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What is wrong with me?

I feel like im beating a dead horse with this whole, i fell off track thing. I read back on my posts from months ago, and i feel im still at the same place. im not working out, not eating what i should and NOW im at my max fill. just got filled the other day. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME? was i really ready for the lapband? was i ready to change my eating habits? was i ready? i feel as if i were i would have co-operated by now! u also think i would be motivated. im a matron of honor in my sisters wedding in october and i hate my fat arms!!! what is wrong with me! (sighs)
ali4416

ali4416

3
 

gettin back on track

so funny how things go hand in hand. i feel ive been a bit off track. im a 6cc in a 11cc band. i go for my 3rd fill in 2 weeks. also i looked and im not on this site as much so its easy to forget ive been banded. as weird as that might sound.:frown: i have a tool! i need to use it!:thumbup: back to liquids for a couple days for me. i know i can do it. i need to be focused. back to the gym today for me too. i can just feel that my next fill will help me. i just know it. when people use to say "oh ive gained on the band or oh it doesnt work" well now i know why. its because they gave up. they didnt get re-focused. its so easy to lose the focus. and i dont wanna be that person. im not gonna give up on my band. im gonna get re focused. i cant wait to find my "sweet spot" thats gonna be awesome. but in the meantime i need to stop eating the sweets!:redface:
ali4416

ali4416

4
 

trial and error

so this week has been a series of trial and error. and its only tuesday! Sunday had a family dinner and def had some sangria. i grazed and drank. then on monday i said im gonna be good. people at work ordered burgers and i got one. ate the burger at noon. totally didnt eat slow and totally ate the whole thing. i was ssoooooooo stuffed i couldnt possibly eat anything for rest of the day and night. i sipped water. that was the first time i have ever ate to feel that full. WHATA MISTAKE! today im very bloated. im barely ate all day. i sipped crystal light. my friend dragged my butt to the gym for the 2nd time in a week. (trying to get my groove back) i decided i was gonna weight myself. to my surprize i lost weight since my fill 3 weeks back and im 1 pound away from losing 30. phew....that def gave me a lil confidence back since ive been so horrible this week. and actually if i wasnt so bloated ive prob lost more. ill take the loss.:w00t:
ali4416

ali4416

1
 

There always ur first......

so yesterday was my first day working out! to me it wasnt a full work out though. i worked out for 20 min. wow am i outta shape or what. first time doing exercise in 7 weeks. i was so hungry all day long yesterday! my metabolism was racing and just kept trying to get good amount of protein to control my hunger. it was hard. i am so tired today not only did i work out but i worked 12 hours yesterday and got 7 hours of sleep. ouch. not my normal day thats for sure. im so tired today and really should get my butt into gear. maybe ill work out after work today at 3 and let my body rest for the morning. i also started my REALIZE food diary yesterday. i do need to customize it a little. god losing weight is alot of work!!! :mad:
ali4416

ali4416

2
 

sorry if its TMI :)

so besides needing to get back on track. something is new and gross! BODY ODOR! i have NEVER smelled bad and when i was sweating cause i was to hot from the heat im my house or starting to work out I SMELLED! this is so weird! has anyone expeirenced this? losing weight and im smelling? i need answers lol but my best friend motivated me today! i pretty much can eat and drink anything EXCEPT soda! so i do have restriction but instead of 12 cookies its one! not the right mind set. now i see why its so easy to get off track! she reminded me that HELLO U HAVE THE BAND USE IT! :smile2:
ali4416

ali4416

4
 

Welcome to 2010!

Happy new year everyone!   so basically new years eve i cooked at my house and we had all protein! lol i thought it was pretty funny when i finally looked at what i cooked. lots of fish and chicken. not that it was all cooked healthy but it wasnt entirely full of fat either.:smile2:   i grazed all night and because i was eatin and eatin i only ended up drinking one glass of wine. all that i ate when i grazed i probably still didnt eat as much as i would of if i didnt have the band. altough it seems like a lot to me i have to keep reminding myself, its not as much as before! i love food what can i say!:thumbup:
ali4416

ali4416

1
 

Wine, Dine, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

woke up today with a little bit of a headache! last night i drank 2 glasses of wine instead of one! maybe i got a headache cause one was red and the other was white. although white seems to go down better and red can sometimes burn my stomach a little bit. and this is so weird for me cause i could drink alot more wine! lol well i guess thats good considering its not good for caloric intake. :biggrin:   water, water, water! i tested drinking wine about 4 weeks after surgery and my body didnt reject it! i heard different stories about people who could never drink again~ but i like my wine! i dont drink soda and drink only water so i guess its ok!   HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!
ali4416

ali4416

1
 

Day 2 of restriction!

so i definately was filled! i couldnt stop burping yesterday! it was so annoying! i have talked to some people that have said they didnt even feel restriciton at 4cc! i think thats weird! i have a 11cc band and most people have 9 or 10 but the bands are changing all the time!:w00t:   so today is my first day back on food! i was so hungry yesterday doing liquids but i managed. but i def feel full and i just had 3/4 of a thin wrap with homemade chicken salad which is my fav thing to eat! :tt2:   working out right now isnt exactly fitting into my schedule but i am chosing the correct foods right now so hopefully that will help!   i eat alot slower than i use to but i think now being restricted i have to eat slower! do you have that issue?   i love to hear what people have to say and their expeirences! throw me a line!
ali4416

ali4416

3
 

wake up world its work time!

i feel great this morning! no soreness im shocked! i always think the worst so im prepared.   so tonight im goin to start my work out! also ill be off of liquids and ill bake a chicken. yummers!   im always looking for suggestions for new workouts? what helped you the most? what is really kepping your interest on a day to day basis?   does anyone utilize the realize band website to track food and progress? i do and i LOVE it!:tt2:   have a good day everyone!!
ali4416

ali4416

1
 

Fill it up please!

Surgery was a success! i loved my surgeon and i love my program! about 5 days and back to work but this time at a desk job! not my normal retail life i had been living!   some cramping on the first day but as the days went on i was feeling thinner and my scars were healing!   whatever pain i had i knew it would be worth it and i took it easy! i was amazed of what i could, or better yet coulndt eat as much as i used to! wow it changed!!   5 weeks out i could almost eat normal again. it was very weird. but now on the 6th week i got my first fill of 4cc's. this website has helped me in my journey by sharing and listening or should i say "watching" other peoples expeirences.   i feel good, im sure a little sore in a while but so far so good! time to start working out!! i am very excited to blog and share my stories along the way and hopefully i can help or inspire people to take control of their life and know it can be done!   p.s if you dont see alot of pictures that portrays my size thats because "fat girls crop". i dont do full shots im good from the neck up. but im sure ill find some and share!:tt2:
ali4416

ali4416

1
 

welcome to my life!

Hi Everyone! :tt2: How do i begin and where do i start?! how do i begin to tell you who i am and my journey of how i got to where i am today? ok here goes nothing...   i was never a small child...a size 10 WAS my norm and infact i didnt even get there until i was 17.   2 kids and a husband later i found myself at about 300 pounds ok ill be exact 296..there thats better!   which brings me to this year of how i started to take control of my life. i can be very athletic and i love to workout. i love to swim, spin, aerobics, kickbox, anything with high intensity! let me tell you i can move for a big girl!!   i joined a gym just like the other 10 things i have done and i was doing awesome and then DING DONG life calls! isnt that always the way?   so what happens? you fall off the wagon of your great progress and u fall back to where u began! :eek:   so i worked in retail and a few women now and then came in said they needed clothes and the answer was LAP-BAND®®. i asked alot of questions and i ended up at Tufts medical center in June of 09.   i got the ball rolling with seminars and info and appointments to start. i was very fortunate with my insurance i have i only pay co-pays. nothing out of pocket!   i had a very embarrassing moment shortly after in july. i went on a plane for the first time AND I DIDNT FIT!. i forced myself into the seat with silent tears streaming down my face. 2 hours later all bruised up from "cramming". in my 2 hours of travel i assured myself that i would be "fixed" and i started my journey at the right time! :wink:   i started the diet and mindful eating began! i wasnt perfect at it by any means. i love my wine and chocolate! i ended up losing 14 pounds before my surgery on nov 17!:w00t:
ali4416

ali4416

6
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