Wowzaa...Friday sucked. Flat out one of the top (bottom) ten work days I've ever had. In one decision, I cost my struggling company about $40k that it sincerely doesn't have. I was a basket case on Friday and it took me long into the weekend to get a grip on my mood. Objectively, I knew about 2 hours in that it wasn't truly my fault and about 4 hours in I had determined that with the information I had at the time, I would make the same decision every time. But it took me about 24-30 hours to adjust back from my bad attitude. I was mad at EVERYBODY although I did do my darnedest not to show it. I slipped a little, but my truly awesome friends rallied and even tried to cheer me up with crazy You Tube videos. :thumbup:
But by Sunday, I was all better and today is just another new workday. I have a lot of responsibility in my job and a lot of high expectations. Occassionally, I'm going to make a mistake and that is just part of life. The good news is that we may have legal rights to retrieve the money so that would be even better!! Regardless, we have all learned a lot from this experience.
Moving on to Sunday...I went shopping. (Sidenote: finallyincontrol, I think you were the one that said that I love to shop? I thought of that repeatedly during the day. HA!) I now have plenty of clothes to get me through the next 20-30 pounds, I think. One of my friends here at work told me I look very SLENDER in the outfit I'm wearing today. ME...slender? Uh, okay. Huh. I will take it!!
I figured out last night that I wasn't going to be down this week at my Monday morning weigh in. I even had a fill this week...a teensy weensy one, but a fill nonetheless. I ALWAYS lose a couple of pounds at least on a fill week. But I guess I have reached my first dreaded plateau. Y'all know I'm not one to sit around and find out. So...yes, I have a plan!
I ordered a Body Bugg last night and it should be here sometime this week. I'm committing to a new 8 week plan. I'm not technically starting until next week since I don't have the bug which I have already named Jax (after the badass biker on Sons of Anarchy). I was going to name it Bicho (meaning bug in Spanish), but I was afraid that everyone would think that I was calling it a bitch. :smile2:
I will use Jax to accurately determine calories burned during the day as well as log my calories consumed. I'm committing to using Jax for calories burned for 8 weeks. I'm committing to recording calories consumed for 4 weeks, because I honestly don't think I can get myself to do more. Hopefully after 4 weeks it will become habit, but committing to 8 weeks for something I absolutely hate to do is too overwhelming.
Additionally, I'm committing to doing 20 minutes of beginner yoga 4 times per week. At least 3 of those times must be in the morning before work (because I think it would be really beneficial).
Honestly, using Jax for calories burned is a no brainer. Once I got over the thought of spending $300, using it will be no big deal. Getting myself up (just 20-30 minutes) earlier in the morning is going to be a little more challenging, but I used to do it all the time. I know that once I get through a couple of weeks, I will be able to do it. Recording my calories consumed is going to be the real challenge here.
Technically, it was supposed to be part of my first 8 week challenge, but I gave it up after a day and decided that I would only do it if I gained weight. I'm such a sucker to myself!! But I thought if I lowered the committment to 4 weeks, I might at least get out of the gate.
I'm going to visit my brother and his family for Labor Day. They know I'm doing this and saw me at the highest at Christmas and then again 40 pounds lighter at my grandmother's funeral. There are over 5 weeks until that vacation and I would very much like to lose 10 pounds. That is a lot for me since I typically average 1.8 pounds and I seem to be slowing. BUT it is very doable. That would put me at around 70 pounds lost and only about 15-20 pounds from my lowest weight ever as an adult.
I can do this! Thank you all for your good wishes and support. It makes ALL the difference in the world!
Hi everybody! Yesterday I was scheduled for my next fill. I think that makes my 5th. I hadn't been sure what I was going to do because I have had some sticking issues, but the last week I have been VERY hungry a lot of the time. Tuesday night I got some very good advice from a fellow bandster that if I was in doubt, I should wait. So I decided that I would cancel my appointment first thing in the morning.
Interestingly, I woke up at 2:00 AM and I was STARVING. Tummy growling, I could eat a horse type hungry! I had eaten a perfectly fine dinner, so I felt it was a sign. I decided to keep the appointment and see what my AWESOME (not to mention dreamy looking) doctor had to say.
I got to the office quite early. I spent the time reading Diet Girl...(I'm almost done!) When it was time, I found out I had lost 11 pounds since my last visit 6 weeks prior, so that was great! In the back waiting room, there was a lovely lady there who had gone to a different doctor the day before to be filled (someone closer to home) and she couldn't even hold down water. Yikes! She looked utterly miserable. That made me stop and think a little bit. I NEVER want to be like that. She said the other doctor described himself as "aggressive". Hmmm...interesting. Anyway, she went first and looked SO relieved when she was done.
When it was my turn, I told my doc my feelings. He took a look under the fluoro and said that he thought I looked really close. He only added one tenth of one cc. He said that some people are very sensitive to it and just a couple drops can make a difference. He cautioned me to come back right away if I can't hold things down. I'm glad he such a great doctor! He actually seems to care. I have heard so many horror stories of surgeons and fill docs not listening to their patients, so I'm quite thankful.
I don't typically go back to work after my fills because I'm a big baby and I get REALLY grumpy when I'm hungry. Fill or no fill, a liquid diet does not make me not hungry...EVER. So, I went shopping. I need some jeans so I started a Lane Bryant. I was in a size 1 Blue Right Fit. They don't do those sizes anymore, so I took a plethora of 14s & 16s to the fitting room. One pair of 14s fit (badly) and ALL the rest were too SMALL. What up, kitty cat? That's not right. Anyway, I went back out and started over. After trying on about 20 pairs of jeans, I ended up with two pairs of size 16 straight leg. They are going to be too big in about a month, but I could barely get the 14s on, much less wear them in public. I wear jeans to work almost every day, so I decided that I needed them to fit now. I will worry about it in a month or two when they are too big. I also bought a $15 pair of black trousers that fit perfectly. SCORE! I picked up some undies while I was there. I love their old thongs...the new ones aren't very good quality, but I got them anyway. I won't fit in them for long anyway!
Then I went to Old Navy. To the fitting room I took size 18 & 20 jeans, khakis, & cargo pants. I figured that would be enough to cover the difference between "Womens" and "Misses" sizes. I also took in a XXL dress and an XL & XXL shirt. The shirts fit weirdly, but everything else was too big. WHAT?? Yeah, but sigh. I went back out and started over. I brought size 16s of everything and an XL dress. The dress looked adorable, but all of the 16s were too tight or ill-fitting. Ugh. Whatever.
It was still quite early when I got home and I didn't want to sit in front of the TV where I would think about food, but I also didn't really have enough energy to exercise, so I decided to clean out my closet. I tried on every single item in my closet that I have not worn in the last two weeks.
Holy moly! I filled up 3 stretchy garbage bags of clothes. My old jeans alone were over a half of one garbage bag!! I had a group of "a little too small, try again soon" clothes from last time. EVERYTHING in that group either fit or was too big. YAY!! I had a pile of "good luck someday cause these suckers are TIGHT" clothes and everything in that group fit or moved into the "try again soon" section. What a trip! It put the whole shopping debacle in perspective.
This morning I officially hit the 60 lb mark. WOOHOO! In 2006, I weighed about 20 pounds less than I do now, so all the clothes I have on hand (except for my prom dress) are reachable very soon. Come winter, I will have almost nothing but my jeans to wear. Although, Dallas is a good place for layers, so a lot of summer stuff can go well into Fall and be layered for Winter. I told my mom I would fly her down in late Sept/early Oct so she can shop with me. She won't let me get frustrated or stop before I've finished my mission. Ha!
Hope you all are having a great week!
Yesterday was a tough blog post for me. Because I had a bad morning yesterday, it started bringing up all those old feelings.
