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About this blog

My thoughts, feelings, just whatever may be in my head.

Entries in this blog

 

Not Yet Dead......

Okay folks, I'm still alive!!!! Of course I knew I would be. All they did was the heart cath, and nothing else. They found a little bit of plaque, but not bad enough to do anything about. They said that my surgery will help that. The only thing is that since I was very combative when I had my endoscopy, they didn't want to sedate me that much in case I was combative once again, because that could be fatal in this type of procedure. So that means I was feeling every bit of pain the entire time. Sure they gave me a little something, but it wasn't enough, so I felt a lot of pain during the procedure. And I'm still hurting. Even though I'm at home, it hurts to walk. But that's okay, I'm healthy. :biggrin1: Well, some great news, my best friend, Derek, showed up today at the hospital, which was awesome. I was wondering if he would. Last night we went to eat, and as we were ordering, he told me his girlfriend was coming, so that kinda blew the night of us hanging out. But he redeemed himself by coming to the hospital today. However, my other good friend that I keep going to see in St. Louis, well, she has never called, didn't email, no messages. Her mother even came and spent time with me at the hospital. Oh well, she is just too self absorbed. I'm used to it. Anyway, I'm happy and all is well. Thank you all for your messages and prayers. You have been great!!!!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

You all are great!!!!

Hello everyone! You guys are awesome! My 2 new friends teresita and Tia have been great. I'm still gonna try to call you soon Tia, I have missed talkin to ya. And of course, Leigh. For those who don't know, this is all Leigh's fault! She is the one that told me about lapband, and gave me this site. I work with her ma at the church. So it's all cuz of her that I have to go under the knife tomorrow! *smiles* Just kidding. I'm glad that this has been found out now. I'm actually looking forward to it because then I will either start to feel a bit better, or I will be very relieved that nothing is wrong with me. I'm not really nervous, more like anxious and excited. I mean, I have to have it done one way or the other, and since it is inevitable, I might as well have high hopes for it, so I am actually looking forward to it because it'll be a new experience, and I shall learn from it. I know, I'm crazy, I used to say that I had papers to prove it, but because of this surgery thing, they have proven that I am sane. Can you believe that, me sane??? Oh well, the psychiatrist must have gotten there license out of the cracker jacks box like me. Anyway, just thought I'd introduce you 3 since you are the ones who keep leaving messages here for me, which I totally love. Thanx to you all! Okay, now I have totally lost my train of thought, I guess I'm done. Bye!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

almost time....

Well, I don't have much to say, except for my heart cath is in less than 2 days. I'm not really nervous, but it does bother me that they think I have a blockage. Oh well, whatever happens, happens. Other than that, thing are going wonderfully.

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

fun fun fun

Well, I had fun yesterday. A friend of mine went with me to St. Louis to see Regina Spektor. Who is Regina Spektor? Well, that was my question too. She is kinda like a female Ben Folds, but not as good, and wierder lyrics. It was like a poetry reading put to not-so-great music. It was nice to get away from the troubles and woes. The concert place was pretty raunchy, and the opening act was a guy who played guitar, with a drum machine, and a fake band playing on the machine. Let me tell you, he really sucked. I am usually polite to someone who is trying. But there were several instances that I laughed out loud. I mean, he really truly sucked big time. I don't know how to get the point across, but he was really bad, very very bad. Anyway, it was a small room, I was afraid to touch anything, there were no chairs, and I mean not 1 in the entire place. And with my wondrous extra weight when you stand for 3 hours, my legs start tingling, then it starts to go numb. Well, I finally found a place to sit: on top of the pool table. Appearantly I started a trend, because within 5 minutes, there were 9 of us on the pool table. Okay, there was one good thing about the place, and that would be that since the music was this off type of thing, so was the audience. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against anyone, but the crowd was made up of a bunch of what some people would call 'freaks.' Well, I have always mixed well with them, and lots are my friends. Well, anyway, I felt at home with them. We were all the same, and nobody looked at me like I was different. I may be fat, but some were covered with piercings, some tatoos, some with 12 colors of hair, and even some really smelled. So I just fit in, but jeez, 250 people in a small room like that, it was crazy, but the pool table was fun. Anyway, the good thing is, is that I didn't catch any diseases!!!!! Yay!!! Well, on Friday, I'm going back up there to see Monty Python's Spamalot. Now that should be awesome! Well, I'm outta here for now. I'll be back when I have more drama. *evil grin*

