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About this blog

Young Single Lady trying to make it in this skinny world.

Entries in this blog

 

Banded! (3 Days POST Op)

Well, it has finally happened! I am actually banded! Whew! It's been 3 days and I can't believe it. I really went through with this. Now, with every journey, there has to be hard work, right? Well, HELLO HARD WORK! I never knew the simple things like getting in and out of bed, sitting in a chair and drinking out of a bottle of water could be so challenging. Let me take a step back... So it all started on the day of my surgery. I was sitting in the surgical waiting room at the hospital with a pleasant calm actually. I was thinking to myself the whole time, "Wow! I am really going to do this!". I was excited, yet comfortable with the decision I was making. They called my name and I went to the surgical holding area. They drew some blood and then had me change into a hospital gown while they hooked me up to what seemed like every machine possible. I remember being rolled into that operating room, having the "oxygen" (I say that with complete sarcasm because that's what the nurse told me) put over me and not remembering a thing until I woke up in the recovery room. Well, HELLO RECOVERY ROOM! I remember waking up to what seemed like little elves building a house inside my stomach. The nurse then informed me that my doctor had also done a hernia repair along with my band, so I would feel a little more pain than usual. A LITTLE?! I never have felt pain like that in MY LIFE!! There has been times in the last 3 days where I almost regretted my decision because of the pain I was feeling. But each day, each hour and each minute got better and better. I'm finally feeling almost like my normal self and I can honestly say, after this little bump, I cannot wait to start my new life!

SouthFloridaDiva

SouthFloridaDiva

 

Day 6 of Pre-Op Diet: Make it or Break It

It’s day 6 of my pre-op diet and I have never been more depressed in my life. I never knew food could have such an impact on a person. I don’t ever feel the urge to eat anything unhealthy, I just crave some type of solid consistency. I have always been a picky eater, but right now, I would submit my stubbornness for the taste of a solid. It’s so frustrating because no one knows what I’m going through. My family members continue to eat amazing food around me as the strong smells float through the air of my house. I feel like I have never cried so much in my life. I feel so angry and sad yet hopeful. I never want to feel this way in my life again. For the rest of my life, whenever I reach for something that is not good for me, I will think of this time. This has honestly been the hardest week of my life.     Shopping with my friends the other day was the worst. I was starving so badly. It was Black Friday and the mall was busy with holiday cheer. Besides the fact that I felt like a fat slob walking around with my gorgeous friends, nothing was worse than sitting in the food court chomping down on some of my favorite foods. So I did what any rational person would do - I cheated. Not as bad as you think though. I ate soup with some solid pieces of chicken breast and a few noodles. Then I had a yogurt and water. I tried my best to stick to it as much as possible.     After that, I walked into every store and watched my skinny friends try on beautiful clothing. I’ve never felt more out of place in my life. So I did what every fat girl does - I looked in the accessories section. My whole adult life that’s what I’ve done. It’s how I fight the embarrassment that I can’t fit into these clothes. I watched and was the “supportive friend” helping them look for outfits as I desperately wanted to be with them in the fitting room. Instead, I was holding their shopping bags and they fit their skinny selves into a size 2.     Don’t get me wrong, I have the greatest friends in the world who have been so supportive. They ask me everyday how I’m feeling and sit with me on the bench as I get tired from lack of food. One thing about this pre-op diet is that it sure takes the energy out of you. I don’t think I have ever slept this much in my life. And sleeping seems to be my new favorite hobby. You can’t feel hungry when you sleep.     I always like to end things on a positive note - the note being this: I WILL NEVER BE FAT AGAIN! I will be skinny, and next year at this time, I will be trying on dresses with my friends in the fitting room. It might not be a size 2, but it sure won’t be a size 20. For once in my life, I would love to be a single digit in size that doesn’t go on my feet!     PS - Incase you're wondering, the only thing that has kept me going is that during this pre-op diet, I've lost 11 pounds. I know it's probably all water, but it's 11 pounds that I don't ever have to carry with me again!          

SouthFloridaDiva

SouthFloridaDiva

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