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About this blog

My Lap Band experience

Entries in this blog

 

What else can I blend?

I am taking full advantage of my ge personal blender that I have talked about before on my blog. My husband keeps saying "i told you you needed a magic bullet" So glad he found this one a lot cheaper and just as good. So anyway today is post op day three. Feeling better the pain is getting better every minute starting to feel like I have a little energy. This morning a friend on LBT said she had some oatmeal so of course I looked in my band bible and there it was Oatmeal. So Jason <my husband> had to go to the store STAT. Maple brown sugar warm and I may have made it a little thick but i blended it in my GE blender and mixed a little protein powder <unflavored of course> and yummy heaven!!! I am sure I ate too much and too fast but I only ate like a fourth of a cup. Then I swallowed my water wrong and oh lord the coughing fit that followed i thought I would bust open and don't me started on my first sneeze post op that happened this morning with no warning or ability to guard my tummy. I have come up with some creative protein shakes but can not seem to get the portion size right and always have a lot left over and not sure how much of the protein powder I am getting. I guess it is all trial and error and mind set. I use to always say my eyes are bigger then my stomach and now I guess it is true. I am going to have to pretend I am fixing a plate for a two year old instead of myself. I will tackle another shower in a little while and hope that I have the energy to wash my hair. Having trouble as well fitting in vitamins and water and protein and everything else that is required. I guess it is trial and error and its only day three. Hope all is finding my fellow banders well this morning. I guess my wisdom for today....   Patience and the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown -Chinese Proverb     xoxoxo Rach  
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

9
 

Until now...

Until now I have always been Rachel a 27 year old married registered nurse, aka Priss (yes don't laugh) to my mother, and Nay Nay to my nephew. May of 2009 I decided to visit a lap band seminar after a life time of being over weight. I have never known anything but being over weight and all the package had to offer. There I was in the seminar and for the first time I looked around and realized right then in that room I was no longer Rachel, I was no longer a nurse, I was not affectionately nay nay. My entire existence and purpose for being in that room was I am Morbidly Obese. What was this? These two dirty little words felt like they summed up completely who I was. No longer did I feel the pride of things I had accomplished in my 27 years. Graduating high school or rather living through the pure hell of high school, finishing college, starting my career, owning my own home by the time I was 23, or marrying my husband. My weight effects every aspect of my life be it my job, my personal life, my daily activities. So great here I am.... Rachel, a 27 year old Morbidly Obese female on my journey of rediscovery, weight loss, and learning who I really am and what I am made of. Find me Jan 25th I will be Rachel... Banded...
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

7
 

Two weeks post op

So I am 2 weeks post op yesterday. My weight in missed the 40lbs spot by 1.2lbs so I was very happy with the results. Still having some strange pain in my stomach and my hematoma over my port site is still present but that does not bother me unless trying to lay on my side. I celebrated by going and buying zumba fitness for ps3 and tested it out this morning. OMG it totally kicked my butt. I had not ate yet today and was able to get about 15 mins of a 20 min work out done before I felt like I was going to faint so I decided I better eat and try again later. I may need to stick to walking for a little while and just learning the steps of the zumba it seemed to make my pain a little worse in my stomach hopefully I havn't done too much and messed up my band or something. But I am trying to be more active and hopefully meet my goal of 50lbs by the time my post op appointment on the 14th. Anyway just a little update for now... hope you guys are doing okay. I can't take the protein shakes so I am picking protein rich foods to eat like for breakfast I will eat a egg with low fat cheese, lunch a cheese wedge and chicken salad things like that to keep my protein level intact good. Still not drinking the amounts I need to be and having a hard time adjusting to getting in these vitamins but I am still a work in progress.. Time to go pass out after that work out!!!!
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