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Good news, and not so good news

Okay, I had my follow up appointment with my dr. today. I have a surgery date!!! My surgery is scheduled for December 26th. I'm quit excited about it. Things seem to be going quite well. Now for the interesting part. Well, the tests showed that I have asthma, and I got a presricption for it. Yay! Then, there was this other little glitch. My stress test came back with some not so good stuff. Appearantly it was abnormal, and there could be something wrong. So now I have to get a heart cath, and I might need a stint. The doctor of my choice is out of town on vacation. He goes to church with me, and his wife is my voice student, and good friend. So, I will get this done early next week probably. But it sure doesn't sound that good. The dr. said that by the looks of it, I need to get this done quickly. So, now does this suck, or what?

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

playing pool.....

Just got back from playing pool with my good friend. It's the 2nd time this week he has used me to get out, then ditched me for his other friends. Oh well, just another day of being used and abused. But that's okay I'm used to it. I'm actually in a great mood. Monday I have my appointment with my dr. to find out how all of my tests went. I am done with the tests part of it, thankfully. I'm not sure what will happen at the appointment Monday. Hopefully I'll get a surgery date. Does anyone know if you pay for the surgery yourself, is it tax deductable? I'm getting ready to check some threads out to see if there is one about that. Well, I'm gonna go chill for awhile. C-ya!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

a good day...

Well, today was good. Now I don't want you to think that I'm a depressed person, because I'm not. When I get depressed, I'll tell you. I just have to complain about somethings, just to get them off my chest. I do it here, because nobody else will listen to me. I'm very happy with the response I've gotten here. It's a great thing to not feel alone. Anyway, about my friends, let me say that these 2 close friends that I have, aren't the best friends. The only time they call is if they want something, or need me to do something. They never call just to say hello, and this has been going on for awhile. It's not just about the surgery I'm gonna have, but everything. The one, I know nothing has happened with her because I talk to her mom all the time, she tells me how she is doing. The other one just doesn't care about helping me out. They are both very self centered. I would call them, but I always have to call, because the only time they have time for me is when all of their other friends are not there. Don't be me wrong, I'm not upset about this, I am used to being used, it's a way of life for me. I know it shouldn't be, but I'm a giving person, and even if they use me, I will still give to them. That's just me. But I just wanted to clear things up for ya. This journal is actually a great way for me to deal with things. Once again, thanx to you all. Especially Teresita, Thickchick, and Maggie.....you all are great!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

does anyone have any true friends???

Okay, this has nothing to do with the lapband, but I just have to let it out. I have 2 friends that I consider my best friends. I haven't heard from 1 of them in over a week. And the other one, after we plan to get together, he makes plans with his other friends, ends up ditching me, then he shows up tonight to play in the band like he was on drugs. What the f*** is he thinking. I mean, he totally stunk tonight. Of course, he will never tell me that he does drugs. Okay, I know I sound like a prude, and maybe I am, but that's me. I have had other friends who were on drugs, and they were open about it. I at least knew where we both stood. If he would just quit lieing to me about that and other things, maybe we could get over it. Well, that's my rant for the night. Maybe my 'best friend' is still out there somewhere waiting for me....oh well, it happens.

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

another one bites the dust.....

Well, I had my endoscopy yesterday. That was fun. I was all loopy and stuff, then when I was done I had to play for 2 funerals at church. Now that was exciting. The choir didn't know what to expect from me. I think I played the theme to Gilligan's Island. But I don't recall much of what went on. I do know that the choir had to keep reminding me where I was. I love playing with them. They are so gullable. Now Leigh Ann, don't tell your mama I said that. I wasn't talkin' 'bout her. Anyway, get this: my 2 best friends who I tell just about everything to don't even call and ask how the tests are going, or how I'm doing. Ain't that just nifty! One is on drugs, and the other just probably don't care that much, at least that is what it seems like. Oh well, I'm used to it. At least I have you all to make me feel better, and no I'm not writing this just to get feedback, I'm just sayin' it. Well, other than that, things are going wonderfully. I have a week off with no dr.'s visits and no tests. I just have to start my diet. I will as soon as I have time to go shopping. Of course, first I have to study all the literature so I know what to buy. So complicated!!! It happens. Well, I'm outta here. Lata guys and gals.

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Psych

Well, I had my psych test, and I think we both passed!!! :clap2: I told her that I studied for it, and she laughed, so I knew it was gonna be great. I had my class today on the liver shrinkage diet that they put us on before the surgery. We go on this diet for 30 days to shrink the liver so it is easier to operate. Has anyone heard of this? Or what did you have to do? I don't have a clue. Of course, I spend most of my life like that, so what's new? Anyway, it's been a good day. It seems to be moving right along. We shall see how it goes. Lata!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

lots to catch up on.....

Okay, let's see, where to begin..... Well, I went to St. Louis this past week for a couple days. Was gonna get to see Indigo Girls, and Five For Fighting, but I didn't quite make it to either. We watched the Cardinal's game on Thursday at Pujols5 restaurant, which was awesome, then my friend had to watch the game the next night, so I came home concertless, but that's okay, things happen. At least, I had some good food and such. Well, I had a retreat all weekend long at church. I was working it. I had to be one of the energetic folks that made people laugh and get excited. If you can imagine thins....a 400 pound guy running round a huge circle giving everyone a hi-5, and doing this time and time again. Well, that's what I did. Sure I was out of breath, but they have never seen a fat guy run like that before. The col., our priest, thought I was gonna run him down. Well, I showed him, he was quite shocked that I was in that good of shape. Oh the good times. Ok, now for the upcoming tests. My dr. is having me go on a liver shrinkage diet for 4 weeks before my surgery, so tomorrow I am attending that class to find out about that. Now that should be exciting, hopefully, I won't fall asleep. *zzzzzz* Maybe I'll just record it and listen to it later, just in case. Oh yeah, and before that, I have my psych test. Oh yeah, and so do I, and me too. Oops, sorry bout that, those voices just won't shut up. Okay, now sweriously, I'm looking forward to this test. I have been studying for this for quite awhile now. I even have some cheat sheets that I will take with me. At least, I'm not writing the answers on my hand, yeah, they caught me on that one at the last psych test. At least I got a neat little jacket to wear after it. It was great, I could even bounce off the walls. I think I mentioned that last week, I had a couple other tests. I had a nuclear stress test that was medicine induced. Well, I had dinner tonight with the dr. that did that test. He said it looked great, nothing to worry about. Yeah, the heart doctor is a friend of mine. I teach his wife voice lessons, and she sings in my choir at church. At least when i'm going downhill, I'll have him there to save me. By the way, the hospital he works at was rated #1 in the nation for the heart care area, and he is there top dr. Makes me feel kinda special. Now if I only had his jaguar to drive. *evil laugh* Okay, I'm upset, I couldn't find an evil laugh on this darn thing, do they not have an evil laugh??? What kind of setup is this. I think I'll file a complaint. I mean, hundreds of smiles but not one evil laugh? What is this world coming to? I gotta go sleep this one off, talk to you later! *slams door*

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

tests....

Well, I had some tests today at the hospital. I had my stress test and pulminary function test. Not bad, but it took forever. I also met with the nutritionist. It sure seems like the day is getting closer. Don't have a date yet, but things are coming along very well. It's been a good day.

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Howdy

Well, there's not much to mention, just a long day. I should have something to putu in here Tuesday night about my process. On Tuesday morning, i have 2 different tests and seeing my nutritionist that day. But until then, I wanted to let you all know that I do appreciate everyone's coments. Feel free to say whatever you feel. *smiles*

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Another Good Day

Hello one and all! I have had another good day. Of course I played for a funeral, went to church, to play, then went to see Capital Steps with my folks. Very nice day, but geez, I'm tired. I shoulda gone straight to bed last night when I got home. Well, anyway, the Cardinals won tonight, so that makes me happy!!! Now don't think I'm a crazy crazy fan. A friend got me into it, and I am enjoying it. We might be watching the Thursday night game at Pujols5 restaurant in St. Louis. Now that should be fun. Well, I just wanted to put my 2 cents in for the day. Later all!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Rockapella!!!

