I'm a self pay patient and I'm scheduled for 1/27. I love the doctor and the package of care that is included, so I was fine with the price. Expensive, but it is what I wanted.
I saw a commercial today and the advertised price for EXACTLY what I have scheduled had dropped $3k. Holy cow.
I made a call to the office and left a message with my contact to see if I can get the newly advertised price. Hopefully, they will just say yes and that will be the happy end of it.
But of course, I'm nervous that they won't.
Nothing I can do until they call me back.
For you GNR fans...
I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider
Last week I was completely grumpy and in a bad mood. I had several pity parties and woke up with a lovely pity party hangover on Monday. Monday is my official weigh in day and although I lost .8 lbs, I know that without caving in to feeling sorry for myself, I would have done better.
I realize now, that journaling is what I do to motivate myself. If I write several days in a row, I'm psyching myself up. If I don't write at all, it is because I'm down in the dumps. I don't like to write when I'm sad because it makes me face my demons. Ha!
Last week, my grandmother passed away, my uncle was hospitalized, my cousin was arrested, work was tough...all which caused a lot of stress. I think exercising each day kept big emotions at bay, but I could tell that I was cranky. And that just isn't like me. I finally got over it this weekend and yesterday I started to feel better. Plus, I had my support group meeting last night and it ALWAYS inspires me.
It is nice to learn these things about myself. This process has been about MUCH more than weight loss!
AND...yesterday was picture day. I have attached two original pics and two current pics. I love these little motivators!!
I have a couple of tasks at work that I am responsible for each week. Then there are a few each month and so on. Sometimes, like today, it comes time to do these tasks and I can't figure out where the time went. How could it possibly be time to do this when I feel like I just finished it? It's a never ending circle.
Dieting is a task. Quite frankly, all my life, it was a task of low importance. At the beginning, I would plan my entire week of food, exercise, etc. It would go on like that for a few weeks, until I wouldn't have the time and then suddenly the diet is over. With the Band, I have found that I can break that cycle! Life is getting in the way of my tasks (exercise, calorie tracking, etc.), but the Band is still there for me.
Right now, I'm in a great place! I still got myself to work out at lunch today, but I know that there will come a time when I won't. Something will get in the way. And it will be okay because I have my Band and it will keep me enough in check that I will be able to take a pause and get back to it without failing.
That, my friends, is an amazing feeling!
Side note: my mom has been diagnosed with glaucoma and is having a procedure today to help with it. So, I'm praying extra for her today.
Also: thank you to you all out there for your posts. Each and every one of you are inspiring me to get where I want to be and I can't possibly thank you enough. You guys rock!
Today I'm laughing at myself a little. As many of you know I tend to have surges and slumps. I get into a zone and I do SO WELL, then one little thing happens and I'm in a slump. I tend to use my blog to psych myself up. Honestly, it works quite well most of the time. Getting feedback from you all out there usually gives me the edge I need to meet whatever goal I'm working on at the time.
Yesterday, was no different. Feeling slumpy, I blogged and set a goal for myself. It wasn't ridiculous, just working out really well the next three days. Last night I went to Jazzercise and 5 songs in, hurt the everloving crap out of my foot. I often get plantar faciitis and it has been flaring up a little over the last few weeks. I had been doing so well with my exercise that I just wanted to ignore it. I guess I can't ignore it anymore.
So, the new and improved, flexible me is setting a NEW goal for the week. (Look at me being all "adjusty" and "easy-going".)
One thing that I have realized is that I tend to rely on exercise to help me lose weight. Don't get me wrong, the Band is helping me eat LESS, but I don't often make the best choices in what I DO eat. I have chosen to look at it as eating like a normal person (whatever the heck that is.) But, now that I can't rely on exercise (at least for a week), I need to focus on my food.
My mom sounded a little skeptical when I was running this by her this morning during our daily talk. She has been by my side my entire life dieting and not dieting. She knows how much I HATE to diet. Well, I'm not going to DIET. I'm going to make better choices. Instead of eating chicken fingers for lunch, I will have a grilled chicken salad. Instead of eating calorie loaded ice cream and candy after dinner, I will allow myself one square of dark chocolate IF I NEED IT. I will cut the mid afternoon snack(s) I usually have after or before working out since I won't need them for the extra energy.
Since I started my EXERCISE JUMPSTART a few months ago, I have spent most of my energy focusing on exercise. Now for my foot's sake, I need to rest it. (Sidenote: it couldn't come at a better time. I'm giving up working out today and tomorrow, but Thursday I'm leaving for vacation and mostly likely wouldn't have worked out through Tuesday anyway. So, by giving up these two days, I get a week of rest for my foot.) By taking this time to focus on my food, I'm hoping to get myself into as much of a routine with my "diet" (meaning food intake, not DIET diet) as I am with my exercise. So, my goal is to lose a pound in one week with no exercise. Seeing as people lose WAY more than that with no exercise all the time, that should be a very reasonable expectation.
Wish me luck, y'all! I feel strongly that I can do this. BUT I feel much more out of control not being able to rely/depend on exercise to erase my bad food choices. [Deep breath.] Here I go!!
