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Twelve Weeks out

3 October 2006 Twelve weeks from today I get my band. The journaling tool has been out of service for awhile, so I have a little catching up to do here. I've discovered that I'm not the first person on the Island to get a Lap Band, and I won't be the first person at the Theatre to have done it. Shortly after I opened this journal I discovered that I already know someone with a Band, who was banded in late July and has already lost 30 pounds. Now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! Through her I've learned that there are at least two others, and one more person who is exploring the possibility. As far as I know I may be the only one who is a "medical tourist," getting my Band in Mexico. I've been cruising this chat room regularly, and I've picked up on one thing that's beginning to make me a little nervous about the impact the Band may have on my singing life. I searched for posts about singers and came across one thread that talked about the port stitches interfering with deep breathing. Now I'm concerned that I won't be able to perform in the Song & Dance show in January (which I had agreed to do before I scheduled my surgery). The show is three weeks post-op, and I "should" be able to sing, but my breath control may not be what it used to. I asked my friend Ruthann about her recent lap-hysterectomy recovery. She said she was ablt to sing in three weeks, but her breath support was a LOT better after four. I'll have to ask Ellen about that, as she's a singer, too. Initially, I didn't want to tell anybody about my surgery until after people started noticing the results. I just cannot deal with everybody and his brother checking up on me, monitoring what I'm eating or not eating, but I have begun to tell a few ... with interesting results. The first person I told was my friend Alice, who seemed to know something about the Band already and wasn't shocked, and is, of course, very supportive. The next person I tried to tell was Merritt (my boss), and for reasons passing understanding I ended up in tears in the process -- must have been PMS, because I don't have any reservations about having the surgery or living the new life, in fact I'm quite looking forward to it, but I started out with trying to explain that I needed to be on a liquid diet restriction for two weeks before and four weeks after surgery, and that this will make the traditional office celebrations of birthdays and Christmas awkward for me. He seemed very understanding, and I know I can trust him to keep this confidential. However, with the need to tell a few people involved in Song & Dance (and others) about the possibility that I will have to be a happy surprise on the program rather than a deadliner, I'm finding a little more courage about telling people. I also would like to have at least a few key people in my musical life know, who can influence the people who do the gift buying that maybe NOT chocolate this year is a better idea. Down the raod, I think I actually would like to do a story in the Journal about being a medical tourist, but I'd prefer to have that hit the press six months post-op when I can be a poster child and not a warning to others. I am quite happy to have my success inspire others to make positive choices for their health. My next hesitation is whether or not to audition for the Theatre's winter plays. I wonder if it might be wiser to give myself three months to figure out how to eat and eat on the go before I schedule myself into a big production that may get me off track. I'm fairly certain Merritt wouldn't cast me anyway (February show), but it might be fun to do "Cemetery Club" in March, especially with Gretchen Gubelman as the director. And, of course, the Benefit Players will want to know what I want to do next. Maybe what I should do through the winter is simply concentrate on my April concert for San Juan Singers -- probably my last concert as their director. I want to devote the time necessary to pull off a really great program, and if theater has to wait a few months, so be it. It's far more important to me to wrap my Singers experience well than it is to be on the stage. "Guarding Erica" will be enough for me for a little while. OK, time to figure out how to post on this chat room. I need to know if being back on stage to sing three weeks post-op is a reasonable expectation.
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
 

Preparation

Sept. 13, 2006 I ordered the wire transfer today for the deposit that effectively sets in motion my preparation for lap band surgery on Dec. 27, 2006. I have 105 days to prepare, and I am going to start by incorporating some of the dietary changes that I'll need to make post-op, such as eating your protein first, eating with intention (chewing, appreciating) and drinking often but slowly. Over the next three months, maybe I'll also learn to eat less, and get away from grazing. Right now I'm about 240 pounds, and my intention is to achieve a healthy body weight of somewhere between 135-145 pounds. I have no target date, although it would be nice at least to be close by the time of my oldest niece's (my god-daughter's) wedding ... currently anticipated to be early 2008. I would really like to look good in those family photos ... like I did at my parents' 50th anniversary in 1993, or better. I feel fully prepared to make these changes. I've always been something of a culinary maverick, choosing foods that most people (at least most people in my family) don't ordinarily choose ... e.g. being vegan for two years. I can do this. I'm a little concerned about how this might impact my social life, such as it is. I'm not much of a party girl, and I don't eat out all that often on my current budget, but I am concerned about how this will affect my ability to "come over for dinner" without making others uncomfortable. I'm willing to BE different. I guess I just don't want to be PERCEIVED as different. :paranoid I hope that what the band will do for me is to give me a sense of normalcy about my physical place in the world. I'd like to walk past a mirror and think, "I know her. That's who I am." At the moment, I don't recognize the woman who looks back at me. I don't feel that fat, but when I saw the pictures from "La Vie Ennui," I knew I looked as bad as I felt in those costumes.:confused: I'm looking forward to a simpler life, a life in which my body makes me proud, and is a place I like to be (as opposed to my imagination, which is where I spend much of my time now). 105 days until I receive the tool that I then can WORK to find the normal girl within.
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
 

