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My Journey through Lap-Band Land

Entries in this blog

 

I have hope again.....

I haven't had a response to the email I sent to my surgeon, nor the messages I've sent online (on his website), but that's probably because of the holidays. He probably is trying to catch up on everything, just like I am here at work!   But I did call and speak with the office manager, and I have an appointment to see a different psychiatrist in my surgeon's office on 01-15-07.   I'm very glad of it. I have hope again that I can have this surgery.   I'm also very glad and VERY proud of the fact that I didn't cave and smoke a cigarette!!!! Today makes 35 days smoke-free, and I am feeling better today than I ever have since I've quit smoking.   Wow. I can actually say it now. I've QUIT SMOKING. After 22 years of smoking, I have quit!   I've also gained a lot of weight since I quit. Now that I'm feeling more like my old self -- instead of always being edgy and gritchy and irritable -- I'll be able to focus on losing these extra pounds I've gained.   Thank you, everyone, for your comments and support. It means a lot to me.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

The best laid plans.....

Well, Hell. I didn't get on the treadmill yesterday AT ALL, as I had planned. In fact, I just sat on my butt most of the day, watching TV. I only did two loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, washed dishes and put them away, baked some bread for the family, and that's pretty much it.   Wow. I'm a slug.   I also didn't follow the liquid diet I was planning to do yesterday. Oh, well. Today is another day, and as soon as I take my vitamins and enter some foods into FitDay, I'm going to get my butt off of this chair and work on my sewing and do some more laundry. As soon as the hubby wakes up, I'll ask him to help me unfold the treadmill so that I can use it. I bought some more soups last night, so I'll try the liquid diet again today.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Kinda cool...

Hey. I just realized something. I'm having surgery May 4th -- and that's six months TO THE DAY that I first called my surgeon to schedule an appointment about getting a lap band.   Seems like it was meant to be, or something...
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

About this liquid diet requirement before surgery...

I dunno if I can do this. Wow. This is more difficult than I thought it would be. I started over fine yesterday. Got up at 5:30am, per usual, had a few cups of coffee with half-n-half and Splenda. More coffee at work. At 10:00am, drank a generic Slimfast shake. Great. Everything was fine. No hunger. Lunch time -- had to work through lunch, but that's another story -- had my Lipton cup-o-soup chicken noodle (may was well say chicken BROTH) -- had two of those. Home at 5:30pm, had more coffee (per usual), dinner was another cup-o-soup, and another protein shake about 6:00pm.   I did fine up until 7:00pm. That's when the hunger become overwhelming. I had some clam chowder soup. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. That led to having a few slices of Swiss cheese, and just before going to bed at 9:45pm, I had five pretzel sticks.   Yeesh.   I don't even have a surgery date yet, and I can't seem to stick to a liquid diet. The surgeon reuires that I stick to a Medifast liquid diet for two weeks before surgery. I'm worried that I won't be able to do it.   Today's another day.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

2
 

Another day.......

Hmm. My journal was on Page Two again. I don't like that.   Forty-one days smoke-free today. WOO HOO!
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Gaining control of my eating...

Yesterday was a great day eating-wise. I think I'm getting things under control now. I've lost a few pounds (water weight) since Monday.   As usual, I had my coffee with half-n-half and Sweet-n-Low in the morning, then I sipped on a diet orange Faygo until noon. For lunch, I had a generic SlimFast shake, and a Lipton cup-o-soup, chicken noodle, and when the cup became half empty, I'd fill it with more hot water. I did that a few times until the chicken broth tasted more and more like just hot water. It filled my stomach, so I wasn't hungry for food. Then I drank Diet Snapple the rest of the afternoon.   It was very tempting about 3:30pm to eat one of the tootsie rolls from the candy dish in the office, but I didn't.   At home after work I had my usual 16-ounce cup of instant coffee. Dinner was a little polish sausage and sauerkraut, and a slice of Swiss cheese. Later I had a low carb tortilla with some home made chicken salad on it (chicken, boiled eggs, mayo, onion). I also had a protein bar with 3 net grams of carbs.   So, I was fully satiated yesterday and can only say that I experienced hunger once all day long. I know that I cannot make a habit of having protein bars AND food in the same meal, so I'll work on that today.   Onward.....
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

2
 

I feel good.....I knew that I would......da da da da da da DA!

Fifty hours. That’s 5-0. Fifty HOURS since I had a cigarette.   And, yanno what? I’m sitting here at 6:00am – get this – drum roll, please – I’m not craving a cigarette this morning.   WOO HOO!! You GO girl!!   It’s great to be able to sit here and drink my coffee and take my vitamins without having to jump up every twenty minutes and smoke a cigarette on the back porch. When I let the dog out this morning for her morning pee, the urge to smoke wasn’t there.   God, that felt good.   When I went for a drive yesterday afternoon with the hubby, the urge to light up while driving was there, but not because I was having a craving. It was just a habit.   THAT felt good, too.   I’m leaving in a moment to go to Big Lots to get some stocking stuffers for Christmas (why on God’s earth they would open at 6:00am, I’ll never know…….poor clerks!). I know that I will be wanting to light up while driving – just a habit – but I don’t think it will be because of a craving.   I think that Dr. Curry will be proud of me when I am able to report to him in January that I quit smoking – er, haven’t smoked since November.   Onward…….
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

4
 

Five days now...

You people are wonderful. If I ever get time, I'll respond to all of the comments I'm getting. Don't think that I'm ignoring you, please. I'll find some time to respond today while I'm on my lunch break.   Wow. Five days without a cigarette. Several quits ago, I tried the "tapering down" approach, and it was disastrous. I didn't know why then, but I know why now. I would go for hours without a cigarette, looking forward to having one at my predetermined time, holding out until then, and feeling the sweet relief once I finally got to light up again. Well, that didn't work for me because, logically, I was simply putting myself through a constant "quit and re-start" phase over and over again. I would quit for five hours, my body would start to rid itself of the nicotine, and then I would simply reintroduce the drug again. I would deny myself the nicotine for six hours, light up, get that nicotine in me again, and start the withdrawal process over again.   I was in agony for a solid week before I realized that, logically, that simply wasn't the best way to quit. It makes me wonder, however, what's gonna happen when I go from using this 21mg patch to the 14mg patch. Will I be in withdrawal? Hmm. I guess I'll hafta wait and see.   Well, it's nearly time to get ready for work. I can't wait to go back, really. I've had four days at home and I'm going batty trying to find things to keep me occupied.   *sigh* Big breath. It helps most times to feel that clean air bouncing around my lungs. It feels good to be able to take a big breath without coughing and wheezing afterwards. But I'm still wanting to smoke in the mornings -- especially the mornings. I can't wait until I don't feel a void anymore -- a void I can't seem to fill just now.   I was going to type here how many hours it's been since I had a cigarette, but it's getting too difficult to calculate in my tiny brain. It's now easier to say how many days it's been. So, it's been 5 days and 12 hours since I've had a cigarette. I'm breaking my arm here patting myself on the back.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

I've got to get a grip...

I keep thinking, "What if Dr. Curry says that I'm not a candidate for this procedure? What if he won't let me get banded? What if I just keep getting fatter and fatter, until I end up bed-ridden?"   Yeesh. I've GOT to simmer down.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Feeling much better this morning....

....and it's probably because I slept well last night, and could sleep in this morning.   I'm going to try to follow a liquid diet today and tomorrow -- not the Medifast stuff my surgeon will have me use just before surgery -- but I'll start with clear soups and beverages. Monday I'll use Kroger's generic version of SlimFast Shakes to replace two meals a day. I'm gonna try that for a week. Today's liquid diet may include some liquid Vodka-and-Diet-Coke clear beverages later this evening.   Now it's time to hit the treadmill for 30 minutes.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Wow, I'm a witch this morning.......

As of this moment, it’s been 36 hours and 50 minutes since I smoked a cigarette.   And, as of this very second, I wish to God I had a cigarette to smoke.   That’s just the way I feel right now. I do know that this feeling will pass, however. It doesn’t help that I have a freakin’ headache the size of Texas right now, and that I had wild dreams that woke me up last night every hour, on the hour – thank YOU, nicotine patch.   I’m so damn grouchy, I can hardly stand myself. The kids are going with their Mom for Thanksgiving today. The only ones in the house will be me and the hubby. I pity the fool who gets in my way today. Honestly, I do. When I let the dog out this morning for her morning pee, I wanted to smoke so badly I was clenching my jaws. My molars hurt from clenching so hard.   And I may as well state for the record right now that I am NOT following any freakin’ liquid diet anymore until I get over these damn cravings for cigarettes. I don’t even have a surgery date, for God’s sake, so I’m not going to try to quit smoking AND quit eating (essentially) at the same time. I’m strong, but I ain’t THAT strong, honey.   Damn, I’m grouchy.   I can’t wait until tomorrow night at 7:00pm. That hour will mark 72 hours since I had a cigarette – notice, I didn’t say, “…since I had my LAST cigarette…” – remember, I’m keeping my options open this time – that’s what’s gonna make this quit different than the last one.   ANYWAY…….where was I? Oh, yeah. Friday – tomorrow night – at 7:00pm will mark 72 hours since I had a cigarette. They say that the first 72 hours are the worst for cigarette cravings (whoever the Hell THEY are….who makes up this shit?). So, I’m guessing that about 8:00pm tomorrow night I’ll be in a MUCH better mood.   I’d better be because, like I said, I’m so caustic just now I can hardly stand my own self.   Better get the stupid turkey out and see if it’s thawed enough to cook it. It’s now been precisely 37 hours since I’ve smoked a cigarette.   Yee Haw . Damn cigarette cravings.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

