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LoseIt!'s Blog

A blog by LoseIt!

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My daily thoughts.

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Page 4 of 7

Mini goal reached!

Y'all know I'm all about setting goals, making/implementing plans and rewarding myself. It is a cycle I can truly live by! :-) I have 5 pound mini goals. Today I'm officially 75 pounds down!! YAY!!!! I'm very happy to reach this mini-goal as I feel like I have been working at it for longer than usual. So, I went to the numbers. Hold onto your hats! It took me 30 days to lose this 5 pounds. (Regardless of anything, that is FANTASTIC and far better than I ever did pre-band...especially 8 months into a weight loss program. In fact, I don't think I ever stuck with anything for 8 months anyway.) 30 days is a little longer than usual, but I'm starting to notice a pattern. 35-26 days 40-13 days 45-27 days 50-12 days 55-30 days 60-16 days 65-28 days 70-21 days 75-30 days It seems like it takes me longer 26-30 days to lose 5 pounds, but then a shorter time 12-21 days to lose the next 5 pounds. I lose 5 pounds on an average of every 23 days. I love numbers! All in all, this doesn't really mean anything. Except it does tell me that I'm still doing VERY well, even if some days it feels like I'm chipping at an iceberg. :thumbup: I have been trying to focus on things other than the scale and weight, but sometimes it is nice to see the progress made there too. 276 days ago, I weighed 75 pounds more than I do today. I have lost over a quarter of my body weight. Sometimes it takes me writing statements like that to put it all into perspective. Another super goal reached today is that I am no longer Class II or super obese. I am just plain old obese!! YAY!! Haha! Just 30 pounds to go until I'm overweight. :-) This weekend, while at home for the first time in a few weeks, is going to be busy. I'm going to try and relax tonight, but tomorrow I have Jazzercise then a haircut and errands to run. Sunday I have church and theater tickets. Somewhere in there I have to do all the laundry that is piling up!! Then next weekend it is yet another out of town trip. What was I thinking?? Oh well, being this busy is MUCH easier 75 pounds down. Have a WONDERFUL weekend everyone!!

October 15, 2010

3

Monthly Update

Another month gone by! In some ways, it is hard to believe that it has been over 7 months since my surgery. In other ways, it just seems like it could've been a few weeks ago! I was only slightly dissappointed when I realized that my loss for the month was 4.8 pounds. I mean pre-surgery, that would have been a really big deal! It is 60% of my monthly average. So the irritating portion of my brain says that isn't enough, but the other portion (the one that I CHOOSE to listen to) says that I should be proud of myself. I hit a plateau this month and instead of quitting in discouragement, I hit it head on. I learned a lot about myself and my body and I got myself back on track. THAT is the difference between me NOW and me BEFORE. I like it!! That little lady is on the move! :tt2: Today, I took my monthly measurements which I take in 13 places (neck, upper arms, wrists, bust, waist, belly, hips, thighs, calves). I am absolutely thrilled that I lost 11.25" this month. I have been tracking weight loss/measurements for eight months to include my preop diet. In those eight months, this is the 3rd most inches lost, but the LOWEST pounds lost. That just goes to show how important it is to measure!! It sent me from "not being disappointed" to being "absolutely thrilled." :thumbup: YAY! I have to go sit through some boring CPE webinar. Boo! Talk to you all later!!

September 1, 2010

4

Week #2 - Jumpstart

Week #1 was tough, but I feel it was a success. First, I feel better which is most important. Second, I lost 1.6 pounds this week which is the first time in 3 weeks that the scale went DOWN!! Step #1 - Logging food. I logged everything I ate, every day except for Saturday. I met my 1500 calorie goal for 4 days, only slightly exceeded it for 1 day. Sunday I did get closer to 2000 calories because I had a rum drink that pushed the limit, but as long as I don't do that every day, I should be okay. On Friday, I took one of the metabolism tests where you breathe into a machine for 10 minutes and it tells you how many calories you burn in a day. I burn over 2000 without exercise, so that is good. I just can't let myself use that as an excuse to cheat!! Step #2 - Stay in for lunch two days a week and exercise. I stayed in on Tuesday & Wednesday and used the elliptical machine. This week, I have scheduled Tuesday & Thursday. This step is very cut & dried, but probably the toughest one for me. I was proud of myself for doing it and I am 1/8 done. :thumbup: Step #3 - Get a personal trainer & meet twice per week. I met with my new trainer twice last week, Wednesday and Friday. Unfortunately, Wednesday was more of an introduction, so we didn't work out much that time. Still, I'm on track! So, I went to Jazzercise Tuesday & Saturday, I trained with my trainer on Saturday, and I used the elliptical on Tuesday and Wednesday. Total exercise for the week: 4 hours. Good, for sure, but this week my goal is 6 hours. My 2nd fill is schedule for Monday and I'm starting to get hungrier, so if I could lose a couple of pounds this week...that would be super!! A friend of mine from LBSG (LAP-BAND® Support Group) gave me a recipe for enchilada chili that is super awesome! I made it last night and my (skinny) friend and I both gobbled it up. Enchilada Chili 1 lb lean ground beef (however, I use Turkey ground white, and when I fry it up I put in about a cup of Beef Broth. The meat will absorb the broth) 1 medium chopped onion ( I also put in a 1/2 of a green or red pepper) 1 can rotel diced tomatoes (mild or hot) undrained 1 can enchilada sauce (red) 1 1/2 cups of green gaint corn ( I use the Mexicali corn) 1 can chili beans in sauce undrained ( I use Bushs chili beans, I also add a can of black beans) cook beef or turkey with the onions over med heat for 5 to 7 mins till brown. Stir in tomatoes, enchilada sauce and corn into the beef or turkey boil, reduce heat and simmer for 10 mins. Then stir in beans and cook for 5 to 8 mins. stirring occasionaly. When I serve I put some low fat cheese on the top and add some salsa. This makes about 4 servings 1 1/2 cups. Since I measure out a cup I get more. Nutrition per serving Calories 380, total fat 15g, sodium 1440mg. Total carbs 38g, Fiber is 8g and Protein 29g. Here's to a great week!!

March 15, 2010

2

Thank God it is Fill Day.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that I was banded on 1/27, had a good start but stalled after a month. I had my first fill on 2/19, started working out that week as well and gained weight each of the next two weeks. So, two weeks ago, I started what I was calling an 8 week Jumpstart. Basically it was a committment on my part to focus on nutrition and to spend more time working out. I have completed two weeks of my little program and after losing 1.6 pounds last week, I haved gained 1.2 pounds this week. Sigh. Recap of the week: Monday - Did 40 minutes of cardio at Jazzercise and 50 minutes with my personal trainer. I ate just under 1,500 calories for the day, including 100g protein. Tuesday - Did 25 minutes on the elliptical. I ate 1,600 calories, including 119g protein. Wedneday - No work out. I ate 1,500 calories. Thursday - Did 25 minutes on the elliptical at lunch and 40 minutes of cardio at Jazzercise after work. I did have 1,900 calories this day. Friday - Did 50 minutes with the personal trainer and ate 1,800 calories. Saturday - Did 60 minutes of cardio and strength training at Jazzercise. Did not track food this day. Sunday - No exercise and no food tracking. I went back today and tracked the best I could (because I did think I ate a lot and even adding an extra 400 calories for things I might have forgot, I was still under 2,000 calories!) I took a metabolism test that said that if I was totally inactive, I would maintain my weight by eating 2,000-2,200 calories a day. I would lose moderately eating 1,800-2,000 per day. I felt that my goal of 1,500-1,800 would be sufficient. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't completely on target with that, but by all accounts, I should have lost SOMETHING! I'm telling myself that a lot of it is muscle and I have no doubt that some of it is. But it is clear that I'm going to have to eat less which gets me to today. I feel that I have been doing the best I can foodwise, so I'm hoping today will help. I would like to get to a point where I only need 1,000-1,200 calories a day. Although, it is hard for me to imagine woking out with that little...but that's what the doctor's say, right? I will be sure and ask today Each week is a new one and a renewed comittment. It took me many years to get this way and it will take a long time to get where I want to be. I do not like being negative, so I won't be. I feel strongly that eventually everything I'm doing will kick in and help me, I just have to be patient. Hope everyone has a good week!

March 22, 2010

4

Starting out...

October 30, 2009: I have been researching LB for a few months now. I have had the initial consultation and learned that my insurance will not cover. I am still moving forward and have my initial meeting with my doctor on 11/17. Since I am paying for the procedure myself, I will need to wait until 2010 to take advantage of my company's flex med program. That will at least help with some of the cost. I am keeping my mind open in case something comes along that makes me realize that this is not for me. However, I believe that I have done enough research to know most of the costs and benefits. I am 35 and single so the decision is my own. My parents know I'm thinking of it and support me completely. My friends, although skeptical, realize they have no idea what I'm going through and will stand by my decision. I have noticed that people who are active in a lap band community seem to be successful overall, so I have determined that I should try. I'm not a writer by nature, but I think logging my experience (if only for myself) can only help. I have a long way to go, so the next few months will only be prep. My motto for now: Prayers and preparation! :crying:

October 31, 2009

5

Day #8 - Liquid Diet

I hit a wall this morning! I thought I was going to barf if I had to eat another smoothie. But then I ate a smoothie and didn't barf, so now I feel like a champion. Ha! I feel like I broke through the wall and I'm on track again. I do feel more hungry today, so I'm not quite sure what's up with that. I KNOW I will work it out though. I had my non-official "official" one week weigh in this morning and I am down 8.7 lbs. So yay! My goal for the two week liquid diet is 12 lbs, so I only need to lose (less than) half that this week to meet it. I haven't cheated AT ALL. I'm pretty sure that I have never done that before...ever. I went to an event last night that had a buffet dinner. On my way, I drank 2/3 of a protein shake and had the rest a couple hours later on the way home. That's HUGE for me, people! I have my monthly dinner with my girlfriends tonight. There are 6 of us and all but one know about my upcoming procedure. My friend in charge of picking the place this month chose a place with broth based soup so I can eat there. I love my friends. Three of them have slight problems with weight, but not like me at all. One is very active and a really good size. The other is a runner and very petite. We are all different, but we are quite tight. I WILL be good today. I'm not thinking about anything but today. I know I can do it. Have a great day everybody!

January 20, 2010

4

Six Month Update

Yesterday, late in the day, I realized that it was the 6 month "anniversary" of the start of my LAP-BAND®® journey. My pre-op diet started on that day with me weighing in at 285 pounds. Prior to 2009, I had never weighed more than 255-260, so I was in a horrible place for me. Six months is not a long time at all, but looking back, it feels so much longer ago! Last night, I went back and read my old blog entries from the beginning. I laughed because sometimes I can be so darn silly. I cried because I remembered how isolated and unhappy I was. My favorite blog entry to read was the one I posted on 12.10.09 titled "Ailment Buster!" I had made the decision to have the surgery, but was still wondering if it was the "right" thing to do. I listed out all my issues and how losing weight (which I felt I couldn't do without surgery) would help those issues. Here I am, 6 months later and 58 pounds lighter with an update. Sleep - I had gotten so big that my CPAP was no longer working effectively. My friend & I went on vacation together and she said that it slipped off and made noises all night. I was tired all the time and it was clear there was a problem. Now, my CPAP is working! I'm less tired and I have more energy. I just went on a weekend trip with my friend and she said that she didn't hear a peep all night! Acid Reflux - I was on 2 Nexium per day pre-surgery. TWO! I haven't taken any since my surgery and I have had no issues. I never imagined that it would have that much of an effect from day one. Blood pressure & cholesterol - My blood pressure has been in the LOW normal range since the surgery. No issues!! I haven't had my cholesterol checked yet, but I'm sure that it will be good too! Skin - I am proud to say that I can now reach every area of my body in order to clean it well. Ha! Yay! I have had hardly any breakouts since the surgery which comes from eating better, I'm sure. Also, I don't have as much of an issue with flab rolls causing rashes. Now I'm just trying to work on my stretch marks! Feet - Through most of 2009 and the start of 2010, my feet ached constantly. I had to wear tennis shoes or crocs all the time. I still have issues with plantars fasciitis, but my feet don't ache all the time. I can wear cute shoes to work! Also, I've started jogging and as long as I don't over do it, my feet are able to handle it! Knees - I have noticed hardly ANY issues with my knees. Maybe a little when jogging or Jazzercising hard, but nothing much. And I think even that will fade with more weightloss. Energy - while I don't always have optimal energy, I sure do beat the pants off where I was. I go, go, go all the time! Anxiety - I have had almost no anxiety issues since the surgery. I believe that most of my anxiety stemmed from being uncomfortable with myself and insecure. The better I look and the better I feel, the less I worry about EVERYTHING. Comfort - The difference is astounding. Last weekend I went on vacation and I spent very little time checking on whether I was the fattest girl around. It still happened sometimes, but it used to consume me. I think I am back to a "normal" comfort level for me. I am eager to see just how comfortable I can get!! WOW! Six months. Almost no time in the grand scheme of things. Many times I have expressed my frustration or impatience to you all and then used your strength to psych myself back up. Now here I am, back to "normal". Such a relief. I am so happy! By Fall, I expect to be at my lowest weight as an adult. Then I will be headed into uncharted territory. It is so exciting! It feels SO far away, but 6 months have passed so quickly that I know it will be here before I know it. I have worked hard, but I haven't worked so hard that I can't maintain this pace. This life is doable. I'm doing it and I'm going to keep doing it!! I ended that blog with a quote, "The more you love yourself, the easier you are to love by those who love you." As I have become more comfortable with myself, the less focus I put on what others do. It is absolutely freeing! I do LOVE myself and I'm loving me more and more each day. I can tell that it has an effect on my friendships and other relationships. The good ones are getting stronger and the not-so-good ones are showing themselves and fading away. Halfway there everyone! Can't wait to check the status of everything next January!!

July 14, 2010

6

Mom & Dad are coming!

Mom & Dad are coming today! I'm looking forward to spending time with them. We haven't seen each other since Memorial Day. I have changed a bit since then. :thumbup: Tomorrow we are going shopping for recliners. I would like a pair of durable, relatively inexpensive, leather wall huggers. If anyone has a suggestion on where to try, let me know! Saturday, Mom & I are going clothes shopping to get me some winter clothes that fit!! And some bras. I really need bras that fit. Last night my friend Liz & I went to see Blue Man Group. Super fun!! Although I wasn't really able to eat dinner. For my main course, I had creme brulee. Don't judge! :cool2: The last couple of fills I have had, I was so tight the first week that I would debate about going in for a slight unfill. But inevitably, day 7 or 8 would come and all would be fine. It is day 2 and I'm trying to remind myself that it is like this every time. It is how my body works. I can get down water and other liquids just fine. I just can't do foods. I figure some doctors require several days of liquid diets post fill, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Plus it really gives me a good weight loss jump start! I've lost 3 pounds in the last two days. Woot woot!! It's only day 2 and I'm so impatient. Sigh. I guess some things never change. I'm about to have my smoothie for breakfast. I got it with peanut butter today to make sure I have all my protein. I'm not the slightest bit hungry! After a week of feeling hungry all the time, it is a relief. However, I couldn't live like this all the time. Plus, my allergies are making it worse. Stupid ragweed!! I love Fall, but that's the one killer thing. I'm not sure if I will so much posting with the parents in town...it's hard to say. So, have a great weekend!!

September 16, 2010

3

Day #14 - Liquid Diet

This is it. This is the last day! So close!! YAY! In my mind the process is broken down into steps: Waiting period - done.
Pre op diet - almost done!
Surgery
Healing
Weightloss
10% of weight lost (28.5 lbs)
50 pounds lost
75 pounds lost
Hit 200 (85 pounds lost)
100 pounds lost
Nutritionist goal (120 pounds lost)
Surgeon goal (135 pounds lost)
Adjusted goal TBD
[*]Maintenance I have no idea how long this all will take, but I do better when I have smaller obtainable goals. Getting through surgery is a biggie for me and that itself will be be done (probably) by this time tomorrow. Whoa. Ahem...anyway... The only thing on my mind is to get through the surgery safely then start on healing. I consider the healing process to be from tomorrow afternoon through my first fill which is scheduled for 2/19. I will give you all an update as soon as I can!

January 26, 2010

6

This time...

This morning has been an interesting one for me. I have talked on my blog about how emotional I am and how I have been working on keeping things in perspective. I think in day to day activity, I'm doing a good job, but I still have a way to go. Let me give you some history: I have been overweight all my life. I remember thinking I was fat as early as first and second grade. My nickmame in fourth grade was Buffalo Butt. Nice, huh? My first weightloss memory (real or manufactured...) was going to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom in fourth grade and weighing 144 lbs. I feel like I've been on a diet ever since. I love my mom. In fact, there is no one on earth I love more than I love my mom. My mom was always "normal" sized, but was almost consistently on a diet while I was growing up. My mom grew up in a household where her father expected perfection from her. She & Dad truly strived not to be that way with my brother and me. They just wanted what was best for us. They wanted me to be healthy and happy, so they helped me try and lose weight. They took me to Weight Watchers which helped when I was actually doing it. They took me to Nutri System in high school and after a week or two I was sneaking food on the side. They found out and were really mad at me. In retrospect, I understand that they spent a lot of money (that we didn't really have) to do this for me. At the time, I felt I let them down because I stayed fat. I was a food hoarder. I would eat normally in front of people then binge when I was by myself. I remember when I was young (maybe third grade?) I dipped a big tablespoon of peanut butter in sugar and started eating it. I knew it wasn't good for me, but it was tasty! I was in the living room and I heard my parents coming so I hid it under a piece of furniture. They found it and yelled at me. I feel quite sure that they were yelling at me because it is disgusting and gross to leave food around and it would attract mice and pests (which we had issues with anyway in our pre-1900 house.) I just heard them yelling at me becaue I was a disgusting fat pig. Every time my mom tells me I look thin or that I have lost weight, I soar! When my mom mentions that I look like I have gained weight (or she asks if I have gained weight), I get physically sick to my stomach. It has always been that way, but I'm just now starting to tell her when that happens. She thinks I'm being silly, and objectively, I probably am. I talk to my mom every morning during my commute. Every morning, I cheerfully tell her how much weight I have lost. I'm typically up a little on Mondays, but not much. Yesterday, I knew I was going to eat popcorn and I told my mom. She gets a little hitch in her voice when she says "okay" that makes me feel guilty. I was up today and I kid you not when I tell you I was in the shower this morning rehearsing what I was going to tell my mom. Sigh. I'm 36 and sometimes I'm 12. According to rehearsals, I was supposed to cheerily say that I was up a pound that I felt confident would be gone tomorrow. Instead, I told her that I don't share gains with her, only losses. She started laughing and said that I must have gained a lot because I tell her when it is a pound. (I want to step in a second and say that I truly do not believe that she was laughing AT me or trying to be insenstive. My mom loves me ridiculously so and would never intentionally hurt me under any circumstance.) My face and body started to get hot and I could feel myself tense up. I told her that it hurt me that she was laughing at my weight gain. She tried to explain that she laughs at herself all the time. I was so wrapped up in my anger that I almost hung up with her. Crazy! But I was able to change the subject and we moved on. When I got to work, my friend Liz approached me and said that she messed up. I had set up a birthday party for my friend Cori and had invited Liz, but not another work friend. Liz had mentioned the party to our other friend and other friend was hurt. To be truthful, it really wasn't something that was done intentionally. Neither Liz nor other friend has ever been invited to Cori's birthday party, but right at the time I was doing the invitation, I think Liz was on her mind so she said to invite her. It certainly wasn't an act of meaning to NOT invite other friend. In my mind, other friend is in a bad place right now and she is interpreting everyone's actions as something AGAINST her when in reality, that's not the case. I was actually that way last year, before I got my life on track. I realized that NOTHING anybody else said or did truly made a difference to me inside. If I loved myself, everything else would work itself out. That brings me back to my mom. I am so unbelievably fortunate to have my mom. I can't even list off all of the wonderful things she has done and continues to do for me. Nothing she does or says is meant to hurt me. If fact, I have no doubt that my mom would lay down her life for me. I have 35 years of demons to work through. I feel like I have gotten through a lot in 6 months, but it is still going to take some time to get through the rest. Occassionally, my feelings are going to get hurt through no fault of anyone's. But as long as I realize that I control the situation and it is I who decides my emotions, I will be able to move forward. I have have nightmares on occassion of a 5th grade me on a bus where kids are chanting BUFFALO BUTT! I have dreams all the time where people make comments that I'm fat. It is my achilles heel. But I'm doing something about it! At 60 pounds lost, which I should hit sometime this week, I will be halfway to my goal. Take that Amber Melvin from 4th grade! Take that mean, mean Debbie on the school bus! But most of all, TAKE THAT BETH! I am my own worst enemy, but this time is different. This time there is no self sabotage. This time there is no letting myself get caught up in the enormity (pardon the pun) of it all. This time, I'm not just losing weight...this time, I'm changing my life. Mom, I thank God for you and dad everyday. I love you.

July 19, 2010

4

Info or Advice?

Hi everyone! It is amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you are willing to accept it. One thing I have noticed during this "journey" is that people have no hesitation in giving out advice and indicating that they know better than I do. I have had that with diet, exercise, you name it. But then I started to realize that I do it too! And I started to wonder how I am making people feel when I do that. I'm trying to make a consicous effort to only give advice when it has been requested (except of course when it comes to my parents...they get it automatically. :tt2:) It is a fine line between giving (or getting) information and giving (or getting) unsolicited advice. In my opinion, I LOVE information and want as much of it as I can get. But I can do without advice and the judgement that sometimes comes with it. For instance, with my decision to start walking down the stairs at work...I appreciated getting the information that walking DOWN stairs can be hard on your knees and isn't typically a recommended form of exercise. With that information, I can pay close attention to my knees and any pain that might creep up. However, I didn't appreciate the advice that I should be walking UP the stairs and how I should go about doing that and then the judgement that followed when I decided to stick with my plan for the time being. [Deep breath.] I just get frustrated, you know? Anyway, I hope it goes without saying that my blog is an unofficial solicitation for feedback, so advice out here NEVER goes unappreciated!! :smile: Maybe I'm being hypocritical, but I think it is different. Speaking of Project Stairs, I have finished Day 4. My calves are still burning, but at least I was able to get out of bed this morning without feeling like I was going to collapse! They hurt, but now feel more like I had a crazy hard work out...not that someone beat my legs with a bat. Ha! One more day then they will get a two day break. My friend bailed on water aerobics with me last night. She is a working mom of three, so I can hardly get upset with her! I went to Jazzercise instead. I will go again tonight. I love it, so it is always good! Have a great day!

August 5, 2010

5

More progress pictures.

It is unbelievable how busy I am at work this week, so this blog entry will have to be quick. :-) I hope to get caught up on all my blog reading tonight!! I'm meeting my sorority little sis for dinner tonight. It will be the first time we have seen each other in almost 15 years!! We reconnected through Facebook and figured out that we both live in the DFW area. That was over a year ago!! But we are finally getting together and I'm so excited. I can tell through her FB posts that she has lost a lot of weight this year and she has really been working at it. She's been an inspiration to me! Her pictures now look like the same Shannon I knew in college. :-) As promised I'm attaching my spandex progress pics. The changes are definitely more subtle, but I can tell that the once "sausage casing-like" shirt is now getting baggy. Yay! Plus, I'm starting to have a break between my chest and belly, so that's nice. Have a great day everyone! Hope to catch up more tomorrow.

October 13, 2010

5

Day #6 - Liquid Diet

So, it hasn't been quite as bad as I expected. Knowing that I only have 9 more days...there is a definitive end...makes all the difference. I obviously couldn't keep this up indefinitely. If I could, I wouldn't be in this situation! My liquid diet consists of protein shakes twice a day and a bowl of soup once a day. I can fill in with sugar-free jello, pudding and popsicles. I have to say that I'm quite tired of jello, pudding and popsicles. :thumbup: I'm still not very good at making my own protein shakes, so I tend to drink ready made or Smoothie King. I love Smoothie King's Chocolate Gladiator with berries, but I can't seem to replicate it yet. I have lost 7.3 lbs. and I'm excited by that. I had gained around 15 lbs. over the holidays, so it would be nice to get at least most of that off before surgery. I have no doubt that the loss will slow way down now, but I still have 9 days. I plan to update my ticker once a week, so official weigh in will be Wed. morning. I am so proud of myself for not cheating. Not even a little!! I have diet coke in my fridge and I don't even really miss it. What I do miss is Chipotle. Mmmm...Chipotle. I actually blame Chipotle for 30 of the 40 pounds I have gained this year. I love the stuff and I could never content myself with just a little bit. I'm hoping the band with help with that, but I know it might be something I have to stay away from for good. Only time will tell. Things I still have to do before surgery: get my blood test, get my allergy shot, pick up meds at pharmacy, and grocery shop for the necessary post op diet. But I have a lot to keep me busy this week, like a NASCAR dinner at Texas Motor Speedway (that's right...I said it), "dinner" with friends, a couple of movies and some training at church. Plus, a couple of friends are going to get pedicures with me on the Monday before surgery to help keep my mind off it. Then mom comes in Tuesday night and Wednesday is surgery. It is going to be over and done with before I know it!

January 18, 2010

3

Like Guns & Roses...I need a little Patience!

I'm a self pay patient and I'm scheduled for 1/27. I love the doctor and the package of care that is included, so I was fine with the price. Expensive, but it is what I wanted. I saw a commercial today and the advertised price for EXACTLY what I have scheduled had dropped $3k. Holy cow. I made a call to the office and left a message with my contact to see if I can get the newly advertised price. Hopefully, they will just say yes and that will be the happy end of it. But of course, I'm nervous that they won't. Nothing I can do until they call me back. For you GNR fans... I sit here on the stairs 'Cause I'd rather be alone If I can't have you right now I'll wait, dear Sometimes I get so tense But I can't speed up the time But you know, love There's one more thing to consider

January 7, 2010

7

That's the ticket.

So, I got a speeding ticket this morning. Isn't that super awesome!! :thumbup: Honestly though, I was going 76 mph in a 60 mph zone, so I totally deserved it. The only thing that makes me mad about the whole thing is that that motorcycle cop is there EVERY morning and I KNOW BETTER! Oh well, it is what it is. I'm feeling much better today! The respiratory infection has faded for the most part. Jazzercise was tough last night, but I definitely felt better when it was over. It is nice to be in enough shape that I don't feel like I'm killing myself the first day back after a break! Today I'm taking it up a notch and I'm doing my 2 mile hill run at lunch and Jazzercise tonight. I only have a non-running lunch work out tomorrow (maybe the bike?) so I should be able to push it out today. I was hungry yesterday. After breakfast, it didn't take too long until I was hungry for lunch. We went to Mi Cocina to meet my parents and I was worried that I would need to eat too much. But my mom & I shared a nacho plate and I ate three nachos with sour cream and guacamole. So, not too bad. In fact, it held me until very late in the afternoon and I didn't get hungry until about 4pm when I had some greek yogurt. I was a little hungry when I went to Jazzercise, but it wasn't horrible. When I got home, I fixed goodies for dinner. (My niece's favorite meal is what she calls goodies, which is bascially a collection of snacks, like apples, pretzels, peanut butter and cheese.) I had just less than a 1/2 c of potato salad, a boiled egg, 10 crackers and 5 pieces of cheese (roughly 3 oz, I think.) I finished the potato salad and egg, but I left 2 crackers and a piece of cheese. I didn't seem to have any "restriction" in the sense that there was no issues with anything going down, however, I did have "restriction" in the sense that I was full after eating a reasonable amount of food. So, I did well yesterday. The trick is stopping when I'm full. I've not been good at that historically and is something I need to work on. So, goals for the week...drink water! And stop eating when I'm full. PS: My new item of the day that I'm wearing...electric blue flats with a row of sequence around the top. Very flirty, but practical too. Have a great day!!

September 21, 2010

2

20 lbs & 2 NSVs!

It has been 10 days since my surgery and I'm really starting to get back in the swing of things. If you read my earlier blog, you know that I was having esophageal spasms that hurt tremendously. Well, as the swelling has gone down, the spasms have almost fully gone away. Yay! I hope that means that I won't have problems with fills, but I will definitely keep track of it. As of today, I am down 21.1 lbs. I include my pre-op diet pounds in my total because it is all part of the process. I am a little worried that I will gain some now that I am eating solid food, but alas, that is part of the process as well. I had TWO non-scale victories today. I am a HUGE Colts fan and my best friend is a HUGE Saints fan. She mentioned a couple weeks ago that she was planning to wear her cute little women's cut Saints jersey to work today. Well, my XXL men's Colts jersey hasn't fit for months. I tried it on last night and it doesn't look half bad! YAY! So, I can represent! That is NSV #1. NSV #2 - I haven't worn my rings in several months. I kept telling myself it was because I was "swollen". Heh. Anyway, they are a little snug, but I'm wearing my rings (that I wore everyday for about 10 years) again today. It is only the beginning and good things are just flying at me!! Hope you all are having a bandtastic week!

February 5, 2010

5

How did I get there?

Thanks for all the feedback yesterday! Two weeks from Saturday, I will have the cut. So, stay tuned, I'm sure there will be pics by October 18th!! I watched the Biggest Loser last night. I know that it is the most realistic approach to weight loss seeing that we wouldn't have time to work out 8-10 hours a day. But I just love seeing what people can do. The first thing that struck me is that I'm not sure if I could do a Biggest Loser work out! I work out a lot, but what they were doing was amazing. I was so proud of myself for jogging on a 5.0 incline yesterday for 30 seconds. She was having them at a 7.0 incline for longer!! I realize they are puking and I don't push myself to that point, but it is still amazing what you can do if someone is pushing you and you are receptive. Second thing that struck me was when one of the guys had a bit of a breakdown and he questioned how he had gotten there. That really struck home for me. I grew up "the fat girl." Looking at the pictures from my past, I wasn't that big. Even my dad said to me that when he looks back at old pictures he doesn't remember me being that small. I think part of it was that I weigh heavy. I was roughly the same size as some of my friends, but I weighed a good 20-30 pounds more than they did. That remains true today. My mom & I are wearing the same size clothes (for the most part), but she weighs over 40 pounds less than I do. So I think that we had a mindset from the beginning that I was FAT, when maybe I wasn't really. Then I think we (I) became so focused on it. I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in 4th grade. At the time, I just wanted to be smaller, but in retrospect, there were probably better ways to focus my attention. I was on NutriSystem in high school and I consistently snuck food. My parents found out and (rightly so) got angry for wasting money. I just felt like a big, fat failure. I remember going to fast food restaurants with my family and my brother ordered french fries, but I couldn't. Now I wonder if I really wasn't allowed to, or if I just felt too guilty (fat) to order them. I honestly do not know. When I got to college, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. However, my Freshman year I didn't have a car and I walked all over the place, including to my job which was several blocks away from campus. My sophomore year I had a car, but by December I had moved into the Sorority quad which in my case meant a 4th floor walk up! I think walking those 3 flights of stairs multiple times a day kept me in check through the end of my junior year. My senior year I moved off campus. I was only a block away from where I was before, but it was on the first floor and instead of walking to classes, I drove. It was ridiculous and I'm quite sure that I gained 40-50 pounds that year. I entered college around 185 and I left college around 250. I fluctuated between 200 and 260 for 13 years until I decided I had enough. I have been to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. I have worked out, taken pills prescribed by the doctor and over the counter. I have done Atkins and South Beach. But nothing worked or it did for a little while until I couldn't stay at it. In November 2009 I weighed a whopping 285 pounds. I weighed more that my (hefty) dad. It was hard at the time to see how I got there, but now it doesn't matter. I have a tool that actually works for me! I am working hard, but I'm successful! I have another 6-12 months of weight loss to go, but I'm not at all intimidated by that. That's a first! For the first time, I'm in control! And it feels darn good. I'm over 70 pounds down since January and I fully expect to be under 200 by Thanksgiving! I would like to have lost 100 pounds by 1/31/10. Even if I don't make every goal, I'm going in the right direction and THAT is enough to keep me moving!! Anyway, I was a little "rambly" today, but The Biggest Loser will do that for me. Have a great day, y'all!!

September 29, 2010

4

I'm tired.

