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Blog 79244

A blog by shonette

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Learning to appreciate who I am in my "Own Skin" !

This morning I was getting dress for work, and I looked at myself in the mirror! For the first time in years I was somewhat pleasantly surprised at the person I saw! This person has a nice glow about herself than ever before.(me) I have spent some much of my life doing everything for everyone else, and I never took time out to do anything for myself. I am normally racing around my house cleaning up after everyone, cooking, washing, assisting with homework, and being "Grammie"! Yes, I am a grandmother to a one month old little boy! He was born 3 days after my surgery! Therefore, I had very little to no healing time after my surgery. He is soooooo wonderful and I love him to no end! However; being there for my daughter and her baby is a lot to juggle. I also have my finally appointment with my casework today to complete the process to becoming a foster parent. I sometimes feel like I am going to lose my sense of being. I do know God isn't going to place any more on me than I can handle. My plate is very full at times, but it was the way I've always defined who I was in this world. I now know I can take care of myself in the process. I now know I am so much more than that person who provides and takes care of everyone else's needs. I am learning to take some time out of my day to take care of myself. I work out at the YMCA at least 3-4 a week for at least 1 1/2 at night. This gives me the time I need to relax and reflect on myself. Being me isn’t so bad after all!:wub:

August 24, 2010

5

My first fill experience/ 10 cc band with 2cc fill

Today I received my first fill and it was not as bad as I had anticipated it being. My doctor is a very cool person and he has a way of talking you through your fears of the unknown. I really don't have a problem with needles, but I did not want to be stuck multiple times as I originally thought would happen. I learned that I have a standard seize band that is 10 cc, and I was given 2 cc of saline in my band today. My doctor took me up to 3cc just to let me know how it felt to have an over fill. He then took 1 cc out and I was able to swallow just fine. He was really proud of my weight lost, but he also wanted me to focus more on my fat percentage and not just the weight lost itself. I was put on a three day post adjustment diet to ensure everything was working the way it should. He also encouraged me to buy one of those scales that calculate your body fat mass along with your weight. On the way home from the Hospital I felt a little pressure in my chest area, but it appears to be fading away at this time. I do feel like my diet is very bland at times so I pulled up some food ideas that are high in protein from the net just to mix things up a little. I don't want to feel like this is something I can't do, because I know I can and will do this. Since I now have my first fill, I don't want to feel like my weight lost will slow down. I know that sounds crazy! I really want to keep myself on a consistent weight reduction cycle. I feel really good about the things I am doing right now, and people are really being supportive towards me in this process of losing weight. I had my first appointment with my Podiatrist today, and he gave me a boot to sleep in and a cortisone shot in my heel to relieve some of my pain and pressure. Hopefully, once I get my heel pain under control my exercise can increase. At this point it is just so hard to apply excessive pressure on my feet. The pain is just too much to bare at times. In three more weeks I will be considered for my second fill. I really do thank God that I don't have any type of complications with my new found friend "Allergan" my band!

August 19, 2010

5

The best decision I've ever made!!!!!!!

It's been two full weeks since my surgery, and I've lost a total of 15 pounds. I am learning how to listen to my body and this is very new for me to do. I eat very slowly and when I feel the least bit full I stop eating. Learning not to over eat is a really big deal for me. I have always felt like I needed to have just one more bite of something really everything. I now know that is not the case. Food is starting to mean something totally different to me than ever before. I am getting so excited to finally see the scale move down in numbers. My clothes, underwear, bra, and shoes are all fitting a little different and that is a very good feeling. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I am ready for the challenge like never before. I look forward to doing some form of work out nightly -now. For me, every little thing counts when it comes to working out. I now look at everything as some form to work out. I park my truck farther away from the doorway, and I find every opportunity to walk while at work. I am getting so many compliments from people at work, shopping and church. I do have one little problem at this point. I really thought my husband would be very happy and excited that his wife is looking healthier and sexier. "WRONG" He is becoming one of my biggest haters with all of the stupid things he has been saying. I could notice this changed even before my surgery actually was done! Now things are only getting worst between us. Well, I have decided I did this for me and my love ones who truly love me. Therefore, I am not going to allow his unhappiness to become my own. With God's help I do know things are only going to get better and better for me having this band. I have to stay focused, active, and true to myself and this band. It is a tool and I intend to use it's assistance to the max!:cool:

August 3, 2010

8

Two more days

I really do appreciate everyone's advice on handling the remaining balance of my surgery due to my doctor's office error. Thank God everything has worked out just fine with my covered percentage. I have only two days before I have my band. This has been a very long process, but I thank God I am finally at the end of the road. I do understand this band is only a tool, but I thank God I will have this tool to help me to achieve my weight lost goal(s)! Being apart of this site has given me so much encouragement and hope for the future with my band. I now have so much insight on the do’s and don’ts with my band. Wednesday is my day that I will enter into a whole new world (BAND LAND)! I feel a lot of excitement and nervous at the same time. :rolleyes2: I do have faith that everything is going to work out for me during this procedure. :bye:

July 19, 2010

1

What Next????????????????????? ???????

I received a phone call yesterday while I was in training at my job from my doctor's office manager. She called to let me know Dr. McCowan was not in network with my insurance company, but they have their application in process to become in network providers. I was speechless! :cursing:I asked her what you mean my doctor is not in network with my insurance company. I asked-day one before I chose Dr. McCowan to be my surgeon if he as in network with my insurance company. I was told yes he was. My husband included the high opp. plan so his benefits would pay 90%, and I would only have to be responsible for the remaining 10%. That is a big difference when you are talking about several thousand of dollars. After I have done every single thing required for me to do, I am being told this none sense by his office!!!! My insurance has approved me for this procedure and my pre-op is schedule on 7-14-10 @ 9:15 am and my surgery is scheduled to be on 7-21-10. Due to unforeseen additional financial expenses, my procedure will be postponed for a later date. This is totally unfair and heart breaking news for me. Someone may ask how I not knew my doctor was not in network with my insurance company. I called and asked the insurance company and my doctor before this entire process was started. I was told by both parties everything was fine and 10% is the only out of pocket expenses I had to be responsible for. I started getting bills from my doctor's office with high balances. I was paying my entire portion up front before any visit or procedure was done. That was the first red flag, but I was told by the office manager everything was cleared up and corrected on their end. I started calling my insurance company myself to see what was going on around April when the second bill notice was mailed out to me. I was then told by my insurance company they accepted his insurance but at 70% instead of the 90% that I was originally told. I was told several times by the office manager everything was being cleared up, but within 2 weeks of getting my band it's all been a lie. The difference of my 10% out of pocket and 30% is about $2500 additional dollars. I am not financially prepared to pay that due to some other financial obligations I have. I spoke with another person who works with Dr. McCowan to see if he will do my procedure at the 10% rate, because that was the original agreement. I am just praying something workout before my actually date. :smile2: I do have faith in God that he will and has always worked things out in my favor.

July 8, 2010

7

The long road home!

This has been a very long process with me getting to this point. I called my insurance company today, and after 35 days I have finally been approved. There were a couple of days that me, my doctor’s office and the insurance company was playing fax tag. Thank God it was all cleared up. Some documents had to be resubmitted, but all and all it’s all over the waiting game is too. I was given my pre-certification number (BX8MSVK1) SWEET! I really don't know how I feel to actually know this is really going to happen for me. I have read so many other people’s site speak about their experiences, but today is my day to celebrate my "Great" news! Thank God for being so good to me throughout this entire process. Everything has gone very smooth but the road has been very long. My date to be banded has been set for July 21st and my pre-op is on the 14th at 1pm. I will get all the information I will need to know leading up to my actual date. Today I started my sugar buster diet and it is not as bad as I thought. However, this is my first day on this diet. I am just so excited to know my journey is just about to take a big turn for the better. One of my good friends I met on the Lap band site recently had her procedure done. That is a really big advantage for me, because she is able to give me some personal insight on does and don'ts! The days leading up to my surgery will be very exciting ones for me. I can not wait for my life to take one of the biggest turn around ever. All I can say is God is truly good to me. Thank God! :frown:

July 5, 2010

2

What am I doing?

All of my documentation was forward to my insurance company this week. I was required by my surgeon to do a sleep study last weekend. That was one of the most unpleasant experiences I have gone through in a very long time. Thank God it is done and over! I have found myself trying to eat a lot of different things I normally would not be eating. It’s like I know in the back of my mind I will not be able to eat those foods for a while or never once my procedure is done. Food is starting to become more of a focus for me than I would like it to be. It really takes very little food to bring me to a filling of being full. I am finding myself force eating, and I hate that feeling. It has taken me a very long time to train my stomach that a little can go a long way. I have started losing the weight on my own, but getting the band would be a wonderful thing tool to have. I understand that my mental state has a lot to do with the physical desire to eat even when I am not hungry. My husband did not even eat supper last night, and I noticed he did not give the thought of not eating a second thought. I don't understand why that does not work for me. I do understand that every single person is created and designed totally differently, but I wish some things about me were different! I have a lot of mixed emotions about being band, but I am still so excited at the same time. Does any of that make sense? I know God is going to give me the strength and ability to be successfully with the band. I feel like some of the bad food habits I've tried so hard to fight are trying to over take me once more. I find myself wanting to eat and I am not even hungry. Is that crazy or what? I read someone's blog and they wrote," Being thin taste better than food"! Those words are keeping me focused when I don't want to be focused. I do want to be thin, and that is a greater desire than eating certain foods. Maybe some of what I am experiencing is the anxiety of waiting for my answer from the insurance company! I have waited so long for my day to come so an extra 15 business days is not going to kill me!

May 21, 2010

2

Mixed feelings

I have not posted anything in a very long time. When I first joined this site at the end of last year 2009, I was so excited for this process to start and end. I felt like this time would never come to an end for me. As I look back over these last seven months, I really can see my idea of being band has changed for the better. I was so desperate to find a quick fix and this band was going to be my answer. I now realize that the band is going to be the tool yes a "tool" to lose the weight. I have said it so many times before that I understand my responsibility in this whole process, but looking back I really don't think I did. This is my body and I am responsible for the way I take care of it. For years I have not done a very good job of taking care of myself. It is hurtful for me to be able to admit this, but I really have let myself down in so many ways. I have made so many excuses for things being the way they have been with me physically. I do understand and realize that no one else can or will do this for me. I have developed so many health issues (heel spurs, arthritis in my right knee, swollen feet, and a hernia) that are contributed to me being over weight. I do realize and thank God that I could have so many more serious conditions. However, these conditions cause me enough pain and discomfort. It's not easy to say these things, but it helps me to understand my responsibility in my present condition. I do love myself and my entire family, therefore they all deserve better from me. I will do my sleep study this Saturday, and all of my paper work will be turned in to my insurance company. I have met all requirements, and I really don't foresee any reason they would deny me. I am praying to have my procedure done by mid June. At this points in my life, am ready to make a life long change to becoming a happier, healthier {"ME”}! This site has been such a blessing for me to be able to vent if needed and receive the most unbelievable support any person could ever want or need. Thank you Lap Band Family. My journey is just beginning!

May 12, 2010

2

It's always Good to Know!

I was talking with my doctor about some of the problems I was experiencing with my acid reflux condition. He wanted to do an EDG to see if I actually had a high hernia. My test was friday morning at 6am and it was a lot worst than he actually thought. My condtions had gotten to the point that every single thing would cause an acid reflux reactioin. Sometimes drinking water could cause intense burning in my throat. My God sometimes I thought it was a condtion only in my head. Surely, I thought simple things I would eat could not cause that much discomfort but it did. My doctor is really cool and he stayed after my procedure to read the results that friday morning so I wouldn't have to wait over into next week to know the results. My doctor stated my hernia was not the worst he's ever seen, but it was worse than most. I really feel better knowing that I truly have a condtion that can be fixed at the time am banded. :bored: My primary doctor was very supportive that I was working toward getting the band implanted. He was willing to assist me in any way needed to ensure my insurance would approve me being banded. He stated it was only a game the insurance company required, and we would both just have to stay on top of the insurance requirements so I would not be denied. However, my doctor did not advocate me taking any diet pills. He felt that would be unnecessary for me to take them, but he wanted me to continue to watch what I was eating and to work out as much as possible. My last requirement per my insurance company is the psy visit on 2-10-10. My paper work will be submitted once all the documentation has been completed from my other appointments. I pray by some miracle from God the insurance company would go ahead and approved me without the six month monitored diet by my doctor. That would be really cool if they approved it right off w/out the diet. I really trying to lose some weight becasue my liver has to shrink down in order to be banded per my doctor. I feel really excited:biggrin:

February 2, 2010

2

Everything is Down hill

I've started all my appointments with the different things required by my insurance. I still have a problem with the six months supervised diet by my doctor. I really feel that is just a waste of my time. If I could lose the weight and maintain it on my own, I would not need the lap-band® done. I have researched the lap-band® since feb 09. I am very aware of a lot of different things that I have to do to lose the weight. However, I feel like am giving myself the gift of life. It's like a second chance to make right of all the bad food choices I've made in my past. My BMI was 40 so that alone makes me an excellent candidate for the band. I reallydon't have any type of major health issues outside of my high herenia and joints (knee). Yes, it's all weight related. Thank God, I was told by the Doctor my herenia could be fixed when my procedure is done. That was music to my burning throat/chest! :sad: I know my life is only going to improve in so many healthy ways. I can not wait to start losing this weight and keeping it off for good. I do know the band is only a tool and (baby) I intend to work that tool to it's fullest!:drool: Am positive and I know God is going to work everything out in my favor. Everything from this point is down hill. As long as all of my appointmens are kept, I should not have any problems being approved my the insurance company! "It won't be long now"!:wink2:

January 24, 2010

3

Everything is Down hill

I've started all my appointments with the different things required by my insurance. I still have a problem with the six months supervised diet by my doctor. I really feel that is just a waste of my time. If I could lose the weight and maintain it on my own, I would not need the lap-band done. I have researched the lap-band since feb 09. I am very aware of a lot of different things that I have to do to lose the weight. However, I feel like am giving myself the gift of life. It's like a second chance to make right of all the bad food choices I've made in my past. My BMI was 40 so that alone makes me an excellent candidate for the band. I reallydon't have any type of major health issues outside of my high herenia and joints (knee). Yes, it's all weight related. Thank God, I was told by the Doctor my herenia could be fixed when my procedure is done. That was music to my burning throat/chest! :confused: I know my life is only going to improve in so many healthy ways. I can not wait to start losing this weight and keeping it off for good. I do know the band is only a tool and (baby) I intend to work that tool to it's fullest! Am positive and I know God is going to work everything out in my favor. Everything from this point is down hill. As long as all of my appointmens are kept, I should not have any problems being approved my the insurance company! "It won't be long now"!:wink2:

January 21, 2010

1

Heavy Heart

I was looking at all the pictures on the web of the earthquake victims in Haiti. Oh my God, what devastation Haiti is experiencing right now. My weight problems just don't seem to be as significate today as it has been.:sad: The earthquake that hit Haiti was worse than any hurricane I've ever seen. I feel so thankful just to live my life today without all the sadness those people are going through. I can not imagine my world being turned upside down and inside out the way Haiti has!:cursing: My heart is so very heavy for their lost. Today, my desire for the band is just not that important to me. My prayers and focus is for the sadness and lost for the people in Haiti.:ohmy:

January 14, 2010

4

The Wheels are starting to Turn

:cursing:Today my first appointment was made to see the nutritionist and to have an initial consultation for the band. 1-18-10 at 1pm will start the wheels to turning. I do realize there is a long road ahead of me, but at least the band process is more of a reality than just talk. I am ready, excited , and somewhat nervous.:ohmy: Overall, am ready to live a new kind of life! Haaaaaa!

January 13, 2010

3

Good News is worth waiting for!!!!

I was so excited when Dr. McCown's nurse called me back this morning to let me know they would be able to start my initial appointment(s) and all the other stuff that needs to be done. I just want to do absolutely every single thing required of me so a band date can be scheduled. I feel just like my 4yrs old son in the toy center at Wal-Mart. Excitement, joy, and hopes fill my heart right about now. I am very careful not to share my decision with too many people. For some unknown reason, a lot of people have a very negative opinion about weight lost procedures. Every single person make this choice for so many resons, and I know my health and personal well being is my main reasons. I posted a picture of my two beautiful children in my photos today. Those two very special people are my main reasons I want to have good health and a very long life. I started to experience some pains and difficulity my my right knee 2 weeks ago. I really don't know what happened with it, but I cracked this same knee over 2yrs ago from a fall at my old employment. I have had on going issues every since. I feel losing as much weight as possible will only take excessive stress from my knee pains. That's my main goal/ good health and happiness! I have so many things to feel blessed about, and this is one of the biggest blessings of all. (Lap-Band®)! It's so hard to explain but I feel like am getting a new chance on living a more productive and healthy live for the rest of my life.

January 11, 2010

2

A little Disappointed but patient

Today I was really hoping to hear back from Dr. McCowin's nurse, but so far nothing. I really wanted some good news to carry me through the weekend. Sometimes I have heard no news can be good news.:biggrin: Well, I had not completed my paperwork for the dr in Brunswick. I guess I need to go ahead and complete it before Wednesday for my appointment. Maybe Monday Ronda will give me a call back teling me something either way.:thumbup:

January 8, 2010

2

Pins and Needles

To day am waiting on a phone call from the Dr's office to let me know if my insurance will be accepted by Dr. McCown. I really pray things work out because now more than ever, I really want to get the band. I get so excited for others when they are given an approval or an offical date for banding:ohmy:! I have always heard that if you can celebrate for someone's happiness God always make the same provisions for me :thumbup:! If I have to go out of town, then I will do what I have to do. This morning I mentioned to my husband about being banded. He acted as if that was the very first time he had ever heard the word Lap-band®®®! He stated, "you know I still have until the end of January to make any changes to my insurance"! Okayyyy, now am thinking what was that all about. He always make comments about me losing weight, but in a very nice kind of way. Therefore, why in the world would he not want me to be banded. Honestly, I really don't care if he want me to be or not- if things are approved by any doc am getting it. He better watch out because a new me is just around the corner! By the end of the day I will have good news or Wednesday I'll be on my way to Brunswick Ga. :biggrin:

January 8, 2010

1

There is "HOPE"

I really don't know why, but I find so much comfort expressing my thoughts and feelings about my weight issues in my blogs. Being able to write these blogs are a emotional release for me. I am so excited because I called the local Doc in Valdosta just for info, and I found out that he do except my husband's insurance. All of my information was taken over the phone & I faxed a front/back copy of the insurance card to prevent any info errors. Ronda @ Dr. McCown's office will get back with me no later than Friday to let me know the overall status is going. Whatever that may be. I really want to get the band in Valdosta. I guess my kids play a large role in me not wanting to be out of town. Being out of town for any type of medical procedures brings back bad/neg memories of me lossing my son. That's one more emotional part of my life I have to deal with. It still give me a lot of hope that Dr. McCown will be able to do my band. My husband is very supportive of me getting the band, because he would like to see the old me from years pasted on. However, my mothere really do not believe in any type of medical procedure to aid in weight lost. Actually my mother would benefit more than anyone if she would agree to being banded. She has not gotten on the scale in years, but I believe she is way over 400+ pounds. I look at my mother and I do not want that to become me in the future. I want to be able to live a active moble life without the limitations my mother has. My mother is one of the biggest reasons I want to be banded. I feel that my family deserves to have all of me for a very long time. Overweight runs in my family and everyone accepts it as apart of their life. I now know that being over weight does not have to be apart of my life. I know things are going to work out for my good one way or another. I do know there is Hope!

January 7, 2010

3

Very Hopeful

I've spent a lot of time viewing the before and after pictures of the different people on the site. Am so excited about getting the band.

November 12, 2009

4

One step closer

I called my husband's insurance company 1-3-10 to find out which doctors will cover the lap-bands in my area. There were no local drs in my area so I will have to pick someone out of town. That really is not too bad, but I really wanted to use the local doctor in Valdosta (Kevin McCown). He actually had the lap-band® done on himself. I thought that was really cool. He has a personal experience with the different things a person would be going through before and after being banded. I have heard a lot of good things about him and thought he would be a good choice for me. However, I chose the closer doctor in the areas listed-Brunswick Ga. My first appointment is 1-13-10 @ 2pm. I really have some mixed emotions about getting Banded now, but I feel like a changed needs to occur in mylife for a lot of reasons. There are more out of pocket cost than what I actually realized it would be. I think it was round $1300 for the diet, pycho, and some other things first. Then the actually procedure is totally seperate.

January 6, 2010

1

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