Today I fly to San Francisco; back tomorrow afternoon. I have a meeting in the morning in Union Square. My hotel is there, and for the first time I'm taking BART (train) from the airport to my hotel. I'm also planning on taking the trolley from the hotel down to the pier which has great food, beautiful views and some walking opportunities. The sun will start to set around 9, and I don't want to be out there myself so I'll head back at sunset. I'm excited to be confident enough to plan this (execution? I'm pretty sure).
I'm home this morning packing, working and getting in some cardio.
I had an appointment with my new trainer at 5am and I slept through it. I NEVER do that. I called at 5:20 and he answered and I tried to get in at 6 but he couldn't so that is wasted time/money and motivation. I meet with him again on Sunday morning. Instead of being mad I stayed up and started doing stuff around the house. I have plenty of time to work out before I go to the airport.
Two concerns are fitting easier in the seats and no belt extender. I really only used a belt extender on commuter flights, and this is one of those so I'll be excited to see how that goes.
Get home tomorrow at 4:30 and support group starts at 6. That may not sound bad, but its rush hour and traffic that way will mean 90 minutes to go the 20 miles will be a stretch.
Funny. I'm not stressing on the trip at all! Thank you all for your fantastic support, and listening to me throughout the last 11 weeks (wow! today!). I sincerely appreciate your recommendations, support and courage throughout the way!
Yesterday I made lunch for myself and a couple co-workers. I might not have ate enough as I'm watching the fill and taking it easy. Ate around 11:30 and didn't eat again before going to the gym at 5.
Got on the elliptical and started kicking it up. I am off my bp medications and I can get my heart rate into target with a little effort, so I was working pretty hard. About 30 minutes into a 45 minute workout I got really hot, sweaty and a little dizzy. My stomach was GROWLING. Loud. I stopped, took several sips of water, and kept going.
I got off at 45 and I was downright dizzy. I sat in a chair along the wall for about 20 minutes before I was able to get up and walk to the car. Then I waited about an hour to meet a friend for dinner. Headache, dizzy, not good.
I need to pack more snacks and protein, and try to eat more at a single setting. I'm pretty sure I had a cup of food at lunch, but working out on an empty stomch didn't go well. Iget all my protein in for the day, so I am missing something somewhere.
I was still a little lightheaded this morning, and skipped the gym. Brought some fruit, tuna snacks and deli turkey to work. If I'm going to work out I am going to have to eat more than 1000 calories a day for sure.
If anybody has any suggestions, please let me know. I did not like this feeling.
And the kicker? After the fill Monday and fun Tuesday? I have what feels to be less restriction now (at 5.5ccs) than before the fill (at 4.0 ccs). And next fill can't be until 8/6. Ish.
So I hurt myself Sunday morning. Really pulled something, even made a popping noise, and still have significant pain. I spent all day yesterday "laying low" and planning on not going to work today or working out.
Sleeping hurt on either side, I did not imagine the pain which I still feel, by the way. But now, I feel more embarassed than anything.
I called the doctor first thing this morning AFTER driving to the gym and doing 60 mins on the elliptical. It doesn't hurt when I'm on the machines, only standing up, getting up from sitting and laying on my side(s)? (Who knows).
She calls me back. It has nothing to do with my band or my port at all. Probably pulled a muscle that was torn up during surgery. I felt pretty embarassed with that one.
My band is in the center of my abdomen between the rib cage, about 4 inches above my belly button. My port is to the right (my right), just above the belly button on the right. The pain is on the left below my rib cage. She told me to go ahead and start core workouts by the end of the week which should strengthen some muscles and hopefully help me not do this again!
I've never been so concerned with not getting hurt, or damaging a band which is far more protected by layers of fat than my wrist, or teeth, or knee!
I wish I could just take back the last couple days and not have gotten so dramatic with it. I apologize to all of you as well!
I read a lot of postings and blogs this morning (took short time to get ready?), and I'm thinking a lot about support -- who gives it, who doesn't, who I think should and who suprises me.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. This website is an amazing find and an incredible source of support for me every day. I can always find information and someone that has/is/was going through what I am/did/anticipate and its been a Godsend.