I realize I can't continue to eat like this every day and still reach my weightloss goals. However, it is nice to have some wonderful meals, enjoy them in healthy moderation, and not feel bad about it! Plus, I finally ran again and made it 2.25 miles at lunch yesterday.
Last night was my monthly dinner with the girls. We started the group in October 2004 and I was so concerned when I got my surgery that it wouldn't be the same. While that's true, it has been a change in a good way. There are some months when dinner is right after a fill and I have had to have soup and watch the others eat. But that has only been a couple of times and all in all, it was worth it.
But what I have found is that I'm so willing to try new things now and I don't mind getting something that would be loaded with calories because I know I'm only going to eat a portion. Many times in the past I was so focused on getting light protein and veggies so I wouldn't "blow my diet." Now I enjoy whatever I want in moderation.
Last night I had a rum drink. I don't know what it was but it was STRONG, so I only had one. I started with the tortilla soup. It had an interesting texture...almost like enchilada sauce or more like a chili, but it was delicious. I ate half and saved the rest for dinner tonight. Then I had weiner schnitzel and spaetzel. I'm not going to lie, I got it because I totally love saying it! It is pounded out veal, lightly crusted and pan fried with a hearty pasta that resembled orzo to me. It was unbelievably delicious. I ate about 1/3 and have some for leftovers.
In the past, I would have never tried something like that, but I'm getting quite adventuresome. I do love good food and it is a joy to be able to enjoy it!!
For those of you that read my blogs, you know that when I started my exercise "jumpstart" a few months ago, I had to completely psych myself up for it. Every day I focused on the challenge I had made for myself and "winning".
I started exercising somewhat regularly about 6 or 7 years ago when I joined Jazzercise. I would go sporadically, sometimes 6 or 7 times a week and other times not at all. It was the first time I remotely enjoyed exercise since the days of intermural sports in school. Jazzercise helped me keep somewhat on track until I just lost it in January 2009. I still Jazzercised, but I was not watching my food intake at all. Well, I was watching, but I wasn't doing anything about it! I gained 30 pounds in 2009. By the time December 2009 came around, I weighed 285 pounds (from a "normal" or 225-255). My feet hurt so bad that I wore Crocs to work every day. My knees and other joints would hurt when I worked out. So, I didn't work out in December or January. I just couldn't. I had my surgery on 1/27 and by the end of February, I was ready to start moving.
Once I started exercising in earnest (Jazzercise, Personal Trainer, elliptical at lunch), I started feeling much better. As the weight came off, my feet didn't feel quite as bad and the other aches and pains started to subside. I noticed that about one month in, I stopped "making" myself go exercise. At that point, I wanted to go. There were a lot of times, that I could've talked myself out of it, but I KNEW that I would feel better when it was over.
About a month ago, I decided to start jogging. I thought it would be fun to make a goal of jogging a 5k. Let me make sure you understand...while I had started to feel better exercising, I hate to run. I HATE TO RUN! I don't understand the point of it, it is boring and I can't do it. A month ago, I said something to that effect to my sister-in-law and she responded in a way that said I was proving that I could do a lot of things I didn't like and that I thought I couldn't do. The challenge was on!
I started with a mile a month ago and yesterday I went 1.71 miles. It occurred to me last night on the way home from Support Group, that I am craving it. WHAT?? When the heck did that happen? I realized last night that I had no plans to work out today. I have two work outs scheduled on Wednesday, but not for today. I kind of panicked. Then I was confused. Ha!
I guess it is a new phase. I'm not sure how long it will last, but I'm grabbing on with both hands!
Funny hazard of working out: I was jogging on my home treadmill. I don't have a small MP3 player, just my bulky iPod Classic. When I'm running outside, I carry it in my hand, but when I'm on a treadmill, I put it in the cup holder or on the tray. I was going along and a song came on that I like. I threw my hands in the air (not sure if I was dancing or just excited...heh) and my iPod flew off the tray and down to my feet. I promptly stepped on it and jumped up because I didn't want to break it. I knew that was a bad idea as I started to come down on the (still moving) treadmill and flew off of it and into the desk set up behind it in my office. As I sat there, I thought that "death by treadmill" was just kind of sad and wondered how long it would take my friends to find me. Fortunately, I was totally fine but a little embarrassed. A few days later, I was jogging at the gym and had another iPod flying incident. This time I let it go and calmly got off the treadmill, picked up my iPod and got moving. The next day I smartly invested in a tiny iPod Shuffle. I guess I finally learn!! :tt1:
Have a great day everyone!
I got up this morning and stepped on the scale as I do every morning. I weighed 235.6 which is six tenths of a pound from my next major goal of losing 50 pounds! Still have a bit to go. No worries.
I continued to get ready and as part of that went to the bathroom. Without TMI, a lightbulb went off above my head and I weighed again. 235.2! Only 2 tenths away from my next goal! I almost wanted to cut off a finger. Ha!
But then I realized that whether my scale read 235.6, 235.2 or 235.0 this morning, I still look the same this morning. My true goal is to feel better and to look better. That .2 will come off and when it does I will be very excited! But no frustrations, because things are moving steadily in the RIGHT DIRECTION! And that is what is important.
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend!!
Sandradee (among others) has asked me a couple of times whether I think Jax (my Body Bugg) has been worth it. The cost of the device plus the display device was around $300.
I will say up front that I am extremely blessed. I have a wonderful job and since I'm single with no kids and relatively no responsibilities, I'm able to spend my money however I see fit without worrying about anyone else. So spending $300 for me is not the same as say my friend who is a married stay at home mother of three or another friend who is a single working mother of two.
That being said, I'm very glad that I got it. I have NEVER been one to log my food. I would try to commit myself to it, but I would lose interest in a day or two. Something about having your calories burned to offset calories consumed has helped to motivate me. I have been going strong for 3 weeks and I don't have the mindset that it is a chore. I actually enjoy logging in each night after dinner to make my updates.
One thing that I have noticed is that I think more before I just eat something. For instance, on Monday after lunch, my work group stopped and got a cookie from the Nestle Toll House Cookie Store. I LOVE Nestle Toll House cookies. I bought one and brought it back to the office with me. I looked up the nutritional information and I plugged it in my online food journal. Since I was working out that day, I determined that I could eat the cookie if I had a lighter dinner than I originally planned. I enjoyed the heck out of that cookie and savored EVERY bite. Later that night, I chose the lower calorie dinner and all was well.
I will say that I think that most of the benefit comes from logging my food. So, if you are already very good at that, I don't know if it would be worth it or not. To me, it has changed how I operate entirely!
Also, I am very conservative with my food counts. Meaning, I always try to pad my estimates. For instance, if I have a couple bites of mashed potatoes, I would probably log 1/4 cup as opposed to 2 T. I have read that we tend to underestimate what we eat by 20-40(!)% Wow! I figure that no matter how hard I try, I will not remember (or know) everything that is in what I'm eating (especially when I eat out) so if I pad a little, hopefully I will have enough counted to cover anything I miss. Interestingly, even with that padding, Jax tells me that I only lose 1/2 of what I calculate that I should lose. And I definitely don't lose it when I'm "supposed" to. But that's okay, as I collect data about myself, I learn more and more and it helps me to be less frustrated.
So for me, for my needs, for my circumstances, Jax is worth it! I committed to logging food for 4 weeks and wearing Jax for 8 weeks. I realize now that I need to do both and will now commit to doing both. I feel sure though that I will continue long past 8 weeks. I feel that way now...I will get back to you in about 5 weeks! :thumbup:
Just wanted to give you a couple of quick updates:
Eating steak: I did okay with the steak. I had to cut it into the smallest of pieces and I was only able to eat about an ounce. Last night at home, I had the leftovers and ate bigger bites, but would spit out the fat (tendons that wouldn't chew down) instead of swallowing it. Sounds kind of gross, but it worked. I don't think I like steak enough to work that hard. HA!
Jazzercise: our friends came to class with us last night. They had a lot of fun supporting my BFF by it really isn't their cup of tea. One is a runner, but the other doesn't work out much and I hope that she finds some sort of activity that she enjoys. My arm ached a little from the tetanus shot (it still does!) but I'm glad I got in the extra work out. Something funny...as I was cleaning up after class, I picked up some 5 pound weights that someone had forgotten to put away. They felt so light to me that I almost threw them in the air. It made me feel like The Hulk!! :wink2:
Have a super day everyone! Tomorrow is Friday!
Good morning everyone!
Last night I was still not to my pre-Chinese fighting weight. I was beyond frustrated and quickly coming to the realization that a little Mandarin chicken is NOT going to have that LONG of an effect. When I don't know what in the heck is going on, I go to the numbers.
Accoring to Jax (as many of you know, Jax is my BodyBugg), I should have lost roughly a pound this week thus far...give or take. Seeing that I have only lost two tenths, that is A LOT of TAKE!
I went back further. Last week was my overfill, allergy, emergency unfill debacle. I lost 4.4 pounds last week. Well...according to Jax, I should have only lost 2.3 pounds last week. So at the end of last week, my scale was 2 pounds "ahead", which I'm sure was an effect of dehydration from the overfilled period.
Meaning, I would have to gain 2 pounds this week for me to "break even". Make sense? The fact that I'm down AT ALL is a sign that I'm having a great week! This is why I'm glad I spent the money to buy Jax. I would have been very frustrated this week to work so hard and be at a standstill. However, he has given me the INFORMATION to make me realize what is going on with my body.
Goal track: I still have 2 pounds to lose by next Thursday to reach my mini goal of hitting 210 by my New Orleans trip. But I'm still well on track with my semi major goal to be 199 by Thanksgiving and the major goal of losing 100 pounds (185#) by 1/31/11.