Out of the Closet -- a little

5 October 2006   Yesterday I decided that it's time to tell a few of my closest friends and all of my family. Initially I had wanted to keep my surgery confidential, because I can't abide all kinds of people "monitoring" me, but knowing that I have to get through the December holiday-birthday-concert season on a pre-op liquid diet, I decided it was time to confess.   I've received several positive responses, and one curiously guilt-ridden friend who feels bad for having sent me food gifts over the years. I told him, it was alway my choice whether or not to put that thing in my mouth.   I'm still having trouble (especially around Halloween) staying away from the candy and junk food I love, and I haven't yet worked water REGULARLY into my schedule. That probably will be one of the most challenging points of transition for mw. I'm accustomed to drinking a lot of water, but I'm also accustomed to drinking it by the pint or quart.   I've ordered a cookbook that is specifically for weight loss surgery patients -- for the weeks, months and years after surgery. Lifestyle, that's what I need to learn...both in practical terms as well as intellectual.
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
 

Getting restless

20 October 2006   Passed the 10-week pre-surgery mark this week and am getting restless. I wish I didnt' have to wait so long to get the band. I want to get going!! But as a self-pay, the only way to do it is to go to Mexico, and the only way to get it done in Mexico requires being away mid-week, and I just can't skip any mid-week rehearsals for Singers or church choir until after Christmas. So I'm waiting.   The growing number (at least five, maybe more) of Island Bandits (or soon-to-be) are working toward organizing a support group. Booklady has initiated a get together on Sun. afternoon, Nov. 12. It will be good to spend an hour with people going through or having had the same experience. I need that for encouragement while it WAIT.   I am trying to incorporate various Bandit routines now, to make the transition smoother, such as drinking small amounts of water every 15 minutes. I bought a little timer last weekend to help me, and about every other day I manage to remember to start it, and remember to keep restarting it for about half a day. I still have almost 10 weeks to get this simple lifestyle thing down, and as Booklady pointed out, nothing bad happens if you don't stick to the schedule rugorously.   She looks wonderful. Has been banded since late July with one fill, and has lost 40 pounds. If I emulate her success, I can be under 200 pounds by the time of the Singers' spring concert. That will mean a lot to me. There are lots of clothes in my closet that I'm looking forward to wearing again that won't fit until I get donw under 200 pounds.
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
 

Getting ready to go

22 December 2006 I'm on Day 10 of the two-week pre-op liquid diet and doing well. The past three weeks have been hectic with concerts and commitments and wrapping up year-end things at the store, plus wild weather. The weight loss through this has been easy, in part because of my grief over the sudden death of my oldest car on Dec. 3. And this past week I have been doctoring cat #3 who has developed liver issues. I was sure I would take her with me back to California, and after three days of vet visits it appears again that I will. She's bouncing back slowly. Looking after her helps to keep my mind off my own stuff. I am looking forward to a productive weekend at home, cleaning up old stuff, packing for the trip to Puerta Vallarta, and looking forward to a new me in the New Year. I have made all my travel arrangements, including giving pre-authorization for the credit card charge for the surgery payment, and lining up my birth certificate and other travel docs. Ginny (who is traveling with me) has been a great cheerleader along the way, and I'm looking forward to a little dedicated girl time with her. We both so need a break from the Theatre! My only anxiety about the trip is leaving Sylvia and Salem with once-a-day cat care for a week. I'm already looking forward to coming home to them again. :youcandothis:
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
 

Another Island Bandit

6 October 2006   I have discovered another Island Bandit, who also is a Theatre patron. He's been banded four about four months and has lost 50 pounds with no problems at all, which is encouraging since I believe he has had a number of health challenges prior to surgery.   I've also begun to participate in the Lap Band Talk forums, with replies on several threads, particularly to questions about nutrition -- getting the word out about non-soy/whey protein options, liquid nutritionals, stevia, etc.   My sister has offered to join me and Ginny in P.V. post-surgery to help entertain me during my recovery. I know Mom and Dad will feel better about that, and I certainly will, too.   I began browsing around some of the P.V. travel sites today to see what we might do with ourselves besides sit in a vegetative state by the pool or the beach, and I just roared laughing when I found Master Baiters Sportfishing & Tackle...Guaranteed Catch. Well, I would think so.:heh:
NW Island Girl

NW Island Girl

1
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