My mom and my daughter are not supportive at all. My mom is just an anorexic old lady who said yesterday "I'm prejudiced against obese people. I can't wait until you are skinny". Jesus. I let most of her negativity roll off me and its actually taught me a lot about how I act and what I say. My daughter is just spoiled and self-centered so I let that go.
My friends are mixed between semi-supportive and non-committal. I'm fine with that and I don't really need a lot of support from the group that isn't.
I am my biggest supporter. When I get down I either self-talk myself into the positive, allow myself to be down for awhile, or find something on the site to bring me up. I pray a lot; I have a strong faith. Or take a walk or even work out. I can count on me to help; I'm never sure I can count on anybody else.
This is my battle to save my life. My blood pressure, heart, lungs, joints, bones. All suffered under morbid obesity. I am arming myself with the tools to fight the battle. The band is a big one, exercise is another. One of those is my mind, my attitude, my ability to let the negativity slide off me and not bring me down.
It won't always be good, easy, upbeat. But at the end of the day, its me and God.
Hugs and peace to everybody............
I had my second fill on 7/19. For the next week I stayed on liquids and when I strayed at all I had major issues with PBing/stuck/etc.
Starting about Friday of last week no longer felt any restriction. Hungry about every 2-3 hours and although I never ate more than 1 C of food every 3 hours I was still hungry when I was done. I do have to chew more and eat more slowly. Drink good water (70+ oz a day). Probably eat 4 meals a day? (1 is a little grazing kind of thing?) Didn't work out as much last week or the week before as I was weak and unmotivated.
My next fill appointment is Friday afternoon (8/6). I think I'm getting closer, but I don't know if I should fill or flee for now. I'd like the band to work a little more at restricting amount and number of times, but I'm worried it will be too much.
Here's my fills: Had 4cc in 10 cc band at surgery (5/26). First fill to 5.5cc on 6/28. Second fill to 7.25cc on 7/19.
Two fears: overfilling and what happens if I get to 10cc and I'm still not getting the restriction?
Its a quandry, I tell you :-) Your input is welcome and appreciated........
:cool:
I usually get up at 3 am during the week to drive 50 miles to a gym close to work. Being Saturday I can work out at a home gym!
I got out of bed at 6:30am! I know to some of you that will be a laugh, but it felt so good to be able to roll over and snuggle in for awhile -- kind of like a special treat.
I set up some training appointments this week both here and at the work gym so that I can have some motivation if and when my buddy flakes again. As one of my fellow bandster friends said "I can do it myself". And I can!
The amount of support I get from reading posts and blogs and forums is fantastic. I sincerely appreciate all the help, information and just downright kindness.
Have a wonderful Saturday everyone.
:smile2:
Saturday mornings are weigh in at Weight Watchers. I follow the plan religiously and work out hard 6 days a week. I expect losses in the 2-3 lbs range each week.
Nope. .4 lbs. 4/10th of a pound? I shudder to think what would have happened if I didn't sweat my ass off one day or ate two pretzels!!!
I'm going to have my first fill Monday. I'm calling Monday morning to see if I can get in with the nutritionist and print out my logs from daily.plate and have her take a look. Maybe not enough food = really really slow metabolism/starvation mode??? Maybe too much protein? Who knows but I'll look to people who have been there or are the doctor's staff for support at this point.
My first instinct after leaving WW was to go home and eat something like fries and skip the gym -- water aerobics and some cardio. I'm gonna try instead to stay really busy this weekend, eat well and be smart about it.
:smile:
Yep, it finally arrived. I got up at 4:30, got ready, packed up all the work I didn't do in the car, and drove 47 miles to work. I had a Slim Fast in the car because I just didn't feel like eating eggs. I actually enjoyed the drive -- kind of relaxing. I still have swelling and some site pain (one of the little lower ones I think it touches desks, seat belts etc). Its workable............
The biggest thing was putting on my favorite pair of grey pinstriped pants. They needed a SAFETY PIN!!! Yeah! That is probably the biggest difference I've personally seen.
