Alot of mixed emotion running through my head, so much that I can't sleep tonight. I'm heading to Oregon on Thursday to spend 4 days with my High School Girlfriends. I haven't seen a few of them in 25 years. I was always the "Big Girl". I find myself nervous and excited to show them all the "New Me". My hubby spoiled me this weekend and took me to get my hair and nails done...and the funnest part, shopping for new clothes :thumbup:) OMG OMG OMG, I'm so nervous to see them all...I feel overwhelmed. Part of me wonders if they will recognize me when I walk in. I'm also stressing over this as well...so much change that I feel the need to LOOK PERFECT. Do any of you feel this way since your weight loss? I never really worried about the way I looked before, I was just always the chubby girl with a pretty face...oh how I hated that statement! I just wonder what they will all think of me now. Sighhhh this is going to be a wild weekend, and I've been planning it for months, I can't believe its actually here. Wish me Luck :thumbup:) :confused:
Really struggling with the fact that I had to have surgery to fix a band slippage. Original surgery was Feb. 5, 2009 and just had surgery for the repair on Sept. 21, 2010. After being sick with the Flu for two weeks I landed in the ER with the most unbearable pain I've ever experienced in my life. Now that the slippage is fixed and I'm recovering I really worry that it could happen again. The last thing I want is for the band to be removed...after losing 124 lbs...I feel in a way I'm starting this whole process over again. Trying to stay positive :thumbup:
Ok, since my slippage surgery on 9/21 I have been dropping weight like crazy and my Doc was worried about the weight loss. Now 4 weeks out from surgery I'm up 5 lbs...out of no where. I stopped doing the protein shakes, Doc gave me the approval to go ahead and try to eat...and so far its been great. I'm able to eat almost anything in small quantities...including bread/pasta and chicken...all of which I couldn't eat prior to this. Makes me wonder, was my band misplaced improperly to begin with...and did the Doc miss it??? Anyhow I'm working out like a crazy woman and the scale just keeps going up and up....I was 6 lbs below goal and now 5 lbs over....11 lbs COME ON. I'm feeling discourage and frustrated and hunger has set in...making Christy a very grumpy girl. I go in for my first fill on Nov. 5th and I cannot wait to get back on track again. Well I'm taking my "lil weight gaining self" to the gym....2nd workout for the day. I CANNOT FAIL!!!!:thumbup:
So I'm about 5 weeks out since my surgery for my slipped band and I have to admit I'm now struggling. Hunger has definetely kicked in....FULL FORCE. I talked to my Doctor (PCP) today about being put on an appetite suppressant until I'm back to my sweet spot with my fills...last thing I want is to gain the weight back. Call me weak if you want, but I can't do it without help...and my Doctor agreed to put me on Phentermine for 3 months. I'm working out twice a day to balance out the food I'm eating to keep the scale down...and so far so good, but its causing me major anxiety. I start the Phentermine tomorrow...I sure hope this helps me through this rough spot. I will definetely let you all know how it goes.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!! :thumbup:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/153669.php
I found this article pretty informative and interesting...though I should share.
Have a blessed day,
Christy
I find myself sitting here this morning and reality just kicked in. I've been training for the Seattle 1/2 Marathon for almost a year, and due to having surgery for my band slipping...well, I won't be competing. I wanna curl up into a ball and just cry...I worked so hard and have come so far. Just really disappointing that I won't be able to cross that finish line. Having a "fitness goal" has really kept my motivation up this last year...and definetely helped with the weight loss. I guess its time to look into another race and start the training all over again. I can't help but feel a little "let down"! Ok...time to stop whining and get outside for my little 1/2 hour walk.
Stay positive and keep on track Christy....I can do this...this is for me! :thumbup:
I absolutely hate it when my family goes "yeah she only lost weight because of the lapband"...grrr and announce how much I've lost to total strangers. Anyone who has this surgery knows how much work it is...its life changing, and sometimes things are better left unsaid! For once it would be nice to say "hey look at her go...working out 6 days a week and eating right" hmmm where is that kind of support???
Am I the only one out there who wishes that I just didn't tell anyone about the surgery?? Yes, I decided to get the Lapband, as a tool not a crutch. In the end, I still have to work hard to lose the weight. I just want credit where its applicable! I don't think my waiter at the restaurant needs to know I had surgery. I also don't like the comments like "you should of seen her before" what the heck...I loved myself then and learning to love the new me I see in the mirror.
Wheww venting a little...I feel better :thumbup:
I just had to share this story, as silly as it may be....its exciting to me. My daughter who has been right at my side this entire weight loss adventure has completely changed her eating habits and has become an excercise nut right along side of her Mommy. She told me I was and inspiration to her...and I motivate her to want to become a healthier person. Did my surgery help break the cycle of overweight women in my family...well maybe not the whole family, but to change the life of one so dear to me is a little overwhelming and phenominal! My dear little daughter(I say little because even chubby she stood 5 ft. tall and 150 lbs.) she is not a teeny tiny size 3 and has lost 35 lbs (115 lbs) and she is BUFF...her muscles are amazing hehehe!
Anyways on with the story...yesterday she was going through her closet and having me try on the clothes that no longer fit her. Me standing at 5'8...my skinny is the size when she was a wee bit chubby. So my daughter gave me "hand me UP's" as she called them. It amazes me that I fit in clothes that are a size 9 junior....some 7's even. OMG am I really here, did I make it...and am I going to lose more. (I really don't want to lose more) those of you who follow my blogs know I am struggling to keep weight on right now. ME the LIL FATTIE I have always been is struggling to keep weight on. Anyways it was so fun playing dress up with my daughter, and for obvious reasons there are some items I could never step out the door in, just an age appropriate thing lol.
Thank you Samantha...you also inpsire and motivate me to become a better person. I love you with all my heart!
Well I'm starting to introduce food into my system....pureed/mushy foods. Experiencing this before I thought "This should be eay" WRONG. I just stayed at the beach with friends and had a cup of clam chowder. Literally about 2 oz. I knew instantly this was not a good idea Instant anxiety set in....a honest to god panic attack. Heart pounding out of my chest....pacing through the house. I went for a walk, that helped temporarily. My skin feels like I have bugs crawling on me. I took 2 mg. of Xanax at the suggestion of my Doctor...
Anyone else Panic when they started eating?? Any suggestiions:scared2:
Just thought I'd share....I know we are all looking for alternatives to Protein Drinks. While out shopping last night I found one that is pretty dang tasty. Mixed Berry and Strawberry Kiwi are really good.
Gatorade post-game Protein Recovery
16 Grams of Protein
6 Sugars
7 Carbs
60 Calories per Serving (2 servings per bottle)
ENJOY and have a Fabulous Day.
So has anyone ever had numbness on your abdomen after surgery?? I know I didn't have this back in 2009 when my lapband was first placed. This is 7 days post-op for the slippage and my tummy is still numb. Weird or normal?? Hmmm I'm glad I'm going to the Dr.'s today...kinda starting to concern me a bit.
I'm just putting my frustrations out there....I'm not liking all these changes one bit. Especially during the Holidays when I'm stressing the most...and really need my LBT Friends to talk me through this. They couldn't have picked a worse time to shut things down and tamper with what wasn't broken to begin with.
Earlier today we were going through some photos from a few years back and I was taken completely by surprise that I did not even recognize myself. When did this happen? Then the tears came, for what reason I'm not sure. For the longest time when I looked in the mirror, I still saw the FAT GIRL staring back at me...when did she leave and allow me to have a new self image?? Am I finally seeing the reality of this adventure I've been on. Have I purposely stayed away from seeing my reflection out of fear of what I'd see looking back at me?? I'm stunned and excited, almost left speechless. WOW, I REALLY DID IT!! I've actually hit my original goal that I set back in Feb. 2009 which was 168lbs...I never dreamed I'd actually make it...and now I'm setting a new goal to lose another 20lbs...to 148lbs.
I also wanted to share that I had a nurse say I was "skinny"...WHO ME...(looking all around) you couldn't possibly be saying that to me right...I've always been the "FAT GIRL". I may not be perfect, but I am really starting to love the way I feel...more so than how I look...the energy that I have to do the things I love has been phenominal.
HOLY BEGEESHES....I REALLY DID IT....WOW, JUST WOW!! :thumbup:
Its mornings like today that I still struggle with my addiction to food. Waking up at 5am with the most unbearable pain in my stomach...true HUNGER. I have an honest addiction to food, and I'm aware of this...and have to face my addiction everyday. Its not like you can just walk away from it and never face it again. You have to have food to survive. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I were addicted to drugs or alcohol...where I could chose to not to have these things in my home....out of sight out of mind...but NO my addiction is FOOD and I face my addiction everyday. This is not easy and I pray for strength to get through every day of this process. I'm learning every day new techniques on how to handle this, and break the patterns taught to me as a young child. Learning to express my emotions, as oppossed to supressing them with a overfull stomach. How many of us "eat" out of pure emotional hunger. This morning I chose to "CRY"...full on heart wrenching tears, instead of eating a bowl of icecream. Another episode conquered...one step at a time Christy...YOU CAN DO THIS! Stay focused, 4.5 more weeks of liquids...I can't wait to be back on track and have my band back at my "sweet" spot...I have done this for 18 months, this is a bump in the road. Just gotta pick myself, brush myself off and keep going. Goodness this is a tough morning, I can't wait till the Sun comes up....I could use a walk in the fresh air to clear my mind. Confidence is building even as I write. I CAN DO THIS! This time I have WON!
Just a quick note to let everyone know I'm doing OK. My Mother passed away suddenly on Jan. 6, 2011 from Pneumonia (She didn't realize how sick she was) She was in Carson City on vacation. Our family is still dealing with the shock, but trying to moved forward...trying to deal with her Estate has proven to be very difficult. My advice, if you have a Will in place...switch everything over to a Living Trust. It was the first thing I did after arriving home. During our grieving we got some great news that just proves to me that LIFE goes forward. Our grandbaby is a GIRL...and her name will be Keira Ann (Ann is after my Mom). Count your blessing and hug your loved ones, always let your family know how much you love them...because God has his agenda and you never know how much time you have.
Well I'm here in Oregon, and I've only seem my Niece and two close Friends...and needless to say I think their jaws are still on the ground. The big "Gathering" is tonight, and I can't help but be a little nervous and giddy. (could be about 200 people there) I feel like a million bucks right now...and for the first time I'm welcoming compliments. So nice to hear "your a hot mama" he he he!
Just wanted to share my excitement with all of my new friends here online. Thank you all for helping ease my nerves for this trip. Its helped me embrace the looks and jaw droppings...you warned me it might happen. Life is so surreal right now. Well I'm off here in a little bit, going to face one of my demons...the house where I grew up. I feel like for the first time in my life, I can do this with no regrets of the terror that happened behind closed doors. I'm ME, and I STAND BEFORE YOU WITH NEW STRENGTH AND WISDOM TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! :frown::ohmy: Although none of my family lives there anymore....I'm going to just stand there and release the anger and leave it in my past. I'm a new Christy, and no longer to to keep her "fat" in hopes that...well....no details, I'm a SURVIVOR and thats what matter now!
God Bless
Finally Friday Nov. 5th....Oh how I've been waiting for this day. I go in for my first fill today, since surgery for my Slippage on 9/21/10. I'm hoping for a full release back to my excercise program and to get back on track. I am trying my hardest to not focus on the scale right now...as I know I have gained a little during all of this. Not to worry...those pound will be a memory very soon. I've managed to bounce back and forth for the last 6 weeks by about 5lbs...which tells me a little something about myself. I really need this tool to stay successful. Also for some of you who can do this without excercise, I cannot...it has been the key to my continued loss. I've had to fight for every pound and this has not been easy. Prior to my slip...my sweet spot was 5.9cc's, I can't help but wonder how different its going to be this time. The placement of the band seems to be great, and I can eat a little bit of rice and chicken...two foods that were on the "devils" list for me before...bread is still not my friend, and that is OK! I also wonder what amount of a fill I will get. I will update this blog after my appt. today. Anyways I'm so excited and wanted to share with everyone who has been following my progress the past 6 weeks. I also wanted to thank all of you for your continued support and just for listening when Im' complaining and just needed to vent.
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! :cursing:
I was wondering if anyone else out there has suffered with skin problems since being banded? I hadn't really put the two together until going to my 2nd Dermatologist today. I say 2nd, because I finally made the decision to get a second oppinion. Here is my story of suffering...I'll try to keep it short. Oct 2009 I broke out with the most god awful open oozy rash on my chin...omg my entire chin was covered. It was painful, itchy...and dreadful to look at. A trip to the Doc and 2 weeks of antibiotics and it finally went away. Diagnosis....Impetigo (which we think I caught from my Nephew) I still have doubts...anyway it has literally come back with a vengeance at least 15 times in the past year. I finally decided it was time to see a different Dermatologist who thinks this very well could be Acne Rosacea...and very possible that it started when I really starting seeing a good amount of weightloss. I've had numerous blood workups done to keep tabs on vitamin levels and they have all been normal. I workout at least 5 days a week. When all of this started I switched over to only Organic soaps (which really has helped). Anyhow its been 1 week with the new Doc....he put me on Doxycycline 100mg 3x's a day...and we will slowly wean off after 3 months. On top of all of this...horrible swelling in my chin, not sure if they are cysts??? but he did 3 steroid injections this morning, and OMG what a miracle drug...cuz my chin is normal again. I'm almost 43 yrs old, and I think I've had 5 pimples in my entire life....I just know that this has made me very depressed this past year. Acne/Roasacea/Impetigo??? Whatever it is, its an angry monster I WANT GONE. I see some light at the end of the tunnel with this new Doc being so aggressive on healing this. Anyways,....looks like Christmas is going to be great and I won't have to hide under a MASK of makeup ) I was just curious if anyone else out there suffered from this...maybe a chemical imbalance as our bodies change??
Just wanted to share our news ) We are going to be GRANDPARENTS!! Our oldest son Michael and Lora, Congrats kids...your going to be amazing parents. We don't have a due date yet, I will let everyone know when we find out! Yay...he he he I'm going to be a Granny )
I want to scream and run out of my house. I never thought in a million years I would ever say I LOVE TO EXCERCISE...its my new drug. I cannot wait to go back to the Dr.'s tomorrow and hopefully get released back to a normal routine. Having surgery for this Slippage is not going to bring me down, it just motivates me to stay stronger!!!
I sit here struggling with the notion to write this or not...but something someone said to me yesterday is very disturbing. I think her words were "A Slipped Band is not a BIG Deal, quit your whining it can be fixed." :smile:
I followed all the rules the Doctor gave me and for 18 months have had phenominal success with my band. I eat right and I excercise and within this time have lost 129 lbs...putting me 5 lbs under my original goal. Two weeks ago I came down extremely ill with the FLU and my world changed. I've never been so sick in all my life and the vomitting was non-stop. It landed me in the ER for two days, my Lapband slipped, they unfilled it...hoping it would fall back into place. Unfortunately it didn't and surgery was scheduled. My Doctor was not sure what they would find. Could I have been so sick that it could of caused a possible errosion. I was lucky...but it is a VERY BIG DEAL! I was in surgery for 4 hours to fix my Slipped Lapband...and a 3 day hospital stay. It just really angered me yesterday when someone told me to quit whining about surgery. Surgery is risky no matter who you are or how healthy you are. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my Lapband and I love the success I've had with it...but surgery of any kind is scary. Things like "throwing up" shouldn't be taken so lightly or carelessly. A slipped band can and will happen if you don't take care of yourself properly.
I thought this forum was for sharing your stories and helping and supporting one another. If I can help one person not go through what I did, then its a success. Obviously I couldn't stop the Flu from happening, but I wish I would of gone to the Doctor at the first sign of being sick and had my Lapband unfilled. Maybe then I'd be out running today instead of being on day 7 of recovery.
I will however not let this stop me or drag me down. I'm loving life and love the "new me". Everyone has a story and deserves to be heard!
