I was beating myself up at first but now I am ok.
So last night I felt like I was sooo hungry, I had a protein drink and it did NOTHING. Then I just decided to go to bed. Well I woke up this morning and still I was hungry. Honestly I thought I could gnaw my arm off. So I made really runny SF oatmeal. I had 4 bites (sips really because it was so runny) then felt guilty. After that fourth bite I was really full and threw the rest out too.
Who would have thought that little amount would make me feel so bad. My hubby (which I love even more now) reminded my I have gone 4 weeks now on a liquid diet and should be proud that even though I "cheated" it was with something healthy and that I really watered it down so I didn't actually eat to much of it. Was more like drinking the flavor from it. (just incase you don't know. I was on 2 weeks ALL liquid diet before surgery and have to continue on it until 06/09, for a total of approximately 41 days)
So first I will say I learned my lesson and no more cheating. Felt way to guilty for such a little amount.
Second I have already planned my first couple of mushies and will make sure I have them in the house when that stage begins. Fill on 06/06 and I should be on mushies by 06/09.
mmmmmmm, looking forward to
mashed potatoes
Avocado
hummus
fruit in my protein drinks
steamed veggies (pureed of course)
Here is to a better day tomorrow.
~Kris
(Man I hate it when you think you hit post but it deletes instead, let's try this again)
Now on Day 5 of my post-op. Next doc appointment is set for this Thursday and back to work on Friday.
I woke up today to a great morning. I had lots of energy and was able to drink lots of water. Got my girl off to school and decided to run and see the hubby at work for a few minutes. He even commented about how I had my color back. Yah! So I decided to drive to the store and walk a little. That didn't last long because I got really tired. My hubby tells me I forget I am on an all liquid diet (and I mean ALL liquid) I have been on the all liquid diet since 4/28 and boy it's getting old. It isn't that I feel hungry I think I am past that stage it's just that I don't have enough energy since the surgery. Since the surgery I haven't been able to drink the protein drinks, I am hoping that after my appointment on Thursday I will get the ok to drink protein again.
I did something I didn't think I would need to quite this soon. I bagged up clothes that I can not fit anymore. I am not quite ready to go on a shopping spree but I think I am going to have to shop for a few things sooner than I thought.
Well that would be all the good going on in my life and the only bad I can think of is still being sore and of course the lack of energy after a while.
One last good thing. When the hubby got home I asked him if he would get on the Harley so I can climb up. I'm so freaking excited because i can actually put my hand between my leg and the saddle bags. I haven't felt great on his bike in 10+ years. My goal this summer is a weekend trip on the bike with the hubby. He even said it was alot easier with me getting on and off the bike. GOOD DAY!!! GOOD DAY!!!
Have a great one.
~Kris
“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” ~Unknown
I had my one week follow up with doctor last Thursday and everything looks well. Incisions look well I'm able to add the protein back in now so that makes me very happy. I will get my first fill on 6/6 doc said to set it up on a Monday incase I have issue and need a little removed. Happy for the advice.
Friday was my first day back to work and the first half of the day went well but by the end of the day I was very sore and tired. Unfortunately when I got home had to take the child to GS meeting.
I Did do something fun, that is I went shopping. I was going to put if off longer because I hope to drop weight consistenly but when I don't need to unbutton my pants to get them off and on I thought I should get a few things. I had to try on a few sizes before I found my "new" size. I was practically dancing in the dressing room. My hubby has joked with me that my clothes bill will be more than the surgery, lol.
I have noticed that my emotions have gone up and down since surgery. I hope this settles soon. I've read that a few people have had the same issue.
Today we went to a parade and I did well. Not to sore. Didn't touch any bad foods. Now relaxing with the family watching the all star race.
Have a great weekend all
~Kris
First of all I am sorry for not writing in over a week. I have no excuse.
Let's see what has been going on. I had my last phone appointment with the insurance nurse so I am happy about that. But I still have the appointments with the insurance nutritionist. As much as I hate the time it takes up they really do help.
I have been discourage this week because I have NOT lost any. But I have to admit I have not gained either. I know from reading so many other stories this is very common when you start eating again.
