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About this blog

My personal experience with Lap Band. Hopefully informative and occasionally witty.

Entries in this blog

 

100 Pounds Gone -- I Love My LapBand

As of this morning, I have lost 100 pounds! That's 10 months and 4 days since surgery. Right on schedule.   When I started this process last summer by going to the information session, I had already decided that if I could lose 100 pounds, I would consider the decision to have Lapband surgery a success. My attitude changed the day I made the decision -- I became optimistic and hopeful because I was finally deciding to do something about my weight/health/life rather than continuing to sit around complaining about being fat.   By the time I had my consultation in September and then the actual surgery in November I was sure this was the way to go. I was right!   Having LapBand surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made (and believe me, I've made quite a few bad ones). My life has changed and continues to get better every day. Even with all the accompanying issues and problems I've run into over the last ten months, I would not change a thing except possibly to have done it sooner!   I am going to continue to work my band so I can lose more weight, continue to live a healthy lifestyle and live a lot longer.   BIKINI BODY, BABY! That's the new goal!   :thumbup:
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

10
 

Unfill - Feel Physically Much Better But Concerned

My last fill on 1/27 resulted in a lot of restriction, so much so that I questioned in this space and others whether or not the band was too tight. At my appointment last week, 3/3, the doctor said he thought 2 ounces of food was a good amount per sitting so I assumed the problems I was having were related more to my eating habits than the band.   And then the real vomiting started. I'd thrown up a couple of times and slimed since my last fill but it got to the point over the last week that at least 1 meal per day ended up in the toilet or sink. Finally, after a week of feeling weak and that I wasn't getting enough nutrition (still) and I couldn't sleep because I kept gagging and vomiting a bit while lying down, I called the doctor's office yesterday and they were able to get me in today.   As soon as I described the vomiting while prone, the doctor said the band is too tight and he'd take some fluid out. He said that monthly fluctuations can cause different feelings of restriction so if I retain a lot of fluid with my period, that could be the cause. Of course, I don't have my period but sometimes it just happens.   He took out 1.5ccs (I had 7.5 in my 12 cc band) and told me to drink a cup of water and see how it went down. I sat in the waiting area, sipping my water and it didn't feel right. After about 3 ounces, I felt that old familiar pain and urge and ran to the bathroom and threw it up. Back to the exam room and he took out another 1cc of fluid.   I feel like a new person. I drank my cup of water with no problem and even had a satisfying little burp at the end. Got some soup on the way back to the office (doctor said warm liquids at first) and it went down beautifully.   Here's the concern though -- after I had the whole soup (about 6 oz - more than I've had at a sitting in over a month), I wanted more! I am worried that I'm back to square one with restriction and even though I will try to stick to the plan and eat the right foods and right amounts, it's the restriction that I depend on to help keep me on track. What if I blow it? I know I won't gain back all 60 lbs in the month before my next appointment but I question whether I can stick to my goals for 4 weeks if I have little restriction. I'm so bad in general that I actually considered getting a roast beef sandwich on the way back from the doctor's office, just to see if I could do it.   So, I'm glad that I'll be able to sleep and won't be running to the bathroom after every meal but I'm worried that I'll eat too much because....I can.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

5
 

Approaching the Century Mark!

Looking over my blog entries since my banding last November, I came to the conclusion that this "journey" is really a roller coaster ride. I've been up, down, sideways and all over the map emotionally and physically and I find that as I approach my one year anniversary of banding, I'm pretty much where I hoped and expected to be when they strapped me in and put the bar down. There are so many other changes that I hadn't anticipated. Some are simple, some are complicated but I'm rolling with it. A few observations - simple first:   1) It's a lot easier to wear heels when you're 100 pounds lighter. Besides having giant feet and not being able to find cute comfortable shoes, the pressure on the soles of your feet is geometrically related to how high the heel is and how much you weigh. (Science lesson for the day). The more you weigh, the higher the heel, the greater the pressure. That much less weight means that much more height in comfort. And, wedges are the best.   2) Exercise really does work. Although I did not lose much weight this summer, I dropped at least one pants size. My band was loose and I was eating too much but I was pretty much able to maintain my work out regimen and it paid off. Those CK jeans I mentioned a blog or so ago -- too big now -- and my underwear is so big it's bunching under everything. I'm reticent to buy too much because I feel another big weight loss surge coming on after my re-fill so... check out Macy's clearance online. Got a Michael Kors dress for $23.88 and it's totally adorable.   3) Here's where it gets complicated - emotionally, I am still a giant fat woman. It is really taking a lot of time for me to wrap my head around the fact that I am merely overweight and not circus-fat-lady fat anymore. Every time I walk by a store window that shows my reflection, I find I'm looking to make sure I'm not as big as I sometimes think I am. And some days, I'm convinced I am - body dysmorphic disorder at work or just difficulty adjusting to someone I haven't seen in 30 years -- myself? I may seek some help with this one.   So, here I am, 1 day shy of 10 months since my banding. 95 lbs down. Wearing a size 18/20 (I'm 5'10" and started at a size 32). Working out 3x per week. Having more energy and joi de vivre than I ever remember having in my whole life.   Was it worth the ups and downs? You bet your much smaller ass it was! Next posting to announce the 100lb mark! Look for it.   :smile:
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

5
 

This thing is definitely on!

CURRENT MOOD: Cranky :mad2:   Some days just getting out a bed ends up being a bad idea. That was today. I felt a little tightness in my chest last night before bed and upon waking this morning but was going full steam ahead with the plan as prescribed by my doctor.   1/2 cup of coffee, 2 chewable vitamins later the 4 oz of oatmeal with skim milk seemed like a real treat. But nooooooooo. Even though I added plenty of milk to thin it, chewed every rolled oat and took almost 20 minutes to eat it I ended up with that awful pain in my chest again and, it didn't go away. I had it all day, from 10:30 this morning. I tried Gas-X, a warm drink, water, hot broth, a decent walk (in the pouring rain!) and nothing seemed to make it much better.   The walk: We went out for late lunch because husband and daughter still get to eat and they were hungry. We walked to the restaurant, probably 1/2 mile, and I had to tell them to go ahead because I felt so winded and uncomfortable. After lunch (broth) we went to the drugstore for the Gas-X and then to a toy store for the two 6-year old birthdays coming up. By the time I got home I was really quite sweaty - from the constant pressure and pain.   So, I called my sister in Norfolk to find out if she'd had a similar experience with her band. I forgot about the storm until she answered so I pretended that was why I called. They had 4 feet of flooding and no electricity or land line for 2 days now. Luckily, they have a generator so they can keep the mobile phones charged and, like so many houses right by the bay, theirs is on stilts. Brushing aside all their worldly possessions that were in jeopardy, my sister confirmed that my symptoms were the same she had when her band was too tight! Her suggestions was stick to cold fluids to get some of the swelling down and, if I am really hungry, try some fat free frozen yogurt.   I've been sipping ice water as I write this and it does seem to help somewhat. Lord knows I'm not going to attempt to eat anything solid again today but amazingly enough, I do feel a little peckish.   I suspected that my band was too tight (3cc fill upon insertion) yesterday and talking to my sister has sort of confirmed that. I suppose I'll need to stick to liquids until I can talk to the doctor on Monday. Dammit! I really wanted that oatmeal with mashed banana that's on the menu for tomorrow.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

5
 

Am I Going To Die? and Salad for the price of a cookie.

I had my 3rd post surgical appointment yesterday, one week shy of 4 months banded. I was glad to finally be seeing the doctor because I've had some digestive issues since my last fill -- vomiting, sliming, discomfort...you name it. And then, about a week ago, I felt a lump in my abdomen, just inside my hip bone. It was tender to the touch and seemed to move when I changed position. I thought maybe it was a hernia I'd never noticed because of all the fat on my gut before but definitely wanted to have it checked out.   So, I'm sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor and reading the informative poster about the digestive system which, as we know, ends in the colon and rectum. How delightful to read the symptoms of colo-rectal cancer while I've got a lump I'm worried about. Here's my thought process: "Let's see, hmmm, change in bowel habits - check, pain or tenderness in the abdomen - check, other TMI symptoms - check, check, check.... OMG, I HAVE COLON CANCER! Great! Isn't this just ironic that here I am, finally losing weight so I can live a healthier life and now I'm going to die from colon cancer anyway. I shouldn't have smoked. I shouldn't have drunk too much. I shouldn't have had a high fat diet. I shouldn't have.....oh, here comes the doctor."   So, when the doctor asks me how I am, I blurt out, "I have a lump in my abdomen and at first I thought it might be a hernia but after reading THAT, I'm a little worried it's colon cancer." He sort of laughs and says, "If you had colon cancer and could feel a lump through your stomach, you'd be f'n dead already." Well, I do like him for being blunt. So, he feels around and says it's a hematoma and asks if I had an injection recently. I did not and, I can't think of any incident where I got poked or fell on something..... So, chalk it up to all the swimming I did in Mexico - probably a small tear in my muscle. Phew. Thank goodness these hypochondria moments don't last too long.   So, now that I know I'm not going to die (from this particular ailment), I mention that I might need a slight unfill because I'm concerned I'm not getting enough food since the last fill on 1/27. I've been trying to do about 1/2 cup of food but find I get very full just at a little over 1/4 cup down and begin to feel uncomfortable, get slimy and..as I mentioned above, vomit. The doctor says I don't need an unfill and that 2 ounces of solid food at a sitting is just about right. So, no fill, no unfill.   But, you know, I really miss eating even though I take longer to do it now and can eat almost anything - just not much of it. I miss everything about cleaning my plate, the feel of the food in my mouth, having more than one course.....dessert!   Today I went to the cafeteria to get some lunch. I got a small soup (less than half filled) and put 1 hard boiled egg, one slice of cucumber and a few carrot shreds in the smallest salad container they had. When I took it to the cashier, it wouldn't weigh -- it was too light for the scale so she charged me for a cookie (!!!) -- all of $.50. I got a packet of mayo and made myself a little egg salad and had some on a saltine. It tasted good. I could have licked the container but I was too full. I couldn't even eat the 2nd saltine.   I signed up for this knowing the band was a tool and that I had to do the heavy lifting. It's working, I'm working. I'm vomiting, it's working. I'm sliming, it's working. I've lost 58 lbs, it's working. It's working, it's working.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

5
 

Woooooohoooo! It's Friday!

Current Mood: Excellent, party on! :tongue2:   I'm going with stream of consciousness blogging today....   Friday, Friday, Friiiiiiday! Started out the weekend right last night by having a lovely home-cooked chili courtesy of my husband, doing all the laundry, wrapping presents, watching a movie and having a glass of wine. I slept like a log for most of the night and today I hopped on the scale and....ta da....another 2 lbs gone.   I'm going into the weekend in a great mood and good attitude. Final holiday shopping, setting up the tree, some baking (I won't eat the cookies, I swear) and probably sledding too! Next year, I'll have to buy smaller snow pants so I might as well get use out of my big girl ones now!   I think I can cram in enough activity this weekend to lose the last 2 lbs needed to make my year-end goal of 30 lbs total.   Fills: When I got my first fill on the 3rd of December, I didn't ask about follow up so I finally called the doctor's office yesterday and they said to schedule my next fill at the end of January unless I really felt there was no restriction and then I might come in earlier. I feel the restriction and even had a bad moment this morning - possibly the first time I've had first bite syndrome. I've been talking to my sister, who also has a band and is now a size 8 at 5'10" (same height as me but much smaller frame in general), and she's told me about her PBs, eating too fast, gas, etc.... She says it is all worth it though she does miss pizza. I already ate pizza.   Have a great weekend! I hope you stay on track but don't forget to enjoy yourself!   B
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

OMG! I'm like a new woman...that might be a problem.

So I got an unfill yesterday. Dr. took 2.5 ccs from my band, which had been 7.5ccs in a 12cc band. I am like a different person. With the band too tight, I'd started to adjust my behavior to accommodate the issues -- too tight, eat less, have soup instead of solids, rationalize that everyone with a lap band pukes!   Now that the band is looser, I can burp. I can eat without pain. I feel SO MUCH BETTER that I can't believe I went for 5 weeks with a too tight band.   My concern about lack of restriction is definitely legitimate. I will work on a healthy diet but when it comes time for my next visit, I will definitely get a fill if I feel there is no restriction. Last night, I ate well but couldn't finish my meal. Today, I had a similar experience but made a bad choice. Salad and soup tasted great but probably didn't actually fill me up as much as another choice could have. I have to stick to the plan, even when the band isn't working for me.   Sorry if this blog entry was a bit like a self cheer leading effort...guess I just needed to talk myself into doing it right. Will report how I do with limited restriction.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

A Slip Reverses Itself - It's a Lapband Miracle!

There I was, plugging along with 6.5ccs in my band. Good restriction, had just reached the 100 pound mark and then I did it. I sat in front of a tub of food I took out of the fridge with a fork and ate right out of the container. I had already had dinner, but I felt like having a little something and I was PMSing so why not a couple of forkfuls of the delicious papardelle with lamb ragu? I'll tell you why... I ate too much and then it happened. I felt horrible, like I had a burp stuck and it wouldn't move and it was painful and uncomfortable and awful. Then my mouth started to water and I knew what was coming - this wasn't a PB - it was a full on, gut wrenching, up from the core puke! After I threw up, I felt a bit better. Then I threw up again and felt much better but when I went to take some water after, it burned going down and I got a horrible pain across my stomach. Irritation, I figured. It will be better in the morning.   Next morning, I took a Prilosec with a sip of water and it feels like acid going down my throat. I tried sipping warm water and coffee but couldn't even get through half a cup. Yogurt...one mouthful and I was in pain! So I thought I'd really done a number on my stomach and I'd better follow the rules until it felt better. 4 days later, I still couldn't eat without pain so I called the doctor and they told me to come right in. The PA took 0.2 ccs out and told me to continue taking the Prilosec daily and stick to the program and the irritation would fade. It didn't. For almost a week, I could barely get an ounce of food in at a time and liquids were not going down right either. I woke up in the night vomiting in my sleep and gagging -- all liquid -- for 4 days in a row. I was starting to feel weak.   Monday I called and they scheduled me to come in this morning. Monday was the same... hard to eat or drink anything but I kept taking the Prilosec and tried to stay hydrated. On Tuesday, I got up and had 1/2 a cup of coffee before I realized it didn't hurt and that it went down...so I finished it. I then had 1/4 cup of yogurt and that was fine too. Hmmmmm.... At work, I had an iced coffee and 16 oz. Crystal Light again, no problem whatsoever. Went out to lunch and had some buffalo mozzarella, a slice of tomato and two seafood raviolis... yep. All good. It seemed I was cured but I wanted to keep the appointment anyway to discuss what had happened.   Today, after telling the doctor my story he said it sounded as if my band had slipped with the retching and that 0.2ccs was not enough out of the band to correct a slip. Because I was so diligent though, the swelling went down and the band slipped back into place itself. Wow! I'm still on tender proteins, nothing too hard, and taking the Prilosec for a few more days but the doctor said we didn't have to take out anymore fluid and that I should continue doing what I am doing because now I'm down 106 lbs! Oh, and, he wanted to know who made the appointment because when you have the level of pain I had and the inability to hydrate, it is an emergency and I shouldn't have been told to wait until today.   So, moral of the story. Slips suck! I'm back on track with 6.3 ccs in my band, feeling fine and looking forward to losing even more.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

One year anniversary today - 114 lbs!

I feel like I finally have an "after" picture. I still have more to go and I'm fairly disgusted by all my loose skin but I'm healthy, feel good and the cosmetics can be fixed.   I said it before and I really do mean it, Lapband surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

What I Did During My Lapband Vacation

It's official. I gained 6 lbs since my "unfill" on March 10. It's probably not a full 6 lbs because I'm very bloated in a womanly way - I'm guessing it's about 3 lbs once I unload all this fluid.   The thing is, I really don't feel badly about the weight gain. I've been able to wrap my head around the idea that this is a process and with any long term endeavor, there are ups and downs. In this case, it's still mostly downs (as in weight going down) and I'm way ahead of where I was mentally and physically, even a month ago. Sure, a month ago the weight was falling off but it was at the price of vomiting, feeling unwell and feeling mentally punished for being fat all the time.   With the unfill, I was able to replenish both my body and my mind. I like to think of this period as a mini vacation from the band that allowed me to refresh and start anew...just like coming back from vacation and going back to school or work.   Yesterday, I got a fill. Only 1cc which brought me back to 6cc, exactly what I had after my first fill. I couldn't feel any restriction when I had my soup for lunch and fluids go down fine but I decided on some soft cheese, salad and hummus for dinner and I could feel it. Yay! Restriction is back and not too much. I may still need another adjustment but I'm really ready to get back on the wagon and correct these bad patterns I fell right back into over the last month:   1) Drinking while eating 2) Bread, bread, bread 3) Eating too fast and not chewing well enough - even with very little restriction I had a bad PB incident with a bagel 4) Slider foods and candy 5) Diet soda 6) Booze 7) Snacking   It was a great vacation - eating, drinking, my birthday, having too much fun with food - but I'm back now and tightening the reins.   Happy Easter, Passover, Spring to all!
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

Frustrated - Time to Vent

Current Mood: The title says it all   Here I am 12 days post op, having made bets on how much weight I would lose by the time of my first post op doctor visit, and I'm stalled.... already!   Ok, I get that the first 5 pounds just dropped off from being on liquids for a couple of days, then the next 5-6 were probably from this very low calorie soft food diet and not being able to eat much as a result of swelling. Now, however, the swelling is down and I don't feel any restriction. I am trying to make the right choices and I'm walking around hungry most of the time but the scale has not budged since Tuesday except to go up or down the same 2 lbs.   Restriction: My doctor put 3ccs in my band when he put it in 12 days ago. Last night I ate the inside of a calzone (ricotta, mozarella, mushrooms and a bit of ham). I chewed, I made it last, I swallowed small bits at a time and did not drink. I still managed to eat all of it which was more than the 4 oz my pouch is supposed to hold...it was more like 8 oz and I just couldn't stop myself!   I know the band is only a tool and it will take a lot of work and self control on my part but I thought one of the major functions of this tool was to make is very unpleasant to eat too much. It's not doing that for me yet. I guess that's why it takes 5-6 fills to get it right.   Also, I'm disappointed with myself for lacking control. I've just gone through this physically painful ordeal, subjected myself to surgery and anesthesia, taken off work and put my family through some major machinations yet I couldn't even make it through 2 weeks of the prescribed diet! I am weak.   And, to make things even worse, I am so constipated from this high protein diet with practically no fiber from vegetables and fruit. I remember one of my many past diets was Atkins - I felt the same way then and got very corked up and cranky. I just went off that diet and everything normalized. That's no longer an option.   To top it all off, I'm pre-menstrual and this is my "ravenous hunger" week. I dreamed of pizza!   That's certainly enough bitching and moaning for one post. If you've made it this far, I apologize for you having read my crankiness. I will try to think and act positively.   Positive: My pants were definitely sliding down my hips yesterday and I am no longer short of breath.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

4
 

So Much Energy! I'm A Different Person.

A few years ago, at my heaviest, my husband complained that I always said I was going to do something and then didn't. Simple things like vacuuming the living room or taking out the trash...I just couldn't muster the energy to complete even basic tasks. Boy how things have changed!!!   I cannot believe how much energy I have now. Such a busy weekend starting Thursday when I went out to happy hour and dinner with an old friend and was out quite late. Then I was at work early on Friday followed by lunch with friends, popped into my local on the way home, full weekend grocery shopping, made a fresh lasagna (including my own sauce) and then after dinner, full work out at the gym then met a girlfriend for drinks afterwards.   Saturday, even though I felt I was getting a bad cold, I woke up early and mowed the lawn and re-seeded the bare patches and watered it. Cleaned up the back patio, took my daughter to see Shrek (walked there) and then to the pool at the YMCA for 1.5 hours where I carried her on my back while running laps in the pool and walked with her while she did laps on her back. After that book shopping followed by a bite at a nice outdoor cafe and gourmet shopping before heading home.   Sunday, went to the gym at 8:30 to get a work out done before we headed out to a friends' bbq, head cold at full steam now and sinus pain but powered through it and managed a great day out including making about 100 water balloons for all the kids. Home by 10:30 and a friend popped in for a visit so we sat in the garden chatting until 1am.   You'd think I'd be done but no, I kept going. Monday, cleaned out all the clothes that are too big for Salvation Army (5 garbage bags, including shoes and some of my daughter's clothes), cleaned my bedroom and the office -- including moving furniture and wiping down baseboards, took out the trash and recycling and did 5 loads of laundry -- all folded and put away too. Also helped put the AC in the windows and seal them, changed lightbulbs and finally, got my hair colored and worked out again Monday night, getting home just in time to put my daughter to bed.   So, if anyone asks me how I'm feeling since losing 80 lbs, I honestly have to say that I have never had this much energy in my entire life. I feel so much more positive about getting things done because my back doesn't hurt and I'm not sweating like a pig and walking to the gym ISN'T TOO FAR at just over 1/2 mile when you consider how long I can go on the elliptical, bike and treadmill now.   I am hoping to lose 6 more lbs before I head to Montreal on the 11th. If I do, I will hit a major milestone and will have lost 31 lbs since I first stated my mini goal of 20 lbs for Montreal! Yay.   Hope you all have as much energy as I do and are feeling great!
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Just had surgery yesterday - Pain, Food, Drinks

MOOD: Very positive:smile2:   I had LAP-BAND® surgery yesterday, 11/9/09 at Lenox Hill Hospital. I weighed in about 11 lbs less than at my last doctor visit before surgery so I felt good about that. Surgery went smoothly - Dr. Roslin said it took 11 minutes - and I was in recovery before I knew it. The nurses were really great. Cute anesthesiologist too. Dr. Roslin told me he filled my band with 3ccs already. I walked out of the hospital with no problems early in the afternoon.   So, what about pain? The pain yesterday was all related to the CO2 used to inflate the abdominal cavity. It felt like someone was pushing my lungs or standing on my chest. After a couple of percocets, it mostly went away. I did not get the shoulder pain that is common with laproscopic surgery and they used a local on the incision sites so nothing there beyond a twinge when the dressing pulled.   Today, however, I've got muscle pain in my abdomen, diaphragm and neck and a sore throat and mouth, probably from the breathing tube. I am trying to get by with Aleve but if it doesn't subside I may go fill the percocet prescription.   I just ate my first "solid" food since Sunday morning - 2 days ago. I had about 2.5 ounces of fat free greek yogurt with 1/2 packet of Equal mixed in. I served it in a children's bowl and ate it with a small coffee spoon, like the kind you get with espresso. It only took me 10 minutes to eat it and I was trying to go slowly. No pain yet so I guess I did it right. The temptation to drink something while eating is very strong. I think this might be the hardest thing for me when eating, especially since my throat is sore. We'll see.   So, day one done. Day two off to a good start. I've got fat free cream of chicken soup lined up for lunch and dinner but I'm just not hungry enough to think about it right now. I'm sure it will be good though. And, my first protein shake is chilling now.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

My Scale Thinks It's On The Biggest Loser!

Current Mood: Optimistic :thumbup:   In preparation for my fill, I weighed myself this morning and I think my scale has delusions of grandeur or ambitions to be on TV! It is a new, good quality digital scale but when I get on, it does the same thing the scale on The Biggest Loser does....up, down, up, down, up, up, down, down. I find myself holding my breath to see where it settles every time. Luckily, I don't have to wait for a commercial break to find out what I weigh!   I think I've figured it out though...it never shows a weight lower than my actual weight, so at least I'm not thinking I lost 8 lbs for 1/10th of a second before it settles 5 pounds higher. I still have a sort of "phew" moment when it shows the low number every time.   I'm just really glad it can't talk! LOL
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Pardon Me But Your Weight Loss Upsets Me!

Current Mood: Slender :thumbup:   Ok, so I don't really feel slender, just less fat than I used to feel. It's a good thing.   I just came back from my second fill. After asking what I ate yesterday, my doctor said I really need a fill if I can eat 8 ounces of sirloin and 3 vegetable dumplings at a time! (Hey, at least it was protein, well..mostly) I got 1.5ccs added for a total of 7.5ccs in my 12cc band. I must say that I went into the appointment in a good mood but still feeling just a little bit disappointed that I hadn't lost more weight since my first fill on 12/3/09. Here's what I found out:   It's your fault! Yes, you! You people who lose 40 lbs in one month. You're making the rest of us feel bad! LOL.   Seriously, my doctor thought my 17 lbs was a great number and that I was ahead of the curve for lap band patients in general, especially considering my holiday season indulgences extended from 12/3 to 1/3!! He reiterated that lap band is slower loss than other WLS and I am right on track for me. I really like my doctor.   Fill effect: The cup of water in the doctor's office went straight down, no problem. Since I'm on liquids until tomorrow, I picked up a small corn soup on the way back to the office and when I got here, I looked at it and realized it seemed to be pretty heavy on the cream. I decided to eat it anyway. Well, I got about halfway through and then it happened....the moment I've been waiting for....my eureka moment. I felt the restriction with a liquid for the first time! I thought about taking one more mouthful but already had a gurgly burp brewing so I put the lid on the soup and dropped it in the trash. I put my yogurt in the fridge for tomorrow and called it lunch! I am so pleased right now and looking forward to losing more weight and maybe....just a little bit quicker.   Oh, and I was only kidding above. Everyone loses at a different pace and thought I might be a bit envious of those who drop it more quickly than I, I don't begrudge anyone his/her victories. You're doing spectacularly - keep up the good work.   B
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

God I suck!

Current Mood: Very Frustrated :wink2:   So last week I went back for the check up and everything was looking good so they told me to eat solid food for a week and come back for a fill today. Yesterday morning I ate two slices of apple with my breakfast and it did me in. I had a feeling indigestion for the whole day and decided to have soup for dinner and drink as much fluid as I could to "loosen up."   This morning, I could feel some pressure in the same place but it seemed to dissipate a little after a coffee. Breakfast went down fine - 2 scrambled eggs - but after I ate lunch the clogged feeling returned. I can only describe it as similar to the feeling I had the week after surgery when I was still swollen and tried semi solid food. Uncomfortable but not really painful.   So, being the honest woman that I am, I told the PA about it and she asked a few other questions and decided I shouldn't get the fill and instead I should go back to liquids for a couple of days and then call the doctor on Thursday. If the feeling hadn't gone away by then, they would probably want to get another upper GI series.   I am so disappointed! I gained two pounds. I have no restriction. I can eat and drink anything without any real restriction and then this set back. On top of this, I suffer from PMDD and my period is 4 days late (I attribute this to the stress of the surgery) - my OB/Gyn says the later the period, the worse the PMS/PMDD. I am depressed, sad, angry, feeling like a total failure and embarrassed that I acted like a total f'ing baby at the doctor's office today.   So, feeling like crap emotionally, and on the verge of tears, I leave the office and run into my surgeon on the street. He asks me what's wrong and I warn him that his PA is going to tell him what a baby I am.   I feel like such a failure. I go through a major alteration to my body to lose weight and I feel like this journey that everyone writes about just won't start for me. It's like I'm seated in coach, in a middle seat, on the runway for 9 hours and they won't let anyone get up or take the damn plane back to the gate.   I know it took me a long time to get this fat and it will take time to lose the weight...I just want to START.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

On the verge of another decade!

CURRENT MOOD: A-OK :thumbup:   I've been pretty successful at getting back on the program since the new year and it is paying off. I got on the scale yesterday and was down a few more pounds. I am judging my weight loss by my personal history and I am currently somewhere in the mid 1990s. I am hoping to break into the late 1980s by the end of the summer.   Something new: I finally experienced getting food stuck for the first time and it IS really as unpleasant as everyone says. I didn't vomit, slime or foam but the pain stopped me in my tracks and my husband thought I was choking for a second until I was able to say what was going on. It was steak and I just didn't chew it well enough. The weirdest sensation was when it cleared. I could actually feel it slipping through my stoma after a couple of minutes and sips of water. Very strange and uncomfortable. Why did this happen? Well, I've eaten steak plenty of times (it seems I need solid meat to stave off hunger) but I was wolfing down my food because we'd waited too long for lunch. Then we chose a restaurant that was too crowded so we went to another restaurant and the kitchen happened to be incredibly slow. I think I said something about lunch initially at 1:30 and it was literally 3:20 by the time our food arrived in front of us. It was a learning experience: 1) Do not wait too long to eat or you risk eating too fast and not chewing well enough 2) Do not choose a restaurant that is so popular you will have at least a 25-30 minute wait for a table when you are already hungry 3) Do not choose a restaurant over a mile away and insist on walking (for the exercise) when you are hungry 4) Chew, chew, chew, especially steak 5) Have some sort of signal ready for your loved ones so they don't think you are choking to death and try to do the Heimlich maneuver on you   I am getting my 2nd fill on 1/28. I currently have 6ccs in a 12cc band and can still eat over 8 ounces in a sitting. I am hoping to have restriction at a lower volume and get used to it before our vacation to the all-inclusive (BUFFETS!) resort in Mexico on 2/16! I am also hoping to drop another 10 lbs by then and fit in the seat on the plane without pushing up the arm and overlapping on my 6-year old. Well, that part might be pushing it...I probably need to lose 30 more lbs before I stop overlapping on planes.   A couple of updated stats: Weight loss total since consultation: 34lbs Weight loss since surgery on 11/9: 23 lbs Jeans: same size but now they actually fit and don't restrict the circulation in my lower body! LOL
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Almost 6 months out and 70lbs down.

Sunday will be the 6-month (semi) anniversary of my surgery. As of this morning, I am 70 lbs down from my consultation weight. And, amazingly enough, I've even started a Personal Fitness Program and am now looking forward to getting to the YMCA every other day instead of dreading it. I am still dreading the elliptical which has nearly killed me several times!   I got another fill on April 20th and I think that was the one that really did the trick. I'm finally at the sweet spot with 7ccs in my 12cc band. I am not hungry (most of the time), I can eat about 3-4 ounces at the most and if I do have one bite too many, I can feel it immediately. This last fill also gave me limitations I hadn't had previously: Bread, cake, greasy food - nope! And, if I have a soda or chew gum, I get terrible chest gas that requires Gas-X strips immediately. Can't do them anymore without severe discomfort. So, I've learned in the last two weeks what to avoid and how the band actually works.   Yesterday I felt practically slim - I was wearing jeans a size too big, platform sandals and a nicely cut (cleavage revealing) shirt. Two friends said I looked "skinny." I know they meant skinny for me and not actually skinny but boy did I feel good. The only problem -- my underpants kept falling down! Guess it's time for new drawers.   I have a few questions for fellow banders today:   1) How do you feel about your body? After years of being obese and of a certain age, my skin is not retracting at all. I've gotten super jiggly and wiggly and I really don't like how it looks or feels. I know I have a lot farther to go (another 60 lbs) but I'm already appalled by what I see. I suppose I should start saving for cosmetic surgery now.   2) Who do you tell about your band? I have told my very good friends, family and a few work colleagues but there is one guy I can't stand at work who keeps asking me what my secret is. He's not asking because he needs to lose weight, he's just being nosy. This same guy and his partner had a baby last November and the mother has got to be at least 48 years old. Last time he started trying to get info about my weight loss I nearly blurted out, "Hey, I don't ask how you got a baby out of 50-year old woman, do I?"   3) How long do I have to wait to get my neck/chin sucked out and tightened? I didn't have that big of a double chin to start but in the last 15 lbs or so, it's gotten sort of jiggly without the fat to fill it out. I will definitely need a neck lift and was thinking about going for a consultation now to find out what the surgeon thinks. Has anyone else had this surgery before they got to goal weight?   Please open your books and begin your essays now. Put your books face down on the desk when you have completed answering the questions. Thank you and good luck.   Barbara
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Lose Vs. Loose

Let's just get this out of the way first: I am a spelling bitch! I try to see past the poor spelling and grammar all over the internet so that I can actually absorb ideas, experiences and thoughts that might be helpful but I just can't get over some simple mistakes.   This is a weight loss website. We should be able to tell the difference and, spell the difference, between lose and loose. Every time I see someone say he/she is not "loosing" I cringe. Don't even get me started on there/their/they're!   So, I know it is my problem but maybe some of you will find this helpful anyway:   Lose (pronounced looz) - This is what you do with weight (and car keys and other small personal items). While in the process of shedding weight, you are losing. In the past, you have lost. If you win on the TV show, you are the biggest loser.   Loose (pronounced loos) - Your pants (and possibly your skin) should be loose after losing weight. Your clothing may be looser than it was previously. In fact, your dress may be the loosest it has ever been when your LAP-BAND® is no longer loose.   I hope this helps some of you who struggle with the right choice of words.   For those of you who are offended, sorry. Just getting it off my chest, which is currently encased in a very loose bra because I have lost so much weight and am still losing.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Good news for the new year!

Current Mood: Hopeful:thumbup:   My last blog entry was about how much I drank (and ate) over the holidays and the fear of getting on the scale. After New Year's I went back on the program and finally screwed up the courage to get on the scale on Monday, 1/4. As the title says, it was some very unexpected good news!   I'd previously suspected about a 4 pound gain but I was wrong. Instead, I have lost about 15 pounds since my fill on 12/3. Wow! 15 pounds over the holidays and I wasn't actually following the plan very closely. I still think I eat too much in one sitting but I definitely feel some restriction and if I eat too fast (usually bread) I get a horrible pain that takes a minute or two to go away. At least when that happens, I have to stop eating.   For the new year, my resolution is to make better food choices, avoid too much alcohol and finally get to the YMCA to sign up for the free (for members) personal fitness program.   Other thoughts:   1) I got back in touch with a friend from 25 years ago via Facebook. Hopefully by the time I see her again,I will weigh less than I did in 1984.   2) My skin is squishy already. Man am I going to need some serious plastic surgery after this.   3) I love cooking and am considering it as a new career which is sort of funny for someone who has food and weight issues. I realized the reason I love cooking is the appreciation of those eating my good food not because I want to eat it all myself. As Martha Stewart would say, "this is a good thing."   4) I wonder how much weight I need to lose to go down one size in pants. I have been wearing the same size (even when they were so tight I could barely move) for the last 31 lbs and they are getting loose, finally.   5) If I could just win Mega Millions...
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

By jove I think she's got it! Down 9 lbs in 5 days.

Current Mood: Pleased and Relieved:cool2:   The fill worked! I have been very tempted to shove food in my mouth and/or keep eating when I think I've had enough and I've been able to stop when I needed to stop! To a certain extent, I think it is mental. I'm just too afraid of pain and vomiting to push it. But then again, maybe I'm just beginning to recognize the signs of a band that is properly restrictive.   I just came back from lunch with a colleague and brought at least 2/3 of it back. It was delicious - chicken breast, mushrooms w/ goat cheese and roasted potatoes - and I could have kept on going but once I hiccuped, I decided that was enough and hoped my body was trying to send me a signal. I had the food removed from the table and wrapped immediately so I wouldn't keep snacking. I brought it back to the office and gave it to someone who was quite pleased. It's working.   Since my first fill last Thursday - 3ccs - (admittedly after soup and about a quart of water and while having my period) I have lost 9 lbs. I think the fluids and water weight I was holding probably accounted for 4-5 lbs so I'm feeling pretty good about my loss because I figure it's 4-5 lbs of NOT WATER. I make my total weight loss since consultation to be 26 lbs. I'm on target to lose the 30, and maybe more, I'd hoped for by Christmas.   Setting Mini Goals: How do you determine what your mini goals are? I think mine are related to where I was in my life when something specific was happening rather than a particular number on the scale. Here are my mini goals:   1) The low after my daughter was born in 2003 - 9 lbs away 2) When I quit smoking in April - 24 lbs to go 3) When I met my husband - 44 lbs to go 4) When I started my career - 60 lbs to go 5) When I graduated from high school - 80 lbs to go (must also lose 2" of height! haha)   If I get that far, I'll have to set some new goals based on pants size because although I can remember what I weighed when I was in 8th grade, I am 4" taller and a lot older so it's actually lower than my ultimate goal.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

3
 

Here We Go - First Post Op Visit

Current Mood: Lighter :cool2:   Had my first pre-op visit yesterday. Down a total of 20 lbs (they count from the consultation and with clothes on!!) so far. It was more but in the last few days I added a couple of pounds from PMS and once again, the dread of high protein diets.... constipation.   After a quick check of my incisions, which are pretty much healed, and a measurement of my waist (huh? they didn't do that before and I didn't see what it measured anyway), the PA asked questions: Are you hungry? RAVENOUS. Do you feel any resistance? NONE What can you eat? Everything. Etc, etc. On the chart that shows too tight all the way on the left and not tight enough to the right, I put myself about 8" off the chart to the right. I am so hungry.   Next steps: The PA says it is time for a fully solid food diet. No more mushy stuff, no gravy, no condiments....protein, veg, fruit and good carbs and that's it. She wants to see how I do on solids for a week and then I'm getting a fill - just 3 weeks after surgery! I'm kind of excited about a fill because I feel like my new tool will finally be put to use. It's still shiny and new but don't we all appreciate something when it's a little more broken in and used?   I celebrated the move to solid food with meat last night - lamb, two bites of naan bread and lots of curried onions. I ate too much and would have been uncomfortable if I hadn't had the 1/2 mile walk home to move things along.   And boy, did it move along! The Benefiber supplement finally kicked in. I'm thinking I am down a couple more pounds today. Phew.   Next test, Thanksgiving, which will be interesting because we're not going anywhere and no one is coming over. I told my husband to get the smallest fresh turkey he could find at the market. He came home and proudly presented me with an 8 lb Purdue Oven Stuffer Roaster. He is right -- it doesn't actually say chicken anywhere on the package but come on!!!! This is what I get for asking a Brit to buy the Thanksgiving turkey. If I can't get a fresh bird today then we're having chicken. But..absolutely NO GRAVY! Per the PA it lubricates the food and makes it slide through the stoma faster. Maybe just a dab.   Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Remember, don't gobble gobble.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

2
 

Food, glorious food! And, I was right - 5.3 lbs gone.

CURRENT MOOD: Surprised :mad2:   After yesterday's fiasco with too much coffee, I poured myself half a cup this morning and took it so slowly that I couldn't finish the last couple mouthfuls because it was so cold. The good news is....no pain!   Today is my first "mushy" day and it was so good to have something with texture finally. Breakfast was 1 cup of skim milk, 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder and 1/4 cup of strawberries thrown in the food processor with a couple of ice cubes. It was surprisingly good but I couldn't finish it. I took a nap through lunch time but walked to the store to get some fresh cauliflower. What? Cauliflower. I usually hate it but I looked up a few recipes and thought I might as well try it. Again, SURPRISE! Mashed cauliflower with some margarine, a bit of chicken stock, a splash of milk, salt & pepper and then chopped up .75 ounces of smoked Gouda and threw it in the microwave to heat through and melt the cheese. Oh my it was good. I guess I'm excited about food since I hadn't had anything solid since 11/7. Of course, the house stinks of cauliflower   Fill, really? My surgeon filled my band with 3ccs when he put it in on Monday. I've been reading a lot of blogs and it seems like most people start with an empty band. So, Surprise #3, I've already got restriction.   All in, a good day. Three more days at home and then back to work - that will be a challenge.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

2
 

Pardon me, that wasn't the dog!

Current Mood: Good:thumbup:   Well, as much as I enjoyed the cauliflower yesterday, I paid for it dearly. A couple of hours after I ate it and several sips into my protein shake I was struck with debilitating gas pains. I have heard others compare this type of gas pain to labor with labor coming out on top.... they are right! Oh how I wished I could burp, or vomit or anything but no....   Instead I went on line and quickly realized that chemical intervention was required and it was going to have to be something OTC...Maalox to be exact (Gas X was actually recommended by name repeatedly but my corner store didn't have any)! With the aid of Simethicone, the gas storm subsided somewhat though I still had pain. I did not eat dinner. In fact, I took a Percocet, sipped some water to help the Maalox through and went to bed. Lying down helped.   This morning it was all gone and I proceeded with caution. Greek yogurt and, dare I try it, 1/4 cup of unsweetened apple sauce. Well, the gas kicked in but not nearly as harshly as yesterday. This time I took a spoonful of Maalox and headed out of the house for a walk. It didn't seem to dislodge the gas so I decided to try warm liquid - decaf, about 3 ounces. I sipped it while I got a pedicure. Well at least that turned out well. The gas was still there but not as bad by the time I walked home.   I decided to try for lunch because I actually heard grumbling and felt a bit hungry. Mmmmmm, 2 eggs in 1 cup of fat free chicken broth did the trick (ate about half). Not only was it mouth satisfying, but the pains went away too after a few much appreciated burps.   Since lunch...um, let's just say if there were a dog around, it would be getting blamed for the noises coming out of whatever room I am in. Wow! That cauliflower is finally making itself heard and it's not pleasant but boy does it feel good. To paraphrase a famous quote, "A fart by any other name would still smell as ...." Well, you get the point.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

2
 

Science is cool!

Current Mood: Light and Breezy :biggrin:   At 8:30 yesterday morning, exactly one week since my surgery, I got an upper GI series to check the position of my band. I was worried about drinking the barium before I went as I'd had a bit of a difficult weekend with pain and the feeling that I had too much restriction. Phew! They don't give you the giant bottle after the band, just a little cup of barium and, I only had to take a few sips. It was really pretty cool watching it go down my throat into the "pouch" and then through the stoma to the larger part of my stomach, which appeared to be something like outer space the way the liquid sort of floated around. The radiologist said it looked exactly right (8 and 2 o'clock) and the restriction looked fine as well.   I feel much better today than I did over the weekend or even yesterday. Maybe it was swelling from the surgery that was causing me the trouble. It seems to be pretty much gone now although I still feel...something and, I am still getting winded from walking.   Besides the X-ray, I also went back to work yesterday. I've been very open about my surgery with a number of colleagues and to the last one, they all said I looked like I'd lost weight. I even showed a couple of them the incisions (they still had steri strips on them) and then...I got to work.   Work is going to be an issue -- too bad I haven't won Mega Millions yet. I don't have enough time in the morning to eat, make my lunch and my daughter's breakfast and lunch and get my daughter to school and then get myself to work on time so I decided to bring my breakfast with me and eat once I get to my desk. Of course, I want my coffee first, which takes at least 20 minutes to drink, then I have to wait 1/2 hour and take 20-30 minutes to eat and then wait 1/2 hour for more to drink. By the time I've actually finished breakfast, it's pretty much lunch time. So far, I've just pushed lunch to later but then, when do I have my protein shake and all that water? I know I just need to work it out but it's a bit of a juggle right now.   Update on the post op situation at day 8: 1) I pulled off the steri strips after my shower this morning and 2 of the 3 small incisions look a little red so I put Neosporin and bandaids on them. The other small one looks like a scratch that is healing well. The doctor buried my port behind my navel so, unfortunately, the largest scar is also where I bend and where my jeans hit. 2) My stomach muscles are sort of tender and I have to keep forcing myself to stand up straight instead of leaning forward when I walk - probably just a little residual pain from the surgery, 3) I have a raging yeast infection from the IV antibiotics (this was mentioned in the literature I got before surgery) even with a near constant diet of yogurt. OTC remedy in the works. 4) The band feels tighter in the morning and seems to loosen up as the day goes on. I wake up with a feeling of slight indegestion followed by uncomfortable burps and/or hiccups within the first minute or so of being upright. 5) After days of being ...uh, non-productive and taking colace for that issue, I finally, and with much struggle....um, produced last night. Yay! This took longer than I anticipated so I just bought some Benefiber to add to ....EVERYTHING. 6) I can eat a full 4 ounces of yogurt and 2 ounces of apple sauce without pain.   Good news on the scale this morning: I was down 11.3 lbs from my day-of-surgery weight. That's 21.9 lbs down from my consultation weight. I really can feel the difference and it's good.
BarbaraWM

BarbaraWM

2
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