I am on a time crunch but I need to get a journal entry so I can start logging what is going on. I am 2 weeks or so away from surgery. I am scared! I just called the Dr. today to see if my insurance approved the surgery and they have. I think I was half thinking htat I would be denied. Next Monday is Pre-op appt then the following Monday is surgery. I feel conflicted. I am definitely not feeling 100% like I want to do this and I am wondering if this is normal. Of course I am afraid to ask that question at the MD office for fear that they will say "Nope, you aren't ready" and cancel my appt. Am I nuts???? I think I am questioning because since I was told that I had to lose 10 pounds and I have joined Weight Watchers (for the 100th time), I have managed to loae about 17 pounds. I have been going to the gym 5 or 6 days a week and I feel wonderful. There is that little thought that, wow, maybe I can do this myself. But then I look at my history and I am always gung ho for about 3 months or so then I lose steam. Typical diet failure. The other thing is, I plan to continue my WW meetings becauseI find them so supportive. ANother thing I never had before. This particular meeting is thebest I have ever attended and every week I feel really pumped to do my best. Anyway, if I continue to go to WW, am I a fraud??? I have not told anyone about my plans and do not intend to. I willbe weighing in with my friend that doesn't know about my plans to have surgery, and I will basically be lying to her every week. It seems so deceitful. I just know how anti-surgery she is and I don't want to tell her. I don't know what to think.
On a side note, I had a good workout today-50 minutes elliptical. I need to do my weights at some point since I did not have time at the gym today (dentist appt). Got a root canal today-lucky me. I made another appt for next week and I actually scheduled it around my workout. Whoever thought that would be a priority! haha.