3
 

Surgery and Day 1 post op

Well I made it and survived. I got to the hospital at 7 am and they quickly wanted me instead of having surgery at 9 I went in about 8. Took them a few times to get the IV but other then that prep went okay. Except some mean lady who wouldn't let my mom in to see me before surgery. <As I mentioned in my first blog I am a BIG mommas baby> Everyone else had family in the room didn't understand why she wouldn't let me. Anyway got to the operating room and the guys in there were cutting up with me and then came the versed. Oh the wonderful versed. I don't remember anything after that but waking up in recovery. I heard someone say "shes acting a little crazy" and I could feel me kicking. But I knew that would happen I am always in a panic waking up from anesthesia and feel like I am smothering. But I had a really nice nurse in recovery that was very reassuring and worked with me to make me comfortable with pain and breathing. I got to my room about 1130-12 with my mom and husband and they immediately let me start walking around as soon as I got good and awake which helped. Had a scary moment where my port site started bleeding through but they told me that was normal since they had given me a blood thinner called lovonox before surgery and that was my biggest incision. It continued bleeding over night but has since stopped. I was released about 4 and got home and settled in. My husband had a little trouble with the pharmacy they put the wrong date on my prescriptions and wouldn't feel it. When he told them I just had surgery the reply he got was "well then shes probably still doped up anyway and wont need it." Thankfully I was able to get a hold of my doctor and he got it fixed for me and needless to say there is a call into corporate by my husband to walgreens that lady would not even bother to help us. I am okay today just hurts to cough or get up and down starting to have a little gas pain but I am tolerating liquids fine. Just trying to keep hydrated. Other then that I am alive and survived. Remain in a lot of pain but trying to keep on top of my pain meds and get plenty of rest for that. Hope everyone that was band yesterday and today are doing well. Will update on my progress as I go. Oh btw My scale is pretty much accurate I weighted after surgery and my weight was down 21 lbs to 359 and that was after a lot of fluids in surgery. woot! On my way.. xoxoxo Rach
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

0
 

Surgery and Day 1 post op

Well I made it and survived. I got to the hospital at 7 am and they quickly wanted me instead of having surgery at 9 I went in about 8. Took them a few times to get the IV but other then that prep went okay. Except some mean lady who wouldn't let my mom in to see me before surgery. <As I mentioned in my first blog I am a BIG mommas baby> Everyone else had family in the room didn't understand why she wouldn't let me. Anyway got to the operating room and the guys in there were cutting up with me and then came the versed. Oh the wonderful versed. I don't remember anything after that but waking up in recovery. I heard someone say "shes acting a little crazy" and I could feel me kicking. But I knew that would happen I am always in a panic waking up from anesthesia and feel like I am smothering. But I had a really nice nurse in recovery that was very reassuring and worked with me to make me comfortable with pain and breathing. I got to my room about 1130-12 with my mom and husband and they immediately let me start walking around as soon as I got good and awake which helped. Had a scary moment where my port site started bleeding through but they told me that was normal since they had given me a blood thinner called lovonox before surgery and that was my biggest incision. It continued bleeding over night but has since stopped. I was released about 4 and got home and settled in. My husband had a little trouble with the pharmacy they put the wrong date on my prescriptions and wouldn't feel it. When he told them I just had surgery the reply he got was "well then shes probably still doped up anyway and wont need it." Thankfully I was able to get a hold of my doctor and he got it fixed for me and needless to say there is a call into corporate by my husband to walgreens that lady would not even bother to help us. I am okay today just hurts to cough or get up and down starting to have a little gas pain but I am tolerating liquids fine. Just trying to keep hydrated. Other then that I am alive and survived. Remain in a lot of pain but trying to keep on top of my pain meds and get plenty of rest for that. Hope everyone that was band yesterday and today are doing well. Will update on my progress as I go. Oh btw My scale is pretty much accurate I weighted after surgery and my weight was down 21 lbs to 359 and that was after a lot of fluids in surgery. woot! On my way.. xoxoxo Rach
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

7
 

Stir Crazy!!

