I realize that even after losing over 60 pounds in 7 months, I'm not going to feel "skinny." I have at least another 60 pounds to go and I also realize that even skinny chicks have their fat days. So, I'm just going to wallow a bit in my fat day.
Yesterday my feet were killing me. I have had MUCH less trouble with my feet as I have lost weight. At the height of my weight gain, I could barely get through a normal day of work in crocs or tennis shoes. Now, I am careful with the shoes I wear, but I can wear "normal" shoes to work and I work out regularly. My feet ache some, but I think that is normal. However, yesterday, it was like I was back up to 285. :cool:
They hurt throughout the day. At the end of the workday, we received an email that the elevators were not functioning. We were told that we could use the service elevator, but there is only one. The service elevator is the slowest form of transportation on the planet under normal circumstances. For it to service all 22 floors, it would take me an hour to get to the lobby from the 18th floor! I had to get to Jazzercise, so I took the stairs. I have to say that it wasn't as bad as in the past when we have had to do fire drills, so that's a plus. But my legs were a little jello-ish at Jazzercise.
My feet hurt so bad at class, I feel like I was at 50-60%. I don't think walking the stairs was the cause since they hurt throughout the day, but I'm sure it didn't help. I was SO internally cranky during that class. I was picking fights with people in my head to the point I had to physically shake it. [sidebar: Do you all do that? I often times find myself picking fights or having arguments in my head. For instance, if I know that I'm going to tell my boss something he isn't going to like, I have the worst case scenario conversation in my head. It drives me crazy! I'm getting better about not doing that, but I certainly did it last night!]
I went home and did all the things with my feet that I am supposed to do. They feel a lot better today and I tried to pick out a pair of comfortable shoes. No Jazzercise today, but I'm planning to workout at lunch. I think I will choose the ellypical or the bike so I can limit impact on my feet. Then, because I am a glutton for punishment, I plan to walk down the stairs at the end of the workday. That is my punishment for wallowing in my fatness. :laugh:
Oh well, tomorrow is another day!!
Today I RAN my first 5K. YAY!! My first goal was to finish...check! My second goal was to RUN the whole thing and not stop or walk...check! My third goal was to finish in 45 minutes...close. I saw the clock hit the 45 minute mark but I wasn't quite there. I'm pretty sure I finished before 46 minutes though. I will have to check the website tomorrow to be sure exactly.
My SIL was AMAZING! She is a runner and could've made it in half the time, but she was with me every step of the way. My nephew took off at the start and finished in 27 minutes. He is 10 yo and is SO AWESOME!
It was so discouraging at the beginning because it felt that the whole crowd flew past us and I felt like my chest was about to burst open. The first mile seemed hard for me but I figured out at the first mile marker that we did it in 12:54...considering I usually run a 14 minute mile, no wonder I was tired!!
The second mile started with a hill that was about 1/3 mile long. It was when I really wanted to walk. I kept thinking that I could walk faster than I was running. In fact, some walkers passed me at times. HA! But Gretchen kept encouraging me and even at one point jogged ahead and came back to report on where the hill ended. Once I got up that, I KNEW I HAD to finish the race running. The 2nd mile (with the hill and the fast first mile) was REALLY slow, but I made it. The 3rd mile is a blur. I only remember seeing each hill and saying "Oh my God, Gretchen" every single time. And every single time she would say "You can do it!" or "You are doing awesome!" or "You have a good pace, keep it up!" In fact, she carried water for me and would uncap it and give it to me whenever I wanted something.
I honestly keep getting tears in my eyes thinking about it. When we hit somewhere mid 3rd mile, I hit a brick wall. We were passing over a bridge and I remember thinking that I could die. My chest felt like it was going to explode, but I was SOOO close. When we saw the finish line I heard a girl's voice yell "Go Beth!" Later I realized that my SIL's sister was there. Then my brother was at the finish line to cheer me in and take my picture. I have NEVER in my life loved my brother more than in that moment.
When I crossed the finish line, I burst into tears. This was MY marathon. Four months ago, I couldn't run a mile. I am so blessed that all those who love me didn't tell me I couldn't do it. They just supported me along the way.
I did it!! And now I just want to do it again and better! Well...as soon as I can feel my legs again. :confused: You all are also part of my inspiration network and I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
I'm finishing this day by taking my soon to be 7 yo niece to get a manicure, then to the mall and dinner. Can't think of a better way to spend the day!!
I weigh every morning which some say is a no-no. It is a motivating tool with me. If I'm up, I commit to working harder. If I'm down, I get excited and I'm ready to do more. I guess I just need a lot of feedback.
In the past, that has only worked for a little while. Because although when I am up, I get motivated to work harder...that only works when you go down most of the time. That's why things are going so well now. I don't mind working out 4, 5 or even 6 hours a week because I'm seeing results. (Interesting side note: I always thought I worked out 4-6 hours a week, but when I started actually tracking it, I wasn't. I've found that writing it down makes me accountable and more likely to actually work out more.)
If I woke up most mornings weighing the same or more, I don't think I would have the motivation to continue. Although I'm up, down and all over the place each day, I am consistantly moving down the scale overall.
