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Truthful.....to a fault.

Entries in this blog

 

Is my waist getting smaller, or is my booty getting bigger?

Is the glass half empty or 1/2 full.....do I continue to dig through the pile of manure to see if there's a pony underneath? Your mind is a battlefield and winning the physical battle is not only physical, but mental too!   I look at the total amount that I need to lose to be a healthy BMI and the number is menacing. 168 lbs to lose total....that is the same as losing one, whole overweight adult. I can look at the amount that I have to lose, or I can look at the amount in terms of weeks. If I lose, on average, 2 lbs per week, it will take me 20 months to lose all of the weight that I need to lose. It took me many years to put it on, so losing in 20 months would be AWESOME! I can even, more realistically look at 24 months to lose, plateau's and such, and that really is pretty reasonable too.   I was banded 3/1/11 and have had 2 fills: 3/30/11 - 1.6 cc and 4/18/11 - 1 cc. I am 21 lbs down since surgery and am very concious about my calories consumed. I guess the answer is that my waist is getting smaller...so is my booty....FYI!   My dad always said..."The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time." This weight loss is like eating an elephant......so.....Grab me a fork and some BBQ sauce.    
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Chaos breeds success...WHO KNEW?

This week has been, to say the least, chaotic. It was a very stressfull week at work and a crazy weekend of watching children (4 between the ages of 15 months to 7 years)....while I do not have any of my own! My normal reaction to chaos and stress is to eat.....eat anything and everything...lots and lots of sugar. This time, I was in control. I didn't eat as well as I normally do, but I didn't eat as poorly as I have in the past. I was expecting a gain or maintain when I stepped on the scale this morning and.....low and behold.....a 7 lb loss!     I worked really hard to eat combinations of food that yeild balanced blood sugar....lots of protein and good fat and lower carb combinations. Now, I did have my indulgences (I watched children this weekend....they like mac and cheese and ice-cream....I had to try a little! I think this played the biggest part in balancing my blood sugar (I tend to lean to the hypoglycemic side of things) and helping to keep my hunger under control. I also am using an online calorie and nutrient tracker through my iPhone....a huge help. I try to keep my calories between 1000 to 1200 every day, and am successful MOST days.   I am 32 lbs down since my surgery on 3/1/2011! This is right on track, a little ahead, of where I was planning to be! The next goal is to get under 270 lbs.....13 more lbs to go!
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When Margaritas and Mojitos attack!

YES....they attacked me! Believe it!   I only weigh in when I go to my doctor, which is ever 2-4 weeks. I have only been banded a little over a month, so I am still trying to guage how this will work for me and the amount that I can expect to lose. I went in for my first fill and my total loss since banding was ONLY 10 lbs! I knew what was to blame.....it wasn't my effort....my eating.....my band....it was a margarita and a mojito.   I decided to go out to dinner the night before my appointment to celebrate with a friend. I am not a bi drinker, but I will have drinks on occasion and this time, I wasn't thinking very clearly. I know that alcohol makes me retain water like CRAZY! BAD IDEA....really bad idea.   According to my Endocrinologist, I had lost 20 lbs since January. According to my at home scale, I had lost 25 lbs from my heaviest, so to see a 10 lb loss was deflating to my ego. Any other time, I would have been beside myself to lose 10 lbs in 4 weeks, but I just expected more. WHY IS THAT STUPID NUMBER SO IMPORTANT TO US? My clothes fit better. Everyone I know says I look like I have lost weight, but it's the scale's opinion I trust....WHY?   I have another fill on 4/18/2010.....we'll see what happen then. No more margaritas or mojitos....for a really long time!   MORAL OF THE STORY.........Don't drink and weigh-in.
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It's time to meet the wizard: Hidden imperfections of the "Perfect Specimen of Everything"

