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About this blog

:thumbup:My journey with the band - On my way to the 2nd part of my life!

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23 days until Band Land

Wow, just 23 more days until I'm banded. I still can't believe it and I still freak out from time to time, but getting better.   Eating was just bad this weekend due to the holidays, and poor food choices. I'm back on track this morning, and going to do my best to stick to it until 1/4 when I will begin my liquid diet.   I'm having a weird pain on my right side (where my gall bladder was), I'm not sure what it is, but I think it might be muscle spasms, I had it BEFORE my gall bladder was removed, and now I'm having them again.   I'm hoping with my upper GI they can see something and tell me what it is. I have that on the 4th.   Anyhow, I better get to work, I'm just checking in. I didn't exercise over the weekend, they closed my gym down for the holidays. I'll get back in the grove tonight I think.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

28 days until banding

Wow, just 28 more looooong days before I am banded.   My eating has been okay, last night we went out to eat, and it was kinda weired. Usually I can eat the entire plate and am licking the the juices off the plate, but I only ate about 1/2 of it. My DH said, "your not eating much", and I said, "I'm full". I think he about fell out of his chair. lol. I don't know if I have ever stopped eating when I was full.   Ever since that I found out I was approved for the band. I've tried to eat the banster way, not always succeeding, but it is on my mind, take small bites, eat slow, and chew chew chew. Proteins first then veggies. So, even without the band, I'm making some changes.   I have taken this surgery very serious and not looking at it as a quick fix, but as a tool. I am going to have to do my part in order to lose this weight.   The last few days, exercise has been zippo. I didn't go last night because my mother came over and she lives out of town, so I couldn't just leave her and run to work out. So my DH & I took my mother out for a nice dinner. My mother & I were a bit depressed so DH thought dinner out would be good (what a sweet guy I have :kiss2: ).   My Grandmother (who I love like no other) is slowly dying and it is really depressing for my mother & I. My Gma had a very bad stroke April 9, 2004 so because she was crippled, my mother could not take care of her anylonger. She needed 24/7 care and my mom could not lift my grandmother due to my mothers own health problems. So, since I am power of attorney over my Gma, I placed her in a nursing home. My mother & I visit her almost daily and have since she was placed there. But lately, her eating has gone down to about 25% of her food. Hospice informed us yesterday this is the first stages of death. I know my grandmother is in pain and I hate seeing her suffer daily, its just hard knowing that this woman I loved more than anythig in the entire world is about to leave me. And my mom is a big moma's baby too, and she always cared for my gma thru the years, so its hard on my mom too. Anyhow, its just a tough time for my mother & I to endure but I know it has to happen and I know in the long run, death will be so much better for my Grandmother than living like she is. I know she WOULD NOT want to live like this and she has told me that many of times that she never wants to dwindle away in a nursing home, which is exactly what she is doing. I wish I could change it, but I can't.   Anyhow, just expressing my emotions today.
tonya66

tonya66

3
 

29 more days

29 more days until my banding!!!!   I did not make it the gym last night. My daughter had a concert at school, so by the time that got over with, I just didn't have the energy. So, I must get there tonight.   Eating was off yesterday, didn't do that bad, but didn't do that great either. However, I knew I was going to eat what I want, and try and make wise choices, so I am not feeling guilty.   Anyhow, I'm back on track today!!!!
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

30 Days and counting

Yepper, 30 more days until Band Date!!!!   I went to the gym AGAIN last night. I did another 20 minutes on the Elliptical - Then 10 min on treadmill.   I almost talked myself out of going to the gym. My DH was trying to talk me out of going, telling me to stay home with him. He even said, its fun being fat. LOL. He is 6'1 and weighs 180lbs, perfect size, no fat. But he didn't want me to leave him last night, so was trying everything to get me to stay home. I told him I was only doing 30 minutes and would be back. The big baby.   I did make it to the gym and it took me about 10 minutes to really get into the exercising, I kept watching the time and thinking (I can't believe its only been 3 min etc. ) I didn't think I was going to be able to do it, I just didn't have it in me last night. But I forced myself to do it, and I'm happy I did.   Today is a party at work and lots of goodies. I plan on enjoying myself and not feeling guilty with whatever I eat. I was offered some homemade cinnamon rolls this morning, but I declined since I know I will be eating more than I should for lunch.   I am not going to over do it, but I am sure I will eat more than I should. I will exercise again tonight.   Well, off to get a little work done before my party.....30 more days until my band date - YAY!
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

I'm going to be a skinny Bitch!

Thats what I keep telling myself. I call myself a skinny bitch because, all these beautiful women that walk by, I always whisper to my friends, "skinny bitch". lol. Its a way of vent out my jealousy. I really want to trip them when they walk by eating an ice cream bar and wearing a size 3 jean.   Anyhow, last night I kept telling myself yes, I'm going to be a skinny bitch too! and I can't wait.   I know a lot of people have surgery for health reasons, and thats what I'm telling my husband. But deep down, I want to be skinny, I want to be that skinny bitch that walks by in the mall and the fat girls say "look at that skinny bitch". I know that sounds weird, but thats how I feel. I want someone to call my skinny, just once.   I know that its a little vain, but I just can't help it. I want my skinny body back damn it! I know that the other health issues I have will go away with me losing weight, but really, I don't even care. The only thing I care about is getting my 20 yr old body back at 40! It sucks being 40 and looking 40, I want to be 40 and look 20. Maybe its a mid-life crises, hell, maybe I'm just crazy and a freak, but I don't care, I want my skinny body back. Some say it can't be done, I'm 40 and face it, but I will prove them wrong!   I took my before pic in a bikini, it is SCARY. You can see all the cottage cheese on my thighs, its really gross. But...........I plan on taking my after picture in a bikini too!
tonya66

tonya66

5
 

Countdown starts

Wt this morning 227.4 - Scale is moving REAL slow.   Yes, today marks 1 month away from my band surgery. Its exactly 31 days until banded date. Yay.   I have to say also, I MADE IT TO THE GYM last night. Thats right, I got off my ASS and exercised.   I did 20 min on the elliptical machine, and then 10 min on the treadmill. I know its only 30 minutes, but I felt good and I will continue doing a minimum of 30 min. of exercise EVERYDAY until banding date. I'm getting my body in shape for surgery.
tonya66

tonya66

4
 

I am totally sucking the last few days!

Okay, I guess the carb demons are getting to me in the evening time. I do great all day long, then evening is here and I cheat!!!!   Yesterday we went to a going away party for one of our Elders at my church. I had a protein shake for breakfast, and then drank another one for lunch, just because I was on the run.   I did pretty good with dinner at the party, except the dessert table kept calling my name. I snuck over and had a brownie, then I had a 1/4 piece of peacan pie - yum, then ..............one more bownie. grrrr. I hate when I can't just say - NO THANK YOU.   Today, back on track,,,,,so far. Actually, I'm headed out to the gym to workout. So, hopefully I can work off the desserts from last night.   Tomorrow begins my 30 day countdown until surgery. I can't wait!
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

Notes to myself

Went to Seminar on 11/11/06 Attended support meeting 11/13/06 Met wtih Doctor on 11/22/06 (weighed in at 247.7) Was approved from insurance on 12/11/06 (2 1/2 weeks) Scheduled surgery on 12/12/06 to be on 1/18/07 (my choice to wait unitl January) 1/4/07 - Deposit needs to be paid to doctors office for surgery 1/4/07 - Upper GI at 9:30 am - Must fast before 1/4/07 - Begin liquid diet - Protein shakes, broth, jello (sf). 1/4/07 - Psych Eval 5:30 pm 1/8/07 - 8:30 am pre-op with Hospital (3 hr appt) 1/8/07 - 2:00 pm Surgery Education class Docs office 1/8/07 - 3:00 Dietician meeting (hospital) 1/8/07 - 4:30 pm pre-surgery consultation with doc 1/9/07 - 11:30 am Sleep study appointment with doctor. 1/9/07 - 9:30 pm, Sleep study test (91st & Yale, Sleep Centers) 1/12/07 - Docs office to call me and let me know what time surgery will be on the 18th. 1/18/07 - SURGERY (no time yet)
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

