I got to see my doctor today for my 2 month diet plan. One more month to go and psych evaluation next week. Yay! I am down 6 pounds and I feel pretty good about myself. I have discovered sparkpeople.com and it really keeps me motivated. If any of you haven't tried it yet, I would encourage you to do so. I have an app for it on my phone and it helps me manage my calories and keep me in line.
Just another month then the big decision times come. I am nervous but oh so excited! My daughter's babysitter LapBand done in March and looks absolutely fantastic. I can't wait!
Yes! One step closer! I had my nutrition consult two days ago and I feel like I have another notch in my belt. It cost me $63 out of pocket to do for about a 45 minute consultation.
I don't know what I was expecting, but there were times in the consult it sounded like the nutritionist was trying to sway me away from it. It was really weird. Maybe she wasn't, but that was kind of the aura that the conversation seemed to have. She talked alot about things I would need to do and change, which I knew, but she also had that "are you sure you want to do this" look when she asked some of the questions. I just kept thinking to myself, "This skinny, young chick can't have a clue what I am really going through."
Maybe it's just insecurity of years of being overweight, but I really feel sometimes as though people who don't have a problem with weight look at those of us that do pathetically. You know...the "why can't you just work out" or "why can't you just eat right" or "why are you hungry"? I have no problem with working with out. I know the right foods to eat. My problem is that I eat to much of it. And, sometimes I feel so hungry I feel sick to my stomach. I can't wait to get that feeling to subside! I want restriction so badly!
Anyway, the nutrition consult is out of the way and I have my psych evaluation scheduled for August 9th. My 3 month diet should be completed on September 1st...yay! After all that is done, I should be ready to go.
I gained 2 pounds in June (thank you, Bahamas and frozen drinks!), but I have lost 3 since my last weigh in. With the help of sparkpeople.com, I am really trying to keep on track with working out and eating right. I have really come to LOVE that website. If you are just browsing this blog, be sure to check out that website. It was the best info I got from the nutritionist I saw
I am officially 6 weeks through my supervised diet with my pcp and have 6 more weeks to go! Yay! Although, I am a bit concerned as I actually gained 2 pounds the first 4 weeks. My cruise to the Bahamas was a tempting way to sabotoge my diet, apparently. My weight at last weigh in was 324. The highest I have EVER been...well, not counting my last pregnancy. Very sad, though, because I am not too far from my pregnancy weight **sniffle, sniffle**. It's amazing how different I look in my head to how different I look in pictures. Eeeeeek!
Since returning from my cruise, I have tried very hard to be mindful of the portions that I eat as well as making good food choices. I have a couple slip ups, as far as pizza with the kids, but I am otherwise doing better and eating at home a lot. I'm not quite sure what the insurance company expects out of this diet plan. I freak myself out because I am afraid they will not let me have the surgery if I don't lose any weight. The only time in my life I seem to have been successful in taking weight of, that wasn't in the 6 weeks after a baby, was while I was breastfeeding for 10 months. Otherwise, I sadly fail.
In my house, I actually have a thin husband, 3 thin sons, and a baby. What I wouldn't give for their metabolisms! A lot of times, I am fixing something for me and dinner for them.
My nutritionist appointment is set for tomorrow. My insurance company would only cover it if I had diabetes, which I don't, but I feel pretty good because the consult is only going to cost $63. The nutritionist my surgeon's office recommended was $160. So, I feel like I have a bit of a savings and I am excited to complete another step in my journey.
I will be setting my psych evaluation sometime today, too. My husband jokingly told me," A nutrition and psych evaluation...I know which one you will fail." I laughed, "Yeah, the nutrition one... "hahaha.
My husband has really been a huge wealth of support. He constantly tells me I am beautiful and he loves me just the way I am, despite being twice his size. He has encouraged me to do this for myself and not for anyone else. When I feel nervous, he calms me down. I simply can't imagine a better best friend and partner in life. I read on here, sometimes, about husband's who aren't nearly as supportive or women doing it because of the way their husbands view them. It's sad and makes me want to clutch my husband that much more. He will never fully understand my struggle with food and weight, but, damn, he sure comes as close as he possibly can for a skinny man.
Okay, BMI today is 50. Blech. Can't wait to see that number go down. I don't know how I got here...well, I do, but don't know how I allowed myself to get here. But, I know how to fix it:tongue2:
I FINALLY had my first consultation with Dr. Malley yesterday. The whole meeting and consultation just made me feel all the better that I was making the right decision by choosing Lap Band and choosing this facility to do the surgery.
I was anticipating the psych evaluation as well as meeting with the nutritionist. However, my insurance company is requesting 3 months of a supervised diet plan. This is a little disheartening as it just seems as though another hoop to jump through. I just know if I stick with everything, it will be worth it in the end. How is it that 3 months seems so far when it's something you really want, but not so far when, say, your children are growing? LOL. Do any of you have any motivation tips or what exactly the insurance company is looking for when they ask you to do the diet plan? It seems kind of silly because the whole reason I want lap band is because I do have a hard time controlling my calories. It's not so much the wrong foods for me as it is the dang portion control! Any comments about your story would be much appreciated as 3 months (I know, I know, most "diet plans" are longer than that!) seems so daunting when you want the instant gratification of NOW!
As I plug along in my journey, I am determined to succeed and will just do these hurdles as soon as possible. The doctor should be able to see me for my first "diet plan" appointment on June 1st. The two weeks even seems far
:rolleyes2:
Wow! What a new world that I am about to embark on! I have joined (and started) this blog so that I can keep record of my thoughts, feelings, weight, etc, during this journey to a healthy me. I want to be able to look back and say, "Look how far I have COME!"
I am a mother of 4 children (2 of the them are natural; 2 are 'bonus children' from my husband). I love them all and love spending time with them. My husband has two boys, 12 and 13. I have a son who is 11. And, our daughter together is 10 months old. I am 30 years old and have my hands full, for sure!
All of my life, I have been overweight. I have often joked that I was the sister who was slapped with "the fat stick". Both of my parents are of normal weight, as is my sister. However, if you look closely at the women on my father's side of the family, all of us are of size. Weight is something that I have always seemed to struggle with. When I was 9, I remember at the health fair at school, hiding my card because my weight showed 104 pounds. I remember when I was 12, going to a chiropracter for the first time with my Mom. There were no health issues--I just wanted to go because she was going. They weighed me and I was 184 pounds! I can't believe how that number has stuck with me all of these years! Over the years, my weight has crept up.
For the longest time, I refused to step on scales. When I was 18 (1998), I got pregnant with my son. I was probably around 215 at that time. I have no idea how high I was for sure on the scale. I gained 70 pounds with him, but lost most of the weight after I had him. The next time I stepped on a scale, it was 2005. It said 270 and I almost fainted! I couldn't believe how high my weight had gotten. It seemed like overnight, but it really wasn't. After, that, I tried various diets (and failed) and swore off scales again.
Around that time, I met my incredibly supportive husband. He has always loved me the way I am and never misses an opportunity to tell me how beautiful I am. He is amazing. Needless to say, being in love and happy prompted me to put on even more weight. My weight crept up to 309 when I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. Can you believe one of my first thoughts was,"Wow! I can't gain anymore weight while I am pregnant with this one."? Well, I topped out around 332. That was my heighest point and my most miserable point. My ankles were swollen and it was horrifying carrying around that extra weight on my already loaded down frame. After I had my daughter, I lost 40 pounds. But, like clockwork, it came back up.
Today, I am sitting at 320 and have beat myself up time and time again. I look at pictures and want to cry sometimes. There are very few pictures of me with my family and most of those are waist up. I guess there have been times that I have been an emotional eater, but I don't really see that as my main problem. My issue is being full. I always seem to be hungry and love the full sensation. Embarassing, yes.
I made the decision to explore weight loss surgery and am very proud of my decision. I know I need to do something for my health and my family. I want to be around for my children and grandchildren. I want their memories to be doing things with them and not being tired from lugging around extra weight. I want to be able to sleep well at night (I haven't woken up well rested in at least 5 years). I am so motivated and this point and can't wait to sail straight forward.
I attended my first seminar last night with another scheduled for this Saturday. Gastric bypass is just too invasive for my liking. I toyed around with the sleeve for a bit. A friend of mine went from 270 to 135 in a mere year using that tool. Of course, my insurance won't pay for that. I did, however, find out that my insurance will cover LAP-BAND® at 100%. I am quite certain I will be headed in that direction. I do know i will have to work at it hard, but I am sooooo ready.
After my seminar this weekend, I will be equipped to make a surgeon decision and plan on making it quickly. I can't wait to get this ball rolling!
I am going on a cruise to the Bahamas with my family this June and plan on it being the last trip I take that I have to worry about fitting in an airplane seat...haha!! I would really love to get the surgery done after that. I would actually do it beforehand, if given the choice, but being out of the country so soon afterwards probably isn't the smartest decision!
If any of you "bandsters" have any comments, suggestions, or supportive thoughts, please let me know! I have a supportive family but is would be so helpful to have others in my same boat to share this experience with. I am ready to do this...and ready to do this RIGHT!
