I really should have started this earlier, but guess I wasn't ready to get real and honest. Not sure if I'm ready now...but here goes!
July 13th was the first day of my pre-op diet. I said a proper goodbye to all my favorites the week before, including a big bottle of vodka...ok...maybe 2 (being honest here). I said a prayer that morning asking for strength, and BOY did someone ever hear me! I embraced my new way of eating and not drinking right then & there. Thanks be to God, without his love I would not be where I am!
The 2 weeks before surgery flew by and I stayed on track almost 100%. Even when we went to Dallas for 3 days. I did splurge on sugar free yogurt and a few Adkins snacks, but I always was mindful of my carb limit....I was scared that I had blown my liver up so much that the doctor would not be able to find my stomach! So I kept those carbs low!!!
So here I am, day 3 after surgery. I am up earlier than I have been in years - voluntarily - and I just enjoyed a beautiful sunrise with my dog & a cup of tea. I am so thankful for this life change, and I pray that I stay on track. I have told God that I am not just changing my body, but my life.
OK, time to try and put something else on besides jammies and get outside and walk before it gets too hot!
Well, technically still my first since I freaked out the first time. But, I need it for sure! The past few weeks have been not so good. I lost focus, ate larger portions, drank wine, ate when I wasn't hungry, etc. The scale shows it, too. Funny how that happens and how surgically altering my body still hasn't made that fact stick in my brain yet!
OK, all that is in the past. New start, new focus and a fill. I also picked up a copy of Jackie Warner's book "This is why you're fat". I learned a lot about sugar and its addictive hold. I went through my pantry and was shocked at how much sugar is added into "good" food! My favorite Kashi cereal has 13 grams per serving and I eat it with skim milk which has another 13 grams of sugar! Good grief! I'm going to follow her nutrition & exercise advice and see how it goes. I am ready for Onederland for sure! My goal is to be there before the start of basketball season, November 1st. I'll keep posting, that has a way of making me accountable!
Finally! Got on the scale this morning and I am at 212, after hovering at 215 since 8/13! Another first for me: I kept to plan, recorded all my calories, worked out and kept positive. In the past I would have used the scale's non-movement as an excuse to binge (poor me, nothing is working...and so on). I did get nervous, and got advice from a lot of you. But in the end had complete confidence that what I was doing was right and the scale would eventually show it! I think I will celebrate with a tough workout!
Thank you all for your continued support! This blog has been so therapeutic for me! I hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy weekend!!!
I got on the scale this morning.....119.5! I have lingered in the 220's for almost 5 years now, so I thought a special goodbye was in order.........
Goodbye cruel 220's. You started as a burst to 222 one day 5 years ago, when I discovered the Picato Burrito at my favorite Tex Mex place. I tried to beat you back down to the teens, but you would have nothing of it. Instead, you let me hover from 225-228 for years. I joined a gym, you laughed, I started Weight Watchers, you showed me the new pizza place around the corner. You actually let me sneak to 118 once when I was on Jenny Craig, but 2 weeks later you lured me back in. Your grip only loosened last year when you allowed me to venture into the 230's...you guys must be friends. It's been a long, bumpy (and lumpy) ride 220's, but good riddance. I am stronger than you now. I will never see you or the bad habits and bad choices I need to be in you again! Now on to the battle of the teens!
Thank you my glorious God for the strength you have given me!!!
Well, its a week past my post op appointment and I haven't lost anything since! I am down 25 since 7/13 and am very pleased with that, so I am not discouraged. I think I hit a plateau because I am having trouble eating enough calories - about 1000 a day (trying to get to 1200). I boosted my exercise today, so that should help. Anyone else experiencing this?
I got on the scale today and I am down 18lbs from July 13th - surgery was on the 28th. I have been looking at my broth and juice as fuel and nourishment, but I can tell my body is ready for something a little more substantial. I will view these next few broth & juice days as a cleansing and preparation time needed to prepare myself for the next phase. I do feel hungry, but I know it won't last. Plus, I have not been hungry in years, this isn't going to kill me...just might make me stronger!
Project for the week: I am going to start looking for a hobby! Something that I can enjoy and grow with!
Yeah! Got through the first week with only pain in my left side, so intense when I moved that I had to stop my daily walks. I thought it was from the port, but found out it's a stubborn gas bubble! Back to walking for me...only way to get those nasty bubbles out!
I caught myself today reverting back to an old habit. I made 2 packages of sugar free jello in a big bowl and sat down to have some. I was watching TV and didn't realize how much I ate until I was way past the normal serving size. I was very careless. Now had this been anything else, I could have gotten sick. So, note to self - portion out what I am going to eat and no eating in front of the TV. It's so easy to fall into the mindless grazing for me, so I must be very diligent.
On a good note, I am down 20lbs from the start of the pre-op diet (7/13), my clothes are lose and even my face is getting smaller! Now that I can do protien shakes, my energy level is much higher and I am getting a lot more done!
I had an epiphany a few days ago...My typical Friday night consisted of the family & friends going to our local Tex Max place for dinner. I would gorge myself on chips & salsa and one of those HUGE margaritas while we looked at the menu. I would order a full dinner, finish it along with maybe a small margarita if I wasn't driving. I would leave feeling stuffed, not sleep well and wake up feeling bloated and gross the next day.
This past Friday I had a cup of broth, stopped when I started to feel full. I went to bed at a decent hour, slept well and woke up and went for a walk.
I am being honest with myself so I had to ask myself "OK, do you feel like you're missing out, how do you feel about this". I can honestly say that I still feel like I have made the right and best choice for myself. I am working on finding other things that make me happy that don't involve food or alcohol. "Been there, done that, doesn't work for me", is what I will keep telling myself when faced with challenges as they come.....which I know they will! I am still in the infant stage of this whole journey, so the words and actions are a lot easier to come up with. I will continue to pray to God for strength and love every single day!
This has been a busy & fun week so far! I said in my last blog that I was going to announce to my bunco group that I had done the LAP-BAND®®, but decided instead to keep it to myself. I'm just not ready to "go public". Plus, I know if they are curious, they will ask! I cooked all 16 women a great, healthy dinner and some desserts that were a bit indulgent, and that did not bother me at all! I kept myself busy talking with everyone and really enjoyed myself, the night was a success!
Today was my 2 week post op appt and I am down 24 & 1/2 pounds! I feel like a new woman already! Everything checked out perfect & I was released to the "mushy" food stage...oh boy! The one thing I cannot wait for is my 4 week mark, when I can get back to the gym. I have been walking almost every day, and my body really feels like it needs more. Plus, it will help tighten up skin as I continue to lose. I am excited to go to the gym after how many years?? I am embracing every step of this journey and am loving my new life!
Thank you God for my continued strength!
