I'm still at 230, but today I went to Macy's because I have no casual pants to wear and I decided to check out the sales.
I went up to the third floor at Macy's to Woman's World. My best friends work there (they are my best friends because my closet capers have paid their mortgages for years). My last jeans were 24s, so I pulled 18Ws knowing I'm close to that. I had a tearful moment in the dressing room when I pulled them on without unzipping them!
One of the assistants knocked and asked if I needed anything. I opened the door and showed her the pants and she said "Honey you need to go down to Misses. We don't have anything to fit you up here.".
I bought 18s. They are tight, but wearable. I'm having a moment or two today. Two months ago those 24's fit good. I packed the rest of the casual pants up to sell or give away. I AM DONE WITH LANE BRYANT. I AM DONE WITH AVENUE. I AM DONE WITH WOMAN"S WORLD.
I've taken this surgery very seriously. I've worked out hard, and keep to meal plans (for the most part). I've embraced this with everything I have.
Feeling better and being off blood pressure meds are one thing. But a pair of pants in Misses? PRICELESS.
I can't stop crying. I went to WW this morning and weighed and I only lost 3.8 lbs since last Saturday. I worked so hard at this and I'm so disappointed. There is nothing I can write or say that is going to make this better.
I have a doctor's appointment on Monday -- the post op. Somehow I have to get through the next couple days and figure out where to go. I have never been so disappointed in anything in my life.
Yesterday afternoon I bought a WII fit. Didn't use it yet.
Anyways, on the way home I was hungry for ice cream for the first time in a long time. Kitty corner from the Best Buy strip mall is a McDonalds and an El Pollo Loco (which has a Tastee Freeze). I drive through El Pollo and order a fat free small vanilla cone. Not bad. I'm told they don't have any ice cream.
Sign? Probably. But do I listen? No. I have to drive around a block to get to McDonalds. During the drive a lap band commercial comes on. I quickly change the channel. I go through the drive through and get a chocolate dipped cone no less. $1.04 well spent!
I'm driving away and its hot out and my window is down. The vanilla ice cream melts fast and I have ice cream running down my face, my shirt. I got about 1/3 of that thing down before I had to pull over and throw it away. And then I have to walk into my townhouse, full of chocolate and ice cream all over me, carrying a WII fit!! The irony...........
What is up with that??? I don't even want to imagine..............
:rolleyes2:
OK, lost 4 lbs and that is moving from liquid to semi solid diet. Ever have that feeling when you are waking up that you are smaller, somehow? I felt that way when I got up today. I think my swelling is down somewhat and I'm passing liquids better.
Kind of getting into the rhythm with eating and my blood pressure meds. I literally chew my two little pills, swallow a tiny bit of water to get them down, and then go work out for 45 mins on the elliptical. Then I drink water or whatever. Seems to make a big difference in the water pill doing its job. Doctor told me to try different ways of taking the pills, but there were no absorption studies one way or the other.
Second trainer appointment this morning and then home to figure out some recipes for the week and get a shopping list together.
I read on someone's post that they are more focused on the whole food/eating/cooking thing than before the surgery. Amen to that! It is a big focus of my day.
I'll spend a lot of time on the weekends getting organized for the week. Being away from home 10-12 hours a day will mean I will have to be well-prepared at work.
I'm very thankful for this forum, responses to blogs and posts, and for all the support. This is just too new, too big, too consuming not to have this great support!
:bored:
Yesterday we did 45 minutes on the elliptical in the morning. All good. Last night I stayed at a local hotel to go to a Zumba class with my workout buddy, do some swimming afterwards, and enjoy our night without having to drive 90 minutes each way to get there.
I'm in the hotel, unpacking my suitcase and I realize my tennis shoes are in my trunk. I go downstairs with my workout clothes on and no shoes and we have a little earthquake, rendering the elevators inoperable. I walk up four flights of stairs (should be no problem after 4 weeks of ellipcial right?). NO. Winded and tired big time. OK, learned I might not be working as hard as I could be on the elliptical, or maybe need to do some stairmaster here and there?
