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the ticking clock

i dont know how you do it.. those of you that have to wade through the insurance paperwork and/or wait six months - jumping through firey hoops. im on a fast track and it's still too long. makes me wonder if i have impulsive tendecies. LOL   just wanted all of you breaking trail for the rest of us .. you are an inspiration. thanks for taking the time to help the rest of us find the courage to hit this flab head-on.:mad:
gena155

gena155

1
 

last beer run

hit humbolt county breweries this weekend. my last beer tasting... i am going to miss those microbrews.... but i'm going to love being able to tie my shoes without holding my breath even more.:mad2: if i did my homework right, i should be having surgery in about 4 weeks. i'm not afraid of the surgery..but am a little scared about the afterwards. what if it doesn't work. what if, what if... :cursing: what if it does work. i've spent half my life being this size. feeling my body break down one joint at a time. avoiding mirrors like a vampire. failing every diet and paying hundreds of dollars worth of gym memberships for nothing. totes full of clothes i used to wear when i was healthy. i got off coffee and soda. doing good not eating sugar junk.. i am mindful of the qty and quality of foods im eating. making jokes about eating golfball sized meals. afraid to fail or succeed but excited to think this could be the first time i succeed. i'd rather face the uncomfortableness of success.
gena155

gena155

3
 

count down

gettin' itchy now. can't wait to get this big ball rollin'. been thinking about eating more. why i eat when i eat, what i eat. wondering about food - what food has the best energy or cleanest calerie burn. i dont want to get obsessed but it seems there is alot to know about food when you can only have a golfball sized portion.   my plan - i have about 4 weeks before the 2 week liquid diet. tomorrow i go off caffeine. the next few will be dropping sugars, starches and beer. oh how i will miss beer. dont want to hit the liquid diet with some kind of nasty withdrawls. :closedeyes:
gena155

gena155

1
 

trip planning

today i woke up feeling encouraged and excited. this week i found a doctor, set an appt for systems check, got financing, ready to roll. should be banded by mid september and quite a bit lighter by my birthday in february.     gonna use this blog as a diary.
gena155

gena155

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