New stuff: I was a little less creative today. I have on an old shirt, but this is the first time I have worn it. I bought it about 5 years ago on the way up. It was tight at the time, but it was on sale. :thumbup: Plus, just a few pounds and I could fit into it! Haha! Anyway, now it looks quite nice. I also have on my new black flats. They aren't fancy, but everyone needs a basic pair of black flats! My jeans are a size 18 and it is apparent that it is time to retire them. I have 9 pairs of jeans (keep in mind that I wear jeans to work) and over the last 2 weeks, I have had to retire 5 pairs! I think if I try on a 6th pair, they will have to go as well. Looks like someone is going jeans shopping!!
Have a wonderful, wonderful Friday! And a safe and happy weekend!!
Jax, my new Body Bugg, came today. YAY! I can't wait to get home tonight to get it all hooked up and ready to go. I have PROMISED myself that I will do a few productive things before I start. Ha!
I fully expect this thing to make me lose 30 pounds in the next 3 months! Just kidding! I know it won't do the work for me, but wouldn't it be nice?
Yesterday was my 2nd full day of logging calories consumed. I worked SO hard and what was my reward?? No movement on the scale. It must be broken. Surely if I'm doing something I don't want to be doing, the earth would shift, the heavens would shine down on me and I would get what I want, right? Apparently, the universe begs to differ.
Off to do some work. I will post some pictures of me and Jax tomorrow.
I forgot to measure Wednesday night. That's not like me to forget a checkpoint.
Drum roll, please...
I lost 13 inches total this month! I measure each upper arm and wrist, neck, bust, waist, belly, hips, and each thigh and calf (13 spots in total). That is the 2nd most yet!! I lost 3.5 inches from my waist and 3.75 inches from my belly just this month. Other big losers were my hips (1.5") and my right thigh (??!!?) (1.25").
My biggest loser thusfar...I have lost 9.5 inches from my waist since mid-January. Whoa! Total inches lost from the beginning...53.25". Wow.
Just in the last week or so, I moved to my Lane Bryant size 1 jeans since the 2's were getting a little baggy. I'm not joking when I say that these are not going to make it very long. I have only 3 pairs of jeans that currently fit and no other pants. I think I will absolutely have to go shopping for real in 30-60 days. YAY!!
I told you all about the fabulous book I'm reading...The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. This chick is AWESOME!! I have some more "me" quotes for you:
Quote #1: "All this cold hard data is strangely comforting. If I don't like my weigh-in result, I can manipulate the data and spit out a statistic that will make me feel better."
Quote #2: "This whole love-hate relationship with my body is exhausting. How do you tame that negative voice? How do you learn to like yourself? I'd settle for mere tolerance, just enough to make me believe I'm worth all this effort. But I can't run away this time, I'll go back to the class next week. I'll keep on going and I'll get better at it. These days, I'm not the kind of girl who gives up.
Quote #3: "Some days I'm positive and proud to have come this far. But some days my confidence and resolve feel flimsier than those string bikinis, ready to come undone at the slightest hint of a breeze.
Did I mention that I LOVE this book??
Sorry for the horn tootin', but I was just so darn happy! I'm off to Louisiana, so I will talk to you all next Wednesday!!
Hi everyone! I think I must've caught something while on vacation because I've felt puny the last couple of days. I took some Nyquil and went to bed at 8:30pm last night so I feel a little better today. Hopefully, I will feel a lot better by the afternoon because I work at Jazzercise tonight. If I'm going to be there I'm going to work out!!
I'm looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Tomorrow after 3pm, I have to call the US District Court to find out whether I will be called to Jury Duty on Monday. I have never been called before, so there is a part of me that would be interested to participate. The other part of me knows that I'm super busy during the next 2 weeks and jury duty could really mess me up! :wink: I will keep you posted.
Tomorrow is also my annual well woman exam. Super fun! At least I'm not old enough for mammograms yet, so I suppose it could be worse!
Have a great Thursday!
It's been quite a week! I'm glad it is the last day of my self-imposed exercise hiatus. I do think it has been productive though. I learned (as I suspected) that I was using exercise as an excuse to make bad food choices. I think that now I have my head wrapped around the idea that I can make good choices without feeling like I'm sacrificing greatly.
A couple of my thin friends say that is why you exercise...so you can eat what you want. I tried to explain to them that is a faulty argument for me two reasons. First, they are thin and just working to maintain. I am trying to lose over 100 pounds. In a year, when I plan to be at or very near my goal weight, I can live on a very small calorie deficit or even breakeven. But if I do that now, I will never get to where I want to be.
Secondly, and probably most importantly, I am a food addict or at the very least, I have an unhealthy relationship to food. Eating "whatever you want" most likely means a very different thing to me than it does to my thin friends. I can never have the attitude that I can eat "whatever I want". Even at goal, I will have to modify that.
I would like to think that I will lose this weight and gradually learn better food habits. I would like to think that when this weight is gone, I can eat like a "normal" person without the assistance of the band. While I don't think that is 100% out of the question someday, I do think that I will probably need the help for at least a long while. And I'm really starting to be okay with that.
Right now, I AM dieting, whether I want to admit to it or not. Now, it is also life changing and I'm not dieting in an unhealthy way. However, I'm eating in a way that I do not plan to continue forever. I don't think you should have a 1,000 calorie deficit forever because at some point you need to even out. But that IS normal.
This week while not exercising, but focusing on food, I have lost 1.6 pounds in 5 days. I hope to increase that over the weekend. My plan next week is to keep the same plan with my food, but add a 150-200 calorie snack on days that I work out. That should increase my calorie deficit on those days by 350-450 calories.
Starting tomorrow, the schedule is to work out 5 1/2 hours in the next 8 days. After 0 hours in 6 days, that should be interesting!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
My attitude has done a 180 today and there are MANY reasons for it.
1. My three point plan I discussed yesterday which included logging food and exercising more. Planning alone helps me get out of the dumps.
2. My support group meeting last night which was AWESOME! If you aren't currently attending a support group, I would suggest that you try and find one. Mine only meets once a month, so it isn't a huge committment and it never fails to lift me up. I learn something every time. When I first started, I didn't think that I NEEDED to be part of a support group, but going was one of the best decisions I made.
3. Updated pics...I'm not sure how much difference you can REALLY tell, but I think it is something. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get my pictures to upload (it says they are too big) so I will have to figure that out.
4. I implemented part of my plan and used the elliptical machine in aerobic mode for 20 minutes. [sidebar: I forgot how much I sweat. Bringing a towel, soap, deoderant and a change of underwear would have been a good plan. Oops! Tomorrow.]
5. I received an email & a text from two wonderful new friends I met at suppor group. How nice is that??
After work, it is off to Jazzercise. Then I have a meeting with the sales guy at 24 Hour Fitness to start the personal trainer part of my plan.
Week #1 of my 8 week Jumpstart! Here I go!!
I'm totally in love with Jax and we can't be apart!! As you all know, my new Body Bugg (aka Jax) was delivered yesterday. I got home last night and started setting it up. It said that it takes approximately 3 hours to charge fully and I first plugged it in at 7:30 PM. At 10:15 I was ready for bed, but Jax was still working So, I went and took a shower to busy myself. After that he was all pumped up and ready to go!
Apparently I burn 711 calories while I'm asleep. Go me! I slept for around 8 hours, so I burn around 2100 calories a day doing nothing. Just goes to show how many calories I was consuming!!
So far today (since midnight) I have burned 1,026 calories and I have taken 1,456 steps. It also says that my body has had 13 minutes of "activity" today. Considering I'm just walking around my office, that's interesting.
Oh...I'm at 1,028 calories burned now. Ha! I see that this is going to be quite an obsession. The question will be whether it is fleeting or if it will be a long term committment!
There is a "trip" button that I can reset at any time. So at Jazzercise tonight, I plan to set it to see how many steps I take and how many calories I burn during the class. That should be fun! I can't wait to see how much difference there is between workouts (not just between Jazzercise and jogging, but just between Jazzercise classes themselves.) I know that sometimes I'm giving a lot more than others.
The other big news of the day is that we bought tour tickets for So You Think You Can Dance. That will be here on 9/22. I remember how uncomfortable I was at the last tour, so it will be so nice to be more relaxed this time!! I love that show and the tour is always fun. It is still 8 weeks away, so I could be another 10-15 pounds down by then.
Postscript: I took a potty break just now and caught myself checking myself out in front of the full length mirror. We usually wear jeans to work, but today I'm in black dress pants and top which are quite slimming. YAY!! Feels so good.
Hi everyone!
It is amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you are willing to accept it. One thing I have noticed during this "journey" is that people have no hesitation in giving out advice and indicating that they know better than I do. I have had that with diet, exercise, you name it.
But then I started to realize that I do it too! And I started to wonder how I am making people feel when I do that. I'm trying to make a consicous effort to only give advice when it has been requested (except of course when it comes to my parents...they get it automatically. :tt2:) It is a fine line between giving (or getting) information and giving (or getting) unsolicited advice. In my opinion, I LOVE information and want as much of it as I can get. But I can do without advice and the judgement that sometimes comes with it.
For instance, with my decision to start walking down the stairs at work...I appreciated getting the information that walking DOWN stairs can be hard on your knees and isn't typically a recommended form of exercise. With that information, I can pay close attention to my knees and any pain that might creep up. However, I didn't appreciate the advice that I should be walking UP the stairs and how I should go about doing that and then the judgement that followed when I decided to stick with my plan for the time being.
[Deep breath.] I just get frustrated, you know? Anyway, I hope it goes without saying that my blog is an unofficial solicitation for feedback, so advice out here NEVER goes unappreciated!! :smile: Maybe I'm being hypocritical, but I think it is different.
Speaking of Project Stairs, I have finished Day 4. My calves are still burning, but at least I was able to get out of bed this morning without feeling like I was going to collapse! They hurt, but now feel more like I had a crazy hard work out...not that someone beat my legs with a bat. Ha! One more day then they will get a two day break.
My friend bailed on water aerobics with me last night. She is a working mom of three, so I can hardly get upset with her! I went to Jazzercise instead. I will go again tonight. I love it, so it is always good!
Have a great day!
Surgery date, that is! I have my pre-op and dietician consult on Tuesday, January 12th. That is when I start my pre-op diet. {cringe}
The big day is Wednesday, January 27th. That is 68 days away! With Thanksgiving and Christmas in there, time is going to fly by.
I'm quite excited! Now that everything is scheduled, it is truly time to just wait. I feel so relaxed, confident and completely satisfied with my decision. I know I will get nervous a few times between now and then, but I am ready.
My parents and 3 friends know right now. A couple remain supportive but skeptical. That's okay, because I plan to "show", not "tell." My plan is to actively blog, attend my support groups and do exactly what my doctor tells me to do.
And so it begins...!!
Since the surgery and losing so much weight (and being more active), I have had so much more energy. I think that is why when I'm feeling drained these days, I really notice it more.
I think I just packed October with a little too much. I have enjoyed my trips and such, but I like my down time. I'm so looking forward to seeing my friend Ann and my godson, but the thought of getting on another airplane tomorrow is exhausting. Oh well, once I get there I will have a ton of fun!
Besides, Jazzercise tonight should pick me up a bit. I think I have been so busy I haven't been focusing on my work outs which is adding to the lethargy. I guess I just need to get used to it. Things won't get "back to normal" until 2011!
Hair update: I think I'm finally used to it. I still don't LOVE it, but I am starting to dig it just a little bit. That's progress!
So even though I had to get up an hour early this morning, I already feel like it is a better day! I think sometimes Mondays are just kind of overcast type days. Weekend hangovers abound. :bored:
So, yesterday was a normal day at work. I had a working lunch with the Controller at my Property Management company. He & I used to work together when my company owned the PM Company, but we sold it. He went with the PM and I stayed with the Asset Management company. We went to a place called the Ranch and it was delicious. I had the meatloaf which worried me a litte because I sometimes have trouble with ground meat. But it was so tender and had a delicious chipotle salsa to make it almost melt in your mouth. Plus, there were mashed potatoes! The waitress was very concerned that I didn't like my meal since I only ate half. I'm very excited to have the rest for lunch today!!
Then I had a meeting with my boss and our insurance broker. He was in town networking. We met for about an hour then went to dinner. We went to Pappa Bros. steakhouse. They had a salmon option, so that's what I went with. I also had a glass of wine. This is one of those places where you buy a $50 steak, then have to order your side items separately. The guys ordered asparagus (which melted in your mouth), crab macaroni & cheese (unbelievably good), & au gratin potatoes (just in case we didn't already have enough cheese.)
The side orders come family style, so our broker was piling them on my plate. I ate maybe a third of what was on my plate when I was done. He was SO UPSET that I didn't like my meal. I assured him that I eat very little at dinner and that I will love eating the leftovers. Life has so changed! In the past, I would have eaten everything on that plate and then leapt for dessert when he offered.
When my boss got up to use the restroom, the broker (who is entirely too old for me) started telling me how awesome I am. Ha! Good to know that I'm appreciated. It was only slightly awkward. :-)
I went to bed early so I could get up early. I had a CPE class in North Dallas at 8am! I left around 7am and got stuck in traffic. I didn't even make the class. That's annoying. BUT...I still feel like it is a good day. I'm going to work out at lunch and then I get to enjoy my leftover meatloaf. Then I have my monthly girls dinner tonight! I will have leftovers for the entire week after tonight. :-)
Have a good day everyone!!
Beth
I missed you all while I was on vacation! I had a wonderful time.
We left at lunchtime on Thursday. The drive to my friend's small town Louisiana home is about 6 hours, so we made it in time for dinner. Her brother and his family met us at her parents' house and we all had some EXCELLENT smothered chicken. I was a little concerned about the rice since I have had some trouble with it, but with the Cajun gravy, it all went down fine.
Friday we went to New Orleans. I couldn't resist cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde, but I limited myself to one. I still don't understand why I can't eat bread, but the fried doughs, cakes and such all go down fine. Ha! We spent some time walking around the French Quarter. I was looking to buy a painting, but I didn't find anything that particularly caught my attention. We went to lunch at 1179 which is an Italian restaurant closer to the WWII museum. It was on the expensive side for lunch, but it was very good. After lunch we went to the WWII museum and I have to say that it exceeded every expectation. The movie is a MUST SEE. If you are ever in NOLA, you should visit and if you are a hard core war buff, you should make the trip. We left around 5 and made it back home in time for my friend's dad's Cajun Shrimp Stew. Oh my God. It was unbelievably delicious. If I haven't mentioned it yet, my friend's dad is an incredible Cajun cook. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to eat his food, but I could...just in moderation like a "normal" person.
Saturday we spent with my friend's brother's family. He has two little girls that are both adorable and exhausting! We went to a 4th of July celebration and watched fireworks. On Sunday, my friend's extended family gathered at her parents' house for a potluck lunch. Heavenly!! Her dad BBQ'd Boston butt (hee, I'm 12) and there was macaroni and cheese, eggplant/rice dressing, carrot casserole (which tasted like the best sweet potato casserole ever!) and baked beans. I had a little of everything and I was satisfied with one trip. I did have a couple pieces of PB fudge for dessert. :frown:
Monday was our annual casino trip. I was down almost $100 bucks in 3 hours!! Yikes!!! But I made an incredible comeback in the last 45 minutes and made it out only down $40. Whew!
