It's been awhile since I've been here, and I thought I should check in and say hello! It's been awhile since I've updated "My Other Butt" blog as well, I'm thinking close to a year. I know, I know.. I ought to be ashamed of myself, but that year has been an over-sized portion of awesome, and I'm just not finding room for guilt and shame today! I have always been a lover of life, and I have always known that there is a difference between existing, and living, yet the past year has had many lessons to teach me about knowing my own value, and refusing to settle for less than my own happiness. In the process of painting my life with ALL of the colors rather than being too lazy to change the two or three I have always settled for, I learned that I had NO idea what it meant to step outside of my comfort zone, or to really think outside of "the box." It makes me chuckle to think that I thought I'd been doing both of those things for years!
In about a month it will be two years since my lap band surgery. Most of the first year was spent in awe of how quickly my body changed, and the second year has mostly been spent in awe of how my mentality, attitude, metabolism, energy, health and perspective have changed. And after all of that, I can say that I'm still the same person that I always was, I just have new vision and appreciation for the things that I was blinded to for so long.
When I first began this journey, I could only hope, dream, and wonder what changes would take place for me in two years time. It seems like in the blink of an eye my focus changed, my will became infinitely stronger, and I find myself making a valiant effort to learn how to be "selfish." It's not easy. It is my nature to be a pleaser and a giver, neither of which are bad things until giving to others and pleasing those I love become more important that what I need for myself. I speak up more. I say "NO" more. I no longer feel guilty for speaking my mind or saying "no",these days. Both of those in huge contrast to the way I dealt with them two years ago.... I'm learning to stop saying" I'm fine" when I'm not, and I'm learning to be honest when asked what I need, or what I want. (Gasp). Both of those are things I've been unable to do for far too long, and have often seemed nearly impossible to overcome. I'm successful, and still I fail sometimes too, but it's pretty amazing to be able to see a reason to keep trying, and for my motivation to be ME, rather than letting guilt and fear of hurting someone continue to drive me along. .
Within the first 10 1/2 months I lost more than the normal weight of another person my size. And suddenly... I was too thin. Wait.. WHAT? Yep, you saw it right. I got too thin before my first year out from surgery. It took my boyfriend, my family, and my good friends to convince me that I needed to have some fluid removed from my band so that I could eat more. For the first time in my entire life, I needed to GAIN weight, and I can't begin to tell you how terrifying that was for me. I wasn't even remotely convinced that I could do that without ending up back where I started. I suddenly knew first hand why it was so important to pass a psychiatric evaluation in order to be approved for the surgery. The entire process has affected far more than my physical body.. in fact, I'm very sure that so far the physical changes are minimal compared to the emotional and psychological changes I've seen in myself.
Right now I weigh 149 pounds. I am barely over 5'3". I wear size 7 jeans, sometimes size 9. I was down to size 4. I wear size large shirts, and had been down to a small and occasionally extra small. My body is curvy, and I look very average, and very healthy. My hair is starting to look shiny and thick again after getting very damaged, thin, and dead looking that first year. I am still my own harshest critic, and I will always be afraid of waking up one day and the past two years of my life will have been nothing more than a dream. It's still surreal, and I'm afraid I may never let my guard down and get comfortable enough to stop worrying about giving up and getting fat because I forgot to take care of myself first, or I forgot how lucky I am that my band worked exactly how it was supposed to without complication and without taking 2 or 3 years to reach my goal. For me, it was magical, and miraculous, and though I wish I could say easy, I absolutely can not. I worked hard. I learned to listen to my body and what it needed. I learned to stop denying my body, mind, and spirit. I made some sacrifices, and I overcame strong fears to do the right thing for myself. Don't believe for a moment that any of it was taking the easy way out. Don't believe that when I say it was "magical" that I mean without effort or pain. And if you're just starting out on your journey or perhaps just researching the lap band as an option for yourself the most important thing you should know is that everyone's story is different. You may do it faster, you may take three times as long to see results. You may breeze through every aspect of it without incident, or you may find obstacles at every turn making you question your choice or your ability to see it through.
Standing here nearly 2 years later I don't have a single regret. Lap band was the perfect choice for me. And even though I accomplished what I set out to do, my current weight and body aren't the best part of the deal for me. The best part is at the end of the day I know who I am, I love who I am, I didn't poison my soul or compromise it by being afraid to stand up and speak out, and none of that can be purchased or forced on anyone. For me it was the positive result of taking care of myself nomatter how inconvenient, time consuming or difficult it got to do so.
I wish the same realizations for all of you!
Here's me: with nephews and grandbabies
Thinking back on this year I remember most wondering how far I'd be when the first year was up. Never did I imagine that I would have exceeded my goal and be at the bottom end of all of the weight I had to lose.
Today it's been 11 months, and I weigh around 130 pounds. A little less some days, a little more others. I haven't counted the inches lately, but it's a lot. I bought a new pair of capri jeans last week and they were a size 1/2. ONE/TWO!! What??? Those jeans are Maurices brand, and I'm pretty sure the sizes run big. They have to. Just a month ago I was wearing a size 28 waist. I was thinking that was around a size 7/8 I know I'm a little smaller than that now, but a size 1/2 seems ridiculously small. I tried on a size 26 waist and they were snug.. so I don't know. I'm thinking my true size might more accurately be about a 4 right now. My boyfriend looked at those pants and asked me if they were for a kid! Haha, very funny mister boyfriend! I continue to drop inches in a mad fashion, and I believe it's because I've been working out. A lot. I do the express circuit three times a week, walk/run on the treadmill at least twice a week and play racquet ball. I'm no good at racquet ball as far as the "rules" go. But it's such an amazing workout getting in there and pounding that ball around. And it's fun!! The guys from the free-weight room watch and laugh sometimes.. I'm sure I look like a complete dork in there (along with my daughter - in- law) running around, sometimes missing the ball, sometimes slamming it, and I always have my i-pod on with good move tunes playing, so I'm in my own little world so to speak... marching to the beat of my own life. Laugh mister weight lifters.. see if I care!!
I haven't had a fill in over 2 months. I don't need one at all. I have tons of restriction still, and I'm really happy with where I am. I don't eat much at all, and it amazes me that I don't need to. That's huge for me. My life once revolved around when my next meal was.. what I was going to eat, how much I was eating, etc. etc. Now I forget to eat sometimes. Weird. I remember thinking that people who "forgot to eat" must be insane. Who forgets to eat? But trust me, it does get to that point. The other thing I tend to forget (believe it or not) is that I don't wear a size 2XL or XL even anymore. I bought a couple of those little spaghetti strap tank top thingies at Walmart a few days ago (you know the ones that are like $4) and automatically bought a size XL. Oops! Not so much. I need a medium now. Some old habits die hard I guess.
I have bony parts of my body. Weird. I still freeze easily.. no fat to insulate. I'm looking forward to warmer weather and have really been enjoying the unseasonably warm spring like days we've been having lately.
I'm up and moving so much more than I ever did before now. I feel like it, for starters. But I think it's mostly because I can! Not that I couldn't before, well... okay I couldn't do a lot. But now I have energy, and ability, and suddenly a desire to not let too much grass grow under my feet. Don't get me wrong, I can still laze around with the best of them for awhile, and still enjoy snuggling up and watching a movie sometimes, but when it's time to move, it's time to move! I ran (literally) to my car last week for something and my oldest son said "Now you're just showing off" I said "What? Why?" He said "I've never seen you run for ANYTHING.... EVER" Hahaha! Silly boy! I didn't even realize I did it!
My boobs have shrunk! Seriously. It's like someone stuck a needle in them and let all the air out! Booooo! Remember when I couldn't wait for them to shrink? I thought that somehow they would just shrink a little, just be a smaller version of what they were.. but no. We're talking tube-sock with an orange in it pretty much. Ahh well. The photo you see here doesn't really show the whole tube sock concept...but bras these days are basically smoke and mirrors my friends! Unfortunately what you see isn't really what you get. Yeah, yeah, a little false advertising.