Which (finally) gets me to my point. Tuesday I had a 30 minute work out, but I totally splurged at dinner with friends...not horribly mind you, but definitely more than normal. Wednesday I was at the same weight as Tuesday. Makes sense. Wednesday I worked out for 90 minutes total in two sessions and ate well. On Thursday, I was down 8 tenths. YAY! But still makes some sense. Yesterday, I did a Jazzercise class, but during the day I ate a brownie, a serving of Chocolate PB Hagendaas ice cream, & two Ghiradelli chocolate/caramel squares. DUDE. That was ridiculous! Today I'm down 4 tenths. WHAT?? Now, I know enough not to take that at face value, but ha!! It is my goal today to eat well enough and work out hard so that 4 tenths doesn't pop up tomorrow!
The challenge is on! By the way, my size 2 Lane Bryant jeans are getting baggy in the booty. Should be into the size 1s soon! After that...regular store jeans! Woohoo!!
I had a wonderful Christmas vacation with friends and family. I'm so fired up for my pre-op diet (starting Jan. 12th) and my surgery (Jan. 27th)!!
I see my parents several times a year, but I only see my brother's family 2-3 times a year. In 2009 we went to Disney World in January, but then I didn't see them again until September. So seeing them again in December seemed quick, plus I stayed over a week!
I had planned to tell my (adorable, thin, runner, supportive, wonderful) sister-in-law about my surgery, but when I got up there I just decided to wait. I felt sure that she would be supportive, but I wasn't sure how my brother would react and mostly I just didn't want to bring it up.
All was fine, but I guess I never told my mom that I wasn't going to say anything. I'm not exactly sure of the conversation, but she indicated to my SIL that I had something to tell her. I told her that she could just tell her and so she did. I was alone in the car with SIL yesterday before I left and she asked me about it. She was lovely and wonderfully supportive. **The Shocking Part** My brother is a good brother, but he is not always the nicest of guys. He is an atheletic popular type and people just LOVE him. He can be very mean, but then gets mad when you call him on it. One day he was just so grumpy that I left the house. I'm sure it was just having us all around, but gees...deal, we do. Most of the time he was great, so a blip every once in a while is fine. I'm sure I get on his nerves too, so there you go. Anyway, he took me to the airport yesterday and was very nice. When we stopped, he went to the back of the car to help me with my luggage. He hugged me and said "Good luck with your procedure. We'll be thinking of you." That was huge, people. I mean...just huge.
My SILs sister is having a baby in March and we were sitting around the living room talking about baby names. We started teasing about what I would name my baby. My 6 year old niece got so excited because she thought I was pregnant. She was jumping around and said..."That's why you're so fff..." I smiled and laughed and said "..fat? No, we are just teasing." My SIL was slightly mortified, but I took it in stride.
The most horrific moment of the trip was when I got on the plane to come back. The seatbelt didn't fit. I had one on the way that fit with spare room. I feel confident that I didn't gain that much over the week, but it didn't matter. Maybe it was a different kind of plane. I asked the guy attendent and he was super nice and quiet about it. I think if this would have happened before I had made my decisions and plans, I would have broken down. Instead, I let myself get teary eyed for a few minutes, then I just let it go. It is just another not-so-fun reminder that I have a plan that is right for me and things WILL change.
28 days to surgery!!
I attended my 2nd LB support group last night. Even though I'm not being banded until January, they are so inclusive and helpful.
It is so wonderful to sit in a room with people that are going through, have gone through or will go through what I'm going through now. They also do things together outside of group, so it brings in a whole new social element.
One of the veterns (she was banded in Dec 2008, met her goal of 84 lbs lost in July and has been maintaining since) gave me her phone number and email address just in case I have any questions that come up. I mean really...how sweet is that!?! She looks FABULOUS, by the way.
I also met some girls my age and they seem fun to get to know. One of the girls talked about how she lost 150 pounds but then she had a band issue and had to empty it. She then went on a bender and gained 15 pounds before she was able to get back on track. 15 pounds?? I don't want to belittle what I'm sure was a difficult time for her, but I can gain 15 pounds over the holidays! It was another example to me how this can be such an effective tool, not only for weight LOSS, but especially for maintaining.
No one, not even the girl with trouble, regretted or didn't like their band. There was a newbie, banded in late October, that was having a little trouble adjusting, but still willing to work at it.
It is interesting how passionately people feel about the time prior to surgery (diet vs. pig out.) People certainly can argue adamantly one way or the other!!
Bottom line is that I love my support group and plan to be a part of it for a long time!!
Hi everyone!! I hope you all had a great holiday weekend!
I went to Florida last Wednesday to see my parents. We had such a great time! My mom & I shopped and shopped. I have 4 new dresses, 4 new pairs of shoes, several new tops and a new pair of shorts. Oh, and a new beautiful purse! It was interesting to shop for snug clothes. I just hate to buy something that will be too big soon. I'm not complaining, just trying to be smart.
Except for the nightly ice cream, I was able to eat well and exercise. My parents have a pool and I was in it almost every day. Plus, they have a mile circle around their neighborhood. One day I did a Couch to 5K (week 2) program and another day I jogged one loop. That is the first time I have jogged a mile since high school!!! My dad was (good naturedly) skeptical that I will be able to jog a 5K by Labor Day, but I know I will be able to do it! A month ago, I could barely jog 30 seconds. I just need to work at it!
Weekly progress: I lost 3.2 pounds this week. On vacation?? That just seems crazy. I think I tend to follow my rules better away from home.
Monthly progress: I lost 8 pounds in May. Woo hoo! The best part is that I'm no longer Morbidly Obese!! That makes me very happy.
Tonight I'm going to see Wicked! Yay! I've seen it 3 times before, but it is one of my very favorites, so I'm looking forward to it. I will try to measure tomorrow night to get my monthly measurements tracked.
Next week...possibly a fill & new pics!!
I just read a whole bunch of posts from people who have had bad experiences with LB. There were studies sited and personal experiences shared. Sigh. Then there were people not being so nice to the posters. There are flat out denials, but then there is some compromise. Double sigh.
I do understand that this is not magic. I understand that it will be up to me to make good food choices, to chew well, to exercise, and do all of the other things I need to do. I understand that I will need to listen to my body and trust my intincts.
My biggest fear from what I was reading is that I will either feel no restriction or feel so restricted that I'm constantly throwing up. There were several people that had that experience and it scares me because the point of the LB is restriction, but too much is so unhealthy and counterproductive.
My second biggest fear is that my stomach will erode around the band or that I will develop scar tissue on my liver and not realize it until a lot of damage has been done.
I'm certainly not talking myself out of this, but it I can't say that it didn't dampen my spirits a bit this afternoon.
I guess everyone faces the same thing. I am definitely not turned off by how much work it will be, but it is disheartening to think that I will do this, work hard and still could end up in a worse place.
I prefer happy posts. :tongue2:
Thanks for all the feedback yesterday! Two weeks from Saturday, I will have the cut. So, stay tuned, I'm sure there will be pics by October 18th!!
I watched the Biggest Loser last night. I know that it is the most realistic approach to weight loss seeing that we wouldn't have time to work out 8-10 hours a day. But I just love seeing what people can do.
The first thing that struck me is that I'm not sure if I could do a Biggest Loser work out! I work out a lot, but what they were doing was amazing. I was so proud of myself for jogging on a 5.0 incline yesterday for 30 seconds. She was having them at a 7.0 incline for longer!! I realize they are puking and I don't push myself to that point, but it is still amazing what you can do if someone is pushing you and you are receptive.
Second thing that struck me was when one of the guys had a bit of a breakdown and he questioned how he had gotten there. That really struck home for me.
I grew up "the fat girl." Looking at the pictures from my past, I wasn't that big. Even my dad said to me that when he looks back at old pictures he doesn't remember me being that small. I think part of it was that I weigh heavy. I was roughly the same size as some of my friends, but I weighed a good 20-30 pounds more than they did. That remains true today. My mom & I are wearing the same size clothes (for the most part), but she weighs over 40 pounds less than I do. So I think that we had a mindset from the beginning that I was FAT, when maybe I wasn't really.
Then I think we (I) became so focused on it. I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in 4th grade. At the time, I just wanted to be smaller, but in retrospect, there were probably better ways to focus my attention. I was on NutriSystem in high school and I consistently snuck food. My parents found out and (rightly so) got angry for wasting money. I just felt like a big, fat failure.
I remember going to fast food restaurants with my family and my brother ordered french fries, but I couldn't. Now I wonder if I really wasn't allowed to, or if I just felt too guilty (fat) to order them. I honestly do not know.
When I got to college, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. However, my Freshman year I didn't have a car and I walked all over the place, including to my job which was several blocks away from campus. My sophomore year I had a car, but by December I had moved into the Sorority quad which in my case meant a 4th floor walk up! I think walking those 3 flights of stairs multiple times a day kept me in check through the end of my junior year. My senior year I moved off campus. I was only a block away from where I was before, but it was on the first floor and instead of walking to classes, I drove. It was ridiculous and I'm quite sure that I gained 40-50 pounds that year.
I entered college around 185 and I left college around 250. I fluctuated between 200 and 260 for 13 years until I decided I had enough. I have been to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. I have worked out, taken pills prescribed by the doctor and over the counter. I have done Atkins and South Beach. But nothing worked or it did for a little while until I couldn't stay at it. In November 2009 I weighed a whopping 285 pounds. I weighed more that my (hefty) dad.
It was hard at the time to see how I got there, but now it doesn't matter. I have a tool that actually works for me! I am working hard, but I'm successful! I have another 6-12 months of weight loss to go, but I'm not at all intimidated by that. That's a first!
For the first time, I'm in control! And it feels darn good. I'm over 70 pounds down since January and I fully expect to be under 200 by Thanksgiving! I would like to have lost 100 pounds by 1/31/10. Even if I don't make every goal, I'm going in the right direction and THAT is enough to keep me moving!!
Anyway, I was a little "rambly" today, but The Biggest Loser will do that for me. Have a great day, y'all!!
After my run yesterday morning, I was SO hot. I even took a cold shower to help cool me off. I was fine most of the day until the afternoon. My office is always cold, but since I'm so hot natured, I never needed anything more than a fleece jacket. But yesterday, I was freezing. I made it through the afternoon (SHIVERING!) and went to Jazzercise.
While I was warm through class, I wasn't ridiculously hot like I usually am when I work out. After class, I felt chilled to the bone. When I got home, I turned my heater on 74 (it is usually on 68-70 in the colder months) and wrapped up like a burrito in my blanket. I finally warmed up in time for bed. But then I was so hot I couldn't sleep!! HAHA!
This morning I tried to dress appropriately. I'm wearing a long sleeved T-shirt. Over that I have on a short sleeved sweater. Over that I have on a boiled wool jacket. That should be enough layers to take care of any situation!! :-) Right now with all of these clothes on, I'm comfortable.
It's possible that I've not been this small as an adult in cold weather. Or at least not for long. It will be interesting to see if at 36 I turn into a cold person after being hot all my life or if this was a one day phenomenon.
Happy Wednesday everybody!
Tuesday, I went to the doctor because I was sick. While the doc was feeling up my tonsils, he seemed to get serious and really started pressing on my neck. He said that he was feeling small nodes on my thyroid.
He went on to say that I needed to get an ultrasound to confirm. He said that he has found several of these types of nodes on patients and only twice has it turned out to be anything. But in both of those cases, it was found so early, that they were easily treatable.
So, today I went for my ultrasound. My first prayer is that my doc's fingers are too sensitive and there isn't actually anything there. :-) Until I hear otherwise, I will do my best not to think about it.
On another note, I had a nice time with my cousin last night. We have so many biological (?) things in common, but our personalities are very different. We talked some about our weight struggles. It definitely runs in our family.
I do enjoy my downtime at home by myself, but I really like to surround myself with people. Joni, on the other hand, is more of a loner. She was showing me pictures of her last few years and she spends a lot of time camping on her own. I admire her a lot for doing so much on her own and not letting it stop her.
Although I don't think we have enough in common to be the best of friends, I am glad she is back in my life. I think family is important and I do hope that we keep in touch.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Beth
I'm feeling very "ho hum" today. Not great, not bad...just a little bored. I know that once I can go back to Jazzercise (two more weeks) that will get me revved up again. I am just not a walker so right now, it is hard to get motivated to "work out".
So, I'm trying to do other things. Tonight I decided to have my first massage post-banding. I don't think it will be an issue since I have no problem lying on my stomach. I guess if it bothers me I will just ask them to let me do it on my back.
On a completely random note, I started using cocoa butter on my stretch marks. That stuff really works. I'm quite impressed!
Do you all have anything good you used on your scars? I'm in the market. My incisions still have some healing to do, so I have some time to shop around. :tongue_smilie:
Hi everyone! What a wonderful Wednesday.
I told you about the roller coaster that was yesterday. Whew! Glad that was over. Today was much more calm.
Today at lunch, I actually ran outside...where people can see me! I made it about 2.2 miles which is good. I hope I can make it the full 5k Labor Day weekend! I'm sure I can.
I was down 2 pounds this morning. That was AWESOME! I'm starting to be more "regular" so I think that is a big part of it. The Miralax/Activia combo seems to be working.
Tonight I had dinner with an old friend that I used to work with. It was quite delightful and I realize that I miss her. We are going to have to do it more often!
I'm resigned to the fact that I'm going to need a tonsillectomy. It sucks, but that is just part of life. I'm looking at having it in December so that is something to look forward to. :wub: Silver lining is that my parents are going to come take care of me. I'm so blessed!
Hope your Wednesday was wonderful too!
I love my LapBand support group! We had our monthly meeting last night. I have made good friends with two of the ladies in the group. I email back and forth with one (Ann) most days. We are accountability partners and share tons of information and experiences. The other (Debi) and I text each other to share SVs and NSVs. We also do things together, like tomorrow night we are going to see Dreamgirls. These two friendships alone make Group worthwhile, but it is even much more than that. Hearing the questions and experiences of so many other people is invaluable to me. My friends and family are SOOO supportive, but no matter what happens, they can't understand it completely because they haven't done it. Our group has a lot of newly banded people, a few waiting to be banded and a few old timers. It is amazing to hear their words of wisdom!
Group night also means updated photos for me. I put all of the new ones in my albums, but this angle was particularly great for me. I have attached the "before" picture and then last night's "current" picture. What a difference!!
What a productive weekend!! So far, Jax (my new Body Bugg) is having quite an effect on my life. I can tell that I'm making better choices, especially regarding activity to make sure I reach my target numbers. Color me surprised!
Friday I chose to go to Jazzercise which is something I don't usually do. Especially when I get up and go on Saturday morning, which I also did! YAY me! :closedeyes: After class on Saturday, I ran some errands. I had a quck lunch then got started working around home. I had gone through all of the clothes in my closet last week, so this weekend I decided to tackle my drawers. Dresser and chest of drawers...well, other kinds of drawers too, I guess.
I got rid of two bathing suits, a ton of pajamas and some work out pants. The happiest thing I found is that there are only 3 items left in my "too small" drawer...one pair of Old Navy jeans and two tank tops. I feel sure they will fit next month!
I kept myself busy most of the day and only sat down for a little while in the late afternoon. Then I got ready and went to my BFFs birthday party. It was at a pizza place and I'm entirely to tight to eat pizza. Luckily they has some delicious lasagna which I was able to eat. It was a LOVELY evening with friends. And I don't think I thought about being fat all night!
Sunday I went to church then continued my productivity around the house. I wanted to burn more calories!
This morning I got up and did yoga. I HATE mornings and honestly can't believe I did it. I'm a sucker for a challenge though. I'm a part of a Facebook group that has a bunch of friends from high school where we encourage each other to exercise. One of the guys (which honestly I feel sure I never spoke to in high school) has become quite inspiring to me. He battles weight too and works very hard. He threw down a challenge that if I got up to do yoga, he would do sit ups. Well...okay then. I did my 22 minutes of easy going yoga. It is mostly stretching, but I notice that when I do it, I have more energy throughout the day.
We are having a celebration today at work and there will be cupcakes. I may eat one, but I will also log it so Jax can tell me what I need to do to work it off. Tonight is Jazzercise and I'm up to 10 pound hand weights! The only move that gives me trouble is an over the head tricep dip. Everything else I can do well. I don't think I will ever go over 10 pounds though...it seems like a good weight.
Not to bury the lead, but I lost 8.4 pounds & 8.75 inches this month. Most excitingly, 2 inches off my hips! I would love to lose 10 more pounds before my trip to Louisville. If I listen to Jax, I just might!!
Just got my flu shot, so I'm ready for Fall! :confused:
Last night I had a few moments of thought about my journery. I'm in my "small" range. I'm within 10-15 pounds of my lowest weights as an adult. I wondered briefly if this could be it for me. I mean, I look pretty great! I've gotten into almost every "skinny" piece of clothing I have. What can I really expect?
And then I started looking at some pictures. My SIL was finally able to send me pics from my 5K. As I was looking at them, I realized that if I can do THAT...I can do MORE! It might take 3 years, but who cares? I'm loving my life right now and I'm going at a pace that I can continue for as long as I need. Sometimes, I guess I just need to remind myself. :thumbup:
Speaking of my 5K pictures, I have attached a few. As I mentioned before, my SIL was absolutely awesome! I'm truly not sure I could have done it without her.
Today I'm committing to running 2 miles at lunch and Jazzercising for an hour tonight.
Fun NSV: I was able to wear a dress today that I have had for YEARS, but it hasn't fit. It looks really nice and I've gotten several compliments!!
Have a wonderful day!!
I'm booking my surgery today and I'm looking for some advice. I am planning to schedule my surgery for Wed, Jan 27th or Thurs, Jan 28th. I just realized that my theater season tickets are for Jan 27th. So...should I go to the show on Wednesday night and have the surgery on Thursday? I guess that is really my only option. I started to think that maybe I could have the surgery on Wednesday and change my tickets to the Sunday show, but now I think that I would probably not be up to it. The show only runs Wed-Sun.
Anybody have thoughts?
Yesterday was a busy and emotionally draining day. Almost immediately after posting yesterday, my DC coworkers were here. I spent most of the day with them which while nice, didn't allow me to get the work done I had anticipated.
I mentioned that one of them is leaving the company and we did get to spend some quality time together yesterday. I was glad that I got to see him before he starts his new journey. I feel sure that it isn't the last time that our paths will cross.
We went to dinner and then took them to the airport around 8pm. I held it together pretty well. Ha! By the time I got home and got myself in front of the TV, it was almost 9pm! I watched every pitch of that Rangers game. I finally crawled into bed around 11:30pm which is late for me. Plus, I had a dentist appointment at 8am, which is really EARLY for me!! :thumbup: I made it though...had the appointment and was still at work on time at 8:30! CLAW!
Today is another day. I'm planning to run at lunch, so I hope that goes well. I have a boring continuing education class from 1-3pm and then the game starts at 3:00. YAY!!
After the game, I have a 2 hour massage appointment, so I won't be home until after 9pm again tonight. Crazy! No game tonight though so maybe I will get caught up on reading blog entries!!
Go Rangers!
Monday was my second fill. My first fill provided for some restriction, but more maintenance restriction. I could tell immediately that the 2nd fill was different. I drank my water after the fill and I had to do it very slowly and almost concentrate on it.
After my first fill, by my evening meal, I would be able to eat salads. And after 2 1/2 weeks, I could eat anything. I was doing a pretty good job of not gaining anything, but I wasn't losing.
With this fill, I spent Monday and Tuesday on liquids. Yesterday, I had a smoothie in the morning which after a cup of warm coffee. For lunch I had about 1/4-1/2 cup of baked potato. For dinner, I had fish. I went to Razzoo's and ordered something that I thought was grilled but it turned out to be fried. The breading didn't go down smoothe, but I was able to scrape most of it off and eat the fish inside. That was it for the day.
Today, I had my coffee and smoothie. For lunch I again had about 1/2 cup of baked potato. Potatoes aren't my favorite lunch since they aren't high in protein, but it just happened that way. I just had a snack of 1 Wheat Thin flatbread cracker with Laughing Cow cheese. Around 5:00, if I need it, I will have another cracker with peanut butter. Tonight I have a crab cake to try. Hopefully I will be able to eat it!
I feel like I'm taking small bites and going slowly, but I still feel like there is a knot in my chest (stuck) most of the time. I don't think I could handle it any worse, but I'm okay as is. Last time, I lost enough in a couple of weeks that it loosened up, so maybe that will happen again. One way or the other, I will learn to live and be successful with this band!
The exercise plan is still going strong. I have decided that as my reward for sticking to my 8 week Jumpstart plan, I will buy myself a Tiffany key. I have really wanted one for a while and quite honestly would have bought one for myself eventually. This way, I will feel like I earned it. :blushing:
Have a great day!!
It is nice to get back to normal after Thursday's record snowfall. We in the DFW area do not really know how to function with a foot of snow on the ground. I used to live in Indiana and I never let snow bother me. I have fully converted to Texan life it seems.
I have been logging my weight daily which turns out to be a very smart thing for me. I feel like I have not been losing anything...stuck on the same numbers for a while. I jump up and down by 1-3 pounds everyday, but it all evens out. It turns out that isn't true. First week preop diet - 7.3 lbs lost. Second week preop diet - 4.5 lbs lost. First week postop - 2.0 lbs lost. Second week postop - 5.4 lbs lost. Third week postop - 1.7 lbs lost. Woo hoo!
I realize that the "right" answer would be for me to stop weighing everyday. However, I 100% know that I cannot get myself to do that. And I can honestly say that up or down, it doesn't change what I do. I'm quite focused at this point. So, instead I'm logging my weight each day so I can see the weekly/monthly results and not focus so much on the daily fluctuations. I am much less frustrated now knowing that I lost 1.7 lbs this week!
Also, I am looking forward to going back to Jazzercise. I froze my account for a couple months so I didn't have to pay for time I couldn't go, but it unfreezes on 3/1 and I should have no trouble going back physically. March 1st is only two weeks from today! I will have to take it easy at first because I am WAY out of shape, but I know that it will jumpstart my weightloss and make me feel great!
One beautiful thing that has come from my transition over the last couple of years is that I am much more flexible and I can work through my stress in a more productive way. I have a contract employee that is supposed to work for me 3 days a week. She is wonderful person and capable of doing a fabulous job. However, she is pregnant and very sick...legitimately, ridiculously sick. My heart goes out to her and what is even worse is that with her first baby she was sick through the ENTIRE pregnancy. I just can't even imagine! But in the meantime, the work just isn't getting done and I'm starting to feel the walls closing in.
I took a minute to just stop and evaluate. First, I realized that I was stressing a lot about getting my exercise in. While I DO NOT want to give up on my exercise, I do need to be realistic. I have been working out more lately to offset the extra I eat because of my hunger. I decided that it makes sense to take a lunch hour and go get a fill. I'm not sure why I felt that I should put it off. I eat well over a cup of food at each meal and I'm still quite hungry between meals. Common sense says, time for a fill and that is what I'm going to do. I have to wait until 11/09 because that is first opening, but it is scheduled and that is one thing off the list of stressers.
Second, I am going to have to work some overtime. That's quite okay, but I have to figure out what I'm going to give up to do it. Today, I'm not willing to give up dinner with friends, so I gave up walking at lunch. I will make a concentrated effort to do SOMETHING when I get home. Maybe 100 crunches and 20 pushups? And I will be okay with that and not beat myself up.
I'm still Jazzercising tomorrow and running on Saturday. That is still over 3 hours of exercise for the week, so nothing to sneeze at.
I will also endeavor to make good choices at dinner tonight. I have done quite well with food this week, so far...especially since I have been so hungry.
So, to summarize, I have to find the balance between JUSTIFCATION and FLEXIBILITY. I have a feeling that it is going to be a long lesson.
Sidenote: several people have asked me about Jax. Jax is my Bodybugg. You can learn about it at bodybugg.com. They aren't for everyone, but I have found (as a person who thrives on data) it to be extrememly helpful. Two thoughts...first, the separate display screen isn't necessary to purchase. I haven't used mine since the second week I had it. Second, you will have to log everything you eat to be successful. I never did that before, but I do now. The numbers don't lie and it forces me to truly evaluate myself.
Peace out!! :-)
I'm not a patient person and I know that. I work at it and I have become better, but there is a long way to go.
I am one of BG's certified scale whores. I'm typically good about keeping things in perspective. For instance, Tuesday morning I was down two and a half pounds. I know that some of that probably isn't "real", so when I was back up a half a pound on Wednesday, I was fine with that. As long as my net weight is down each Monday, the in between doesn't matter so much.
I had thought after losing 12.5 pounds on my preop diet, then losing 6.8 pounds in the two weeks post op (total 19.3 pounds), that I would be a fast loser. I truly thought that I would be another 10 pounds down by the end of February and another 10 pounds down by the end of March.
Yeah, that didn't happen. I've lost 6 pounds in the 5.5 weeks since then. [interestingly, I originally wrote "only 6 pounds" and dropped the "only" after I decided that wasn't so bad. ] Six pounds in 5.5 weeks was disappointing to me this morning, but after some thought, it is not. Six pounds in 5.5 weeks is WAY better than I was doing before surgery...which was packing on the pounds. I promised myself that as long as I was doing what I was supposed to do and if the scale was moving in the right direction, I wouldn't be as concerned with the actual numbers. That is a bit easier said than done, but I'm glad I have a place to talk it through with myself!
As far as my 8 week Jumpstart plan goes, I did work out during lunch on Tuesday, but I skipped Jazzercise that evening. Yesterday was a day off, so we will see how I do today. The goal is 25 minutes on the elliptical at lunch and 40 minutes of the aerobic portion of Jazzercise. I can do it!
On a completely different topic, LB has giving me something else...new friends, in addition to all of you wonderful ladies and gents. I have been attending a local support group and at the last one, I met two ladies that I have since become friends with. One lady and I email several times a day talking about how our LB lives are going. It is GREAT to get another real time perspective and hear what she is going through. Plus, she has great recipes! :eek: The second lady and I have been texting and we ended up going to a concert together last night. They are both wonderful people and I would have never met them if I wasn't going through this process.
Life (particularly life with LB) is an interesting journey!
I have to say that the 8 week exercise program I committed to has been great. Althought, I hit a little snag last week. I had to cancel my Wednesday appointment with my trainer because I was feeling weak from my Tuesday fill. Then my trainer canceled our Friday appointment because of an issue on his side. Big bummer. The only organized exercise I got last week was 90 minues of walking. That doesn't come close to the 45 minutes per day I have been averaging. That's okay though. The way I see it, last week was a week that left me full of excuses and I still got in 3- 30 minute workouts. In the past, I would have done nothing AND I would have just stopped. Not this time!! Today I plan to Jazzzercise to start my week.
I had a couple of NSVs this weekend. First, a guy told me I was pretty. I'm not going to qualify that with anything. A guy told me I was pretty and I'm quite sure he meant it. Yay! Also, on the flight to our destination this weekend, I told my friend that the last time I was on a flight the seatbelt didn't fit. The belts on the plane we were on were kind of long so she was shocked, but I told her that not all seatbelts are the same. I had plenty of room. However, on the flight back, I quickly saw that this plane had short seatbelts like I had encountered before. This time it fit! There was a older gentleman across the aisle from me who was having touble. He and his wife couldn't figure out what was wrong with his seatbelt. I knew that they were short and probably just didn't fit. The flight attendant came by shortly with an extender. I heard him and his wife talking about how they couldn't believe it didn't fit and what they were going to do about it. I couldn't have been more sympathetic. It was nice to know that in the four months since my last plane ride, I had made a big (no pun intended) enough change to truly make a difference.
While I was writing this blog entry, something happened that makes me realize how much my life has changed. Today I was scheduled to meet a friend for lunch. She sent me an email and postponed. Shortly after, another friend that I work out with on Thursday's emailed me and told me that her boss had scheduled lunch with her during our next work out so she was planning to work out today. I brought work out clothes for Jazzercise after work, but usually if I work out at lunch & after work, I bring two sets of clothes (I sweat A LOT.) I decided that after last week, I need to make some extra effort. So, I'm going to work out at lunch AND Jazzercise today. I just have to find something to use for a towel. :biggrin: Don't get me wrong, I know this isn't anything earth shattering. But I'm just so proud of myself for being flexible instead of letting myself make excuses. That hasn't always been my M.O.
I have my eye on the prize. This weekend marks the end of the month and it would be SUPER if I could have a 10 pound loss this month. To do that, I need to lose 2 pounds this week. I will let you all know how it goes!!
I hope you all have a wonderful week!
I have such a love/hate relationship with fill week. I love it because it never fails to jump start my weight loss. Looking back at the last 5 months, most of my biggest weight loss weeks have come on fill weeks. To me it is so motivating to look at the scale on Monday and be several pounds down!
However, I also hate fill weeks. I do liquids the first couple of days and no matter how much I drink, I can never just quite quash my hunger. I'm not horrificly hungry, but just that nagging little hunger that never fully goes away. Plus, it is hard for me to get good exercise during that time. I just don't have quite the same amount of energy as usual. So, typically I don't do as much. Today I plan to work out on the elliptical for a half hour at lunch so that is something!
Bottom line, the negative part of fill week that I hate is temporary and fades after a few days. The positive part...the weight loss and the better restriction...is much more lasting. So, all in all, yay for fills!!
Hi everybody! Yesterday I was scheduled for my next fill. I think that makes my 5th. I hadn't been sure what I was going to do because I have had some sticking issues, but the last week I have been VERY hungry a lot of the time. Tuesday night I got some very good advice from a fellow bandster that if I was in doubt, I should wait. So I decided that I would cancel my appointment first thing in the morning.
Interestingly, I woke up at 2:00 AM and I was STARVING. Tummy growling, I could eat a horse type hungry! I had eaten a perfectly fine dinner, so I felt it was a sign. I decided to keep the appointment and see what my AWESOME (not to mention dreamy looking) doctor had to say.
I got to the office quite early. I spent the time reading Diet Girl...(I'm almost done!) When it was time, I found out I had lost 11 pounds since my last visit 6 weeks prior, so that was great! In the back waiting room, there was a lovely lady there who had gone to a different doctor the day before to be filled (someone closer to home) and she couldn't even hold down water. Yikes! She looked utterly miserable. That made me stop and think a little bit. I NEVER want to be like that. She said the other doctor described himself as "aggressive". Hmmm...interesting. Anyway, she went first and looked SO relieved when she was done.
When it was my turn, I told my doc my feelings. He took a look under the fluoro and said that he thought I looked really close. He only added one tenth of one cc. He said that some people are very sensitive to it and just a couple drops can make a difference. He cautioned me to come back right away if I can't hold things down. I'm glad he such a great doctor! He actually seems to care. I have heard so many horror stories of surgeons and fill docs not listening to their patients, so I'm quite thankful.
I don't typically go back to work after my fills because I'm a big baby and I get REALLY grumpy when I'm hungry. Fill or no fill, a liquid diet does not make me not hungry...EVER. So, I went shopping. I need some jeans so I started a Lane Bryant. I was in a size 1 Blue Right Fit. They don't do those sizes anymore, so I took a plethora of 14s & 16s to the fitting room. One pair of 14s fit (badly) and ALL the rest were too SMALL. What up, kitty cat? That's not right. Anyway, I went back out and started over. After trying on about 20 pairs of jeans, I ended up with two pairs of size 16 straight leg. They are going to be too big in about a month, but I could barely get the 14s on, much less wear them in public. I wear jeans to work almost every day, so I decided that I needed them to fit now. I will worry about it in a month or two when they are too big. I also bought a $15 pair of black trousers that fit perfectly. SCORE! I picked up some undies while I was there. I love their old thongs...the new ones aren't very good quality, but I got them anyway. I won't fit in them for long anyway!
Then I went to Old Navy. To the fitting room I took size 18 & 20 jeans, khakis, & cargo pants. I figured that would be enough to cover the difference between "Womens" and "Misses" sizes. I also took in a XXL dress and an XL & XXL shirt. The shirts fit weirdly, but everything else was too big. WHAT?? Yeah, but sigh. I went back out and started over. I brought size 16s of everything and an XL dress. The dress looked adorable, but all of the 16s were too tight or ill-fitting. Ugh. Whatever.
It was still quite early when I got home and I didn't want to sit in front of the TV where I would think about food, but I also didn't really have enough energy to exercise, so I decided to clean out my closet. I tried on every single item in my closet that I have not worn in the last two weeks.
Holy moly! I filled up 3 stretchy garbage bags of clothes. My old jeans alone were over a half of one garbage bag!! I had a group of "a little too small, try again soon" clothes from last time. EVERYTHING in that group either fit or was too big. YAY!! I had a pile of "good luck someday cause these suckers are TIGHT" clothes and everything in that group fit or moved into the "try again soon" section. What a trip! It put the whole shopping debacle in perspective.
This morning I officially hit the 60 lb mark. WOOHOO! In 2006, I weighed about 20 pounds less than I do now, so all the clothes I have on hand (except for my prom dress) are reachable very soon. Come winter, I will have almost nothing but my jeans to wear. Although, Dallas is a good place for layers, so a lot of summer stuff can go well into Fall and be layered for Winter. I told my mom I would fly her down in late Sept/early Oct so she can shop with me. She won't let me get frustrated or stop before I've finished my mission. Ha!
Hope you all are having a great week!
Hi everyone!! I am a day out from my 3rd fill. My doc says that he thinks I'm very close if not at my sweet spot. He told me to make an appointment for next month, but to not feel bad if I have to cancel. That would be awesome! I had lost 11 lbs since my last fill, so I was quite pleased with that.
I'm not a fan of being on mushies for 2 days after a fill, but (a.) I'm tight anyway and (b.) I tend to lose about 4 pounds in two days if I am on liquids. I guess if I don't have to go in going forward, but I hit a plateau, a 2 day liquid diet would be a good trick for me. I will just file that in my back pocket.
I actually had a scale victory this week. I have lost over 35 pounds and am now under 250. Most of my life, when I reached 250, that was the point where I always got serious. I got to that point several times in my life, but I always managed to kick it into gear and lose. However, over the last 3-4 years, that high point number turned into 260. Then in 2010, I gained 25 pounds to get to 285. Wow. Oh well, what's done is done. It's funny now how I feel pretty good about being around 250 having experienced 285.
My next big goal is to go from Morbidly Obese to Obese Class 2. Only 8.2 more pounds. That seems like a "funny" goal, but it is one I will be quite proud of.
Take care all!!
