Well, first of all, I am getting my first fill this Wednesday. Woo-Hoo!!!!!! So excited! Especially since the last week I have been behaving like I am not a bandster. Shameless, I know.
When I first got on solids again, I was careful to make sure that I ate a small portion. ate slowly, didn't drink with meals. I was the perfect rule follower. But, I have this problem with rules. So, gradually, I have reverted back to my old ways - I have allowed myself to drink a few sips while eating, and have eaten just a little more than I should at each meal. Believe me, the scale has given me a wake-up call. I've only gained back a pound but that's enough. I'm going to follow the rules to get ready for the fill.
Last week, I went to dinner with a friend at a place called the Boiling Crab. $9.00 for a pound of shrimp cooked in garlic and butter and lemon. So good. Only trouble is you have to work for your food. Pull the heads off, pull the tails off, and even clean out the little canals on these little buggers. They come with little red potatoes, which I couldn't eat too much of, cuz they're really filling.
So, after dinner I went to the restroom and they have these super high power dryers for your hands. As I was drying my hands I noticed that the blower was blowing the skin on my hands and arms into little folds, and basically, wrinkles. Yuck. This made me really worried about my future. Was this a premonition of what I could expect the more weight I lose? Will I have folds of skin wrinkling around all over my body?I wanted to put my face under the dryer and get a good look at that to see what that was all about, but I couldn't see my face in the mirror. This is scary. Will I be trading fat for sag? And will my face go from puffy to .....old? :eek:
I decided rather than think about it too much, I will just stay away from high power blowing machines and focus on my journey... :smile2:
I've survived a cheating husband, losing my house and then getting it back, LAP-BAND® surgery.... So, why does bandster hell feel so awful? I think I've been ranting and raving about how I wanted to get the LAP-BAND® and now that I have it people are all looking at me thinking, "what's the big deal? She hasn't lost much weight!" Which is true. I've actually lost only 11 of the many many pounds I need to lose. I'm 3 and a half weeks out and the only weight I've lost is the weight I lost during the liquid diet. At least I haven't gained any weight. I can actually get into the pants I've been squeezing myself into for the last 6 months. That's good too.
But, this waiting thing for the first fill is so frustrating. My physician's assistant said, "think of this as a practice time. Practice taking small bites and eating small quantities." I have absolutely no restriction. And worse, no will power. This really sucks! Can't wait for the first fill on November 10th.
:smile2:
