Since getting my call and having an actual surgery date, all I can think about it is my surgery and life after. Researching diets, nutrition, etc.. 100% committed to this lifestyle change.
It's consuming my thoughts and mind, to me it's a good thing, but I'm starting to think I'm obsessing over it. I have SEVERAL projects I need to be doing, but as I start to work on them, I get a thought about a recipe or a surgery question or something surgery related and I'm off doing that.
I need to focus.. I NEED to get all of these projects done TODAY.
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS... but all I can think about is how long my stay will be, can I talk the surgeon into the single incision method. Does he already use the single incision method? My pre-op appointment is tuesday with the surgeon so I'm SURE I'll get alot of my questions answered then.
And wondering if I can get my original surgery date back.. I was originally scheduled for the 18th, but I pushed it back to the 21st due to an event I had scheduled for the 18th, but last night I decided to cancel the event. Now I want the surgery on that day.. I need to call my scheduler and see if it's still available. She'll probably want to ring my neck after I already changed it once lol.
18=9, 21=3 - both good numbers... I'll have to think on this. 9 feels better and has stronger meaning.
12+18=30 3+0=3 12+21=33 - 3+3=6 eh still a good number but I prefer 3 or 9... so 18th it is.. now let's just see if I can get my scheduler to agree :thumbup:
Yes I'm strange, yes I just totally just worked that out for the world to see and let you all in on my crazy lol -really Yvette? Really.. lol oh well it's my blog lol.
I think what's different about me and most people here is I love myself, maybe a lil' too much. I don't aspire to be thin, I don't want to be skinny. I love my curves, my shape, me. I'm an hourglass, maybe the big ben of hourglasses but an hourglass nonetheless.
Part genes part hard work, regardless of how much I weigh I still have a "shape" and it's not just round. When I lost weight before I kept the same shape, just a smaller version of it. I'm in faith that the same thing will happen now. I like me, I like my big butt, musclar and powerful legs, I like my arms, my face (minus the double chin lol) and my breasts. YES there's room for improvement, that's why I'm doing this.
But I just don't look in the mirror and think "ugh" like some of the people I've talked to on here do. We're all beautiful in our own way and pardon the pun but weigh, as well.
300, 200 or 150 I'm still fly. I'm still beautiful, I'm still me. And because of that I think this journey will be easy for me. Self love is what it takes.
Yes I could sit and point out my double chin, my backfat, how the tops of my thighs aren't so solid any more, but hey I can still wear a skirt or bathing suit an nobody really notices.. I could point out how I have a stomach, that thankfully is soft so people don't mistake me for being pregnant I could point out how my upper arm is a lil' loose as I age, I like to think its from all of the beauty waving I did lol...j/k
But point all of that out wouldn't do me any good, besides it doesn't define me. I have always been and will probably always be a plus sized woman. Yes yes, I know we all want to be skinny, yeah not me. I'm just not part of that crowd. People keep making comments to me about "You're so pretty, imagine what you'll look like after" - Fa' real? I mean really?? was that supposed to be a compliment? I look pretty freakin' good now, and I'm not sure the world is ready for a skinny Yvette LMAO.. Ok maybe that's just funny between me and my BFF.. lmao.. but I digress.. I'm just saying.. if we love ourselves it makes the journey easier.. If you're not constantly jumping on the scale, getting caught up with who from your surgery month is losing more than you or whatever the situation is, you're bound to succeed and do it with ease.
Excuse the outfit, this was takin' before a "trailer park party" but as I was going through old pics I figured I'd stop and show the world what 5'5 315lbs looks like on me...
We hear it all the time... "I love my band", I'm going one further and saying "I love my life!" I've said this a lot prior to the band, but with it I find myself saying it much more often.
That sense of confidence that comes with it, the great feeling of knowing that I'm doing everything I can to be successful and extend the life I love so much and of course, the changes my body is making that make me feel good and seem to be making people compliment me for.
Yesterday was intended to be a very special day for me, and although things didn't go exactly as I had planned, I did have a few interesting surprises.
I have a date for myself every month where I go and get all of my girly things done, mani, pedi, waxing, etc... If you do it on the right day (within the first 3 days of your period) the results will last for 4-6weeks as opposed to 2-3 weeks. Anyways... as I said it was intended to be a special day so I decided to go a step further and get my make-up done by a friend of mine that works at MAC.
Just as we were finishing up, Surprise #1, our mutual friend pops up to come "supervise" to make sure my make-up is right for the evening/event that was supposed to happen and that I'm dressed how she wants me to be dressed lol -ok you'd have to know her to appreciate it lol.
Our friend instructs on the necessary changes for my makeup, more dramatic, more blush, etc... few mins later we're done.. wow it was "pretty" the first time... now it's umm WOW...
Next stop lane bryant, as my friend has decided that what I was planning on wearing wasn't good enough and would be too big, as it seems the majority of my clothes are these days. (YAY!) She decided I needed new clothes. Definitely God's favor as they had just laid out the Icon clearance rack. For those of you that are fashionistas you know that Icon is the upper echelon of Lane Bryant, most stores don't carry the Icon line, you have to order it online and you're going to expect to pay typically around $100 for each piece or more.
Everything was marked down so that the most you would pay is $12.99 per item....WHAT?!?!?! Ok surprise #2! - JACKPOT!!! $300 worth of dresses for only $26.00 later...we decided on two dresses. One sweater cowl neck dress and one cocktail/party/special event dress. Either would have fit the scheduled event.
Shoes to match? Check.. (Really one pair that matches BOTH dresses?!?!?! - YAY for surprise #3) Cheap accessories that look expensive from the skinny girl shops? CHECK! - WHO KNEW??!?! I tend to avoid these shops, no real reason to go in.. Found jewelry in these shops that's nicer than what you find in LB, Avenue and Torrid at a fraction of the cost... $2.90 for a tennis bracelet? 4.90 for a long necklce, etc.. it was great! - Good lookin' out Surprise #4! lol
I get home and get the look together...FIERCE! You couldn't tell me NOTHING... I knew I looked good. And as I came to find out, so did the people around me. LOL... As I was waiting for my companion (before I cancelled (surprise #5 because this is the love of my life who has been away for over a year in iraq) cause he was taking too long - long story involving kids, bedtimes, saying good night and different time zones by the time all of that was done it was now 10pm our time and um I'm going to need to go on a date at a respectable hour, yes yes I know I pushed from lunch to dinner.. but this was too much and too late, but I digress...back to the blog...)
As I was waiting on my love to sort out his family things, I decided since I was already dressed, to go to another mall near my house to see if they had the shoes the other mall didn't have. I go in and who do I run into? My most recent ex-boyfriend! (surprise #6) the store he moonlights in happens to be next to the store I was going to.. but normally he doesn't work on wednesdays... but as fate would have it, he was last night lol. 60lbs lighter, inches smaller, mani'd, pedi'd, waxed and make up done...lookin' SO good.. in my new form fitting dress and shoes, I see him staring as I walk by and his eyes...his eyes all but literally POPPED outta his head, he was so taken aback. YES YES YES!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!! LOL
I ended up going into his store so he could get a better look lol, there's nothing between us, defintely don't want him back, he was a 6 month rebound. But I must admit, I did love his reaction! LOL...Yep I love my life lol !
Can I just put it out there how happy I am that when I get on the scale it no longer has to be moved to the 300 mark...that it can start at 250 and I'm almost to the point of it being able to start at 200...lil' things make me happy.
I went to the gym yesterday and had to weigh in for a training session and for the first time in a long time I didn't have to tell them "Keep going" as they adjusted the weight lol... YAY ME! I love my band!
Ok well maybe just for a lil' bit..
So I'm 10 days post op and today was a test for me... and I failed MISERABLY.
I woke up and went to church, got a craving went through the drive through figuring i"ll just eat the meat and the cheese. I get there and I see why I had the craving and why I was drawn to go to this place to help a young man feed his family after a tragedy. But that's another story..
So I go through the drive-thru and make the order...give the guy the food I bought for him and his family and speed off down the street to get to church.. I open the sandwich and go to pull the meat out, as I pull into church ready to set everything up, it's stuck to the bread because of the cheese. Without even thinking I get out of the car and go right into work mode walking with my staff as I'm eating and drinking.. before I realize it I'm a couple of bites I'm in and OMGOSH the pain, the nausea the UGH did I really just eat 1/2 of a mcmuffin??? and NOT chew chew chew it??? OMG I hunch over 1/2 trying to see if it can come back up... it won't come up.. all I want to do is throw up, it won't come up. It's stuck.. the pain, the pressure, the burping, the watering of the mouth that turned to dryness.. sip sip sip of water.. UGH it's stuck.. it's stuck omgosh it's stuck..
GOD PLEASE, I REPENT, I REPENT.. I promise I will follow the dr's order's to the letter if you just make the pain stop and let it get unstuck... I know I got this because of you and it's meant to enable me to do more work for you... and please I repent.. Omgoodness I think I'm going to throw up....
Nothing.... heave.. nothing...heave....Nothing... Urrrrrrrpppp..
NO not a burp, just let it come up PLEASE..
Heave.... urrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp
I feel a lil' better.. but now my mouth is dry, I need water, I need this pain to stop.. omgosh I think I can actually FEEL my band OMG what did I do, what did I do? What did I do??? Please don't slip...please don't slip.. please don't slip... Father I thank you for rapid healing and no incident or harm to come to me or my band in the name of Jesus..
Thank you Father, thank you Jesus... thank you thank you thank you...
Uuuuuuurrrrrrrrrppppp
*Gasp*
Water... Water...Water...
All I want is ice and water for the next few days.. I can actually "FEEL" it all.. it's hot on my insides... I can feel the coolness of the water and ice run through my chest and into my pouch... this is it... blah
So today is my 6 months of being banded. I had my regular appointment yesterday and we did some extra things to make sure everything is ok as well.
I have a clean bill of health. The band is working wonderfully, I got another fill which puts me to just over 8ccs in a 14cc band.
I'm 7lbs shy of my 6 month goal which was to lose 50lbs, but given the weightloss rollercoaster I've been on with the shedding pounds then gaining muscle at this point I'm just excited to be losing and to see the results in my body.
