So about a week ago we all found out one of my dear friends has ovarian cancer. While watching "The Revolution" last week, a woman who has beaten thyroid cancer came on and shared her recipe for a juice that she attributes her wellness and cancer free body to. My son got a juicer for Christmas (his favorite present!), and he said "Mom, we can make her that juice every day". My son has known my friend for his entire life, saw my stress and sadness for her, and found a way to to feel useful in an uncontrollable situation. So off to the store we went! I have been bringing her this juice for a few days now and figured I could probably benefit myself from this green goop I was making her drink. I'm not sure if my friend (who had a complete hysterectomy and is preparing for chemo) is feeling the benefits - but I bet her body is responding. What I wasn't expecting was the way my body would respond to this concoction! Day 4 of drinking this juice and I feel like a new woman!!! Since day 2, I awake alert & perky, not sluggish and without energy. Today I had the BEST workout I have had in 10 years! It's like a fog haze has been chased from my head and the old me (me in my 40's) has returned. Now granted, it's just day 4 and my body might just be in shock from all the good stuff I am pumping into it, but who cares! Even if this feeling goes away in a week, I am going to keep up with my magic juice! What will be interesting is if it has any effect on the scale....I will keep you all posted!
Hi fellow bandsters! I had another one of those "then & now" moments today while I was out riding my bike. We were at mile 10 when my son asked if we should stop or do 5 more. What's 5 more was my reply! And off we went.
Back before Bandolina became part of my body, that was my reaction when I would get on the scale and it was up 5 pounds. Or when I was eating just about anything....never about moving my body!
Thought I wouls share!
Hi fellow bloggers! It has been a while since I made an entry, but I check in all the time to see how everyone is doing. I thought I would put a positive note out there on how the holidays haven't been ruined for me because I am no longer able to eat 2nds!
I started my journey 75+ pounds ago. Last year I was down about 50 when the holidays hit and I was amazed at how I was able to have an incredible time without all the food that had been associated with the "fun" of the holidays. What I did discover, and continue to discover, is that it's all about the people we spend time with...not the food. We had half my daughter's basketball team for Thanksgiving this year and I was so busy I almost forgot to eat...WHAT? Me? I don't even taste the food to make sure it's good anymore, I just somehow know now! Again, what? 50 years of battling the holidays and I finally figure it out? So how did I get there?
Well, lots of trial & error, but what it finally boiled down to was I saw my sweet Bandolina as the boss of me, and not my magic cure all. Bandolina doesn't like chips...I can sneak some past her, but too many meant my tummy was turned upside down. Bandolina was happy when I ate in moderation and made good choices, which meant the rest of my body was happy and cooperative. Bandolina didn't say a thing when I "drank" my dinner one time, she just let all my other organs know it was time to rebel. Bandolina and I have had some head butting, but in the end, she's there to help guide me through all of the difficult choices, remind me when I make bad ones and all & all, be there for me to help make me successful! It is truly a team effort. I have had some serious health issues this past month that i KNOW I would not have gotten through had I been where I was 3
years ago, Bandolina helped me help my body to get where I am. We are in it for the long run & are in it together! I hope all of you get there too!
Hi fellow bandster bloggers. It's been a while since I have blogged, not much has happened until this week. Still trying to ditch the last 15 of my 90 lb goal. Haven't been able to exercise because of a hernia that will be repaired at the end of the month & honestly, I haven't been watching my fat intake with my calories. I have indulged in chicken wings on Sundays while watching football, Mexican food, oreos (just one time!), and other bad choices like that. I have kept my calories in check though...so what's the harm, right? If I eat 5 wings at 600 calories and have a light breakfast & low cal salad for dinner, I'm OK right? I wasn't gaining, so all is good. I thought the same for the other foods, I have been doing this for months.....
Then Thursday came. It started with a pain across my ribcage that felt like severe gas. I lied down on the coach for a few minutes and it went away. An hour later it hit again, the pain was so severe I thought I was having a heart attack. I was covered in sweat and shaking, my right arm hurt and was numb. My neighbor brought me some gas-x but that didn't help so she called 911. Of course the pain was gone when EMS got here, so again I thought it was severe gas. My heart was OK, so everyone went home. An hour later the 3rd one hit, this time my neighbor took me to the ER. After being poked & probed for hours, a sonogram revealed that my gallbladder was full of stones and has to be removed, surgery is on Monday.
My doctor said many things could attribute to this; large weight loss in a short period of time, consumption of fatty foods and hereditary, to name a few. I hit the trifecta with the first three. After a call to my mother I found out my dad had his gallbladder removed after years of issues with it.
Apparently gallstones occur in a large number of people who have had WLS and have lost a substantial amount. I don't remember reading about this in the brochures, but it should have been obvious to me that my food choices, once again, needed to be in check. So please, fellow bandster, keep away from fatty, fried foods!
Does anyone get and/or know why I get a pins & needles sensation on the roof of my mouth sometimes after my first sip of liquids in the morning? It is very annoying and has only happened since I was banded.
Thanks!
Yes, it's my bandiversary! I looked back at my previous blogs and I cannot believe how much has changed, but shockingly, how much has stayed the same. I can sum up the positive changes in one instance - my husband & I went on an escape this weekend downtown (got a hotel room for the night & went out). A year ago I would not have even agreed to go. That day and night we walked all over downtown, probably over 5 miles total. A year ago, that would have killed me! We had lunch at a hotdog shack (hubby's choice), I ordered a chili cheese dog and ate 1/4 of it, avoiding the cheese & bread. A year ago I would have eaten the entire thing and more than half of the chili cheese fries hubby ordered. We walked some more & went back to the hotel to nap & "have fun". A year ago, I would have napped, then made an excuse for not being able to "have fun". I'm not gonna elaborate there, lets just say we had fun. After that, we went out for dinner at an amazing steak house. A year ago, I would have ordered everything; appetiser, salad, dinner, desert, the whole 9 yards. This time I only ordered an appetizer of pan seared Ahi tuna because of my guilt from my lunch choice! And I was totally satisfied. Then we walked some more and found a place with an awesome band, and I danced! I danced like a fool! A year ago, I would have already been in bed, overstuffed and exhausted from and exertion! It was a great getaway for us, because of the changes the lapband has made for me.
Ok, now on to what hasn't changed. I still eat when I get stressed. I still eat when I am happy. If I find a loophole (when I find a food that my band doesn't hate) I over indulge. Living with my band is an organic, ever changing thing that I still have to force myself to learn from.
I have learned so much this year and am so thankful for that! I know if I hadn't been "banded" when I was, my life would not be in the positive place it is now.
I remember last Memorial day well. My son was participating in his first triathlon. I was 70lbs heavier, waddling around the thousands of athletes taking pictures of my son and the city. My legs and feet were swollen and sore by the end of the day and I was exhausted. I remember feeling so low, so sad, so hopeless, so out of place among all those healthy, active people.
This Memorial day I still had my camera...but gave it to my husband so he could take pictures of our son doing his second triathlon and ME participating in my first! (just the bike leg on a relay team this year). I was standing in the bike corral surrounded by thousands of bikes watching the sun come up and it all hit me.... How far I have come, how much my life has changed, how I don't feel out of place anymore. I cried a little, said a prayer & kicked butt for 20ks! Next year....first Tri on my own. Let's see what this next year brings!
I had to get on & off the scale a bunch of times today...can that be right? I have not seen that number on the scale in about 10 years....and that time it was like a fluke and only lasted a few months! I have been up and down for the past few months...too much wine during the week, not always making good choices, skipping the gym. Well, spring is the time for new beginnings and also a time to start wearing white capris (GASP!). Got back in the gym on a consistent basis, started my training for the bike leg of a triathlon on May 30th and back to the old food log. I haven't weighed myself for about 3 weeks, but got suspicious when every singe pair of size 12's I tried on yesterday fit with ease! (Size 12 may sound big to some of you, but I am 5' 8" and have a big frame, so 12 is awesome to me!). I am thinking I may even get to a size 10 when I am at goal! How is that possible? I am still amazed every time I see myself in a mirror. I was so obese for so long, sometimes I don't realize its me! Now every single part of me is smaller, including my fingers and feet! A very dear friend just had her surgery last week. I am so excited for her and for all of you starting this amazing journey. It truly has been life changing for me.
Thank you to God!
Like another bandster who wrote about a comment she got on her narrow hips, I have never heard those words come from my husband's mouth! Let alone anyone's! All these years I bought clothes to try and disguise or hide my butt, now I have to look for clothes to NOT hide them! Laugh out flippin loud!
Thank you God for all of the little miracles!
OK, I remember vividly last year's Triathlon; my son's first and a chance for my husband, daughter & myself to volunteer for cancer victims. I can remember how completely out of place I felt, even with all the volunteers....the fattest person waddling amongst thousands of athletes. I had my camera & took shots of everyone being active & participating, while my body ached from all the effort. I felt so disconnected, so out of place. I hated that day, first time ever to admit it. I was so envious of all the regular people who took a huge leap and committed themselves to something way outside their comfort zone! I wanted to be out there with them...but I could barely walk. As I said, I will never forget that day. And now a year later, that day is coming again. This year, I am not just 65 pounds lighter, but I am leg 2 of the triathlon on a team raising money for a 4 year old boy who has cancer! Same team my son raced for last year! I have had to walk away from this blog several times because I keep crying! I am so happy to be where I am health wise and so happy to be able to contribute! This has absolutely been a life changing experience for me. I am so thankful. What a difference a year makes!
OK, size 12 means different things to different people. To me it means "I'm there", "I'm normal". So I am still a good 20 pounds away from what me & my doctor thing I should weigh, size 12 is still unreachable in my mind. Today my hubby & I went to the mall out of boardom and he found some things for me to try on..."What size are you now?" he asked..."12!" I said knowing noooooo way. I got in the dressing room & just for laughs tried on one of the 12's...it fit, they all fit. Holy crap, I have not fit in a 12 for over 15 years. They must have changed the way they size things, right?
I can't believe it has been 7 months already! It feels like an entire life time ago that I went under the knife and got the band. I had a rough patch from November to mid February...I only lost 10 pounds. So here is what the old me would have done - give up, knowing that I will never get to my "goal" and decide that I look OK at that weight...then eventually gain everything back. Here's what the new me did - got tired of the scale eaking slowly down, changed my menu (I had been eating a lot of the same stuff every day, not bad stuff, just all the same) got back to the gym with a workout buddy (I had been blowing off my workouts, she makes me accountable!) and BAM...5 pounds gone in 2 weeks! It feels great to be back on track!
My kids never said anything about my weight to me, even as I am loosing. They do say things like "Before you had surgery, you never did anything with us" and my favorite from my son "Why do you always look so nice?". I do do more things with my kids because I love to be out and alive, not hidden in my house. I can move; simple acts like getting in and out of the car are no longer an issue for me! And I do dress nice every day! No more huge t-shirts and whatever ugly pair of Capris fit me best and flip flops. Clothes fit me and look good on me for the first time in years, even shoes fit me better. I let my hair stylist update my very 80's hair cut; I now have short hair! Something I would never have done 7 months ago. My husband says he loves having his hot wife back.
I can't begin to describe all of the changes I have been through. I still have issues to work through, but they are not nearly as overwhelming as they were 7 months ago. I have slowly chipped away at my bad habits and have replaced them with good ones. I am close to my original goal and may lower it when I get there, and that doesn't freak me out..
Life is good!
OK, so I have been avoiding my blog for a while. Why? Because I don't have my normal "everything is going great" things to write. Truth is, I have not been a good bandster for a while....learned how to eat & drink around the band. So, in trying to break old habits, I am going to put my bad stuff out there instead of hiding from it and pretending it doesn't exist. So where to start....one example; I found that I have trouble with grilled chicken breast, gets stuck easily and can be painful. Then I found that chicken in a burrito with beans & bad bad cheese doesn't give me any problems. So I am back at my favorite Mexican place that helped get me to over 240 in the first place. I have also found that if dinner gives me issues, the wine I have with it doesn't so having a liquid dinner is getting a little too easy. I have also slacked off with exercising. I have gained 4 pounds for the first time since being banded. Not the direction I need to go.
So why? What the heck, WHY? I KNOW better for crying out loud! I am 20...no wait, now make that 24...pounds from my goal! The holidays aren't an excuse, I did have a fabulous Thanksgiving and haven't been tempted at parties or anything like that. This is just me not letting me reach my goal. Why? Where is my earlier resolve, that drive I had even before I got banded. Why is the old me rearing it's ugly head again? I surgically altered my body to get rid of that part of me, and she just won't leave! Time to delve a little deeper, time to get back to basics, crap...here I go again. I knew this was a journey when I signed up, I just thought I was stronger this time and wouldn't face so many hills along the way.