11 months ago I figured it would be 2 years before I wrote a blog like this one. At least 2 years. I have had a very short journey filled with amazing losses and amazing gains. I found my other butt in far less time than I dreamed possible (even though it really, really needs some firm and tone work, but looks awesome in jeans). I found my energy. I found my mojo. I found my life. I'm so grateful for the things this year has given and taken away. I will be back in another month with my one year pictures, and anything new to share. Thanks for your support and words of encouragement along the way!
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Today it has been 10 months since I started this journey to find my other butt! Ten months have gone by so fast, and so much has happened, I don't know where to begin. So I will try to be brief, and let a couple of photos speak the volumes that I have to say!
I am down more than 130 pounds, and I've honestly lost track of how many sizes. Let's see.. I'm wearing a size 28 waist jeans now.. not sure how that translates but I'm guessing it's a size 8, maybe 7. I only have 1 pair of jeans that fits perfectly right now, the rest get held up with a belt! I'm okay with that for awhile. I wear a size large shirt.. sometimes a medium, depending on style. The girls have begun to shrink. And I must say, on that note, to be careful what you wish for.. I now have pancake boobs... or darn close to pancakes anyway, and bra style is EVERYTHING!! hehe!
Most of my shoes are big on me now which is something that still surprises me ten months later, because I never thought of how fat my feet used to be. I may have mentioned in an earlier post how much my wardrobe has increased because I now have three closets to choose from instead of just one.. definitely a bonus!
I continue to be unrecognizable to lots of people. I still find it entertaining, and funny! When I look at old pictures of myself, I'm stunned, and can't believe the difference... so I completely understand how people who I don't see very often have no idea who I am!!
My life has changed in all of the ways you might have guessed, and in many ways that I never would have expected. I am understanding even more why lap-banders are required to go through a psychiatric evaluation before they can be approved for surgery. Such huge life-changing things happening inside of such a relatively small space in time could truly send a person spinning off into nutzoid land. I think I'm doing pretty well at keeping my distance from said nutzoid land most of the time, but others may disagree!
Here's a couple of photos taken this morning by my daughter-in-law who had me laughing hard the whole time!
I have to say I still look at photos and think I look a little fat. I guess I'll always have issues. A friend of mine reminded me this morning that the camera adds ten pounds so maybe I should just go with that! I'm not done yet, but getting very close!
It's after 3am and I can't remember the other things I was going to write, so I'll just call this good!
Thanks for stopping by!
Oh.. and NO I didn't dye my hair red! The lighting kinda makes the natural red in my hair shine in these pics though huh?!
Looks like I could only add one photo for whatever reason.. you can see one more if you visit my blog at:
http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
Welcome 2012! Not that the old year was bad really, although the ending was tough for whatever reason, but I have super high hopes for 2012! I had some amazing things happen for me last year, that's for sure, and the MOST amazing thing of course was getting my band. It has changed my life HUGELY!!
I have started off the new year weighing 115 pounds less than I did at the start of 2011. Can I get an AMEN??! For a lot of the past 9 months I've weeded out a lot of old clothes that don't fit, tossed them into piles and passed them along to others who could wear them. I need to do that again. I save stuff thinking that it will be okay even if it's a little too big.. but my vain self has become hyper-critical and I can barely stand to wear anything anymore that's too big. I know, it's a curse. I do still have some hoodies that are big and which I love, but for the most part, if it hangs on me, it gets tossed in the bag!
I went to see my surgeon's nurse three days ago to discuss a fill, and determined that it wasn't necessary, which wasn't surprising at all. She told me that my next appointment would be with my surgeon, to discuss my final goal. I'm much closer than I thought I would be now, and I hope these last 20 or so pounds won't be too difficult to drop!
From the very beginning I've been excited to see "my other butt" emerge, and I can say today that it has.. and it looks damn good comparatively! It needs work though. Lots of work! My workout goals have changed now to accommodate that realization. It's time to tone kids! I've been lax. Well, up until a couple of weeks ago I was super lax, but I'm getting better, and it feels fabulous! I've discovered the great workout that Ping-Pong can be! Go ahead, laugh! But it's true! I play a few times a week, and it feels pretty amazing the next day to have worked out muscles that I hadn't in quite awhile. Plus it's FUN!
I'm really looking forward to some warm weather now! Definitely a new thing for me! I've always loved winter, and truth be told, it's because I could wear more clothes to hide behind. Sweatshirts layered over other crap just served as a bigger wall for me. It's taken me some time to break that habit in the past year. I'm doing pretty good with it now though, and I'm looking forward to fewer clothes for the first time in 28 years or so!
I'm also looking forward to playing disc golf, walking, playing with the kiddos outside, swimming, boating, and yes even fishing as the weather warms up and I can get out there to play! I'm sorry winter.. I know I'm being disloyal, but I don't need you anymore to hide behind! It feels really fantastic to say that!
The picture I'm using this month was taken a few days ago to show for my 9 month band birthday! I need to take a better one of my butt, maybe that will be here for my 10 month pic!
If you are just starting out on your lapband journey, let me say that YOU CAN DO THIS!! You deserve the rewards that will come with the hard work! And yes, it IS hard work. Some days it's been the easiest thing in the world, but psychologically, and physically, it can be grueling to step outside of old habits that have kept you fat for this long, the worst part was honestly getting beyond the head hunger, and learning to listen to my body! But once the weight started coming off it got much easier to do the work, and reap the rewards!
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Thanks for stopping by!
Yesterday was my 8 month bandiversary! I have to say that I have not had even one moment of regret for having made the decision to have a lap band! Not ONE!!
Today I am wearing cute jeans in a size 9 and they are fitting loosely!
Today I weigh 106 pounds less than I did at my highest weight just before my surgery.
Today I can more than keep up with my grandbabies and match their energy all day long!
Today I can share clothes with my best friend!
Today I am healthy beyond my wildest imagination!
Today I can wear bras that I bought from Victoria Secret (her secret is that if you're bigger than a 38DD you don't get to wear her stuff!!)
Today I barely remember how I used to look until I see those photos!
Today one of my grandsons 3 year old friends told me "You don't look like a grandma!"
Today I know that my goals are completely obtainable, and very well within my reach!
Today I know that I need a new driver's license photo and well.. a whole new license because mine says I weigh WAY more than I do!
Today I want to tell you that a Lap Band can help you be the you that is hiding inside beneath all those layers of weight. YOU know who you are.. now it's time to show everyone else!! Here's to better health, better self esteem, better shopping, better dating, better sex, better sleep, better choices, better LIFE!!
Today I look like this:
Today is GOOD!! Cheering you all on from the Nebraska prairie!!
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HOLY CRAP!!!!
I just had to post these like this
I hope no one is offended, but my blog IS called MY OTHER BUTT!!
The one on the left was taken on April 11, 2011... 7 months ago.
The one on the right was taken this morning ~ November 10th, 2011.
I'm almost embarrassed to post the original... but a picture says 1000 words eh?
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I caught my reflection in a window two days ago, and I was so surprised. I looked AWESOME! Now, for whatever reason, it's so different for me catching my reflection by chance than it is looking in the mirror every day. Don't get me wrong, when I look in the mirror now I can definitely see changes in myself. I know I'm not physically the same person that I was 7 months ago, but I don't think I see myself honestly, because I do mostly see a bigger person than I think I am now. But my reflections that I catch in windows, doors or unexpected mirrors still keep surprising me!! More than once I truly didn't even realize it was me I was looking at.. well, at least it didn't register that it was me if that makes any sense at all!
