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About this blog

My thoughts, feelings, just whatever may be in my head.

Entries in this blog

 

almost time....

Well, I don't have much to say, except for my heart cath is in less than 2 days. I'm not really nervous, but it does bother me that they think I have a blockage. Oh well, whatever happens, happens. Other than that, thing are going wonderfully.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

6
 

shopping

Well, I just got back from wal-mart, and did my shopping to start my liver shrinkage diet. I'm even excited about that, am I crazy or what? At least there is some good food I can have on this diet. I also bought the movie 'The DaVinci Code' I've listened to the book and saw the movie. They are both great, but you can't compare them because they are so different. The movie is great in it's own rite, but the book is so much more in depth. Yeah, I'm one of those who don't compare the books to the movies. I love movies way too much to do that. If I did that, I would never watch another movie again for as long as I live. Well, walking around wal mart for an hour just killed my leg. I'm not supposed to walk that much after the surgery cuz it might bleed out, but I was very very careful. It took like 10 trips in from the car with what I bought. I can't life over 10 pounds for like 2 weeks. That could either suck, or it might just be awesome cuz people will have to do things for me. So, I guess I love it, but then again, I'm a hard worker, and I dont' like to ask for help, so it will be hart. Oh jeez, what a contradiction!?!?! I don't know what to do. I've always had that problem. I'm a perfectionist, and I'm also a procrastinator. So it has to be perfect.....tomorrow! Yeah, I get so confused at times. Do I clean, or do I sit on my butt and watch tv??? Well, I guess since I'm on here gettin' this surgery, you know which one I did the most? But anyway, there were lots of people at the hospital for me when I had my heart cath, which was wonderful! And there were lots more that called, and wanted to stay out of my way, but they were equally concerned. I appreciate each and everyone of them so very much. However, lets talk for a moment about the 2 that aren't at the top of the list...... 1st, my best friend Derek, okay, so he came to the hospital and stayed with me longer than most anyone else did, except my parents, but he was supposed to call me today so we could do something. Guess what??? He didn't call, he didn't even answer his cell phone when I called him, or his home phone. I guess he just got too tied up in things to call. Right, the lazy fool, he probably got a call from his girlfriend, and totally forgot about me, but he at least was there when I needed him for my surgery. You see, one day he is awesome, the next he sux!!! 2nd, my friend that I visit all the time, and spend quite a bit of money on. Let's see, did she come and see me? No! Her mother did, she spent 5 hours at the hospital with me. Did she call her mom to see how I was doing? No. Did she call me to see how I was doing? No. Did she at least call me in the previous week to let me know that she was worried? No. Did she text me asking how I was? No. Did she even message me on msn? No. And she was even there when I was online. I know it cuz her message kept changing with things on it that only she would put. Sounds to me like she don't give a hoot about me, doesn't it sound that way to you? Just agree with me, especially when I'm on a roll, okay? Now get this.....her dad has been in training for the past 3 months, and he finally got a leave to come home for Thanksgiving. In a couple months he will be shipped out to Iraq. Okay, so you think she would want to spend some time with him this weekend, right? Nope! She is leaving on Friday to go to a Broadway musical, that she has seen 6 or so times already, with a friend of hers, instead of spending time with her dad who may not be home before he gets shipped out. She may never see him again, you just never know. Does this sound a little self-absorbed to you? Yeah, it does to me too, and her mother feels the same way. I can't stand people who are selfish. It really bothers me. So, have I complained enough? By the way, let me explain something. I don't ever complain to anyone I know. I keep it all inside because I don't want to complain about people. That's why I have to let it out here. I'm not really a jerk, I just sound like one from time to time. Anyway, I'll shut up now........g'nite!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

6
 

Good news, and not so good news

Okay, I had my follow up appointment with my dr. today. I have a surgery date!!! My surgery is scheduled for December 26th. I'm quit excited about it. Things seem to be going quite well. Now for the interesting part. Well, the tests showed that I have asthma, and I got a presricption for it. Yay! Then, there was this other little glitch. My stress test came back with some not so good stuff. Appearantly it was abnormal, and there could be something wrong. So now I have to get a heart cath, and I might need a stint. The doctor of my choice is out of town on vacation. He goes to church with me, and his wife is my voice student, and good friend. So, I will get this done early next week probably. But it sure doesn't sound that good. The dr. said that by the looks of it, I need to get this done quickly. So, now does this suck, or what?
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

Day...uhh...20, yeah, that's it

Where has the time gone??? I have been going crazy. Trying to get 3 music programs ready for Christmas, cooking correctly for this diet, preparing for surgery, oh yeah, and trying to rest. It is crazy right now. I am sorry that I haven't kept up with this lately. I'm sorry I haven't called you Tia, or messaged youTeresita, or you Leighann. This is the first chance I have had to get on here and do anything. Thanx for the email Tia, you always brighten my day. Anyway, I have kept my weight off that I have lost. Haven't lost much more, if any, but I have been sticking pretty close to the diet. Somedays it was just too hard to eat right, like when you are working 14 straight hours, and in the middle of it there is a dinner in the church hall that you have to be at. But you should all be proud, I only had 1 plate full....well, the first time, the next dinner, I might have had 2 plates, but I have been doing pretty good besides that. At least I haven't gained any of it back. Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone else. Take care!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

You all are great!!!!

Hello everyone! You guys are awesome! My 2 new friends teresita and Tia have been great. I'm still gonna try to call you soon Tia, I have missed talkin to ya. And of course, Leigh. For those who don't know, this is all Leigh's fault! She is the one that told me about lapband, and gave me this site. I work with her ma at the church. So it's all cuz of her that I have to go under the knife tomorrow! *smiles* Just kidding. I'm glad that this has been found out now. I'm actually looking forward to it because then I will either start to feel a bit better, or I will be very relieved that nothing is wrong with me. I'm not really nervous, more like anxious and excited. I mean, I have to have it done one way or the other, and since it is inevitable, I might as well have high hopes for it, so I am actually looking forward to it because it'll be a new experience, and I shall learn from it. I know, I'm crazy, I used to say that I had papers to prove it, but because of this surgery thing, they have proven that I am sane. Can you believe that, me sane??? Oh well, the psychiatrist must have gotten there license out of the cracker jacks box like me. Anyway, just thought I'd introduce you 3 since you are the ones who keep leaving messages here for me, which I totally love. Thanx to you all! Okay, now I have totally lost my train of thought, I guess I'm done. Bye!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

Happy Day after Thanxgiving!

Well, I had a good day. I did some shopping. Didn't buy much, just got out in the traffic like all the other crazy folks. I went to the shooting range and let off some steam, and then I went to a friend's house to eat dinner and have fun. I got to do my magic show for them, and then we did some music. Lots of fun. I'm pretty sure I stumped most of them on some of my magic tricks. Plus, the best part of the whole evening was that I found out Leighhoffmans's favorite song. So when she messages here, you need to message her with the lyrics to the song. It's called 'Fr. Abraham.' Here are the words: Fr. Abraham had many sons, many sons had Fr. Abraham. I am one of them, and so are you, so let's just praise the Lord: with the right arm, with the left arm....and so forth. She will just love you all so much if you mention that to her. I know, we should start a thread just for her. That's what I think I'll do! *evil laugh*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

Day 30......tomorrow's the day!!!

Well, tomorrow is the day, and I'm excited. Not nervous yet, but then again, I don't get nervous about things like this. I had my 24 hours of clear liquids, and I didn't cheat at all. I know, I can't believe it either! Anyway, Thank you Tia, Teresita, and Leigh, you all have been great, I'm sure I'll make it through with no problems, but just in case, you all mean a lot to me. Now that that is out of the way, I'm heading to bed now, gotta get up in 5 hours to get ready for this thing. Anyway, I'm happy and excited. I shall talk to you all when I get back home in a couple days. Lata! *big hugs*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

Well, I did it.....

Well, I did it. Can't believe I actually went through with it. But it's great! My surgery went very well, with no complications. I'm just sore right now, nothing out of the ordinary, but you know I like to complain cuz I'm a whiner, and a wuss. Yeah, that's right, I'm proud of it, I'm a big baby. Actually, I'm doing just great! But I'm gonna go lay down again. Talk to ya all lata! Tia, thanx for the message! *smiles*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
 

playing pool.....

Just got back from playing pool with my good friend. It's the 2nd time this week he has used me to get out, then ditched me for his other friends. Oh well, just another day of being used and abused. But that's okay I'm used to it. I'm actually in a great mood. Monday I have my appointment with my dr. to find out how all of my tests went. I am done with the tests part of it, thankfully. I'm not sure what will happen at the appointment Monday. Hopefully I'll get a surgery date. Does anyone know if you pay for the surgery yourself, is it tax deductable? I'm getting ready to check some threads out to see if there is one about that. Well, I'm gonna go chill for awhile. C-ya!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Things are well

Well, how is everyone doing out there in LapLand? I am doing great. I had my appointment with my dr. today, and they said that everything was looking good. I have been maintaining my weightloss, and they said that I have lost more than most anyone at this point. Appearantly, I'm doing good with my diet since I don't even have a fill yet. I have been keeping busy with work, and trying to stay out of trouble. It is very hard when people are out to stab you in the back. It's like I constantly have to defend myself, and watch my backside. I'm getting tired of it. And worse yet, this is going on at a church! I know it happens, but it shouldn't. I try to do the right thing, and work hard, and someone is always there to try to find every little thing they can that I'm not doing the way they want, and then they run to the pastor and tell him about it. If she would just keep her nose out of everyone else's business, things would go smoother. For God's sake, get a life! Okay, I'm glad I got that off my shoulder. But, I'm doing great, and I'm keeping a good spirit about things. No problems yet.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

fun fun fun

Well, I had fun yesterday. A friend of mine went with me to St. Louis to see Regina Spektor. Who is Regina Spektor? Well, that was my question too. She is kinda like a female Ben Folds, but not as good, and wierder lyrics. It was like a poetry reading put to not-so-great music. It was nice to get away from the troubles and woes. The concert place was pretty raunchy, and the opening act was a guy who played guitar, with a drum machine, and a fake band playing on the machine. Let me tell you, he really sucked. I am usually polite to someone who is trying. But there were several instances that I laughed out loud. I mean, he really truly sucked big time. I don't know how to get the point across, but he was really bad, very very bad. Anyway, it was a small room, I was afraid to touch anything, there were no chairs, and I mean not 1 in the entire place. And with my wondrous extra weight when you stand for 3 hours, my legs start tingling, then it starts to go numb. Well, I finally found a place to sit: on top of the pool table. Appearantly I started a trend, because within 5 minutes, there were 9 of us on the pool table. Okay, there was one good thing about the place, and that would be that since the music was this off type of thing, so was the audience. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against anyone, but the crowd was made up of a bunch of what some people would call 'freaks.' Well, I have always mixed well with them, and lots are my friends. Well, anyway, I felt at home with them. We were all the same, and nobody looked at me like I was different. I may be fat, but some were covered with piercings, some tatoos, some with 12 colors of hair, and even some really smelled. So I just fit in, but jeez, 250 people in a small room like that, it was crazy, but the pool table was fun. Anyway, the good thing is, is that I didn't catch any diseases!!!!! Yay!!! Well, on Friday, I'm going back up there to see Monty Python's Spamalot. Now that should be awesome! Well, I'm outta here for now. I'll be back when I have more drama. *evil grin*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

My first day here.....

Well, here I am, making my first journal entry here. What to say??? hmmmm..... Well, let's see, let's just get caught up to where I am. Well, I've always been overweight, and I have always been treated as such. I am an optimist, which has helped me through, because if I weren't, who knows where I'd be now. Life has been cruel to me in some aspects. It's hard when, no matter where you go, the main thing you are known for is that you're fat. I'm known as the funny fat guy who always has a smile, and never gets the girl. I know, kinda sad and depressing, but it's just a fact. I have tried everything else, and now it's time for the last resort. In most aspects of my life, things are great. I have a good career, I'm talented, successful, fun to be around, and in general, pretty darn good. The only thing missing is to have someone to share my life with. That special someone. It's time to make a change.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Greetings Strangers

Well, it's been over a month since I have been here. I'm sure people hate me now. Not really, I actually believe that you are all good people, and will forgive me for being gone for so long. Let's catch up. It's been 2 and a half months since my surgery, and I've lost a total of 58 pounds. That is totally awesome, I think. I still don't have a fill yet. I saw my doctor today and since my weight loss is going as planned, I don't need a fill yet. which is good because I can pig out if I want to. I know, I'm not supposed to, and I don't actually eat that much when I pig out, just more than usual, or should. But I have lost about 10 pounds since my visit to the doctor last month, and they say that we are supposed to lose about 10 pounds a month, so that is great. I've been dealing with a lot at work lately. The parish administrator has been after me lately. She tries to get me fired, and complains about everything that I do. But not to my face, she talks bad about me to everyone else, then is as nice as can be to my face. I dislike two-faced people like that. I try my best, and try not to hurt anyone, and do what is right, and all I get is stabbed in the back. She used to be a good friend of mine. There is this other lady who is after me as well. Yeah, they are good friends. It's like they get together and come up with things that will get to me. All I can do is pray for them. I just wish this anger wasn't inside me. Anyway, as far as other things, all is going well. I have decided to lose my weight before I ask anyone out. I don't know, it's just that lately, I really don't want to date anyone, I just want to get healthier and look better. Well, I hope you all are doing well too. I hope to hear from you, but I understand if I don't. Take care, and I love you all.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Day 25....it's going......