We go to the Zumba class last night. Somewhere over the last 20 years I lost any ability to follow an instructor's moves, and any hope of coordination I had. I stood in the back and moved my feet and arms a lot and hoped no one on the street was watching. I worked up a big sweat and we left 5 minutes before the class was over as my friend was really warm.
But I'm going again next week, or even some time at my home gym this weekend. I'll never learn it if I don't keep trying!
I feel great this morning. Slept in instead of working out, and will go to water aerobics at the home gym at 6pm tonight instead.
I'd love to be able to follow the instructor, but I'm happy just with hanging around and getting exercise to music, so its all good.
Happy Thursday everybody!
I had my surgery on Wednesday May 26th. I've done very well following diets, exercising, not stressing stitches or incisions. For the most part I am doing really well. I still have bloating and gas, but I can manage through either of those pretty easily. It will be nice when either or both are gone -- I think I've lost noticeable weight everywhere but my tummy :-)
Its hard to get in all the protein. I might go to GNC today and see what they have for low carb high protein mix or shots. I don't like having to eat deli turkey just to get an extra 10 or 15 grams at night.
I've gotten my hair colored and I did new makeup at Bobbi Brown yesterday. Treats to myself and doing things I don't usually have time to do.
Although I'm doing several hours of work from home the next couple days, I'll be looking forward to going back to work. I'm not used to having free time and its not really that good for me right now?!
Meeting with new LA Fitness trainer tonight to go over my new lifestyle. I'm not learning weights yet (too early), but we're going to mix up the cardio. Laughing. I'm a couch potato gone gym rat!
Have a great day everybody. Love to all for the wonderful information, support and guidance!
:bored:
Yesterday was the pre-surgery visit which went fine, although I'm realizing that for some reason I'm always at the back of the line? I get to the office first and have to wait for other people and then they get done before me with the same people and procedures! I need to let this go -- stupid.
So I need to lose 5 more lbs before surgery and I was pretty honest yesterday -- lack of significant weight loss is due to "last meal" scenarios with friends and family. I started doing 2 Slim Fasts and 1 meal a day (and a better one at that) today, so we'll see how it goes after Saturday. Don't want to weigh every day and just be disappointed or down for any reason.
Loving life!!!:smile:
Well yesterday was a great day! I ate well (maybe not enough but still followed the plan) and went to the gym close to work with a friend and her daughter after work.
I warmed up, did upper body lifting for about 30 minutes and then 45 on the elliptical. Then I proceed to get in my car and drive home 47 miles. Traffic is much lighter at 6:45pm than 4:30, and I saved myself the time I spent on the elliptical in driving so I felt positive.
Got home a little later than usual, but I now realize that is a good thing. No couch potato time available. Had to shower, get ready for today, pack food, minor cleaning .....
I'm singing more. Walking more. Smiling more. Not because I've woke up and suddently look like Cindy Crawford (my idol), but I just feel better! More energy, less heavy breathing after stairs, just general feeling of well being.
Its all good!
Third day of getting up early, driving to work and getting home late. I'm getting pretty tired. Had to use puffy eye cream this morning.
Big meeting with customers this morning but after that I can be in my office semi-relaxing at desk work for the rest of the day. Then its workout time with my gym buddy! That I'm actually looking forward to.
I am alternating between working out at home in the morning and at the gym after work. After a week of it I'll figure out whether it works for me.
Im trying to get those calories to between 1000 and 1200 slowly. I've been on 600-800 for almost three weeks and I'm kind of used to it. I get in my protein and water so I'm not doing badly I just know the weight loss won't continue at a starvation mode. Even though I bring a whole bunch of soft foods to work I can't seem to get them in. Its much tougher at work than it was at home. This will be a good thing when I really get hungry!
Oh my gosh! Today is 3 weeks! 3 weeks ago today I had my surgery! Happy Birthday, Band! And like having a baby, the initial days of discomfort are fading fast.......