I went to see my surgeon today for my 7 month check up. I have lost 95 pounds! The nurse whom I regularly see told me that soon I will need to sit down with the doc and set my final goal! It feels fabulous to have reached this point so much sooner than I had planned!
My other bit of fabulous news is that I am now wearing a size 10 jeans! Can I get a HELL YEAH?!!
No fill for me today. The nurse warned me that I may not make it a full month though without reaching "super hunger mode" and if I do before my next appointment to call them and come right up for a little fill! I'm still floating up here on cloud 10, and I don't plan to come back down anytime soon! And I might just add too, that "my other butt" is making a very nice come back if I do say so myself! It definitely needs work, but it sure is lookin good in jeans!
For those of you reading this blog who are just starting your lap band adventure, or whom are just thinking about starting it, I want you to know that if you are willing to make a few sacrifices, this tool is the best thing you can do for yourself! If you are wondering if you can cheat your way through, the answer is yes, but why the hell would you? And last of all, attitude is EVERYTHING with this process! You must believe you will succeed, and be ready to put forth every effort to do so! Be willing to give some things up to gain SO MUCH!! It's worth it.. worth every last penny, worth every piece of bread you eventually won't be able to eat, worth every bottle or can of soda that you probably won't be able to drink for a good long time, and worth dealing with the head hunger for awhile. Keep your eye on the prize!!
Thanks for stopping by!
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Six Months! Goooo ME!
I'm 8 days past my six month bandiversary! I can't believe I forgot to post this.. okay, maybe I can. I've been pretty busy enjoying life!
So, six months out, and here's what I have going on:
I have lost 84 pounds as of this morning.
I have dropped more than ten sizes in most of my clothing
I have shoes that are too big, rings that are too big, and clothes that I had sentimental attachments to falling off.. (yes I know.. toss 'em!)
I have a collar bone.
I brought another bone to my doctor's attention at my last fill... the nurse laughed at me and said "honey you will be finding all sorts of bones you didn't remember you had!" This particular bone turned out to be my xiphoid process which is right in the sternum and something I don't think most people are even aware of ever.. but when it suddenly appears, it's ummm.. interesting!
I need a new driver's license photo, because my old one is almost unrecognizable as me! Plus my weight on my license is alll wrong now!
I sleep so very well now, and I think that's because I don't snore anymore!
I'm much healthier, and I feel FABULOUS!
I actually like seeing my reflection unexpectedly when walking past a window, door or mirror and still can't believe it's me sometimes!
There's more, but you get the idea, right? I love my emerging body.. I love not feeling like an impostor in someone else's bigger body! I love the energy that I have, and can share. I have always loved life, but I didn't realize that it was possible to love it more, and it is.
I have no reason not to believe that by my one year bandiversary I will be at my ideal weight or very close to it. I hope I'm not jumping the gun on making that forecast for myself, but so far this lap band has exceeded my expectations! I went into it expecting it to work... I was completely willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. To date, I've had very few disappointments with my band, and many huge surprises!
If you are reading these blogs looking for encouragement and positive results, I hope I have given you that. I wouldn't change one single thing, and if I had it to do all over again, I would in a New York minute. It's been the best thing that's happened to my body in years, and near as I can tell, it saved my life!
The one and only tiny complaint I have that is worth mentioning is that I do believe all of my lost FAT used to keep me warmer!! It's getting cold here on the prairie, and the new healthier me is going to need to buy a big old coat for the winter... in a much smaller size of course! Not even a real complaint now is it?!
Here's to six months under my belt, and here's to the next six months of losing and winning!
Thanks for stopping by!
Oh.. here's a couple of 6 month pics to share! I would have worn more flattering clothes if I'd have known I was going to do this blog today!! But this is me in my fall/winter uniform hehe... love my blue jeans and sweatshirts, even if they do make me look fatter than I am. Funny.. I used to wear them to hide all that fat! 'Scuse the messy hair too... dang I'm a hot mess!!
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I passed the 5 month mark and didn't have a chance to get a blog done until today.. so I'm at 5 months and 6 days! Hmmm what's that.. around 21 weeks? I don't know.. I kind of lost count, but what I do know is this:
I'm down 73 pounds, and I'm down more than 10 numbers in sizes! TEN NUMBERS... well, more than ten numbers actually, if you count the last pair of jeans I bought! (insert big ol grin here!) I guess honestly, that's only 5 to 6 sizes since sizes tend to jump by 2 numbers, but I think it's absolutely amazing!!
I've been enjoying this journey so much lately, even though Ive come to the sad realization this week that eating isn't really a very pleasant experience for me anymore. This kind of makes me sad, and extremely grateful at the very same time. Weird, I know. My last fill was last week, and boy is it tight right now. But I loosen up quite a bit as I drop inches, and I know it won't last forever. I've had to adopt some little tips and tricks to make eating easier these past few days. My band is way tighter in the morning than in the evening. I have to drink something hot to even be able to eat anything at all, and even liquids are a tight squeeze when I first drink them each day. But eventually things loosen up a little, and I can eat... sort of. I now know what it means to have to eat verrrry slowly! I'm talking super small bites, and 5-10 minutes in between each bite right now... thus, not such a pleasant eating experience. Everyone in my family is done WAY before I am, and it's about impossible to go out to eat anywhere and actually enjoy a meal, unless I just sit there and talk, not eat. BUT, I still have the best luck with meat. I can still eat steak.. not very much, but I can eat it. Hamburger doesn't like me as much for whatever reason, and forget chicken. I don't care how moist and tender it is, it hates me... or my band hates it, whichever way that goes. And another surprising thing.. I absolutely can NOT eat mashed potatoes. They get stuck every stinkin time, even if they have lots of gravy on them. (Insert big ol sad face here!!) I LOVE mashed potatoes.. and you would think that would be something I'd have to be leery of, since for most people mashed taters are sliders.. (they slide right on through) but not me. Ahh well, it's a good thing probably.. if they slid right on through I'd probably eat them three times a day.
I can't do any carbonation at all.. it feels weird and unpleasant. I haven't drank a soda in almost 6 months, and don't miss it, however I attempted to drink an AMP energy drink today and it about choked me. It's surely a good thing that I love water and iced tea! I've been having issues with lemonade lately too.. not sure what's up with that.. the weirdest things seem to get "stuck" for me.
I've reached ONEDERLAND and I couldn't be more thrilled about it! That's my "Scale Victory"
and now for some "Non Scale Victories" for the week::
The "girls" are shrinking slowly, but surely.. my tank bras are getting too big, and that's awesome!
I can easily wear a size XL top down from a 3X and sometimes 4X. That's progress! If my top half would catch up with my bottom half in the downward spiral I'd be in good shape, but I'm not complaining, it's happening and I can see it.
My shoulders are so pretty! LOL I used to HATE my shoulders. They looked so fat and ugly to me, and now I just love them.
I have tons more energy than I remember having in years. I jog up and down my stairs several times a day and don't end up laying on my bed or the floor as my lungs beg for mercy! I take up so much less space these days too.. weird... in my clothes.. in my car... on my furniture... My daughter in law pulls my pants out of the dryer now and just says "wow" every time. There really is a huge difference. Yeah.. things are diminishing and I just love it! I've lost close to 40 inches over my entire body.
My other butt is emerging too~ it's taking shape a little better. I was thinking it was going to be on the flat side after all of this, but now I'm not so sure. I'm seeing differences there almost daily. Exercise is helping I think.
So that's my report for now.. I'm hoping that by the time Christmas gets here I need a lot of new clothes!! I already do, actually, but I'm hoping a lot of new smalllllller clothes! I'm getting greedy now aren't I? I can't help it, I'm seeing this weight melt away, and I have so much hope now that it's not going to take forever to get to my ideal weight. I was willing to settle for 20 or 30 pounds over the "ideal" when I first started... but not anymore! I now know I can do this! And that's such a great feeling!
Thanks for stopping by!
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Somewhere just over 130 days into my journey I am down a little over 60 pounds, more inches than I have counted in awhile, about 4 pants sizes, and at least 2 top sizes. There's the overview! My band is working exactly how it's supposed to still! I can't help but be impressed by that!
I don't have tons of stuff to write today, so I think I will just let a photo speak for me.
You can see my BEFORE photos on my blog under the PHOTOS tab... And this, is me taken on Saturday morning... just a progress photo. Still got a long way to go, but I love seeing changes!
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XGHygPla3P4/TlU0SSQpf5I/AAAAAAAAAHU/x66U9SV1FHg/s1600/me+again.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> And that's all I've got today!
The journey so far has been so much more than worth it! Thanks for stopping by!
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4 months after lap band surgery, and life is GOOD. Actually, life is better than good! But I've been so bad! I have every excuse in the book, (I'll just say that up front!) But I haven't been to the gym in almost three weeks! STILL I have managed to continue losing weight, and eating great, and I'm thinking that when "fill day" comes next week I probably won't be needing one. But I do have a week to go, so maybe I shouldn't be so sure.
At any rate.. I have a lot of wonderful news to share this week.. I'll try not to let this get too long.
First off the list.. my son's wedding was FABULOUS! Lots of work, lots of company, lots of craziness, but worth every second! I had the privilege of photographing the event, and I'm so grateful for that! It was definitely a different perspective... I could have opted to sit it out and watch from a normal 'mother of the groom' perspective, but I had a lot of fun where I'm most comfortable: behind the lens!
Second off the list: I completed "Lab Rat Days" in Denver yesterday with excellent reports! I got away from there with my "medication free" status in tact, but possibly not for long. I did have a Defibrillator interrogation today and I might be looking at some kind of anti-arrhythmia medication later this month, but nothing is certain.. I will update on that later.
I'm continuing to fill up bags with "too big" items, and that's still as fun as it was from the first pair of pants that went in! I'll admit that's not very motivating as far as getting me to the gym. I think it would be easier if I stopped losing weight while I was thinking up excuses not to go!! I will go back tomorrow.. I'm sure of it. (Laughing outloud!) I really am ready to return. Gosh it's easy to stay away though, and I just don't know if I will ever be one of those people who gets addicted to exercise.. I won't hold my breath waiting for it, that's a promise! I did promise myself that once the wedding was done, and all of my company left I'd get back into my routine, and I can't be breaking that promise now can I?
Last big news... "HOUSTON, WE HAVE A COLLARBONE!"
Yep.. it's there.. just as I suspected! (Laughing out loud again!) I've been waiting for it to show.. I missed it!
I'm weird.. I know it! Okay, perhaps I didn't miss it. Honestly, I didn't even realize it was missing until someone else discovered theirs after losing a lot of weight! But once I realized it was hiding, I was pretty excited to see mine again! And today, I can see it! Sweet huh?!
Closing in on 60 pounds gone~ and Onederland is just around the corner!
Thanks for stopping by!
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Happy July 26th! It has to be a holiday somewhere doesn't it? Maybe I should just say Happy Day 105~ that's how long it's been since I got my lap band. 15 weeks!
I really don't have too much of anything new to report this week. My last fill is still doing it's thing.. I'm eating two meals a day, and for the past week the meals haven't been very big. But I'm satisfied, and staying full until it's time for the next meal. I still have no desire to graze or eat between meals, and I am so grateful for that. Sometimes my band feels so tight that even liquid takes its sweet time going through, but that's never been an all day thing for me. It's usually in the mornings and evenings, and I can still drink just fine, but the first few swallows remind me that my band is still there. I feel hungriest at lunch because I don't normally eat breakfast anymore. Firstly, I'm not hungry for a few hours after I wake up, and secondly, if I were to eat it wouldn't be much.. my band is tightest in the mornings, at least that's how it feels. By 11 am I am super hungry though, and have found that I can eat lunch, but not a lot. My lunches have been my smallest meal. By dinner time (at least 6 hours later) I'm hungry again, but a small portion of food satisfies and fills me up!
Do I dare hope that this will last? Could I have found a sweet spot already? I guess only time will tell. I'm scheduled for another fill in August, but I'm truly hoping that I won't need it. Weight loss at this point is slower. I'm dropping 3 to 4 pounds a week on average and that makes me very happy! Just enough to see a little loss every few days.. and as long as the numbers are going down I have a big smile on my face! Still no Pepsi or any other type of soda for me, but I have occasionally drank a wine cooler or beer with no difficulty or adverse reaction to the carbonation. I technically could drink a soda now I guess, but I DON'T MISS IT anymore! Yay me!!
Ya know, initially I was kind of dreading the holidays this year. I was nervous about how much food I would want to eat, and how that would all play out since typically the holidays have been gorge fests for me. I was thinking about it the other day though, and I'm not nervous about it at all. I can't eat that much, regardless of how much is in front of me, and in my estimation that's exactly how this band is supposed to be working. I'm actually very excited for the holidays this year for so many reasons, not the least of which is that I will be smaller! I love cooking around the holidays, and much of that is traditional, and I'm so looking forward to that yet. I still love cooking even though I don't have that desire to eat as much anymore. Tonight we're having guests for dinner and I'm doing comfort food extraordinaire! Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and country gravy, cheesy creamed corn and salad. Yep! I'm eating it too, and when I'm done I will still be under my allotted calories for the day! It's really a great feeling to know that I can still enjoy the food I love the most sometimes, and I don't have to worry about sabotaging myself. I don't know if this will hold out forever.. but while it lasts I'm loving it!
See ya next week ~ and thanks for stopping by!
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14 weeks today, and I finally had to break down this morning and realize that I may have eaten my last burrito ever. BOOOO! I gave it a good try this morning. I really did, but all three little bites that I took got stuck for a few minutes on the way down, and let me tell you... that's no way to eat a burrito! DUH! I know, I know.. I'm a very slow learner sometimes. Since the beginning of this journey I've had issues with tortillas, but after the first difficult swallow, I could usually get them down just fine. My last fill took care of that in short order! Ahh well. It's a good thing I guess. I'll be needing new jeans again shortly ~ YAY! Okay.. needing them and buying them are two different things right now. So I did the next best thing, which is something I haven't done in a very long time... I bought a belt! I LOVE my new belt! And the new belt will last longer than the new jeans would I suspect. My new belt makes me very happy! It looks cute, and it's not an accessory at this point.. it's a necessity!
I'm posting a photo here instead of on the photo page of this blog. I'm wearing normal clothes rather than the workout clothes that I wore for my "before pics" that are posted under the photos tab on this blog. It's just a full body pic, so compare as you will, but I probably need to take some more side by side photos dressed in the same type of clothes for a true comparison one of these days. My son took this for me to commemorate 90 days down and half way there!
I love my lapband.. I can't say it enough! It's the absolute best thing I've ever done for ME! I feel healthier, and look better than I have in more than 27 years. I'm on my way! Thanks for stopping by!
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Going from month to month I've officially been banded for 3 months now! 13 weeks if I count the weeks and just over 90 days! . At any rate.. I'm in the game further than I'd been able to imagine from the beginning and according to my doctor today, I'm doing "phenomenally well" That's good stuff to hear!
I had my third fill today and it hurt. After the second one feeling so much better I wasn't prepared for this one at all. A very inexperienced PA got to do the fill today, and wow.. hopefully she gets a few more under her belt before he turns her loose on me again. (insert disgusted look here!) But, the great news is I had lost weight, not as much as the last time I went in a month ago, but I was down 5 pounds this time. I had a two week vacation in there with no fill before I left, so I was expecting to have gained. I'll definitely take the 5 pound loss! I got a 1cc fill today which puts me at 5cc total. Maybe this will be the beginning of the sweet spot era! I am hoping!
