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Ellen's Band Journey

A blog by ellenmarie

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FrUsTrAtIoN!!!

I go for my 3rd fill on the 1st. Can't wait to get it either, usually I am scared out of my mind. I have been SO HUNGRY lately! It seems like I am not really eating meals but grazing all day. I know that I am not eating anything bad but I also know that I should be only eating 3 times a day. Arn't you supposed to become less hungry as the band gets tighter? Hopefully it gets better because I will cry if I gain weight

January 27, 2011

4

Small victory in Ellenland...

Well my cousin invited me to go shopping today to get a new outfit for my birthday this weekend. I was really, Really, REALLY hesitant about going. I have always hated shopping because I can never find anything that fits or looks good. Anyway, after about an hour of persuasion I finally agree to go. When I finally find a pair of jeans, almost an hour into our adventure, I like I grab them and head off to the fitting room. To my shock I actually fit into a size 22! I have been a 26 for so long it was weird having them on... I know that they are still plus size and it may not be a huge acomplishment but damn it I am proud of fitting into them. Maybe, just maybe I will start to like this whole shopping thing :

January 21, 2011

4

Second Fill

My second fill wasn't as bad as my first but it still sucked. I got .5 CCs put in. My doctor said that I have a hard port to find but it will get easier as the weight comes off. All I can say is thank God I am not as bruised this time as I was last time. Good news is that I lost 10 pounds between fills. Things are really looking up in 2011. I hope the weight keeps coming off at a steady rate and that I don't have many major issues.

January 6, 2011

3

25 days and counting...

Well my surgery is scheduled for October 25, 2010 and I am really nervous. I know that this is only going to improve my health and well being but it doesn't make it any better. I am scared out of my mind that something is going to go wrong or that it isn't going to work. I know that these are fears that I don't need to be having but I am a total worry wart. I am sitting here at work and all I can think about is my surgery. I am super excited that I am going to be able to do a lot of things that I was never able to do because of my weight. This really is for the best and I just need to keep telling myself that everything is going to be ok. The past 5 months of preparation have been worth it and I am glad that I am finally going to be able to live the life I have never had.

September 30, 2010

1

9 Months Out and an Unfill :(

Good news is I lost 9 pounds which brings me to 82 pounds lost Bad news is that on Thursday they took .5 CCs out of my band. I was unable to keep anything down including water. I found out that due to my Fibromyalgia my stomach swells and causes the band to be too tight. PERFECT!!! (add sarcasm) I hope that this horrible disease does not effect my goal of being healthy. I am already not able to excercise as much due to the constant pain. This is only another stepping stone in this process, I would do it all again if I had to with NO REGRETS!!!!!

July 31, 2011

0

Temptation grrrr...

Well it is that time again for those yummy goodness that we call girl scout cookies... I have always loved them since I was little and sold them myself... Now that I am grown I still can't resist them... I have been sicker than a dog for the past week and sweets have always been a BIG comfort food... Needless to say the ever loving boyfriend, who still has not gotten used to the fact that I don't eat the way I used to, thought he was being loving and bought some boxes... I am really trying to stay away from them but the fact that they are still in the house doesn't help the situation... It's like they are calling my name lol... I have asked him to take them out of the house or at least hide them but there they sit on the counter... Taunting me, laughing at me, knowing I will eventually give in and have a few... It is just so frustrating that I am having a hard time not eating the things that give me such joy... I know that I need to eat healthy and excersise but when your sick you just want what makes you happy... I am just going to need to get better and get back on track... I am only 3 1/2 months out and I feel like a complete failure...

February 20, 2011

0

New Year New Stressors

A lot has been going on since September. I moved back home due to some health reasons, got out of a really unhealthy relationship, got a cat... but the one thing I have hated is I had to get all the liquid out of my band and have my gall bladder removed... I never thought it would be hard to stop loosing weight if I ever had to get fluid out of my band. BOY WAS I WRONG!!! Not only have I not lost weight but I have started to put weight back on. My worst nightmare! I have an appointment in two weeks to get a fill and I could not be happier. I never realized how much I was relying on my band. I am hoping that this year starts to turn towards the better... I have also had to start looking for a different job, which is a huge stress. But no matter what I am going to get back on track and keep on track

January 28, 2012

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12 days and counting

My surgery was scheduled for October 25th but it go moved to November 1st. I start my preop diet on Friday and am kinda scared. My preop went really well but I think it made me more nervous knowing that my surgery is right around the corner. This is the new begining for the new me. :thumbup:

October 20, 2010

0

First Fill

Well I had a really bad experience with my first fill yesterday. They were looking for my port and it took them three tries to finally find it. I am hurting so bad today and I am all bruised. If this is what is going to happen everytime I don't want to do it anymore. I got 4 CC's put in but don't have alot of restriction. I hope this gets better because I don't think I can deal with it much longer. Not regretting my decision but trying to get over the complications I have had.

December 2, 2010

0

6 Months Out

Well I am happy to say that today is my 6 month bandiversarry. I go for my next visit on the 10th and hopefully I am still losing. It seems like I am eating a lot lately. I don't know if it is because I am actually humgry or because I am so stressed out. I know that this is a lifelong journey and I am making every effort to do the best I can with this awesome tool that I have. I thank God that I have an awesome support system to help me. I need to get back on track and get my life back under my control. My health is way more importnant than anything that comes my way. Good luck to all of you that are still on your journey's and congrats to those that have made goal. We are shining examples of what the Lap Band can and will do it. I am proud to be a member of this "family".

May 1, 2011

0

8 Months Out and at a Stand Still...

I had my 7th fill on July 5th. Seems like alot but I am only up to 6 CCs in my band. While I am feeling some restriction it is no where it should be. I was so stoked about my appointment because I have been eating right and excercising. I was sure I had lost something. NEGATIVE!!! I didn't even lose an ounce... WHAT?!?! Wait a minute how can that be... Hold on let me get naked and get back on the scale lol. How is it that literally the first month I am really on top of my game I don't lose anything??? I walked out of my appointment so disappointed in myself and so confused as to why I stayed the same... I know that everyone hits roadblocks in their journey's but I didn't think mine would be less than a year out. I have become a scale fiend- weighing myself every chance i get to see if I lose even an ounce. So not healthy!!! I think once I get it out of my sustem that this is just a little speed bump I will be ok. I just neeed to continue eating right, excercising, and believing in myself and it will be ok

July 10, 2011

0

Not sure what to do

I had an unfill last month because I could not keep anything even water down,,, Well since then it seems like all I have been doing is eating eating eating... I got on the scale (something I never do) and I was up 5 pounds from the last time I got on the same scale... I am so scared that I am putting weight back on... I have worked so hard to take it off... I am so close to losing 100 pounds that I don't want to seem like I am failing now... I was working out but my fibromyalgia is so out of control right now that I can barely walk around the house some days let alone go to the gym... I have an appointment on the 28th for a fill... I hope that this one does ok... I need to find some at home low impact workouts other than walking... I know I can get back on track it's just a matter of finding the way again...

August 24, 2011

0

5 months out and feeling great

Well... I was getting really discouraged there for a while. I was so disappointed in myself thinking that I was doing everything wrong and that I was a complete failure. My appointment on the 29th made me realize that I am doing this right and that I should be proud of what I have done and what I am continuing to do. Losing 64 pounds in 5 months is something that I thought would never happen. I was going to be happy if I lost 50 pounds in a year. The lapband has given me a new outlook on life and it has made me know that there is more to me than just being the "fat girl". I am finally finding myself.

March 31, 2011

0

7 Months Out

Went in for my fill today. Boy oh boy was I surprised when I got on the scale and had lost 6 pounds. I about did a happy dance right there in the hallway. Weight loss is finally on track (knock on wood). Now if I can only get the rest of my body to cooperate. I was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last week It sucks and the pain is enough to make me want to off myself. But I am going to survive this just like I did my obesity. Some good news is that my rheumatologist thinks that I may not have Lupus after all. He is still running blood tests since my levels are all over the place. Let's pray that that diagnosis is incorrect. Things are looking up in Ellenworld. I can't believe that I have lost this much weight in so little time.

June 7, 2011

0

Third Fill

Well my 3rd fill was on the 1st. It actually went better this time than the past 2. I am feeling alot of restriction and am totally loving it. Now I am starting to see the real work that the band can do. The only thing I have noticed is that I am not tolerating milk products very well. But I will just have to see if it passes or if I won't be able to handle it at all anymore. I am having to wait 8 weeks for my next fill (if needed) due to a month long class for work. To be honest I would rather see my doctor than go to this class. Everything seems to be going well and I am not as frustrated as I have been. I am looking forward to continuing losing the weight,

February 8, 2011

0

What am I doing wrong here?

I had my 5th fill yesterday. I got on the scale and have only lost 3 pounds in 5 weeks. WTH!?!?! I almost started crying from frustration. I don't know what I am doing wrong that I am not losing the weight. I know that 67 pounds in 6 months is great but I thought I would lose more. I am eating right and exercising. I don't know if I need to eat differently or change up my exercise routine. But I am having a hard time doing what excersie I am doing because I am in pain most of the time from my Lupus. Maybe I am just being too hard on myself. I am still losing and I need to remember that this is a life long process not an overnight miracle. Things will all work out how they are supposed to. If anyone has ideas on what I can do to bump up the weight loss let me know.

May 11, 2011

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