I gotta get my mind right

What the heck is wrong with me? Last night I overdosed on cookies & milk. I'm so mad at myself! I did so great yesterday, ate right, and everything. Then last night wanted somthing sweet so bad, so I opened up a sugar free pudding, added a little sugar free whip topping on it and thought, this should do the trick. Then there was two sugar cookies sitting on the cabinet my daughter had made the a few nights ago. You guess it, I ate both of them. Well that got my sweet tooth in full swing, so then I opened a bag of cookies (the small bags you put in kids lunch pails) and I ended up eating the WHOLE BAG of those.   Bad Bad me. Anyhow, I'm eating a healthy breakfast (low carb) this morning. So, trying to get back on track and get this sugar out of my system.   The biggest problem I am having is getting back to exercising. I suck.   Watching the Biggest Loser has motivated me to start back, however, this big ass of mine is refusing to get up. Its like my body and my heart are at war with each other.   Anyhow, I'm going to lose this weight, I will I will I will. So, no more cookies for me.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

Scale is moving

Weighed in this morning, TOM is finally starting to leave, so the scales are FINALLY starting to go down again. Weighed this morning at 227.8.   I am really hoping to get to 215 by my surgery date, but thats just a little over a month away, so not sure if I will or not. I'll be happy if I get down to 220 by surgery date.   I'm about to start my countdown to surgery. I'm really getting excited and I keep fantasizing about how I will look at 140 lbs. I can't wait!
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

OMG Am I really going to do this?

OMG, I'm freaking out....I feel like my entire life is about to change. OMG OMG OMG.   Okay, Tonya, take a deep breath, breathe in, breathe out....okay, better now.   I just got a call from the docs office to officially schedule the surgery. I chose 1/18, so I'm scheduled for surgery on 1/18.   I have to have a Psych Eval on 1/2, I get an upper GI on 1/4, I have to pay my deposit on 1/4 for the surgery, I meet with the diatician on 1/8 at 2:00, I also have to have my pre-op consultation on 1/8 at 4:30. Everything is moving fast, I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. Its a weird feeling. I can't believe I am actually going to do this. I'm actually going to have surgery. I hope I am not making a huge mistake. I hope I can do this, I've been so pro-band for so long, now that it is actually here, I'm freaking out!   Okay, calm down, It will be okay, I can do this, yes I can.
tonya66

tonya66

4
 

I GOT APPROVED!

I received a call today from my case worker at the doctor office and she said that she was notified by UHC that I was approved. She told me she would hand my file off to Linda who would be calling me to set up a surgery date.   Now, I'm just waiting on that call.   I am trying to schedule the surgery for January 18th and return back to work on February 14th, this will give almost 4 weeks off of work! I should be able to eat regular foods by then. No one from work knows I am having the surgery, they just think I'm taking off for a hernia repair (which I am doint that too).   I'm so excited, I want to tell someone, but I can't since no one knows, so I'm yelling it in my journal. Yay!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

I got my first pre-op testing appointment.

I got a call from the Hospital and they stated they received a fax from my doctor to schedule my appointment for an Upper GI. I thought this was kinda weird since I'm still not approved yet. But I guess they are starting the process with my test.   At least I know the ball is moving. I'm supposed to go in on December 14th at 7:30 am, however, I'm thinking about changing it until the first of January.   In January I will have $4,000 on my Payflex account card to be used for any medical cost, right now I have ZERO. So I will more financially able to handle all the co-pays and test cost if I wait until January. So I'l calling back and rescheduling the first week of January. I don't want my surgery until January anyhow, so this will work better for me.   I'm just excited that things are moving, even though I'm still waiting on the darn insurance company! I know, patience.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

Here is what I am hoping the Lap Band will help me do

I've been thinking a lot about the Band, and actually what I want the band to help me accomplish - so here goes some things I am hoping to achieve in the next few years:   1. I want back in my bikini! I haven't worn it since, well, 14 years ago.   2. I want a fit body, not just healthy but toned, I want my atheletic shape back - the one way to do this is EXERCISE (note to self, get off the couch and MOVE)   3. I want to buy sexy clothes again! and not only buy them, but be able to wear them and feel good in them.   4. I want to be able to bend down and tie my shoes without the breath being knocked out of me. - DONE!   5. I want to be able to get in the tub and not have my ASS take up the entire tub, side to side - oh this sucks. - DONE!   6. I want to be able to cross my legs. - DONE!   7. I want to be able to wear shorts without them riding up my crotch.   8. I want to be able to walk without my thighs rubbing each other and sweating in the summer and leaving that horrible heat rash!   9. I want to be able to push food away and not feel the need to clean up the entire plate.- Still working on this one!   10. I don't want food to be my focus in life.- Getting better!   11. I want my kids to be proud of me.   12. I want to feel beautiful again and not 40 & fat.   13. I want to be able to buy a low rise pair of jeans without my stomach hanging over. my current jeans go clear up to my belly button.   14. I want to be able to have sex with my DH and not feel the need to "turn the lights off".   15. I want to become where exercise is a part of my life, where I crave exercise like I crave chocolate.- Becoming more and more part of my life!   16. I want to inspire other people to lose weight.   17. I want to become a personal trainer.   18. I want to buy attractive Teddies to wear instead of my sweatpants and tee shirts to bed.   19. I want to be proud of my weight, not ashamed.   20. I want people to be shocked that I am 40 because I look younger, not shocked because I am 40 and I look 50.   PS - my weight this morning 229.2
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

Still waiting

I'm still waiting to hear something from my insurance company. I am not sure when it was actually submitted, I hope my letter from the doctor got sent out. I think it probably went out last week, but it might have not gone out until this week because the docs office was closed 2 days due to the snow & ice.   Anyhow, I am getting anxious and nervous.   I didn't weigh this morning, but I know i'm losing. I suspect I weigh around 229 or 228.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

I'm losing ........

I weighed this morning, yes I know, I said I wasn't going to, but I felt thinner so I thought I would hop on the scales. I was shocked when it said 229.6, I was 234 3 days ago.   I think I will reach my goal of weighing 215 by my surgery date.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

Going strong so far

I didn't weigh this morning, I'm trying not to look at the scale except for 1 x per week. I also didn't get up to exercise, it was raining hard this morning and I just didn't feel like dealing with it.   Menu today   Breakfast weight control oatmeal coffee with cream   lunch taco soup   snack string cheese 1/2 piece of sausage link   dinner sf jello turkey breast
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

Getting back on track

Wt 234   Oh, its so hard to get back on track. I did so good with eating on Friday & Saturday, and partially Sunday. Then Sunday night, broke down and had some yummy cheesecake.   I brought my lunch to work today so I can stay on the LC Atkins track. I'm basically going to follow the Atkins plan until after I'm banded, then I'll do more of low fat and low carb.   Todays menu:   Breakfast scrambled egg/cheese 3 slices of thin bacon   Lunch Chef salad   Snack LC yogurt   Dinner Turkey breast green beans   I tried to get up at 5:00 am to make it to the gym, just couldnt drag my fat butt out of bed, I went to bed too late last night and I needed my sleep. So, I plan on exercising tonight at the gym. - I MUST get back to exercising!
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

Starting LC today

Even though my surgery won't be until probably January, I'm not waiting around to get on a good eating program. I am hoping to lose another 20 pounds by the time the surgery rolls around.   Today's menu:   Brunch (got up at 4:30 am to get a deal at a store, then came back and went to bed and didn't get back up until 11:00 am) 2 slices of roast beef, left over from dinner last night unsweetened tea   Dinner grilled bell pepper & onions roast beef   No exercise today - but planning on getting back to the gym on Monday, or sooner   Wt this morning 235.2
tonya66

tonya66

2
 

Waiting on Insurance Approval

I had my doctor consultation and he answered all my questions. I told him that I wanted a low-profile port and he said he would have to order it but could do it. Once the insurance approves my surgery, then they will order the port.   My case worker told me I should hear something by the end of December. I'm so excited. I should have my surgery sometime in January.
tonya66

tonya66

1
 

I can't wait until Wednesday

The waiting is killing me. I go see the doctor on Wednesday, the 22nd. They will weigh me and send my paper work off too the insurance. I am just praying I get approved. I am so nervous about not getting approved.   I'm so anxious over all this, I hate waiting! But I know there is nothing I can do to rush the process, I just need to learn to be patient - something I am not good at.
tonya66

tonya66

3
 

I'm so happy

I went to my seminar Saturday and yesterday the doctors office called me to see if I was interested in getting the band, and ofcourse I said yes. So they scheduled my appointment for November 22, 2006. I will meet with the doctor and they will file my insurance. I am hoping to have the ban in place in January.   I am just hoping my insurance will approve it because there is no way I would be able to be self-pay.
tonya66

tonya66

3
 

WL goals

Okay, I know I am trying NOT to focus on the scales as much as focussing on eating better and exercising. Matter of fact, I've avoided the scales I think for 5 days or more now. No desire to touch the scales at this point. However, lets face it, we are all having WLS to lose weight and get a better health.   I think I should weigh around 220 when I go into my surgery. With that being said, I am aiming for 140 to be my goal weight. I will be happy with 150, but 140 is my ultimate goal. From what I have been reading, the average weight loss is 50 to 70 % of your excess body weight. So my excess body weight would be 80 lbs right?   Anyhow, this paper I read stated that the average amount of weight loss is as follows:   6 weeks - 20% (that would be 16 lbs for me) 3 months - 33% (that would be 26 lbs for me) and 1 year out - 67% (that would be 53 lbs for me)   I am really not planning on losing much my first 6 weeks, I hear a lot of people dont.   So, for me, I'm focussing on the 6 months out and 1 year out. My goal is to lose 35% the first six months and 55% the first year - so at my 6 months anniversary (July 18th, 2007) I want to weigh - 188 lbs. My 1 year anniversary (1/18/08) I want to weigh 175 lbs. I will then have an additional 35 lbs to go. I will work on that in 2008.   Are these goals doable for me? I think they are. I will do everything in power to reach these goals this year! If I can exceed the goals I've set for myself the first year, I will be a happy little girl. If I don't meet them and I know I did everything in my power. Then I will know that I am "below" average. Thats okay too. I know I'm a slow loser, so I will take that.   Okay, just had to write some of my thoughts down before I forget them.
tonya66

tonya66

0
 

Fill #22

Fill #21 worked pretty good, but since I've lost weight, I can tell its a little loose so I decided to tweak it just a bit. Doc only added a little bit and it was perfectly tight again, not too tight, but just right!     Fill #1 - 3/6/07 - 2.2cc's   Fill #2 - 4/17/07 - 3.0cc's   Fill #3 - 7/6/07 - 3.5 cc's (I think it was only 2.5cc's because when I went back for fill #4, he could only w/draw 1.8 cc's)   Fill #4 - 7/20/07 - filled me back to 3.0 ccs - He should have filled me more!   Fill #5 - 8/17/07 - 3.4cc's   Fill #6 - 10/08/07 - filled me to 3.8cc's - the best restriction I've ever had,but still could eat big bites of food, so I figured I needed to be tighter.   Fill #7 - 11/21/07 filled to 4.0 cc's. By the evening could not hold anything down, not even my saliva. PBing all night - horrilble experieince   UNFILL #1 - 11/23/07 - unfilled to somewhere between 2.5 to 3.0 cc's - NO RESTRICTIONS AGAIN :rolleyes2:   Fill #8 - 1/18/08 Went in and the doc filled me back up to just right under 4.0, according to Flouro, it was perfect. Well, by next morning, could not hold down saliva again, ended up back in hospital   UNFILL #2 - 1/19/08 - Doctor had to unfill me to 3.0 again because of the swelling from all the PBing for being too tight. Again, NO RESTRICTION - :confused:   Fill #9 - 2/12/08 - 3.5 cc's - was tight for about a week, now feel lose again. grrrr, still have "some" restriction, just not quite enough! Next fill scheduled for 4/7/08 - I hate that it takes sooooooo long to get in to see the fill doc.   FILL #10 - 4/7/08 The doc just added .4cc's, making me at 3.9cc's. I think this might be the one!   FILL #11 - Was scheduled on 6/25/08 - but the doc did not fill me up, I was leaving for a cruise on 6/27 so he didn't want to risk me being too tight, so did not get a fill.   FILL #11 - 8/5/08 Went for a fill, this time the doc took all my fill out and all he could get out was 2.4 cc's. Filled me up to 4.0 cc's, I left, had to go right back because I could not drink, he took out a little over .2 cc's, he said I'm somewhere between 3.5 to 3.7 cc's. - I had great restriction for 2 weeks, but It has now loosened some. I feel I might need a tad more. I'm worried I have a very slow leak.   UNFILL #3 - 8/5/08 - Took a little over .2 cc's out, had pretty good restriction, but still a tad too lose.   FILL #12 - 9/17/08 - Added just 1/10th of a cc - I think I'm somewhere between 3.8 to 3.9 cc in a 4cc band. I am hoping and praying this is the fill that I stop with! I do not have another appointment for another fill, will wait this one out and see.   Fill #13 - 10/06/08 - Doc added about 2/10's of a cc. He took everything out and put it all back in and said I was about 3.7 to 3.8cc's. - which is where he said I was last time.   FILL #14 - 11/10/08 - Doc took everything out and I had about 3.6cc's, which is pretty good. He then filled me up to just under 4.0cc's I believe I'm about 3.9cc's. I ate some canned peaches and set around the office for a bit, made sure none came back up. Seems to be doing good so far. I hope this is my last fill!   FILL #15 - 08/10/09 - Added about 1/10th of a cc. I think I'm right at 4.0 cc. Wt on the morning of my fill was at 165. But was very bloated from steroids I was on for the previous week.   FILL #16 - 8/31/09 - My last fill lasted 2 weeks then I felt wide open. Went in for another fill, this time he did not take any out and just added 2/10th's of a cc. I think I'm just a little more than 4.1 cc's in a 4.0 cc band. I feel great restriction so far. I'm hoping this last. I'm sick of fills. lol. - I could tell my fill was wide open, I was starving all the time, wt at the time of fill was 170! grrrrrrr   FILL #17 - 10/30/09 - completely drained me, checked for a leak - no leak YAY - added 4.6 cc's - I feel like he didn't add anything, feel wide open! Hungry all the time   FILL #18 - 11/09/09 Doc did barium swallow test - I think he thought I was full of it. He saw what I was talking about and agreed I was way too loose. He added 2.5cc's. I feel restriction again, but not a real tight restriction. I have no idea where I'm at these days and I really don't care anymore how much CC's I have, I just want RESTRICTION!!!!!!   Fill #19 - 11/23/09 - I had a some restriction, but not enough, the doc added 3/10ths of a cc. I feel pretty good, not too tight, which means it probably will get looser. I will ride this fill out and see what happens. Very discouraged at this point.   FILL #20 - 12/28/09 - did not take any fluid out, just added 4/10th's of a cc. Still feel lose, but on the fluro it showed I was tight, so we'll see how it goes.........   FILL #21 - 02/01/10 - Doc did not take any fluid out, added 1/2 a mil then I told him it was still too loose, so he added another 1/10th of a cc. Feel really good right now - but as always we will have to wait and see.   FILL #22 - 5/17/10 - Decided to get just a little tweak, my last fill is still pretty good, but wanted to go just a tad tighter. Doc added just a little, probably 1/10 of a mil.
tonya66

tonya66

0
 

Fill #22 is perfect but.........

Well had fill #22 exactly 3 weeks ago and it is the sweet spot I have been searchig for over 3 years! I love the restriction, I love everything about the way I eat, however, I noticed acid reflux at night. Lots and lots of acid reflux lately. grrrrrrrrr. I'm waking up choking and coughing and my lungs are feeling like I'm getting pneumonia, I know I don't have that, but thats the way it feels. I know its time to tweak this fill just a little.   I have Barrets Esophagus from years of acid reflux and its very dangerous to have acid reflux once you are diagnoxed with Barrets Esophagus, so my ENT doctor wants me to get just a slight unfil to see if that eases it up.   I am going back today to have the band doc take just 1/10th of a cc out. He only added 2/10ths with my last fill so I'm think 1/10th of a cc taken out might do the trick.   Weight this morning 147.7. Still would like to get to 145 before my cruise - which I have a feeling I will do it with no problem, my cruise is 5 weeks away. :thumbup:   Menu today:   Bfast Coffee/cream strawberry jam (homemade sf) toast   Lunch mini meatloaf with homemade SF barbque sauce I made and a radish salad   Snack orange and strawberry protein drink   Dinner fish & salad
tonya66

tonya66

0

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