Well, I have been naughty.....and it feels GREAT!!!!! *evil laugh* Okay, not that naughty, except that I will be on Unjury shakes all day tomorrow to pay for today. I'm still between 25 and 30 pounds weight loss for the pre-op diet. Not bad. I've only got a week to go. I'm so very excited. It should be good. Of course, I think I'm looking forward mostly to the 2 weeks off. Now, it won't be a full 2 weeks. I'll have to show up to work a little. Oh well, it happens.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

uh....well....another good day *bashful smile*

Well, things are going well. It looks like my weight loss is about 50 pounds now. And that is still having that candy bar the other night. I am not splurging, nor am I hungry, nor do I crave stuff. I am doing great!!! I'm so happy that things are going smoothly. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Luv ya all!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Diet.....day 2

Well, day 2 has come and gone. Things went pretty well for me today. Tonight at church they had baked spaghetti, so I had a very very small portion of it. Of course, that meant that I couldn't have my dinner like I planned since there was too much sodium in that very small portion. Oh well, I had a couple grapes, and I'm feeling great. Oh well, I'll c ya lata.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

okay, it was good

I went to work today, and it felt good. No problem whatsoever. Things are good cuz people are noticing my weightloss. *happy dance*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Day 3.....a great day...

Okay, first let me say that it's a great day because I had this big bowl of banana pudding! It is low fat and low in sodium, but a little high on the calories, so I had to skimp the rest of the day, but I did it! Yay for me! And (((hugz))) back to you Tia! Someday, that will be in person. And the sodium count thingy, Teresita, is this: salt, or sodium, makes the liver fatter. Alcahol does the same thing. So they put us on a 30 day to shrink the liver. Very low sodium. Once I was on vacation, and I had so many sodas that my feet swelled. The dr. said that was because the sodium intake was so much higher at that time. So, if you shrink the liver by not consuming much sodium, it helps to clean out your system of unwanted toxins, and with a smaller liver, it is easier to get to the stomach. My dr. is real good about taking precautions. He is the only dr. that I have heard of that does this diet like this. There will be less problems in the surgery, and your body will acclimate to the lap band more easliy this way. I think I have a wonderful dr. Anyway, thanx for reading you two, you are awesome! And of course, so are you leigh....Fr. Abraham had many sons.......*evil grin* For those who don't know, which is all of you, I found out this past weekend that she hates that song, and it is now stuck in her head, so I am tormenting her with it. *bigger evil grin* I am so proud of myself. You should all check out the thread on Fr. Abraham. It's great! Well, ta ta for now!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Day 4......*smiles*

Okay, maybe I'm just an optimist, but it's been a good day once again! I have lost 20 pounds so far. I stuck to the diet, and I'm hungry right now. No biggie, I have some sugar free jello, I'm getting ready to munch on. And it feels good!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

lots to catch up on.....

Okay, let's see, where to begin..... Well, I went to St. Louis this past week for a couple days. Was gonna get to see Indigo Girls, and Five For Fighting, but I didn't quite make it to either. We watched the Cardinal's game on Thursday at Pujols5 restaurant, which was awesome, then my friend had to watch the game the next night, so I came home concertless, but that's okay, things happen. At least, I had some good food and such. Well, I had a retreat all weekend long at church. I was working it. I had to be one of the energetic folks that made people laugh and get excited. If you can imagine thins....a 400 pound guy running round a huge circle giving everyone a hi-5, and doing this time and time again. Well, that's what I did. Sure I was out of breath, but they have never seen a fat guy run like that before. The col., our priest, thought I was gonna run him down. Well, I showed him, he was quite shocked that I was in that good of shape. Oh the good times. Ok, now for the upcoming tests. My dr. is having me go on a liver shrinkage diet for 4 weeks before my surgery, so tomorrow I am attending that class to find out about that. Now that should be exciting, hopefully, I won't fall asleep. *zzzzzz* Maybe I'll just record it and listen to it later, just in case. Oh yeah, and before that, I have my psych test. Oh yeah, and so do I, and me too. Oops, sorry bout that, those voices just won't shut up. Okay, now sweriously, I'm looking forward to this test. I have been studying for this for quite awhile now. I even have some cheat sheets that I will take with me. At least, I'm not writing the answers on my hand, yeah, they caught me on that one at the last psych test. At least I got a neat little jacket to wear after it. It was great, I could even bounce off the walls. I think I mentioned that last week, I had a couple other tests. I had a nuclear stress test that was medicine induced. Well, I had dinner tonight with the dr. that did that test. He said it looked great, nothing to worry about. Yeah, the heart doctor is a friend of mine. I teach his wife voice lessons, and she sings in my choir at church. At least when i'm going downhill, I'll have him there to save me. By the way, the hospital he works at was rated #1 in the nation for the heart care area, and he is there top dr. Makes me feel kinda special. Now if I only had his jaguar to drive. *evil laugh* Okay, I'm upset, I couldn't find an evil laugh on this darn thing, do they not have an evil laugh??? What kind of setup is this. I think I'll file a complaint. I mean, hundreds of smiles but not one evil laugh? What is this world coming to? I gotta go sleep this one off, talk to you later! *slams door*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Day 5......