I realized today that I am half way to my goal! In three months time that is AMAZING stuff! I feel extremely empowered and motivated right now. I'm getting a little glimpse of my other butt! It's definitely coming out of hiding a little more every day, and it feels fabulous! Every single day I notice little changes that make me very happy. I wasn't prepared for that. I don't know why. It's definitely an added bonus to this journey. I don't really know what I thought it would be like, but not knowing exactly what to expect, I didn't allow myself to get overly excited about how fast the weight would come off, or how the inches would melt away even faster. I certainly haven't had a moment's disappointment since day one. I am so grateful for that.
As far as diet goes.. I'm only eating two meals a day most days now, and that's what my doctor wants. I have very little desire to graze or snack between meals at all anymore which pleases me to no end. I haven't drank a Pepsi or soda of any kind since the week before my surgery, and I barely miss that at all right now which is seriously amazing to me. It's been 90 days.. and I had hoped that is all it would take to make me able to kick that habit completely, and I believe I have. I know I drank at least 900 calories per day of just Pepsi before my lap band, and sometimes it was more! These days I drink a lot of water, a lot of unsweetened ice tea, and an occasional glass of lemonade.
My meals each day are less than half the size of my pre lapband meals. Again, I'm so amazed by that! It makes me giggle when I think about it! I have to admit, I pretty much eat whatever I want. I don't disallow myself anything unless I've had "stuck" issues with it. I haven't had any bread yet since my fill today, but I suspect it will deal me fits. I'm okay with that, because the past month I've had to be pretty careful about bread and tortillas. They are the most likely to get stuck for me. I still eat cheesy things, I still have sour cream on some things, although not as much as I used to. I just don't crave it like I did. I never crave cake, cookies, brownies etc., but then I never really did before either. I still eat pasta, potatoes and occasionally pizza, but my portions are child sized, and I get full on them really fast. I eat a lot more salads these days and thankfully haven't had any "stuck" episodes due to those. My latest kick has been the Strawberry Fields salad kits from the produce section of the grocery store. 200 calories per serving, and there are only two servings in the bag. BIG servings! One bag is at least three lunches for me. The kit has dried sweet strawberries, slivered almonds, and this delicious strawberry vinaigrette that you pour over it. Sometimes I kick in a little feta cheese and still my calorie count is low, and they are so yummy!!
My "head hunger" is way less than it was in the first two months. I'm much more able to be completely satisfied eating just when I'm actually hungry right now. I think this is due in large part to the fact that I haven't deprived myself of eating many of the things I love to eat. Allowing myself to have those things has let me feel more in control, and because I can only eat small portions I'm not getting the horrible damaging amounts of bad stuff that I used to get. I don't know how this would work for everyone.. it just works really well for me. And I decided from the very first week after this surgery that I was going to find, and follow what worked the best for me, and I'm convinced that is why I've been as successful as I have so far. When something has stopped working (like bread and tortillas) I let it go and move on.
I have an entire close full of clothes that need to GO! My pile of too big clothes has been growing, and yesterday I realized that almost everything in that closet is too big. Some of it is still wearable.. I'm okay with a few baggy things, but most of it just won't work for me. Love that!
I'm supposed to go back in a month to see where I am.. I have high hopes and a goal. Wish me luck!
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Tomorrow will be 12 weeks into my banded life and I still don't have a single regret to report! I've never been more sure of my decision, and it's been many years since I've felt healthier and better about who I am! I just spent 11 days on the best beach vacation ever! A girl's trip to Gulf Shores, AL was just what the proverbial doctor ordered, and I'm home tanned, relaxed, and more than a few inches smaller than I was when I left!! How's THAT for vacation? Perfect if you ask me. I lost a whopping total of one pound while I was gone haha! But towards the middle of last week I noticed that my bathing suit (which I spent a lot of time in) was fitting very strangely. It felt too big in the stomach for starters, but then I noticed that the bra cups in it were all deformed looking. I realized that the girls had shrunk! YEEE HAW!! There's hope on the horizon my friends!
I admit I was a little concerned about vacation eating, especially since I didn't get a fill before I left, but I had decided that I wasn't going to stress about it. I ate very well.. I ate normal sized portions, and had no problems with wanting to snack between meals. I drank at least one frozen alcoholic concoction every single day while I was on that beach.. along with lots of water and lemonade. I felt a little restriction at times which was comforting, and let me know my band was doing its job, and had a couple of "stuck" episodes that were mild, and lasted only a few minutes. I ate LOTS of steamed shrimp! Mmmmm! I miss that yummy steamed shrimp.. the kind you can get on the Nebraska prairie just doesn't compare.
One highlight of my trip that I must share ~~ I PARASAILED!! Oh yeah! I stepped right outside of my comfort zone and flew high above the Gulf of Mexico! I absolutely loved it and will do it again if I ever get the chance. I felt like super woman when I was done, and I kind of still do!
I was without a scale for the entire vacation, and that freaked me out a little.. I figured that I'd have gained a pound or two by the time I got home, even though it was pretty obvious that I'd left a few inches down in Alabama somewhere! I was pretty happy when I stepped on that scale yesterday and realized that there was no gain, and I could still be friends with both the scale and the mirror!
I'm happy to be home.. and while I didn't use a gym even once while I was gone, I did have the sand to walk in so I got a little added exercise I guess! It's back to the gym for me this week! I'm also looking forward to adding a daily fruit smoothie to my diet! Hey~ it's my healthy version of a daily frozen concoction that will remind me of the beach as I delve back into reality! Thanks Aunt Jan for introducing me to the wonderful smoothie! My other butt is getting closer.. I can feel it! I hope you all have had a safe and happy Independence Day if you're in the USA~ and mostly, that you spent it with the people you love! That's all for this week ~ thanks for stopping by!
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I'm a day late to my blog this week with no excuse other than I'm getting ready to roll on out to sugar sands and celebrate life week starting tomorrow!
I had a doctor's appointment last week for what was to be my third fill. Weighed in, lost 8 pounds since two weeks earlier for my previous fill, saw the doc for five minutes and he said he was super happy with where I was. Sweet! No fill for me! He asked several questions about what I'd been eating and what was happening with restriction etc., and said that I was losing "tremendously", and that I was a "model patient for the lap band!" YAY me! I have been feeling the exact same things, but it's wonderful when your doctor concurs!
I'm down somewhere between 40 and 45 pounds! I. Am. Thrilled!!
I'm guessing I won't have much scale access over the next eleven days while I'm on vacation, so it should be interesting to see how well I do while I'm gone. I still have really good restriction right now, so my band will be working it's magic for me and hopefully I won't have to think about it much. I'll also be taking a vacation from the gym ~ but I'm hoping that walking the sandy beaches will partially make up for that.
On a mostly unrelated note: Many of you know that I have a disease called Sarcoidosis. I am under several doctor's care because of that disease, and am being watched like a hawk because of the medications that I'm taking to keep the disease at bay. I was recently taken off of those medications until my check up in August, and have been doing extremely well, which I feel is due in some part to my weight loss. I feel amazing, and for the first time ever I am actually looking forward to my doctor's appointments in Denver this coming August. The weight loss won't cure the disease, I know that. But it's certainly helping with many of the symptoms of the disease, and to me that makes the entire ordeal beyond worth going through.
But I digress.. This disease has killed four people that I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past three years, and just yesterday I learned of the death of another Sarkie brother. I just wanted to ask you to please send up a prayer, if you pray, for the family of my friend. Sarcoidosis doesn't get the press that cancer gets, so it's a misunderstood and mysterious disease and sometimes the only way to spread awareness is to talk about it. So I'm talking. Sarcoidosis is ugly, and scary, and I hate that it has taken another friend from me.