I was reminded again how lucky I am to have gotten this procedure and how much I plan to be positive and take advantage of this wonderful tool. I know there will be lots of bumps in the road, but I feel relatively good, I have support, and I can look forward to a healthier life :-).
Well yesterday was a great day! I ate well (maybe not enough but still followed the plan) and went to the gym close to work with a friend and her daughter after work.
I warmed up, did upper body lifting for about 30 minutes and then 45 on the elliptical. Then I proceed to get in my car and drive home 47 miles. Traffic is much lighter at 6:45pm than 4:30, and I saved myself the time I spent on the elliptical in driving so I felt positive.
Got home a little later than usual, but I now realize that is a good thing. No couch potato time available. Had to shower, get ready for today, pack food, minor cleaning .....
I'm singing more. Walking more. Smiling more. Not because I've woke up and suddently look like Cindy Crawford (my idol), but I just feel better! More energy, less heavy breathing after stairs, just general feeling of well being.
Its all good!
Third day of getting up early, driving to work and getting home late. I'm getting pretty tired. Had to use puffy eye cream this morning.
Big meeting with customers this morning but after that I can be in my office semi-relaxing at desk work for the rest of the day. Then its workout time with my gym buddy! That I'm actually looking forward to.
I am alternating between working out at home in the morning and at the gym after work. After a week of it I'll figure out whether it works for me.
Im trying to get those calories to between 1000 and 1200 slowly. I've been on 600-800 for almost three weeks and I'm kind of used to it. I get in my protein and water so I'm not doing badly I just know the weight loss won't continue at a starvation mode. Even though I bring a whole bunch of soft foods to work I can't seem to get them in. Its much tougher at work than it was at home. This will be a good thing when I really get hungry!
Oh my gosh! Today is 3 weeks! 3 weeks ago today I had my surgery! Happy Birthday, Band! And like having a baby, the initial days of discomfort are fading fast.......
I'm not getting enough sleep and its starting to affect my emotions, reactions and even my motivation.
I get home at 7:30 at night and still have to eat and do miscellaneous stuff before I go to bed. But I get up at 4 - 4:30 so I can do the elliptical, cool off (important piece) and get ready for work to leave by 6:30. I laid back down this morning and skipped the elliptical. I was just too tired. Instead of eating breakfast I grabbed a slim fast and drank it in the car.
Gonna try to spend some time this weekend figuring out how to make it a little better, somehow.
At least its Thursday! The weekend is almost here :-). Have a great day everybody.
The first emotional eating session held at the surgeon's office by the psychologist on staff starts tonight at 6:00. There are days when I think they are going to be a waste of my time, and more days where I realize most of my eating is emotional and I need to learn how to control it better.
Although I'm at or close to the sweet spot, I still find myself reacting to stress/traffic/boredom by thinking I'm hungry. Even if I eat something it isn't much and its healthy, but I can't eat a lot which is good. I'm still basically running for the refrigerator when I get home from work (after a 90 minute minimum commute).
Yesterday I tried to drink my favorite vitamin water zero on the way home. I wasn't even hungry when I got in the door but I was hot and stressed and went straight for the turkey meat! After about 3 bites I was full for the time being and I could move on to do something else. I'm hoping to learn better coping mechanisms for the ride home and arrival home.
So I'm looking forward to these sessions. They are enrollment only and limited to 12 people so we'll get some great support over the next six (or eight?) sessions.
It will never beat the support we all give each other on this site! Take care everybody and have a wonderful day!!!
---- Sandy ----
Yesterday my workout buddy, who is following a diet MOST of the time told me she lost 9 lbs in two weeks. (She weighs about 40 lbs less than me and isn't banded). OK, I'm eating 1/2 what she is, working my butt off (I guess not!), and today I put on jeans that are no looser than they were the week before my surgery.
Unhappy describes it. I won't get on the scale anymore because its not moving like I want it to.