So Today is post op day 6. Almost a week into being band. I am getting the hang of things but I have not been counting my calories but I know I am going no where near the recommended amounts with what I am eating. I know I need to get better at that since when I get back on solids I will have to be vigilant on this. So anyway I am feeling okay have had a few bouts of nausea but phenergan and rest has made it better. I am tolerating liquids and most everything else on my diet. I am having a lot of trouble getting in the recommended amounts of protein and water however as I have always struggled with. I have tried several different brands of protein powder and have a bad reaction to the slightest bit. I have never been lactose intolerant so I did some research and it says that I may be allergic to soy and whey. I have tried powders for them both. My incisions are quite smaller then I expected and I do have a lot of bruising and swelling at my port site. As far as pain it is almost gone unless I do too much which is hard for me to just sit and not do house work. I have not felt hungry but once on day three and have to make myself eat. I did have my first episode of hiccups and man that did not feel good. I am still struggling with energy level so I have started taking b12 and going to try to move around a lot more today and get back in my pre surgery habits of walking I think I have rested long enough. Tomorrow I get to move to a pureed diet so I will have to start trying some new things. Nervous about advancing but I have tolerated everything fine. My follow up appointment is not until feb 14th hopefully I will have developed some good habits by then and get ready to go back to work at the end of feb. I find it still hard to watch my husband eat really good food or even something that I would not even want but now I do while I am sitting here sipping on soup but what do I do? He has to eat too. It is very easy in these first few days to sit here and get depressed I have found. But I constantly remind myself that I am doing this for a great change. Hopefully in the days to come when I get back to my old routine of doing things I will feel better. It is just hard to focus on this which I need to be right now deal with life worry about bills tend to everything else that you have to in life. Seems I am living from one meal to the next not living. But like I said I am going to try to start incorporating everyday life and find a balance with my band. I am determined to succeed at this. xoxoxo Rach
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

5
 

Shopping day for pre op diet

So despite my miserable cold today I have to go shopping. Normally this stresses me out enough trying to grocery shop. Today I have to prepare for my preop diet. This is stressful because I will have to buy stuff for two life styles. I can not deprive my husband and just by stuff for myself. How is that going to work and stay on a budget. I know most of you out there are just like me take bills month to month and try to get by. Not to mention if we are undertaking this financially stressing surgery or at least mine has been with the co pays and requirements and not to mention my doctor is an hour away. I am going to try my best to stay within my budget of my normal shopping with the exception that I have to buy my vitamins and host a party this weekend. My preop diet is the Robard diet. It is a modified atkins diet with meal replacements. I am allowed four meal replacements a day things such as soup cold shakes a hot cocoa and granola bars that you buy at my docs office. Then with this for one meal a day I will be able to eat a meal of my choosing low fat of course mostly meats no sauce dry spices and a green salad with lettuce cucumber broccoli green onions and wishbone salad spray. I think I will be okay with the wishbone salad spray but it will be hard to do without meat sauce. I have a hard time swallowing dry meats due to a surgery I had last year on my throat removing a growth that blocked 75% of my throat. So... I will do a lot of price checking on protein shakes. I have already tried several and they about made me sick. I am going to try the protein shots or Special K protein shake. Plenty of crystal lights LOTS of bottled water. May get several diet cokes since this will be the last time I will be able to drink soda. I am looking at the Viactiv Vitamin Chocolate chews and calcium chews. I have taken the calcium ones before and they taste just like heresy so I believe that will be my drug of choice. I have already invested in a blender from walmart made by GE that is much like the magic bullet but instead only cost 15 dollars and not 60. Will need something to wear after surgery plenty of chapsticks and some gas x!!! I have read the gas pains are awful. I believe I will wait to buy my post op foods until the friday before my surgery. Hopefully I will get everything I need and make some good choices for this stuff is expensive. Just wish I could find a protein shake I could tolerate. Oh well happy shopping with a miserable cold for me!
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

4
 

Pre Op registration

So after talking all morning with my employer trying to make sure it was okay for me to go ahead with surgery, I have made the decision to head to Birmingham <about an hour away> to do my pre op admission and pre op class. Also to pick up my pre op diet. Hopefully the roads will be better since the big snow and ice storm here that has had me snowed in all week. Not looking forward to starting my pre op diet but as I said before I feel lucky it is a little more then liquids. Last night instead of being able to have a big send off at olive garden or something like I wished I had to settle for fresh brownies. yummy! I hate this snow storm. I will officially start my pre op diet in the am since I wont get my diet material until after 3 this afternoon. Starting to get excited after the past twenty four hour emotional roller coaster of my work telling me to post pone my surgery. There has been soo much time and money put into this process I would hate to have to put it off again. Thankfully everything has worked out so far. Now if Mr sun will dry up the ice on the roads to get me to where I need to go. I feel like with the insurance requirements and all the emotional hurdles this has been a trek up an icy mountain. So I will pack my snow skis and off I go...
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