Since the surgery and losing so much weight (and being more active), I have had so much more energy. I think that is why when I'm feeling drained these days, I really notice it more. I think I just packed October with a little too much. I have enjoyed my trips and such, but I like my down time. I'm so looking forward to seeing my friend Ann and my godson, but the thought of getting on another airplane tomorrow is exhausting. Oh well, once I get there I will have a ton of fun! Besides, Jazzercise tonight should pick me up a bit. I think I have been so busy I haven't been focusing on my work outs which is adding to the lethargy. I guess I just need to get used to it. Things won't get "back to normal" until 2011! Hair update: I think I'm finally used to it. I still don't LOVE it, but I am starting to dig it just a little bit. That's progress!

October 21, 2010

2

Vacation over...back to the real world.

Vacations are GREAT! But it is good to come home and get back in my routine. Thursday I got to Louisville and my brother picked me up at the airport. My brother and I love each other, but we have never really been friends. I noticed that this trip, that seems to be changing. I have no idea if it is coming from me, him or both of us, but I LOVE it!! One nephew and my niece were with him and were really excited to see me (as I was them!) We picked up other nephew and met SIL at home. SIL was extremely complimentary...she has been one of my biggest supporters throughout this whole process. It feels good! Friday I slept in and then went to my nephew and niece's school for a Read-a-thon kick off. Too cute! That night we went to a party at some friends' of my brothers house. One of his friends that I have met before just went on and on about how different I look. Awesome!! Saturday, I got up and ran the 5K. I detailed all of that for you in my last post. Sunday, my brother was having a big party for the neighborhood, so I helped get ready for that. It was almost like a work out! But then all the delicious food came in for the pot luck and I ate like a fiend. Now, of course, I didn't eat like I used to, but I still ate way more than I usually do today. Sunday, I woke up and hung out with the kids a bit. Then, my SIL, the kids and I went to lunch before they took me to the airport. Super fun time!! I was really hungry this morning when I woke up. I weighed myself and I lost .2 pounds for the week. Not too bad since I went on vacation, but I think it is probably time for a fill. I had one scheduled for Thursday, but I cancelled it a couple of weeks ago when I was going strong. Oops! Anyway, I have one now scheduled for 9/14. That is two days before my parents come to town, but they are supportive so it should be fine. I certainly missed you all!!

September 7, 2010

1

Day #7 - Healing

Hi everyone! I've been absent for a couple of days because I had been following the rule that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. :bored: I knew from everything you all told me that the pain would pass, so I just waited it out. I can't say you all didn't warn me...you totally did! I guess that since I have a high tolerance for pain, I thought I could handle it better. Plus, I don't think I expected it to last so long. They didn't really get bad until Day #4 and they lasted excruciatingly until Day #6. Alas, it is Day #7 and everything is tolerable. I am still quite uncomfortable, but I feel that it is downhill from here! Food has turned me off since the surgery so I still have to force myself to eat the mushy stuff. I don't feel hungry at this point. I'm sure that once all the swelling goes down, I will be hungry again. Tomorrow is my post op appointment and they will tell me what I can eat from here. I'm trying not to hope too much that I will be able to eat something new. :mad3: That would be super awesome though. I have a girls group that goes to dinner once a month and we are getting together tomorrow. I would be fine to get soup and just eat the broth or get a smoothie on the way, but it would be so great if I can have flaky fish and mashed potatoes or something! Hope as is well with you all!!

February 2, 2010

2

What do you mean you FORGOT to eat?

I remember people saying that they "forgot to eat" or were just so busy that they "never managed to eat lunch." Huh? What? If I EVER skipped a meal, I certainly noticed and that rarely happened. A. I spent 35 years hungry, I think. Well, when I wasn't stuffing myself, that is. I constantly was conscious of how much food I was eating compared to others. And it was ALWAYS more. Yet, I hardly ever seemed full. B. I LOVE food. I love the way it tastes. I love textures and new combinations. I just love it. That won't change and I will always want what I want. I would hate it if I didn't like food. C. These things are facts. They are just who I am and I won't be able to change that. At best, I will have to learn to work around it. Approximately three months out from surgery, I realize how wrong I was. A2. The band works. I have been diligent in getting monthly fills and if I'm not at my sweet spot, I am close. Sometimes I'm hungry, so I eat. Other times I'm not, so I don't. It is truly a bizarre feeling for someone whose main focus throughout life was the next meal. B2. Tastes change. Some things that I used to love (eg. french fries) no longer appeal to me. Funny how they lose their flavor when chewed to a pulp. I thought I would HATE that, but I don't. They no longer taste good to me, so I no longer eat them. It's a "good for you" choice that I am making because of the band. C2. Pffffft... So not true! This band has truly exceeded expectations. I feel sure that with time, things could change again. However, this is BY FAR the most effective tool I have ever used (diets, pills, programs, etc...) to eat better. I honestly never believed that I would have a day where I ate to live instead of lived to eat. However, yesterday was just that day. I think I mentioned to you all yesterday that my grandmother passed away. Typically sadness and stress made me want to curl up in a ball on the sofa and eat. But with this band and my new committment to exercise, instead I worked out and ate nutrionally what I needed for the day (along with a little bit of ice cream...but that's okay!) Today I hit the 40 pound loss mark. YAY! I hope you all don't get sick of me telling you when I reach the MANY goals I set for myself. Reaching these little goals keep me motivated. 40 pounds lost, 80 to go. I'm a 1/3 done and it feels like I barely started. Life is good!

May 4, 2010

6

And now for the spandex...

Between the pictures yesterday, the compliment from a stranger and Support Group last night...I was almost giddy yesterday!! :thumbup: I think I forgot to say in my blog yesterday that I had platform shoes on in the new picture. I received a comment that I looked taller, but in all fairness I WAS taller!! But I still felt awesome! I think I have talked about this a bit before, but over the last few days I have really seen myself in a different light. Almost all of my adult life, I have been a size 18W. I remember discovering "women's" sizes my senior year in college. There have been a few (maybe 3?) short spans where I have worn smaller/bigger sizes, but the majority of the time, it was 18W. I think that in my mind 18W is my size. Period. When I was brushing up against 300 lbs. and squeezing myself into 22/24s, I would still pick up items in the 18W range and think they would fit. I would be so surprised when they didn't. Now, my 18W sizes are too big. But it seems to surprise me when I fit into something smaller. For example, I bought a Junior size XXL Halloween shirt from Target. You know those ones they have every year? I have never been able to fit in them so I had to buy the womens ones that were so ill fitting on me. Since my next 5K (!) is on October 30th, I thought it could be an "incentive" shirt. I would strive to wear it by that time. When I got home, the darn thing fit. What?? Don't get me wrong, it was awesome! But I obviously never thought I would fit my body into that. Then, last night at group, my friend Debi gave me some regular size 16 khaki pants. First of all, they were size 16, not 16W. Second, they are light khaki and that shows EVERYTHING! I'm much more comfortable in black pants. Anyway, I told her I would take them for incentive. Again, I went home, tried them on and they fit great! I wasn't even concerned with the light color. So, is it official? Am I now in the range of "normal" size? Can I actually go to "normal" stores when I go shopping? My mom is coming this weekend to help me bargain shop for fall clothes. Can we skip Lane Bryant and Avenue? There have only been two times in my adult life that I have been able to do that. In 1999, I'm not sure what initiated it, but I got down to 197# and fit into a regular size 14. That lasted about 6 months. In 2006, I had just started on my CPAP machine and was sleeping great and Jazzercising and I got down to 203# and got into regular size 16s. That lasted about 9 months. Although I KNOW I look smaller, it is hard for me to imagine that my butt will fit into something smaller. I'm quickly approaching those 203# & 197# numbers that are my all time adult lows. What then? I can barely register myself now. I can't even imagine what 185# or 175# might be. I almost hate to dream about it lest I jinx it!! I have difficulty thinking about years to come and daring to hope that (with continued dedication on my part) I will never have to wear an 18W again. I will revisit this issue again at a later date. Now...pictures. Yesterday I had my casuals. Today it is the stripped down spandex version. I really do feel like I'm tightening up nicely. I think the running is helping my legs a lot! Plus the use of hand weights at Jazzercise (and the fact that I'm up to 10# weights) is really helping the arms. I have included Front-beginning and today and Side-beginning, last month, and today. Hugs to you all!!!

September 14, 2010

2

April is going to be a fun month!

The crazy bloating I had on Monday that gave me a 1/2 pound gain for the week is gone, so YAY! I have two more weeks before my next fill, and I would really like to lose 5 pounds by then. That should be doable. I've been in a scheduling frenzy lately. I have two musicals, Nascar race weekend at TMS, a friend's wedding in South Texas, a support group meeting, a few dinners with friends, & my fill all scheduled in the next three weeks. May has two more musicals, a trip to Six Flags, a support group meeting, more dinners with friends, & a trip to Florida to see my parents. I love doing stuff!! I used to hate staying in at lunch, but now I'm learning to enjoy the post-workout feeling. I have a two workout day today, so wish me luck on accomplishing that! My trainer kicked my butt yesterday, but I know that I can still get the 2nd workout in today if I really push myself. Then tomorrow is my full day off from exercise! Plus, my office closes early tomorrow. What a way to start the weekend! I felt so down on Monday, so I'm glad to be back in fighting form! I hope all my fellow bandsters are having a great week!

April 8, 2010

2

Change is Hard...but Exciting!

I had my pre-op and nutritionist appointments this morning. I think I'm a little overwhelmed. I definitely started to panic on my way from the doctor to work, but I was able to get past it. I think I'm good to go now! I'm starting my pre-op diet tomorrow. It is mostly a liquid diet. Two protein shakes and one serving of either broth based soup or cottage cheese. You can even have "chunks" in the soup. So that will be good. It is going to be super hard. I don't know why I thought it would only be one week of liquid diet. Oh well, maybe I will lose my holiday weight before I actually have the surgery. That would be excellent!! I keep thinking about how ridiculously hungry I'm going to be. But then I think I can do most anything for two weeks. I actually told several of my employees today. I wasn't planning to tell most of work, but we were discussing me been out and I was asked specifically what surgery I was having. I started talking about how it was stomach surgery, no big deal. But then I realized that I love these people so I just said, "well, I'm having LAP-BAND®®® procedure." They were all so happy for me (of course, I guess they work for me so it would be weird to trash me.) One of them has a daughter who had a band, but she had a lot of complications. She still said she thought it was a good idea and thought I would be good with it. That was a great feeling!! So, now it is definitely not a secret. I'm okay with that. I just don't do secrets well. I took my before pictures last night and they are beauties! Ha! I will post them soon. That said...tomorrow is officially Day #1. Here I go!

January 12, 2010

2

I won't miss the chafing!

I wore a skirt yesterday and Lord Almighty, my inner thighs are paying for it! If I am blessed to lose a lot of weight in this process that is one thing I'm definitely NOT going to miss!!

November 4, 2009

2

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