Leaving hospital yesterday I am full of fear. I am having trouble understanding and reading the pain that I am feeling. My wound areas are not too bad but the pain in my chest is still quite severe. I dont know if I am always feeling this pain, or hunger pain, or pain that my stomach is full and my band is under pressure. I am taking liquids very slowly becuase I am nervous I might overdo it. Although both Dr Bessell and Dr Carr (anethesist) suggested the chest pain is normal for 48 hours or so, it seems to be ongoing at this stage. I have the pain off an on, but I also seem to have it a minute or two after I swallow. If it doesnt subside by Monday I guess I will be calling the surgery to double check.
I am really nervous about having too much fluid and therefore am probably not having enough. Although I have been provided a huge aray of information, I still feel unsure about myself and what I am doing. I would hate to vomit! Thus far the team from Adelaide Obesity Surgery have been great, dietitian Sally Johnson is fabulous.
As for my family, I was very reluctent to discuss the fact I was considering the surgery with most of them. It is a big step to finally call the truth about your weight. I have always known it, but when you say it out aloud for the first time it is a bit of an admission of guilt. They have largely been supportive but very illinformed. My husband is understanding, but doesnt really get it. Having never struggled with his weight he struggles to understand how I am feeling.
My hopes for the future, loose this weight and get my life back! There is another person living inside of me that is desperate to escape, a different face, different body shape and even a different more confident personality that is knocking on the door and waiting to be released. I have a very long way to go, but to be able to play with my children more comfortably is my driving motivation.