I also have discovered I do not have enough restriction yet either. It felt great for awhile but man I can't tell there is anything there right now. I have been able to stick with the low cals high protein and low carbs. I think upping the exercise will help.
To help with that I have found a local Curves and go in for orientation on Monday. I chose Monday because I have a free week coupon to try it out. They are closed on the weekend so I didn't want to start today. I was going to join a gym but I think I need the help of a team will I am working out. My understanding of Curves is that will help. I also found out they have Zumba classes at the same place on certain nights and I have always wanted to do that.
School is out for my daughter so we are trying to find things for her to do this summer. I think if I do Curves during the week and her and I go walking or hiking on the weekend it will keep us both busy.
I haven't had a huge struggle this week with what I have been eating but I have had a little struggle with stopping since I feel no restriction. I am just going to continue one day at a time and I also switched to a smaller plate and that is helping.
Well that is it for now. Nothing really to report.
~Kris
I started my day not to well. I really need to stay away from the scale. Some days down some the same. I know you should only weigh once a week but I think I went a little crazy.
Dropped the kid off daycare and headed to work. About two hours later I was walking past the nurses station and one of them yells "congratulations Kris" I turned around and asked what for. She said you look fantastic how much have you lost. I told them and they where super excited and said they haven't noticed because I always where clothes that are super baggy.
A reminder, nobody knows at work about the surgery but they know I have been working with a nutritionist. I told them I just need to get the exercise stuff down and one of them told me she is at the gym every morning and I could join her anytime. Maybe when the doc gives me the clear I will take her up on it.
I told them I just went out over the weekend and bought a couple shirts and stuff. They told me it was nice to see me in clothes that show off my body. ME!! A body to show off? I never would have thought. Then I thought Damn girl at the beginning of this you where a size 24 and the clothes I just bought are a size 18.
I can do this! I need to focus on how I feel not the scale. This has been a long 7 months (6 1/2 months dr and nutritionist before surgery).
I saw my Bff and her hubby over the weekend at the armed forces day parade and when we said good bye she was teasing me that I was going to waste away and her hubby even told me I was looking great (I hadn't seen him in awhile). That felt good. She is just starting her journey in to becoming a bander. She has 6 month program to do as well. I hope to get her on here.
I know I have rambled on but bottom line started bad with scale but ended great with "someone noticed".
I can do this......you can do this.....WE can do this.
~Kris
My date has been set for May 12th. I am very excited and yet very nervous. My last appointment is this Wednesday and part of me would like to do cartwheels and the other would like to go eat. Thursday the 28th will be the start of my two week liquid pre-op diet. I shouldn't be that scared since I have been on a 1000 calorie diet for a while now but just the thought of nothing but liquid is scary. I have found a local support group and I will get to go to my first meeting 2 days before surgery. I hope by finding outside support that will help me. I have alot of support at home but know I will need someone else that has gone through the same experience. I was very happy to find this sight and loved everyones comments to other Bander's questions. If anyone has helpful hints about pre op and post op I would welcome your comments/messages.
Here is a little info on my journey so far. I have been working with my insurance/provider for 7 months now. I have gone through the consults, seminars, EGD's, x-rays, ultrasounds, cardio/pulmonary, labs (10 viles why do they need so much blood), nutrition classes, 1000 cal diet, psych evals.... what am I forgetting..... oh pre op class with instructions on the 2 week pre op diet and the diet to follow after.
Along the way in this journey I was able to loose 20lbs. As I was loosing this weight I thought to myself maybe I can do this alone and don't need the band. I soon realized I definitely need the support the bad will give me. I know I can survive on low cals I am now hoping the band will help me from feeling so hungry all the time and wanting to eat more. I hope this becomes the Tool I was missing the whole time.
Welcome to the New Beginning of my journey.........more to come.
I really wish people would stop asking "How much have you lost" I'm talking about the people who know I have had surgery. There are only 3 people I have told that don't ask me all the time. The other family members that do know are always asking me.