When you go to reply to a blog, which so many of us do, it goes to a personal message for some reason. Am I doing something wrong? Or does this new format just suck all over?????
The actual 1990's were wonderful for me; had both my kids, settled into our home & community, I was happy and will hang on to those memories for the rest of my life. Now the actual 191-199 weight range is another story!
Going up the scale, I remember feeling angry, depressed, ashamed, hopeless and out of control. It all started with the upper 170's and 180's when I had to quit teaching aerobics because of my knees, but that's a whole other good bye yet to come! When I hit 190, I started shopping at Lane Bryant. I would tear the Lane Bryant labels from the clothes as soon as I got home because I was so embarrassed. I started avoiding school outings and social events that I used to love. I have a memory BURNED into my head that makes me cry when I think of it. My son and I were going through old pictures and he found one of him & I in his classroom, we were both smiling, having a blast. He said "We never do this anymore". It hurts just typing this....I probably ate myself into a stupor after that one. I view the 190's as my "gateway" weight...so close to turning back, but instead I propelled myself up to over 240. OK, that was then...this is now
Going down the scale the 190's haven't been so bad. I started out squeezing myself into my old size 14 jeans and now they are loose on me. I get to feeling pretty good, and then I go clothes shopping...then those lovely mirrors remind me I have to keep going and stay on track! I have had so many sweet compliments from people, including my son's 14 year old friends! Who would think they would even notice! I have opened myself up to new friendships (something I hated doing when I was obese) and new experiences. My husband and I are like honeymooners again! I had no idea how much me being obese hurt him. He is just now sharing his feelings (as best a man can lol!). My kids are proud of me.....though they never ever said it, it pains me to think that they weren't for so long.
So, good bye 190's. A large part of my life was wasted with you. I hope I have learned from you and never see you again!
OK, that took me 2 days of contemplation & over an hour & a box of Kleenex to type! Now that I have said a proper good bye, it's off to the gym to battle the 80's!
Thank you God for your love and strength!
Not only do I look better, my dinner plate looked fantastic! I spent the day cooking as always, but didn't eat a little something of everything I cooked all day like I have for years. I ate a healthy breakfast before I got started and that got me through until our early dinner. I took a moment after Grace to look at what I had put on my plate. One slice of ham, one small scoop of mashed sweet potatoes (with skim milk & a little butter - not the kind with brown sugar & marshmallows! and more nutrition than white potatoes), one small scoop of scalloped potatoes and plain green beans. No rolls, no added butter, no stuffing, no gravy. I eyed the scalloped potatoes and knew that if I treated myself to the portion I had - and didn't go for seconds - that I would be OK with an extra workout tomorrow. I spent the whole dinner time enjoying my family and barely focusing on my food. I made some lovely desserts and just watched everyone enjoy them, I was full and passed on dessert (WHAT?). Oh, and we decided as a family that our new tradition for Thanksgiving is to participate in the annual Turkey Trot in our city. My son ran the 5 mile race this morning and my hubby & I walked all over town following him, then we figured why not grab our daughter & join him!
So here's how the past 20 something years have gone.......huge family breakfast with eggs, tortillas, sausage & hash browns, then I cook all day "sampling" everything to make sure it was OK to serve. As I made deviled eggs today, I remembered last year eating at least 5 just in the sampling process. Then at dinner time, I would eat a very loaded plate with large portions of everything all topped with gravy, and a big glass of wine. I would always go back for seconds. I would focus more on my plate & what needed to be added to make it taste better...more salt? more gravy? than I would the people at the table. Then an hour later the apple pie was done. Time for a slice of that with ice cream, oh, and don't forget the pumpkin pie! I would just blow off the calories because it was Thanksgiving after all!
Wow. I can't answer why I ever let myself get there, because I honestly don't know. All I can do is be thankful for where I am and pray to God for strength to continue on this path! I love where I am in life right now and could not have gotten here without the lapband and the support of my family and everyone on here! I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving with loved ones...as long as the loved ones weren't topped with gravy or ice cream!
Got on the scale this morning and was thrilled when it read 195! I have not weighed this amount since my niece's graduation 7 years ago! It's funny, because I remember weighing myself the day we left to go see her and I cried when I saw I weighed 195...I was so embarrassed and didn't want anyone to see me. Today I am looking forward to seeing everyone, I feel better than I have in many, many years. I think the difference between now and then is; back then the scale kept going up, now it is going the right way. I celebrated my new "low" with a great workout and healthy breakfast. Life is good, thank you God!
October was not a good month for me. A lot of stressfull things happened and I returned to some bad habits with out even realizing it. I only lost 2 pounds, so I scheduled another fill and it snapped me back on track! I need to dig deep and figure out why it was so easy for me to not take better care of myself. Another step in the journey! I am going to try and post a before and now picture...hope it works!
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It was slow going, but I'm there! 198.5 this morning! I started this journey 7/13/10 at 240, had my surgery 7/28/10 and I am so thrilled with my progress! I feel stronger every day. My happiness about my weight this morning made it a snap to snub the breakfast tacos hubby brought home and choose a plum instead.
Thank you God!
Getting closer! My goal to get below 200 was for November 1st, but it looks like I will be there a lot sooner! I feel fantastic, better than I have in years! It's been a little rough the past few weeks. I have had to get back to basics and really stop and listen to my body and distinguish the difference between "it's noon so it's time too eat" and "I'm not hungry, so it's not time to eat". Once I did that, the scale started moving again.
I did make a bad mistake last night with one of my old habits. I was making dinner for the kids and "tested" the chicken to make sure it was done (I calculated that in the past I was "testing" about 200 calories before I even sat down for dinner). I wasn't even thinking, popped it in my mouth...it was dry...didn't chew very well.....I was in pain for 2 hours with that darned stuck chicken! That hopefully will teach me NOT to "test" anymore!! I am sticking to fish for a while....
My next goal: This may sound weird, but I love taking pictures at my kid's games. I have a great camera & lens and I get some incredible football photos. However, they are all at the same level because I am not able to squat down. Well, technically I probably could, but won't even try for fear of not being able to hoist myself back up! So, my next goal is to be able to get lower so I can get the player's facial expressions and not just helmet & shadows.
I owe this all to the strength & love God has given me. I pray every chance I get for it all to continue! Thank you God!!!
Well, technically still my first since I freaked out the first time. But, I need it for sure! The past few weeks have been not so good. I lost focus, ate larger portions, drank wine, ate when I wasn't hungry, etc. The scale shows it, too. Funny how that happens and how surgically altering my body still hasn't made that fact stick in my brain yet!
OK, all that is in the past. New start, new focus and a fill. I also picked up a copy of Jackie Warner's book "This is why you're fat". I learned a lot about sugar and its addictive hold. I went through my pantry and was shocked at how much sugar is added into "good" food! My favorite Kashi cereal has 13 grams per serving and I eat it with skim milk which has another 13 grams of sugar! Good grief! I'm going to follow her nutrition & exercise advice and see how it goes. I am ready for Onederland for sure! My goal is to be there before the start of basketball season, November 1st. I'll keep posting, that has a way of making me accountable!
209 this morning! No more teens! Started this journey 7/13/2010 at 240. Looking forward to saying goodbye to the 200's all together!
Thank you God! Have a great weekend everyone!
OK, so I thought I had prepared myself mentally, but boy was I wrong! I worked myself and my stomach (which made things so much worse) into such a tizzy, that they ended up having to remove 4 of the 6 DROPS they added. If only I knew how easy a fill would be prior, things would have gone so much smoother!
So, to my friends who have yet to have a fill:
1. It does NOT hurt! I am the biggest baby when it comes to needles, and I swear, I did not even feel a tenth of what I do when they take blood!
2. Relax and be calm. The band does react to stress (makes sense, we all feel stress in our stomachs!) and can make the fill very uncomfortable.
I go back in 2 weeks and I know it will go better!!!
Finally! Got on the scale this morning and I am at 212, after hovering at 215 since 8/13! Another first for me: I kept to plan, recorded all my calories, worked out and kept positive. In the past I would have used the scale's non-movement as an excuse to binge (poor me, nothing is working...and so on). I did get nervous, and got advice from a lot of you. But in the end had complete confidence that what I was doing was right and the scale would eventually show it! I think I will celebrate with a tough workout!
Thank you all for your continued support! This blog has been so therapeutic for me! I hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy weekend!!!
