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The way things change...

Entries in this blog

 

I SEE YOU...

I feel like I'm a stalker in the bushes spying on onederland! I'm at 201.2. I'm VERY happy because I started out at 346 but of course since I want to be under 200 my body is not coopearting...YET! The scale keeps reading 201.6, 201.2, 201.8, 202.2, back down to 201.8. AAAARG just get there! When I think about it, it does seem silly because who could see the weight differnce of 1 or 2 lbs. Still! I've gotta see that 199.9! I don't plan on stopping after I get there but it's sure gonna feel good when I finally make that milestone. The last year I have become so OCD about the scale and myfitnesspal. It is amazing to see to see the difference between how I am now and the 346 person who had given up. I just keep telling myself everyone has their struggles in life, this just happens to be mine. I'm gonna keep pushing and I hope all of you guys do too!

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Vacation was just what I needed!

I was eating right and exercising, my weight was barely budging, and it was SO frustrating. I guess a break and relaxing was just what my body needed. I went to Daytona for 2 weeks and ate whatever types of food I felt like. I was afraid I'd gain but I still managed to lose 1 pound because of all the wakling I did at Disney, the zoo, and on the beach. Now that I'm home I've been really strict on my eating again, drinking plenty of water, and bumped up the incline on my jogs. So far and I've lost 3 lbs over the last 2 days. It feels good to see the scale move at a quicker pace again I will enjoy it while it lasts! Almost 133 lbs gone in 12 & 1/2 mos!

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

I must be crazy!

I got the bright idea to change my my work out and go the whole muscle confusion route. I am starting P90X today. I will probably be wheezing like Fatty McGee before it's all over but I'm gonna try my best to do it. I'm pretty sure it should be called 90 days of pure torture. lol Maybe that's what the X stand for!?!!?    

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Give and Take

I feel like the better looking I get in my clothes the worse I'm starting to look out of them! It's so funny that as I was gaining weight I kind of always had the mentality that well I'll just lose the weight eventually and BAM I'd have this smokin body. It never dawned on me the lasting affects and scars the many years of abuse would cause my body. I'm constantly looking at my body and going oooo I'm getting thinner here and here and longer here (sigh) wait LONGER? I find myself contemplating surgeries that were never an option in my mind. Boy how things change. I'm sure there is more than one person out there that can relate to this.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Another Plateau!

It's been 19-20 days since I've really lost any weight. I'm still averaging about 900-1200 cals a day. I'm still working out 4-6 times a week. I'm still drinking lots of water. It SUCKS! I've tried tripping up my metabolism here and there with taking in some extra calories, and I've bumped up my exercise. I think my body is just fighting me. I know I'll get past this but I keep finding myself becoming more negative about it every day. I just hope that someday soon I pop out of this plateau and get to losing again. I've been averaging about 10-12 lbs a mo since I was banded and this mo so far I've lost 3 and I don't have much time left. I'm super sad faced!   Don't get me wrong if your average is half a pound to 1 pound a week there is nothing wrong with that. I just know how hard I work and what results I normally get from it and I'm just GRRRR about it right now! Crossing my fingers and hoping for a 180 soon.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Wow Factor

I went to a baby shower this weekend and I haven't really seen a lot of the people in the last 8 months of weight loss. It was the first time I have really gotten this since I've lost weight. I thought that they would notice but I did not expect the OH MY GOD that was yelled at me as I walked in the door. People came from other rooms to see what the yelling was about. I have to admit it made me feel good. I guess people do notice the 109 lbs I'm missing. I can't believe I've basically lost my sister. Now when I tell people I want to lose another 77 lbs they look at me like I'm crazy and tell me they have no idea where it's going to come from. Well I do... but it's still nice to hear it.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Frustrated...

It took 9 days to lose 0.60 of a pound. The scale moved back up, so it's been 13 days since I've actually lost weight. It's so frustrating! I know it's silly to feel so frustrated I've lost 103 lbs, but I haven't gone this long before without weight loss. I've heard that a lot of people will stall around 100 lbs. I hope that's all it is, because I'm still eating right, drinking all my water, and I'm still exercising. This is where I have to take my own advice and just push through it and keep doing what I'm doing until my body snaps out of it. I'm trying to breathe and stay positive and is it hard! I know any day now the scale will reflect my work, but getting to that point... grrr I say GRR!!

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

GRRR YOU SCALE!

Last week I lost 6 lbs. This week my scale is like screw you lady I'm not budging! Oh well a stall out always follows a really good loss. Things could be worse I could be gaining! On a happy note... 3 day weekend can't wait to sleep!    

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

It happened over night!

When I was first banded I had a friend from this forum tell me that one day people will all the sudden notice you've lost weight and act like it happened over night. Well it's finally happened! Yesterday I came to work feeling confident in smaller clothes and a new hair cut. I was stopped by so many people and they all had to tell me they didn't recognize me, they're so impressed with my weight loss, and that it just happened over night. What a shock to me! This has been the longest night ever lol. 7 mo of counting my calories and wearing my treadmill out. Even still, it feels GREAT to hear the compliments. If you're not there yet just remember it's coming! Every little fraction of a pound is worth celebrating. For the record I was down another 0.20 of a pound this morning... oh ya it definitely called for a naked dance! I guess I should add that as much as you should celebrate every weight loss, try not to freak out if you wake up one morning a pound or more heavier. I'm sure you've experienced it by now, lack of sleep, lack of water, or a slight change in the breeze can sometimes affect that number... temporarily. Keep pushing through those rough spots and you'll get there. Now! Remember this because I'm sure I'll have a low at some point and I'll need someone to help me get through it.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Well I never thought I'd see it...

I'm feeling all motivated again! ABOUT TIME! I was stuck at 247 ONE STINKIN WHOLE POUND above the 100 lb loss mark. I woke up and OMG I'm 244! 7 months in and 102 lbs lost! I have to laugh at myself yet again, because I freak out when I'm only losing a 10th or two 10ths of a pound here or there. I'm all POOR ME! It doesn't matter if I've lost 6 lbs the week before haha. I'm pretty sure we all get like that. I was walking in to work with my husband and one of the women I work with followed me in. She made me feel good because she said when she first saw me she said OMG who is that skinny (word I won't say here) with him! I'm not skinny but it it sure makes me feel good to hear it. I even had ice cream this weekend...twice . I've been working out so much I STILL lost. MUUUHAHAHHAHA..cough cough.... HA! (evil laugh) \   OH and I have tried to comment on other people's blogs and when I hit comment nothing happens. Is there some setting I've missed?

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Another Milestone

OOOOH HAPPY DAY! Another big WOO HOO! Just like anyone who has an excessive amount of weight to lose, I set milestones for myself. Starting weight 346 1 - Get under 300 - CHECK yes 299.9 counts! 2 - Get back in to my wedding ring - CHECK 3 - Get under 250 - CHECK 4 - Get back in to my size 20 jeans that I wore when I got married - YAY I DID IT I DID IT!   I'm so excited I started out wearing size 28s and now I'm in 20s. Let me tell you these aren't the stretchy kinda jeans these are the old school don't breath to make them fit kinda jeans. I almost cried when they zipped.   I laugh at myself every time i dance naked on my bathroom scale when I lose a 10th of a pound, but this morning was ridiculous. I thought OMG I look so SEXY in my pants, but it's hard to pull of sexy when you look like a baboon flailing around in excitement. I was even late for work but I think fitting in to old clothes is worth a little not rhythmical dancing and gloating! .