Okay.. I will try to check in from the beach!! If I don't, I'll catch you all when I get back! Thanks for the support, the prayers, and as always thanks for stopping by!
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I'm a day late to my blog this week with no excuse other than I'm getting ready to roll on out to sugar sands and celebrate life week starting tomorrow!
I had a doctor's appointment last week for what was to be my third fill. Weighed in, lost 8 pounds since two weeks earlier for my previous fill, saw the doc for five minutes and he said he was super happy with where I was. Sweet! No fill for me! He asked several questions about what I'd been eating and what was happening with restriction etc., and said that I was losing "tremendously", and that I was a "model patient for the lap band!" YAY me! I have been feeling the exact same things, but it's wonderful when your doctor concurs!
I'm down somewhere between 40 and 45 pounds! I. Am. Thrilled!!
I'm guessing I won't have much scale access over the next eleven days while I'm on vacation, so it should be interesting to see how well I do while I'm gone. I still have really good restriction right now, so my band will be working it's magic for me and hopefully I won't have to think about it much. I'll also be taking a vacation from the gym ~ but I'm hoping that walking the sandy beaches will partially make up for that.
On a mostly unrelated note: Many of you know that I have a disease called Sarcoidosis. I am under several doctor's care because of that disease, and am being watched like a hawk because of the medications that I'm taking to keep the disease at bay. I was recently taken off of those medications until my check up in August, and have been doing extremely well, which I feel is due in some part to my weight loss. I feel amazing, and for the first time ever I am actually looking forward to my doctor's appointments in Denver this coming August. The weight loss won't cure the disease, I know that. But it's certainly helping with many of the symptoms of the disease, and to me that makes the entire ordeal beyond worth going through.
But I digress.. This disease has killed four people that I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past three years, and just yesterday I learned of the death of another Sarkie brother. I just wanted to ask you to please send up a prayer, if you pray, for the family of my friend. Sarcoidosis doesn't get the press that cancer gets, so it's a misunderstood and mysterious disease and sometimes the only way to spread awareness is to talk about it. So I'm talking. Sarcoidosis is ugly, and scary, and I hate that it has taken another friend from me.
Okay.. I will try to check in from the beach!! If I don't, I'll catch you all when I get back! Thanks for the support, the prayers, and as always thanks for stopping by!
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It's been 9 weeks since my surgery! So many positive changes have taken place in my life in those short nine weeks and life is gooood!
In two days I will have my third fill. I feel like I'm in a fairly good place right now with eating.. but I'm not opposed to having a little more restriction and letting this band do it's thing! After this next fill I should be pretty tight when I am at the beach the following week! I think that will be a very good thing!
I weighed in at the gym this morning. I had set a goal three weeks ago to lose ten pounds this month, and at weigh-in I was down 8! I still have a week to drop those 2 pounds, and I'm pretty sure I will do it. Because I haven't really known exactly what to expect as far as weight loss, that goal was the first and only concrete one I've set for myself so far. It feels awesome to be on track to meet it~ and now I'm thinking that this is the best way for me to navigate my way through this journey.. very small goals and one at a time.
I had a chance to shop a little bit at TJ Maxx on Saturday. I found a pair of Levis that were sooo cute! I looked them over.. stuck them in my cart.. pulled them out.. looked them over again, and said "what the heck, I'll try them on" They were a junior size 15. I swore I wasn't going to buy anything new for quite awhile... knowing that I'd keep losing weight and inches, and they would be too big in time. But gosh they were cute.. and they were cheap. So... I tried them on, and they fit! Oh. My. GOD! I had to have them. So I bought them along with a couple of scarf/cover-up thingies that I can wear over my swimsuit at the beach. I wore the jeans to work today because... well, duh.. they're new, and I've gotta say it.. they look awesome! I hadn't even thought about how much fun it was going to be to slowly melt away. So let me say it now.. if you're thinking about having surgery, or are in the very first few weeks and you haven't thought about that either.. just know ~ it's SO MUCH FUN!! And I know it's going to just keep getting better!
I'm enjoying having enough energy to play with my grand kids! We had so much fun in the mountains at a Go Kart park over the weekend. Losing weight has given me energy and along with it more desire to play! I'm starting to remember how much fun being active can be. My health played a huge part (especially in the past 2 years) in me not being able to do as much as I used to. I've always loved to dance, but when you feel like crap it's hard to remember how much fun that is. Losing weight has already had a pretty big effect on my health, and I feel so good these days that I'm almost afraid to say it out loud!
Leaving for my beach trip in 9 days and yep, I'll say it again ~ Life is GOOD!
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Time flies when you're having fun they say! It's true! I have to say that this lap band journey has been a whole lot of fun so far. It's exciting to wake up in the morning and know that I probably weigh a little less than I did the day before. It's even more exciting to get dressed every day and spend a few minutes looking at the way my choice of clothes fit me differently than the last time I put them on! It wasn't all that long ago when I had the exact opposite problem. It was very depressing to get dressed each day and try not to think about the fact that my choice of clothing that day looked like crap because it was too tight, or didn't fit at all. I am so very grateful to watch the pendulum swinging the other way now. I look forward to every change, every pound lost, every piece of clothing tossed in the "too big" pile, and every comment about the way I look. I feel SO good!
I realized yesterday that I actually have a lap! Ridiculous you say? Well let me tell you, for a very long time I didn't even realize that there was a nice long space between my knees and my gut when I sat in a chair! It's true! But it's there, and I can see it and I like it! My stomach is definitely shrinking. All of my shirts show it, and now that I can see it going away I am more motivated than ever to keep working on it at the gym. Not so very long ago my stomach and my "girls" seemed to be reaching for some invisible finish line that was out in front of me somewhere. For the past few years they were tied it seems.. I bet I could have stuck a yard stick in front of me and they would have both touched it evenly!! But today I can happily say the gut has given up the race and retreated! Yeee Haww!
Still feeling good restriction from my last fill.. maybe a little less than last week, and I'm sure with the next fill I will be searching for food that keeps me very honest in my diet. For now I can still eat what I want albeit very slowly. I'm eating less than ever, but still.. carbs just aren't a great thing to put in my body and I know it. Another fill at this point would keep me from eating bread in any form I believe. I love and hate that all at the same time!
I'm going shopping this weekend for a swimsuit coverup that I can take to the beach with me. I should probably try on my swimming suit before I go now that I think about it.. I can't say I won't grin from ear to ear if it doesn't fit and I have to buy a new one! Two weeks from tomorrow and I'm Gulf Shores bound! I'm not worried in the least about overeating on vacation.. I was a month ago, but today I feel like I have a pretty solid handle on living with this band. It's the perfect tool for me and I'm having so much fun losing weight that I don't want to screw it up!
I'm not hungry between meals at all and this is a miracle! This doesn't mean that I don't want to snack if there is something right in front of me... but I don't walk around feeling hungry AT ALL. I love that! And as far as that snacking goes.. It's pretty easy to distract myself most of the time. If I crave something sweet I have a dum-dum sucker. Less than 20 calories, and it does the trick when I can't just walk away. But for the most part it truly isn't even an issue. I can't stand artificial sweeteners, so eating something sugar free isn't even an option for me. I'd rather starve.. seriously.
Huge thanks to my friend Lisa for handing down some jeans that fit! What a treat! You saved me girlie!
8 weeks.. happy... less fat... more sass... loving life!
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Seven weeks and one day... and I have ZERO regrets about making the decision to get my lap band!
I have been faithful about going to the gym and I'm already starting to see the payoff. Not in pounds on the scale mind you, but in the way I feel, and the way I look. I've lost a few pounds too, but I've decided that isn't nearly as much fun as losing these inches! My lap band and Curves work quite well together, and I'm so excited about that!