I finally went off on my mom and told her that I don't care about the weight I care about how I feel right now. I'm only 2 weeks 2 days post op. I am trying to NOT focus on the weight.
Does anyone have and special/nice ways to tell people to lay off?!?
~Kris
I thought I better get my shopping for the liquid diet done well before I start. Since that is this Thursday today is better than any day. I just started to write my list and I thought "Crap, this is it" (I am open to anyone telling me there favorites and what I should get)
SF Popsicles
SF Jell-o
SF juices
Diet V8Splash
Broth
Tomato juice
Protein
and of course vitamins
I have been taking all the vitamins for the past 3 days. Wow! Never knew you needed so much. But it is suppose to help so I will take them all. My hubby and daughter are both helping me and we are on the hunt for a weekly pill holder to make it easier. we have also talked it over and rather than get in a bad mood sitting at the table with them for dinners starting Thursday I am going to make that my walking time. We are a big sit together for dinner family but they understand it will take me awhile to be ok around all the food. The past couple of months that have been working with the insurance company we have already made changes to the food we keep in the house. My husband has already lost 10-15 lbs. My daughter, who does not need to loose weight,loves the changes.
Does anyone have good tips on including kids in the process?
Well, I am off to get some work done and will check in later. I hope this blog helps me keep on track.
Today I have my last appointment before the surgery and tomorrow is "L" Day. There where a few times over the past 2 days where all I wanted to do was EAT what I thought I would never be able to eat again. The funny thing was when I gave in and did eat I felt SO guilty. I have worked hard over the past year to prepare and stick with the 6 month program from the insurance and Dr. I guess that was a good bump in the road. I know that now I can look at something and go "nah" Okay I say that now but I know in a few weeks I will be typing someone to send me chocolate!!!! At least I have it in writing that it wasn't worth it.
Good luck to all today.... I will let you know how the last visit goes. TWO WEEKS BABY!! I CAN DO THIS!!
My weight is still holding. I have started going to curves and have been feeling great. I just hope that my next fill can get me past this hump.
Looking forward to Onederland. Still the same few pounds away.
~Kris
The last visit with the surgeon went well. I had to sign all the paperwork and he went over everything with me again. I love the fact that he is a straight forward doc he isn't really "Nicey nice" he tells you like it is and what to expect. I brought up this forum and he thought it was a great tool. He said you need people who understand and have gone through it. My hubby didn't get to go with me to this visit (someone had to pick up the child from school) so he had a lot of questions but lucky me I came home with a copy of everything I signed so he read that first and said well I guess that answers all my questions.
Yesterday was the 1st day of my liquid diet and other than feeling extremely tired at the end of the day it went well. I have heard it is day 3-4 that you really struggle so I am preparing for that. I ordered a bunch of protein samples and they came in the mail yesterday so I will have variety the next 2 weeks. So far the Nectar brand is my favorite. I have a limited amount of protein I can try because on top of everything I am lactose intolerant. I might try some of the soy protein too but they seem high calorie. I guess I'll need to do more research on that.
Oh, I love my hubby and daughter. He was off work yesterday so he pick her up from school and got her homework done and dinner done before I made it home from work. He made his famous fried chicken. I am so glad they where done before I got home. I know I tell him I have to get use to food being around and they have to eat. But I love the fact he is thinking of me and how that would have made me feel.
Today is day two. I woke up feeling great. I think a little from getting so much sleep because I was so tired yesterday. So I hope today goes well.
Hope everyone has a great day.
~Kris
I have a questions for all. Did your sleeping habits start to change with the pre-op liquid diet? Both Thursday and Friday when I came home I was ready for bed. I am usually a stay up late person. Never to bed early. But 830 and I was in bed Thursday and Friday I don't know what time because i feel asleep on the couch. Now I will admit when I wake up between 5-6am I feel so rested and like I could run a marathon. (I said like )
Today is only Day 3 and I am still doing ok. My daughter and I went to see her Dad at work then walked the mall and window shopped. Then on the way home we stopped at the grocery store and got a few things they needed for meals. I was surprised I didn't grab everything off the shelf. Although when we turned to go down one isle I told her I couldn't and we skipped it. (Happened to be the isle with snacks and chocolate and candy oh my)
I did have a good laugh Wednesday and forgot to share. I should have read more of the post about warming protein because I put HOT water in it and it curdled. Never knew it would do that. I sure know it now. I had to laugh but I was really looking forward to trying the sample I bought. Darn.