I can't even eat this week (ref previous blogs) and I'm still not moving in the right direction. I don't eat outside the program, and probably intake between 800 - 1000 calories most days and up to 1200 max. I work out SEVEN days a week. I am 5 1/2 weeks post surgery and I actually lost more weight the two weeks before surgery than I have since.
I'm missing a piece of this puzzle somewhere. I'm kind of tired of self-talking myself into doing the right things when I'm seeing no results!
FRUSTRATION REIGNS.
Reaching in a cupboard yesterday morning to pull something out for the picnic and I pulled something. Felt something "pop". Just under my lowest rib on my left side.
The initial pain was pretty bad, but it seemed to go away in about a minute. Kept on getting ready to go. Bent over to get some flip flops to wear and the pain came right back!
Took a couple Tylenol capsules. Went to the parade and concert. Ate fine (no problems other than finding decent food to eat around hot dogs and bratwurst lol). No other issues.
Got home, still sore like I pulled a muscle. Put some ben gay on it and went to bed where I could not get comfortable. Finally put a heating pad on and fell asleep.
No better this morning. I want to go work out and go to water aerobics but I'm gonna lay low for another hour and see if it improves at all. I'll be calling the doctor after 8 -- even though they aren't there I'll get someone to call me back.
Pulled muscle? Haven't done any weights on lower body and those muscles were tore up anyways during the surgery? Wonder if I didn't do something with the band or the port? I didn't really strain that hard, and I'm 6 weeks post op??
Any suggestions or insight are greatly appreciated. Hope everyone had a nice fourth!!!
Sandy
:frown:
Yesterday we did 45 minutes on the elliptical in the morning. All good. Last night I stayed at a local hotel to go to a Zumba class with my workout buddy, do some swimming afterwards, and enjoy our night without having to drive 90 minutes each way to get there.
I'm in the hotel, unpacking my suitcase and I realize my tennis shoes are in my trunk. I go downstairs with my workout clothes on and no shoes and we have a little earthquake, rendering the elevators inoperable. I walk up four flights of stairs (should be no problem after 4 weeks of ellipcial right?). NO. Winded and tired big time. OK, learned I might not be working as hard as I could be on the elliptical, or maybe need to do some stairmaster here and there?
We go to the Zumba class last night. Somewhere over the last 20 years I lost any ability to follow an instructor's moves, and any hope of coordination I had. I stood in the back and moved my feet and arms a lot and hoped no one on the street was watching. I worked up a big sweat and we left 5 minutes before the class was over as my friend was really warm.
But I'm going again next week, or even some time at my home gym this weekend. I'll never learn it if I don't keep trying!
I feel great this morning. Slept in instead of working out, and will go to water aerobics at the home gym at 6pm tonight instead.
I'd love to be able to follow the instructor, but I'm happy just with hanging around and getting exercise to music, so its all good.
Happy Thursday everybody!
I went back to work 2 weeks after my surgery. It was a great week that week -- everyone oohed and aahed over my baggy clothes and my skinny face, and my workout routine was formed with a friend from work who was my primary source of motivation and my "workout buddy".
We would work out together every day during the week. I drove up from my house, leaving at 4 am to get up to the gym by work by 5, work out and get ready and get to work by 7:30 or 8. She even brought me breakfast sandwiches (she would go home to get ready for work).
Then came a three day weekend. I did a lot of working out at my gym near my home, but she didn't, and she fell out of the routine. Since then she flaked on me every day this week. She won't talk about it and finds excuses and I can't say anything to motivate her.
I'm sad. It was more fun, less of a task, more challenging to work with her and I realize I have to do this on my own. I'm going to talk to her one more time today when she gets to work and if it seems like its not going to work out I'm going to "re-route" my thinking and my workouts to do them from the home gym instead.
Its early in the stages of my band, and I don't want to get off track so soon. I was already in a funk yesterday because I can't get a second fill until 8/6 (first one was 6/28), and I'm gonna need another one before then!
:confused:Thanks for letting me vent!
OK, I had a trainer appointment this morning. I got measured (4 weeks since joining gym and having first measurements), and had a nice chat. At $100 an hour I could find a nice dog to chat with and buy a new pair of pants, but ok. And its not as if I didn't enter into this contract with eyes wide open and wanting the motivation and information.....