1
 

Pre op Day 1

So bright and early this morning I am up organizing my kitchen into his and hers. Anything I am not allowed to have out of sight out of mind. Went shopping last night after my pre op class. Thankfully my nut let it out of the bag on everything I was allowed to have during this process. I really feel like I am not going to suffer. I continue to remind myself that others have to do liquid diets. I bought my pre op foods from the Robard diet. I will be allowed to have four choices a day. Decided on Tomato soup, Dark chocolate smore bars, Fudge graham bar, Peanut butter bar, Strawberry shake, and Chocolate pudding. Each have about 200Cal 27grams protein and around 13 carbs a piece. In addition I am allowed one lean meat and green salad with wishbone salad spritzer. The Italian dressing is actually good. I can also have 10 calorie no sugar added Jello and pops. Crystal light actually makes a Popsicle. Dill pickles have no carbs depending on the brand and no calories. Mrs. Dash spices. Mustard no calories or less then 10 depends on the brand. Plenty of water and crystal light to go flavors. I have my handy dandy notebook to keep track so I stay on the 1100 cal a day allowance I have set for myself. So today I will try a few choices of my robard diet meal replacements and pray they taste something like food and not chalk. I have my foods ready and my husbands foods ready. I pray I am prepared to start this journey. I feel I have done all the planning that I can possibly do and it is now time to follow through.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

6
 

Off to see the Wizard...

I have followed the yellow brick road of requirements. I have figured out the riddles of insurance companies. I have even fought off the flying monkeys of the pre op diet. Now today is my day to meet the wizard and get my band! I will be singing "If I only had a band" all day long. I am about to leave for the hospital to come home a changed person with a brand new pair of ruby red slippers Good luck to all my fellow banders today may God keep you safe. xoxoxo Rach...
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

6
 

No one light a match!

So today is the end of day two post op. Still surviving. Having the classic problems/symptoms. Pain in my left shoulder and both sides of my neck I assume is gas pain. Feels sharp like a knife but is tolerable. Walking does not seem to help this pain. There is pressure under my sternum that feels like literally someone is holding tight all the way to my back. My stomach is full of gas both ways and is rather uncomfortable to burp. Walking does seem to help this pain and Gas X does not seem to help. I am not hungry I am guessing due to the swelling and can make myself take a few bites of something every once and awhile through the day. Getting protein no sorry to say it there is no way for me to get enough right now. Hopefully in a few days when I can tolerate more I will be able to get enough in. I am being a little bad in having a half cup of coffee but its sooooo goood. I tolerated some egg drop soup and some potato soup so far. I did brave the shower gods though it wore me out. I am scared to death of getting nauseated and I did have a bout with it for a short time last night so I called my doctor to ask for something to have over the weekend but I think they were in clinic all day so hopefully I will hear back in am. I feel really tired and I don't see how anyone would be going back to work in a week thankfully my work doesn't allow light duty so I have no choice but to stay home. Coughing is the worst and so is getting up from my low couch. But again it is all tolerable with the pain meds. So I am surviving hopefully I continue to feel better and do not get too discouraged. Really trying to not get dehydrated but I just can't seem to get enough of anything in. I will keep trying though. But I swear a small country could use me as a natural gas resource at the moment. lol. Sorry for the TMI. xoxoxo Rach P.S. Here is a awful photo of me and my diego recovering.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

4
 

Meeting the new me..

I don't know if anyone else has experenced this but I have been over weight my entire life. I was wearing my moms dresses when I was in 6th grade.I have only one picture of me as a child with a normal child weight and I was 4 or 5 years old. I don't know what I look like thin and this bothers me. I hear people saying they feel like a "whole new person." I literally feel anxious over the possibility. Who is this person? What will she like doing or dislike doing? Options I have never had before may open up doors for me. Just everyday options and decisions that will be open to be options and decisions. I have always been comfortable being over weight and liked myself. I hope I like this new person I am about to come in 5 more days I will start on a journey to go meet her.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

5
 

Less than 24 hours to go!

