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Llama

I am now a llama,   I spit when I get stuck and I get stuck 3-4 times a week. I eat mushies, like i am a toddler. I don't eat in front of people due to getting stuck and having to vomit. I make the most unhuman sounds when I am stuck. I miss chicken. I dislike eating at all anymore. I find myself drinking, protien shakes, water, and taking my vitamns.   No one ever told me I was going to be a llama or a bulimic, I feel that way, no one ever told me before surgery that I would barf so often, and I HATE to barf, but for me it has to come up. I exercise, I do all I was told to and still I have issues, I wish I had known about this board before surgery and would have been able to ask people but I didn't, and I asked my doctor, DR MUPPETMAN is what I call him now. I am sad, and no one seems to get it...     jeepy
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

6
 

my doctor is stupid

So I go to my doctor im stuck at 70 pds, wont move, he asks what Im eating, heart burn, throwing up..etc..I tell him..he looks at me and says.."drop your calories to 600-700 a day, that should move you?".... i thought he was joking, 500 is starvation!!!!       So I clearified, he repeats said stupid statement, and im eating maybe 900-1000 a day if that, I work out 2 times a day everyday.... spin class to the gym to swimming and my hair is falling out in clumps....great!!!!       i hate my doctor
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

6
 

3 months banded....

I decided to get banded as we all have I needed to get in control of my weight, I am 5'11 and I was 265 pds, and although I didn't or would not qualify for surgery, I still had it done, my doctor I thought was a SAINT and now I am realizing I dislike this saint so much, I wanted someone to offer to help me and so far I have lost 42 pounds, but at what cost!!!!   I throw up all the time, when I went to see him for my first fill I was 100% honest in telling him I was mad, I threw up all the time, almost every meal and what was I doing wrong?? He told me I was not chewing well enough and so I let him fill me 5CC, I now know this was a mistake, I feel like my doctor should be on my side and instead he is working against me, and there are days I don't eat solids due to being afraid of throwing up, my friends who know are supportive and my family is as well, but now everyone is thinking, you can;t even do this right?? WHY because I am thinking it!!!!   I am so sorry I got banded, I am sorry I caved and I am so sorry I let my thyroid doctor talk me into this other doctor who I thought was going to help me.........   I am not quiting, infact it's making me work harder and I am going to do this, I am taking spin classes 3 times a week and I love it, I am trying to work through this.....
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

5
 

A Date???

I am freaking out some, I have been talking to this guy, not a wl person, someone who is adorable, in shape was big as a kid but has been in shape since his early 20's, and he wants to meet... He has seen a picture, and although we seem so alike I am scared, I have not had a date in a year, it's been all about me, work, school, surgery, the gym..... There are a few things I am not crazy about, 1) he is younger, and 2) he has kids, 3 of them from 2 babies mama's.....   Help???
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

4
 

work

Nice to know people notice, 65 pds gone, my clothes are baggy, i dyed my hair back to brown, and I know I should be happy but I still have issues eating, I work out every day, one day off, swim 60-70 laps in the am, either spin class at night or the gym, and yet the scale has stopped, for 3 weeks now.....   Co workers have noticed, due to clothes that fit better but its so annoying the hard work, the way i am dedicated and not a pound is leaving the scale.................
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

4
 

exercise

Weird.... I know I am doing it right kind of...   Have always had issues with throwing up, slimming, that feeling...it stinks..so I fixed that I don't eat solids really, my doctor in my head is not there to support me, so meanwhile I am drinking my protein , eating my protein as In shakes... and some mashies.....   I have kicked up my exercise to the next level and nothing, laps in the pool in the AM before work, up to 60 ( up and back is one).... and than work, after work the gym, from 35-45 mins, and I alternate the bike to the treadmill to the arc climber, and than 2-3 times a week I do spin class, infact some days I think "I have not eaten enough"...   Im getting really mad and annoyed, all this hard work and still the scale has stopped and yet I am exercising like this 6 days a week one day off...   I cant even do this right........................
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

2
 

Easter dinner

I don't know why I listen, at my age, why do I feel badly....UGGHH!!!!   I work in a hospital, today was my weekend on, so I get to work 2:30-11:30pm, no big deal, not like I can eat dinner, I had a fill on friday I am on liquids till tomorrow and I think I may be on liquids till sometime this week I feel tight...   I go to my parents house, my sister is there with the kids,( I adore my nephews) and we do the easter egg hunt, and we are getting dinner ready, now we all sit down to eat BUT NOT ME!!!!! I have a 1/2 cup of broth, cause thats what I can eat...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!!!! I had the chance to work a double making killer $$$$ and I passed it up to watch the family eat, and sip my broth, something is wrong with me, ohhh and listen to my brother in law WHO I DISLIKE greatly ( he talks down to my sister, and trys with me but I put him in his place) how he lost 3 pds this week, and he dosent need WLS, I finally got up, kissed who I love and walked out....I can only take so much.....   Maybe 4th of july will be better....LOL
jeepygurl

jeepygurl

1
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