We came back to town yesterday. We are working today and tomorrow, then leaving for Wichita Friday. We are going to see the Mens USA Volleyball team compete in World Cup pool play. We are big fans!
I'm happy to say that while I was on vacation, with NO exercise whatsoever, I'm down almost a pound. Woo hoo! I plan to jog during lunch today and go to Jazzercise tomorrow night. That's about all I'm going to get this week. But I figured it will at least keep me a little more prepared when I get back to normal next week.
A fun NSV: neither my friend nor I usually fit into "normal" size bracelets. They are usually too big for her and too small for me. She got one from her aunt for Christmas and she gave it to me because it was too big for her. It didn't fit me, but I held on to it. I'm wearing it today. YAY!!
Jax is providing me with TONS of information. First and foremost, I burned 3060 calories yesterday. Wow! I cringe to think about how many calories I was consuming per day to gain the 20-30 pounds in the last 6 months of 2009. Yikes!
But the good news is that now I know. I have set up my online program to shoot for a goal of a 900 calorie deficit each day. I'm actually trying to reach closer to 1200 per day to allow for the apparent 20-40% (!) error rate that people have when counting calories consumed. I try to be conservative when counting what I eat, but I want to make sure that I'm allowing some cushion.
So, yesterday I burned 3060 calories and consumed 1625 for a calorie deficit of 1435. Technically, that should lose me .4 pounds. Actually, I weighed exactly the same this morning that I did yesterday morning. That's okay though. I feel quite sure that it will all catch up.
Tomorrow is my best friend's birthday. Today for lunch we are going to Babe's Chicken and tomorrow night we are going to Campania's Pizza. I have to say that knowing Jax is paying a whole lot of attention will help me make good choices.
Have a great weekend!!
I wore a skirt yesterday and Lord Almighty, my inner thighs are paying for it! If I am blessed to lose a lot of weight in this process that is one thing I'm definitely NOT going to miss!!
It has been an interesting week. One in which I have learned a bit about myself. Last Monday I began to get sick. I really pushed myself to get through it. I worked out on Monday and twice on Tuesday and ate well. I lost over a pound in those two days. By Tuesday night, I just couldn't deny that I was sick.
Wednesday I went to the doctor and took it easy. Thursday I worked out but didn't push too hard. I also did not make good eating choices. In those two days, I found my lost pound.
By the weekend, I felt myself making excuses. I've been sick, so I should take it easy. I've had a rough week, so a treat is in order. I haven't slept well, so I should sleep in instead of working out. On and on it went through the weekend. Monday (today) is my official weigh in day and I lost 8 tenths of a pound for the week. Don't get me wrong. I will take a loss regardless of the size. But in my heart, I know that I wasn't working at it. A pound when you are working hard is a huge victory...a pound when you are making bad choices is not. (for me.)
If I were the old, unbanded me, today would be the day I would quit. I mean I have lost 50 pounds. I fit GREAT in my clothes. I'm at a "normal" weight for myself as an adult. I can tell that if I were the old me, I would start my climb back into non-diet mode.
Fortunately for me, I'm no longer on a diet! I have changed my life. Therefore, it is much easier for me to say "ENOUGH!" It is much easier to stop this nonsense and get myself back on track. I couldn't help getting sick and causing a pause in my routine. But I CAN help how I react to it.
My goal is to eat "right" (and I know what that means for me) and work out three hours during the next three days. If I do that, I know myself well enough to know that will be enough to get me going in the right direction and the rest will come.
I'm leaving for vacation on Thursday and return on Tuesday. Then I leave again on Friday and return on Sunday. I actually do well on vacation so I'm not worried about that at all. My issues are squarely on me when I'm at home by myself. It is time to make myself busy again.
Thank you Band for helping me to be strong and take control of my life! I will always have hurdles, but you have helped me be able to jump them instead of letting them stop me!
I guess I should be glad that it only took me 30 minutes to figure out the new format today. Whew! I'm not so good with change. It's funny, because I have spent the last few days contemplating my band and my next steps. I had no idea the site was down!
Many wonderful people I have met since being banded have talked about how great it is that they no longer have to diet. They just work with the band and the pounds melt away. I'm truly so glad for them and wish everyone had the same success! However, not everyone does. I, for instance, have had WONDERFUL success, but I have had to work at it.
I have come to the realization that I'm tired of dieting. Now, dont' get me wrong, dieting this year has been SO MUCH BETTER than dieting in previous years. It was easiER than in previous years and I was able to be PRODUCTIVE. If I do my normal routine...which does include exercise...I can MAINTAIN steady with the band. But in order to lose, I have to watch my food intake just like any other DIET I have ever been on and I have to actively increase my exercise.
Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint. Quite the contrary! I have never been able to stick to a weight loss plan for 10 months in the past. I have never been able to lose 75 pounds before. These are all gifts in my mind!
But a diet is a diet and I'm tired of working at it. Soooo...y'all know me and my never ending need for a plan. And, I'm not just going to "stop". But I need to stop this frustrating water treading.