When I shared what has going on with the sliming etc.. we discussed what I was eating each time, and then did a barium x-ray to make sure the band was working and not leaking, etc.. Everything looked great, it was so interesting to see it actually "work" in my body.
After we decided to do a small fill to aid in my upcoming PMS eating... and today I feel great, had some eggs and even a porkchop today. - at separate times of course lol
Other than that everything is great, this is still the best thing I ever did for myself... it's amazing to me to think and know that in 6 months time I will have another 50+ lbs to have lost a total of 100+lbs. It's amazing to me, makes me just want to shout and run on that like I was in church! God is SO good, none of this is possible for me without Him! Hallelujah! :sneaky::confused:
This whole thing has just been awesome!
Feels SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Ok so I still have a ways to go but it feels SO good to KNOW that I'll NEVER be that size again... and I now I have room in my clothes for the new (and smaller) clothes I'll be purchasing along my journey.
Feels SO good! :thumbup:
Let's call it metamorphosis - the closest thing I can liken it to is a caterpillar cocooning and turning into a buttterfly. Except my cocoon has mirrors and I allow the occasional visitor. I'm definitely undergoing a transformation, my fill is working, I'm rarely hungry and when I am I eat small portions. I'm officially a size 22 dress which is for me a BIG deal, even though I've been a size 22, 20, even an 18 in jeans, I haven't gotten below a 24 top. So my dresses were always in the size 24-28 range depending on the cut and store.
Officially a size 22 which is for ME a HUGE deal, I feel GREAT.. I feel fantastic.. I feel....FABULOUS!
I'm definitely in the middle and midst of something great and I can't wait for it to continue.
NSV this week - Down from a size 48D to 40DDD - yes they actually got BIGGER! lol..
Down from a 24/26 dresss to a 22
Double chin has almost vanished completely!
Taught myself how to do "professional" looking makeup.
Rocked absolutely everything I wore...
And then ran into an old friend who just CHEESED when he saw me and couldn't get over or stop saying how great I look. That was just amazing (especially since he's the best friend of an ex boyfriend lol) this is absolutely 100% the BEST thing I ever did for myself.. I know I'm experience God results and my change is rapid and I'm SO thankful for it. Praise Him!
These are the moments where I realize how fat I once was, am and no matter how much weight I lose, will be.. It's because it's not on the outside it's on the inside. It's a mental thing.
I sit here writing this... 80lbs....wait make that 83lbs from goal. As someone who can lose 10+lbs in a week.. I really have no excuse to not hit my goal by my birthday in Oct. Even if losing at a slower rate.
This week, I hit the lowest number I'd been since I've been on this journey and it felt so good.....I then proceeded to make these "victory meals", cause that's what you do when you have something to celebrate right?!?!? #FatGIrlMoment - There was Ribeye Steak, Pork Sirloin Steak, "Light" Jello Salads ok....not so bad, but then we got to the mashed potatoes.. It's a celebration let's load them up... Garlic mashed potatoes, with triple cheddar cheese, with a touch of cream cheese and butter oh and bacon, and finally green onion for color.... These potatoes were and have been a meal in themselves for me in the past. They're so good they come straight out of my "Get Your Man" recipes/book I'm working on. But that's besides the point, the point to this is.. through the celebratory eating over the last 3 days I have gained 3lbs...
Last night having seen the scale move up 2lbs I decided "It's ok I'm gonna work out hard and lose it again" and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want donuts. So off to walmart I go, in the middle of the night for donuts, they didn't have the kind I wanted.. so I settled for my 2nd favorite again justifying it in my head, it's ok... I haven't had them in Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, I think I may have actually caught myself talking to them about how I'd missed them at one point. #FatGirlMoment
But here's the kicker.. today when I got on the scale, I actually got on the scale with a donut in my hand and was eating it as I looked down at the scale, half expecting it to move down. No shock and awe here....it was up, I'd offically gained 3lbs in just over 3 days....
Things like this is exactly why it's SO important for us to get the mental aspect about losing weight. Why it's SO important to understand our relationship with food and how it effects us, not only our bodies but our emotions as well.
I look forward to my #FatGirlMoments both good and bad as they're always a learning experience for me. And this time I learned a big one.... Everything we pick up is a choice, everything we eat can either move us closer to our goal or further from our goal and that's how we have to look at it. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time.
It's not easy... but I'm in faith I can and WILL do this!.
So I had pizza last night.. I was craving it.. (I know I know) I blame the $10 for any large pizza email I got from Pizzahut...anyways I got thin crust thinking this would help with bloating...etc..
Eh it's just not the same.. you ever eat something cause you had a craving and then you're like "eh" this isn't what I was expecting." or "this isn't as good as I thought it would be" - yep totally the reaction I had last night.
Or maybe it's truly that I just don't care for pizza really, and especially pizza hut.. either way I was just about full after a piece, I started to eat another one and I was done.. which makes me glad I didn't get hand tossed but seriously who wants pizza on a cracker? Ick!
So I had my "official" 2 week post-op check up and I'm down 42lbs. I was just "sure" I'd hit the 50lbs mark but I'll take 42lbs.
This puts me in the 200's a number I haven't seen in ages...I think high school, well and most of 2006. I was in the 200's then that cruise did me in and the scale has been climbing since. But I'm in the 200's and for me is a BIG deal, not as big a deal as the 100's will be but still a huge deal!