Well I am ready as I can be for tomorrow, the terrible day 4, I've heard that is the worst?
Talk more later.
~Kris
So day 4 wasn't as bad as I've read. Although I did get a surprise. I don't know why I never thought about it before but I was to focused I guess. My 10 year old daughter asked my why and what exactly am I getting done. I felt so bad because with all the research and discussions my husband and I have had I didn't include her in what was happening and why.
So I pondered for a minute and said you know what I am sorry I didn't explain this sooner and I should have it's not a secret I was trying to keep from you. So I explained what would happen with the surgery and how I would be feeling when I get home. Then I asked her if she understood why I was doing it. She said ya to loose weight.
I backed her up and said yes that is one reason but not the top reason. First loosing the weight would help me be healthier and essentially live longer because I am living a healthier lifestyle. Second I want to be able to do things other parents do with their kids. Like sports or hiking or getting on a ride at the park and not be afraid. And yes I do want to look good for myself.
She said she understood and she would help me after surgery to get walking and not just sit there. Also she said she would help when I got back to the eating stage with picking things to eat. I have to admit that even though I have been a yo-yo dieter my daughter has always been a veggie and meat person. Candy is low on her list of what she would ask for and she hates soda. I know that will change but with me changing I can help her choose healthy when she hits the teenage years. Also show her a different outlet than food if she is bored, stressed, sad, happy or mad.
How did everyone else do with talking to their kids?
~Kris
As I sit here this morning drinking my protein I thought I would review yesterday (Day 5) as I am surprised I made it through the day with out cheating.
Things where going well drank my water had some protein went to work came home for lunch (I don't live far from work and it makes the liquid stage so much easier to come home) Well I had some broth and another protein. I was getting my water bottle ready and I heard my stomach. I think the whole block could here my stomach then oh my god (Sorry tmi coming) I had to run like I never ran before to the rest room. Finally thought I was feeling better and went to let my dog back in then once again the whole block heard my tummy roar. Back to the potty I go.
Finally made it back to work but all I could think of was I want crackers. Someone give me crackers. The only person at work that knows what is going on is my boss I have not told anyone else because I've heard how they reacted to others getting the procedure. And if they talk like that to me, well lets just say I don't want to get fired by putting them in there place. I made it through the work day but was glad my office is close to the bathroom.
When I got home I couldn't drink my last protein or my broth for dinner. I just didn't want to look at food (even liquid form).
Has anyone else had this problem with their liquid diet. There are two factors I can think of. I know to much SF stuff can give you diarrhea. So it could be that. I am going to start alternating my crystal light drinks with a bottle of water hoping that will help. OR I have been trying new (sample) protein drinks. I try my best to find the whey isolate as I am lactose intolerant and all the research I've done says that is the easiest to digest for that reason.
Well now I am on to Day 6, Hope today goes better.
~Kris
I had another fill on Monday and I can really feel the restriction right now. More so than the last time. I hope this one helps longer than the last. Curves is going well. I thought about do something more vigorous but I know me I tend to go hard at things and burn out. So instead I have mad a commitment to curves first and after a few months I will add more. Curves is easy to commit to right now because it is only 1 mile from work. I have NO excuse (except last friday my car died) not to go. Even if I have to pick up the kid she can read a book while I am working out.
I am having a little bit of trouble with stress the past few days. Work is stressing me and some family issues are stressing me. Honestly all I want to do is eat a bad of chips. Nice crunchy chips. Thankfully I had a fill because I can't have any of that stuff now even if I tried. I just keep telling myself that I CAN make it through.
How does everyone else handle the stress?
Keep the smiles up.