I had fill number 2 yesterday. I was quite pleasantly surprised that it was relatively painless compared to my first one. I was prepared to be far more brave this week.. I wasn't about to be called a pansy now! But it turns out that it wasn't necessary at all. About the only thing I felt was the quick stick of the needle. I asked Nurse Dot why it was so much better this time and she said "Because you're losing weight, and next time, it will be even better!" Apparently as the fat disappears from around the port it can do a better job of embedding. I just LOVE disappearing fat!
I have a good bit of restriction right now from the fill. (Restriction, for those of you unfamiliar with lapband speak is basically the ability to feel when you are eating too fast, or too much at a time. There is definite tightness and sometimes pain associated with restriction. The opening between the pouch that fills as you eat, and the rest of your stomach is smaller with each fill, and it's definitely possible to get too much restriction.. to the point that you truly can't eat much of anything without literally getting sick. The trick is to find the "sweet spot", and that's what we're looking for.) I will go back in two weeks for fill number three... exactly one week before I leave for the beach. I was pretty happy about that. I look forward to cooking and eating at the beach with my girls, but knowing I have my band as a "guardian" to keep me from over-doing it is sweet peace of mind!
Yesterday three people made comments to me about my weight loss. Exciting stuff to me.. it's fun to know that other people see it and it's not just me motivating myself with some wishful thinking! Hearing it from other people is super motivating to me and I love it! I need to remember that wearing clothes that allow people to actually see a change is helpful..(duh)... I've been hiding my body in huge sweatshirts for so long that I actually got used to wearing them even in the summer sometimes. I still find myself wanting to hide my stomach and arms.. even though both are shrinking.. and I have to say that this is one of the things I look forward to the most ~ not hiding anymore. I'm still a sweatshirt loving girl.. probably always will be, but wearing them to hide behind and wearing them because I'm chilly shall be two very different things!
I have to admit here.. I am a little worried that "my other butt" is going to be a lot flatter than it used to be! I don't know why I think that.. just a feeling. It may well just be an unfounded fear. But still, I'm working out each day with that in mind. If My Other Butt is FLAT I might scream. Just so you know. It didn't used to be flat. It used to be *rockin!* If i do say so myself.. but the "girls" used to be perky and a lot smaller too...
I promise not to be obsessed about it though.. so what if I have to wear a butt pusher upper...
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Week one at Curves = Fantastic! I feel so much better about what I'm doing now to help myself get to my goal! YAY me! It seems that the girls at my Curves have learned a lot about how to make the machines work their best magic on me! I remember the last time I joined Curves I would leave there feeling like I hadn't even worked out. I remember thinking.. "weird... I'm not even sore" every time! There was good reason for that.. I wasn't doing any of it right! But I'm here to tell you.. I'm sore! (Not heinously so though) and when I'm done every day, I feel like I've done something for ME!! Something fabulous!
I went on a short trip last weekend to see my Grandmas! I was a little nervous about how it all would play out for me.. seems like in the past my "little trips" always turned into diet sabotage! I don't know what it is about traveling that makes one want to eat, but it happens for me every time! So, knowing that about myself, coupled with the fact that I would have zero access to a scale for four days (gasp!) I spent a few moments in a state of curiosity about what might happen! I shouldn't have worried for a moment! Turns out when you have a lap band you don't really get any hungrier just because you're in a car driving across the sandhills! And having no scale access was a bonus! When I got home I had lost 3 pounds (and a few ounces) and that felt pretty amazing. It seems like I had more than my share of "stuck" episodes while I was gone though, and I'm not really sure why. Possibly because of the different foods I was eating.. fish, chicken and hamburger (unless they all have lots of sauce or marinade of some sort) all get stuck now since last week.... which brings me to my "fill" story.
So yes, last week the day before I left for my weekend journey I got my first fill. Okay.. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I didn't think there would be any pain. I"m here to tell you.. (please excuse my brief moment of oncoming sailor speak) THAT SHIT HURT!! I'm a pretty tough girl with a very high pain tolerance. Self proclaimed of course, but just ask my mom, she'll tell you! Maybe it was because I wasn't expecting any more pain than a blood draw type stick, I don't know, but it hurt a LOT! Before she injected into the port she pushed and prodded (I assume to be sure she was going to inject in the right spot, and to be sure the port was where it was supposed to be) and that may have been the worst part.. I had no idea I was still so sore internally from surgery... but how could I have known that since I don't go around pushing on the port site that way? At any rate, once she found it I felt some relief but the stick hurt too, and then she had to "tapdance" on top of the port for a bit before the needle would go where it was supposed to. The digging around, the pushing around and the stick itself made for some pretty unpleasant moments for me, but the good news it was all over within ten minutes and I now am the happy owner of 3cc of fluid in my lap band! Dot told me to come back for one more in two weeks. That was another surprise.. I didn't expect to go back for a month or so (based on other's stories) but I scheduled my next fill for June 1, and out the door I went, none the worse except for a little emotional scarring from the surprise of the pain you know?! Hahah! What a whiner I can be! I was assured that the next one wouldn't hurt as bad and I chose to believe that...
I've definitely got a little restriction with this fill. My new and improved slow eating habits need to be newer and a little more improved. I can only imagine what it will be like after another fill in 2 week... Dot told me that they have found for "most" of their lap band patients, the *sweet spot* is between 5 1/2 cc to 7 cc. How awesome would it be to find that sweet spot in 2 fills? Hey, a girl can hope!
So, six weeks out I am 30 pounds lighter, and I will be able to give you some inch calculations by the middle of next month when I get re-measured at Curves! My beach goal was to lose 10 more pounds by June 23rd, and enough inches that I'll be needing a new swim suit! My first 'goal jeans' are still fitting just fine at a size 16, and will hold me over for a few more inches, even if the butt does sag quite a bit by the end of the day. My son is getting married on August 5th and I'm kind of hoping for a dress that will look adorable and be a few sizes smaller.. again, a girl can hope! Time will tell...
30 days til beach time!!
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http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks and going strong for me and my lap band! I honestly don't have one single complaint about my band yet, and can't imagine having gone another day without it!
I have my first fill this coming Wednesday. I've gotten much advice to ponder about that little milestone, and I'm looking forward to seeing what changes it brings about. Hopefully nothing too drastic, because the next day I'll be leaving for a few days and won't be close enough to my doctor to run back in for help if it's too tight or something goes wrong. But I'm not anticipating anything negative, and I'm pretty excited to get "tightened up" as my brother so eloquently puts it! Seriously! He asked me when I go in to get tightened up the other day! It made me giggle!
I've made some strides this week in my lifestyle and I'm pretty happy about that. I re-joined Curves this week. I needed to have a more pleasurable work out experience, and I have known for a few weeks that this would be my next step. I love the 30 minute work out there, and the extra personal trainer support that I get. I haven't decided whether or not to keep my YMCA membership for the pool or not. I haven't been using it very faithfully, and it's going to be money down the tubes if I don't. Not sure what I'm waiting for there.. but I need to make a decision soon.
I am down 27 pounds and lots of inches in five weeks time. I have set a goal for 10 more pounds in the next five weeks which will put me right down to my beach trip. I'm hoping for more lost inches honestly, and I think that will be achieved regardless of what my stupid scale says. That scale makes me want to scream sometimes, but when it gives up a pound or two it redeems itself completely. Poor scale. I have to wonder sometimes if the verbal assault it gets doesn't make it actually mess with my head!!
I can't wear most of my jeans now.. except for the two pre-prednisone pairs that I saved. They're going to wear out quick if I don't get some new ones to tide me over! But I am going to stubbornly refuse to do so for three or four more weeks... a little bit closer to beach time! I've noticed that as far as inches go my arms are the most stubborn for giving them up. I see the biggest changes in my stomach and hips. Also my "girls" are not budging. Yes, I know some of you would be happy to take them off of my chest... literally!! And trust me, I'd be completely thrilled to give at least half of them to you! I wasn't always huge chested. They came along with the kids, and stuck around all these years. You'd think I'd be good friends with them by now, but not so much! If they don't reduce, I will be one funny looking chick when I do find my other butt!! But that's just my humble opinion I guess. Time will tell.. Everyone always says the "girls" are the first to go, but it's not true in my case.
I'm still craving steak, and meat in general, and not having many issues with any particular food. I still fill up quite quickly, and can only eat a fraction of what I used to eat. I have no problems yet with wanting to graze or eat between meals which I love! I've learned to make a meal last about 30 minutes which was previously unheard of for me!! I'm thinking the upcoming fill won't have to be much in order to improve the way the band is currently working, which seems to be beautifully thus far!
My apologies if my straight talk about the girls offends any of you guys who might be reading.. just one of those things I must discuss on this journey! Let me know if you'd appreciate a warning next time!
Thanks for stopping by!
http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
One month out from surgery today and I feel great! Seems like enough changes have taken place in the month for it to have been three months lol, but time has certainly flown by.
I weigh 24 pounds less, and in my mind, that's just not a lot considering that the first 17 came off in a matter of days. I moped about that for a few days, until I realized that my body has been busy shedding inches! I don't know about you, but I'll take inches over pounds any day. The photo at the top of this blog represents the volume difference in muscle and fat that are the exact same weight. It helped me to put it all into perspective!
As I said in a previous blog, I've been able to fit into saved pants that were way too small a month ago... and yesterday I got out the last pair of those "too small" jeans that I'd saved as my initial goal clothes and wore them to work! They were the very first pair of expensive jeans I'd bought for myself in my adult life, and I quickly outgrew them as the evil Prednisone piled on the pounds. The last time I tried them on I couldn't get them all the way UP, so needless to say, I'm a pretty happy camper today! When I look in the mirror I see much less belly than I did even a few days ago... not so much less butt, but I'm pretty excited to see less of anything. Size wise, the jeans I wore at surgery time were a 22. The pair I wore to work yesterday are 18! BIG HUGE SMILE!
I've experienced several "stuck" episodes with both tortillas and meat. I realized very quickly that this was due to eating that first bite too fast, and too big. I'm getting much better at eating slowly, and taken twice the time to eat than anyone I've eaten with in the past week. I crave protein. More specifically, I crave steak. This isn't a bad thing to crave I guess.. could get a little expensive though. I haven't drank a carbonated beverage since 2 days before my surgery. I can't say that I don't crave that Pepsi anymore, because at times I'd still love to feel that burn, but the feeling passes quickly, and I really don't struggle with being tempted to give in to it. It's more a fleeting thought, and it feels great not to have to fight off now that I think about it. I drink a lot of unsweetened ice tea and water.
I'm officially an exercise hater. If I ever get to the point where I can't WAIT to go to the gym I may just die of shock. I know, that if I can get a handle on my eating, I can certainly get a handle on exercise, and I have faith that it will happen.... one of these days. I am the queen of coming up with excuses. Perhaps I need an eliptical trainer or treadmill next to my bed... I do feel a little more motivated lately at the recent loss of inches, but I haven't noticed myself rushing off to the gym yet today!
All in all it's been a really awesome month for me. I'm shrinking!! My other butt is getting closer, oh yeah, I can feel it!
http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
I'm only writing today about a 'Non Scale Victory" that needs shared! It was such a fabulous way to begin my Friday, and I've been excited about it all dang day!
I got up, showered and was scrounging around for something to wear... sounds like a normal day for me for sure. It was supposed to be really nice weather today, and I definitely wanted to wear capri jeans. I have a few pairs that fit fine. I also have a drawer that has a few pairs that haven't fit for three years. I decided to torture myself just a little by pulling out my favorite pair of too small capris just so I could see how close I'm getting to wearing them. I needed some motivation. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, pulled them on... wait.... they went on.... all the way on... WOOT! I opened one eye and looked at myself in the mirror.. HOT DAMN! Okay.. they went on without any kind of struggle, but I was pretty sure they wouldn't button and zip. Much to my great joy, they buttoned, zipped, and when I finally let my breath out (I didn't realize I was still holding it until I let it go hehehe) they fit! THEY FIT!!
I bought those adorable Hydraulic capris three years ago right after I first got sick. Two weeks later I started taking prednisone and gained 60 pounds in 2 months time and they haven't fit since. I was very sad.. I love them, which is why I've kept them around all this time I guess. They sure are cute! And they looked great today if I do say so myself! I took those pants out the night before my surgery and decided that they were going to be my first goal. I wanted to be able to wear them when I went to the beach in June. I am absolutely overjoyed that they fit already! I can tell you with utmost certainty (even though I haven't weighed myself in several days) that I haven't lost those 60 prednisone pounds.. not even close. I haven't even lost 30 pounds yet, I know it. But I've lost a lot of inches somehow... and I almost needed to breathe into a paperbag this morning due to hyperventilation/over-excitement!!
Anyhoo, I had to share. I'm motivated~~ oh so motivated! Thank you for jumping for joy for me, because I know you are (mentally, right?) hehe!
Just writing about it tonight I'm all giddy again! GO ME!
Thanks for stopping by!
http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
I'm three weeks post-op today, and I think I'm getting the hang of it.. slowly, but surely!
I can say with utmost certainty today that I love my lap band.
At three weeks out I am down just a smidge over 22 pounds as of two days ago. The biggest bulk of that came off in the first week, so the rest has very slowly melted away. But today, when I look in the mirror, I can see changes! I thought it would take longer for that. I've also been hearing lots of comments from people who have noticed little things as well. Oh yes, I still have a long way to go to get to my other butt.. however, seeing small changes, and noticing a difference in my clothes is very motivational for me!
I've had some issues with food that have been purely psychological. For instance, when ordering food at a restaurant I still want to order a lot. My eyes are definitely still way bigger than my stomach. So this past week I've been working on that, and it feels good to get a grip on it. Today my mom and I shared a sandwich, and I could only eat half of my half. I'm learning that a huge part of my battle previously was mental. I have issues with needing to drink when I eat.. something I've been warned against.. but I just can't shake the desire to do it. It's what I'll probably be working on for quite awhile. I think before, I felt that if I washed the food down I could eat more. And truthfully that's probably what still drives my desire to drink at my meals, although the other thing I used to do is drink soda with my meals and that honestly DID produce the belches that always made a little more room for more food! I don't drink soda anymore, so it's a little different. I'm fully understanding how necessary it is to be psychologically sound before attempting to change your lifestyle the way mine has changed. So much of obesity is psychological, and I was never willing to look at it that way before.
I did get a lot of walking exercise this week, but not as much as I should have. I sucked at exercise this week actually. The gas pains are gone for the most part now.. and I really don't have a good excuse other than I'm tired. The weather promises to provide some excellent walking conditions through the rest of the week and into the weekend though, so I have big plans to do it! I NEED to swim. Tomorrow morning my plan is to swim for 45 minutes before work.
My doctor told me that my port site would hurt when I was losing weight. He said its because the port is in the muscle, and as that changes due to weight loss (or something probably a little more scientific but that's close) it would hurt. So now, whenever the port hurts (because it isn't every day) I get a big grin on my face and think to myself that I am losing.. and the scale seems to concur! That's just a little tidbit for those of you reading this who may have the same issue from time to time. Instead of saying "Crap that hurts!" I say "Hot damn I'm losing weight!" hehe.
I haven't weighed in two days.. I'm getting much better at waiting, and finding that it's much less disappointing when I don't step on that damn scale every single morning. Again.. a psychological thing. I will try to make it til Friday.. not promising anything! Until then.. I'm off in search of my other butt, and I know I'm getting closer!! Thanks for stopping by!
http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com