What a great night! I went to see Rockapella, and they were totally awesome! I'm real big into concerts and musicals and artsy stuff. I took my friend that I had mentioned. She at least thought enough of me to give me some of her home made bread. That was sweet. :hungry: She knows how much I love bread. Yeah, I know, that will have to stop. No problem. I'm easing down on the bread thing. Well, the conversation never got to how I was doing with all this. We had a 2 1/2 hour drive to the concert, so we had plenty of time to talk. After an hour and a half, I finally mentioned something about my doctor appointment, yeah, I know I let it slip. It was only then that she asked how things were going 'with that.' That's why I hate having close friends, do they really care? Do they even have a freakin' clue??? Somebody please tell me!!!! Anyway, the concert was great. If you don't remember them, they did the Carmen Sandiego show. Remember that? Well, afterwards, I got to talk to them, and I loved every minute of it. As a musician myself, I can truly appreciate every little thing that goes into a concert and music like this. They are amazing. You should definitely check them out if you haven't. http://www.rockapella.com/ They totally rock!!!!! :clap2: Well, one nice thing was that there wasn't someone sitting in the seat next to me at the concert. I hate getting those terrible looks like, 'Oh God, it's a fat guy, he better not touch me!' Get over it you skinny little piece of...... Well, you get the picture. So I was happy about that. Well, I'm off to bed now, I have a funeral to play for in the morning, oh don't apologize, it's my job, I didn't know them. Good night all!!!!!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Good Day

Well, it's a good day. I had my first couple of tests today, quite painless. Which is what I like. I say, 'No pain? Hey, no pain!!!! *smile*' Okay, I know it's stupid, but I like stupid humor. Anyway, just to let you all know, I'm keeping this a pretty big secret. Even when I get the surgery done, I'm not telling hardly anyone. I have a very few friends who I have told, but not many. So count yourselves lucky! Every time they know I'm on a diet, they start telling me how good I look cuz of the weight I've lost. most of the time, I have gained weight, or stayed the same. It just shows that they really don't know, or care enough to know. Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I have this really close friend, adn we do lots and lots of things together. She is probably my closest friend right now. Yes, just friend, I know what you were thinking. Well anyway, I told her about me doing this surgery thing, and she supports me totally. However, after I originally told her, I haven't brought it up again, except to say that I was going to my first dr's appointment. Well, I'm still waiting on her to ask how that went. It's like she just doesn't care about what's going on inside of me. Just another one of my 'friends' who could care less if I'm okay, or not. Well, I'm tired of chasing after my friends, and continually trying to bring them into my life. If they want to know anything, they need to go out of their way and ask me! At least a simple, "How are you doing?" or "Are you okay?" or how about, "How did your dr's appointment go? Oh, and I haven't even mentioned all those people at church who just love to talk about me, and put me down in anything I do in my personal life. And some of them are supposedly my good friends. One of them asked me to go out to eat with them the other night. What a hypocrit!!!!! Okay, enough complaining, I'm actually in a good mood. I just love complaining. Keep reading, and I'm sure you will hear lots, probably even things you don't want to know! Cheers!!!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

Initial Meeting.....

Ok, yesterday I found out that my insurance is not going to cover the surgery. It's because my company has excluded it. I have spoken with both the insurance and the company I work for. I dont' believe I will have much luck with it. This really discouraged me. However, today, I went for my initial appointment with Dr. Argotte, who will do the surgery. It went very well. I have the first 10 tests scheduled that are needed. It seems like things are moving right along. So today, I am very excited, and things look much better today. I can't believe that this is moving along as quickly as it is. I am about to enter a new phase of my life, and I thought I wouldn't be entering a new phase for a long time. So tomorrow, I go for my first couple tests. I shall let you know how things go. Thanx for reading!!!

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

 

My first day here.....

Well, here I am, making my first journal entry here. What to say??? hmmmm..... Well, let's see, let's just get caught up to where I am. Well, I've always been overweight, and I have always been treated as such. I am an optimist, which has helped me through, because if I weren't, who knows where I'd be now. Life has been cruel to me in some aspects. It's hard when, no matter where you go, the main thing you are known for is that you're fat. I'm known as the funny fat guy who always has a smile, and never gets the girl. I know, kinda sad and depressing, but it's just a fact. I have tried everything else, and now it's time for the last resort. In most aspects of my life, things are great. I have a good career, I'm talented, successful, fun to be around, and in general, pretty darn good. The only thing missing is to have someone to share my life with. That special someone. It's time to make a change.

DouglasP13

DouglasP13

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