~Kris
Things are still going... Fine I guess... today was a little hard at work since they where having a Cinco De Mayo party in the break room during lunches. I didn't stick around, I decided to go home. Oh ya, the hubby was off today and has a meeting tomorrow and he thought he would smoke a pork shoulder to take for everyone. I came home and the yard/house smelled so good with it smoking in the back yard. So this is how I am feeling right now. +
On top of everything I was seriously craving a cup of coffee and caffeine was on of the things I had to give up too.
The hubby and kid are having breakfast for dinner (one of my fav's) so I excused myself and came in to write/read a little.
I guess 2 bad days out of 8 on a straight liquid diet isn't that bad.
Here is hoping the 12th gets here soon.
~Kris
The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination; it is essentially a part of it. ~Charles DeLint
The end of day 11 and all is well. I am getting very excited about Thursday. A little scared but mainly excited .
Let's see what has happened the last couple days? Friday work as normal. I tried to keep busy yesterday, went to ikea and shopped for hours with the bff and my daughter. Had lots off fun but it was really hard come lunch time when they had yummy food and I waited until we got back to the car and had my protein. Man I was tired by the time we got home.
Today was errands and doing my daughters hair. I did get flowers and a card (very sweet) from the hubby and child.
Well I hope the next three days go by really fast.
Nothing really to report, which I think is a good thing.
Have a great week everyone.
~Kris
Are you kidding me? First my internet is down then I finally type out my post and when I click publish it disappears. Man hope this is not the start of another great day.
Ok to the fill. It went well other than the doctor running late, which is unusual for him. When I finally got back there we talked alittle then I lied down and he found my port prepped the skin and gave me a mosquito bit shot to numb me. After it took affect he went in with the bigger needle. I have to admit it looked a little scary but other than the pressure he had to put on me to get it in the port I didn't feel anything. I ended up with 4cc in my 10cc band. On my way to athe sweet spot. I didn't know I would have to stick around after the fill for so long. I was almost late picking up the child (doctor office is 45-60 minutes away depending on traffic) But they keep you around the office untilyou have had 3 cups of water. That way if you need a defill it can be done right away. He doesn't like you to go home and throw up and aggravate your stomach.
I go back on July 11 for another fill and I will go back every month for the first year until I get in the sweet spot. Then it will differ after that. I actually like the idea of every month because it makes me accountable since I will have to weigh in with him every month.
Last night was my first real food in over a month and it was yummy. I had copper river salmon and that is it I was full after that so nothing else. I fear the being to full and having to throw up. blah anything I can do to not do that and I will.
Ok I really have to run or be late for work.
Have a great day,
~Kris
man I hope this one post I don't have time for another.
So tonight I went to my first support group meeting. They meet once a month and it's focused on Banders. I was very happy to find a group. I felt a little shy to begin with as group things have never been my thing. I just know I will need the support and thought I would reach out to not only my internet Banders but to ones I can see.
It was nice. I guess it was smaller than usual (nice day out kept some away, i think) which was better for me. Everyone went around the room saying who they are how much they have lost and a little bit about there journey. I had to chuckle at this, it felt very strange.
When it came to one gentlemen he introduced himself and so on then said he is a "closet bander". He has told family and select friends but no coworkers. Once it got to me I told him that it was great to meet someone else who decided not to tell co workers and I asked how he was able to do it for 2 years. He told me he didn't lie about his weight loss (no carbs, smaller portions, high protein, and exercise) he just left out the last important tool of the band. I love it and now I have my new title "The Closet Bander"
There was also another person there that is going to be having the procedure done by the same Doctor as I am so that was nice to meet her. I should say that I live about 45-60 minutes away from my surgeon's office. The support group is local for me about 15-20 minutes away. She is at the beginning of per op stuff.
Well, tomorrow is the last day before surgery. I think the only thing I am really nervous about is the nausea from anesthesia. I HATE getting sick. I think I will make it through the next stage of liquids since I made it through 2 weeks without killing someone.
Well I hope I can sleep the next 2 nights. The time is almost here.
