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Shock & Awe?!

So...big church BBQ last weekend. Lots of family and friends including one who had the LapBand last fall...and has lost 85+ pounds...SINCE the procedure i.e., not including what this person lost in prep for surgery. There were whispers and it wasn't good as this rapid weight loss coupled with this individual's love of tanning beds has resulted in a look that someone described(unkindly but accurate) as a "...cross between a dried prune and a boneless walnut.."! Couple this with this bandster's free admission(but not to their doctor or surgeon) that they often going on nothing but a cereal bar and some yogurt as a once daily meal...oh, and they've been in the ER twice in the past two months for illnesses directly related to improper nutrition/hydration, and a very different face of this potentially helpful procedure emerges. It also put me in the hot seat as some wanted to question why I haven't lost as much(in 4 months - are you serious?) and why don't I look "sick" like X. If seeing the other side of this journey wasn't enough, I was blown away when my fellow bandster announced that after the last trip to the ER, a call was placed to the bariatric facility. Apparently the bariatric facility didn't feel that the ER doc(at a major medical center doing angioplasty, stroke intervention, chemo using ports...) was "qualified" to remove fluid from the band. So - rather than sending a nurse or PA to the hospital or arranging to meet the patient at their PCP's office, a NP met the patient at a convenience store and withdrew all the fluid in the band in the parking lot...and told the patient they'd lost too much weight!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Wow - What A Difference 50 Pounds Makes

At my highest I was 283 - now I'm 235...almost 50 pounds off. What really brought it home to me was went I took my five-year-old niece to the beach last weekend. Any one who has a small child knows that after a long day of play, with no nap, "cranky" makes PMS look like a walk in the park. So, when my niece whines, "Aunt Jill my legs hurt when I'm walking(chafing in a wet bathing suit)!" I had no choice but to pick her up and carry all 45+/- pound of little girl to the car. That is a lot to lug! That was what I was dragging around with me for the past seven years. No wonder my back no longer aches and my feet don't bother me and I can actually walk from my office to the downtown area for lunch. No - I'm not "thin" - yet - but I'm slowly but surely on my way.:smile2:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Poison Ivy!

So - having more energy can be dangerous! Got it into my head to clear some brush to increase the size of my landscape project. Out I go with my 1" lopers - chop,chop, chop(great stress reliever). I create a giant mound of limbs and brush before going off to help my husband with a building project. At the end of a long day I take a shower, feeling pretty good about my boundless energy. Two days later I'm covered in weeping poison ivy rashes - and I mean covered! That other weight loss positive - looser clothes - meant that as I worked, I was hitching up my pants, tucking my shirt in...so in addition to the sweaty ear I scratched(now big,itchy and red), I have a ring of rash around my waist, one boob with a similiar effect plus my arms and legs which look like I was in a battle for my life against some sort of clawed animal.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Survivor to Thriver

My whole GB experience has made me more mindful of the "why" behind my complusive overeating(binging) - my abusive childhood. While I'm still searching for a local therapist to work with one-on-one, I found the Adult Survivors of Child Abuse website and a promising self-help workbook(downloadable for free from their site) titled Survivor to Thriver. I'm facing the fact that regardless of dietary changes, and my new "tool", until I address what's driving my "drive" to eat, my success may be limited.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Group Dynamics

Attended a support group meeting with a friend. There were about 80 people there and not surprising most were quite obese. What got us was when we went around the room with everyone giving their surgery date/weight loss etc and it turned out that most of the people there were a year plus out - and hadn't lost much weight or had reached a plateau. Sadly, the people running the meeting (surgeon's group)had no valuable input to give beyond the same old "60-80grams of Protein!, Exercise!, Eat Less!" Equally troubling - the number of attendees who'd had the procedure yet had no clue about proper nutrition, the presenter when fielding a question from a diabetic patient who commented that because she'd had the procedure she, "couldn't still be a diabetic...next question!..." and the push to go back on Medifast(which they sell - Buy some NOW!) when you reach a plateau. I get more from this site and my NUT - thank God my doctor had the sense to hook me up with the right person!:smile:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Meeting with the NUT

...not the one affiliated with my surgeon's practice. Got some concrete instructions, calorie goals and a framework which will hopefully get me moving in the right direction. Still seeking a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and child abuse as I realize that's the true root of my problem.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Yet Another Failure?

It's been over a month since I've seen any weight loss. I remain at 241 regardless of how much or how little I eat. I'm still hungry an hour or so after eating and can only hold out for so long. Prior to deciding to go with gastric banding, I reach a peak weight of 283. I was able to get down to 253 on my own, but the only time I was able to get lower was when I couldn't eat for several weeks due to a severe sinus/ear infection. It feels like it's happening again - I've reached a set point and my body is not going to let go. I guess this harkens back to the severely restricted momma mandated diets of my youth. I'm seeing my NUT today - hopefully she'll have some insight. Guess I should've gone for the GB after all.:biggrin:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Dining Out

We've been roped into a family dinner celebration at a very pricey and intimate restaurant tonight. This will be the first time I've eaten out since the operation and my stomach is already roiling in anticipation. I'd have prefered my first meal out to be somewhere noisy and crowded so that if I need to make a quick trip to the restroom, it won't be so obvious...think I'll have a protein shake before we leave and just pick at an appetizer....

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The First Fill

Arrived 10 minutes late for my 10:45am appt and thought they'd have to reschedule - but as usual they're running late and I sit for another half hour - guess it's a good thing my afternoon was free.   The nurse took me back and got me on the scale - then the PA came in to do the fill. He was really nice and it was painless - 2.5cc.   What was really interesting is that I go back in another two weeks for another fill and apparently every two weeks until... The PA told me the first three fills are "no charge" - Gee for close to 30K they ought to be free!   Clear liquids today, so I have a raging "no food" headache, but I found that these "test tubes" of liquid protein (100 cal/0 carb/0 fat/25g protein) while not tasty did do the trick.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Good Recipe Idea...or not?

Thought of a great way to get my veggies and breakfast out of the way: * 1 cup Low Sodium V8 * 1 pkt Veggie Powder * 2 scoops of Vitamin World Non-Soy Veggie Protein Powder * Horseradish/Worchestershire Sauce to taste   Ta Da! "Veggie Mary"!   Great idea until I added the Vitamin World product...turned gritty with an awful flavor. I've tried this stuff in various hot and cold applications - supposed to be flavorless - WRONG - it is awful regardless. I'm going to try this again tomorrow using Bariatric Eating's "Pure" and see if it's any better.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Veggie Mary Update

Made the Veggie Mary this morning with the Bariatric Eating "Pure" unflavored protein product and added a little garlic and pepper - very good. Even tasted the powder by itself - NO FLAVOR! Will order some today - my quest is over!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Things to Be Thankful For

...and it ain't the fabulous restriction provided by my first fill. Stuck to the clear liquids for 24 hours following my fill and was extremely hungry - in fact when I go too long without eating something real, I get a migraine - so by Thursday morning I was ready to kick some serious a-- ...made it through most of the day on broth and shakes but by that night I was on to mashed potatos and beans. Now it's 2 days since my fill and I am back on regular food, have no restriction and am hungry less than two hours after eating - and I can eat well over a cup with no PB. This is strange as I had PB situations prior to the fill. The PA who did my fill said the band was really, "sucking up" the saline. Call me crazy, but I'm wondering if my band is defective - I shouldn't be feeling LESS restriction than before the fill - Right? I am thankful that my Vanguard fund is bouncing back after the low point in 2008 and my "spring line" for the local artist venue sold out...and I haven't gained any weight...nor have I lost. :tongue_smilie:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The Apple Don't Fall Far From the Tree?

*Warning - A totally non-WLS rant posted because it's my blog and I'll post what I want to:tt2:   My s-i-l hates to drive at night, so I'll be trucking down to the city to pick up my college age niece. Apparently she has a medical issue which she could've had taken care of at her university health center, but when her mother(my s-i-l) suggested this, my niece had a meltdown and demanded Momma make her an appt at home and fly her in. What a surprise! Momma does what baby wants. She may be 19, but emotionally more like 15...like her group of college friends who hang out together living a "high school but away from home" type of lifestyle. 20-some years ago when I was in college, we were a lot more mature and aware of key world issues. The effect of helicopter parents?! It's scary when my niece tells me she doesn't like kids but wants to teach 'cause she'll get lots of time off. Wow - just who I want educating the future!   Back to the "Apple" topic - my niece is now upset because her mother told the doctor about the problem when she made the appt. Apparently, my niece wanted her to just say that it's for a "check up" (& no - this is not a woman issue)! My s-i-l (rightly so) told her that the doctor needs to know the real reason so as not to waste time. S-i-l wonders what her baby is thinking?!!   RU kidding? Here's where it "falls from the tree"...my s-i-l is a DM2 who tries to deny it. It took 3 years of warnings of pre-diabetes and then 6 mos after diagnosis to get her on oral meds. She's still not testing and tries to "trick" her labs by fasting for several days prior or eating "healthy" the week before. Of course, the numbers are still bad because she's non-compliant and hasn't educated herself. She calls me post doctor visit to report that the doctor wants her on more "meds" because her "numbers are bad" and she feels he's probably getting paid by the pharmacutical companies to give her more "stuff". So I say - "Could be - what new meds does he want? what were your labs?". She says..wait for it.... "I dunno - I wasn't paying attention!". Excuse me? What is more personal than a visit to your doctor - how can you not pay attention when it's your health?? This then leads to a conversation we've had before of how her health plan works and me telling her again to print me a copy and I'll review it...which she forgets - as usual. I guess I'm not too surprised as this is some one who wishes she were back in high school, doesn't read the paper or watch the news, and threw a fit when her boss told her she was going to have to take some tech classes - started crying and shouting that she "didn't want to learn anything new!" I'm actually fond of my s-i-l as apart from the tendency to gossip she is a very kind and non-judgmental person(wish I could be more like that) - but I often feel like I'm dealing with a child.   Not surprising - her mother (my m-i-l) is the same way. No, she doesn't want to go back to high school - instead she's fiercely independent...sort of. She's moderately more aware of what's going on in the world, but so flightly she only grasps half the story. When she doesn't get her own way - or doesn't get buy-in from the "fam" she just goes off and does whatever she wants then let's the rest of us pick up the pieces, the tab...whatever. When it comes to medical issues - see above. She takes whatever scripts the doctor writes but doesn't know why..."I'm not going to take this Liptor anymore - I don't feel any different...". She's still seeing this ancient doc-in-box who treated her mother. She nixed her prior doc because the doctor did an Alzheimer's test on her and was concerned enough to contact my s-i-l. Par for course, my m-i-l wanted my s-i-l to keep it a secret - Right! Her driving skills have always been sub-par and now they're even worse. Sunday night was a classic - when after two glasses of wine she was red-eyed, staggering and slurring but refused to give up her keys or let someone else drive her home and my s-i-l tells me, "She's not drunk - I'd know!"(sorta like, "She doesn't have memory issues - I'd know!") I'm torn between making a confidential call to the DMV before she hurts someone or herself or just stepping back and letting her kids take responsibility. Sigh - good to vent and hope it gives my readers a laugh; I'm sure plenty of you are in the boat.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Loathing

How awful is it to absolutely loath a fellow bandster? I really enjoy reading everyone's comments and get a lot of useful info, but there's one community member whose self-satisified, Holier-than-Thou, preachy lectures make me want to scream. That vague school-marmish tone directed at fellow bandsters who've slipped on dietary rules. That "maybe you should question why you have the band" finger wag. What -because you slipped you should get your butt to the doctor and have him take it out because you're just not committed enough?! Everytime I read this bandster's comments I cringe - esp for the person who originally put the question out there looking for positive support and not a smarmy lecture. Even my husband read few of this bandster's posts and had to laugh - his comment is apt - "Get Over Yourself!"!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Family Gathering Miracle

Went shopping with the s-i-l on Saturday and no comments about my weight etc. Victory! Except for a question about whether or not I can eat asparagus as I was invited to a "cook out" at her house on Sunday...   What a surprise to arrive at my s-i-l's on Sunday to find a variable crowd of people there including my hardly ever seen b-i-l and his wife. Gee - on Saturday is was just me, s-i-l, and my three nieces. Kinda felt like I was being paraded out like a trick pony! Even more interesting - not a word from anyone re; the surgery/weight loss - but you should've heard the tongues wagging whenever I left the room and seen them checking out my plate! I managed a well-chewed half of a burger, a teaspoon each of beans and pasta salad and two asparagus spears. Hey - whatever as long as the endless comments stop. I have no doubt the phone lines are burning up today and it was par for the course to hear my b-i-l comment as they were leaving, "Jill looks like the same fat-ass as ever!" Sweet - good times!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Baby Talk?

