Well, I have made the decision. I will not allow myself to go on living in this prison I have built around myself. I am having to pay a high price for my key, surgery. I want so much though. I used to be a model in high school and college. I never thought of my self as really anything more than average, but camera and makeup can do things you would not believe. In most of the photos taken when I was modeling I could not even recognize myself.
I broke my leg in November. I don't even have a good story about it. I wasn't on my motorcycle or my horse. I simply stepped off my porch wrong. My land lord had placed some bricks around my porch on edge. They were not mortared in and I had no idea. I stepped down with my right leg and turned my ankle and sprained it. I then tried to catch myself on my left leg but I stepped down on my ankle instead of my foot and spun around shattering the bones in my leg. I had to crawl into the house, my leg flapping behind me. It was a nightmare. It is hard crawling along in the dirt when you are fat. My knees hurt, my hands and elbows hurt, and the feeling in my leg was indescribable. I still have nightmares about it. I vowed then I was going to have surgery. Only the first surgery I had was to try to reassemble all the broken bones in my leg. Unfortunately I am going to have to get a lawyer and sue my landlords insurance company for the medical bills.
I am waiting for my income tax to come in. I think I am going to go with the gastric sleeve. I have been reading medical studies, journals of medicine, clinical trials and studies involving both the band and the sleeve. Insurance is not an option for me. I am self pay so going to go to Tijuana. I have to go get a passport. I am also moving on the 15th of February so have a lot to do here very shortly. I am still using a cane to get around, so cannot do a lot of exercise and still need another surgery on my leg.
