Well, I thought I should start this journal to not only help myself but also help others. Sometimes we feel like we are alone through a journey, plus I can be a lazy person :phanvan so if someone can assist me in directing me to the correct way to go that will be good, until I can get on the right path myself.
I have not always had a weight problem. I have not always been the “ideal” insurance idea of the perfect weight. I have always been about 20 lbs over the “insurance guide” for a perfect weight. In the past I really did not think too much about diet or exercise. I keep busy with dancing, teaching dance, riding horses, training horses, busy with children, hiking, camping and gardening. Now I can’t do any of it. It is very depressing.
I felt my best when I was 140 lbs at 5’4”, but according to the “insurance guide” I was about 20-25 lbs over weight. So in the back of my head all my life I felt “fat”. :think
I decided to have lap-band surgery after hitting the grand total of 348 lbs :help: . Man I never saw it coming to this degree.
My mother told me when I was a pre-teen that her mother told her a “fat woman is a happy woman”! This was some kind of Spanish proverb. I still do not understand. At the weight I am at I should be jumping for joy instead of wanting to hide.
My childhood was not ideal, like most of the adults in America. I am the youngest of 4 and the only girl. But here what is interesting. I do not remember a lot of my childhood or my second oldest brother when I was growing up…makes you wonder why.
I was abused by my third brother, and I still remember many of the incidents. I had not been the best to select boyfriends, some friends and I married and divorce two horrid men. One died at 33 because of substance abuse, the other went to jail for what he did to my children.
I began to put on weight fast, and did not care. My second husband moved me to the middle of the U.S. I was a native Californian until 15 years ago. And that is when I stopped doing all the things I loved.
That chapter is closed to all of those awful things that did in fact hurt me in more then one way .
I now have a wonderful husband :clap2: who does really love me for me. I have two great adult children and 5 count them 5 wonderful, fabulous, cute just like thier Mema grandsons.
I want to get healthy, I want to take the grandsons camping, teach them to ride horses, work in the garden and best of all run and play with them with out feeling I may have to be rushed to the hospital.
And not to forget my husband I want to look nice for him but more then that, I was robbed of 25 years to be with a good man, now that I have him I want to live for at least 50 more with him, healthy and fit. :clap2:
So the journey begins. Start weight is 348. Goal will be many ranges, first is to get to 248, then to 148. My first 75 lbs lost I plan on treating myself to getting my nails done, next 75 lbs get a new hair style. Then by the last goal of 50 lbs boy the credit card better be paid I going to Victoria Secrets and other stores to buy things I have not been able to fit into for a long time.
I have joined a gym to start water exercise, and then I hope to move to other things. But one step at a time.
Here we go!
The start of the decision to have the surgery started over 2 years ago. I knew I was out of control. I tried every diet there is. I read books and more books, I prayed and Prayed hours for the right thing to do.
The surgery choice was easy. I did not want to be cut open, have my stomach cut and have to miss so much work.
So I went to a seminar, learned about Weight Loss Surgical Center in Overland Park, KS www.WTLSC.com. I did go to about 4 other seminars from different doctors and clinics this one was covered by United Health, and I was gotten in fairly fast.
A couple of things, I foolishly did not do a liquid diet 2 weeks before the surgery, so the doctor who first “attempt” to do the surgery could not, because he said my liver was too large and he could not get around it.
So four weeks later, and 2 weeks of liquid diet I had the surgery by the same clinic but different doctors, I was a special case I had to have two doctors, to get the band in, but after the surgery I was told it was not uncommon, for large livers as I have for obesity patients. Makes you think about the heart doesn’t it?
It took me longer to recuperate from the successful surgery, I believe because I was having a horrid time of Fibermyalgia at the time. I was told when I start exercising and lose weight, I will be better.
The first time I met with the first doctor my weight was 348. I went into surgery I was at 340. The next try I was at 332, after surgery in the first 6 weeks I lost 14 lbs, but I have been up and down the roller coaster. I have had my first fill. But I have gained instead of 318 I am now 321!:help:
Ok, so now I am looking at the woman in the mirror, what on earth is wrong with you! This is my fault. I have not followed the recommend diet. Ok I thought they where just “suggestions” (I do know better I am being silly)
The fist two weeks should be broth, skim milk, fruit juice anything you should see through but I was hungry by the end of the 2nd week so I ate mashed potatoes, chicken, salads…and nothing happened. I mean I was not in pain like I was told. And I kept losing I thought this is great!
I have never done the pureed foods as was told me, I have felt some discomfort where the port is but when they did the fill everything was ok.
The first day after the fill I did do the liquid diet, the second I was on good behavior too, then I was able to resume eating a regular diet. The bad thing is I am still hungry. So I am snaking.
Where I am having problems is not to drink with my meals. So here again will end a chapter. I will start to just three small meals a day. And follow the recommend diet to the period, and see how I do this time next week.
See you then!
