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More Fluid Out of The Band

Unfortunately, I've returned to having discomfort after several bites of greek yogurt so my PA took 1cc out of the band - and ahh...no more pain. My labs and counts were all good, but my A1C is still a little over 7%, so I remain on my meds. Because of the issues I've been having, I have to have an upper GI series... At this point all I can say is at least I'm not gaining!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Group Dynamics

Attended a support group meeting with a friend. There were about 80 people there and not surprising most were quite obese. What got us was when we went around the room with everyone giving their surgery date/weight loss etc and it turned out that most of the people there were a year plus out - and hadn't lost much weight or had reached a plateau. Sadly, the people running the meeting (surgeon's group)had no valuable input to give beyond the same old "60-80grams of Protein!, Exercise!, Eat Less!" Equally troubling - the number of attendees who'd had the procedure yet had no clue about proper nutrition, the presenter when fielding a question from a diabetic patient who commented that because she'd had the procedure she, "couldn't still be a diabetic...next question!..." and the push to go back on Medifast(which they sell - Buy some NOW!) when you reach a plateau. I get more from this site and my NUT - thank God my doctor had the sense to hook me up with the right person!:smile:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The Fourth Fill

Had #4 on Friday and the experience was par for the course. My appointment was @ 9:30am...I was still waiting at 11:30am along with a fairly crowded waiting room. True brilliance on the part of the scheduling department - only one NP on duty. Many interesting conversations in the waiting room and nice to know I'm not the only one who is hungry all the time and wondering when they're going to get "there". Think we were all a bit taken aback when the NP came out to call someone back and was advised in passing that the doctor had slipped an additional patient into the NP's schedule. Her mini-me meltdown of shrieking, "Where does she think I'm going to find room in my schedule - I'm already booked solid?!!?" made me want to re-schedule then and there! My own fill, while unremarkable(quick; not painful; no backwash) was confusing? disappointing? left me in the dark? I thought after the last fill I had 5.5cc in the band. That was based on this same NP telling me she put 1.5cc in at the last fill. I told her I'm hungry an hour after eating and my loud howling stomach during meetings was getting annoying, so she told me I definitely need a fill(ya think?) and advised that she wouldn't be as aggressive as last time...so she put .6cc in and told me I now have 4.8cc in my band. Huh? So instead of the 1.5cc Fill #3 I actually got .2cc and that's aggressive? When questioned I couldn't get a straight answer - of course I can do the math, but I'd like to know accurately how much is in there. Does explain why I've been so hungry and why- BIG SURPRISE - two hours after eating this morning, I'm hungry AGAIN! Next fill is 8/25 - unless I get bold and try to get in in about two weeks....:closedeyes:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Things to Be Thankful For

...and it ain't the fabulous restriction provided by my first fill. Stuck to the clear liquids for 24 hours following my fill and was extremely hungry - in fact when I go too long without eating something real, I get a migraine - so by Thursday morning I was ready to kick some serious a-- ...made it through most of the day on broth and shakes but by that night I was on to mashed potatos and beans. Now it's 2 days since my fill and I am back on regular food, have no restriction and am hungry less than two hours after eating - and I can eat well over a cup with no PB. This is strange as I had PB situations prior to the fill. The PA who did my fill said the band was really, "sucking up" the saline. Call me crazy, but I'm wondering if my band is defective - I shouldn't be feeling LESS restriction than before the fill - Right? I am thankful that my Vanguard fund is bouncing back after the low point in 2008 and my "spring line" for the local artist venue sold out...and I haven't gained any weight...nor have I lost. :tongue_smilie:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

New Drawers!

So - I'm down from a size 24/26 to around an 18/20 and my underwear was just too big, so I had to go buy some new big girl panties. The experience, though a positive (smaller size) was some what daunting. Why? Well, all the winter clearance sales are going on and there are some sweet deals but as I cruised the racks I realized that by this time next year I have no idea what size I might be. Will I have lost significant weight or just a couple of sizes? So I comfort myself by remembering that I've spent the past 10 years getting to be this big all while continuing my career so whew - I'm covered...I have clothes of all sizes! That is until I remember that a few years ago in a fit of "let's get real - you'll never be anything but a 3x " I donated all those clothes to Dress for Success. What's the problem? Even years ago when I was an 8/10 I HATED shopping and still do. Over the years I've built a wardrobe of quality classics - "investment pieces" so that at most I buy a new item or two with the emphasis on that which always fits - Shoes & Purses. Now I'm going to have to see just how much my tailor can alter what I've got and push myself into the dreaded - FITTING ROOM w/ MIRRORS:eek:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

No More Ms. Nice Girl or Just A Feel Good Rant?!

Sometimes my friends and family make me want to scream, but being a "Nice Girl" I force a polite smile on my face and role with it.   Today I'm just putting it out there because its better than screaming and scaring the you-know-what out of the dog!   Sister-in-law #1 aka "Jabber Jaws". I'd have thought that after my husband, her brother, Mr. Calm-Cool & Collected got pissed off when she spoiled the surprise of our moving into the area(hence de-railing the big party we'd planned) that she'd have learned her lesson? Apparently not as she had to tell simply everyone that I'd had a hysterctomy after I specifically asked her not to.   I guess telling her that this was a "personal journey" wasn't clear enough or perhaps it just didn't matter to her. Imagine my surprise when not half an hour after I'd confided in her, my mother-in-law called to offer her opinion i.e., "I just heard from Lisa...if you just tried a little harder...".   Since then, people she's blabbed to are coming out of the wood work. People who are merely acquaintences are calling for the details. Some friend of hers from downstate called and told my my s-i-l had been, "keeping her in the loop" re; my ongoing "saga". Are you kidding me?! Gee - how long until the local paper or news team arrives at the door? How weird is it that a friend of my husband heard about my surgery from his mother who heard it from the postman(no lie). :eek: The flip side of this is the pseudo concerned - Sister-in-law #2. We see this side of the family once or twice a year. They mostly hang with her people and tend to look down their noses at our side of the family as we aren't of the same political views. S-i-l #2 called yesterday: "I heard you had surgery!" (me) "Yes" "So you're doing okay? No one tells me anything!" (me)"I'm fine..." (don't even get to finish what I'm saying when S-i-l #2 cuts me off to, as usual, talk about herself and her family..."It's a shame it had to come to this. Oh well, we're having a great time down in VA...Bob is going to run a marathon, and Billy is at Lacrosse camp and all I do is shop and ...Okay - talk to you later - Bye". What the hell was the point of this call - so you can say you've done your duty? I've been married to my husband for over 15 years and I have yet to attend a family function where these people have ever let someone finish talking or expressed any real interest in what's going on in anyone else's life:eek:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Dining Out

We've been roped into a family dinner celebration at a very pricey and intimate restaurant tonight. This will be the first time I've eaten out since the operation and my stomach is already roiling in anticipation. I'd have prefered my first meal out to be somewhere noisy and crowded so that if I need to make a quick trip to the restroom, it won't be so obvious...think I'll have a protein shake before we leave and just pick at an appetizer....

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

More CPAP Thoughts

Drowsydad makes a good point about possible positives. Following the last adventure at the (No) Sleep Lab I did some research on CPAP and found out a number of interesting points:   1) Your nose and face are supposed to be measured...nostril type/width, nasal depth, length, eye to nose ratio. Masks come in different sizes based on gender and even age - there's even equipment for kids. No one at Jurassic Sleep Lab measured me for fit.   2) Feelings of confinement are quite common even for people without recognized "claustrophobia" present in other situations.   3) Compliance beyond 3 months is poor. Perhaps that's why the machines and masks are so expensive.   4) There are BiPap machines available which drop the level of "push" on exhalation so it doesn't feel like the machine is trying to breath for you.   5) There are alternatives to the full face mask and the nasal octopus:laugh: - like the nasal prong...   I'll try to keep an open mind.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Meeting with the NUT

...not the one affiliated with my surgeon's practice. Got some concrete instructions, calorie goals and a framework which will hopefully get me moving in the right direction. Still seeking a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and child abuse as I realize that's the true root of my problem.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The No-Progress Zone

Lost 10 pounds the first week after surgery; lost 31 in the three months prior. Have gained four pounds; then dropped two. My husband asked me what the point of the surgery was, since it was my own efforts that made the most significant change? Good Question. I have no restriction, and can eat normal foods, although the oddest things make me queasy - today it was two pretzels I ate as a precurser to my Oracea. The first fill is next week...I haven't been doing as well as I should with my protein shakes, so I actually had to force myself to work in a few extras yesterday which helped on the scale. A lot of the time I'm not hungry, so I find myself going too long between meals and then being ravenous.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

CPAP Crap

Drove 45 minutes through a driving rain/snow mix to my mandatory CPAP fitting/sleep study. Dutifully put on my PJ's at 7pm and had wires attached to my scalp with what looked like balls of lard. Add to this 2 EKG moniters, an elastic sensor belt around my chest and another on my waist, moniters on each leg and a pulse-ox moniter on my finger. Gee - don't I feel snoozy? Then put me in a too warm room(again) where the hospital's over head central heat system sounds like the runway at JFK and hook up a miniature torture device complete with a built in bubbling humidifier - the CPAP. Started out with one that covered my entire nose attached with straps around my head. It felt like an octopus was attached to my face. Not good for a claustrophobic like me. I tossed and turned for a good 2 hours before begging them to take it off. I was feeling stressed out, heart racing and panicky. A trip to the bathroom revealed a big red ring around my nose. The nurse insisted that because I was doing this for surgery I had to put it or an alternative back on. The alternative - what looked like two mini button mushrooms; one in each nostril. Again strapped to my head - this thing was pushing air up my nose to the point it felt like it was breathing for me. Attempt to open your mouth or pull it a bit away from you face to adjust it and it clamped on like an alien life form. Laid awake for another three hours before asking to get up to use the bathroom. Since it was 5am the nurse said I could just go ahead and get up - she'd unwire me. I asked her if she got what she needed and she said that she hadn't since I didn't sleep. I apologized, but I am a serious life-long light sleeper who needs a cool, dark room and quiet. I asked if this would hold up my surgery - she told me I'd have to discuss this with my doctor. Odd thing is - earlier in the evening I asked her if everyone having elective surgery has to go to sleep lab. She told me that it's pretty much standard that all bariactric patients go...Interesting, considering I have no markers for sleep apnea. Does make me question how much of this testing it just wheel spinning and profit driven.:smile:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The Nick of Time

(Making up for not blogging for a few days) I realize just how lucky I am to have had my procedure before health care reform really kicks in as who knows what might be "excluded" down the road. Plus, as a result of all the pre-surgical testing I've been checked from head to toe and found to be in excellent health despite my weight and Type II diabetes. I consider myself very lucky that if I am able to tackle the weight problem, I can likely avoid the heart disease, stroke and osteoarthritus history prevalent in my family, and perhaps a recurrence of my breast cancer. Three weeks post-surgery and my doc has reduced my Metformin to once a day and my testing reveals BG within normal(non-diabetic) values - Yea!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Conflicting Info

From the beginning, I've been getting a different story from the various members of my Bariatric team. Yesterday I had my first post-op visit. I thought it would be the surgeon, but instead it was a nurse. Now, two weeks after surgery they tell me not to twist at the waist as I might get a muscle spasm(yes, thanks - did that the other night in bed), that for the first week after surgery I was to eat 2 tbsp at each meal(Pre-surgery it was 1/4 -1/2 cup), that I should not drink while eating and for an hour after(Pre-surgery it was no liquid 30 min before and 45 min after), no fresh veggies or fruit for 4 months(Pre-sugery it was 5 weeks) I'm getting so mired in the rules that it's almost easier not to eat!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Day Before Surgery

Began the pre-surgery prep yesterday with my last(yea!) Medifast shake and a shower using Dial(anti-bacterial - required). Boy does that soap make my skin itch. Also had to take MOM but was smart and took it in the AM so I wasn't up until the wee hours going. My husband cooked me a steak for dinner last night - probably the last I'll have for quite some time.   Today it's clear liquid only. Exciting breakfast of coffee and orange sugar free jello and an ice pop - Mmm..Chewing gum helps keep me from putting anything real in my pie-hole. Almost time to take more MOM in prep for giving myself and enema tonight. Who-hoo big fun!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Post Surgical Follow Up

Wow - it really blew me away - the sheer number of people in the waiting room for post-surgical follow up, but I guess if they're doing 5-6 a day, 6 days a week it makes sense.   Healing okay - first fill will be 4/14. Getting real tired of puree. Nurse was running an hour behind schedule so by the time I got out of there, I'd driven an hour down, been in the office for two and a half hours and face a rush hour drive home. I was starving! Went to McDonalds and got a small coffee, small fry and a snack wrap. Coffee and fries went down okay - snack wrap made a grand reappearance. Definitely a learning experience!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Insurance and the Psycho PsyD

Still no adjustment to my claims re; the PsyD I had to pay out-of-pocket, so I called BCBS for a status report. Oops - It was "bumped back" for lack of a service date. "That's odd?", I said - "It's right there in the invoice...". After sending me an email telling me their going to give me full credit toward my deductible for this out-of-pocket payment, now they're telling me that since claims have already been posted and attributed toward my deductible, the PsyD has to submit the claim, reimburse me and wait for the EOB to see what if anything she can bill me. Apparently BCBS left a lengthy message for the PsyD today...a week after I call in the incident. Want to guess how long this is going to take?:smile:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

BiPap Update

I have to admit that I was wrong - while my "Sleep Apnea" quiz indicated I wasn't likely to have SA, the actual test yielded some surprising results. I probably would've grasped the reality better if my pulmonologist had called me with the results of the initial test(2/18). Instead, I got the full picture today(plus copies of both test results) from the Lincare respitory therapist. I only had one incident of obstructive apnea, but 161 hypopneas(shallow breathing) resulting in a drop in my blood oxygen level which means that even though I get a full night's sleep, my oxygen level dips too low, so I'm not sleeping as deeply as I could. So, I've got the BiPap and I wore it today while reading. It was okay - we'll see what happens tonight.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Good Info & Good Eats

As anyone who reads my blog can guess, I love to read. Working my way through Before & After by Susan Maria Leach. When you get past some of her waxing poetic about her wonderful life and how magic everything is now that she's lost weight, there's some substantially good info - like how to figure out your protein needs. There are also some great recipes. Someone in my local support group recommended BariatricEating.com which is Ms. Leach's company. I got the book when I ordered some product samples. Here's a shameless plug - the IsoPure Grape Frost is great as is the Believe Italian Cappuccino!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Anxiety Attack

I make no secret about being claustrophobic and it's no secret that many people with claustrophobia have other anxiety issues. My first ever anxiety attack was five years ago when I was juggling a 70 hr a week job, and coordinating a 1,000 mile move for my husband and I. It happened at night - my husband was away on business. I was sitting on the couch and suddenly felt my heart pounding and like I just wanted to run...out of the house and into the dark. It passed but several days later I was working at my desk(at home - I telecommute) and it happened again. I took my BP - 150/120! I called my doctor thinking I was having a heart attack. An EKG and blood test were fine so the doctor gave me a couple of RX anti-anxiety meds and I slept for two days. The anxiety only manifests itself now when faced with closed spaces like MRI's. It tweeks me a bit for things like CT scans and really pinched for the whole CPAP event. I had a minor "attack" last night while watching TV and it's almost embarassing to recount. A Taco Bell commercial came on and I thought to myself, "I'll never be able to eat a burrito again let again a whole one..." This segued into thoughts of blockage, of no solid food, of the foreign object in my body. No, it wasn't a full blown attack - I can usually distract myself from that, but it sucks how weak willed it makes me feel. Like I haven't got my sh-- together.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Bad Case of The Mondays

WTF! got up in the middle of the night(as usual) to use the bathroom. Without thinking, got a drink of water and drank it as I did before I had the surgery. Guess what - no restriction, no back wash??!   Healing fairly quickly and enough swelling has gone down to be able to tell that my port appears to be in the center of my abdomen? Since my surgeon uses both the Lap-Band and the Realize Band I left the decision as to which to use to her - she's the expert.   Apparently I have a 11cc Realize Band...

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Low Level Panic Attack

Today while getting dressed, I bumped the area where I think the port is - won't actually know until Monday's post surgical follow up. Man did that ever hurt. I started thinking about this foreign body inside me and starting thinking weird thoughts like...what if I go nuts and yank this thing out?...what if I freak out and jump in my car and drive to the doctor's and beg to have it removed...I got all sweaty and had to get a drink of ice water and go outside to clear my head. Perhaps it's just a case of sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Sleep Lab Part Deux

What a surprise - despite no hallmarks for sleep apnea I was forced to go to the sleep lab and attempt to sleep in a hot room with two loud fans and wires all over my head and face plus two tight elastic bands across my chest. Now I have to go back to be fitted for a CPAP(cha-ching$$$). I keep hearing this scenario from other patients - that it's almost pre-decided you have sleep apnea...:rolleyes2:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Survivor to Thriver

My whole GB experience has made me more mindful of the "why" behind my complusive overeating(binging) - my abusive childhood. While I'm still searching for a local therapist to work with one-on-one, I found the Adult Survivors of Child Abuse website and a promising self-help workbook(downloadable for free from their site) titled Survivor to Thriver. I'm facing the fact that regardless of dietary changes, and my new "tool", until I address what's driving my "drive" to eat, my success may be limited.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

It's Working!

Yes! Between my dietary counsel from my NUT and the band, the scale has finally started moving and even with just 4cc in my 11cc band I can sense when I'm full. Was actually able to enjoy a modest meal of Chinese take-out last night. What's working for me is not neccessarily the standard "3 meals - no snacks" approach. My NUT has me on a meal plan structured for me which includes real foods(inc veggies and salad), carbs(limited - not zero) and an 8oz glass of moo juice(skim) half an hour after each meal. I use it to take my vitamins. My NUT gives me lots of reading material the latest being the Journal of the American Dietetic Association - April 2010 edition (Understanding the Impact of Bariatric Surgery). One over reaching theme of everything I've read is that there is no hard and fast rule on post procedure nutrition/meal planning and the ADA is trying to nail down specific recs to be made. That said - this works for me and it feels like it's a good mesh(for now) of proper nutrition, willpower and the band.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Going for Broke on the Laugh Track

My 25-year-old niece just called to see how I'm doing. She tells me she expects to see me in a bathing suit this summer. Laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Really - when you weight 283 at your highest, regardless of how much weight I lose, the end product is a saggy Sharpei in a swimsuit. I may be healthy at the end of this, but I ain't going to be a looker.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

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