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ShayDee's Journal

A blog by ShayDee

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My Journey...

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Thank God the journals are working again cuz boy have I had a bad couple of week

So.. it all started out as my boss and his wife being arrested for child abuse.. which I had nothing to do with ( abusing the children, I mean ) but I *did* help with the investigation as far as telling them everything I knew and had saw and even wore a recorder when I was talking to them to get them admitting things on tape. So, they were arrested and the same day we all lost our jobs ( as to be expected ) BUT, come to find out.. I tried to draw unemployment, and the employment commission wants me to drop out of school to draw a check every week because going to class 8 hours a week ( 2 days of class, 4 hours a class ) is making me unavailable for full time work ( bullshit ) so, I had to file an appeal and have to go to a hearing.. anyway after ALL of that... Come to find out, they reopened the daycare I was working at and decided NOT to hire me back. Why? Dunno. I've been there the longest. Maybe they know I snitched? Not sure. But they are guilty as all hell, I know that much and even if I was offered a position to come back, I wouldn't. But now, I'm left without a job, no money, bills coming in everyday and my financial aid check is going to be later this time than it is usually and I'm getting so depressed sitting at home everyday but I've no choice because for one, I don't have a daycare anymore, 2 - my daycare assitance from Social Services was cancelled, 3 - I'm lucky to have enough gas money to make it to school those 2 days a week. *sighs* It's getting difficult but somehow we're managing. I just hope my luck gets better soon.

September 28, 2006

1

Stacker 2's WITH ephedra

Oh how I love these things.. 4 years ago I lost 45 lbs in 4 months on them and then I got pregnant and yada yada.. of course they took it off the shelves because of ephedra in it and people being nuts and taking too many BUT I think if you use them as recommended they can do wonders for people such as myself with low energy and extremely slow metabolism. Low and behold I found some online and just *had* to have them.. so I bought 2 bottles and I've lost 5 lbs in 4 days after about 2 months of no loss at all. I'm sooo glad and I have so much more energy now. And better news on top of that.. my psych evaulation got bumped up from Feb. 27th till January 9th! WOOHOO! Hopefully that means I'll have my surgery by atleast March 2007 *crosses fingers* bad news: I've got strep throat and an ear infection in both ears :youcandothis:

December 23, 2006

1

Smoking, work, stress!

Geesh. Okay, so I've been smoking since I was 14. I'm 24 now so that's a good ten years and lord knows I feel the effects of it on my lungs and the rest of my body. And like the doctors say.. I'm having this surgery to improve my health and quality of life so I should quit smoking before I have the surgery and I want to so bad but for the past 10 years.. these damn things have been the stress reliever of my life and I guess you could say my crutch. I know I need to give it up but I'm so scared that if I give it up, I'll turn to eating more to overcome my cravings for nicotine and thus gain more weight or I'll get so irritable and miserable that no one around me will be able to stand me. Or maybe I'm just making excuses? I started taking my calcium pills today because my bones seem to ache all the time from all this weight and when I had my pretests done at the hospital my bloodwork came back and said I have a vitamin D deficency so I'm hoping this will help somewhat. And as of right now.. I have 1 month and 1 day left until my surgery and I'm getting so excited but I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about my job.. well, I just got a job at a distribution center for Dollar General and it requires heavy lifting but I found out the day after I got the job offer that my surgery will be next month and I'm a little scared to tell my supervisor because as of right now, I haven't even started the job yet ( waiting on background check to come back ) so by the time I get in there.. the surgery date will be less than a month away and what if they fire me? Can they fire me for medical leave? Ugh, it's so stressful!!

April 2, 2007

1

Slim Fast Optima

So.. still 7 days before my appt. but I've decided to try and lose what weight I can before getting banded so I'm gonna try the slim fast plan. I'm pretty excited about it. It seems sensible and something I can stick to seeing as I don't eat all that much anyway but maybe this will help me get into eating healthier.

September 5, 2006

2

sick :(

Well, figured out why I had the blahs... apperantly, I'm either coming down with a really bad cold or the flu.. I spent atleast 15 hours in bed yesterday with cold chills that hurt so bad.. it was like someone poking me with nails all over my body and then the fever kicked in and felt like i had 3rd degree sunburn. I haven't felt that sick since before Jared was born when I had the flu.. lol But, I feel better today but I can feel my chest starting to tighten and I know I'm gonna start coughing my head off any time now.

September 14, 2006

1

Psych Evaluation

Welp, I got that over with and I guess it went as to be expected. She says the surgeon/insurance company doesn't like for the patient to be actively depressed, which I am, so I'll have to continue with counseling in order to have my surgery - which is fine.. I think I need it. But seriously.. who would not be depressed if they were a few pizzas and a half gallon of ice cream away from 300 lbs?! c'mon now. Now.. the waiting game.. wait for the hospital to call or write and let me know when i'm having the surgery.. so anxious so anxious!!

January 12, 2007

1

Oh yeah!

My doctors appt. is tomorrow. I've been waiting anxiously for a month now. I hope she has good news for me *crosses fingers* Aside from that, I have managed to cut down my portions. I'm trying to stick with the slimfast regimen but I can't seem to drink even half of it and I feel full but I still get hungry like 2 hours later so .. I chew gum *shrugs* I guess tomorrow I'll see if I've lost any weight. I refuse to keep a scale in my house because instead of being online, I'll be weighing myself every 5 minutes and I'll get depressed when I see I haven't lost anything. And it seems to me.. My schedule is so full, I rarely have time to eat anyway so how could I not lose weight? But I'm not holding my breath on that theory. Before I found out about my thyroid disease, I worked in a factory 70 hours a week and it was nonstop walking, running, rush rush rush ( xmas season rush ) and i GAINED 30 lbs in one month and supposedly, thyroid medicine is suppose to help get some of that weight off of you but I'M NOT LOSING! Please have good news for me tomorrow, Doc.:nervous

September 10, 2006

2

My first initial consultation with surgeon...

Well, the drive was the worst of it... had to get up at 4:30am and drive almost 3 hours to the hospital but once I was there it was smooth sailing. There were only 9 people in our group seminar, 2 ( including myself ) opting for the band, the others were in desperate need of gastric and I say that not out of meanness but I stronly believe the band if for people who can still exercise and do that by not causing more harm than good to their bodies. I met a lot of nice people and the nutritionist and surgeon were so kind and took all the time I need to answer questions and I got the green flag from Dr. Schrimer for my band YAYAYAY! Now.. the psych evaulation.. why is it so hard to find a doctor to perform these? I tried my damnedest to find one closer to home with a no-go so back to UVA I go but honestly, I don't mind because I'm willing to take all the steps I can to get this done. I set a personal goal of walking 3 times a week and cutting back on soda and junk and I desperately need a food processor.. I was told to go ahead and start my multivitamins and calcium celtrate and if at all possible, lose some weight but it's not mandatory but I think I'll give it a shot anyways.. Which brings me to this, does anyone out there have any preop tips? Such as diets, things you did to prepare your body for the big lifestyle change? Please let me know. P.S. I also mentioned this website to my surgeon and told him how much all of you lovely people had helped me research this option and I appreciate all of your feedback so much. THANK YOU!

December 15, 2006

1

little ranting and bitching...

I love my boyfriend/fiance', but god he gets on my nerves sometimes. So, there we are in the grocery store and he sees some meat seasoning he wants. First of all, I don't like pork chops or steak so it makes no difference to me what he puts on his meat... but I made the mistake of wrinkling my nose in disgust and he says "okay, i'll put it back". I didn't want him to put it back!! lol.. I just don't like it *shrugs*... but what really irritated me is why does he need my approval for everything? I'm not his mother. Then he says to me "how can you grocery shop and not get any meats?" Well, I'm trying to eat healthier so I had got some ground turkey instead of hamburger and since I'm a full time college student and work when I'm not in school, a lot of the things I buy are quick cooking things like pizza, salads, chicken nuggets ( for my son ) etc. Anyway, it turned into a huge argument so I just went to the checkout lane and he takes off to the truck... sometimes I think, why do I bother?:angry

September 2, 2006

2

Hurry up, Sept. 11th!

I had read one of Telly's entries and saw her virtual model so I thought I'd try it myself and omg, how I long to look like that I can't wait to actually have a body and dress up like a young lady instead of boyish because I can't find clothes big enough to fit comfortably. That's an amazing difference... from 280 to 150 lbs.

September 4, 2006

1

Great news!

Went to the doctor and I got my pretest date!! I'm so excited. Wish it wasn't 3 months away but oh well. Thanks goodness!

September 11, 2006

1

got the blahs

Some days, I have tons of energy, some days I'm lucky if I get out of bed before 10. I wish I could find another job that works so well around my school schedule but oh well.. on a brighter side.. My son ( he's just turned 2 in July ) peed in the potty all by himself today! I was so proud AND he insists on drinking out of a regular cup with no lid. God, they grow up so fast. I love him so much.. he makes me smile when everything else is going wrong. He's so sweet ( when he wants to be ) and he's friggin hiliarious too lol ( Jared and I when he was around 6 months ) Oh..and I lost one pound.. lol

September 13, 2006

3

Finally! My surgery date!!

After almost a year of jumping through hoops and all that crap.. I finally got my approval and my surgery date!! May 3rd 10:00am!! I'm so happy I could crap smiley faces.

March 29, 2007

1

Can't wait, can't wait!

So, I guess I'll make this date my official start date of my journey, even though I've been researching this for atleast 3 months... I can't wait to have the band put in, I think it will help me so much. It's not so much losing the pounds I look forward to but that feeling of just feeling better and more healthier. Being able to wrestle around with my son and not feel give out or going outside to play with him and not feel miserable. I can't wait. Oh, and not to mention a better sex life with my husband-to-be.. We met when I was 70 lbs lighter and our sex life was amazing and now it's drizzled down to almost nothing. So, September 11th, I go back to my PCP and she's suppose to inform be whether or not my weight loss documentation has been accepted by the hospital where I'm having my surgery and I suppose then I'll set up a meeting with a surgeon and start doing all these exciting pretests I've read so much about. YAY! Even though I know they won't be fun, I'm thrilled just thinking about it.

August 31, 2006

2

Anybody??

So.. my surgery is like a little over a month away and I'm a little worried about the diet afterwards. I mean, what's the easiest way to adjust to the diet if you don't know how to eat healthy or live healthy? Should I go ahead and do a gym membership now or should I make changes to my lifestyle beforehand? Don't get me wrong. I love this site, there's a lot of information on here that's been helpful in my decision to have this surgery but I wish it were easier to talk with people about the surgery and their experiences or better yet.. a local group session would be awesome too. Does anyone have any suggestions on making the transition from fat slob to healthy happy person? lol :hungry:

March 31, 2007

2

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