So I am super nervous. This time tomorrow I will be in surgery. I have started clear liquids today and have a million things to do. Tomorrow my life will change and I will start on a new path so I really had to share this. For I will take the path less traveled. I will take the untraditional road to lead me to the same destination. I do not know what corners I will have to travel around or what the view might be but I will walk just the same and enjoy the view...     The Road Not Taken Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;   Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.[1]        
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

3
 

Free Falling

As this two year hike up mount Everest comes to a end, I look back and it seems like yesterday I was battling with this decision to have WLS. Questions like If I can't do it or don't have the will power to do it on my own how is this magic little tool going to help me succeed? I pray that I have prepared myself in order to under stand this is not a cure all surgery and it IS going to take effort on my part more then I probably realize. I can say it a hundred times over and over "This band is not going to cure me! I have to cure myself" sounds like I have it worked out in my mind but saying and doing are two WAY different things. I am doing everything possible research getting involved hear learning everything I can. Making meal plans for my pre op diet which I feel lucky compared to some out there getting to actually eat on my diet just sort of a atkins diet with meal replacements its called the Robard diet. Not to mention I get to skip a few days since there are technically only 12 days before my surgery and the time I started my diet. Anywhoo... With everything you have to learn and knowledge you must take in and lifestyle changes and doctors visits all these bells and whistles you must silence until you hear those sweet little words... your approved I feel as if I am twirling around in a dark room hearing voices all around me. I can not see those standing in the shadows. I often feel alone. There words of wisdom seems to over whelm me at times. And then I feel as if I am falling. Falling toward a date Jan 25th down the other side of the mountain I just climbed. What will happen when I hit the bottom I have no clue but I will fall. Anyone else feel like they are Free Falling with me?
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

3
 

Day 4 pre op-Feeling great today

Okay so I know you guys think I am the most bipolar person out there or something but I am starting to get in the swing of things. Thinking positive and I am not starving anymore. I have adapted to the initial shock and not ready to kill everyone in site that is eating anything good. Can you believe that there are chips and dip piled in the break room and I have not even been tempted!!! Big step for me I think. I am trying my best to not become a scale whore but I did weight today down 6.3 LBS I gotta fix my ticker but that was placed before I started having my last meal syndrome and gained it all back but I refuse to fix my ticker until I go below the amount it says! Its my ticker and I will do with it what I want! hehe. So it is getting better. It is getting easier TODAY at least find me tomorrow and I may be sitting in my car at sonic crying as I woof down a Super sonic cheese burger because these groupon adds on the side of the forum display three large cheese burgers!!!!! I am going to punch the computer if it shows up again. Anyway. Doing better Thanks for the words of encouragement yesterday! Hope all out there reading this are doing well too.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

1
 

Day 3... I think I am going to cry...