A little preface to this blog entry.......I have to post something I wrote back in January. To understand where I'm going, you have to understand where I've been. I have been labeled, by my friends and family, as the "Perfect specimen of everything". They all joke about how I can do everything really well. I'm a Chemical injection pump applications engineer, graduated from Texas A &M with a degree in Industrial Distribution Engineering, play piano, sing, cook, super mechanically minded, volunteer with 4 year olds, lead a young single ladies small group, am starting school to get my estiticans license to become a makeup artist....I can do it all and I have an AWESOME support system in my friends and family. Weight...it's the one thing that I haven't been able to do...ever!   Jan 2 2011   Pay no attention to the fact that it is January 2 of yet another year that I am going to try to get healthy. I started writing this in a journal that I had started back in Feb 2006. Let’s keep this imperfection between us…I wouldn’t want my friends and family to really know how imperfect I am, but I am letting you pull back the proverbial “curtain” and see me for who I really am. I weigh 327.4 lbs and am 5’4” tall. Yeah, let’s not even bring up my BMI. I’ll give you a hint, MORBIDLY OBESE……MORBID….that means death. This weight may kill me. That, in itself, should be enough to make me change my eating habits, but this is a struggle I can’t overcome…….at least, not alone.   Today, in church, the preacher (a guest preacher, so I don’t know his name) spoke about faith. He told the story about the paralytic man brought to Jesus by his friends. They had faith….the friends and the paralyzed man, had faith that Jesus could heal this man. The preacher talked about the woman plagued by bleeding for 12 years and how her faith brought her to touch the cloak of Jesus. This healed her, not because of Jesus’ magical cloak, but because they had faith that GOD could heal her when numerous others had tried and failed.   I’m not saying that I don’t believe that God can heal me of my eating problems, I’m saying that maybe that is somewhere that I haven’t been placing my faith. I have had faith to pray for my doctors. I have prayed that God would give them the wisdom to figure out the problem with my Pituitary tumor, my borderline low growth hormone levels, and my other PCOS related issues. I have been praying that I could find a disease or a problem to blame my weight and health problems on, instead of praying and having the faith it takes to ask GOD to take the problems away, altogether. GOD is the ultimate healer!   I have always struggled with my weight and eating. I was 180 lbs in the 6th grade. Weight has fluctuated throughout life, but I was around 200 lbs near the end of college. Do the math and you’ll find that I have gained 127 lbs in the past 8.5 years. THAT’S INSANE. It has to stop. It stops now. I’m not looking at a number, I’m looking at a lifestyle and a quality of life that I want back.   GOAL #1: Multipart goal – get under 300 lbs by controlling portions. Get my weight down so that the back pain goes away.    
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Honesty is the best policy!

I attended my initial lap band seminar in September. I was very angry with my boss for the insurance plan that we have...he eliminated weight loss surgery from the BCBS cafeteria plan. I was stuck with self pay, so I contemplated surgery for 3 more months....it was $10K, out of pocket! I eventually decided, at the end of January 2011, to proceed with surgery.   Surgery was set for March 1, 2011 and I was excited....just excited, not scared.....READY! My doctor, Dr. Wilkenfeld in Conroe/The Woodlands, TX had a wonderful 3 hour pre-op seminar about eating, medications, exercise...everything to know before and after surgery. I also attended a 2 hour post op seminar about food and nutrition. There are monthly seminars about everything from diferent types of exercise, information from dieticians, plastic surgery...I attend my first one this weekend!   My doctor performs this surgery as an outpatient procedure, so ther was no overnight stay for me. I went home after the surgery feeling like I had been hit by a truck. For 4 days, I thought "What have I done to myself? This was a horrible decision." I had problems with nasuea from the liquid vicodin....as soon as I switched from that to Children's Tylenol, I felt much better! I had surgery on Tuesday and was out of the house on Friday! I took it easy through the weekend and was able to return to work on Monday (yoga pants and no underwire until Thursday)....luckily, I didn't have to go see any customers! By Thursday, I was back to almost normal and had my first post op appointment.   I was down 8 lbs in 10 days...not too bad! I haven't weighed again since then, so I don't know where I am 23 days out, but I am in pants that I wasn't able to button pre surgery. I only weigh when I go to my doctor's office. Next appointment and first fill is 3/30/2011....I'll have my weight update and the real truth after the first fill!   I have some restriction, but I am pretty hungry 2-3 hours after eating. I have had a few problems with eating too much, but PB (productive burping) helped and I haven't made that mistake in a while. There was ALOT of gas pain for the first week....this was the most painful part of the surgery. I have more gas issues now than I did before, but I DID have major surgery to my digestive tract, so that is to be expected. It gets better every day.
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I think I got the LOW-DOWN (do people even use that term anymore?)

That was my attempt at bonding with the misguided youth of today.....probably a botched effort, but an effort none the less!   I attended an educational seminar on Saturday at my surgeon's office. I am going to attempt to re-state what I learned. Keep in mind, I am an industrial applications specialist, not a doctor or a dietician.........I just like to share learned information.   I was not aware that the average female body is designed to absorb no more than 45 grams of carbs and 27 grams of protein per 4 hour period. This was amazing news to me because I always thought that more protein was better, and it didn't matter when you got it all in, just that you got it in. I was also under the impression that carbs are bad........THIS IS NOT THE CASE.   Carbs fuel our muscles. Protein repairs and rebuilds our body and muscles. Excessive carbs turn to sugar in the blood stream, and will sit there and circulate as sugar in your blood stream until you work them out through time or more quickly through workouts. Excessive protein can be bad for your kidneys. Protein after a workout is necessary, but excessive protein consistantly can become a kidney problem.   ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MORE GREAT NEWS?   On average, there are 7 grams of protein in a 1 oz serving of meat. Women should be getting 3.5 oz (approx 27 g) per meal....what does that say about a 10 oz steak? TOO MUCH? YEAH! On average, there are 15g of carbs in a serving of pasta (1/2 cup) or 1/2 of a piece of fruit (apple, banana, pear). We need 3, 15G servings of carbs in a 4 hour period.....how much do you think is in that tortilla, or that Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie?   This all can change if you have an active lifestyle or with workouts, or if you are lucky enough to be a man.   I learned more, including stress management techniques from a clinical psychologist, but these are the main points that I thought I needed to share! WEIGH-IN in 2 more days! I'll finally know how much has been lost in my 1 month after surgery!    
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