That's what I heard today! LOL - it was like music to my ears. As the rest of the group chimed in on how much I'm losing. YAY ME - YAY MY BAND... Have I mentioned how much I love my band? lol
I went to feed the homeless this morning and one of my staff members from church walked right past me - then stopped drew back with a stunned expression and said "Oh HIIII" I just said hi back and went on about what I was doing. Then later at choir practice, the same lady was said "I'm sorry about early, you're losing so much weight I almost didn't recognize you." Then the rest of the ladies chimed in as well... HAPPY DAY!!! HAPPY ME...HAPPY BAND! YAY FOR MY BAND! :mad:
So after 5 or 6 fills (I forget which, I could be lying, maybe 3 or 4, ok 5 whatever) I have yet to TRULY feel restriction, it works for a day or so then eh I could really eat what I wanted it, if I wanted to... I finally.. finally have restriction and this couldn't be better after a 15lbs gain in the last month - my doctor says not to worry because it's muscle - my measurements are way down... so they say there's nothing to "do" per say besides eat right and exercise, which I'm doing. But I gotta admit I was upset to see the scale going UP, but I think it'll be on it's way back down here.. I have no appetite.. FINALLY! YAY RESTRICTION!!!!
If you follow my blog you know that I had an affair with Ronald under the glow of his golden arches for years. Even though I knew he wasn't good for me and I shouldn't be there, he was my old comfortable lover that knew how to do everything I liked just right.
I'll admit I've visited my old flame a couple of times since my banding mostly due to lack of time/necessity during a month long moving process with a BUSY schedule.. I know I could have made better choices but I didn't.
I came across this and now I know... WOW
Take the next 5 mins and see this below and you'll figure out how much damage we've done with every visit... never again.. NEVER AGAIN..
I am not the person who obsesses and stresses over the scale, never really have been. In fact I don't weigh myself unless I'm going for a fill appointment. But I won't lie, the entire 12-24 hours before my appointment I stress out. Omgoodness did I lose? What have I eaten since my last appointment? Ugh I shouldn't of had those.. I do all these stressing just to go and realize that YES I have lost weight (even if it's just 7lbs in a month - it's still a loss, even if it were just 1 or 2.. I'm GOOD with that) but I've come to realize that honestly NONE of that matters to me. It's the NSVs or Non-scale victories that matter most to me.
When I see random people from my past and they can't get over how great I look. When I go to put on clothes and they're literally falling off me. When I put on something that was tight or didn't fit and it's now loose on me. That's what matters. When I look in the mirror and I like what I see. When I look in the mirror and actually SEE parts of me that I hadn't seen in awhile because it was covered with a roll. When I look in the mirror and there's definition and tones in muscles and legs, defined waist, stomach getting smaller, my incision sites coming closer together as my stomach and fat shrinks.
That I have more energy. Can cross my legs, walk miles, run and play with kids for hours, have a "healthy glow" about me.. That *I* am getting healthy, completely healthy for ME. That's what I care about. That's the result I'm looking for. So in light of all of that.. EFF THE SCALE! :thumbup:
Can I just put it out there how happy I am that when I get on the scale it no longer has to be moved to the 300 mark...that it can start at 250 and I'm almost to the point of it being able to start at 200...lil' things make me happy.
I went to the gym yesterday and had to weigh in for a training session and for the first time in a long time I didn't have to tell them "Keep going" as they adjusted the weight lol... YAY ME! I love my band!
Is what I find myself saying about food all the time almost on a daily basis!
Something that once almost ruled my life is now so far removed. I eat because I "NEED" to now instead of because I WANT to, don't get me wrong I still enjoy a DELICIOUS meal and cooking but prior to my surgery I never understood how people could say "Oh I forgot about that" when it came to food.
Like bringing in something like donuts or mcdonalds to work, the people who take a bite or don't even open it and just leave it on their desk for the day. I would always say something to them in a joking manner to let them know um HEY it's there and YOU need to eat it!
But now I'm that person. I don't get it, but I am. Food no longer rules me and it's SO liberating. I keep finding things in my bag that people have given me like candy, chips, snack bars, etc... I just throw it in my bag and days later I'm like "Oh yeah..."
Yesterday I was at a festival and I didn't go to ANY of the food booths *GASP*, even the one vendor who was giving away FREE cake.. yeah I know.. CAKE.. and I LOVE CAKE.. This morning, I woke up a lil' hungry and was like MAN I FORGOT ABOUT THAT CAKE!!!! lol
It feels SO good, so so good to just be you and not you with food. To be able to eat a few bites and put something up and know it's ok if you want more it's there if not, that's ok too. I spent so much of my life consuming food while it was obviously consuming me. This is just AMAZING! So glad I did this for myself!
So since I'm not eating as much... I've figured I better put my mouth to use in other ways.
I've started singing again... (Uh huh what were you thinking?!???! lol)
Something I've ALWAYS loved to do and have done forever.. I stopped singing right around 21 and now 12 yrs later, a lot of weight gain and more importantly loss later here I am.
There's truth to the saying "If you don't use it, you lose it" though.. but here I am just singing away trying to get some of it back. It's been interesting.. I joined an online karaoke site and it's the most hysterical thing, you can be TERRIBLE and people will give you 5 stars, right now I have a couple of songs in the site's "Top recordings" trust me when I tell you they're not good but hey I'll take the ego boost.
Anyways just one of my new hobbies I've picked up now that I'm feeling great about myself.. what interesting thing have you done or gotten back into since surgery?
Ok so Friday 12/18/09 I got my band, I woke up going "OMG WHAT DID I DO TO MYSELF" as the pain kicked in. I'm not sure WHO lied and said it's painless, and you could totally be back to work on monday, but somebody did.
I think compared to most I'm doing relatively well. My uncomfortableness (is that a word? wait it is now) is mostly from over doing it today and gas. Have I mentioned how much I distain gas??? like it's a serious pet peeve of mine when people burp or pass gas in other ways without excusing themselves from the room first, or worse do it and think it's funny. I think I'm emotionally scarred from all the belching lol. As I hid in my mom's room away from everyone but her, just repeating excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, over and over again. So much so she was like just stop saying it lol.
Moving forward, I don't remember most of Friday. Yelling at the nurse, telling her to just stop talking. My friend putting me in the car to take me home, and then hours later my mom coming to rescue and taking me home with her. Don't remember much of that either. But I remember glimpses of it. YAY FOR GOOD DRUGS!
Never would I ever tell anyone to do this as an "outpatient" I would suggest if you have the option to stay in the hospitial over night, that you STAY.
Friday Day 1, I didn't eat anything, just water and ice chips. Saturday Day 2, I did some vegetable broth. But mostly water and ice chips with the occassional popsicle.
Sunday Day 3, I woke up hungry... maybe it was the smell of the turkey that had been baking all night, or maybe just the fact that I hadn't eaten in about 5 days but I was hungry.
I woke up and had some yogurt and helped my mom cook our "Turkmas" dinner - Basically christmas dinner but we have all the thanksgiving foods and it's usually a week before Christmas, so everyone can be there.
Out of habit, as I was making the deviled eggs I tasted the filling, "hmmm that went down easy." Then my sister started serving up her pumpkin bread.. check on the list.. hard breads, hard breads.. hmmm week 3.. ok but it's kinda mushy and soft and oh so pumpkiny, I won't even put butter on it. So she gives me a 1/2 of an end piece. I pinch the corner off, just enough to get the taste in my mouth and let it disolve. I did that twice and then realized it wasn't her "from scratch" bread and threw it out.
Proceeding with cooking the dinner (ok well HELPING, since I was in no shape to cook it like usual.) I made yams, and thought hmmm I could puree these.. wait I don't like candied yams/sweet potatos (I use sweet potato, but make it like yams, tastes better).
But the sugary sweet glaze I made for them was delicious, I kept wanting to "test" it..I fought that battle and won. I know what sugar does to me without a band, not in a hurry to find out what it does to me with one.
Ok so "Turkmas" 2, Me 1...
Feeling the urge of hunger again, I look in the fridge for another yogurt or jello, but I see those deviled eggs. Mmm they're cool now.. I can just eat the filling. Filling of egg #1 gone, filling of egg #2, oh wait hard boiled egg is mushy.. let me see if I can. wait yep I can.
Turkmas 4, me 1...
The crowd gets there and they devoure my sister's homemade peanut butter fudge. I'd been avoiding it, no problem, but when everyone was surrounding the plate and raving about it.. I wanted a taste. I went to pick a lil' piece up and it crumbled. The lapband Gods make an interception.. Turkmas 4, me 1.
Dinner is ready... my mom tells me she made things I could eat.. No mom, technically I'm not supposed to eat it yet, well wait let me just try it and see.
Dinner is served, everyone gets their HUGE plates, I get a cake plate. I take exactly 1/2 teaspoon of all the things I think/know will go down:
1/2 teaspoon of mashed potatos
1/2 teaspoon of stuffing
1/2 teaspoon of gravy or well wait maybe a lil' more.
1/2 teaspoon green bean casserole (french)
1/2 teaspoon pistachio pudding salad
1/2 teaspoon of jello salad (my mom pureed all of the fruit into it so I could eat it and not have to chew or pick it out)
1 itty bitty piece of turkey (about the size of my spoon)
So all in all I have 3-3.5 teaspoons of food on my mini plate. Everyone is looking at me and chuckling telling me, I'm a better person than they are, they just couldn't do it. That they wait all year for this meal.
Umm I know, I cook it... it's freakin' OUTSTANDING.. but some things are more important.
I take my time and try everything on my plate. My once around the plate equaled my brother's first piled on plate time. He says "I'm ready for seconds" and I say me too as I continue to dip the tip of my spoon into the seperate piles for the second time.
About 1/2 way around I've had enough... 1/2 of what I took is now sitting on my plate. I figure if I get hungry I can go back and try more later...
Oddly enough that lil' bit of food, still gave me the itis! Turkmas 10, me 1... lol
I went upstairs and took a nap, woke up two hours later wondering if I missed pie.
Pumpkin, hmmm I just eat the pumpkin part and not the crust...Redi whip too? Yes please...
Turkmas 15, me 1...
All and all I felt good, and I felt MUCH better after eating some real food, I came online and saw how some other people had blended up lasagna and chili, etc.. on day 3 so I felt pretty good about my choices, even if Turkmas kicked my butt... :cursing:
So I had my "official" 2 week post-op check up and I'm down 42lbs. I was just "sure" I'd hit the 50lbs mark but I'll take 42lbs.
This puts me in the 200's a number I haven't seen in ages...I think high school, well and most of 2006. I was in the 200's then that cruise did me in and the scale has been climbing since. But I'm in the 200's and for me is a BIG deal, not as big a deal as the 100's will be but still a huge deal!
I have noticed that my restriction is becoming less. I have 3 cc's in my band currently (put in day of surgery) but I still get very full, off of not much at all. 2 scrambled eggs or 1 packet of oatmeal still sustains me.
Still on the protein shakes, still coming up with crazy new recipes for them like my "apple pie" one I made last night. But regardless of what I eat, I'm at that 42lbs mark, but my dr says it's right on track because that means I'm losing about 2lbs a week now which is what I'm supposed to be losing.
I took my steri-strips off today and I have almost NO scaring. Dr. Nirmul did a good job. the 3 small incisions are invisible, 1 is completely invisible, I'm not even sure they cut there, the one under my breasts is almost invisible and the one on my right side looks like a small healing cat scratch. The port incision is healing nicely and is pink, but will heal quite nicely. I'm very pleased.
I've been distracted for about an hour or two from writing this so I totally forgot what else I was going to add.. so I guess this is a good of place as any to stop...
Oh and in other news, my love interest is coming home EARLY. He wasn't supposed to be home til oct, and I thought I would shock him with the new me... but he'll be home in a matter of weeks, probably just in time for valentine's day. We'll see how it goes. I'm in faith that it will be excellent and he'll just go through this change with me. :thumbup:
Smashburger 1- Lapband 0
UGH I haven't been stuck or had an episode since the first week - today is my 3 month anniversary - wow I sound like the annoying desperate girl who counts every day in a relationship lol - anyways I decided to grab a smashburger (if you haven't had one - TRY IT - SOOOOO GOOD) for dinner. I was in a hurry and multitasking and evidently ate too fast or didn't chew enough because OMGOSH... STUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Trying to be good I didn't order a drink with my meal, just the burger, no fries or anything. Man let me tell ya I couldn't get to the nearest drink fast enough.. OMGoodness... Thankfully I wasn't THAT stuck, to the point a drink didn't help.. I have a fill tomorrow scheduled for tomorrow as well, but after this lil' epidose ummm yeah we'll have to see lol.
I've decided In-n-out protein style with no cheese or spread is on my pre-op diet.
Ofcourse I didn't think to remove the cheese or spread until after.. but that's ok...I'm still good with it.
That will be all. :thumbup:
Ok well maybe just for a lil' bit..
So I'm 10 days post op and today was a test for me... and I failed MISERABLY.
I woke up and went to church, got a craving went through the drive through figuring i"ll just eat the meat and the cheese. I get there and I see why I had the craving and why I was drawn to go to this place to help a young man feed his family after a tragedy. But that's another story..
So I go through the drive-thru and make the order...give the guy the food I bought for him and his family and speed off down the street to get to church.. I open the sandwich and go to pull the meat out, as I pull into church ready to set everything up, it's stuck to the bread because of the cheese. Without even thinking I get out of the car and go right into work mode walking with my staff as I'm eating and drinking.. before I realize it I'm a couple of bites I'm in and OMGOSH the pain, the nausea the UGH did I really just eat 1/2 of a mcmuffin??? and NOT chew chew chew it??? OMG I hunch over 1/2 trying to see if it can come back up... it won't come up.. all I want to do is throw up, it won't come up. It's stuck.. the pain, the pressure, the burping, the watering of the mouth that turned to dryness.. sip sip sip of water.. UGH it's stuck.. it's stuck omgosh it's stuck..
GOD PLEASE, I REPENT, I REPENT.. I promise I will follow the dr's order's to the letter if you just make the pain stop and let it get unstuck... I know I got this because of you and it's meant to enable me to do more work for you... and please I repent.. Omgoodness I think I'm going to throw up....
Nothing.... heave.. nothing...heave....Nothing... Urrrrrrrpppp..
NO not a burp, just let it come up PLEASE..
Heave.... urrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp
I feel a lil' better.. but now my mouth is dry, I need water, I need this pain to stop.. omgosh I think I can actually FEEL my band OMG what did I do, what did I do? What did I do??? Please don't slip...please don't slip.. please don't slip... Father I thank you for rapid healing and no incident or harm to come to me or my band in the name of Jesus..
Thank you Father, thank you Jesus... thank you thank you thank you...
Uuuuuuurrrrrrrrrppppp
*Gasp*
Water... Water...Water...
All I want is ice and water for the next few days.. I can actually "FEEL" it all.. it's hot on my insides... I can feel the coolness of the water and ice run through my chest and into my pouch... this is it... blah
So I know it's a total overshare but when you eat something that gets stuck, I mean horribly stuck, I don't know about the rest of you but something I used to HATE absolutely HATE to do is suddenly a relief.
Last night at a dinner party of sorts, I had an epic fail of someone's chicken kabob and a cup of the tropical savory & sweet rice pudding (fully expanded in this form prior to eating) that I brought, the pudding turned out delicious and easy to go down..(yay me!) not to mention everyone LOVED it, I should so be on top chef! lol - but while I was able to avoid most of the other dishes because they were sides, I had to eat the only protein and the host's dish of Chicken Kabobs.. The kabob was dry, horribly, horribly dry. Being polite I tried to eat what I could... ugh.. 1 bite too many and the slime comes, the pain, all of that...I finally excuse myself and go home to shower...Not sure why, but I think because sliming is SO gross to me, this where I like to do it at lol. (WOW that may have been a complete overshare lol) but finally about 15 mins into the ordeal it FINALLY comes up...
Now I know why people say they can't eat things, or can't handle meats, etc... I've come to realize I need to just stick to eating things I cooked, my meats, especially chicken are never dry. How does one dry out chicken? Evidently this is a common phenomenon.. WHO KNEW?!??!?
But I now have full understanding of what people go through.. In 7 months of being banded I've only had 1 bad sliming/throw up experience, oddly enough with honeydew melon.. but after that dry chicken last night ugh! I get it.. I totally get it..
Think today will be a all smoothie day and I'll eat later tonight..
So I had my 1 yr Bandiversary on 12/18.... I've been so busy I haven't had a lot of time to be around and check on on everyone.
But that being said, this year has been a bumpy one as far as my success with the band... band is fine, in place no problems. From Dec - April I did extremely well. May, eh... June eh.. next thing I know it's Nov and I'm almost at my surgery day weight. I was SHOCKED...
I was eating right, and ok so I wasn't exercising but then I figured it out... the coffee and sweet tea I drank every day were adding an extra 847-1200 calories to my diet per day. I didn't start drinking them until May when it got hot... and I spent the summer working in various locations so I made sure I got a coffee to start my day and 2 sweet teas to go along.. on those days we were hitting the 1200+ calorie mark on just the beverages alone. Of course it took me til after thanksgiving to figure this out, as I watched the scale creep up another 4lbs in 3 days, again I couldn't figure it out, I was SO tight I didn't really eat much at thanksgiving but ah yes, I was making my lil' runs to the closest QT (QuikTrip) for sweet tea and a caramel mach.
So here it is December and I feel like I'm almost back where I started... but now that I know and have STOPPED drinking them, the weight is rapidly shedding like it did before. This time next year I'm going to be where I want to be. So other than a lil' disappointed, I'm not worse for wear... but I definitely learned alot in this first year... I'm still down and still getting "OMGOODNESS You lost so much weight" compliments... so it's still working... now to just make up for lost time.
I hope all my fellow 1 yrers are doing well and had a very successful year! I also am in faith that you all had a fabulous Christmas, and in the event that I don't speak to you before then.. All the best in blessings for a prosperous new year!
Ok so I've been MIA for a minute, I needed some time to think about everything that I'm going through, is this what's really right for me.
Two of the people I respect most in the world have voiced their opinions on my surgery. My mother has voiced the same and so forth. They all say the same thing "Do what you want to do, but you can do it on your own, so you don't really need to do this."
I went from 430+ down to 287. The plus is because I couldn't weigh myself for a long time before that. So I lost that weight and have kept the bulk of it off.
I got into a long distance relationship for 2 yrs and he was jealous of me going to the gym, hearing the guys make comments, saying, hi, flirting, etc...So I spent 2 yrs of my life on the phone, laying around.. and packed weight back on reaching back up to 330lbs.
I started to diet and got fed up with the up and down losing the same 30-35lbs, especially when I can gain and lose 15lbs in just a weeks time. So I decided to make yet another appointment to go see about the lapband.
I've been researching this for 5 yrs...on and off, back and forth. Listening to everyone else's opinions and thoughts on it, wait til you have kids, you can do it on your own, etc...
Thing is, I'm tired of waiting. I've been a size 14 or bigger since I was 8 yrs old. Yes 8 as in eight, not a typo.
And yes I know people look at me and they think "Oh you're not that big." fact is I am, the numbers don't lie. I'm mostly muscle and I'm solid, which is why most people guess me anywhere around 200-250lbs if they guess my weight. And I'm wide front to back, not side to side.
At my pre-op visits people always comment on how they thought I was post-op and would say things like "wow I would like to have your shape/figure when I'm done." - Umm k that's great and I appreciate the compliment. However, I'm PRE-OP.
So all of that being said, I had to take few days to get my mind right, and not be here and caught up in all of it.
My Pastor voiced his concern and doesn't think I should do it. His wife (also my Pastor) said the same. My Mother, my friends, etc...
So now I feel like I'm being forced to lie, well not lie, just not tell anyone. Which I wasn't really doing anyways. I think I told 5 or 6 people total and 4 out of those 5 or 6 have said something negative about it and tried persuade me not to do it.
So I sat and thought, ok do I really want to do this? Less than a week from surgery, do I really want to walk away from this?
I couldn't really bring it here until my mind was made up. I know there are so many people here who are waiting, trying to get approved, etc..and here I am approved, scheduled and thinking about walking away.
My mind is made up, I'll be doing it on Friday. No more, no less and more importantly nobody's business.
I'll have church on Thursday and see my Pastor, Friday is Surgery and then I'll see his wife on Sunday. I'll have friday and saturday to recoup and nobody will know the difference.
I'll see my mom Friday after surgery. She knows I'm doing it, even though she thinks I should wait she's supporting whatever it is I think I need to do. But everybody else doesn't need to know.
I'm sure some of you are like well just miss church or whatever...but I can't. I'm the church administrator and assistant to my Pastors so I have to be there. Be available to pick them up from the airport, check them into the hotel, etc..whatever needs to be done.
I'm pretty sure I can pull it off without anyone noticing, the only issue I may have is luggage, I can't lift anything over 15lbs for the next 3-4 weeks. I think I'll be ok for this week, as the only trip before the end of the year is this Sunday and she'll be coming from San Diego with just a carry on...for an hour or two... By the time I see them after the new year, I'll be healed up for the most part.
In the stress of this I ended up cheating on my pre-op diet 2 days in a row ok well more like 1.5.. sunday morning I had a bagel AND a cheese danish with a yoplait and some fruit.
Then yesterday I had supreme croissant from jack in the box with the intent of just eating the egg and meat out of the center.. yeah no, ate it all oh and tacos.. I wanted to have those greasy best thing you ever at at 2am after you've been out drinking all night tacos. But oddly enough they don't taste as good when you're sober and it's it's 12 in the afternoon lol.
Then I had the weirdest craving for chicken salad, which isn't too bad, but the box of wheat thins I ate the chicken salad on, umm yeah that was kinda bad. So anyways - that's that.. That's where I've been. But my mind is made up, I'm on track.. basically 2 more days, 3 more sleeps and it's here. WOW.
Father I thank you for the opportunity of new life, best life. I thank you for rapid recovery and healing. I thank you for a solid mind and unwaivering spirit. I thank you for all you've done for me in the past and all that you will do for me in the future. You are Alpha and Omega and I give you all the Glory. Amen.
I think what's different about me and most people here is I love myself, maybe a lil' too much. I don't aspire to be thin, I don't want to be skinny. I love my curves, my shape, me. I'm an hourglass, maybe the big ben of hourglasses but an hourglass nonetheless.
Part genes part hard work, regardless of how much I weigh I still have a "shape" and it's not just round. When I lost weight before I kept the same shape, just a smaller version of it. I'm in faith that the same thing will happen now. I like me, I like my big butt, musclar and powerful legs, I like my arms, my face (minus the double chin lol) and my breasts. YES there's room for improvement, that's why I'm doing this.
But I just don't look in the mirror and think "ugh" like some of the people I've talked to on here do. We're all beautiful in our own way and pardon the pun but weigh, as well.
300, 200 or 150 I'm still fly. I'm still beautiful, I'm still me. And because of that I think this journey will be easy for me. Self love is what it takes.
Yes I could sit and point out my double chin, my backfat, how the tops of my thighs aren't so solid any more, but hey I can still wear a skirt or bathing suit an nobody really notices.. I could point out how I have a stomach, that thankfully is soft so people don't mistake me for being pregnant I could point out how my upper arm is a lil' loose as I age, I like to think its from all of the beauty waving I did lol...j/k
But point all of that out wouldn't do me any good, besides it doesn't define me. I have always been and will probably always be a plus sized woman. Yes yes, I know we all want to be skinny, yeah not me. I'm just not part of that crowd. People keep making comments to me about "You're so pretty, imagine what you'll look like after" - Fa' real? I mean really?? was that supposed to be a compliment? I look pretty freakin' good now, and I'm not sure the world is ready for a skinny Yvette LMAO.. Ok maybe that's just funny between me and my BFF.. lmao.. but I digress.. I'm just saying.. if we love ourselves it makes the journey easier.. If you're not constantly jumping on the scale, getting caught up with who from your surgery month is losing more than you or whatever the situation is, you're bound to succeed and do it with ease.
Excuse the outfit, this was takin' before a "trailer park party" but as I was going through old pics I figured I'd stop and show the world what 5'5 315lbs looks like on me...
Let me start by saying I am SOOOOOOOOOOO tired.
SO SO SO tired...and I realized as I went to set my 2.19 down for my sugar free redbull....I can't DRINK IT... UGH
Red bulls are how I make it through when I have too much too do and I need sleep....what's a girl to do???
Oh that's right i've had those 5 hour energy drinks before, they're not HORRIBLE and they don't fizz, I guess I could..
Eh wait there's isopure I'll just drink one of those, the protein should keep me up or something zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*Note to self* Isopure grape frost is good, but it doesn't keep you awake. I need a nap, but alas I'll be going back to the store for that 5 hour energy drink... Zzzzzzzz
Less than 4 hours til I go in... I'm still up, not tired, not anxious, not scared, just have lots to do before I go in since I know I'll be down most of tomorrow and Sat.
Finishing up cleaning and doing some laundry. More I do now, less I'll have to do after. I should have cleaned my room this week but I didn't was busy with other things.. If I have time I'll get to it before I go.. Well whatever I can do for the next 2 hours.. I gotta shower at 5 or 5:30, then prayer conference call from 6-7.. by the time I'm off the call I'll be at the surgery center. So umm yeah. I keep feeling like there's something I'm forgetting, but there's not.
CPAP machine that I've never used (Check in box still)
Medicines (Check)
Loose fitting clothes (check)
Lipgloss (Check)
I should have got a pedicure.. I need a pedicure, I've been putting it off.. UGH.. I could do the paint over, but that's just tacky...sigh
Ok Kitchen clean, office clean, living room working on it, guest bathroom done, just my room, bathroom and the rest of the living room to finish. WOO HOO..
Then shower and be ready to go. I wonder why I didn't get any "pre-surgery" don'ts as far as like lotion, etc... I have coconut oil in my hair...it's not going anywhere...
I've already used a gas x-strip... I think my body doesn't know what to do with itself, gas in my chest, I guess from that "Whey Up" energy drink... If you haven't tried them you should 20gms of protein low sugar no carb. If you can drink a 5 hour energy drink, you can drink this, tastes about the same to me.
Let's see whatelse... I guess that's all for now.. going in.. see you on the other side. I'll be praying and confessing over myself until it happens. I confess that all goes well, that I come out of surgery without incident. That I experience rapid recovery and healing with no sickness and great success, in Jesus name...
Ok let me go be productive. I'm sure I'll be back later to fill you all in or document it for myself here in my blog.
Trying to document my progress, living alone it's hard to get full body pics, so mirrors will have to do lol... Anyways, this is just a documentation for me and those who are curious
Feels SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Ok so I still have a ways to go but it feels SO good to KNOW that I'll NEVER be that size again... and I now I have room in my clothes for the new (and smaller) clothes I'll be purchasing along my journey.
Feels SO good! :thumbup:
So I missed my fill yesterday, I've been laid up in bed with a knee injury so I wasn't able to go.
I still have restriction which is GREAT but painful as a reminder for the carb craving I've been on.
Um yeah.. ask me what I ate yesterday? Biscuits. Yep just biscuits.. hot fresh out the oven with honey and butter.. that's what I ate for the whole day...
Today my face is FAT.. so there will be no more biscuits.
But I don't know where this out of control carb/bread craving is coming from. I don't even have PMS as an excuse. But all I want is carbs. The other night I made baked potatoes and dirty rice for dinner.. WHO DOES THAT?!!??!
But I've been fighting off this craving.. it's out of control.. it's so bad even a piece of paper looks good to me.. (oddly enough when I was a kid I used to eat paper) but yeah..
I know they say that cravings mean you're deficient in something.. I've been eating balanced meals, I don't know what I would be deficient in.. guess it's time to go google.
I rescheduled my appointment for the 4th, that gives me time to undo any damage I did on my carb binge.. but um yeah.. HELP.. send donuts lol j/k ok well maybe just one..
Anyone else get SUPER tight restriction when they're stressed or upset?
In the 7 months I've had my band I've been blessed to have it pretty easy, the past few days I've been having some personal issues that are a cause of stress and anger. For the past 3 days it has been difficult for me to eat anything even though I'm hungry and try to eat it, within 3 bites I'm full or in pain from trying to eat/restriction.
Does anyone else experience this? And keep in mind, I missed my scheduled fill on the 15th.. so it's not that..
So Diane from True Results calls me today to follow up on how I'm doing. I tell her I think I'm doing great and seem to be doing better than most.
We go over incisions, etc... she agrees. Then she says do you have any questions. So I say well yes actually I do, why is it I'm supposed to be be on liquids when I can eat things like chicken salad as long as I chew it up. Her normally friendly up beat voice changes into this motherly tone "Now Yvette, we went over this, you don't want anything to get stuck, you're still swollen and you don't know what will happen."
"Ok ok, but I was reading on lapbandtalk.com and other people..." she stops me short - "This isn't about other people it's about YOU so you need to do what your doctor told YOU to do. If you want to be on full liquids fine, but don't go eating any meat or vegetables" she says sternly.
"So you're saying I probably shouldn't be eating cream of chicken and mushroom soup together?" - Silence on the phone.
"Hello"....
"Yvette we've been over this, no meat, no vegetables and NO chicken salad!"
Sigh....
Mmmm yogurt!
Ruby Reds are a GREAT invention, they give you a full day serving of fruits & vegtables in a small scoopful and they taste great. They were a gift to me and they've lasted quite well through my on again off again healthy fads/trends.
You can put the RubyReds in anything, water, juice, etc.. I've noticed it's especially good with Berry Propel and the Healthy Balance Brand Pomergrante/blueberry/Acai blend juice.
I originally found the Healthy Balance juices as an alternative for my diabetic mother, but quickly found out they taste great. Even my 9 yr old nephew likes them and has for last 2 years we've been buying them.
That being said today I made my best shake yet, it tasted just like a smooth from Planet Smoothie or someplace like that...
2oz vanilla lowfat yogurt
1 scoop designer whey french vanilla protein powder
1 scoop ruby reds
4oz Healthy Balance Pomergrante, blueberry, acai blend juice.
Handful of ice
Stir or blend either way is delicious.
If you try the shake let me know what you think.
It's the strangest thing to watch and feel my body lose weight and change. I mean just the weirdest sensation. I have to wonder why I didn't feel this when I was gaining weight. As uncomfortable and as many weird sensations as I've felt losing it, you would think there would have been some tell-tale signs when I was gaining; but no. Or maybe I just chose to ignore them.
So the strangest sensation to me is feeling my ummm private areas shrink. I know most overweight people have what they call a "fat pad" covering their pubic bone area.. but as my stomach shrinks and that area shrinks it's just the strangest feeling. I woke up this morning like something was "off" so I go and look in the mirror and I was right something was indeed off.. FAT and unwanted pounds. But now.. now one side of my stomach is an inch tighter than the other side.
Ok so maybe all of this is an overshare but I KNOW I cannot be the only one experiencing this. Like I look in the mirror and while I never had a HUGE belly it did hang more than I would of liked stopping just before my pubic area..but now the right side is up and so is the left, just not as much as the right.. a whole inch difference to be exact.
Thank the Lord for being celibate right now because ummmmmm my naked body changes on a daily basis! There's no hanging/sagging skin - THANK YOU JESUS! but the fat I do have is shifting/changing where it's deposited at as I lose it. For instance.. my bra-line incision is now in the middle of my stomach and to the left, not under my bra and centered like it was.
I'm at a point where I'm SO anxious to see what's underneath all of this, I now understand why people get surgeries like liposuctions and tummy tucks... Watching my stomach shrink and get definition is AMAZING to me... especially when I really haven't been working out. I know I know.. I could be alot further on in my process but I was so consumed with other things I wasn't making time to workout like I should...and the muscle weight gain I experienced was a turn off but now I'm back at it. Doing what's necessary to burn the rest of this weight off and sculpt the beautiful body I know is underneath. I've always had a nice shape, just a big shape..an hourglass but the big ben of hourglasses....if that makes sense lol.
So I'm SUPER anxious and motivated to get to the final result. In the meantime these sensations are just SO weird to me.. and when you think about it, it shows you just how amazing the human body really is.
The sensation I'm experience is my skin being able to breathe, being exposed to air after being covered by layers of fat or rolls previously. First it itches and can be painful as the skin is healing but then it just heals up into smooth, soft, supple skin. It's the most amazing thing.
The down side is seeing stretchmarks where I didn't know I had them.. like the backs of calves. I've always had nice legs, big, powerful, muscular, as the little bit of fat that was on them goes, I can see the traces of stretchmarks, everyone says I'm crazy and they don't see anything, but I see it, has to be in the right light but it's there.. I see it! Then again I've had stretchmarks since I was 8 yrs old... They're all old and faded and blended in with my skin. Only if I tan too much do they really show or turn red.
Ok I'm rambling but seriously this journey is just AMAZING to me... absolutely, positively AMAZING.
