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Angela's Blog

A blog by anglov

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My Lap Band Journey

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Focus

My goal now is to focus. Since I don't have restriction I need to focus on what I am eating and doing. Sometimes I wonder if the band is even there because I feel nothing. I am then reminded when I am eating meat and rush it. It gets stuck and then I feel the pressure start to ease and food slides on through. That is the ONLY time I am reminded I am banded. Everything else just glides on through. I am simplifying what I eat. I tried to mix it up and I think that got me in trouble so I am back to basics. I have realized I am a plate grazer. When I eat, I don't eat eat thing one at a time on my plate. I take bites of everything on my plate. BIG MISTAKE! This means I don't eat all my protein first and then move on. I move on as I eat my protein. I have to have ONE thing on my plate otherwise I won't eat my protein first. I am still hungry all the time. I am hungry about every 3 hours still. No matter what I eat I am hungry in 3 hrs sometimes less. The hardest part is at work. I have to bring lots of food, well, lots meaning several band servings since I work until 8pm. Last night at work I didn't bring enough and by 7pm my stomach was actually hurting because I was so hungry. It was painful and I have never had that happen before even during my pre-band days. And...what happens when you get that hungry? OVEREAT! I had to reign it in to keep from overeating. You also eat too fast which I did and some food did get stuck which actually is a pleasant reminder I actually have a band in there since I don't feel restriction otherwise. I carry an insulated cooler bag with me always with ice packs in it. I have bottled water and food like chicken salad or something I grab and eat if needed. Just make sure you have enough is all I can say.

May 26, 2010

0

So my thinking has had a makeover...

No restriction is no reason to give in. I don't get a feeling of being full until sometimes up to an hour after I eat. That can be trouble if I overeat. It is hard to get the protein in. I crave vegetables so I try to have some when I can. I am also running out of protein ideas and getting bored with the ones I have. I went to bingo last night. This is my first outing since being banded on the 10th. My bingo allows you to bring your own food if you want or fast food. Whatever you want. I brought some food with me but I saw they had chili. I really wanted a bowl and knew if I couldn't eat it hubby would. It was delicious. I don't think I would have liked it normally but I guess I was starved for something different. I ate maybe a 1/2 c if that and chewed the meat really well. I did fine and was stuffed so maybe what I am eating is not filling enough or it is too mushy? I ate meat and was full. So should I eat more solid proteins to stay satisfied longer and to feel full while eating otherwise I just don't get that feeling until it is too late and I have eaten too much. I am so confused. I think that an appointment with a nutritionist should be the 1st appointment post op we have. I could really use some help. I met with one before surgery but when you haven't had this done yet you don't know what questions to ask. I need more protein ideas for breakfast, lunch, dinner and some things easy to take to work. I hate fish such as tuna. YUCK. I haven't been able to eat it since my 2nd pregancy.

May 23, 2010

4

Restriction or no restriction that is the question

I posted a question in the post op form on restriction. I received several replies with good reminders of what I need to be focused on. I have no restriction. I have read that it happens when the swelling goes down. I just didn't expect it one week after surgery. I guess unrealistically I expected to be a little "tight" for a while. So, now I am on a different path. I have to be more mindful of my eating since I obviously don't have the help of my band right now. I go to the doctor on June 10th so that is quite a while to be on my own. I have thought a lot of what would I do if I stretched my pouch. What if this lack of restriction was actually my pouch was stretched? Could that be it? What do I need to do if it is stretched and how would I even know? Anyone?

May 22, 2010

4

1 week post op

I am down 7.2 lbs since surgery. It isn't a whole lot by comparison to others but isn't that point? I should not compare myself to others. My weightloss is just that, MY WEIGHTLOSS. That doesn't include the 5 lbs I gained from swelling after surgery. I lost that 5 lbs of fluid(that counts right?) and then 7.2 lbs after that. Not too bad considering I am not on a liquid diet. I only had clear fluids 2 days and surgery day was considered day 1. Each day I add more foods as I tolerate them. I am down a total of 25. 5 lbs since March 25th. This is the most weight I have lost in years. I am amazed at how well I am doing and I don't feel deprived really. I still miss my mac and cheese but I suppose I will one day get over that. I had breakfast casserole this morning. It was very tasty. It's funny how the little things are so much better now. I made it myself and it took a few minutes but tasted so good. I made ham salad that is wonderful and a change for lunch. I am not a tuna fan or any seafood for that matter. I think chicken, ham and egg salads will be my staples. It's best when you can make things yourself because you can control what goes into it but in reality since we are eating such small portions most foods are well within guidelines. Ok, has anyone else noticed that your tastebuds aren't the same? I LOVE to put lots and lots of pepper on my food. I never use salt. I have realized that now I am super sensitive to pepper in my food. I made egg salad and put a very small amount on my food. I mean very little and it still seemed to overpower the dish. I actually was coughing as if I had poured a cup of pepper on it. Very weird. I have to say I am so glad I found this site. I feel I have so much support and help on here and hopefully I can pass what I have gotten onto to someone else just joining us. Thanks to everyone I have met along the way and will continue to meet. Each one of you have touched my life in a way that is changing my life. At a time when I wasn't sure if this was the right decision I was reminded how successful I could be. Now that I am banded I know that no matter what I can get the help or encouragement I need right here.

May 19, 2010

2

Each day is a new beginning

Right now each day is like a new beginning. I learn new things about my new "friend" every day and in turn new things about my new life. I learn what works and what doesn't. Everyone is different so what I may tolerate someone else may not and vice versa. I haven't added anything new the past few days. My "food" choices consists of: yogurt, egg salad, refried beans ( to be used sparingly), applesauce and mashed bananas. Oh and Chocolate cheesecake pudding if I need a sweet fix. Which isn't often. I am not much for sweets. I am more of a savory girl. Not much variety there. One tip to watch out for andyou may not have this problem but refried beans are delicious when thinned with taco sauce but after 2 teaspoons I start to get the full/bloated feeling. It lasts a pretty long time so all in all is a good protein choice and staying power in my pouch. Can be painful if too much is eaten. I drove for the 1st time today. No problems. I have a van that sits a little high but I was still a little sore getting in and out. I only drove to the bookstore and back home. Which brings me to my find. I purchased the book "Eating Well after Weightloss Surgery". Intersting book/cookbook. It has 140 recipes that on each one indicates how much is a serving for Lapband, Gastric bypass etc. It breaks it down for each surgery type. It also indicates how to prepare your serving depending on how many weeks you have been banded or if not recommended in the first few weeks. I flipped through it first to make sure the recipes are something I would be interested in and found quite of few I liked and more that I could tweak to my liking. Some I thought were not worth the effort until I could eat them regular. Like an omelet. Why would I go through all the effort to make an omelet if I am going to just puree it as suggested for weeks 1-4 for lapband? Ummm....isn't that scrambled eggs? It is worth taking a look at. I haven't found many websites that have lapband friendly recipes. If anyone knows of any please share.

May 18, 2010

1

This was a crappy day!

ok well not totally crappy. I suppose it could be worse. I felt clogged today. I felt like something was trapped in the back of my throat. Like it was sitting there like nothing was going to pass by it. I didn't feel nauseated or anything but suddenly I just knew I needed ot get to the bathroom. I got in there and gagged. Again not nauseated it was just a feeling. I gagged three times and only spit but it dislodged whatever it was because I felt "free". Very weird. I sipped water for the next couple of hours. I am having a lot of sinus drainage that makes me cough day and night. I hope this doesn't cause any problems. All day long I was STARVING, okay not actually starving but you know what I mean. The hunger pains were there all day. I limited myself to 2 oz per meal like yesterday and felt I could have eaten 4 more. The pain was mostly gone today. I actually wore pants that button and I buttoned them so I would say the swelling once again is down. Maybe that is why I am so hungry? Dang if that is the case then I am a fast healer which could be problematic since I don't have the opportunity for a fill until June. I have realized today that even though I had surgery I have a habit of grazing. And if you think about it, if we are to eat every 3-4 hours anyway then that is essentially the same as grazing. I cooked again tonight and while I kept from scarffing the mac n cheese(by the way I AM ADDICTED TO) I was sooo hungry while cooking and it wasn't time for me to eat again. I prepared myself for how hard this would be but I guess I never thought that it would be like this. That's not true. I did I guess I just hoped it would cure some of my habits. Again a reminder this was surgery on my stomach not my brain. I have to be determined to make this my new life. I am really thankful my doctor does not require an extended liquid diet after surgery. Tomorrow I am going back to the foods I ate yesterday since that day was optimal for me.

May 17, 2010

2

This was a crappy day!

ok well not totally crappy. I suppose it could be worse. I felt clogged today. I felt like something was trapped in the back of my throat. Like it was sitting there like nothing was going to pass by it. I didn't feel nauseated or anything but suddenly I just knew I needed ot get to the bathroom. I got in there and gagged. Again not nauseated it was just a feeling. I gagged three times and only spit but it dislodged whatever it was because I felt "free". Very weird. I sipped water for the next couple of hours. I am having a lot of sinus drainage that makes me cough day and night. I hope this doesn't cause any problems. All day long I was STARVING, okay not actually starving but you know what I mean. The hunger pains were there all day. I limited myself to 2 oz per meal like yesterday and felt I could have eaten 4 more. The pain was mostly gone today. I actually wore pants that button and I buttoned them so I would say the swelling once again is down. Maybe that is why I am so hungry? Dang if that is the case then I am a fast healer which could be problematic since I don't have the opportunity for a fill until June. I have realized today that even though I had surgery I have a habit of grazing. And if you think about it, if we are to eat every 3-4 hours anyway then that is essentially the same as grazing. I cooked again tonight and while I kept from scarffing the mac n cheese(by the way I AM ADDICTED TO) I was sooo hungry while cooking and it wasn't time for me to eat again. I prepared myself for how hard this would be but I guess I never thought that it would be like this. That's not true. I did I guess I just hoped it would cure some of my habits. Again a reminder this was surgery on my stomach not my brain. I have to be determined to make this my new life. I am really thankful my doctor does not require an extended liquid diet after surgery. Tomorrow I am going back to the foods I ate yesterday since that day was optimal for me.

May 17, 2010

0

An End to Day 4 of my new Banded life

WOW!! What a rollercoaster day I had! I guess the swelling in my band went down ALOT because I was hungry every 3-4 hours and I ate every 3-4 hours. I was full each time after 2 oz. I had yogurt, egg salad(I pureed the heck out of it and then thinned it with relish juice), cream of broccoli soup, chocolate cheesecake pudding(lap band recipe). What I found really strange was when I am full at some point I hear gurgling in my belly and it sounds and feels like a clogged drain draining down. Then the full, bloated feeling goes away and I am just comfortable. It was a very interesting day as I had to listen to my stomach to find out what to do next. Oh big problem today. I was cooking dinner for the family and absentmindedly I take a spoon of the food and pop it in my mouth. I was suddenly going OH CRAP and spit it out. It was fettucini alfredo with diced chicken. I am going to have to break out of thiat nasty habit cause that could have turned ugly real fast. Here's the recipe for the chocolate cheesecake pudding from lapband.com Serving size: 1/2 cup Recipe makes: 10 Ingredients 1 small box instant sugar-free chocolate pudding mix 2 cups milk, skim or 1% 1 small package of low-fat soft cream cheese 1 (8 ounce) tub of low-fat cool whip Directions 1. In a medium bowl, beat pudding mix with 2 cups milk according to package directions. 2. Mix remaining ingredients until all are well blended. 3. Let stand in refrigerator for one hour. Nutrition Facts Serving Size 1/2 cup Recipe makes 10 servings Amount Per Serving Calories 130 Calories from Fat 60 Total Fat 7gSaturated Fat 5gTrans Fat 0gCholesterol 15gSodium 125gTotal Carbohydrate 13gDietary Fiber 0gSugars 5gProtein 4g

May 16, 2010

3

Well Day 3...

Today has been uneventful. Yesterday I had some broth and it just sat in my chest. I have a lot of sinus drainage that has been causing me to cough. I worry about my band slipping before it heals. Today I had some broth and after 5 spoons I was full. I am drining water as much as possible but that even sits in my chest sometimes. Probably due to the swelling from the surgery. All I can say is...WALK WALK WALK! Keep moving around even if it is to walk down the hallway. The only pain I have is when I get up from a seated position and that is at my port and hernia repair site. Other than that no pain. I'm not on pain meds but they said I can't drive for 5 days. I am very excited to see where all of this leads me.

May 14, 2010

4

Happy Band day to Me!!

I was banded this morning. So far so good. I am sore and my shoulder/back hurts a little. They found a hiatal hernia and repaired it while they were in there. The doctor said my liver looked good. Weird thing is they sent home before/after pictures of my hernia repair. My throat is REALLY sore and I am very thirsty. I recommend walking around or just get up and move around every hour. It really helps. I also have a heating pad for my back/shoulder. I have an ice pack for my stomach. It is sore where the hernia was repaired. I have a Q-ball that delivers continuous pain meds to my port site for two days and a nausea patch. Deep breaths are hard but I force it and coughing which hurts my stomach a little. All in all, I feel okay considering. Can't wait to see what each day brings. :smile:

May 13, 2010

9

Tomorrow is my day

I both excited and nervous. My mind is racing right now. I have got so much to do yet I don't know where to start. What shall I do first? I have to be at the hospital to check in at 5:30 am. Dang that is early!! My surgery is at 7:30. My hubby is staying home with me tomorrow and Thursday and then I am on my own during the day. I am so glad I took off work until the 20th. Now I am wondering what I am going to do about sleeping. My bed sits very very high. I literally have to climb up to get in it and I am 5'6". I guess I can sleep in the reclining seat on the couch if I am too sore to make the trek into my high rise bed. Now back to my nervousness...I am getting jittery. I have a lot of nervous energy right now but all I can do is worry about tomorrow. Deep down I know it will all be okay but part of me is still really really scared.

May 11, 2010

4

Very Nervous...scared really

Okay so now that I am in the final leg of my journey to banding, lots of things are running through my head. A lot of "what if". What if something goes wrong?HOw will I pay to fix it since I am self pay? What if they find something else wrong inside while they are in there? What if it doesn't work? And the ultimate...what if I die? I am finding myself dwelling on these most of the day. I don't let it show on the outside. On the outside, I am confident, calm, collected. I am so nervous on the inside that I am chewing up the inside of my cheeks. A nasty habit I do without even realizing it until it is all chewed up and hurting.

May 8, 2010

7

Struggling with pre-op diet

I am really struggling with the all liquid diet. I only have to be on it a week but I am sooo hungry. I have had to eat something. It's smalll but it helps. I am having really bad headaches where everything is blurry so I ate a small sandwich. Being diabetic I think has something to do with it. I may just have to eat a little something every day. After I ate my headache went away. I don't know what to do. I guess I need to call the dr office tomorrow and see if it would be okay.

May 7, 2010

5

1 week until "B" DAY

Today I went to the hospital for Pre-OP testing. I am cleared for banding...paid my bills. I also started my pre-op diet today. Ran into a fella that was in my education class and is getting banded the same day. He is an hour after me. It was good seeing a friendly face. Isn't it funny how you can wake up and you aren't hungry at all but when you know all you can have is a protein shake suddenly your stomach is growling so hard it hurts? That was me today! I felt like I was starving. I had tomato basil soup for lunch with unflavored protein powder. It was pretty good but it would have been better if I had a grilled cheese to go with it.:thumbup: It was a struggle. My boss and a few others decided to order chinese. They asked me. I declined. They asked me again telling me I might want to get it out of my system. I declined. I went to my testing, came back and they had already eaten. Yeah, Me 1 them 0. Then they decided they needed milk shakes. Again they asked me. I declined several times before they left me alone. They know I am on the diet starting today. Geez, let me the flip alone. Yes I probably will be beyond foul and mean before this is over.

May 6, 2010

4

17 days until surgery May 12th

Time is winding down. So much is running through my mind these days. What will it be like? What does "restriction" feel like? Will I know when I need to get a fill? What will it feel like when I eat and supposed to be full? I hear all the terms and phrases and I understand them all but I don't "know" them. This has me feeling scared and nervous. I know I will be fine it's just the unknown that has me cautious. The good news is I am continuing to lose a little weight each week. I think the fact that surgery is close at hand is keeping me on track and making better choices. I am down 13.5 lbs so far and I haven't started the pre-op diet yet. I have just been choosing less starches than before. I don't drink soft drinks anymore. I never drank diets, just regular and it was nothing for me to have 4-6 a day. I have said it many times before, Vitamin water zero is my water of choice. I do drink water at restaurants. I choose a lot of salads and veggies w/out sauces, more than I used to. But, and a big BUT, if there is something I want, I will have it. I can't deny myself anything but can have everything in moderation. You have to learn to control the overeating but if you deny what you truly want then you up the chance of losing control. Control is the point of the surgery in my opinion. Taking control of my life and my eating can lead me to many new possibilities.

April 25, 2010

4

16 days until pre-op diet

I have 16 more days until my one week pre-op diet. I am getting so close and so nervous. I start pre-op diet on the 5th, I have pre-op testing on the 5th and band date is the 12th. I am officially down 10.5 pounds. I have slowed down quite a bit. At least I am not gaining. Of course all scales are different. I found in the grocery store (Kroger) in the health food section a wide selection of pureed soups in cartons with screw on caps. There were I think about 10 different varieties. They are a little pricey since they are organic but I may have to give it a whirl. I plan on making homemade chicken noodle soup and puree it and then strain it. Nothing is better than homemade. I also thought about doing the same for vegetable. I have designated a shelf in the fridge for just me. I have one whole cabinet that is just for my stuff so my mongrel family doesn't dip into it. I drank the Special K protein water, pink lemonade and it was pretty good. It has 5g of protein and 5g of fiber. Can't beat that. I am stocking up when they go on sale. They are a little pricey too. I think it was $4.29 for a box of 7 packets. That is 61 cents a bottle of water. Not bad if you think about it. Not any worse then a soft drink but certainly healthier. I am one step closer to my new life...

April 20, 2010

3

1 month until "B"-day. Band date 05-12-10

The countdown commences. The skeptics come out. The rude comments continue. The supports are there but not in as large of numbers as before. The question that is on everyone's mind is "Will I succeed or will I fail?" Hmmm...dare I prove them wrong? YES I DARE!! There are a lot of things I have given up on in my life because the going got too tough. Well, this is an investment in my life. A very hefty investment. I am self pay and with that means I will bear the success and the failure heavily. More incentive to succeed. To use my tool to its fullest potential is a priority. Do I have fears? Yes. Do I have second thoughts? Yes. Do I think there will be times that I fail? Yes but I sure hope not. I am going into this with my eyes wide open to all possibilities. This is probably the hardest thing I will ever do next to child birth and raising 4 kids and raising teenagers. :thumbup: This is the best support site I have come across. There is more compassion and support than I could have hoped for. I have gotten tons of tips and advice here. I have received valuable insight into what to expect and what could happen. It is good to be in the know. I feel very prepared. No one is preaching to me or at me. It is like we are all lifelong friends. I think it is because we are all on the same lifelong journey together. We are each other's lifeline. I am looking forward to sharing each leg of my journey with you and hopefully my experience will help others as I have been helped. 30 more days!!!

April 13, 2010

5

The Dreaded Taco Meat

Taco Meat is my enemy!! I love to make tacos at home. I usually put my taco meat on baked scoops. Well I have been craving the heck out of them for weeks so I made it the other night and proceeded to PIG OUT on it. I was miserable but my craving was gone. Or so I thought. There were these leftovers in the fridge...Day 2 of the Taco Meat invasion. And then I was miserable AGAIN! I guess I need to start of a list of NO NOs for food in the house. I'm not sure I can make that again and not try to pig out on it. Of course after the band that would not be a good thing but I don't want to even take the chance. I don't know what it is about this meal but all my other favs that I decided to have in moderation before surgery have been, just that, in moderation. All except for taco meat. Frankly, if I had some I would eat it now and it is 9:30 in the morning. Is it just me? Does everyone have this meal or food that just drives them to inhale the food like it is the air that we breathe?

April 10, 2010

2

A good day...down 2

I weighed myself today and I am down another 2 lbs. for a total of 10 lbs. I feel good about that. The biggest change has been no soft drinks. I drink flavored water only. I am making more healthy choices. Not always but mostly. I was really craving tacos. Well taco meat that I put on baked scoops. I finally made it tonight and it was ALOT. I am stuffed and miserable but my craving is gone. I had a protein shake for breakfast and smoked chicken for lunch. I still haven't gotten this whole eating without drinking. That I guess is my next task to master. It's hard to imagine not drinking while I eat. I get so thirsty. I try to have one protein shake per day instead of a meal. Breakfast is the easiest for me. I do trade off and occasionally have an egg for breakfast. Protein, protein, protein. Protein and low carb. Got to get into the habit now. I found a food journal on bariatriceating.com and a few good recipes but was confused. Some of the recipes had 12g of FAT per serving. I expected it to be less fattening. I started a binder for my food journals and recipes collections. Getting it together a little a time. BAND DATE 5-12-10:thumbup:

April 8, 2010

4

Words cut like a knife

Why is it that people think when you are doing something life altering that they have an automatic right to speak their mind? I just can't imagine opening my big trap and blurting out things that I know would hurt and then be shocked when it does. This morning my Dad said very hurtful things to me. Even when it was pointed out that it was mean and hurtful he argued, to the point of yelling, that it was not hurtful but true. At first I thought people at work were supportative but now those fake supporters have been talking about me behind my back. They say I am just lazy and taking the easy road out. They say I am going to fail again. The surgery won't help. They know people that it didn't work. Well did they know whether or not the person actually followed the many guidelines? I only ask that you don't assume anything about me because you obviously don't know me. I wonder, are you talking about me because you are jealous that I have the guts to say YES I NEED HELP and I am taking this giant leap forward? Don't judge me. I do this for me not you so stop making this about you and your obsessive negativity. :thumbup:

April 6, 2010

12

New Group--Banded in Kentucky

I started a new group called "Banded in Kentucky." If you live in Kentucky please consider joining the group. Support is key. Sometimes hearing from those nearby that are going through the same experiences you are helps just a little more. Maybe find new friends who will be your lifelong friends. After all, we have a special "band" well bond.

April 4, 2010

6

Had a bad food day

I was really on track when I thought that I would get an April band date. Now that it is in May I have fallen off the "band wagon". Today I just wanted to eat. I don't know why after nearly a month of eating well and replacing one meal with a high protein shake, that I didn't want any of that today. I don't want to get back into this habit. I lost a few pounds and now I am afraid I will put it back on. I think mentally I know I have more time before surgery so why start now?? I can feel my motivation slipping away. All evening all keep thinking about is taco meat. Just taco meat. Weird!:thumbup:

March 30, 2010

1

46 Days and counting--Advice welcome

Ok, if I counted correct I am 46 days out from my day of destiny. I am looking for advice on how to prepare. I am getting together a list of "To Do". So here is what I have so far. 1. Get exercise room ready. I am painting a spare bedroom and turning it into my exercise room because let's face it, this bod is not going out to sweat in public. Treadmill and ellipitcal awaits me. 2. Trying different protein flavors and concoctions to find what I like and stock up. I already replace one meal a day with a protein shake. 3. Make and freeze homemade broth. 4. Stock up on Vitamin Water Zero Please help me finish my list.

March 27, 2010

2

My new Addiction

:tt2:I am addicted to Vitamin Water ZERO. I love this stuff! I had one of these about 2 weeks ago and haven't had a soda since. Grape and Lemonade are great. Berry Berry is okay. I wish my stores had the Essential one. It is like Tang. It is made with Stevia. It seems real sweet at first but then it grows on you. I really love it.

March 27, 2010

1

Got my band date 05/12/2010

:thumbup:I went to my surgeon's consult today and got my surgery date of May 12th. They had earlier dates, as early as April 12th but it didn't work with my husband's work schedule so May it is. I think I am happier it is in May. It gives me more time to get all my ducks in a row. I can make sure everything is ready. I did find out that I have to give myself injections of Lovenox in the stomach after surgery due to a blood clotting disorder I have. I REALLY am not looking forward to that. I just hope I can do it. My family is squeemish so I can't have them help me. They can't stand to see me test my blood sugar. The good news is I lost 6 pounds. I don't have to do a two week liquid diet. Only one week. Right now I am replacing one meal with a protein shake so I think I will continue that. I am getting excited. It is really happening now. :blushing:

March 26, 2010

3

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