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About this blog

I"m starting my journey from the very beginning.

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The waiting game

I'm finding it hard to have to wait around for the next part of my journey. I started in November 2010 and although it only been two months I feel like its taking a long time. I have such high times during the month, especially after visiting my doctors office, or setting up appointment. But then there is a lot of time to wait and think. What if my insurance won't cover it? What if I'm not strong enough to make the right eating choices? What if something happens during surgery? This operation could change my whole life. ( in fact I'm praying that it does)   I'm an optimist through and through but this is a huge decision that I'm not taking lightly. I've chosen to get the surgery, which has been one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. Now instead of waiting, I want actions! I have my seminar at the end of the month and then I have to meet with my doctor to fill out the referral. It doesn't seem that far away but its the waiting, and thinking that are getting to me. I know I can do it. I just want to be given the chance already.     I talk too much. Adrienne
Adrienne86

Adrienne86

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Starting at the Beginning

Today is my first day on this site. It's refreshing to join a community where you can talk about WLS and not be given the "evil eye". However it brings me to the reality that this is not going to be an easy journey. Well worth it, of course, but not easy.   I've been thinking about doing WLS surgery for quite some time, but it wasn't until the day before my 24th birthday that I brought it up to my doctor. I've been overweight since I can remember. I even joke with my friends that I was born the size of a small linebacker. (I guess your just had to be there) but I've always been okay with being overweight, because that wasn't what defined me.   The slap in the face didn't come until I was put on high blood pressure medicine at 23. I was trying to avoid it for a couple months but it finally became apparent that I couldn't do it on my own. It wasn't that I was naive; I just never thought that I was THAT unhealthy. I played sports most my life, and have been on a constant diet since I can remember. But still, my weight caught up and has begun to take over. The image of dumping water out of a sinking boat comes to mind.   My doctor, skinny women of course, thought that I would be a good candidate for the lap-band surgery. With her support I am SLOWLY making progress. I started this journey November 12, 2010 when I first spoke to her. After two months I feel as though I haven't really gotten anywhere. The biggest problem I'm running into is that I'm not "fat" enough. I'm about 10 pounds away from being in the correct BMI for the surgery. 10 pounds.... really? I thought for sure after the holidays I would gain a least a couple of pounds, but, somehow, I did not. I LOST weight. Which is an accomplishment for me, but also a double ended sword. However I still have a Seminar at the end of the month where I get to meet my surgeon who will be doing my surgery, IF I qualify for it.   I know how much of my life will change. The food that I will no longer be able to eat, the struggle both physically and emotionally. But then I think about all the things I WILL be able to do now that I couldn't before. (Climbing a flight of stairs without huffing & puffing will be my #1) I know this is what I'm supposed to do. I just pray that fate doesn't throw me for a roller coaster to get there.     I know I talk too much,   Adrienne
Adrienne86

Adrienne86

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