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About this blog

Excerpts from the life of a woman on a mission

Entries in this blog

 

I love my life!

We hear it all the time... "I love my band", I'm going one further and saying "I love my life!" I've said this a lot prior to the band, but with it I find myself saying it much more often.   That sense of confidence that comes with it, the great feeling of knowing that I'm doing everything I can to be successful and extend the life I love so much and of course, the changes my body is making that make me feel good and seem to be making people compliment me for.   Yesterday was intended to be a very special day for me, and although things didn't go exactly as I had planned, I did have a few interesting surprises.   I have a date for myself every month where I go and get all of my girly things done, mani, pedi, waxing, etc... If you do it on the right day (within the first 3 days of your period) the results will last for 4-6weeks as opposed to 2-3 weeks. Anyways... as I said it was intended to be a special day so I decided to go a step further and get my make-up done by a friend of mine that works at MAC.   Just as we were finishing up, Surprise #1, our mutual friend pops up to come "supervise" to make sure my make-up is right for the evening/event that was supposed to happen and that I'm dressed how she wants me to be dressed lol -ok you'd have to know her to appreciate it lol.   Our friend instructs on the necessary changes for my makeup, more dramatic, more blush, etc... few mins later we're done.. wow it was "pretty" the first time... now it's umm WOW...   Next stop lane bryant, as my friend has decided that what I was planning on wearing wasn't good enough and would be too big, as it seems the majority of my clothes are these days. (YAY!) She decided I needed new clothes. Definitely God's favor as they had just laid out the Icon clearance rack. For those of you that are fashionistas you know that Icon is the upper echelon of Lane Bryant, most stores don't carry the Icon line, you have to order it online and you're going to expect to pay typically around $100 for each piece or more.   Everything was marked down so that the most you would pay is $12.99 per item....WHAT?!?!?! Ok surprise #2! - JACKPOT!!! $300 worth of dresses for only $26.00 later...we decided on two dresses. One sweater cowl neck dress and one cocktail/party/special event dress. Either would have fit the scheduled event.   Shoes to match? Check.. (Really one pair that matches BOTH dresses?!?!?! - YAY for surprise #3) Cheap accessories that look expensive from the skinny girl shops? CHECK! - WHO KNEW??!?! I tend to avoid these shops, no real reason to go in.. Found jewelry in these shops that's nicer than what you find in LB, Avenue and Torrid at a fraction of the cost... $2.90 for a tennis bracelet? 4.90 for a long necklce, etc.. it was great! - Good lookin' out Surprise #4! lol   I get home and get the look together...FIERCE! You couldn't tell me NOTHING... I knew I looked good. And as I came to find out, so did the people around me. LOL... As I was waiting for my companion (before I cancelled (surprise #5 because this is the love of my life who has been away for over a year in iraq) cause he was taking too long - long story involving kids, bedtimes, saying good night and different time zones by the time all of that was done it was now 10pm our time and um I'm going to need to go on a date at a respectable hour, yes yes I know I pushed from lunch to dinner.. but this was too much and too late, but I digress...back to the blog...)   As I was waiting on my love to sort out his family things, I decided since I was already dressed, to go to another mall near my house to see if they had the shoes the other mall didn't have. I go in and who do I run into? My most recent ex-boyfriend! (surprise #6) the store he moonlights in happens to be next to the store I was going to.. but normally he doesn't work on wednesdays... but as fate would have it, he was last night lol. 60lbs lighter, inches smaller, mani'd, pedi'd, waxed and make up done...lookin' SO good.. in my new form fitting dress and shoes, I see him staring as I walk by and his eyes...his eyes all but literally POPPED outta his head, he was so taken aback. YES YES YES!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!! LOL   I ended up going into his store so he could get a better look lol, there's nothing between us, defintely don't want him back, he was a 6 month rebound. But I must admit, I did love his reaction! LOL...Yep I love my life lol !
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

6
 

Eh it's just not the same...

So I had pizza last night.. I was craving it.. (I know I know) I blame the $10 for any large pizza email I got from Pizzahut...anyways I got thin crust thinking this would help with bloating...etc..   Eh it's just not the same.. you ever eat something cause you had a craving and then you're like "eh" this isn't what I was expecting." or "this isn't as good as I thought it would be" - yep totally the reaction I had last night.   Or maybe it's truly that I just don't care for pizza really, and especially pizza hut.. either way I was just about full after a piece, I started to eat another one and I was done.. which makes me glad I didn't get hand tossed but seriously who wants pizza on a cracker? Ick!
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

7
 

$63,468.64

The price tag on my surgery. Nevermind the $800 for my first fill...That my insurance doesn't seem to be covering all of.. Question though. If it's $150 for a fill with no insurance, how is it $800+ with insurance and I'm responsible for $186 of it. HUH WHAT??? :blink: :thumbup:   I think I'm going to have to have a conversation with their billing department because one of these things is not like the other.   Or how do you get the surgery cash for 15K yet my insurance is being charge $63,468.64???? How does that add up? I guess I should be ok with it and grateful it's going to my insurance and not me but REALLY?!??!! $63,468.64??!??!?!
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

7
 

Carb Coma...

So I had a battle with the box of vegetable thins and the box one... *sigh*   But I slept and SLEPT and SLEPT and could totally go back to sleep right now.. I think I'm in a carb coma.. I hadn't had simple carbs in SO long, it started with the bread on monday, then the bread on thursday, and now the crackers on monday/tuesday again. Every time I eat them I get SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sleepy. Guess that's a big hint to STOP eating them huh?   Must become productive....
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

7
 

1/18/10 - 1 month Post-Op, first fill and OMGOSH They FIT!!!

So today is my 1 month post-op and I also received my first fill, and let me tell ya, it came RIGHT ON TIME!   So the first fill was easy, lay back, pillow under your back, cross your arms, do a lil' crunch, relax and done.   The weird part was when she took all of my fluid out to make sure how much I had in me, then added a cc to it.. I could feel it "flush" through my body/band, what I imagine those lil' canisters at the bank would feel like as they get fed through those air tubes. It didn't hurt, it was just a weird sensation.   Moving on to better news... So the other day I had my first non-scale victory (NSV - yeah I'm learning the lingo lol) on a whim I decided to try on my ever so expensive seven jeans that I bought 4 years ago, when Lane Bryant first started selling them. Yes the ones Kimberly Locke modeled with the rhinestones and crystals and tears on them.. Yes those ever so fabulous, expensive and I'm glad they're still in style ones.   Let me say when I bought them in 2005 I was at the smallest I had been in YEARS or almost like ever. When I tried the jeans on I had to POUR myself into them, do the tight jean jump up and down, wiggle and finish with a deep breath in to button them. But I got them to fit, they were tight but they fit, and I figured I would keep working out and they would fit better. They were cut VERY small... I was an 18 or 20 in other jeans but in these jeans I had to buy a 24. The sales girls just smiled and said yeah they're cut REALLY small, be lucky you can fit into them, most people can't. I wore them once, I got "stuck" in them and had to have my brother free me with a pair of pliers as he carefully jimmied the zipper down so I could get out of them.   So back to my "on a whim" moment. So I decide to try the jeans on, as I do every couple of months, in hopes that one time, just one time they'll magically fit. The last time I tried them on they were about 6 inches from buttoning. Hmmm maybe if I wear a long shirt, some rubber bands or my big 80's belt I can pull them off... Yvette you BETTER not walk out of the house in jeans you can't button.. sigh.. the years go by the gap grew from an inch or two to the most recent of 6 inches from closing..   So I decide to check my progress and put the jeans on....THEY FIT... OMFREAKINGOSH!!! THEY FIT!!! and not just FIT but FIT COMFORTABLY!!!!   I have been wearing them pretty much every day since I tried them on on Saturday night. Ok so it's only Monday, doesn't matter... they FIT and I'm wearing them to get my money worth! lol   But all of that being said brings me to what I was told at my appointment today....Drum roll please...   Waist is down 7 inches since surgery one month ago!
 
Weight is down 22.7lbs since surgery one month ago.
 
I've lost 12% of my 66% of "extra weight" and am 90lbs from my doctor's goal for me.
 
My BMI is now in the 40's high 40's but still 40's!
  My doctor says my progress puts me at the 3-4 month post-op mark, and this was done in a month. She was VERY happy for me, and I was VERY happy as well as I fastened my fabulous jeans after my fill lol   I came home and had some soup, then a couple of ours later some applesauce.... about half way through the applesauce I felt I had had "too much" so I know the fill worked...YAY!!!   I'm SO glad, because after eating 2 big tortillas yesterday (bean & cheese burrito and a quesadilla - took me 3 hours or so but I ate it) and the mini loafs of bread that come from the cheesecake factory a couple of days before I was starting to feel like I felt before surgery, so this fill definitely came right on time.. I'll see how this one goes, I think she could have put in another CC, but I'll go back in on the 8th and get another one, I honestly think that will put me in my sweet spot...we'll see. Either way I'm feeling great and I'm loving life. This is THE BEST THING I could have ever done for myself! :confused:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

16
 

Banding, Business, Bread and Blogs!

Let me start by saying I love my band and the results. At 3 days shy of being 1 month post-op, I think my band and I have now become "one". I no longer "feel" it or feel concisious of it.   I've won the mental battle and it's been great. I feel great. I constantly find myself looking at food going "Wow that's too much." so portion control isn't really an issue.   I have found though that I need to stick with what works for me. My church has been on a spiritual fast of fruits and veggies. I felt like I was actually gaining weight, and started to see some weight come back in my face. I believe this was because I wasn't getting enough calories to burn or protein. So while I'm still sticking to the fast as much as possible, I've realized that I REALLY need to do what's right for me.   If that means 3 days fasting, 2 days eating, or whatever it is I need to do to complete it I will.   Also now that I'm back on a full schedule of traveling with my clients I've realized how difficult it can be to constantly eat out and stay not only on the fast, but within band friendly foods.   I was working and traveling with clients from Monday straight through til the following Monday. That was ALOT of eating out. ALOT of Cheesecake Factory, Houston's, Bing Crosby's etc.. Lots and lots of lil' eateries between AZ, Cali and everywhere else we went.   I managed to do well at all of them, and oddly enough, nobody ever noticed or mentioned that I never finished a meal and always had left overs.   Since I was eating salad mostly, it was easy to explain not taking them back with me. But some foods not so easy, people look at you crazy like "why aren't you eating that?!?!!??!" Or why are you skipping dessert..etc...   Or my personal favorite because I used to think the same way... "How do you come to the cheesecake factory and NOT get cheesecake?!??!?!?" lol funny how your outlook and priorities change.   In other news: I am READY for my fill on Monday. I don't think I need much of one, as I'm still full off small amounts but I ate bread last night, no problem. I had my initial "full feeling" after eating... waited a lil' while and the bread and butter was CALLING me. Hot crispy on the outside, soft on the inside sourdough and soft butter... I slowly and carefully ate 3 small slices over the course of about an hour (i was at home) but after eating an hour before hand, that's not something I should have been able to do.. so I would definitely say it's time for a fill, and for me, it's coming right on schedule!   Other than that I'm off to verizon for a new phone, since I managed to break mine in half.. then I'll be back to catch up on the blogs. Looks like some of you have been BUSY while I was away.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

7
 

My new food obsession..

3 weeks post-op today, I feel great, I LOVE my band :thumbup:   I went to lunch with a friend yesterday who's on the spiritual fast with me. We decided to do appetizers and salads.   I got the greek salad no olives or cheese.   He got a ceasar salad and zuccini.   Then I found on the menu what seemed like an "interesting" appetizer... Sweet corn tamale cakes. OMGOSH delicious! Like UNBELIEVABLY delicious. And as I quickly found out, may or may not be considered band friendly lol. They're mushie so they're easy to go down. However, they're corn meal/masa so I'm not sure if what I experienced was them bloating in my stomach or just all that my stoma would allow. I'm going to go with the latter because corn meal doesn't tend to "bloat".   I ate 1 and 1/2 of the cakes (shared) with the salsa, avocado and sauce toppings and I was DONE.. Like DONE DONE... I didn't even touch the greek salad. I had 2 bites left when I got that "full" feeling but I admit, old habits to finish it came up only because it tastes SO good. Sigh.. it's a battle being banded when you're a foodie, but I'm learning and recognizing more and more every day.   So me being me, am on a mission to make a healthier version of them, replacing sugar with agave nectar, butter with, I'm not sure yet because well I LIKE butter lol... but it's not on my fast.   The sauces I can do... well except the one with mayo, I gotta find a way around that one.. maybe use vegan soy mayo and see how it turns out.  
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

7
 

Down 42lbs and counting..

So I had my "official" 2 week post-op check up and I'm down 42lbs. I was just "sure" I'd hit the 50lbs mark but I'll take 42lbs.   This puts me in the 200's a number I haven't seen in ages...I think high school, well and most of 2006. I was in the 200's then that cruise did me in and the scale has been climbing since. But I'm in the 200's and for me is a BIG deal, not as big a deal as the 100's will be but still a huge deal!   I have noticed that my restriction is becoming less. I have 3 cc's in my band currently (put in day of surgery) but I still get very full, off of not much at all. 2 scrambled eggs or 1 packet of oatmeal still sustains me.   Still on the protein shakes, still coming up with crazy new recipes for them like my "apple pie" one I made last night. But regardless of what I eat, I'm at that 42lbs mark, but my dr says it's right on track because that means I'm losing about 2lbs a week now which is what I'm supposed to be losing.   I took my steri-strips off today and I have almost NO scaring. Dr. Nirmul did a good job. the 3 small incisions are invisible, 1 is completely invisible, I'm not even sure they cut there, the one under my breasts is almost invisible and the one on my right side looks like a small healing cat scratch. The port incision is healing nicely and is pink, but will heal quite nicely. I'm very pleased.   I've been distracted for about an hour or two from writing this so I totally forgot what else I was going to add.. so I guess this is a good of place as any to stop...   Oh and in other news, my love interest is coming home EARLY. He wasn't supposed to be home til oct, and I thought I would shock him with the new me... but he'll be home in a matter of weeks, probably just in time for valentine's day. We'll see how it goes. I'm in faith that it will be excellent and he'll just go through this change with me. :thumbup:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

5
 

Apple Pie Protein A'la mode Smoothie

Ok so it's wishful thinking, but in my quest to find non-dairy smoothies I came up with this one last night... Took a lil' more agave nectar than I would have liked to use but it was good tasting. Not my strawberry shake smoothie good, but still good.   So here we go..   ICE- lots of it (juice only smoothies require more ice than dairy ones) I did 1/2 of the blender, but you could do less and just pour over ice.   1 serving of organic applesauce (unsweetened) I just dumped a serving single cup in there.   2 scoops of vanilla designer whey protein powder (the ala mode lol)   8oz -10 oz of healthy balance apple juice   1 tablespoon (ok it was probably more like 1.5 but I don't measure anything) of agave nectar.   Blend....scrape down sides, blend...and serve.   Enjoy
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

1
 

It's contagious...

So after the NYE portion control at the party success...(see previous blog) I went to dinner last night with a group of people from church.   Chain of command is basically My Pastors, Me, the ministers, ushers, etc..   So at the cheesecake factory, of all places I ordered the small plate greek salad with no olives. It was sliced cucumbers, roma tomatoes and some feta cheese over greens.   The lady next to me then orders the same thing, then changes her to the asparagus salad, then her husband who normally gets the regular sized cheese pizza, orders the small pizzette, and so on down the line, with the exception of 2 or 3 people out of 8.   As the course of dinner goes on my Pastor asks us if we're getting cheesecake, everyone looks to me and I say "oh no sir, not on the plan." We walk out, say our goodbyes and go.   Today my Pastor calls me to put the church on a fast until Feb 1st. Nothing but fruits, veggies and protein powder drinks mixed with water.   As you all know this is pretty much how we eat so I just had to laugh a lil' because it's spread like wildfire. I've lost 42lbs + (I'll weigh in today) in the past 5 weeks, a noticeable result and now everyone is on board.   See my band has gotten me healthy, and it's getting everyone else around me healthy as well. Like my Pastor spoke to us about leadership last night, What makes a good leader? Achievements... If you've made achievements people will follow you regardless of your methods.   I chose not to tell people at church that I had the surgery, I didn't want the judgements, food policing and gossip, etc... So I kept it to myself.   I think it's the best thing I could have done because now my choices are influencing and leadings others to make positive changes, so that hopefully they will not get to the point where they feel they HAVE to have the lap-band. I'm in faith that those that need it, will receive it, and those that just need the guidance will receive that as well.   Oh well just thought I'd share.. I think this is a great thing! Kind of like a cleanse no animal products at all for the next 27 days or almost 4 weeks/month.   Soy and almond milk, here I come. Need to keep my protein up.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

6
 

California Omlette - Banded Style

One of my favorite omlettes is what's usually called a California Omlette or a Santa Barbara Omlette.   Typically it has bacon, jack cheese, spinach, avocado, tomato and sour cream/salsa.   Today I made a band friendly version in a scramble that was delicious.   2 eggs 2 pieces turkey lunch meat 1/4 cup fresh baby spinach (half a handful) 1 slice Jack cheese Fresh diced roma tomato Fresh diced avocado   First dice lunch meat and put in pan to warm,as it's warming add preferred method of cooking agent, evoo, butter, etc.. If using a spray, spray the pan first.   Next add baby spinach and allow it to cook down, mixing with the diced turkey meat.   Once spinach is soft and wilted add 2 eggs and scramble the mixture as it's cooking (or pre-scramble eggs in bowl depending on your cooking level) stirring/scrambling constantly will insure soft light fluffy eggs.   Once the eggs are about done add cheese and turn off the heat.. eggs will continue cooking while you mix the cheese into them.   Once cheese is melted plate the eggs and cover with desired amount of diced roma tomato and avocado. (about a table spoon of each is good) mix into eggs and serve.   You can add milk to your eggs for protein, or you can serve with fage plain yogurt as a sour cream subsitute.   Eggs should be soft and moist, not dry and hard.   It will look like a alot of food, but in reality it's about 6oz total. Eating that puts me right at my limit for food and being full.   You can also cut in half and make with 1 egg, 1 meat, 1/2 cheese etc...   Let me know if you try it, and how you like it! :biggrin:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

1
 

When reality strikes...

So last night I spent my NYE at church. We had a great time and as usual a potluck, we tend to have sandwiches as the main course because they're quick, easy and people can do what they want with it, add mayo, etc...   Being banded I now see how much we as a society over eat! Let me explain...   The deli didn't have enough time to make our order but they did have some ready made footlongs, you know the ones made piled high on a whole loaf of french bread? This is the same sandwich we usually order but it's cut in 3 instead of slices. We usually order a 6 foot sub and it's gone within minutes.   So last night we got 6 sandwiches to equal the 6 ft sub we usually buy. They brought it into me to prepare and I looked at the huge hunks of sandwich and now in my banded eye and mind cut them into reasonable portions.. I took every third and cut it into 4 mini sandwiches.   Wouldn't you know, we ended up with 3 unopened sandwiches and leftovers from the first 3.. this has NEVER happened in all of the gatherings we've ever had.   To go a step further, I kept the bread from my mini sandwich, ate the meat, cheese and lettuce and kept the bread. I purposely mashed it and balled it up to see what it would look like chewed and in my stomach.   I was disgusted... me, the bread lover. The person who would get a hot loaf of french bread with some butter from the store and would eat it as a meal. I was so disgusted by the ball of dough now sitting in my hand, to realized that it came from just that lil' mini sandwich and was about the size of my upper stomach/stoma.   I thought about before how I, like everyone else, would take a thick slice of sandwich or two and eat them. I never realized just how much I was putting into my body..   And reality struck me... Yvette THIS is why you're fat. Your whole life you've loved breads, even meals that come on breads, burgers and sandwiches have been the mainstay of my diet. Going upscale? Beef Wellington please... that's right I like my beef wrapped in dough..   Pizza, I don't even like pizza, but I do like the crust covered in parm and pepper flakes.   You name it and if it was doughy deliciousness I've probably eaten it. Carbalicious doughy deliciousness. If it was sugar or frosting coated or filled even better.   I have a completely new outlook, but it's going to be a struggle. Even after being disgusted by the ball of bread, I let out an excited fat girl scream when someone came in with Hot Krispy Kremes... I limited myself to one and enjoyed it, savored it. This must be how the other half lives, because never in my life have I nibbled and noshed on something that tasted so good. If it was good I ate it, ate it quick and as much of it as I could.   Prior to being banded, I have and would have eaten a dozen of hot glazed krispy kremes by myself. Then justify it by not eating anything else the rest of the day or saying "they're just so good and like air, they melt in your mouth"   Gone is that person, it's physically impossible for me to do, but I've also renewed my mind to food, it's purpose and it's effects.   Disgusted by the memory of me going to Krispy Kreme and ordering a dozen or a dozen and half. Eating 6 and feeling full, looking down to see the icing mess on my shirt. Going home or to work with the rest and some how losing track until they were all gone.   Ugh.. seriously it makes me feel a multitude of emotions, sad, disgusted, pathetic, angry, etc.. How do you do that to yourself and not even realize what your doing. What is so wrong in your life that Food is your only comfort? I know the answer to that question and it's not something to put here for all to see but WOW.. Really Yvette???   How far gone do you have to be where you're in relationships with men encourage you to eat like that, or have fights with your husband about food and donuts, and other food related nonsense. What a site that must of been, wolfing down donuts in the parking lot of the Krispy Kreme, I remember that look he gave me, and now 7 yrs later, I get it. It was disgust.   On the upside I've done something about it, so the past can never be again... That's the new reality and it's definitely struck me, whether I was ready for it or not.   2010 here we are....Let's make the most of it. This was my last fat christmas, my last fat NYE, my last fat anything... Life solutions, not resolutions. Do everything in excellence or don't do it at all.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

1
 

Strawberry "Shake" Smoothie Recipe

I made my best protein shake yet today. My friend turned her nose up at first but then decided to try it, "I just want a lil' bit..I might not like it" she says as she tastes it she looks at me surprised and is like OMGOSH this is really good!!! And it's all healthy?!!??!?!" as she darts back toward the blender for more.   It tastes just like a strawberry milkshake and it was delicious! The recipe I'm posting made 2 shakes.. The first time I split it with someone, the 2nd time I've just been sipping it all day... The upside it has SO much protein in it and doesn't taste like it at all.   Ice (I fill the blender about a 3rd of the way) 4 tbsps Fage 0% greek style yogurt (I use the plain but you can use the vanilla) 2 scoops Designer Whey Protein Vanilla 6 frozen strawberries 1 splenda packet 1tbsp Agave Nectar (can use stevia or honey, etc...) 4-8 oz of skim milk (depending on how thick you like yours) Blend and enjoy!     The 2 scoops of protein powder = 36 grams The 4 tbsps (I do heaping ones) = 20 grams The 8 oz of skim milk = 8 grams The strawberries are around 1 gram so we won't count those..   In this one mix you have 64 grams of protein. Easy, delicious and filling.   It's around 500 calories for the entire blenderful, split it and it's 250... either way that's great.   Protein powder 100 calories per scoop serving Skim Milk 100 calories 8 oz serving Fage 0% yogurt 120 calories per 8oz serving Strawberries 50 calories per 12 oz serving Agave Nectar 60 calories per 1tbsp serving   For me that's all I've had today and a sugar free jello... and I've met my protein for the day while staying full and feeling like I have a delicious strawberry milkshake :tt2:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

6
 

In other news: 1 and half chins is better than 3.

LMAO... I took my first progress pic last night and it's the first time I took a pic straight on without the use of "flattering fat girl camera angles" in I can't even tell you how long.   I'm sure you all know the tricks.. Camera UP way UP so you're looking up and the excess chin or in some cases chins are below your jawline and aren't seen in the picture...   Uh huh... famous for those...   That being said I didn't have to do that last night and I'm just one week well 10 days post op.. I'm SO excited!!!   Progress, progress, progress!!! Love to see the changes! :drool:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

3
 

Hopping off the "do it my way train"...

Ok well maybe just for a lil' bit..   So I'm 10 days post op and today was a test for me... and I failed MISERABLY.   I woke up and went to church, got a craving went through the drive through figuring i"ll just eat the meat and the cheese. I get there and I see why I had the craving and why I was drawn to go to this place to help a young man feed his family after a tragedy. But that's another story..   So I go through the drive-thru and make the order...give the guy the food I bought for him and his family and speed off down the street to get to church.. I open the sandwich and go to pull the meat out, as I pull into church ready to set everything up, it's stuck to the bread because of the cheese. Without even thinking I get out of the car and go right into work mode walking with my staff as I'm eating and drinking.. before I realize it I'm a couple of bites I'm in and OMGOSH the pain, the nausea the UGH did I really just eat 1/2 of a mcmuffin??? and NOT chew chew chew it??? OMG I hunch over 1/2 trying to see if it can come back up... it won't come up.. all I want to do is throw up, it won't come up. It's stuck.. the pain, the pressure, the burping, the watering of the mouth that turned to dryness.. sip sip sip of water.. UGH it's stuck.. it's stuck omgosh it's stuck..   GOD PLEASE, I REPENT, I REPENT.. I promise I will follow the dr's order's to the letter if you just make the pain stop and let it get unstuck... I know I got this because of you and it's meant to enable me to do more work for you... and please I repent.. Omgoodness I think I'm going to throw up....     Nothing.... heave.. nothing...heave....Nothing... Urrrrrrrpppp..   NO not a burp, just let it come up PLEASE..   Heave.... urrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp   I feel a lil' better.. but now my mouth is dry, I need water, I need this pain to stop.. omgosh I think I can actually FEEL my band OMG what did I do, what did I do? What did I do??? Please don't slip...please don't slip.. please don't slip... Father I thank you for rapid healing and no incident or harm to come to me or my band in the name of Jesus..   Thank you Father, thank you Jesus... thank you thank you thank you...   Uuuuuuurrrrrrrrrppppp   *Gasp*   Water... Water...Water...     All I want is ice and water for the next few days.. I can actually "FEEL" it all.. it's hot on my insides... I can feel the coolness of the water and ice run through my chest and into my pouch... this is it... blah
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

5
 

Note to self:

Starbursts do not count as "Gummies".   Pasta especially covered in cheesey fattening goodness, in even a small bite or two are NOT your friend.   Sugar cookies dissolve in your mouth before you even realize you put one in there and you're REALLY not supposed to be eating them.   No those ghirardelli chocolate and caramel squares will not just melt and slide...   Christmas parties and potlucks are the devil when you're a day short of being a week out of surgery.   All of the above results in gas, and gas pains coming back even though you've been pain free for a week.   Today I will do liquids all day, until dinner and then I will be VERY VERY VERY careful and then go back on to liquids to repair any damage I did last night... UGH...
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

3
 

Uck...

OMGOODNESS.. scrambled eggs and spinach were NOT a good idea. OMGOODNESS if I ever wondered if I had restriction since surgery umm yeah no need to wonder.. OMGOSH... ugh.. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY....   I almost just want to throw it up... but I distain throwing up... I can't do it.. ugh... OMGOSH when will this pass???
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

1
 

I've been a bad, bad girl....

So Diane from True Results calls me today to follow up on how I'm doing. I tell her I think I'm doing great and seem to be doing better than most.   We go over incisions, etc... she agrees. Then she says do you have any questions. So I say well yes actually I do, why is it I'm supposed to be be on liquids when I can eat things like chicken salad as long as I chew it up. Her normally friendly up beat voice changes into this motherly tone "Now Yvette, we went over this, you don't want anything to get stuck, you're still swollen and you don't know what will happen."   "Ok ok, but I was reading on lapbandtalk.com and other people..." she stops me short - "This isn't about other people it's about YOU so you need to do what your doctor told YOU to do. If you want to be on full liquids fine, but don't go eating any meat or vegetables" she says sternly.   "So you're saying I probably shouldn't be eating cream of chicken and mushroom soup together?" - Silence on the phone.   "Hello"....   "Yvette we've been over this, no meat, no vegetables and NO chicken salad!"   Sigh....   Mmmm yogurt!
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

4
 

Day 4, pants, work and the shopping trip.

Today is day 4, I did entirely too much. My port incision feels tight and pulled like I may have done something to myself. Could have been when the cart rolled into me, could have been the pants, either way.. I will rest up for the rest of the day.   Today I woke up and had yogurt for breakfast, that kept me full, but I decided I needed a protein shake to go all day. When I got home from my moms, I did some work, and got dressed. I put on the loosest but still cute and professional outfit I could find, luckily for me I work from home for the most part but I did have appointments out today.   I made my shake to go and went off to my first appointment. Everything was fine until I had to follow him, he walked what seemed to me as "REALLY FAST" normally I keep up with him no problem. But I could feel my stomach tightening, gas? pain? pulling? dunno.. just make a joke so he'll slow down.. joke joke, ok I got nothing.. Sorry if I can't keep up with you today, just had surgery. "Oh ok" he says as if I had just said there was paper in the fax machine.. like umm ok.. awkward but whatever...   Finish with him and on to the next, I walk into the building and the smelll makes me nauseated.. umm ok gotta go... back to my car, driving driving driving.. trusty shake by my side.. wait sitting sitting sitting, but these are my big pants, why are they digging into me right there.. ahhh ok there we go..   Whole Foods, they have the BIG thing of Fage yogurt on sale for 6.99... yogurt got it, wait what's this brand it has 24 grams of protein, WOW.. hmmm ok.. let me try this one too, oh what else do they have.. An hour later.... on to the next place.   By the time I'm driving to the next place I'm nauseated from the gas pressure and I think I just did too much, lifting a grocery bag, walking around for an hour, etc.. but I still need some groceries.. Let me go to the store on the way home.   I get to my street.. I think I can..I think I can.. I go straight instead of turning, I pull into the parking lot and I sit in the car feeling wiped out but trying to psych myself up.. wait what do I even need again? Oh that's right SOUP!   I walk in, as normal as I could and see the motorized cart, I jump in, screw it, I need it.. MEEP MEEP!   I get my shopping done with ease, but I bought too much, how am I gonna get this home? sigh.. I drive the cart out to my car, put the items in the front seat. Go to drive the cart back into the store and it stalls going up the lil' incline and pushes the full force/weight of it onto my stomach.. OUCH.. the guy from inside comes from outside to help, and he yells at his female co-worker who is standing less than a foot from me, for not helping me. I don't necessarily agree with HOW he said it, but i'm glad he said it so I didn't have to.   I come home and pull out the light things, the rest can wait.. inside groceries put away as much as possible, pants off.. ahhhh hmm I'm hungry... WOW that was the BEST cream of chicken and mushroom soup I've ever had in my whole life.. I would hurt someone for some pizza right now.. I don't even like pizza.. but I do like the crust.. mmmm   Soup.. delicious.. couple hours later, I wasn't hungry but because I knew it was in there I had some chicken salad.. I wanted to see how it went down, how hard it was to chew, etc.. all in all I had about 1 tablespoon of it, maybe a lil' less. Went down well, tasted even better... tomorrow I'll eat that.. tonight is my first night home, my first night sleeping in a bed, I layed on my bed at my moms but it was too high and hard to get up and down from, the couch, too cushy, the recliner, just right... so I stayed and slept in that recliner 95% of the time..   So now I'm in bed laying on my side.. wanting to roll onto my stomach and just SLEEP a good sleep..   on the upside NO pain meds today, all systems are GO and now I'm just tuckered out.. so with that I will say good night world. :cursing:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

6
 

Banding, Good Drugs and Turkmas!

Ok so Friday 12/18/09 I got my band, I woke up going "OMG WHAT DID I DO TO MYSELF" as the pain kicked in. I'm not sure WHO lied and said it's painless, and you could totally be back to work on monday, but somebody did.   I think compared to most I'm doing relatively well. My uncomfortableness (is that a word? wait it is now) is mostly from over doing it today and gas. Have I mentioned how much I distain gas??? like it's a serious pet peeve of mine when people burp or pass gas in other ways without excusing themselves from the room first, or worse do it and think it's funny. I think I'm emotionally scarred from all the belching lol. As I hid in my mom's room away from everyone but her, just repeating excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, over and over again. So much so she was like just stop saying it lol.   Moving forward, I don't remember most of Friday. Yelling at the nurse, telling her to just stop talking. My friend putting me in the car to take me home, and then hours later my mom coming to rescue and taking me home with her. Don't remember much of that either. But I remember glimpses of it. YAY FOR GOOD DRUGS!   Never would I ever tell anyone to do this as an "outpatient" I would suggest if you have the option to stay in the hospitial over night, that you STAY.   Friday Day 1, I didn't eat anything, just water and ice chips. Saturday Day 2, I did some vegetable broth. But mostly water and ice chips with the occassional popsicle.   Sunday Day 3, I woke up hungry... maybe it was the smell of the turkey that had been baking all night, or maybe just the fact that I hadn't eaten in about 5 days but I was hungry.   I woke up and had some yogurt and helped my mom cook our "Turkmas" dinner - Basically christmas dinner but we have all the thanksgiving foods and it's usually a week before Christmas, so everyone can be there.   Out of habit, as I was making the deviled eggs I tasted the filling, "hmmm that went down easy." Then my sister started serving up her pumpkin bread.. check on the list.. hard breads, hard breads.. hmmm week 3.. ok but it's kinda mushy and soft and oh so pumpkiny, I won't even put butter on it. So she gives me a 1/2 of an end piece. I pinch the corner off, just enough to get the taste in my mouth and let it disolve. I did that twice and then realized it wasn't her "from scratch" bread and threw it out.   Proceeding with cooking the dinner (ok well HELPING, since I was in no shape to cook it like usual.) I made yams, and thought hmmm I could puree these.. wait I don't like candied yams/sweet potatos (I use sweet potato, but make it like yams, tastes better).   But the sugary sweet glaze I made for them was delicious, I kept wanting to "test" it..I fought that battle and won. I know what sugar does to me without a band, not in a hurry to find out what it does to me with one.   Ok so "Turkmas" 2, Me 1...   Feeling the urge of hunger again, I look in the fridge for another yogurt or jello, but I see those deviled eggs. Mmm they're cool now.. I can just eat the filling. Filling of egg #1 gone, filling of egg #2, oh wait hard boiled egg is mushy.. let me see if I can. wait yep I can.   Turkmas 4, me 1...   The crowd gets there and they devoure my sister's homemade peanut butter fudge. I'd been avoiding it, no problem, but when everyone was surrounding the plate and raving about it.. I wanted a taste. I went to pick a lil' piece up and it crumbled. The lapband Gods make an interception.. Turkmas 4, me 1.   Dinner is ready... my mom tells me she made things I could eat.. No mom, technically I'm not supposed to eat it yet, well wait let me just try it and see.   Dinner is served, everyone gets their HUGE plates, I get a cake plate. I take exactly 1/2 teaspoon of all the things I think/know will go down: 1/2 teaspoon of mashed potatos 1/2 teaspoon of stuffing 1/2 teaspoon of gravy or well wait maybe a lil' more. 1/2 teaspoon green bean casserole (french) 1/2 teaspoon pistachio pudding salad 1/2 teaspoon of jello salad (my mom pureed all of the fruit into it so I could eat it and not have to chew or pick it out) 1 itty bitty piece of turkey (about the size of my spoon)   So all in all I have 3-3.5 teaspoons of food on my mini plate. Everyone is looking at me and chuckling telling me, I'm a better person than they are, they just couldn't do it. That they wait all year for this meal.   Umm I know, I cook it... it's freakin' OUTSTANDING.. but some things are more important.   I take my time and try everything on my plate. My once around the plate equaled my brother's first piled on plate time. He says "I'm ready for seconds" and I say me too as I continue to dip the tip of my spoon into the seperate piles for the second time.   About 1/2 way around I've had enough... 1/2 of what I took is now sitting on my plate. I figure if I get hungry I can go back and try more later...   Oddly enough that lil' bit of food, still gave me the itis! Turkmas 10, me 1... lol   I went upstairs and took a nap, woke up two hours later wondering if I missed pie.   Pumpkin, hmmm I just eat the pumpkin part and not the crust...Redi whip too? Yes please...   Turkmas 15, me 1...   All and all I felt good, and I felt MUCH better after eating some real food, I came online and saw how some other people had blended up lasagna and chili, etc.. on day 3 so I felt pretty good about my choices, even if Turkmas kicked my butt... :cursing:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

5
 

This is it....

Less than 4 hours til I go in... I'm still up, not tired, not anxious, not scared, just have lots to do before I go in since I know I'll be down most of tomorrow and Sat.   Finishing up cleaning and doing some laundry. More I do now, less I'll have to do after. I should have cleaned my room this week but I didn't was busy with other things.. If I have time I'll get to it before I go.. Well whatever I can do for the next 2 hours.. I gotta shower at 5 or 5:30, then prayer conference call from 6-7.. by the time I'm off the call I'll be at the surgery center. So umm yeah. I keep feeling like there's something I'm forgetting, but there's not.   CPAP machine that I've never used (Check in box still) Medicines (Check) Loose fitting clothes (check) Lipgloss (Check) I should have got a pedicure.. I need a pedicure, I've been putting it off.. UGH.. I could do the paint over, but that's just tacky...sigh   Ok Kitchen clean, office clean, living room working on it, guest bathroom done, just my room, bathroom and the rest of the living room to finish. WOO HOO..   Then shower and be ready to go. I wonder why I didn't get any "pre-surgery" don'ts as far as like lotion, etc... I have coconut oil in my hair...it's not going anywhere...   I've already used a gas x-strip... I think my body doesn't know what to do with itself, gas in my chest, I guess from that "Whey Up" energy drink... If you haven't tried them you should 20gms of protein low sugar no carb. If you can drink a 5 hour energy drink, you can drink this, tastes about the same to me.   Let's see whatelse... I guess that's all for now.. going in.. see you on the other side. I'll be praying and confessing over myself until it happens. I confess that all goes well, that I come out of surgery without incident. That I experience rapid recovery and healing with no sickness and great success, in Jesus name...   Ok let me go be productive. I'm sure I'll be back later to fill you all in or document it for myself here in my blog.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

4
 

I think I love you from head to toe..

I think what's different about me and most people here is I love myself, maybe a lil' too much. I don't aspire to be thin, I don't want to be skinny. I love my curves, my shape, me. I'm an hourglass, maybe the big ben of hourglasses but an hourglass nonetheless.   Part genes part hard work, regardless of how much I weigh I still have a "shape" and it's not just round. When I lost weight before I kept the same shape, just a smaller version of it. I'm in faith that the same thing will happen now. I like me, I like my big butt, musclar and powerful legs, I like my arms, my face (minus the double chin lol) and my breasts. YES there's room for improvement, that's why I'm doing this.   But I just don't look in the mirror and think "ugh" like some of the people I've talked to on here do. We're all beautiful in our own way and pardon the pun but weigh, as well.   300, 200 or 150 I'm still fly. I'm still beautiful, I'm still me. And because of that I think this journey will be easy for me. Self love is what it takes.   Yes I could sit and point out my double chin, my backfat, how the tops of my thighs aren't so solid any more, but hey I can still wear a skirt or bathing suit an nobody really notices.. I could point out how I have a stomach, that thankfully is soft so people don't mistake me for being pregnant I could point out how my upper arm is a lil' loose as I age, I like to think its from all of the beauty waving I did lol...j/k   But point all of that out wouldn't do me any good, besides it doesn't define me. I have always been and will probably always be a plus sized woman. Yes yes, I know we all want to be skinny, yeah not me. I'm just not part of that crowd. People keep making comments to me about "You're so pretty, imagine what you'll look like after" - Fa' real? I mean really?? was that supposed to be a compliment? I look pretty freakin' good now, and I'm not sure the world is ready for a skinny Yvette LMAO.. Ok maybe that's just funny between me and my BFF.. lmao.. but I digress.. I'm just saying.. if we love ourselves it makes the journey easier.. If you're not constantly jumping on the scale, getting caught up with who from your surgery month is losing more than you or whatever the situation is, you're bound to succeed and do it with ease.   Excuse the outfit, this was takin' before a "trailer park party" but as I was going through old pics I figured I'd stop and show the world what 5'5 315lbs looks like on me...
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

4
 

My underwear are too big, and other GOOD problems to have lol

Pre-band but losing and my underwear are entirely too big. Part of me wants to go buy new ones, but then part of me is like wait, we get banded on Friday, let's see what happens after that. lol   This may be an overshare but I think it's a good problem to have.   In other news, other items of clothing and now loose and too big, my one time favorite fitted t-shirt is fitted no more.. YAY!   Well I think, on the upside I get to go shopping. On the double upside, my mother goes through periods of buying everything I buy clothing wise, soooo I can just go into her closet since she's smaller than me and keep my cute outfits LOL.. well for a few sizes anyways, until I get to a size 18, then I'll HAVE to go buy stuff. In a 22 now, so it won't be long... but either way it's still some cushion. YAY a good problem to have.   I'm constantly hungry...but that's because my metabolism is working again, YAY! Another good problem to have..   I'm sure I'll think of more, I'm hungry time for a shake..
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

3
 

M.I.A., opinions, lies and more.

Ok so I've been MIA for a minute, I needed some time to think about everything that I'm going through, is this what's really right for me.   Two of the people I respect most in the world have voiced their opinions on my surgery. My mother has voiced the same and so forth. They all say the same thing "Do what you want to do, but you can do it on your own, so you don't really need to do this."   I went from 430+ down to 287. The plus is because I couldn't weigh myself for a long time before that. So I lost that weight and have kept the bulk of it off.   I got into a long distance relationship for 2 yrs and he was jealous of me going to the gym, hearing the guys make comments, saying, hi, flirting, etc...So I spent 2 yrs of my life on the phone, laying around.. and packed weight back on reaching back up to 330lbs.   I started to diet and got fed up with the up and down losing the same 30-35lbs, especially when I can gain and lose 15lbs in just a weeks time. So I decided to make yet another appointment to go see about the lapband.   I've been researching this for 5 yrs...on and off, back and forth. Listening to everyone else's opinions and thoughts on it, wait til you have kids, you can do it on your own, etc...   Thing is, I'm tired of waiting. I've been a size 14 or bigger since I was 8 yrs old. Yes 8 as in eight, not a typo.   And yes I know people look at me and they think "Oh you're not that big." fact is I am, the numbers don't lie. I'm mostly muscle and I'm solid, which is why most people guess me anywhere around 200-250lbs if they guess my weight. And I'm wide front to back, not side to side.   At my pre-op visits people always comment on how they thought I was post-op and would say things like "wow I would like to have your shape/figure when I'm done." - Umm k that's great and I appreciate the compliment. However, I'm PRE-OP.   So all of that being said, I had to take few days to get my mind right, and not be here and caught up in all of it.   My Pastor voiced his concern and doesn't think I should do it. His wife (also my Pastor) said the same. My Mother, my friends, etc...   So now I feel like I'm being forced to lie, well not lie, just not tell anyone. Which I wasn't really doing anyways. I think I told 5 or 6 people total and 4 out of those 5 or 6 have said something negative about it and tried persuade me not to do it.   So I sat and thought, ok do I really want to do this? Less than a week from surgery, do I really want to walk away from this?   I couldn't really bring it here until my mind was made up. I know there are so many people here who are waiting, trying to get approved, etc..and here I am approved, scheduled and thinking about walking away.   My mind is made up, I'll be doing it on Friday. No more, no less and more importantly nobody's business.   I'll have church on Thursday and see my Pastor, Friday is Surgery and then I'll see his wife on Sunday. I'll have friday and saturday to recoup and nobody will know the difference.   I'll see my mom Friday after surgery. She knows I'm doing it, even though she thinks I should wait she's supporting whatever it is I think I need to do. But everybody else doesn't need to know.   I'm sure some of you are like well just miss church or whatever...but I can't. I'm the church administrator and assistant to my Pastors so I have to be there. Be available to pick them up from the airport, check them into the hotel, etc..whatever needs to be done.   I'm pretty sure I can pull it off without anyone noticing, the only issue I may have is luggage, I can't lift anything over 15lbs for the next 3-4 weeks. I think I'll be ok for this week, as the only trip before the end of the year is this Sunday and she'll be coming from San Diego with just a carry on...for an hour or two... By the time I see them after the new year, I'll be healed up for the most part.   In the stress of this I ended up cheating on my pre-op diet 2 days in a row ok well more like 1.5.. sunday morning I had a bagel AND a cheese danish with a yoplait and some fruit.   Then yesterday I had supreme croissant from jack in the box with the intent of just eating the egg and meat out of the center.. yeah no, ate it all oh and tacos.. I wanted to have those greasy best thing you ever at at 2am after you've been out drinking all night tacos. But oddly enough they don't taste as good when you're sober and it's it's 12 in the afternoon lol.   Then I had the weirdest craving for chicken salad, which isn't too bad, but the box of wheat thins I ate the chicken salad on, umm yeah that was kinda bad. So anyways - that's that.. That's where I've been. But my mind is made up, I'm on track.. basically 2 more days, 3 more sleeps and it's here. WOW.   Father I thank you for the opportunity of new life, best life. I thank you for rapid recovery and healing. I thank you for a solid mind and unwaivering spirit. I thank you for all you've done for me in the past and all that you will do for me in the future. You are Alpha and Omega and I give you all the Glory. Amen.
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

4
 

After careful consideration...

I've decided In-n-out protein style with no cheese or spread is on my pre-op diet.   Ofcourse I didn't think to remove the cheese or spread until after.. but that's ok...I'm still good with it.   That will be all. :thumbup:
Yvette1026

Yvette1026

5

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