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one picture = so much damage...

i WAS really excited about the 18 pounds that i'd lost... i WAS really encouraged to "keep going"...i really believed that this lapband would finally help me to reach my goal... and then someone took a picture of me at the beach this yesterday....actually, they took 3 pictures!!! I look horrible!!! i look fatter than i even knew i was... who am i kidding? this band isn't going to work...it's just been an even bigger waste of money and time than anything else i've tried.... nothing is going to help me loose 100 pounds... I dont even plan to return to my doctor anymore.... no more fills, no more waste of time & $$$. I give up! :frown:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Daddy's "LITTLE" girl...

(yesterday) I told my dad that i lost 18 pounds (b/c he is VERY displeased w/my weight gain) His reply: "hmpf! from where?!" so that let me know that i'm so fat, the 18 pounds isnt even noticable! I know that i should ignore him and i know his comment was mean but he's still an important person in my life. he is a big reason that i want to loose weight. he really doesnt like me fat. i think i even embarrass him around his friends and our family.....:frown:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

new weird thing....

ok, so now my band is doing this new weird thing ("the band" has a life of its own!!!!)... the first few bites of anything i eat wont go down! no matter how much i chew!!! it gets stuck...so i have to wait, wait, wait...walk around w/my hands up in the air, etc.... but everything after that goes down fine....slowly but fine....Bizarrooo!!! I've actually had to puke several times over the last few days. I know thats not good...so i went back to the basics: protein shakes in the morning and mushies (heavy on the protien side...pureed meat) throughout the rest of the day...maybe my band is irratated so i need to baby it? the odder thing is, my band is tight but i still never feel full....maybe it is in my head?? well, i guess i wont be going to get that fill next Fri??? I havent gone anywhere near a scale b/c i figure right about now is when the damage of my last vacation should be showing up! we're leaving for Tampa tomorrow but the hotel has a gym and i have NO intentions of repeating my "vacation splurge" of last month!! LOL!

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

short shorts....

so i've never been one for "short shorts", even back before when i was "skinny". I've always been modest and gravitated toward longer, walking length style shorts. Well, i found a cute little pair of shorts in Kohl's, on the clearence rack, the other day and they fit!! They were NOT "Daisy Dukes" mind you!! (I've lost a little weight, not my mind!!! :scared2:LOL!) I put them on today and admired myself in the mirror....what the heck was looking back at me??? "dimples" lots of them!!! all over my legs!!! when did i develope Cellulite???????? :cursing:UGH! so i dug the tag out of the trash can and put the shorts back in the bag (return!!!).... *sigh*.......

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

confessions of an "Olive Gardener"........

Today we celebrated a special occassion w/some good friends... we ended up going to Olive Garden....I'm not gonna' lie and say that "i ate well", but i will tell the truth and say that i ate much better than I would have eaten just 2 months ago!!!! I did NOT have any breadsticks!! (and they are so yummy at OG!!) I did NOT have any wine! (I toasted with the glass, then poured the wine into my husband's glass! - smart!) I ate a small plate of salad but did NOT add dressing. I ate the tomato part of the Brushetta but NOT the bread!! (mmmm.... that is so good alone!! i never realized that before)!! I ordered eggplant parmisan (b/c it is mushy and i'm technically still s'posed to be eating "mush"!!!) but i did NOT eat all of the eggplant slices - only 2 or 3!! I did NOT eat the pasta that came w/it!! I did order desssert!!! (mmmmm.... that chocolate mousse thingie is to die for!!! and besides-its SOFT!!!! :laugh: LOL!) but i did NOT finish it!!! only ate half!!! so i figure i ate far less than even 1/2 of what i would have normally eaten!!! so i'm still ahead of the game!!! :smile2:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

My First "STUCK"!!!! (and I'm so happy!!!)

So just now I had my first "stuck"!!! :ohmy: - What I thought was 'stuck' before (w/the dinner bread at restaurant) was only an "almost stuck".... - I slept late so I just now got around to eating (12:30)...b/c of the time, I skipped my breakfast shake and went for my veggies (steamed soft) and chicken (pureed).... I had the exact same thing for dinner last night (4:30) and it was fine.... but today it would NOT go down!!! About my 2nd swallow, I felt incredible pain! …a knot in my throat/chest, the "gurgling", eyes watering, hard to breathe...I had the incredible urge to BURP! like a big "man-like", rude, burp! Deep and Loud! (LOL!) :rolleyes2: ... but it wouldn’t come. - I walked as quickly as I could to the bathroom (didn’t want to alarm my kids. they don’t know about my LB) I vomited but still couldn’t burp!!! I did not want to vomit again… so I walked around the house w/my hands up, etc.... and now I’m blogging to keep me "distracted".... - I don’t know why this happened? Maybe I didn’t chew well enough? I was very hungry, so I might have swallowed too fast? I have been chewing, my already mushy food, to liquid form before swallowing...sounds gross but it’s been working... - I hope this doesnt mean that I gained weight, so my band got tighter??? I say this b/c the last doc that filled me said that i was having so much put in (10.75 by 3rd fill) b/c i didnt have much abdominal/belly fat and people like me have a hard time tightening thier band. - Anyway...I am still glad :thumbup: I had this bad experience! This is my first time vomiting! I know that sounds odd, but up until now, I really didn’t feel “banded”! I thought the Doc couldn’t get my band tight enough and this was just not going to work for me... Now it’s official! … now I know: I HAVE RESTRICTION!!! WHOO-HOO!! :w00t:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

jean shorts....dooooooown!

Whoo-Hooo! I just pulled down my jean shorts w/o unzipping them!! you see them over there on the floor?? do you hear them crying? you know WHY they're crying?? b/c I'm never going to wear them anymore!! they're never going to go any fun places w/me again! I'm leaving you, baggy shorts! get over me :tt2:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Doctor's visit...

Went to my LB Doc today....was so excited to weigh-in but then my "monthly" came on this morning!!!!! that puts 3-5 pounds on me (temporarily) every time!!! but i still weighed in 18 pounds down!!! so that means I could be as much as 23 pounds down!! love it! I return to my general doc Fri (which is the original scale that I weighed in pre-op). So I can weigh-in there and get an accurate reading!!! BTW-the nurse made a mistake when she logged my weight originally (today) and ADDED 5 pounds!!:cool2: I was so upset when the doc read my chart to me that he let me weigh again and sure enough, I was right!!! :thumbup:He fixed her mistake on my chart!! everything else checked out fine. I'm exactly 2 months and 1 day post op. the doc and the nutritionalist were both pleased all around. I am going for a 3rd fill Wednesday (6/30)....just a little should do it b/c I can tell that I'm almost there! :thumbup: The nurse says that it seems like I need one more fill.

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Fill 'er up! or not???

went for fill #3 yesterday.... arrived at 10:15.....sat & sat & sat & sat...the "filler" was a "no show"... we were told that there was "an emergency" in the OR and she would be to us by 12:00....sooooo....we sat & sat & sat.... 1:00... still "no show"!!! so i had to leave ... hungry and w/o a fill!!! I managed to get in this morning w/another Doc. She gave me 2cc which brings me to a total of 10.75 in my band....i wont know how that feels until i start back on solids in about 3-4 wks!!! i have 3 days of clear liquids right now, which i've affectionately come to refer to as "LapBandHell"....:laugh:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

vacation food has zero calories???