Okay, I hate this darn laptop. I accidentally hit the go back button, and just erased my entire entry. Grrrrr.... Okay, let me say it again. Diet went great! I love cooking with all those seasonings. Food is great. I maintained my weight through the day. I went to my dr.'s office today, and they remembered me and answered my questions without a problem. They were wonderful. Okay, now my best friend. And yes, I use the term loosely. I not only found out that he has been lieing to me more, and everyone else, but he tells another of his friends that he is his best friend. Now isn't that a crock?!?!? Oh well, I'm used to it. But I'm not letting him use me again. Okay, I'm in the hospital again tomorrow. I have to get the IVC filter in to take care of any blood clots that may happen. I'll just be there about 4 of 5 hours. Anyway, I'm tired and have to get up at 5:00 in the morning. I'm going to bed. Lata!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

another one bites the dust.....

Well, I had my endoscopy yesterday. That was fun. I was all loopy and stuff, then when I was done I had to play for 2 funerals at church. Now that was exciting. The choir didn't know what to expect from me. I think I played the theme to Gilligan's Island. But I don't recall much of what went on. I do know that the choir had to keep reminding me where I was. I love playing with them. They are so gullable. Now Leigh Ann, don't tell your mama I said that. I wasn't talkin' 'bout her. Anyway, get this: my 2 best friends who I tell just about everything to don't even call and ask how the tests are going, or how I'm doing. Ain't that just nifty! One is on drugs, and the other just probably don't care that much, at least that is what it seems like. Oh well, I'm used to it. At least I have you all to make me feel better, and no I'm not writing this just to get feedback, I'm just sayin' it. Well, other than that, things are going wonderfully. I have a week off with no dr.'s visits and no tests. I just have to start my diet. I will as soon as I have time to go shopping. Of course, first I have to study all the literature so I know what to buy. So complicated!!! It happens. Well, I'm outta here. Lata guys and gals.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

well...it was....good...*smiles*

Okay, I'm still waiting to have a bad day. I'm waiting for the depression...the unhappiness to what I can't eat. Is it ever gonna hit me? Anyway, I went to the Lap Band Support Group tonight at the hospital, and it was wonderful. We just sat around talking. It was great! Of course, not as great as tia, teresita, leigh, and my new friend athina. You all are awesome! I told them about you and some of them said they'll stop by to see what's up. Anyway, I'm keeping very busy with work, both jobs. It never seems to stop. I'm running constantly. Oh well, it happens. Just know that I'm thinking about you all! *hugz*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

Day 8......'Playing with Thumbs'

Okay, I've been playing with my thumbs. Now what? *smile* Okay, so I'm not bored anymore. Yesterday and today went quite well. The poundage is still the same. I actually put up some Christmas decorations. Can you believe it? It's been a few years since I have done that. Guess I'm more excited this year. My internet was out for the past couple days, just got it working, so that is fun. Not much else anything of any consequence. Just that even though I don't talk to ya all much, I can still feel your support! Thanx to all! *humming* Fr. Abraham, had many sons...........
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
 

does anyone have any true friends???

Okay, this has nothing to do with the lapband, but I just have to let it out. I have 2 friends that I consider my best friends. I haven't heard from 1 of them in over a week. And the other one, after we plan to get together, he makes plans with his other friends, ends up ditching me, then he shows up tonight to play in the band like he was on drugs. What the f*** is he thinking. I mean, he totally stunk tonight. Of course, he will never tell me that he does drugs. Okay, I know I sound like a prude, and maybe I am, but that's me. I have had other friends who were on drugs, and they were open about it. I at least knew where we both stood. If he would just quit lieing to me about that and other things, maybe we could get over it. Well, that's my rant for the night. Maybe my 'best friend' is still out there somewhere waiting for me....oh well, it happens.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
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