4
 

I'm just torqued off today

I'm just in a really pissy mood today, dammit. Hell Week** started today, and I'm just ready to go off on anyone. Just gimme a reason.   Emailed the dietician today to ask if I could lose some weight without it affecting whether or not the freakin' insurance will cover my procedure. She said they'd take the weight and measurements they recorded for me when I was in the office the other day, and turn those into the insurance company. They damn well better, because I am going to try to give a liquid diet a fighting chance here starting this weekend, just to see how difficult it is, and I intend to lose weight between now and the surgery date. I don't care WHAT anyone else says...when my surgeon tells me that I hafta be on a liquid diet for 10 days before my procedure, I'm gonna By God be on that liquid diet.   The NOIVE of some people saying, "Just do what you want -- eat what you want -- but don't tell your doctor." Man, that just tears it. Holy Mother of God.....this is SURGERY, for God's sake. DO what the SURGEON says, not what you WANNA do. Nothing like breaking the freakin' rules before you're even banded. Makes me wonder what will happen to those people AFTER being banded if they can't follow the rules BEFOREhand.   I woke up at 3:00am this morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. Hubby was tossing and turning -- am CONVINCED the dolt has sleep apnea, but does he belive me? NOOOOOOOoooooooo -- so instead of laying there feeling the bed shaking every few moments because he's thrashing around like he's threshing wheat, I just said, "Oh, what the Hell," and got my arse outta the bed.   So, it's 3:45am and I've already had two cups of coffee, so I'm wide awake. I took the opportunity to search some message boards for a "routine" liquid diet menu that folks follow, but couldn't find one before I had to go to work.   It's now 9:08pm and I'm just dead to the world right now, so I think I'll give everyone in my life a break and go to bed, falling asleep to the sound of everyone heaving a huge sigh of relief.   Hey......I KNOW how I can be during Hell Week, and it ain't pretty. I pity the fool who gets in my way.   This, too, shall pass.   **Hell Week = the week before my period starts. All bets are off during that week. I am NOT my normal self, so don't expect anything normal outta me.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Insurance

I keep reading posts on these boards about insurance, and the need to document the information I get from the insurance company. I guess I'll write it down here.   Thursday, 11-02-06, 6:30pm, I called the toll-free number on the back of my husband's UHC insurance card. After pushing a few buttons to get through to customer service, I talked with a man named LeLand. I asked him this question (straight from the paperwork supplied to me by Dr. Curry): "I am inquiring about my policy benefits on surgical weight loss. Is surgery for morbid obesity a covered benefit? In particular, I'm inquiring about lap-band surgery.” LeLand: "Yes, it is. Lap-band surgery is a covered benefit." Me: "May I please give you the code for this procedure and would you please check to see if this particular code is covered?" I gave him the code. LeLand: (After sighing and acting like I was a pest) "Yes, that code is a covered benefit." Me: "What information do you require before approving the surgery?" LeLand: "You have to have a BMI greater than 35." Me: "What else?" LeLand: "Ma'am, just have your doctor's office call our care coordinator and they will work out the details. This procedure IS covered by your husband's insurance policy." At that point I just thanked him and hung up because he acted like I was just a huge pest. What I SHOULD have done was stay on the phone and gotten all of the information from the paperwork Dr. Curry supplied to me. Now I'm scared that if I call the insurance company back, I'll "tip them off" that I want to have this surgery done, and they won't put me on the policy. My husband just enrolled me this past week, and I won't be effective until 01-01-07.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
 

Well, Hell....

Out of curiosity sake, I just measured my height here at work. Barefoot, I put my back against the wall and used a pencil to draw a line. Then, I measured it with a yard stick.   All this time, I thought I was 5' 8". NOT SO. I am 5' 6", which makes my BMI 40.3 as of today.   For some reason, that really bums me out. Not so much the higher BMI, but that I am actually shorter than I was in high school. I WAS 5' 8" then. I've shrunk.   Crap.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
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