Someone told me that the food you consume while on vacation has ZERO calories!!! Is this true?? ....... of course not!! LOL! but it made for a great vacation! I just got back from Puerto Rico.... i started off trying to "eat right" and log everything in my food diary but it was close to impossible!!! most of the food wasnt "American" and couldnt be found in my reference chart...I didnt have internet access and i didnt have enough time in the day to log stuff! I got stuck twice while out to eat... i guess i didnt chew my meat properly? maybe b/c i was so hungry by the time the food arrived? I definitely did NOT over-eat anything!! my band was tight and my pouch is super small!!! but i can NOT say that WHAT i ate was "good"!! I discovered this wonderful italian eatery w/homemade ice cream and gelato!!! Mmmmmm.... then there was the capaccino w/cool whip, the tostones, the arroz con pollo, dulces...........blah*blah*blah*** I did get in a good amount of "exercize" ~ we walked a lot and i played in the waves.... my "new" clothes (the old ones that I can fit back into) still fit -for now (I know the "damage" doesnt always show up for a week or two) I got right back on my treadmill this morning and had a good workout!! My eatting is now back on track....So I feel good PS - I REALLY did miss this site! I missed reading about all of your highs & lows. It will take me a few days to catch up on all your blogs but I'm glad to be back!!!

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Strawberry Shortcake Bandit!

Yesterday at the food area of a conference that I was attending, I spotted one of those Hershey's Strawberry Shortcake bars in the freezer… (the vanilla ice cream on a stick covered w/tan and pink crumbles....you know? so good!) I grabbed it (telling myself "no! no!") I walked away with it like I had an illegal drug! I start unwrapping it, slowly. I only got a corner of the paper off and noticed that it had obviously melted at some point and refroze (is that a word?) I still tasted a nibble (didn’t taste too bad...but "no! no!" my little band said!) I tasted another small nibble - hand to mouth:tongue_smilie:... I never did put the pop to my mouth. I never did unwrap it completely. I looked around for the nearest garbage...Shucks, that one was for "paper only"!!! The other for "bottles only"! Where was the one for "things I'm not supposed to eat?" !!! Now I did feel like I was doing something illegal!!! Suppose someone spotted me throwing away a 'perfectly good ice cream', still wrapped no less!!?? :bored:Finally I found a trash can labeled "waste" and this was indeed a “waste”! So I discreetly chucked it in and got away from that area as fast as I could!!! Too funny:lol:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

My Pants Fit!!!!.....well, Kinda'

- I have 2 pair of pants that I purchased about 7 months ago. In all honesty, they must have been mismarked b/c when I got them home they didnt even come close to fitting!!! no way were these a size 18!!! (my other 18s fit and some were kind of loose) These were only $6.00 and they were dress pants that I could wear to work, so I kept them. - Since I dont own a scale, I decided to use them as my "measuring tool". I couldnt even get them past my hips 2 months ago, much less close them!! ------>> today: I got them up, zipped and snapped them!!!! WOW!!!! - So, i went about my closet pulling out other pants and taking pictures of my progress!!! check them out on my page!!!! :rolleyes2:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

standing to eat.....

When i'm home, of course i can stand up and walk around and take forever to eat...but we go out a lot and this was becoming a problem!! so now (in a restaurant) i have to find an excuse to stand up and walk somewhere during my meal. otherwise, i get stuck! so when i get that feeling, usually after a bite or two, i either have to stop eating altogether or I walk to the restroom, or pretend to get something (buffet line), etc... It's kind of funny b/c i'll tell my husband, "I'm going to get you a napkin, fork, etc..." but he doesn't need any of these things!! LOL! I've also resorted to putting my food in a take-out container and finishing it in the car as we drive home. this way, i can take my time to eat (60+ minutes) but my husband doesn't have to sit there, bored to tears, waiting for me!! I'm glad to have restriction!!! :biggrin:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

the back of the closet....a FREE shopping spree!!!!

whoo-hoo! this morning I went "shopping" in my own closet!!!...that back part where we put the clothes that don't fit anymore!!! I'm am sporting dresses and skirts that I haven't been able to wear in 3 years!!! I was so excited that I kept pulling out more and more clothes!!! sizes 14-16.... Some clothes still had tags on them!!! I even have a new bra! (the "convertable" kind, w/clear straps, criss-cross straps, no straps, etc..!!! I'm sure i purchased it to go with the dresses. It still had all the tags and accessories on it too!!) wow! i hit the jack-pot! a FREE shopping spree!!! I was inspired to do this b/c last night I had on a pair of 18s that were VERY tight in April (I had to 'suck in' to button them) but last night they were so baggy that i just pulled them down and took them off w/o unbuttoning or unzipping! I was amazed!!! :tt2: note to self: "airport dress", "kiss-me dress", "Lisa's party dress", "church sundress", black satin & lace skirt ....oh how I've missed you guys!!! (summer 2007)

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

5 more pounds down...

when i went to the doc'd yesterday (ear infection) i weighed 5 pounds less. i'm glad to loose 5 rather than gain it. i'm glad to see the scale move down at all!! but after being able to fit back into all those smaller clothes this week, i really thought I was down much more. i have been exercizing 5 days a week, 1 hour per day... my restriction is good ( 3 fills, 10.75 cc's total)...my eatting has been very good... i guess i've lost inches and fat but gained muscle....we all know "muscle takes up less room than fat" (it doesnt actually weigh less) i found a good explanation & anology on another site: "Muscle is more dense than fat, thus it takes up less space than an equal amount of fat. A good analogy is comparing a pound of lead(muscle) to a pound of feathers (fat). The pound of lead would be a small brick and the pound of feathers would be equal to a pillow or two. " well, that would certainly explain why my clothes fit better!! but i just want that scale to DROP!!!! :thumbup:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

my BODY IMAGE....

I think I have been suffering from a “body image disorder”…. But only not a bad one, a good one, which in the end turned out to be bad…. You know how an anorexic person looks in the mirror but still sees herself as fat, even though she’s only skin & bones? Well, when I look in the mirror, I still see the beautiful, healthy, slim young lady that use to smile back at me 20 years ago. I guess I never really saw myself as “fat”. Sounds great at first but I guess it is kind of bad b/c it took a picture to shock me back to reality-----> that’s when I saw how fat I was!!! So I guess the reality check is a good thing b/c it’s motivation to lose weight!! :frown: Body image is a term which may refer to a person's perception of his or her own physical appearance, or the interpretation of the body by the brain. Essentially, body image describes how one perceives one's appearance to be in relation to others, which in many cases may be dramatically different from one's objective physical condition or how one is actually perceived by others.

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

What is the MEDICAL/SCIENTIFIC reason for the food progression after each fill?

I am not doubting that I should follow the doctor's orders...Ive just always been the kind of person who wants to know "WHY?" After each fill, I have to do 3 days of clear liquids, followed by a week of stage I, then a week of stage II, then a week of stage III!!! this is the part that I absolutely H#TE the most about my whole L'band experience!! starting over each time w/the liquids etc, takes 3-4weeks out of my life and it takes that long for me to even see if the fill even worked. Then I read some posts that say they stopped for a shake or even food on the way home from their fill!!! (no "fair" for me!! ha! ha! :mad2:) I follow MY Doc's rules b/c I'm committed to this but I think that if I knew WHY the food progression, I would maybe "h#te" it a little less ....so can anyone tell me the MEDICAL and/or SCIENTIFIC reason for the food progression after each fill?? I mean medically speaking not just "b/c my Doc said so"...WHY did he say so??:frown:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

back from vacation....

Bad: I ate Coldstone Creamery Good: I ate the smallest size instead of the largest size! Bad: some of my food choices weren't "diet friendly" Good: I didn't eat nearly as much as I would have eaten before i was banded. Good: I did exercise. there was this beautiful smooth treadmill at the hotel !!! Bad: I only made it to the gym once (but that's better than 'not at all'!! right?) Good: I forced myself to get on the scale (at the gym) and despite all of my "vacation blunders" over the last month, I still managed to loose another 3 pounds!!! (23 total) Bad: had it not been for all of my "vacation blunders" over the last month, I'd probably be down 43 pounds!!! - oh well, at least i'm going down, no matter how slowly, instead of up!