So, I have 2 weeks and 2 days until my throat is (literally) cut. When it is time for my tonsilectomy, I know that Band or no Band, I will not be able to eat normally for 10-14 days. Until then, I plan to live normally. I plan to exercise. I plan to not eat like a crazy person. I plan to use all of the good habits that I have developed over the last year. Additionally, I will continue to log my exercise time and my daily weight.
But Jax is going to take a vacation. I'm NOT going log my calories or any Bodybugg information. What I hope this does is to take the HYPERfocus off my diet and just let me chill for a bit.
Two weeks until the surgery, then three weeks after. By then, it will be 2011 and like any NORMAL person with weight issues, I will have New Year's resolutions and I will be excited. Even with this break, I should be in Onederland by my bandiversary. I had hoped to LOSE 100 pounds by then, but I'm flexible and I refuse to be disappointed.
Tomorrow I leave for Thanksgiving vacation. My parents, brother's family and I are renting a cabin in the mountains in North Carolina. It is going to be so much fun!! I will check in when I get back and let you all know how it goes. Have a happy and wonderful Thanksgiving! I certainly have much to be thankful for this year and you all are among my blessings.
Thank you.
Beth
Hi everyone!!
I'm back from my weekend volleyball extravaganza getaway in Wichita! After two weekends out of town, it will be nice to get back into a routine.
Friday, after a Starbucks stop, we made our way from DFW to Wichita. I have to say that Oklahoma has some beautiful views. Our hotel was in Old Town Wichita which is a fun area with bars, shops and restaurants. Very nice! After relaxing a bit and freshening up, we had dinner at a Latin American restaurant. I had paella which probably wasn't the best choice, but I love the stuff! I couldn't eat the shrimp, squid or clams (too fibrous) so I gave those to my friend Cori. I ate the chicken, veggies and some rice. Surprisingly I just haven't had much issue with rice lately after having horrible times with it in the past. Weird.
After dinner it was time to head over to Wichita State University (home of the Shockers!) for a fun night of volleyball. We were there to watch the mens USA Volleyball team play the Russian team. We beat them 3-0 in a surprisingly exciting blowout! WSU has a strong volleyball team and there were a lot of fans in attendance. After the game, the guys lined up to sign autographs. I used that time to get up close and take some photos. Those guys make me feel much like a midget, but darn it if they aren't cute!!
After dinner we strolled around Old Town. We had a glass of wine and some hummus at a wine bar. It had a nice laid back atmosphere, but was more of a date place. We ended up at a more "bar" bar and sat at the bar nursing a glass of wine. We ended up making friends with the bartenders who gifted us with a free shot. After that, it was time to hit the sack.
I woke up about 2 hours later with HORRIBLE stomach cramps. Guess 2 1/2 glasses of wine and a shot isn't really "in moderation". Good to know for future reference.
Saturday morning, I woke (surprisingly) feeling pretty good. We went to a place called Eggs Cetra for breakfast. I usually can't eat at breakfast, but after some coffee I was able to eat a little bacon and eggs. Yum!
We spent the day walking around Old Town and driving around Wichita. It is a really nice place to visit! If the volleyball game is there next year, we definitely plan to go back. We HAD to stop at place called Nifty Nuts to get some honey roasted cashews and some dark chocolate covered graham crackers. :rolleyes2:
That night there was another volleyball game. This time the team wasn't so fired up and we lost 1-3. With that the USA is out of World League play for the year. Bummer! I have attached a couple of pictures of the players that I find adorable. As much as I already love volleyball, it sure doesn't help to have some eye candy. Ha! Also, during the breaks, the bench players worked out. BEST TIME OUT ENTERTAINMENT EVER!!
After the game, we went for a late dinner. I had grilled snapper and it was a little overcooked, but the light sauce was DELICIOUS! Since we ate late, we walked around for a while to make sure my food made it's way where it should before I went to bed. There was a HUGE car show going on so it wasn't hard to waste time checking it out. There was one super pimped out red caddy with unbelievable chrome trim and a fur dashboard. Awesome!!
After that, bedtime. We are just not night owls. The next morning as I was packing up the car, I pulled a muscle in my back. It is certainly not the worst I have ever done, but it made the drive back to DFW quite unpleasant. I'm not sure about you all, but when I am in pain (any kind) my band tends to tighten up. So, I couldn't eat breakfast or lunch. I'm guessing Cori was as eager to get back as I was considering I was probably not very good company!!
Once I got back home, I was able to eat so that helped. Today my back is still sore, so I will have to take a few days off exercise. I was telling my mom this morning that I can completely tell the difference in my life because since I'm not "on a diet", when I get thrown a curveball, it is so easy to get back to things. I'm just much more flexible than I ever was before. I owe SO much of that to the band.
This morning, I was down 3.4 pounds! What?? I guess I did walk around a lot this weekend. That means I passed another 5 pound mini-goal and have lost over 55 pounds. YAY!
Tonight is Support Group and I ALWAYS look forward to that. Tonight is also picture time, so I should have that updated tomorrow.
Have a great day y'all!!