I weigh once a week, same time, same scale at Weight Watchers. I hid my scale in the garage the day after surgery and haven't looked back.
On Monday I weighed at the doctor's office. Lost a pound since Saturday. Great!
Started eating soft foods and I log them on dailyplate. Still around 800 cals - 1000 cals/day. Gassy tummy gone, swelling still there.
Met with personal trainer first time yesterday. She didn't force me to weigh, I did. That was last night, with sneakers and full on workout clothes -- GAINED SIX LBS. So I cried for about 10 seconds in the locker room, washed my face and left it there.
If I freak at this early date every time I get on a scale I'll never succeed, or if I do I will lose my mind and drive everyone around me crazy too.
I'm sticking with a weigh in at Weight Watchers on Saturday mornings. My trainer will be good with it (what she will say no?) and I'll stop this stupid vicious roller coaster that is already running when the cars aren't even on it yet!
Today is a busy work day from home, getting ready to go back to work Monday.
I love LA Fitness, and I love my trainer. I love grilled fish and I love the fact that its another beautiful day.
Good Friday :bored:
I had my second fill on 7/19. For the next week I stayed on liquids and when I strayed at all I had major issues with PBing/stuck/etc.
Starting about Friday of last week no longer felt any restriction. Hungry about every 2-3 hours and although I never ate more than 1 C of food every 3 hours I was still hungry when I was done. I do have to chew more and eat more slowly. Drink good water (70+ oz a day). Probably eat 4 meals a day? (1 is a little grazing kind of thing?) Didn't work out as much last week or the week before as I was weak and unmotivated.
My next fill appointment is Friday afternoon (8/6). I think I'm getting closer, but I don't know if I should fill or flee for now. I'd like the band to work a little more at restricting amount and number of times, but I'm worried it will be too much.
Here's my fills: Had 4cc in 10 cc band at surgery (5/26). First fill to 5.5cc on 6/28. Second fill to 7.25cc on 7/19.
Two fears: overfilling and what happens if I get to 10cc and I'm still not getting the restriction?
Its a quandry, I tell you :-) Your input is welcome and appreciated........
:cool:
Big day today. Three months ago today I was banded. I don't even remember some of the specifics anymore. I don't know whether that is old age or just focusing on new things like eating healthier and exercise.
I've come a LONG WAY since my decision to pursue LAP-BAND® in late December. I've lost 60 lbs, many sizes, shoe sizes, feel a ton better in terms of energy and self esteem. I have a LONG way to go, but I can see the tunnel (not yet the light much less the light at the end). It was a struggle sometimes, but mostly I feel incredibly blessed every day.
My 24-year old daughter Ashley is flying in from Omaha today for a long weekend with her mommy. I haven't seen her since Christmas. I might just hug her all night until she finally says "ok I need sleep!". We have a fun weekend of shopping, pampering and family dinners at my house. I'm not worried about eating -- I can't eat that much anyways and I don't really crave or miss anything. I've inspired her (so she says) to work out and she has lost 18 lbs (she wasn't really heavy to begin with), and she wants to go to the gym with me. We will be doing a lot of walking and swimming so I think I'm covered exercise-wise. She leaves Sunday night.
I still have her message to me on 5/26 on my voicemail. I re-save it all the time and will never delete it. That voicemail, all your support, and a strength I didn't know I possessed got me to this point, and will get me to goal on 5/26/11.
God's peace.........
Sandy
I went yesterday afternoon for my first fill. Had a long talk with the doctor as well -- probiotics are good, ready to do lower body weights in two weeks. I'm off blood pressure medication!! Yeah!!!And I've lost 21 lbs since the surgery 5 weeks ago.
The fill itself didn't hurt a bit. She took out 4 (!) ccs and put back in 5.5. Made me sip water and told me to stay on soft foods for about a week.
But NO, I literally forgot on the way home. Had brought a little sandwich with deli turkey and orowheat thins. NOT what to eat! Bread got stuck first bite down and it was a painful three or four minutes until I could exit the freeway and get to a gas station. Gave the bread to the environment, walked around for about 10 minutes and I was fine. She had told me no bread for a week! No more than 15 minutes earlier!