~Kris
"The key to change... is to let go of fear"
OK. First I have to say I am so happy this morning. Even though it is not my official weigh in day I have been doing well so I hoped on the scale. Finally 199. I haven't seen a 1 in the front of my weight in years. Yah!!!!!
Now on to the stuck issue. We had a lunch at work and I usually never stay but it was baked chicken and I thought ok I can handle this. A few bites and I'll just sit and talk. Well the first bit was a little dry but I chewed chewed chewed. I should have stop the second bite was just as bad and even though I chewed like crazy it got stuck. It got stuck to bad I got the shakes started to sweat and had to go get sick. Still felt bad after getting sick 4 times so I went home (I live really close to work) for the rest of lunch and my great daughter sat on the couch with me and hit my back like burping a baby. About 20 minutes later I was feeling fine. Did liquids and softs again after that but feeling better now.
I have come to conclusion if I don't make it and the hubby don't make it then I don't eat it. At least when it somes to meat stuff.
Oh to my previous note. Yes no more chips I like are in the house anymore. This way even if I want them I would have to go to the store to get them and by the time I got there I would have come to my senses. (I have not done this....yet, will power still strong)
Have a great day all. I know I will. Woot Woot. 1-9-9 Woot Woot 1-9-9Woot Woot
So my fill was Monday I FINALLY after 40 days on a liquid diet got eat with the family. I have not had any stuck or over eating episodes with food yet. Yah me! But I was getting all my vitamins ready yesterday morning and without even thinking I popped my 2 rx's in my mouth and swallowed. They are small enough I don't need water with them but I forgot to crush them. I have a feeling of a bone stuck in my throat for about 1/2 an hour before it went away. I have learned to chop them up every time. Man what a pill I mean pain
Other than that things are going well. I'll see on Monday if I lost or gained after getting back on food. I still hop on and off the scale all the time but I will NOT write the number down unless it is Monday morning. I will go insane if I write it every time I get off and on the scale. Cool thing about my scale is that it remembers my last Monday weigh in then will tell me exactly how much I lost in the week. It seems to be about 1-2 lbs off the doc scale so I can live with that.
Have a great one.
~Kris
I just wanted to say Great job to all for....... Sticking in there, not giving up, getting back on track and being great inspiration.
I go in tomorrow morning to be officially banded. Check in at 7 surgery at 10. Hope to be home tomorrow but the doc said it all depends on how I do.
Happy thoughts and hopefully good dreams tonight and tomorrow. I am one of those strange people that even under anesthetics I dream.
Good night all. Talk again soon.
~Kris
Well the surgery was later than originally planned so I am staying the night. I think it was good because the hubby looked freaked out a little. It was cute. I woke up very nauseated. Bad! But I'm better now. I am walking drinking and sleeping. I have been stuck7 times for an iv. They had to break out the ultrasound to get and even that one took two pokes.
Well off to bed now. I just wanted to say i made it.
~kris
Well last night my niece graduated. Before the graduation we had dinner at my sister in-laws house. They ordered pizza for dinner which even before the surgery I couldn't have because I can't eat dairy. But my Mother in-law was so nice and showed up with a fillet of smoked salmon for me. YUMMY!!
The hard thing about the visit was everyone looked at my plate and kept saying is that all you are going to eat? What a pain. Also I wouldn't eat dessert and I was asked a few times are you sure you don't want 1 bite. I politely said no thanks. But I love my hubby, he would walk up to me and whisper you are doing awesome.
A little family history: My mother in-law had gastric bypass in Dec 2000 (yes I have the month and year memorized because I had my daughter at the same time and took care of them both) She looks great she bottomed out at 115 I think and is back up to 140 I believe which I think looks awesome on her. My sister in-law was set to get a bypass 2 years ago but because of medication she is on could not get it done until she is off it for 6 months. (prednisone and one other doesn't work well with any surgery). My sister in-law has told me she is jealous that I had a band and she hasn't been able to get hers yet but I am tired of feeling guilty about it.
Other than a few foodie issues last night was great!
Congrats to my niece love her lots.
~Kris
(oh, only a few lbs away from wonderland.... I can't wait)