Today I have not slept. My mind is overwhelmed. I try to stay positive but my every thoughts and feelings has been over this decision. I am constantly fighting either hunger, nausea, or just plain irritation. This morning I went to the grocery store on my way home from work to get more salad stuff. I got my walking exercise in just by walking around trying to find something that I could eat that was low carb low calorie low fat. I think I am going to have to tattoo that on my ass. 24/7 all I manage to think about is what I am going to eat how to space out my vitamins so the calcium and iron don't fight each other. I pray this gets better. I know its crazy for this to be day 3 and I am already going insane but its also do to a lot of other personal reasons as well. I really thought I would loose it when my husband made a comment "Your starving me I don't want to eat anything because you can't." Then last night he slipped and when I told him I was hungry he said "your doing it to yourself." I wanted to find the nearest dark room and lay down and cry myself to sleep. I know he was only joking but it was either cry or scream thankfully I did not do either. I am not unhappy over the dieting that fine with me I LOVE salads and veggies and things like that but the grainy sweet protein mixes are awful. It's the constant worrying and wondering if I am doing this right or if I am making the right decision. Like I said my brain is lap band... Lap Band.... LAP BAND... 24/7. But then again I guess it should be. This is about me is it not? This is one of the most important decision or optional thing I have done. I should be focused as I am and making this the importance in my life right now. It is just frustrating. It's not just the preop diet this has been my focus for the past year of my life and now that it is so close to time I am just having some emotional moments. I just don't think anyone understands how emotional this process is unless they have been there. LBT has become my resource, my best friend, my comforter. I come here to vent, learn, and yes cry. I don't want to tell anyone else how hard this is because they all look at it as this is "your choice" type thing. So I smile and continue to be positive and run to my nearest computer and bury myself in forum after forum seeking confidence and reassurance from complete and total strangers that have become my best friends in this process. Thank you to those I do keep in contact with in message after message venting my feelings and listening to yours. After all these years and never thinking about myself and always tending to others it is hard and overwhelming to constantly think about yourself. I feel guilty. I feel like I am being selfish and neglecting others. I feel as if I am standing in a crowded room screaming my head off and no one even looks up. Am I alone in being this emotional? Maybe it is just the lack of sleep... maybe it is the thousands of other problems going on right now. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and keep reminding myself why I am doing this. I will not let this defeat nor define me.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

10
 

Day 2... yes I am counting!

Okay so after my all night nausea and very unpleasant waking up running to the bathroom today. I choose a different route. Now granted I not recommend anyone else do this I am taking my risk but I am still following concept. I tried the hot cocoa meal replacement when I woke up today and after blending stirring shaking for over an hour and the thing would still not dissolve and was resolved to stay in chunks I chunked it. So I knew I was in trouble. I was already at work so grabbing a different meal replacement was not an option and besides I am having a hard time doing four a day. Seems like I am constantly eating and constantly nauseated. Practicing getting enough water and spacing out my vitamins so after my surgery I will be ready. But I had a plan. I know a healthy weight loss needs 1000cal a day and so was the plan with my pre op diet that my nut had set out. I also knew my goal was decreased carbs low fat and high protein for a liver reduction diet. I am following as close to these guide lines as I can. So here is what I have done so far.   3- cups coffee - 40 cals 1- cup chicken broth- about 20 cals <1 carb 1- sugar free popsicle- 40 cals 4 carbs 1- peanut bar robard meal replacement- Cals-160 Protein-15 Carbs-18 1- Grilled Chicken salad with wishbone salad spritzer- Cals- 250 Protein- 40 Carbs- 8 1- Tomato soup robard meal replacement- Cals-200 Protein-35g Carbs- 10g 1- sugar free Jello- Cal- 10   Total Calories= 720 maybe 800 with my crystal lights Total Carbs- 41 maybe 45 Total Protein- 130   So I have about 200 cals to have maybe a scrambled egg or another bar meal replacement when I get home. I hope I will not be messing up on my pre op diet I know It should be followed to a T but all the sugary stuff is just not going to go over with me. Tried to get a hold of my nut today but she was gone for the weekend and monday is a holiday so I guess I will have to pray I am still okay and shrinking my liver... I am obsessively keeping track and recording so as not to cheat myself. So here is to praying...
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

4
 

But my name is Rachel!!!....

So this morning at work we were about to reach the golden hour and go home a male co worker and I were going to break for a minute before we finished up paper work. So he checked his patient to make sure he was okay he was up out of bed bathing and he wanted to put him back to bed before we left. The patient was already in bed and this male co worker asked how he got there to which the patient replied "The pretty blonde helped me" So he is telling me this story on our way down the elevator and I felt it.... I knew I was about to get my feelings hurt... He slipped and said "So of course I knew he was talking about Laura." Wow I am blonde too but my name is Rachel!!!!!! This is the first time since high school I felt this way. Now I could not compare or even think I would ever compare to this "Pretty blonde." Now okay lets let the guy off the hook here for a minute he is only a male... so I laugh and say "Gee thanks" and I felt it again the look on his face was that of someone who was about to dig there hole even deeper... he replied "Now your pretty Rachel but I mean shes gorgeous..." Wow really? SERIOUSLY????????????
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

9
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