Other than that it was uneventful, although I'm eating slower and definitely getting full faster. I'm sure I didn't eat a cup of ground turkey and ground up carrots for dinner -- about 1/2 was all I could do for now.
We'll see how the week goes. Next fill is scheduled for 8/6. I still need to work on habits like chewing, waiting between bites, and maybe introducing some foods more slowly.
On my way to the gym for a short workout before a long day of meetings. Have a great day everybody!
I am glad its Friday because I get up at 3 am during the weekdays to travel to a gym by work.
I'm glad I'm banded because having the procedure has moved me to change my lifestyle -- eating habits, exercise, what I do and the energy that I do it with. I don't have much restriction (if any), and I haven't lost 30 lbs a month since I started, but I'm proud of making the changes I have in my life.
The changes have improved my overall health -- I don't take blood pressure medication, I don't pant walking up stairs, I have much more energy.
My clothes are big and I've lost a significant amount of weight toward my goal. I have a long way to go, but I'm looking to add the band (restriction) to the mix over the next month (two fills scheduled) which should help.
Until then, and after then, I'm so grateful that I was able to take this step. Its changed my life A LOT.
:thumbup:
I read a lot of postings and blogs this morning (took short time to get ready?), and I'm thinking a lot about support -- who gives it, who doesn't, who I think should and who suprises me.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. This website is an amazing find and an incredible source of support for me every day. I can always find information and someone that has/is/was going through what I am/did/anticipate and its been a Godsend.
My mom and my daughter are not supportive at all. My mom is just an anorexic old lady who said yesterday "I'm prejudiced against obese people. I can't wait until you are skinny". Jesus. I let most of her negativity roll off me and its actually taught me a lot about how I act and what I say. My daughter is just spoiled and self-centered so I let that go.
My friends are mixed between semi-supportive and non-committal. I'm fine with that and I don't really need a lot of support from the group that isn't.
I am my biggest supporter. When I get down I either self-talk myself into the positive, allow myself to be down for awhile, or find something on the site to bring me up. I pray a lot; I have a strong faith. Or take a walk or even work out. I can count on me to help; I'm never sure I can count on anybody else.
This is my battle to save my life. My blood pressure, heart, lungs, joints, bones. All suffered under morbid obesity. I am arming myself with the tools to fight the battle. The band is a big one, exercise is another. One of those is my mind, my attitude, my ability to let the negativity slide off me and not bring me down.
It won't always be good, easy, upbeat. But at the end of the day, its me and God.
Hugs and peace to everybody............
Got up, did 45 hard minutes on the elliptical almost right away. Its hard and I start to watch the clock at about 30, but I always feel good when I'm done (after my face turns from red and I cool down!).
Despite the emotional setback yesterday I'm doing good and staying on track with the liquid diet. I'm looking forward to the appointment with the doctor and the nutritionist tomorrow.
It is going to be hot today. Spend the morning working (yep gotta get some stuff done) and getting ready to go to a friend's son's birthday party. Got my Slim Fast shake and some water freezing to have while I'm there so I don't lose resolve over food and wine!
I need to learn how to focus less on an ounce or a pound and more on the journey. Even though my scale is packed away, I find myself trying on clothes until I find something even remotely loose and wearing that around to the store or whatever. I have to focus on other things and I will keep trying!
:thumbup:
My daughter's visit went very well, although I was sad to see her leave. My house is so quiet without her! We really had a great weekend. Of course it started great when she walked down the stairs from the airplane gates crying "Oh mommy you look so great!". We didn't dwell on the surgery or anything food related all weekend although she noted a couple times how much more energy I have.
We walked over 6 miles on Friday shopping for her. She was buying new clothes for our trip to Aruba for Christmas. I didn't buy much because I've been debating what size to buy. We ate organic and sashimi on Friday. Saturday I had family over and I really couldn't eat much as I was stressing over company and hostessing. Sunday we did church and I made a big brunch for everybody and I ate a little. We also managed to go to the gym twice as well.
