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Starting Over

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Starting Over

Okay, so I admit it. I've been too tight for 1 year and 9 months. Wow I can't believe it's been that long. Always feeling uncomfortable after eating, vomiting often. I cannot remember the last day I went without vomiting at all - all day. Its become such a normal part of my life. But so incredibly embarrassing. I hate eating out with anyone. I know what's coming - quick run to the bathroom, trying to act normal, feigning a small bladder - I'm sick of it. Looking back I'm frustrated that I took this long to go fix this - have fluid out. Well, no, I understand why I haven't - shame. But I still wish I'd gone in sooner. I'm to the point I'm afraid of food. I look at food and can tell how quickly it will come right back up. I can't eat this, I can't eat that. No raw vegitables, most raw fruits aren't even an option, no bread, and most meat is out the window (down the toilet). Doesn't leave you with much that works. Chips, frappes, cheese, liquids, not very healthy.   So Saturday I starting on an antibiotic for a sinus infection, and my stomach took exception to it. The antibiotic irritated my stomach, making the lining inflamed. Between already being too tight, irritation from vomiting, and the antibiotic inflaming tissue, I effectively swelled shut. Or nearly so. All I could get down was think liquid and even that was very slow and not a sure thing. By Monday I was miserable. I called for an appointment and they got me in Tuesday afternoon. I had 7cc in my band. We took out 2cc, but the test water would still just pretty much sit there - not going down. We took out another 2cc, and water was still slow but moving - and I need to finish my antibiotic. So we decided to just take out the last 3cc. So I'm down to no fluid in my band. I'm to finish my round of antibiotics and let me stomach recover. In two weeks I go back and they will put 3-4cc back in, and we'll go from there.   I feel so much better since having the fluid out. I stood in my kitchen for a long time last night enjoying a cup of water. How great if felt to actually feel cold water go through. Amazing. Relief.   Now I have to be careful. Once the swelling goes down, I'll basically have no restriction. The theory of the next two weeks - besides healing - is regaining some confidence in being able to eat solid foods. But I can't let it get crazy. I'm going to my lap band support group tomorrow night. I haven't been in probably as long as I've been too tight, so almost 2 years. They are doing a starting over type thing for starting the New Year. So I'm starting over.........    
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1/13/11

Getting ready to leave to go to the support group meeting. (Stay positive, stay positive, stay positive). I'm waiting for mom to come pick me up - I'm all drugged up on the kind of drugs you're not supposed to drive on. I've been home sick all day with a non-gallbladder gallbladder attack. (my sphincter of Ode acting up again - builliary colic?). It's been a 50/50 day between super relaxing (darning socks, finished a book) and agony (bouts of severe, can't breath / can't think, pain). I've taken vicadin all day, but I can hardly feel it - and at times I think it's failing me. Did have a few panicked moments wondering if it was all related to my band, fearing it had slipped or something. I called the Dr. Office and they reviewed my symptoms with me - they don't think it has anything to do with my band. Thank God!   Calories: 2,520 Protein: 69
marykay82

marykay82

1
 

1-19-11

Okay, I had a really BAD food day. I mean BAAAAD. I think my mistake was making bad good choices on the road. I didn't prepare the way I could have to be in the road, but I wasn't really sure that I WOULD be on the road. Still, I should have been prepared. I did really with at first with the morning, but once I started sliding it was all over. very large espresso milk shake, fast food bad bad bad.   On the up side, I did go to Curves - so yay good choice.   According to LiveStrong: Calories Consumed: 3,188 Calories Burned: 616 (Curves!) Protein: 119   Okay - tomorrow is a new day. clean slate / fresh start
marykay82

marykay82

2
 

1-16-11

Nothing new to report with starting anything. Today I just stayed very active. I fixed lots of thing around the apartment (cleaned under and behind the fridge, hung my new stemware holder). I went shopping for a while - which means walking around whatever store at a strolling pace for about an hour per store because I can't make decisions. Did that at an oil painting sale and the grocery store.   According to LiveStrong..... Calories Consumed: 2,092 Calories Burned: 331 (walking walking walking) Protein: 77g
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1-17-11

Went and did a full work out at Curves today!   According to LiveStrong: Calories Consumed: 1,833 Calories Burned: 706 (ya Curves!) Protien: 90g    
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1/15/11 - continued

Went over to Curves. They did my measurements and weight, showed me how to use the circuit, and got my free week started. I think I really like it. I can get the student discount and go for $29 a month. Not to shabby. So thanks to Curves, I didn't / don't need to buy a measuring tape.   As of today: Weight - 273 Resting Heart Rate: 88 Bust: 49 Waist: 45 Abdomen: 48 Hips: 56 Thighs: 32 Arms: 20 Body Fat %: 47.4 BMI: 45.4   I can't remember if I mentioned before, but I loaded LiveStrong to the Iphone and have been tracking my food and exercise all day. Awesome app - and it was free.   Calories Consumed: 1,951 Calories Burned: 621 (Curves plus walking) Protein: 50g H2O: Not sure, a ton, something like 4 Shakespeare's cups so probably 6-8 8oz cups, 48-64oz, lets just say my pee is extremely pale - so good.   Also just got back from Wal-Mart. Bought lots of good food choices (and a few bad so I don't feel deprived - changing in steps here). I also bought a good multivitamin and calcium chews. Can't wait to see how they affect me - no sarcasm here, really. looking for improvements in hair, nails, skin, and over all feeling better.
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1/15/11

Went to the weight loss group Thursday. It was the intro to the "Back on Track" series. They talked about making goals.   I'm looking into joining Curves. There's one right down the street. Looks like fun, something that would fit. I think I'm going to do the one week trial and see how I like it.   I loaded a food/exercise tracker app on my phone. Starting to do the log thing today.   I'm going to get a measuring tape at Wal-Mart today so I can take my measurement. I'm going to consider today the starting day. I'll do my measurements, weigh in, start my food/exercise log, and go to Curves.   My long term goal is to get down to 160 lbs and to be physically strong.   Calories In:1,951 Burned: 621 Protein: 50
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1-20-11

According to LiveStrong: Calories Consumed: 2,201 Calories Burned: 184 (unearthing my car from the snow) Protein: 77g
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

Side note

My original weight loss tracker     So I have made SOME progress. At my appointment yesterday I was up 8 pounds from my last appointment in April of 2009. So that's not so bad, could have been a lot worse. Could also have been a lot better if I'd gone in sooner.    
marykay82

marykay82

0
 

1-18-11

I'm disappointed I didn't get in any real exercise today. I did some hallway walking at work, but it wasn't nearly enough.   I got my hair cut and highlighted today! Very positive for my self image.   According to LiveStrong: Calories Consumed: 1,593 Calories Burned: 51 (Walking at work) Protein: 55g
marykay82

marykay82

0
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