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Shock

It's funny the way things change... perception, idea, desire. Simple fact, life changes and we adjust. When I first heard about this crazy lapband I thought it was insane that people could survive off of so litte and not be starving all the time. I saw results and read endless forums on the subject before I decided it was worth looking in to. I was terrified to tell my family, because most have the whole just eat less and exercise speech even though they don't know how to do that themselves. If you've never had a weight problem, you're skinny, eat what you want, and lazy...well it's not because you did the right thing you were just lucky! I know how to eat I know how to exercise. I just can't keep the weight off once I get it off. A normal person can have a bad day and not regain every thing they've lost. You give up after a while and before you know it you weigh 346 lbs. I was at the end of the rope and freaking out. I finally decided that this is my life and I wanted it for myself. In fact my brother and one of my closest friends decided to get it done at the same time. With the support of my husband, I started the process to get banded in July '09 and did not get banded until June '10. It was a long and ridiculous wait to get it done and I just didn't think I could get through it. The time FINALLY came and things went smoothly. I lost 21 lbs the first month after surgery and still I felt like the process would take SO LONG. I started out with a goal of wanting to lose 186 pounds. Seemed unreachable. I made a spreadsheet and I count every little fraction of a pound I lose. Some people say that's not good, but what I've found is that over the last 7 months I can see those periods where I felt like the weight was coming off slow and see that all those 10ths of a pound added up and 7 months down the road I am 99 lbs lighter. It gives me motivation. Reading that I make it sound like BAM miracle cure I was banded and YAY I'm skinny! Not even close! I'm not skinny... yet, but I'm sure as heck trying! I have a calorie counter on my phone and I wear that sucker out! I know what I'm eating and what affects my weight loss now. I exercise 4-6 hours a week. I'm not talking a casual walk around the neighborhood here, I'm talking arms swinging, sweat pouring, breathing increased cardio. Just like everyone else when I started this trip I was too tired from work and too tired from my 2 yr old to get a work out in. Things have changed! If I skip out on my exercise I'm miserable and feel guilty! My moto is what sucks to day is a memory tomorrow! I'll get on that treadmill and suck it up today! I remember before I got my band adjusted right that there was no way I could eat as little as they say. Well, here I am again going wow I can't believe that just filled me up. I can't believe I used to eat that ENTIRE burrito plate, chips, and nibble on my hubby's plate. Now if we go out to eat I get a cup of beans and like 6 chips and don't even finish the beans. The waiters are always like did you want something else with that cup of beans and look at me like I'm crazy. This is where SHOCK comes in! My brain goes in to skip mode and I get stuck on a thought. Today it has been wow I'm 99 lbs down. Wow I'm 99 lbs down. OH MY GOD WOW I'm 99 lbs down! I keep rechecking my spreadsheet just to make sure I've got the number right in my head! I keep looking at my weight loss ticker and am amazed that the weight to lose is less than the weight lost! I keep looking at my pictures and going WOW what a difference. I'm proud of my effort and it makes me want to push hard! I wish I had started a blog from the beginning so that I could see those days where I had lows and highs. Oh well woulda shoulda coulda... this is what I have. For anyone out there that thinks the band is the "easy way out" YOU ARE WRONG! A girl told me that once. My thoughts are, well keep your pride and keep your fat, I'll take the lap band

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Finally!

The stupid scale finally moved 6 tenths of a pound down this morning! Took 9 days but whew it feels good to finally see it go down. I was talking with a co worker today who got the sleeve done last week. We were discussing how other people comment on our weight loss and how hard it is for us to see us the way others do. I mean I never saw myself as the 346 lb girl that I was until I started losing weight and now I see it. The problem is now I can't stop seeing myself as the 346 lb girl and i'm 103 lbs lighter! I can see the difference in pictures but in day to day life I think in my head people look at me and see THAT girl and that's how it'll always be. I wonder if other people feel that way.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Woo Hoo You Stupid Scale!

This past month has been the hardest since I was banded. I've posted before I have continued to eat well and exercise, but the scale was being stubborn. I normally lose between 10-12 lbs a month and this month I lost 5.2 lbs. I was also shorted 2-3 days because it's feb lol. Details...   I started reading about interval exercises and decided something had to change because my body was fighting me hard core. I switched from an hour of walking with 15 mins of steady jogging back to a walk to a new interval of fast walking for 2 mins and then jogging for 2 mins for an hour. It worked up a good sweat kept my heart rate up longer and OH MY GOODNESS the scale moves again!   From the start we're told these wonderful plateaus are gonna come. We expect them and when they come we still get down in the dumps and shout at the sky haha. There is hope!Anyone else dealing with this just keep on pushing! Don't let those little bumps that feel like friggin mountains get ya down. That being said... remember I told you that because I'm sure I'll be all boo hoo again at some point.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Weather

I wish the weather would decide what it's going to do! One day it's warm and one day it's cold. It is definitely not being nice to my band! I'm not sure about the rest of you but my band is pretty sensative to barometric pressure changes. I'll survive I guess, I always do. I'm just whining boo hoo.

PJbanster

PJbanster

 

Seriously?

So when I was on my post op liquid diet my husband dropped about 20 lbs because he was living on salads and sandwiches and not actually cooking for himself. Kinda sickening how simple it was for him. I have finally passed him in weight and he decides he wants to lose about 50 lbs. I put him on a diet and now he's starting to catch up to me! He's only 4 lbs heavier than me. I mean I'm glad he's dropping some weight, but man it's like win lose if he catches me on my weight again haha. I guess I'll just take comfort in knowing that EVENTUALLY he won't be able to go as low as me. At least I hope... he's 6'1" and I'm 5'8"   To answer a few questions... I only lost about 7 lbs pre op. 21 lbs the first month post op. I average about 12ish lbs a month. I try to exercise lately anywhere from 3-6 hours a week. I try to keep my calories around 1200 a day. It is challenging to get all the calories in lately, but I try to drink my protein to make up the difference. If I go below 1200 for too long I will usually stall a bit. EVERYONE is different here. You have to learn what works for you.    

PJbanster

PJbanster

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