I have noticed that my restriction is becoming less. I have 3 cc's in my band currently (put in day of surgery) but I still get very full, off of not much at all. 2 scrambled eggs or 1 packet of oatmeal still sustains me.
Still on the protein shakes, still coming up with crazy new recipes for them like my "apple pie" one I made last night. But regardless of what I eat, I'm at that 42lbs mark, but my dr says it's right on track because that means I'm losing about 2lbs a week now which is what I'm supposed to be losing.
I took my steri-strips off today and I have almost NO scaring. Dr. Nirmul did a good job. the 3 small incisions are invisible, 1 is completely invisible, I'm not even sure they cut there, the one under my breasts is almost invisible and the one on my right side looks like a small healing cat scratch. The port incision is healing nicely and is pink, but will heal quite nicely. I'm very pleased.
I've been distracted for about an hour or two from writing this so I totally forgot what else I was going to add.. so I guess this is a good of place as any to stop...
Oh and in other news, my love interest is coming home EARLY. He wasn't supposed to be home til oct, and I thought I would shock him with the new me... but he'll be home in a matter of weeks, probably just in time for valentine's day. We'll see how it goes. I'm in faith that it will be excellent and he'll just go through this change with me. :thumbup:
So since I'm not eating as much... I've figured I better put my mouth to use in other ways.
I've started singing again... (Uh huh what were you thinking?!???! lol)
Something I've ALWAYS loved to do and have done forever.. I stopped singing right around 21 and now 12 yrs later, a lot of weight gain and more importantly loss later here I am.
There's truth to the saying "If you don't use it, you lose it" though.. but here I am just singing away trying to get some of it back. It's been interesting.. I joined an online karaoke site and it's the most hysterical thing, you can be TERRIBLE and people will give you 5 stars, right now I have a couple of songs in the site's "Top recordings" trust me when I tell you they're not good but hey I'll take the ego boost.
Anyways just one of my new hobbies I've picked up now that I'm feeling great about myself.. what interesting thing have you done or gotten back into since surgery?
Today is day 4, I did entirely too much. My port incision feels tight and pulled like I may have done something to myself. Could have been when the cart rolled into me, could have been the pants, either way.. I will rest up for the rest of the day.
Today I woke up and had yogurt for breakfast, that kept me full, but I decided I needed a protein shake to go all day. When I got home from my moms, I did some work, and got dressed. I put on the loosest but still cute and professional outfit I could find, luckily for me I work from home for the most part but I did have appointments out today.
I made my shake to go and went off to my first appointment. Everything was fine until I had to follow him, he walked what seemed to me as "REALLY FAST" normally I keep up with him no problem. But I could feel my stomach tightening, gas? pain? pulling? dunno.. just make a joke so he'll slow down.. joke joke, ok I got nothing.. Sorry if I can't keep up with you today, just had surgery. "Oh ok" he says as if I had just said there was paper in the fax machine.. like umm ok.. awkward but whatever...
Finish with him and on to the next, I walk into the building and the smelll makes me nauseated.. umm ok gotta go... back to my car, driving driving driving.. trusty shake by my side.. wait sitting sitting sitting, but these are my big pants, why are they digging into me right there.. ahhh ok there we go..
Whole Foods, they have the BIG thing of Fage yogurt on sale for 6.99... yogurt got it, wait what's this brand it has 24 grams of protein, WOW.. hmmm ok.. let me try this one too, oh what else do they have.. An hour later.... on to the next place.
By the time I'm driving to the next place I'm nauseated from the gas pressure and I think I just did too much, lifting a grocery bag, walking around for an hour, etc.. but I still need some groceries.. Let me go to the store on the way home.
I get to my street.. I think I can..I think I can.. I go straight instead of turning, I pull into the parking lot and I sit in the car feeling wiped out but trying to psych myself up.. wait what do I even need again? Oh that's right SOUP!
I walk in, as normal as I could and see the motorized cart, I jump in, screw it, I need it.. MEEP MEEP!
I get my shopping done with ease, but I bought too much, how am I gonna get this home? sigh.. I drive the cart out to my car, put the items in the front seat. Go to drive the cart back into the store and it stalls going up the lil' incline and pushes the full force/weight of it onto my stomach.. OUCH.. the guy from inside comes from outside to help, and he yells at his female co-worker who is standing less than a foot from me, for not helping me. I don't necessarily agree with HOW he said it, but i'm glad he said it so I didn't have to.
I come home and pull out the light things, the rest can wait.. inside groceries put away as much as possible, pants off.. ahhhh hmm I'm hungry... WOW that was the BEST cream of chicken and mushroom soup I've ever had in my whole life.. I would hurt someone for some pizza right now.. I don't even like pizza.. but I do like the crust.. mmmm
Soup.. delicious.. couple hours later, I wasn't hungry but because I knew it was in there I had some chicken salad.. I wanted to see how it went down, how hard it was to chew, etc.. all in all I had about 1 tablespoon of it, maybe a lil' less. Went down well, tasted even better... tomorrow I'll eat that.. tonight is my first night home, my first night sleeping in a bed, I layed on my bed at my moms but it was too high and hard to get up and down from, the couch, too cushy, the recliner, just right... so I stayed and slept in that recliner 95% of the time..
So now I'm in bed laying on my side.. wanting to roll onto my stomach and just SLEEP a good sleep..
on the upside NO pain meds today, all systems are GO and now I'm just tuckered out.. so with that I will say good night world. :cursing:
Day 3 of the pre - pre-op diet.. lol I started a week early just to ease my way into it.
The first day the 1st protein shake was HORRIBLE. The 2nd one was tolerable. Day 2 I started off right, created a protein shake that was on the verge of delicious. Then I got derailed by some chocolate chip cookies with skim milk (because yeah that skim milk makes ALLLLLL the difference lol) and a pollo asado burrito for dinner.. WHAT??? It's protein... lol
Ok so I fell off yesterday but I knew I would, that's why I did this a week early. Despite my falling off, everyone made comment about how great I looked and my energy level and I must admit I felt GREAT. People were asking me how much weight I've lost lol.. Umm I've been on a diet for 2.5 days, how much do you expect me to lose??? Lol but you know what? I will RECEIVE those compliments and how I feel!
Today I ate a cucumber like it was THE BEST candybar I'd ever had.. I think I was just excited for the texture lol, but I also played around with some shake recipes which I will be posting here in my blog as I develop and taste them.
Today's shake:
4oz Healthy Balance Apple Juice
2 tbsp vanilla non-fat yogurt (be careful with the sugar/carbs etc in your yogurt. Greek yogurt is best if you can find it - LOTS of protein, low carbs and little to no sugar.)
1 scoop vanilla Designer Whey protein mix
handful of icecubes.
Mix or blend, whichever you prefer, I've tried it both ways and they're both delicious. Well as delicious as it can be lol.
Tomorrow I'll do one with Acai juice and see how it turns out.
If you try the shake let me know what you think. :thumbup:
So I've figured out my weakness and what I need to stay away from... CARBS.. carbs carbs and more carbs. I already KNEW they were my weakness, but I didn't realize just how bad it was. I've been doing great post op, losing, etc...
This week I've been moving and having my kitchen boxed up and unavailable I've been eating out lots, fast food... (I know, I know) I thought oh I'll just eat the meat... Which would have been ok, until I realized I need a FILL (SO glad I'm getting one on Monday) and I'm eating everything in sight blah.
Buns, tortillas, rolls, breads... I'd been almost 8 weeks without them and in just one week weight is back in my face.. just one week. That's all it took..
So now that I've seen the other side and how quickly it can come and go.. GONE in the bread and simple carb. GONE GONE GONE and so will my double chin be, hopefully in time for my date.:biggrin:
Liquid diet and working out, my chins were the first thing to go, and the first thing to come back.. EEEEEK!! So I've got the next week to get it together!
Stupid carbs! lol
So I had a battle with the box of vegetable thins and the box one... *sigh*
But I slept and SLEPT and SLEPT and could totally go back to sleep right now.. I think I'm in a carb coma.. I hadn't had simple carbs in SO long, it started with the bread on monday, then the bread on thursday, and now the crackers on monday/tuesday again. Every time I eat them I get SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sleepy. Guess that's a big hint to STOP eating them huh?
Must become productive....
One of my favorite omlettes is what's usually called a California Omlette or a Santa Barbara Omlette.
Typically it has bacon, jack cheese, spinach, avocado, tomato and sour cream/salsa.
Today I made a band friendly version in a scramble that was delicious.
2 eggs
2 pieces turkey lunch meat
1/4 cup fresh baby spinach (half a handful)
1 slice Jack cheese
Fresh diced roma tomato
Fresh diced avocado
First dice lunch meat and put in pan to warm,as it's warming add preferred method of cooking agent, evoo, butter, etc.. If using a spray, spray the pan first.
Next add baby spinach and allow it to cook down, mixing with the diced turkey meat.
Once spinach is soft and wilted add 2 eggs and scramble the mixture as it's cooking (or pre-scramble eggs in bowl depending on your cooking level) stirring/scrambling constantly will insure soft light fluffy eggs.
Once the eggs are about done add cheese and turn off the heat.. eggs will continue cooking while you mix the cheese into them.
Once cheese is melted plate the eggs and cover with desired amount of diced roma tomato and avocado. (about a table spoon of each is good) mix into eggs and serve.
You can add milk to your eggs for protein, or you can serve with fage plain yogurt as a sour cream subsitute.
Eggs should be soft and moist, not dry and hard.
It will look like a alot of food, but in reality it's about 6oz total. Eating that puts me right at my limit for food and being full.
You can also cut in half and make with 1 egg, 1 meat, 1/2 cheese etc...
Let me know if you try it, and how you like it! :biggrin:
First let me say a thank you to those of you who sent me messages to check up on me, or let me know you missed my blogging, etc...
I've been quite the busy lil' bee lately and being online has only been for work and the occassional facebook check in lol.
All of that being said, let's see it's been about a month since my last log in.. not even sure about my last blog.
But the 4th of June I had another fill....I think this puts me at 7.75 in a 14 cc band. And wow can I feel the difference. Even getting samples at costco is too much for me right now.
My last two fills have had me experience sliming, pb'ing and last night for the first time...vomiting, well I think it was vomiting, I get confused on what you guys call PB'ing. Either way, It may be TMI but I ate a few chunks of fruit, (pineapple, cantaloupe, watermelon, etc..) by the time I got to the 4th chunk I had to excuse myself.. as I sat in the bathroom sliming....suddenly in one fell swoop up came the last chunk of fruit I had, not gross, but just as if I had chewed it and spit it out. Then I INSTANTLY felt better and went back to eating. I think I didn't chew enough, or my band just doesn't like honeydew lol.
Anyways...my weightloss had seemed to slow prior to this last fill. When I went in I had lost 2lbs. Which is still great considering what my diet had consisted of... Not that it's an excuse but I've been working excessive hours like 9am to 3am and moving. My house/houses were boxed up for about 3 weeks and for some reason the movers boxed up the kitchen first. So the combination of all of that had me back in my old lover's arms, basking in the light of his golden arches. Darn you Ronald...DARN YOU!! I said I would never call again... but you got me. But I'll get away this time lol... So after almost a month of fast food almost EVERY night.. I still lost. *Sigh* when I think of how much MORE I could have lost if I had been on plan!
I'm back to a white out (no flour, sugar, salt, rice) and putting protien shakes into heavy rotation while eating very small portions. Like last night I had 1/2 of a fish fillet (the fish not the sandwich lol) and some veggies. I wasn't hungry at all, but I hadn't eaten since 2 or 3pm so I figured I should eat something.
I have an appoint on Friday, supposed to be a fill appointment, I REALLY don't think I need any more liquid in there than I have right now.. maybe .25 to put it to 8 and tighten me up through my PMS phase which is due to come.
I can't be the only one who's band does not seem to be a match for mother nature during that time. I swear it's almost like my jaws come unhinged and I want to put everything in sight in my mouth, the sweeter and carby-er the better lol.. yes I know carbyer isn't a word but you know what? It's MY blog lol
Ok so where does that leave me.. been a good girl for the most part since my fill.. really didn't have a choice..
Came up with a new smoothy recipe that is AMAZING.. I mean AMAZING!!!
Speaking of amazing...I experienced this tres leche cake at a local spot here that is AMAZING.. I mean toe-curling, grab the edge of the table and look at the plate like it just did some dirty things to you, kind of amazing!!! I've made this my once a month treat.
Tres Leche cake, with coconut milk ice cream, topped with toasted coconut and pineapple tidbits and this rum sauce.. OMG this rum sauce.. AMAZING! I mean A-FREAKING-MAZING!
Like I had to stop eating it before there was a When Harry Met Sally kinda scene in there.. luckily I was sharing it with someone else so it didn't go to waste.
I'm going hardcore from now on... this friday is my 6 months post op and although I've lost, I'm not happy with my progress because I *KNOW* I could have done WAYYYYYYYYYY better. I've been so busy putting other things first and not focusing on me and my workout time, etc...
So going hard core, come my 1 yr anniversary ya'll are gonna be congratulating me on 100lbs gone. Probably more..
Epic moments so far: My shirt size and pant size now being the same, or close to (depending on the shirt lol)
For the first time since I was a teenager I fit into an 20 shirt which to me is a HUGE deal.. I mean HUGE! Then when I fit into an 18 I was ecstatically happy!
So 18 shirt down from a tight 32 (at my highest). Able to wear an x-large t-shirt and not have to special order a shirt for me for all of the various events I do. It feels SO good!
I'm teetering on the 18/20 size range, depending on the cut of the item. I bought a pair of capris from LB that were a 20, only because the 18 fell right on my Lapband scar which was uncomfortable.
I'm now at the point where I understand WHY people get lipo and other surgeries, although I DO NOT have saggy skin, I see my body changing and getting tighter in some areas, where I start to think... "Hmmmm if I just had this sucked out... I'd be GOOD" lol but I KNOW it's a challenge and I am determined to do this the right way, without any cheats or surgery.
So thankful to have friends who are helping me along the way, a seamstress friend to help with clothes, an esthetician friend who brings me all sorts of firming and rejuvenating creams, that seem to work. Bodybuilding/exercise guru/expert friends to help with diet and workouts. I have it set, I just need to take action which is what I am doing now.
Ok so I think that about covers it, my schedule is freeing up no so I'll have some more time to be back on here and check in with everyone. Please do give me the recaps of your progress!
Hope you're all doing amazingly well!!!
Ok so Friday 12/18/09 I got my band, I woke up going "OMG WHAT DID I DO TO MYSELF" as the pain kicked in. I'm not sure WHO lied and said it's painless, and you could totally be back to work on monday, but somebody did.
I think compared to most I'm doing relatively well. My uncomfortableness (is that a word? wait it is now) is mostly from over doing it today and gas. Have I mentioned how much I distain gas??? like it's a serious pet peeve of mine when people burp or pass gas in other ways without excusing themselves from the room first, or worse do it and think it's funny. I think I'm emotionally scarred from all the belching lol. As I hid in my mom's room away from everyone but her, just repeating excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, over and over again. So much so she was like just stop saying it lol.
Moving forward, I don't remember most of Friday. Yelling at the nurse, telling her to just stop talking. My friend putting me in the car to take me home, and then hours later my mom coming to rescue and taking me home with her. Don't remember much of that either. But I remember glimpses of it. YAY FOR GOOD DRUGS!
Never would I ever tell anyone to do this as an "outpatient" I would suggest if you have the option to stay in the hospitial over night, that you STAY.
Friday Day 1, I didn't eat anything, just water and ice chips. Saturday Day 2, I did some vegetable broth. But mostly water and ice chips with the occassional popsicle.
Sunday Day 3, I woke up hungry... maybe it was the smell of the turkey that had been baking all night, or maybe just the fact that I hadn't eaten in about 5 days but I was hungry.
I woke up and had some yogurt and helped my mom cook our "Turkmas" dinner - Basically christmas dinner but we have all the thanksgiving foods and it's usually a week before Christmas, so everyone can be there.
Out of habit, as I was making the deviled eggs I tasted the filling, "hmmm that went down easy." Then my sister started serving up her pumpkin bread.. check on the list.. hard breads, hard breads.. hmmm week 3.. ok but it's kinda mushy and soft and oh so pumpkiny, I won't even put butter on it. So she gives me a 1/2 of an end piece. I pinch the corner off, just enough to get the taste in my mouth and let it disolve. I did that twice and then realized it wasn't her "from scratch" bread and threw it out.
Proceeding with cooking the dinner (ok well HELPING, since I was in no shape to cook it like usual.) I made yams, and thought hmmm I could puree these.. wait I don't like candied yams/sweet potatos (I use sweet potato, but make it like yams, tastes better).
But the sugary sweet glaze I made for them was delicious, I kept wanting to "test" it..I fought that battle and won. I know what sugar does to me without a band, not in a hurry to find out what it does to me with one.
Ok so "Turkmas" 2, Me 1...
Feeling the urge of hunger again, I look in the fridge for another yogurt or jello, but I see those deviled eggs. Mmm they're cool now.. I can just eat the filling. Filling of egg #1 gone, filling of egg #2, oh wait hard boiled egg is mushy.. let me see if I can. wait yep I can.
Turkmas 4, me 1...
The crowd gets there and they devoure my sister's homemade peanut butter fudge. I'd been avoiding it, no problem, but when everyone was surrounding the plate and raving about it.. I wanted a taste. I went to pick a lil' piece up and it crumbled. The lapband Gods make an interception.. Turkmas 4, me 1.
Dinner is ready... my mom tells me she made things I could eat.. No mom, technically I'm not supposed to eat it yet, well wait let me just try it and see.
Dinner is served, everyone gets their HUGE plates, I get a cake plate. I take exactly 1/2 teaspoon of all the things I think/know will go down:
1/2 teaspoon of mashed potatos
1/2 teaspoon of stuffing
1/2 teaspoon of gravy or well wait maybe a lil' more.
1/2 teaspoon green bean casserole (french)
1/2 teaspoon pistachio pudding salad
1/2 teaspoon of jello salad (my mom pureed all of the fruit into it so I could eat it and not have to chew or pick it out)
1 itty bitty piece of turkey (about the size of my spoon)
So all in all I have 3-3.5 teaspoons of food on my mini plate. Everyone is looking at me and chuckling telling me, I'm a better person than they are, they just couldn't do it. That they wait all year for this meal.
Umm I know, I cook it... it's freakin' OUTSTANDING.. but some things are more important.
I take my time and try everything on my plate. My once around the plate equaled my brother's first piled on plate time. He says "I'm ready for seconds" and I say me too as I continue to dip the tip of my spoon into the seperate piles for the second time.
About 1/2 way around I've had enough... 1/2 of what I took is now sitting on my plate. I figure if I get hungry I can go back and try more later...
Oddly enough that lil' bit of food, still gave me the itis! Turkmas 10, me 1... lol
I went upstairs and took a nap, woke up two hours later wondering if I missed pie.
Pumpkin, hmmm I just eat the pumpkin part and not the crust...Redi whip too? Yes please...
Turkmas 15, me 1...
All and all I felt good, and I felt MUCH better after eating some real food, I came online and saw how some other people had blended up lasagna and chili, etc.. on day 3 so I felt pretty good about my choices, even if Turkmas kicked my butt... :cursing:
Let me start by saying I love my band and the results. At 3 days shy of being 1 month post-op, I think my band and I have now become "one". I no longer "feel" it or feel concisious of it.
I've won the mental battle and it's been great. I feel great. I constantly find myself looking at food going "Wow that's too much." so portion control isn't really an issue.
I have found though that I need to stick with what works for me. My church has been on a spiritual fast of fruits and veggies. I felt like I was actually gaining weight, and started to see some weight come back in my face. I believe this was because I wasn't getting enough calories to burn or protein. So while I'm still sticking to the fast as much as possible, I've realized that I REALLY need to do what's right for me.
If that means 3 days fasting, 2 days eating, or whatever it is I need to do to complete it I will.
Also now that I'm back on a full schedule of traveling with my clients I've realized how difficult it can be to constantly eat out and stay not only on the fast, but within band friendly foods.
I was working and traveling with clients from Monday straight through til the following Monday. That was ALOT of eating out. ALOT of Cheesecake Factory, Houston's, Bing Crosby's etc.. Lots and lots of lil' eateries between AZ, Cali and everywhere else we went.
I managed to do well at all of them, and oddly enough, nobody ever noticed or mentioned that I never finished a meal and always had left overs.
Since I was eating salad mostly, it was easy to explain not taking them back with me. But some foods not so easy, people look at you crazy like "why aren't you eating that?!?!!??!" Or why are you skipping dessert..etc...
Or my personal favorite because I used to think the same way... "How do you come to the cheesecake factory and NOT get cheesecake?!??!?!?" lol funny how your outlook and priorities change.
In other news: I am READY for my fill on Monday. I don't think I need much of one, as I'm still full off small amounts but I ate bread last night, no problem. I had my initial "full feeling" after eating... waited a lil' while and the bread and butter was CALLING me. Hot crispy on the outside, soft on the inside sourdough and soft butter... I slowly and carefully ate 3 small slices over the course of about an hour (i was at home) but after eating an hour before hand, that's not something I should have been able to do.. so I would definitely say it's time for a fill, and for me, it's coming right on schedule!
Other than that I'm off to verizon for a new phone, since I managed to break mine in half.. then I'll be back to catch up on the blogs. Looks like some of you have been BUSY while I was away.
So last night I joined a friend at her church's "Friday Night Live" - out of sheer coincidence her family and the church they fellowship with have done business with mine so I knew the majority of the Pastors, Apostles, etc...
As with most church "royalty" there's usually a dinner after service where everyone breaks bread and has their fellowship behind closed doors.
Although I'm a leader in my church I am not a minister or anything like that yet. I'm the administrator for my church. Taking direction only from my Pastor's and I direct the teams, ministers, praise, etc... basically I'm like the "manager".
Seeing this particular group of people was awkward because they had an issue with us over money. (How Christian like, right? lol)
Basically my Pastor agreed to bless them for 3 months of friday night services and after the 3 months he would charge his normal fee for speaking engagements. Seems like a fair deal. Evidently not so much, but I digress..
So they invite me to the dinner and I agree as graciously as I could. Although, if I remember right I said "I guess" and then a quick "thank you."
Awkward because 1.) I'm on a fast and 2.) they're supposed to be on a fast and 3.) The food being served was not fast friendly. And 4.) The above mentioned "disagreement" between our churches and 5.) they piled food on my plate like I was eating for 3 people. 6.) Again, aren't we on a fast?!?!?!
So I did my best trying to not be insulting to people, trying to finish what I could and stay as close as I could to staying on my fast...Not only that, but BAND FRIENDLY!
But as it turns out...Everything they had was NOT band friendly. I tried to eat just fruits and veggies...but they looked at me funny for not eating the fried rice, orange chicken and sweet and sour meatballs they had piled on my plate.
Oh and there's cake... oh and hmmm fruit punch, one sip. oh look it's carbonated. UGH.
I left out of there feeling like I was going to bust. The food was all things that would "expand" in my stomach and adding that sip of carbonated fruit punch fizz did NOT help!
The room was darkly lit light they were trying to set some sort of "romantic mood" the kind where you can see your plate, but if there was something wrong with your food, you wouldn't be able to see it. Yeah that dark.
I finished what I could and was SO thankful when they came around to take our plates. I was able to just throw my napkin over the top and act like I'd eaten the portions they'd given me. Even if I mostly just swirled them around on my plate.
Needless to say my band hurts today... not "hurts" but I can "feel" it today.. if I breathe deeply I swear I feel it.. Nothing but liquids today... this is NOT the business...
Next time I'll just say no, instead of "I guess" really who says that anyways???? "I guess" how rude of me... *sigh*
Not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed, never have been. But because my bathing suits are TOO BIG and I don't want to go shop for another one that will be too big in a couple of weeks.. what's a girl to do.. lol
Oh to have such problems LOL... YAY ME!:smile2:
I'm just gonna ask...
Anyone else have intestinal issues since surgery? Gas, where there was none before. Lack of time or warning before the feeling of "having to go" hits you like a ton of bricks, etc???
I NEVER had these types of issues before surgery, ever. I'm not sure what to do or say about it... is there anything to do or say about it? Or is it just a side effect of losing all this weight?
*In my Ben Stein voice* - Anybody???....Anybody??? lol
Ok so it's wishful thinking, but in my quest to find non-dairy smoothies I came up with this one last night... Took a lil' more agave nectar than I would have liked to use but it was good tasting. Not my strawberry shake smoothie good, but still good.
So here we go..
ICE- lots of it (juice only smoothies require more ice than dairy ones) I did 1/2 of the blender, but you could do less and just pour over ice.
1 serving of organic applesauce (unsweetened) I just dumped a serving single cup in there.
2 scoops of vanilla designer whey protein powder (the ala mode lol)
8oz -10 oz of healthy balance apple juice
1 tablespoon (ok it was probably more like 1.5 but I don't measure anything) of agave nectar.
Blend....scrape down sides, blend...and serve.
Enjoy
I've decided In-n-out protein style with no cheese or spread is on my pre-op diet.
Ofcourse I didn't think to remove the cheese or spread until after.. but that's ok...I'm still good with it.
That will be all. :thumbup:
