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About this blog

This blog will contain how I feel about myself before and after surgery. I haven't gotten my surgery yet and it's April 2010 as I write this now. I will just be discussing my thoughts and feelings. :laugh:

Entries in this blog

 

TMI: Sex

I felt more confident and more comfortable. It was the best!!!!! lmao..i'm not going to get into details, but uh lets just say dinner and breakfast was served!

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Exciting

My best friend and I decided to shop at Khol's, the old me would sit around watching my friends shop and I just help them pick out clothes. But this time my friend was making try on different things, and at first I wouldn't because I was afraid that it wouldn't fit. But the XL fits great. I never owned a Mudd shirt and I love their clothes its just that I was never able to wear them. I did buy this Mudd sweater and I'm happy. I can finally shop for shirts and I don't have to go to a special store to get them. Now my pants however is still a plus size at this time. But I am sliming in my legs now that i see pictures that I've taken of me. I didn't notice it before though, but everybody notices. Men at my job been hitting on me lately, but I rather not talk to men I work with. Anyway, everythings been good. :smile2:

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

I have to get surgery...again

Okay so I went for my first fill on Aug 25th but i couldn't get it because some how my port was flipped on it's side and the doctor tried to flip it back and it didn't budge, so therefore my surgery is Monday, he just he's not removing the band he's just flipping my port up the way it needs to be. Now I wonder what was the cause of it flipping? I think maybe the first week of my surgery, I was doing zumba, maybe that could be???? I don't know, but this time buddy i'm just going to walk, not doing zumba until November, because I don't want to mess anything up, im not scared only because now i know what to expect from the surgery...least i get a week off of work...anyway I lost 24 lbs so far, I would have lost more if it wasn't for my damn port

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

My Addiction

Zumba is now my addiction, I love ittt our job now offer Zumba for an hour with a Zumba instructor on Tuesdays and it's free for us, But I also take a Zumba class on Saturdays that I pay for. So in between tuesday and saturday I do get a little 30 minutes walk in or if I'm watching tv I take my dumbells and work out my arms, because I don't want to have flabby arms. Anyway doing Zumba twice in one week, thats 2000 calories burnt already, because an hour of Zumba class is 1000 calories burnt. Whew...I'm trying to stay focused. I just love Zumba, zumba zumba zumba :cool:

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

This morning,

I had a great morning walk this morning, I walked for 30 minutes and according to my pedometer I burned 304 calories. Now I'm prepared to go to work, I feel energized, I don't feel tired like I usually do when its time for work, i'll take these morning walks often. :closedeyes:

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Well, I don't feel so bad.

Okay so as you guys know I was having a food meltdown, since I've been on my liquid diet, I have 5 more days of this. But i got on the scale just now, I started at 309, now I am 295....a total of 14lbs lost. Wow, I am going to go walking bright and early tomorrow morning that just gave me more motivation. I did do my Zumba on Saturday and it did make me feel more energized. Focus, Focus, Focus

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Hungryyyyyyyyy Post Op day 3

When will day 10 get here so I can break open this can of Tuna. I was fine for the first few days, now a sista is hungry. I am in my room listening to music, reading books, pacing back in forth, going to sleep waking up, doing whatever i can to get my mind off of this. I wasn't hungry for the first couple of days, now I am hungry. I think I will get me a bottled water and shake some crystal light in there. I am trying my bestest, because I want to make sure I am doing everything correctly. It's a mental thing, I just need to focus focus focus.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

had my band done yesterday

I am not in pain, but I feel uncomfortable like someone punch me in my stomach. I did take my pain pill just in case so I wouldn't be in pain the next morning. Im up now because I was drowsy earlier and went to sleep early so i'm up now. My incision by my navel was bleeding last night on my pillow and I had to wash my decor pillow really good, so I have extra bandages and I place it ontop so it wouldn't leak through my shirt again. My doctor told me to wait till late tomorrow evening to remove bandages and put peroxide on them. I been drinking EAS advantage chocolate protein shake it is delicious and I don't have a problem with it, I also have the Vanilla flavor haven't taste that yet though. I had sugar free jello and pudding, and Campbells chicken noodle soup without the chicken and noodles, i just drained it with the strainer and threw it away. My doc told me to make sure I walk, so I did walk for 15 min yesterday. Well thats my update.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

July 12,2010 is my date guys!!!

I completed my 3 hour class about the surgery. It was very informative and the   instructor was amazing. Our instructor had the Gastro surgery so she knew first   hand about this journey we all are taking. I am glad I made the decision to do the lap   band. A lot of what she said made sense. She gave us names of different protein shakes   that didn't taste too awful, so I will be getting that shortly. I had my one on one with   Dr. Clark and he answered all of my questions. Now in the class it says no BREAD , no   PASTA and NO RICE. I love those three things, but I will not eat it because you may eat just   a tiny piece of those things or have a tiny bit that you think is a small amount but once it's   in your stomach it becomes bigger, so if you think a spoonful of rice is nothing, it could   actually become bigger once it's digested. Also I learned that you can chew gum but don't   swallow it, if you swallow it, it may become stock and block food from digesting properly   in your stomach. Also I like the analogy the instructor used, she said if you eat too much   you could vomit it all up, sort of like if you continue to fill a sink up it will soon overflow.   If you guys are in Hampton Roads, I recommend the Weight Loss Surgery on Jefferson Blvd,   newportnews, Va to you, because they are very informative and supportive. No question is   a dumb question. I'm excited because I have a supportive team near me! Also I learned if you   have any negative people near you, you must dismiss them, you need all the support you   can get!