All in all I did well on the plan and lost 4 lbs since Thursday. I was a little disappointed in my cousin's reactions -- one actually said "you were so fat at Christmas I'm glad you are doing something about it". OK, backhanded compliment? Maybe.
Back to work and a busy week. The hell I've been through with my product line over the last 8 months is almost over and I'll be swamped until after the first of the year. This is great for me in many ways and I'm grateful for that. There will still be drama and politics but I'll be too busy to worry about them.
Thank you to all for your well wishes. I love my daughter dearly and I appreciate hers (and yours) support immensely
This just happened so its pretty "fresh" in my mind..........
I haven't really had any solid food since last Sunday night (Monday fill), and I was ready today at lunch. Didn't have breakfast; had a slim fast shake (1/2 at 9 am), and was fairly hungry by noon.
My friend and I went to our favorite Sushi resteraunt to have salads. Mine is crab and shrimp all chopped up in little pieces over lettuce. (I don't eat the lettuce won't even try). I take a bite of crab -- nummy and easy. It isn't really chewing its so small, but I chew chew chew anyways. I sit down my chopsticks, chat for a minute or two and take the next bite. Excellent. But then it happens. AGAIN. Brain fart. Forget to wait and shovel about 2-3 forkfuls in 20 seconds while talking even!!! And AGAIN, I get stuck.
Poor friend this is the second time she's seen this in as many weeks. I walk slowly to the bathroom, hoping that getting up will help. NOPE. Slime for awhile, go back to the table with hiccups. Take a swallow of water.
WRONG decision. Makes it all worse. Go back to the bathroom, slime again. Back to the table where she is paying already. We leave and then I endure THE LONGEST FIVE MILES ever. Longer than being in labor and driving to the hospital. Hiccups and feeling terrible all the way. She is talking but I can't respond, just sweating and convinced I'm dying (I did not verablize this; I couldn't) Pull into the driveway at work, all of a sudden its all gone!
NOT LEARNING is really frustrating to me. I'm not like this with intellectual stuff. This eating is so ingrained I'm not doing well.
I'm mad at me. I will keep reminding myself, but I'm mad. I don't want to hurt the band, and I need to figure out what I'm doing and make sure I'm getting nutrients instead of eating and spitting them all back up.
Thanks for letting me get this "off my chest", in more ways than one!
:thumbup:
Started feeling lower left abdominal pain (nothing big just a little) on Friday). Saturday my friend who had seen me last week and this week told me my stomach looked really swollen.
Yesterday I saw friends I haven't seen since the surgery and they said the same thing.
And the pain is getting worse. Thank goodness I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon! I think its gas, but even Gas-X isn't getting rid of it. I was thinking maybe its muscles on the elliptical? But that wouldn't cause that much bloat/swelling?
Well, we'll figure it out. Looking forward to the nutritional class and the appointment (and maybe a support group meeting afterwards).
I'm glad I'm not back to work this week. After driving two hours to the party, sitting for a couple hours, I'm exhausted.
Went to lunch today and had shrimp cerviche. It took me 65 minutes to eat about 1/2 the serving, BUT I did it without pain or issue!!! My friend just sat there and watched me the last 30 minutes. I'm fine with that as long as I didn't hiccup, slime and PB for a long time afterwards.
It was probably too long, but I didn't want to risk yesterday's situation re-occurring. I think I remember the nutritionist saying what you can't finish in 45 minutes should be left behind. I'll figure this out in the next week (one week post-fill).
Now let's see if I stay full at least 3-4 hours. I feel so much better today than yesterday!
Got me thinking -- in this lifestyle change I need to be more patient -- eating, exercising, weight loss. Slow and steady will get me where I need/want to be. It won't always work, but at least for now I'm thinking about it.
Hope your Tuesday is going well, everybody.
I missed my six month bandaversary which was 11/26. I was at my mom's who saw me for the first time since before my surgery. She was very suprised when I walked into baggage claim at DFW. I got a lot of positive reinforcement at her house (not from her but from everybody else). Since I decided to do lap band back in January I'v lost about 84 lbs. I'm under 200 for the first time in 6 years and I wear size 14 pants. My arms are horrendous and I am going to focus on them with a trainer (still in 16W), but I'm very very pleased with it all.
I had a terrible Thanksgiving. I am still very reactive to stress, and I was stressed out that morning trying to get everything done. At 52, you would think I wouldn't feel like a bad child around my mom, but I do. I took the first tiny bite of mashed potatoes and it CAME RIGHT BACK UP. Luckily in my napkin, but it was like potato slime. Nothing else would work so I just pushed food aound my plate and pretended to eat but my aunt and daughter caught me. I got better by Friday but I realize how stress affects me. This never used to happen. I just got home last night and I feel somewhat better. We worked out every day but Thursday and I lost another 4 lbs last week so I'm happy. My goal is to be at goal by my 1 year anniversary which is 6 months and about 50 lbs away.
I have to go back to work this afternoon; I have an interview with a company closer to home this morning. Nice to "see everyone" again and wish me luck today!
Even though she is not on the site, I want to thank my co-worker and friend Jodi, who is beside me all the way, since I made the decision to get a band back in January 2010. She changed her eating habits, encouraged me to join a gym, and now we work out together every morning before work. She is nothing short of encouraging and supportive and I would not be in the place I am now if it weren't for her. She lives close to the gym (and work) and makes me breakfast every day! I thank God for her and her support.
Fridays are always pretty laid back at work; and everyone is looking forward to a beautiful weekend. Its a blood drive today, but I can't give blood because I had surgery 4 weeks ago and they won't take me. Next time!
Monday is first fill day. The weekend will be full of cleaning, errands, church and working out. My goal is to not overeat this weekend compared to weekdays.
Happy Friday everyone! I hope your day goes (or went) well!
Saturday mornings are weigh in at Weight Watchers. I follow the plan religiously and work out hard 6 days a week. I expect losses in the 2-3 lbs range each week.
Nope. .4 lbs. 4/10th of a pound? I shudder to think what would have happened if I didn't sweat my ass off one day or ate two pretzels!!!
I'm going to have my first fill Monday. I'm calling Monday morning to see if I can get in with the nutritionist and print out my logs from daily.plate and have her take a look. Maybe not enough food = really really slow metabolism/starvation mode??? Maybe too much protein? Who knows but I'll look to people who have been there or are the doctor's staff for support at this point.
My first instinct after leaving WW was to go home and eat something like fries and skip the gym -- water aerobics and some cardio. I'm gonna try instead to stay really busy this weekend, eat well and be smart about it.
:smile:
Still swollen, still gassy, but I work around those "issues" and had a great day yesterday! Part of me would like to stay home another week and part of me knows I need to get back in the swing of work. I wish I could split myself!
Keeping up with hard workout on the elliptical -- 8 days in a row -- and I feel good when I'm done lol.
My bible study group met last night and had a great, uplifting visit. I had some strawberries and a Popsicle so I did well.
I loved cooking and eating food again, even if it was soft. Had some beef vegetable soup my mom had made and froze for me, an egg scramble and some crab meat and tomatoes.
Biggest challenge -- liquids. I'm going to try to keep better track today as I think I was way short of that goal.
Happy Wednesday! :-):eek:
When I was at the post-surgery visit (6/14), I asked about taking a probiotic. I had started taking one in February 10 but stopped a week prior to surgery.
In my case its Align which is in capsule form. I was told OK. Started taking it around the 18th of June and I can say it is working well at helping my digestion both in gas and constipation; both of which are basically gone.
Still have some issues if I eat later at night and don't walk afterwards, but otherwise I notice a big difference.
On my way to the gym for some early morning elliptical and a water aerobics class. Have a wonderful day everybody!
