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"I'm proud of you

There are a lot of changes happening around me. I have been preparing for a life changing surgery and to add to my journey my parents are moving from New York to North Carolina. To say I am close to my parents is an understatement.   Part of me wanted to tell them about this surgery and the other was afraid of their reaction. Plus, I was afraid of stressing them out since we are at less then a week away of them leaving.   The truth is I don't tolerate change well and this is alot of change at once. I'm cranky because of the carb restriction, struggling at the gym and frustrated that I'm not losing the way I think I should be. TTOTM is no where in site and I've had swelling in my ankles. Checked out OK with the cardiologist.   Hopefully anyday now my liver will do what it's supposed to do... release the glycogen stores so I can think again.   Well, this was their last weekend as New Yorkers. My DH and I had them over for dinner and I made DH tell them! I expected more shock but they were automatically supportive. And I explained that I hadn't told many people and he told me to keep it that way.   And my parents said the words that every child wants to hear... "I'm proud of you."
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

2
 

Back home

Surgery was on friday. I was nervous especially when the nurse walked me into the OR, helped me on the stretcher as she introduced me to some of the staff. They applied the flowtrons or compression stockings positioned my arms and then out of no where the nurse anesthesist put the mask over my face and that's all I pretty much remember. I woke up in PACU, the recovery area and my room wasn't ready. I didn't really notice at the time because I was still so sleepy but my husband was getting annoyed. We only scheduled this surgery 6 weeks ago! So they sent me to get the Xray test done. The man was nice enough but was forcing this gross drink for me. He asked me to take a third sip and I almost vomited on him. At least they got the images they were looking for.   The pain got pretty bad as the anesthesia wore off. I also had a hiatal hernia repair so it makes the deep breathing difficult. The Dr. told me everything was perfect and he'd be in to see me in the morning.   I don't even know how often I took the pain meds. By the time I woke up I was in pain and it was time to walk and pee. We had this down.   The doctor and nutritionist visited me seperate times the next morning and I was out by noon. By the time I got home it had been a long time since I had any pain meds so I made my husband take me to the pharmacy. I've been taking one pill every four hours but the pain is noticably better. It's still hard to cough and deep breathe and the port site hurts when I get up or sit down. I slept on the recliner and I can't wait for my bed. I'm starting to get a little bit hungry but not terrible. Hopefully at my follow up on Tues. I'll be advanced to full liquids. But I don't want to rush this.
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

0
 

Almost as exciting as setting my wedding date...

I have set my surgery date. DH came to the Drs. appt with me which is helping him feel a little bit better about the surgery. The surgeons wife is so involved and a great 'people' person. She explained to my DH that not only am I preventing health issues before they develop, I'm also entitled to look and feel good about myself. Thank you. DH is thinking that I'm all about the cosmetics, while important it's not the only reason I'm doing this. If it was I wouldn't opt for surgery.   So when is the big day?!!?!?!? May 14. It's a friday and then I'll be home with DH all weekend for him to take care of me! lol.   This means I start the pre-op liquid diet May 1. I already explained to the Dr. why I have such a hard time with the low carb. My workouts are still pretty intense and working overnights, there are times I stay awake for 24hours. If I allow an extra yogurt and take tylenol, Im ok. But between working as a nurse and driving home tired, it's not so safe to feel like that! :thumbup:   Well I was told I dont have a fatty liver and I've lost most of my pre-op weight required. I was required 12 lbs and I lost 8 lbs. I explained where Im having difficulties and basically was told to keep doing what I'm doing. I hope for the month of April to lose another 8lbs and make it more than I was supposed to! :tt1: Then anything lost on the liquid portion will just be extra!   I'm feeling pretty good about everything. It still feels surreal that I'm going ahead with this but I've been honest with the Drs. team. I guess everyone can feel the way I do at times.   I still am having a hard time telling others about this surgery. So far DH is the only person who knows and two friends know I'm thinking about it. I'm worried to tell my parents because they are moving soon and I don't want them to worry about leaving me or anything like that. DH is doing a good job supporting me. I hate feeling like I'm lying since I talk to my parents all the time. "So what's new?" "...Nothing..." ARGH!
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

5
 

Rollercoaster of emotions

Initial consultation 2/12 check Pulmonary Function Test 2/23 check Psych eval 3/11 check Nutrition Consultation 3/11 check Ultrasound and blood work 3/15 check Met with PCP to discuss surgery 3/15 check Pulmonary consultation 3/16 check EGD 3/25 check Cardiology consult 3/31 Meeting with surgeon and my husband 4/1   It's been a busy couple of months trying to get in all these consultations and appointment. Working nights doesn't make it easier either, people forget you have to sleep sometime! My cardiology has been postponed due to the receptinists sending me to the wrong office... twice. But I think we have it this time! lol   I'm been dreading and putting off the low carb diet. That is until I read a very informative post about how the liver actually shrinks. Time to get my butt in gear. I've lost weight, don't get me wrong but apparently I'm not shrinking my liver at all.   I was very nervous going to the EGD. I've never been under anesthesia before. They rolled me into the room and once I saw my doctor I felt much better but still hated the idea of losing control. The anesthesiologist says goodnight and the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. I told the nurse it was the best power nap I've ever had.   On the first I will meet with my surgeon again and he will meet my husband since he didn't attend the information seminar. At first my husband was against me having the surgery. Then I started to get cold feet and panic and we had a heart to heart and he thinks that I should go through with this.   It's been a rollercoaster of emotions these passed few months and for awhile I convinced myself not to go through with it at all. I'm not sure when the surgery will be since I haven't been doing the appropriate diet to shrink the liver.
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

1
 

Back on the band-wagon

I have to take a few minutes to be honest with myself, and in doing so, honest with who ever reads this (which I hope is quite a few for accountability). I have not posted since the surgery. Things were going great; no complications, side effects, I was dropping weight rapidly and feeling and looking good. I was writing because I didn't feel I needed to.   Then the weightloss platued. I had lost 35lbs fairly rapidly and I've heard of the body going into shock and holding onto weight.   It was gradual. My weight loss first tapered off and then became a constant struggle between three lounds in a cycle of gaining and losing.   I wish I could say I've been perfect. I went away fro a week for my birthday. Hey it was my birthday and I wanted birthday cake. But I need to learn that it's a birthDAY not week and get back into the swing of things. Some days the bed looks more appealing than my workout clothes and we all know the convenient food is usually full of carbs and fats.   I guess that's why they say the first year is about learning to live with this tool. Until proper restriction (which I do feel like I'm almost there) you need to focus more on willpower. So, I wonder, where does the dieting end and the lifestyle begin?   Does it feel like dieting while I try to incorporate new healthy habits into my lifestyle?   I know where I need to focus and from this point I will make a conscious effert to do what I need to do - because I was succesful when I did certain things.   I need to take more control of my environment; exercise, eating choices and my thoughts. I need to make exercise a priority. I need to plan my meals so I'm never 'lost.' I need to say no to eating out... for awhile at least, it's just too risky and you really don't have control over what you are eating. I need to allow myself to be assertive and advocate for my best interest.   That's not to say I will never have another 'lazy' day or I will never have lunch out with my girlfriends or dinner with my husband. But I can't rely on easy things because it's those things that got me to over 230lbs on a five foot frame and at present has me feeling like a failure at what was a fairly drastic effort to gain control in my life.
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

0
 

Refocus

I think I'm in a good place mentally now to move forward through this set back. The scale moving in the right direction seems to support this.   I've notived more hair than usual starting to come out of my head. Which is a clue that I'm not eating nutritiously. So my plan now is to start drinking the protien shakes, take a biotin supplement and maybe visit with the nutritionist again. Any other tips?   I downloaded the coach to 5k podcast but I'm not sure if I'm ready to run. Or maybe it will be just the kick in the butt I need. I've been taking a variety of classes at the gym, and that may have been overdoing it because I was so sore, those intructors can be brutal.   With the cool autumn weather moving in I will be able to take more walks at the park trails.   Went food shopping with hubby and we bought lots of fruits and veggies. I didn't pick up much meat because we got there late and the butcher wasn't there to trim and slice so I another trip I go.   I guess things are starting to settle in well. Thank you for the well wishes as I work towards refocusing. And please feel free to share your experiences.
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

0
 

The first day of the rest of my life.

That's what tomorrow is. Or maybe today depending on how you look at it. Today I am prepping for my lapband surgery tomorrow. I'm am taking in clear liquids and drank the magnesium citrate as the doctor ordered. Just waiting for that to kick in.   I work overnights as a nurse. All night I was fine. I stopped at a girlfriends house on the way home and we were talking. A little about this and that and a little about my surgery.   I asked "Am I doing the right thing?"   And of course her response was "Yes!"   One of the things that stinks about working overnights is that everyone is at work during the day. So while I'm awake and nervous and needing to talk to someone, everyone's busy.   I wasn't and I still am not having a panic attack but I am nervous. And by 12:30 when sleep was no where in sight I unfortunately had to take something to help me relax and get some rest. I'm sure staying up for 36hrs straight wouldn't really help.   My time for tomorrow is at 8:00. Thank goodness I'm an early case for the surgeon. I think I would go crazy wandering around my apartment waiting to get this started. My husband as been absolutely amazing to me. My friends and family have been very supportive.
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

0
 

Low carb and pre-op diet information.

I've been struggling with the low carb pre-op diet (and I'm not on the liquids yet.) So I found this helpful information about the pre-op diets and how they are used for a safe surgery.   When I met the nutritionist she told me to follow a restricted carb diet. I figured it was just to lose weight quickly pre-op, which is true but more importantly it's to shrink the liver so that the surgeon will have easier access to your stomach, decreased surgery time and increasing safety.   This was posted by SeattleSweetie and at the bottom shows where she found her information.   http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f273/how-shrink-your-liver-increase-st-weight-loss-low-carb-pre-op-diet-65020/
Mel Mel

Mel Mel

1
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