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Starting this new day....

So I just had my last dietitian visit required by my insurance and now have to wait for approval for the lap-band. I was feeling rather defeated since this month was tough. Not so much because of the Holidays, but I had other things kind of fall apart this month and i watched myself spiral back into old eating behaviors. Packing tons of food on my plate and eating until my stomach hurt, even going back for seconds. Instead of the steady average 5lbs loss I've seen each month since seeing the dietitian, I gained nearly 10lbs. I've got to address the emotional reasons I eat, and find new outlets. Fortunately I had a great dietitian today that was understanding and supportive. Based on our conversation, I've joined this website, and I'm looking to join a support group locally to fully engage in this life choice. I'm looking forward to surgery, I know this is just a tool, and I've still got to do the work, but I just feel like this is going to be a great new start in life. I've spent the last 29 years obese, and I just want to not be fat anymore. I want to run with my kids, I want to play a sport, I want to stop shopping at Lane Bryant because i have to. I want to start taking care of me, and stop putting myself on the shelf while I make sure everyone else needs are met. But today, I'm forgiving myself for not following through with better food choices last month and I give myself room to fail as long as I promise to pick myself up and dust myself off. No New Year's resolutions here, just new life resolutions. Here goes.....

Caramello77

January 4, 2011

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