This is a big "yuck" for me and I'm noticing it more and more - women who are either obese or have had WLS and are in the losing process or at their optimal weight - who insist on using infantile behavior, verbalizations or facial gestures. My latest support group meeting had a fine representation of this...and I'm spelling this as it sounded so my readers can get the vibe: - "I ate too much yesterday and I'm a aufwade my widdle pouch got stretched!" - "I've sooo much weight my pants are too big!" (Lower lip stuck out and shoulder shrug - not unlike my 5-yr-old niece) - "You people just don't understand - foot stomp - I can't resist ice cream and my husband ate it in front of me so I told him "I hate you!" and I ran to the bathroom in tears!"   I've also noticed it on TV too - Ruby - God bless her for her courage but really - do you have to hang all over your guy friends whining and trying to get them to focus only on you? Are you that insecure?   I don't see big guys doing this so I wonder - is it a coping mechanism? Sort of like - "Yeah - I'm severely over weight so to make you either like me or feel sorry for me, I'm going to act like a cutesy little girl!" It's not cute when Pamela Anderson pulls that crap on Dancing with the Stars - in fact it's not cute when any woman over the age of 17 plays this angle!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Good Info & Good Eats

As anyone who reads my blog can guess, I love to read. Working my way through Before & After by Susan Maria Leach. When you get past some of her waxing poetic about her wonderful life and how magic everything is now that she's lost weight, there's some substantially good info - like how to figure out your protein needs. There are also some great recipes. Someone in my local support group recommended BariatricEating.com which is Ms. Leach's company. I got the book when I ordered some product samples. Here's a shameless plug - the IsoPure Grape Frost is great as is the Believe Italian Cappuccino!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The No-Progress Zone

Lost 10 pounds the first week after surgery; lost 31 in the three months prior. Have gained four pounds; then dropped two. My husband asked me what the point of the surgery was, since it was my own efforts that made the most significant change? Good Question. I have no restriction, and can eat normal foods, although the oddest things make me queasy - today it was two pretzels I ate as a precurser to my Oracea. The first fill is next week...I haven't been doing as well as I should with my protein shakes, so I actually had to force myself to work in a few extras yesterday which helped on the scale. A lot of the time I'm not hungry, so I find myself going too long between meals and then being ravenous.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Easter Dinner

My turn to host the Easter dinner - after I had to convince the "fam" that no, the gastric band procedure did not remove my abilities in the kitchen! Par for the course - despite the fact that I had a whole dinner arranged, my m-i-l had to bring not only the scratch rolls(which I asked her to make - but not enough to feed 20 people), but also a pie and two dozen sweet rolls - for six people?! My s-i-l brought a salad(which I asked her to) but also a pasta salad and a fruit salad in heavy, sugary sauce - again, we're talking 5 adults and a toddler. Of course my s-i-l has DMII but doesn't "believe" she's a diabetic and doesn't like to eat the "healthy stuff" I make. That's defined as veggies you can recognize, not hidden in over sauced cassoroles. So she has to bring her own "contributions" which load up most of her plate.   Upon arriving my m-i-l says, "How's your little diet going?!" (still clueless no matter how many times I've explained the procedure) and my s-i-l; aka the MegaPhone Mouth from the Motor City starts the questions - "How much have you lost?", "Are you going to eat?", "Can you eat this?", "Can you eat that?" I just about lost it!   So, when everyone arrived and was hanging out before chow time I said something to the effect of, "This is it - get your questions in now, because I'm not going through this at every family get together nor am I going to give you material to gossip to any and everyone about me, my procedure, why I had it, what I eat, don't eat, wear/no longer wear etc! It's getting boring for everyone and since some of you can't respect my privacy, I simply am not going to put it out there." No sooner than I left the room, my s-i-l is grilling my husband! God love him - I could hear him tell her, "You heard with Jill said - let it go!" Later my nephew caught me in the kitchen and thanked me for having the "balls" to stand up to the "gossip girls"!:thumbup:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

A Trip to the Tailor

I'm blessed with a really great tailor - Chris. Her s-i-l had lapband so she gets it. She's also straight up about what she can and can't do. I really hate shopping - I've said it before - even when I was a size 8/10 I hated it. So I naively thought that I'd just had everything taken in - they do it with wedding gowns don't they? Well, Chris had me try on what I brought including a couple of brand new size 24 Charter Club "Allison" pants..which were too small when I bought them in January. She was honest - they were too big to take in and the inseam(crotch) was so low it just wasn't flattering. So I guess it's time to face facts and go through my closets - Consignment stores here I come! Oh - my shoes are now loose too. Better not let my husband see the shopping bags!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Some Real Nutritional Info - From a Reliable Source

Met with my NUT practice today(not the one affliated w/my surgeon). I explained that I was confused about what to eat and how much(don't know about everyone else, but I've gotten so many conflicting tidbits that I've got pages of notes). So the ladies get out the ADA Pocket Guide to Bariatric Surgery - Appendix C - LAGB Stages and Postadjustment Diet Instructions. Right there on the front it says, "Note: There is no evidence supporting a specific diet transition. Expert opinion suggests (a) a staged approach; ( diet advanced as tolerated. Some other notes of interest: Stage III (whole grain crackers may be added to eat with protein) StageIV (your calorie needs are based on height, weight , age and activity - so much for the "1,000 calorie" pat answer)   Another great help was the ADA's EatRight - Bariatric Surgery Blended and Pureed Nutrition Therapy which provided a Sample Menu by Hour with amounts to consume - you are literally eating or drinking every hour from 8am to 10pm! I had no clue - so this will help as I go through the stages again following my fills.

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

Ashamed to Admit It

I am starving. I am finding that a 1/4 - 1/2 cup of mush does nothing for me and I'm hungry 45 minutes later. I am finding I can eat things like chocolate(melts in your mouth), ice cream and oddly enough - Doritos(crunch down to nothing). So I've gained 3 pounds. I have no fill so the hungry doesn't surprise me but I am disappointed that after the sheer agony of the three month pre-surgical diet, I am cheating. Am I bored with my food choices(Hell Yes!) Is it a good excuse - No. Fill day can't come soon enough - maybe in the meantime my doctor could prescribe a good appetite suppressant!?!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

What it Cost!?

Since January, $41,683 has been billed to my insurance company for services related to my procedure. The entire surgical charge was $26,829 - excluding the anesthesia. The procedure itself was billed at $17,735 - for a 45 minute pop. What's funny is my carrier's Reasonable & Customary for the surgery alone is $3,130 - so that's what Ellis gets paid. My portion of the entire surgical day - $389. My entire portion of the surgical process plus lead up - $1,482.00 I couldn't pay what they billed my carrier - who could? I'd be curious to see what my charges would've been if I'd pay out-of-pocket cash. Ellis will of course, write of the difference between billed/paid and my coinsurance on their taxes. Is it any wonder real reform is needed?

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

The Nick of Time

(Making up for not blogging for a few days) I realize just how lucky I am to have had my procedure before health care reform really kicks in as who knows what might be "excluded" down the road. Plus, as a result of all the pre-surgical testing I've been checked from head to toe and found to be in excellent health despite my weight and Type II diabetes. I consider myself very lucky that if I am able to tackle the weight problem, I can likely avoid the heart disease, stroke and osteoarthritus history prevalent in my family, and perhaps a recurrence of my breast cancer. Three weeks post-surgery and my doc has reduced my Metformin to once a day and my testing reveals BG within normal(non-diabetic) values - Yea!

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

 

New Drawers!

So - I'm down from a size 24/26 to around an 18/20 and my underwear was just too big, so I had to go buy some new big girl panties. The experience, though a positive (smaller size) was some what daunting. Why? Well, all the winter clearance sales are going on and there are some sweet deals but as I cruised the racks I realized that by this time next year I have no idea what size I might be. Will I have lost significant weight or just a couple of sizes? So I comfort myself by remembering that I've spent the past 10 years getting to be this big all while continuing my career so whew - I'm covered...I have clothes of all sizes! That is until I remember that a few years ago in a fit of "let's get real - you'll never be anything but a 3x " I donated all those clothes to Dress for Success. What's the problem? Even years ago when I was an 8/10 I HATED shopping and still do. Over the years I've built a wardrobe of quality classics - "investment pieces" so that at most I buy a new item or two with the emphasis on that which always fits - Shoes & Purses. Now I'm going to have to see just how much my tailor can alter what I've got and push myself into the dreaded - FITTING ROOM w/ MIRRORS:eek:

RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

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