Ok so my new goal was to be in a size 14 by feb 14th. I decided to go to the mall this weekend and pic out something cute in a 14 to see how far i had to go. well lo and behold everything i tried on was 14's and they fit!!!! I was soooo shocked! no spanks, no girdles, just me!!!! wow i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and believing i can make my goal of a 12 or 10 in one year! wish me luck!!!
ok my anniversary will be may 20th! my goal was to be in a size 12 top and bottom(those of you that follow my blog, know how that's been going). well today i got a pair of size 12 jeans in the mail i ordered and tried them on just to see. OMG THEY FIT! now they are snug, but still comfortable. I COULD JUST CRY! i cant believe i made it and before my year! YEAH ME!!!!!
Ok I know i posted this yesterday, not sure what happened to it, but hear goes again.
I've been checking my cell phone like crazy waiting for my company to call me and tell me if I have a job in 2 weeks since my current contract ends in two weeks. I see that I have missed a call from the surgery center. I check the VM and they said they have to reschedule my surgery from Fri(20th) til Monday(23rd)! WTH!!!!OMG!! I went into my supervisor's office and balled my eyes out. Couldnt do that to long as my patient was waiting on me. I went and found a friend of mine and she said a quick prayer for me. Well minutes later I went back to my desk only to find another VM from the surgery center! MY SURGERY IS BACK ON FOR FRIDAY!!!! THANK YOU JESUS! God answers prayers and I needed this one answered quickly.
Secondly, I still hadnt heard from my company, finally they call and tell me the hospital has extended my contract till June 24th and possibly longer than that! THANK YOU JESUS!! Now I can go into my surgery with no worries about if i'll be employed in a week. Plus my supervisor know about my surgery and has agreed to manuever my patint caseload to accomodate my 10 pound weight lifiting restriction!!!!! I thank God for his favor, cuz technically she could say you cant do your job and we're ending you contract!
I'm still doin well on the pre-op diet! no cheats! but also no gym ...Tonight is my last night band free!!!! I will find out today the exact time of my proceudure today!
Hope all is well with everyone!!! MUAH!!!
OK i know some of you are waiting to see how I'm doing. The surgery was yesterday and I was a little nervous, but i prayed a lot and that helped calm my nerves. I'm gonna write my full story in the surgery day stories so I wont write it twice. I've gotten a lot of support from my friends and absoltuly none from my sister. I was in tears cuz she has not once called to check on my or shown any interest in if i'm alive or dead! I asked my mom why she's treating me like this and the only thing we can come up with is jealousy!
Anyhow. I'm in some discomfort more than pain. I have 3 incisions, one so small i thought it was a scratch till i touched it and felt the dermabond. Getting out of bed and back in is the worse!!!!!Can anyone offer any suggestions that will make it easier. I've been sleeping on/off since I got home. Still taking pain meds, just cuz i'm afraid if i stop i'll be in a lot of pain.
I'm so glad I did it. I gainded 4 pounds back after the surgery! Did this happen to anyone else? I'm guessing it's the gas. All in all I would do this again and I'm so excited to start my new life. My friend who took me to the surgery gave me a visa gift card to buy my first "skinny" shirt and I cant wait to so that!!!!
Does anyone know if we can video blog on here? I started that yesteday before I went to the surgery, not sure what i'm gonna do with it though.
Hope all is well with everyone. Feel free to PM me if you have further questions. I could not have made it without you guys, thanks for your support and concern!!!
I finally went to Lane Bryant to get fitted for bra's. I"m so sad that the girls are disappearing! UGH! one effect i didnt want. well anyway she helped my find my right size and she asked how i was losing weight and i gladly shared with her about my lap band. She thought it was great. She asked me what size i wore now and i said 12's/ she told me you are too small for anything in our store! I COULD HAVE KISSED HER! never in a million years would i ever think someone would say this to me. And normally i woiuld reward myself with food, but this totally motivated me to hit the gym as soon as i left the store! WOW that felt sooo good!!!
Ok I havent blogged here in a while. There hasnt really been anything big to report. I now know my band does not like white meat chicken or egg yolks from boiled eggs! I must take small bites and chew chew chew. Yeah i know this is bandster 101 stuff but it bears repeating, well to me anyway. I got some not so good news at the dermatologist today about my hair loss(not band related) and I cant relax my hair, wear pony tails or any type of weave, only wigs. ok this may seem stupid to some but i was literally crying leaving the doctors' office. my hair is such an important part of me to me. i dont care if that sounds shallow, it's how i feel. any how, after i talked to my mom and another friend i got over it and decided to not focus on that.
While at walmart i decided to pick up a pair of XL scrub pants to see how close i was to squeezing into them. well i got home and they fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN WEAR XL SCRUB BOTTOMS (and i'm a sista with a lotta junk in the trunk, so this is huge too me)!!!!! yeah me!!!!!
just wanted to share that with everyone!!!!!
Well i survived my first week of my pre-op liquid diet!!!!!YEAH ME!! Nobody is dead, missing limbs and most importantly i'm not in jail!!! LOL! I have officially lost 11.2 pounds that i will NEVER see again in my life!!!Thank you Jesus! I told a friend of mine about how much weight I lost and she actually said see you dont need that surgery! REALLY! And who can live on liquids for the rest of their life! anyway I have had my temptations, but nothing was able to knock me out for the count! I'm soooo shocked and know that it was God that has given my this determination. I've gone to the grocery store when i was "hungry" and had another event that would cause me to eat "emotionally" and i didnt. So I'm here to offer encouragement to other's on this part of their journey or have it coming one day. WE CAN DO THIS! If you find yourself being tempted and you're near your compter get on LBT and go thru the before/after pics to remind yourself what you are working on! If you're not near the computer I found that if I could distract myself for about 10 minutes then the desire to eat would go away. I found out this past week that I only had hunger pains once(last night), all the other times if my stomach growled and I drank something I was fine. I figured out how many times I was just eating in the past cuz I thought I was hungry, it was time, i was bored or hell the sun was shining! I am learning to eat when my body needs it, not when my mind or eyes say eat.
Wishing everyone has a good week! 4 more days and i'm a bandit!!!!
i have been going back and forth on rather i was gonna blog this today, but i must own up to my failures as well as my successes. well i am going in for a fill today. i got on the scale and it has been slowly creeping up. today it said 210!!! i had gotten to 202..that was from february till now. to some that may seem like not a lot, but mentallu to see that second number as a 1 and not a zero just sent me into a mental place i dont need to be. i just cant believe i let it go this far. i take full responsibility for my weight gain. yes i still was in the gym but my eating habits have become less than desirable..ok let me not sugar coat it..i was down right wrong. now i know i need a fill, but i found myself in the past few weeks thinking..it didnt matter what i ate cuz i was gettn a fill and i would just get back on track then. this is the same thinking that held me captive at a size20!! now my 12's still fit, but i know it's only a matter of time before that changes.
i think i blogged this to show myself that even though i am one year post op i still have some mental changing to do when it comes to my weight loss journey. i thought that one year out it would be a walk in the park. i long for the day that i dont have to make a conscience effort to always think about what i am eating for the day. i long for the day that my weight is not always on my mind..but i dont think that day will ever come.
so i've come to accept that my way of life is to be constantly aware of my weight and food intake.
jennifer
I just looked and realized i haven't blogged since july i think. wow and i have nothing really exciting to say now. i did make my size 16 for my bday in august and that's where i still am today almost 3 months later. i have had 4 fills and 2 unfills. let me tell you being too tight is a nightmare. i was too tight for 2 weeks(long story about getting into the doctor) and lost 9 pounds, great, but once i got unfilled those 9 pounds came back so fast it made my head spin. now my band is so loose i feel like i dont even have one.
i cant get back into my doctor until dec 5th for a fill. i think i know now i need to be between 7.5ccs and 8cc for my green zone. after those 9 pounds i have just been gaining and loosing the same 2-3 pounds like i was before my 4th fill. my goal was to be in a 14 by thanksgiving, but that's obvioiusly not happening. my only saving grace is that i still go to the gym 4 days a week if not for that i think i would gain all my weight back. am i not eating 100% right now and i know i'm not. i've fallen right back into almost all of my bad eating habits. i just want dec 5th to hurry and get here so i can get back on track. i have friends that say well since you dont have the right filll right now is when you have to exercise self control. WELL WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT INSTEAD OF PAYING $12K FOR A SURGERY I DIDNT NEED WHEN I CAN JUST USE SELF CONTROL!!!!!! ugh! i regret telling some people I have the band now. i am so afraid of going thru thanksgiving with my band like this. i am going to take my appetite suppresants with me cuz i cant trust myself and force myself to drink plenty of water! Sorry for this cry baby post, but i needed to get it out my system. Thanks for reading whomever decides to read this.
jennifer
ok so i went in for my fill on monday (the 25th).. i had gained 8 pounds since my last unfill in march. i am really tight now. i can eat solid food, just very little..i mean like 4-5 bites(not sure how many ounces). my appetite is totally gone for the most part and i lost 10 pounds in the first week after the fill. my question is do you guys think i need a slight unfill cuz of my rapid weight loss or do you think my body has just been shocked back into loosing?
Well today I started my pre-op all liquid diet. So far it's 6pm and i'm ok. I hear my stomach growling, but it's nothing I cant handle. I had a muscle milk shake for breakfast, chicken broth and SF jello for lunch, just ate a SF popcicle and will have a protein shake for dinner. I've been drinking crystal light as well. I even went to the gym and did 40 minutes of cardio. I'm totally shocked and hope that I can keep this up!
Sooooo i just looked at my blog and see it's been like 5 years since I posted!!!!! WOOOOOOWWWW!!! So if i wrote everything that has happened in those 5 years this would be like 8 pages long, so i will make it short as possible. I met my goal size of a 12 within 11 months of having my band. I was good at maintaining for like 2.5 years. And then my band and i started fighting more and more. Between life, band slippages, emergency unfills, relationship changes and the death of my mother i have basically gained all my weight back. I am back to a size 16 and my original size preband was a 20. I have changed jobs and now am in the process of getting my band removed and revised to a vertical sleeve. I have had many emotions about this from embarrassment, shame, anger, etc. I was self pay for the lap band, but my current insurance does pay for the surgery.
I was submitted for the removal of my lap band and revision to a sleeve and was DENIED!! To say I was devastated is putting it mildly. I am in the process of having my doctor submit further explanation of why it is medically necessary to remove my band.
This time will be different. I will be going to support groups and doing thing before that i hated like actually tracking food and gym times.
I'm pretty sure no one even follows this blog anymore, but i am keeping my youtube blog up to date!
Thanks for stopping by!
OK this will be brief cuz I don't have my laptop...ugh..but u u can go to my you tube page and see my video for today.
Lost 40 pounds.went from size 20 to 12..shoe size from 9 1/2 to 8...
Many nsv's..would do it again in heartbeat..thanks for al ur support!
Sorry so brief but typing on my tablet is annoying..lol
i have been banded 9 months and i'm still learning to work with my band. since my last fill i have been real tight, but still able to eat. what frustrates me is the not knowing. last night i wanted some spaghetti , so i made it and was able to eat about a cup of it. ok that was fine, well i took the same spaghetti for lunch today and was barely able to get in 2 forks full. i wish i could look inside my body and know before i try to eat something if my band is going to cooperate. and when i order food out at a restaurant or fix my plate at home i still get portions like i ate pre-band. I KNOW GOOD AND WELL THAT I CANT EAT IT, but i cant seem to make that mental switch to stop doing that. am i the only person struggling with this.
Are there signs my body is giving me that i'm missing that will tell me if i will be able to eat? HELP!
Ok today is day 5 of the pre-op liquid diet. I'm down 7 pounds!!! Today at work one of our rehab aids comes into the office at lunch time with 2 cakes(just made) and pigs in a blanket made with crescent rolls!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME! For a split second I was gonna take just one, but then i remember how determined i was to make it through this 2 weeks with NO CHEATS!!! so i packed up my notes, left my desk with my soup and SF jello and choose to do my notes in another room. That may be sad that I had to go through all that to resist temptation, but i'm keeping it 100! i had to do what i had to do. i'm soooo proud that i have resisted all the temptations so far! I am focused and determined to win this!!!! Wow this time next week i will be banded!!!
Ok so in the past few weeks i have been back and forth between twoderville and onederland..ugh!!!! SO frustrating. i've talked with a few people and i have decided that i am not gettin enough protein..so i have decided to up my protein and change up my exercise routine. i'm praying this will jump start my losing again. i dont do well with counting calories or myfitness pal..i'm just being honest. so i pray this is what i need to kick this thing into high gear again.
well happy new year all. i hope everyone had safe holidays. well it's been almost a month since my 5th fill. it's kinda been crazy. so days i think i need a slight unfill and then with in that same day i think i'm fine. the scale is finally starting to move. i have upped my gym time from 4 days to 5 days a week. i dont know if this is normal, but like i said some day i can eat what i feel is good for a bandster and some days i can barely get in 2 teaspoons. i have decided that this is how my band is going to be. I'm content. I just never expected it to be so different from day to day. I wonder if others experience the same thing. I thought when i got goo restriction it would be the same all the time(well except in the am i cant eat anything solid till after 10am), but not to change so much even within a day. i mean one day i eat something and the next day it wont go down.
Are me and my band crazy or is this normal?
Well the day is FINALLY here!!!!! I cant believe this day is finally here. I'm not nervous at this point, not sure how i'll feel once i get there. So in the 11 days I've been on the pre-op liquid diet and lost 13 pounds!!! I cant believe that I made it the whole time and didnt cheat. I pray everyone has a successful surgery today. I'll try to check in later to let you guys know how it went! Thank you guys for allllll your love and support during this time, it has helped me sooooo much! love you guys like my family!!! MUAH!
Ok i'm probably gonna be late for work but who cares. I FINALLY HIT ONEDERLAND!! i thought i did yesterday but wanted to make sure today and yep 199!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was a long haul, but now i'm here. i believe i can make my goal in1.5 months!!!!! thanks for all the encourgement guys...ok gotta get to work!
Well i start my pre-op all liquid diet tomorrow. I will admit that i took this weekend to have the last of my favorite foods, one being pizza. This is the one food that I dont think i'll be able to have ever again cuz of the bread componet. And I'm ok with that (i think)! LOL! so I am going through the fridge tossing everything out that is isnt a liquid at this point or that wont keep(frozen) till i'm able to have it again. I'll have a moment of silence and i toss all my comfort foods in the trash! I tried to get my sister to come raid my fridge but she wont and i think it's cuz she doesnt want me to hae the surgery. Oh well! Not trying to be cold, but i'm doing this for me. So with that said I start the liquid diet tomorrow, so i'll check in if i havent passed out by the end of the day! LOL
Ok so my new goal was to be in onederland by VDay. well that's not going to happen. In this past week I got sick(on antibiotics) and TOM was here, hence I picked up a few pounds. Having TOM and being sick made my band super tight! ugh! on another note I bought a size 12 shirt yesterday and it fit nice. I'm sure it was due to the way it was made, but hey it was a 12 and i'll take that. I'm really trying not to be obsessed with the scale again and focus on my actual clothes. it seems if the scale is moving down then my clothes stay the same and vice versa. they just never move simutaneously..ugh! but still happy with my band. sometimes i think i need a slight unfill and then i think i'm fine. my band is so fickle! ugh! does anyone else deal with some days thinking your too tight and then thinking it's just perfect?
I am so frustrated. I have been looking at onederland for about 3 weeks now. it's soooo close i can taste it. i havent changed my routine that has caused me to loose thus far and recently had a small unfill. i just cant seem to get the scale to hit 199! i stay jumping between 201 and 204. WTH! it's so frustrating cuz i'm so close. once the scale even said 200 so just knew the next time i got on it was gonna be 199. NOT! just not sure how to make this stupid scale move. any suggestions?
Ok so today I went for my second fill. I had one last Friday and I felt NOTHING! I was able to eat whatever and was always hungry like 2 hours later. Well I went in for my fill today. My doctor ran an hour late for my appointment, but Jesus himself would have had to drag me out of that office without getting my fill! LOL
I went through the usual routine of getting weighed. I LOST 5 POUNDS SINCE THE FIRST FILL LAST FRIDAY! I was totally shocked! What a wonderful surprize! I am now down 33 pounds from my heaviest weight of 258 and 17 down from when i started my pre-op diet. When i drank the barium(yum yum right) this time it felt different. I felt it stop in the middle of my chest, pause for a little then disapate! HOW I'VE LONGED FOR THIS FEELING! I told my doctor this feels different this time. I now have 7.5 cc's in my band, still dont know what size band I have. I actually dont even care about how much is in it as long as i get restriction and stay full longer. I cant wait to try some real food(on liquids for 2 days, even though he didnt technically say that, i'm sure it's the same from the first fill.) I went to the gym again to work out some frustration from a comment from my mom that really hurt. I'm focused and ready to kick this into full gear!!!!! SIZE 12 HERE I COME!!!
Oh gosh! My not having an appetite is sooooo over! This thing came back with a vengence!!!! I'm soooo upset. I know this may sound ridiculous but i am obsessed with the scale. I went for my 1 week check up on friday and i weight 227, i started mushies on friday and this morning (sunday) i weight 229! WTH!!!!!!!!!!!! i am totally freaking out. I'm trying to figure out what the hell happened. I have feared that once i started eating food i would gain weight! is this normal!!! somebody please tell me this is normal and will not continue. i emailed my dietician, cuz i need some help planning these mushy meals. i have been living on mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, refried beans and tuna. I know my portions have been more like 4 ounces but i havent added veggies yet cuz i dont know what pureed veggies would be tasty. I do not want to blow this....i've been doing good so far and now i feel like i'm failing. I just wish i could have a fill so i could have restriction now! plus i know i have slacked on my liquids. i was so glad to have real food that the liquids kind of took a back burner.
did anyone else gain weight once they started eating foods before they got their first fill?
Ok so I started back with my trainer last thursday and we did legs. i had the regular muscle soreness for the first 2 days, but then my left hip was hurting far more than i thought it should. Long story short I have a hip sprain! i'm soooooo upset. i was doing so good with working out consistently, now this! Also after my cycle left i have gained 5 pounds!!!! wth!!!! i called my doctor's office for another fill. right now the only thing that stops me from eating is myself. i know the band is not a cure all, but i only feel like i have one when i dont chew something well enough or drink a too large sip of water. I am trying not to get frustrated right now. I am almost 2 months out and i cant even get to a 20 pound weight loss!!!! i'm happy for others that are consistently losing, but i want to be one of them! ugh! i just needed to vent. thanks guys!