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

KILLER AT LARGE: Why Obesity is America's Biggest Threat

I watched this documentary today on Netflix/On Demand: "KILLER AT LARGE: Why Obesity is America's Biggest Threat"... I was shocked to hear that the kid's meals at places like McDs & BK is actually the serving size that is recommend for an ADULT!!! :thumbup: and the Adult meals/combos are enough to feed a whole family!!! :cool2: OMGosh!! then people "Super Size" that???? WOW!!! no wonder America is Overweight!! (to include myself).... fortunately I dont like McDs at all and I seldom visit BK....

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Gray pants....

I am happy to report (drum roll please) not only can I fit into my gray pants (numbers 4 & 5 in my photo album) but I wore them to work today!!! They are even "a little loose" in the back!!! I will post the new photos soon. I've really missed all of you...this school year has taken off in a whirl-wind!! New school-New grade-Lots to get adjusted to!!! can't slow down for a minute or i will fall FAR behind!!! Please know I am still thinking about you guys and you're in my prayers!!! LOOSE WEIGHT------> GAIN HEALTH! :smile:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Food Diary

at 2 months post-op I dont feel like i've lost anything! I look at other's succcess and think "how the heck did they loose 50-80-90 pounds in 6 months??" :confused: So I started a food diary. Everything I'm eating is "band approved".... and I'm certainly eating much less than I was before BUT I am still WAY over my calorie allotment....like 1500-1600 instead of 900-1200!! my shakes and protein shots are even high in calories!!!:sneaky: what gives? so, I'm going to have to cut WAY back, which means I'm going to be starving everyday, which means I need another fill!! I'm already at 8.25 w/only my 2nd fill and going even higher so early really worries me....

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

4th fill???

i'm considering a 4th fill next week....I've had 3 fills to date, 10.75cc total. I have good restriction, as things do get stuck, BUT i am still able to eat a LOT! as long as i chew it very well, it goes down w/o a problem. I never feel "completely full". I was under the impression that w/the band, I would not be able to eat so much food. Even the nutritionist at my last visit said that i shouldnt be able to finish one of my 2.5oz protein bars at one sitting, and i can! in fact, at times i find myself reaching for one b/c i wasnt quite full after a meal. I wait the 30 minutes - to be sure the signal reaches the brain that i'm full, but the signal doesnt come. What's your opinion? note: I am still happy w/my weight loss to date and i am not complaining. I just want to use this wonderful tool to its optimum ability.... and i know in order for it to "work" it has to be at the proper fill level. I am still doing my part - healthy foods, proper portions, exercizing, nothing to drink 60-90 minutes after eating, etc.....

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

my 2nd fill....

my 1st fill was 3 weeks ago...i got 3.75 cc but felt NO restrictions!!! I WAS STARVING!!! today the doc put in another 5 cc (which he said was a "record" all at once)....that brings me up to 8.75 w/my 2nd fill!!! I'm on liquids right now and everything is going down fine... i hope! hope! hope! that i feel some restrictions when i start my mushies & food! [my surgery was 4/27... i have a 11 capacity Realize band.... I havent weighed in yet....] I can't "weight" to start loosing weight!! :eek:

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

 

Sunday, August 1, 2010....3 months, 5 days post op

-Today is the start of a new week and the start of a new month....Today I will totally commit to "getting back on track" (aka: recovering from my vacation!!) :closedeyes:... -My current goal is to loose 20 pounds, which will put me under the 200 mark!! i was thinking "20 pounds by when....?" but then i decided, to just commit to loosing 20 pounds and not put a time frame--- within reason of course! -The jean shorts that i took on vacation w/me were so baggy that they looked sloppy. so last night when we went to the mall, I pulled out a pair of jeans that i havent been able to snap in over 1 year---the were just fine! -I feel good with the inches i've lost and the muscle toning, but i know i still need to loose those pounds!!! :thumbup: WE CAN ALL DO THIS!!! Happy August Everyone!!!

J_BandRanger

J_BandRanger

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