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

A journal for me

You can follow my journey via http://cupcakes2carrots.blogspot.com I will be vlogging and blogging during my entire journey. I appreciate the love you guys show on my blog on here too!

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

The guys that are so afraid of my surgery...

Okay this guy I used to mess with (4yrs known) , he's all like he think I should wait and try to lose weight on my own first before I make rational decisions. First of all 2 yrs ago he claimed if he hadn't just gotten out of a relationship he would be with me. He played this lil games of saying I love you's;then when I caught feelings he had the NERVE to say..I don't like you like THAT I thought we were friends. now in 2010 he has this girlfriend he been with for 2 yrs that he previously lied about. He hits me up on IM all the time telling me i'm beautiful and blah blah.all I have to say is.I'm getting fit and fab, and will he have a chance? NO. He want to be FRIENDS, sure I can be FRIENDS because my feelings for him has been caught in the wind somewhere. I bet he is going to SO wish he never let a good woman like me go.       ALSO my friend that I talk to occasionally said what I was doing was dumb. Dumb for ME or YOU is what I wanted to ask, i just told him its my damn body and he has no say so over it and i hung up. He can go kick rocks with no damn shoes on because he has YET to take me on a date, we been talking since Feb now are you serious, please get out my face, he keep texting me now that I been stop paying him attention since two months ago, now he think he can make negative comments about my surgery...HA not     And I SO can't wait to turn some heads. I want to be fierceeee by my birthday Jan 3rd!!!

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

My support system...

Okay so I'm officially excited that ALL of my friends are supporting me. I feel soo much better that I don't have to hide this from them.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

July 12,2010 is my date guys!!!

I thought they weren't going to approve me but they did!! I'm excited, I have my 3 hour class about the surgery June 29th at 8:30am. I'm excited and scared. I believe im making the right decision.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Zumbaaaaaa I love it

I started my Zumba classes last saturday. When I first did it my calves were killing me for two days. It was fun and I didn't quit, I kept going. I did it today and I got a little used to it, my calves feel like bats lol. My favorite song in Zumba class is Pusha Pusha by Axe..I Love that dance and I need to know by Marc Anthony has always been my favorites. Anyway, I am preparing myself towards a better me. I don't know when the surgery will be, but when I find out I will let you guys know.:smile::tongue::thumbup::tongue::smile2::tongue::w00t:

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Do I have support? Very limited.

Okay first of all, I have only told a limited amount of people that I was getting the LAP-BAND®: Mom, Three close friends, Two close co-workers and now my Supervisor knows only because I have to turn in my FMLA for whenever I get my surgery, but my supervisor supports me because she was thinking of getting it too.   Now my best friend that I live with was saying that when people get these surgeries they look sick and it's lazy, and this was said during the time were all out to eat with her cousin, and her cousin is agreeing with her and everything, so I didn't say anything at all. Matter of fact I changed my mailing address so my Weight Loss Surgery mail can be sent to my Post Office box because I don't want her trying to change my decision or giving me any negative feedback. I decided I wasn't telling anyone else, I am going to get it, and if she see that i'm losing weight...whatever. Because I lost 10 lbs by cutting out fried and sweet products and exercising about 3 to 4 times a week..and I have been doing this for 4 weeks now going on. So I think I am taking this LAP-BAND® seriously, because I realize it's a tool and I realize I have to change my lifestyle. :thumbup:  

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

Jesus, I don't want to go through this again...

So I need my mom and fam more than anything in my life at this time, due to my grandma passing (she died in Dec), here in virginia is where I live and my grandma raised me, we were always together, every weekend, every other day, we were so close..my mom live in PA because she is a Navy Recruiter...I am so used not being able to be with her because she in the military and its a habit you get used to..but I miss her all the time and my little sister.Anyway I thought it would be a good idea to see her after my surgery, and i can recover there with her you know...but she told me she didn't want me to drive she want me to catch the plane :thumbup: I get nervous and I feel like I can't breath everytime I have to do this, because I have to crowd the DAMN SEAT and people want to breath and look at me like i have a disease, it's so heart breaking , it is. And I know some people can relate...I just wish...I don't know. Anywho, I will be with my mom for about 2 to 3 weeks because I believe I can get that much time off from work.Im trying to be strong guys, I just...it bothers me.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

I wonder...

How it feels just to go into a forever 21 or New York Express....I hate going in with my friends and just buying accessories, because I can't fit shit else. I just want to be able to have fun and not feel miserable of why I can't do this or that. I love myself, but it's like damn I can't do shit.

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

 

My inner thoughts, I don't share.

Okay so my mother lives in another state and she always suggest the plane for me to come. I told her I was planning to come to her, after my surgery so that she can help me with my process. I made up an excuse of why I don't want to ride the airplane. I said because I was scared, which has been my lie for years. The real reason is because I can't fit comfortably in the seat, and the person next to me always gets up quickly when there is a seat available..that hurts so bad, I've cried on a flight before because I had to ask for an extended belt. And I lied about not liking roller coasters....I love them...but a few years ago when I went to Bush Gardens after standing in that long ass line in the hot freaking sun....i couldn't fit in the seat. Everyone watched me get up and walk away. I cried then too. I was so embarrassed. I'm ready to enjoy my life. If you can relate, or have related please add a comment. Thanks. :thumbup:

HoneyBrown

HoneyBrown

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