First, I have lost 2 inches from my hips, 1.5 from thighs and 1 from my waist. Considering I can't and haven't done any core or lower body weights these results are just from the elliptical. I'm over the moon. Explains why my pants fall off when I walk.
Trainer says I need to start lower body this week which I agree with. I'm going to meet with him again next Sunday and start core. My pain (from who knows what) on my left side is mostly gone and I'm cleared 8 weeks out (next weekend) to start core so that's that.
I need to kick up my elliptical -- not working hard enough. WHAT??? I guess I wasn't pushing hard enough and I need to try to get my heart rate up over 130 (target is 150-170? JEEZ). Its around 100-110 now, but I'm off high blood pressure meds so it should go up fairly well now. But I'm not supposed to be able to easily hold a conversation during the 45 minutes so there you have it.
I went online and recorded almost 100 songs that I can play while I'm on the elliptical that will keep me moving faster. That way when my workout buddy flakes on me or I'm on my own I can listen to some catchy fast tunes to keep my pace up!
Watching the soccer match, cleaning, laundry and packing food for lunches. Fun, relaxing day!
:rolleyes2:
First, I want to say how much I appreciate everybody's support and feedback yesterday. I have truly found support here and I can't communicate enough how much that means to me.
I realize I am happy and sad at the same time. This week, since I'm newly filled and very restricted, I'm not really eating any solids and I think although I'm excited to be getting closer to the sweet spot, I'm depressed because I'm so USED to chewing and eating and not having to take so much longer to eat. I am mourning my old habits, in a strange way!
I weighed today at the gym, as every Saturday. I'm overjoyed at the weight loss, and excited by the fact I can exercise, climb stairs, enjoy being active more than I have in a long, long time. I have fun working out, and even more fun feeling good when the workout is over. I'm not sad to give up sitting on the couch or playing farmville for hours lol.
I mailed off three suits I sold on EBay this week -- the first of many sets of beautiful clothes I've accumulated over the last five years. Again, happy they don't fit, sad to see them go.
I wouldn't trade where I am in this banding journey for anything. I look forward to shopping for new clothes next spring, and feeling even better every day.
Thanks for listening. I'll try to be there for all of you any time you need me.
- Sandy -
I expect to wake up every morning feeling thinner. I never do, but I expect to!
I expect to work out hard at the gym and walk out of there feeling wonderfully fit and look put together. I never do, but I expect to.
I expect to put on pants/skirts every day and have them be so big they need safety pins to keep them on. Sometimes this happens but not always.
I have very high expectations for myself after this surgery. I'm not meeting them, and instead of learning some amount of patience to deal with the fact that its only been 7 weeks and I'm not going to look like Cindy Crawford yet, I get frustrated and this affects my eating, sleeping and workouts.
I wish I could take a pill and sleep for a year, wake up 100 lbs lighter and move on my way. I know it took time to get this heavy, but I lack the patience to wait for the time to not be this heavy. I don't mind the workouts or the cooking or the planning, I just want INSTANT RESULTS every day, every way.
Thinking a discussion with the therapist is in order on this one.
I'm not really down, I just want to buy some patience or better yet trade in a couple dozen pounds for some patience??? :rolleyes2:
I went yesterday afternoon for my first fill. Had a long talk with the doctor as well -- probiotics are good, ready to do lower body weights in two weeks. I'm off blood pressure medication!! Yeah!!!And I've lost 21 lbs since the surgery 5 weeks ago.
The fill itself didn't hurt a bit. She took out 4 (!) ccs and put back in 5.5. Made me sip water and told me to stay on soft foods for about a week.
But NO, I literally forgot on the way home. Had brought a little sandwich with deli turkey and orowheat thins. NOT what to eat! Bread got stuck first bite down and it was a painful three or four minutes until I could exit the freeway and get to a gas station. Gave the bread to the environment, walked around for about 10 minutes and I was fine. She had told me no bread for a week! No more than 15 minutes earlier!
Other than that it was uneventful, although I'm eating slower and definitely getting full faster. I'm sure I didn't eat a cup of ground turkey and ground up carrots for dinner -- about 1/2 was all I could do for now.
We'll see how the week goes. Next fill is scheduled for 8/6. I still need to work on habits like chewing, waiting between bites, and maybe introducing some foods more slowly.
On my way to the gym for a short workout before a long day of meetings. Have a great day everybody!
I'm just tired. I feel every bit of my age today. Yesterday was a very busy day at work which is good, and I worked out hard. This morning I kind of went through the motions at the gym and I'm kind of going through the motions at work as well.
I'm tired of working hard and not getting anwhere. I try to stay upbeat, but today its not going to happen.
I eat less than 1200 calories a day, every day. I work out every day at least once (elliptical, weights, water aerobics or a combination), every day. Today I put on a size 22 skirt that fit before the surgery, and it fits now.
Nice. I'm just fed up with this. I must be one of those people that don't lose weight no matter what. Maybe 50 is too old to do this.
I have a fill set for Monday, but seriously, what good will that do? I don't eat any carbs and my calories aren't out of whack for losing at least 2 lbs a week.
I'll let the doctor decide Monday I guess. Until then I think I'm gonna lay off the working out and get some rest.
Started feeling lower left abdominal pain (nothing big just a little) on Friday). Saturday my friend who had seen me last week and this week told me my stomach looked really swollen.
Yesterday I saw friends I haven't seen since the surgery and they said the same thing.
And the pain is getting worse. Thank goodness I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon! I think its gas, but even Gas-X isn't getting rid of it. I was thinking maybe its muscles on the elliptical? But that wouldn't cause that much bloat/swelling?
Well, we'll figure it out. Looking forward to the nutritional class and the appointment (and maybe a support group meeting afterwards).
I'm glad I'm not back to work this week. After driving two hours to the party, sitting for a couple hours, I'm exhausted.
Doctor's appointment went really well -- he felt part of my issue was two weeks of milk products and told me to go off the shakes and start on soft food. Incisions look good and my first fill is scheduled for 6/28! I got a chance to ask all the questions I had and then some. Dr. Oliak was wonderful.
Also had a great nutrition class on how to eat -- not just the next couple weeks but forever.
I started to look at this less like a weight loss competition and more like a lifelong journey. I need to live my life, eat and exercise to be healthy, and get over the daily drama I create about a scale or a piece of clothing.
I have to go back to work next week. I have much to do before I do that, so the next few days will be busy.
Happy Tuesday :eek:
Next year I'll be able to say I'm no longer dependent on airplane seat extenders, shopping at Lane Bryant, and not being able to go on roller coaster rides.
This year, 6 weeks in, I'm no longer dependent on food as my primary source of focus during the day. I'm no longer dependent on needing three minutes to recover from walking up a flight of stairs. And no longer dependent on worrying about my feet swelling and my blood pressure.
That is a good feeling. However, at the base of all this is the fact that I live in a country where people fought and died to allow me to enjoy those lifestyle changes, and I'm grateful for living here in USA.
We are watching fireworks over Coronado on the Navy Base in San Diego. Beautiful day full of picnics, games, beach and awesome fireworks. Have a great day!
This morning I got up at 4:00 and left at 4:30 to drive up to work and work out at the gym by work with my friend at 5:30. I had my bag packed, my clothes in the car, and was totally looking forward to it!
We worked hard on the elliptical for 45 minutes. It felt really good. I didn't mind the makeup/shower stuff at the gym and got to work by 7:30 which is great.
Tonight is a healthy cooking class at the support group/surgeon's office and that will be fun. I'm always out for new recipes.
A week from today will be my first fill. I'm glad for that only because I'm following the program on sheer willpower alone. This past weekend was hard for me -- ate too often not really too much -- and wasn't able to walk away from the refrigerator as often as I do during the week (at work).
I still have a little swelling above my belly button and any gas is now from eating fruits and veggies (after the protein of course). I wonder if I can go back on align? It really worked for me?
Have a great Monday everybody. :smile2:
