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I'm staying positive.

I'm staying really positive about my journey. I've lost 9 pounds so far and that's amazing considering that it seemed like I was putting that much on per month before. I keep thinking of my reasons for doing this. My motivation. My future, my dad, Sara, Nanny. Those are what I look to when I'm feeling crappy about not being able to eat much and go out and do anything. I know I'm only 5 days out, but you have to start this thing thinking positively, so it'll carry you on further than skepticism. I've been watching the Biggest Loser and fantasizing about how awesome it's gonna be once I'm able to exercise like that again. I'm thinking about smaller clothes and feeling like I'm in the land of the living again. I want to actually LIVE. Not just exist...and let's face it, that's exactly what I've been doing for a majority of my life. It's time for all of that to change and for me to enjoy my youth and do everything I can to keep myself and my loved ones healthy. I need happiness. I look forward to great things in my future!     That's all I have for now.   Love, Stephanie    
sbrick

sbrick

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I had surgery 19 days ago.

So, here I am...19 days post-op. I'm feeling good, considering that I've stopped taking my anti-depressants and given up caffeine since surgery. I'm down 12 pounds and keeping a positive outlook. It's really bothered me because a rumor started around my school (cosmetology school, nonetheless) that I'd had gastric bypass. I've just shrugged it off for the most part, but I'm gonna admit that hearing that bothered me. I feel that more severe obesity cases opt for gastric bypass and I feel slightly insulted that it's even a topic amongst my peers. I would think that my being fat wasn't an issue to them as well as my having LAP Band isn't a topic that's up for discussion. I'm probably being silly for even worrying about it, but that's what cosmetology school is for. Drama and girlfights. Even though I feel generally better, I have noticed that I'm really lethargic at the end of the day. I've been honestly forcing myself to walk for thirty minutes here and there.   I'm only up this late because I made it a point to prepare dishes that my sister and I could eat while everyone else eats the high fat/calorie stuff for Thanksgiving. I took a bunch of recipes from Hungry-girl.com and made them into "mashies approved" casseroles. I ended up with a cauliflower bake (pureed), smashed sweet potatoes (made with sugar-free maple syrup and Splenda), and a crustless pumpkin pie. I'm pretty pleased with how everything looks. So hopefully, everything with taste good as well. We had a potluck today at school and I had a teaspoon of stuffing and I can safely say...their stuffing was terrible! I'm really glad I couldn't eat much because I couldn't imagine eating something like that and pretending to enjoy it. Blech.   Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and close by saying that I'm trying to keep my chin up and stay hopeful that I'm going to (one day soon) be much smaller! I've had a lot of heartache in the past year that's made a huge impact on my life and I really need to make this work. For me. This time it's not for anyone else.   Keep your fingers crossed!    
sbrick

sbrick

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