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You know, its only been a month since surgery~

My husband helped me realize that I had the band put in like a little over a month ago. I feel like it has been so long and I should be losing more, but thats crazy! I'm too obsessed with my weight right now. I need to stop worrying and just let it happen.   People obsessed about their weight are annoying and boring. I don't know how I got to this point, I wasn't like this before surgery. I think it's just that I have nothing better to do right now.
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

Yesterday was the end of the semester!!

Tomorrow I meet with the doctor for my pre-op appointment. I'm so nervous! And my scale broke... Maybe I used it too much.   So, I have no idea what I weigh. I might just go buy one today.   I'll let you know how it went.:confused:
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

Stressssss

I keep thinking of all the stuff going on in my life.   I'm having major surgery (obviously). I quit my job. I'm getting married on New Years Eve. I'm on like 300 cal a day!! I'm running out of money. I'm looking for another job but.. I'm moving to another state in 3 months.   This is by far the most eventful time in my life. I'm in a constant state of stress and worry with no food to comfort me and no energy to do anything but lay around.   I can't wait to look back and laugh about this in the future.:tt1:
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

So worried!

My liquid diet starts on Thursday. I am so worried that I somehow will not lose enough weight to get banded.   I took all these tests today. They took sooo much blood. They have to take it out of my hands because my veins are too deep due to my obesity. It was slow and painful.   Then I had an ultra sound. It was surprisingly painful as well. Man she jams that thing down in between your ribs and after having no food or water for the 12 hours before I was not in the mood. It took about a half hour, i thought i would be bruised from it, but I wasn't.   Then the x ray, which was super fast and painless.   EKG took about 2 minutes. The nurse liked my bra. Then this breathing test which took like an hour! It sucked. So hard to concentrate on anything when youre that hungry.   I am currently on like 400-600 cal a day to make sure I lose enough before my liquid diet.   I still have ten pound minimum to lose before the 24th. Will it happen? I have heard its no problem, but my Dr. is crazy strict and has made me cry before. I have no doubt that he will cancel if I do not do this. :thumbup:
HiMow

HiMow

3
 

So I guess this is resulting in a secret marriage

I am engaged to be married on Oct 21, 2010. It has already been planned for almost a year.   I quit my job to focus on my well being throughout December and the most difficult part of this process. Well that includes me losing my medical benefits.   How can I cover all of my post-op care? My insurance is up on the 31st! So, Brian and I have decided to get married on Saturday so that I can be on his insurance plan. We do not want to tell our families because they would all be devastated that they were not there. Plus, my mom and dad are putting up a lot of money to fly us to vegas for the real wedding.   So the plan is to just make this feel like paperwork. I don't want to take away from the real deal, but I also don't want to remember my true wedding as some quick lame thing. We want to go the Snoqualmie Falls (where they filmed Twin Peeks) because it is a special and romantic place for us. We are bringing his brother, who is going to be ordained online in like 5 minutes and two witnesses that are friends and that is it.   I am not going to change my name or get my wedding band yet. I will save those for the real wedding. It seems like it could be kind of romantic to just have our little secret. Then I can wear the dress of my dreams on Oct 21st of next year because I will hopefully be close to my goal. That is some pretty good motivation. As for saturday, i think I will wear a simple black dress that I already have and try to make sure my hair and makeup look really great. I do want pictures, even if they are just for me to see. I can post them if you guys like.   Gosh I can't even celebrate with a piece of cake, a nice dinner, or a champagne. :confused: I'm all clear liquids until the 24th.   I cant wait until I don't define celebration by what we eat.
HiMow

HiMow

6
 

Please comment is you can help.

I feel like I didn't have the band. Yes, I hurt! Yes, I can't eat. And yet??   I look at people that have lost and think.. gee I wish that were me. I have lost 43 lbs in a little over a month!! and I think I haven't lost any!     I think it might be because I don't feel the restriction. Or maybe I feel like my gravy train is going to end and my loss will slow sooo dramatically.   Also, I cant exercise yet so I feel like a fatty. I just sit around all day. I know this will only be another few days before I can start looking for a job.   You guys... I loose like a pound a day and I keep think "ohh it's just water weight. That's not really what I weigh."   When is this going to sink in and give me more confidence?
HiMow

HiMow

5
 

Ohmy god

tomato soup with yogurt and avocado in it is AMAZING!   eat if if you':biggrin:re on mushies!
HiMow

HiMow

3
 

Man am I hungry!!

I am so close to my band date! I haven't cheated at all and it has been the hardest thing I have done to not eat any solid food for this long. I am literally starving but I have lost 31 lbs as of this morning.   I think that my hard work is paying off and setting me up for success in the future. My jeans are loose and my double chin is nearly GONE!   I feel like cheating is not even an option. I keep reading in the forum about all these people that cheated here and there. I would be too scared to jeopardize my health. When I first started reading about people's cheating I cried and got scared I would cave.   I feel so strong right now! But go figure, I'm hungry!!!!!!
HiMow

HiMow

2
 

lost 51 lbs in less than 2 months!!!!!!

yeah. AWESOME!!   but I don't think it's that big of a deal because I started so high! (326) the super over weight lose a lot more but it seems like less.   I bet the next 50 will show SO much more.   I have a new goal of 25 more lbs. Already down 1 more.   Give me a high five!!:thumbup:
HiMow

HiMow

9
 

JUST SO YOU KNOW.. I will STOP reading your post if...

You use the phrase "that being said."   it infuriates me, it is SOOO annoying!!!!!   I will read a post up until that line, after that I figure this person has nothing original or worth while to say.   HAHA sorry i might just be cranky cause I'm sick, but I also can't stand when people say "DH"   I will never say that. It is so ewwwwww!!!   I'm sure there are more, but those two just KILL me!!!:bored:
HiMow

HiMow

8
 

I'm watching Miss America

stupid bitches! haha they're so pretty. It's not even my style but I just love tan, blonde, tall beauty queens. Probably because my mother was one.   Here I am pale, short, chubby, and have dyed my blonde hair dark for 10 years.   I wonder if I will ever be a "babe".   I have always wanted to secretly be "mainstream attractive" but my heart just sort of gravitates to an alternative look. I think it stems from my attraction towards alternative ways of thinking. and now i have all these tattoos and piercings.   I dont look like a PUNK. At least I don't think so. You can tell I'm edgy.. but thats like how the kids are these days. haha! and I was such a weirdo in high school.   Oh... i got married today. It was sweet. At the waterfall by a witch and two witnesses. The real big wedding is in October, but we had to shot gun it for insurance reasons. I am happy to be a MRS. but I will not change my name until October since no one knows about it. SHHHH! I also get my wedding band then, too. It was special and sweet. I love my husband!!!
HiMow

HiMow

5
 

I was so excited to weigh less than my fiance

I stepped on the scale and I was 281. So... Brian weighs 280 and i was so excited to weigh less than my fiance. Then he informed me that since I had the surgery he lost weight and is now 270.   WELL HELL.   I am really excited that he is losing weight, too! then we can be hot together.   But, you know...   I guess maybe in a few more weeks. I want to catch up to him!
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

I EAT! (and by eat I mean over-eat)

when I am bored, I eat. When I am sad, I eat. when I am happy I eat... When i feel like indulging I eat... when i want comfort I eat.   now I can't eat :smile2: I lost my best friend!!!   too sore to exercise.. too cranky and out of it to be productive...   I need to find something to DO!!
HiMow

HiMow

4
 

Guuuuurl, I am so full!

I made 2 eggs a little firmer than usual, because my chef fiance makes them for me but he isnt home right now.   I ate less than 1 and I am soooooo full. Its kind of cool. But, being full is kind of uncomfortable when youre not used to it.
HiMow

HiMow

3
 

first fill!

I had my first fill yesterday and I found out that I pulled a muscle behind my port. Thats why it hurts and pinches when I move.   I have to "take it easy"   Thats lame bc I am so bored and Brian is a terrible house keeper!!!:thumbup:
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

Finally

for the first time in 2 weeks I lost a pound!! Hurray!
HiMow

HiMow

3
 

encourage me!!!

In one week I get my first fill. I want it sooo bad! I have been really disciplined and only eat 2 oz at a time. I think thats why I am losing so well and my pre op diet was all clear liquid!         10 lbs a month sounds good. If that happens I will be...   80 more lbs by my wedding. that would put me in ONEderland.   199! Can I do it???
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

Do you remember the first time?

I remember when I first saw the scale go over 200. I was in 7th grade. I was scared. It was the worst time in my life. I lost my family, I was being abused, I was homeless for a time, I saw my mother beaten.   My mom was always obsessed with weight. I have been on a diet since I was born.   When I was born, the first words I ever heard were, "Woah! Thunder thighs! It's cute now but it won't be cute later." That is what the doctor said to the nurse.   I am hungry.
HiMow

HiMow

1
 

1.5 week check up

My first fill apt. is January 20!! I can't wait!   :mad: I want to be full so bad!!!
HiMow

HiMow

2
 

1 month Post op: losing fast

I had some requests for tips.. I am trying to think of what I have done differently.   For one- I don't drink any coffee or soda or any caffeine which increases appetite and dehydrates you. I quit cold turkey along with smoking cigarettes.   I eat anything I want. But, I usually just have protein or mostly protein because I crave it. I like canned tuna, beans, and chicken mostly.   I have a stupid protein shake every day because it is the only way I can take my pills. It usually has 30 grams.   I haven't really had more than 1000 calories a day, but I don't count bc thats why I have a band! I hear I should be having more.   I don't exercise at all (I can't until I heal from a pulled muscle)   I like herbal iced tea and crytal light to get all my water. I like sugar free popsicles when I want to eat but am not hungry.   I DO NOT drink for an hour after I eat. I watch the clock like a hawk for that hour to pass. I drink all the way up tp my very first bite.   A few days ago I decided to go off of Celexa, a major contributor to my weight problem. I will let you know if that makes a difference. :wink2::sad::drool:
HiMow

HiMow

1
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