I made myself remember all of it. Not just Buffalo Butt, not just the bus, but more... There were so many times that I was interested in a boy that befriended me only to end up dating one of my (thinner) friends. It's very possible it was because they just didn't want to date ME, but all I saw was rejection of a fatty. As an adult, I had two long distance relationships right out of college and that is it. Nada in about a decade. I've only kissed one guy in about 6 years, I think? And that was a drunken hook up at a friend's wedding. Ha!
Growing up, I was the same size as some of my friends, but I always considered myself the fat one. I look at pictures and that wasn't really the case. All my friends had dates and boyfriends, but I didn't. My mom said that I always pushed them away or cut them off. The older I get, the more I realize that might be somewhat true. You know that Rodney Dangerfield quote about him not wanting to join any club that would have himself as a member? That's me, I think. In my head, I don't want to date anyone that would want to date me. Wow. That's just kinda sad...like, really...sad.
Did I mention that I love boys? I do. I'm boy crazy, in fact!! I just never get past the admiring stage.
I know I'm smart. I know I'm witty (in person...not so much in writing, ha!) I know that I am a natural leader, have a good work ethic and I'm nice. Apparently humble as well. But all that is negated much of the time because I'm fat. I was driving with a guy friend one time and he told me that guys will choose the skinny girl over the better looking overweight girl every time. He said that he knew it sucked, but it was true. That has really stuck with me.
Now, don't get me wrong, I know that fat people get married, fat people have sex, fat people date. I know all of that. While I can imagine a romantic scenario with a cute guy in fantasy, I have a hard time truly imagining it in reality.
About 4 years ago, I think I had a pretty good chance with a cute guy. We would email, talk on the phone and generally made excuses to see each other. It didn't work out and I started to gain weight. I didn't stop for 80 pounds. All the weight gain wasn't about him, for sure. But I have no doubt that it contributed to the start of it.
I know I feel better about myself now at 227 than I did at 285. No question about it. So, I do think that as I lose weight, I will continue to feel better about myself. I don't think when I am 185 that I will see myself in the mirror as if I am 285 or 225. Maybe the argument is that I should be happy with myself regardless of the number on the scale. But I don't think that is my reality. We'll see.
One thing I do know is that I haven't stuck with anything this long and I have officially lost more at one time than I ever have before. I WILL lose 120 pounds and I WILL feel good about my body.
I can't promise that losing the weight will net me a boyfriend. I know better than that. But if I feel good about myself, I know that will reflect and will at least allow for the possibility.
I will work on a happier post for tomorrow!!
This morning has been an interesting one for me. I have talked on my blog about how emotional I am and how I have been working on keeping things in perspective. I think in day to day activity, I'm doing a good job, but I still have a way to go.
Let me give you some history: I have been overweight all my life. I remember thinking I was fat as early as first and second grade. My nickmame in fourth grade was Buffalo Butt. Nice, huh? My first weightloss memory (real or manufactured...) was going to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom in fourth grade and weighing 144 lbs. I feel like I've been on a diet ever since.
I love my mom. In fact, there is no one on earth I love more than I love my mom. My mom was always "normal" sized, but was almost consistently on a diet while I was growing up. My mom grew up in a household where her father expected perfection from her. She & Dad truly strived not to be that way with my brother and me. They just wanted what was best for us.
They wanted me to be healthy and happy, so they helped me try and lose weight. They took me to Weight Watchers which helped when I was actually doing it. They took me to Nutri System in high school and after a week or two I was sneaking food on the side. They found out and were really mad at me. In retrospect, I understand that they spent a lot of money (that we didn't really have) to do this for me. At the time, I felt I let them down because I stayed fat.
I was a food hoarder. I would eat normally in front of people then binge when I was by myself. I remember when I was young (maybe third grade?) I dipped a big tablespoon of peanut butter in sugar and started eating it. I knew it wasn't good for me, but it was tasty! I was in the living room and I heard my parents coming so I hid it under a piece of furniture. They found it and yelled at me. I feel quite sure that they were yelling at me because it is disgusting and gross to leave food around and it would attract mice and pests (which we had issues with anyway in our pre-1900 house.) I just heard them yelling at me becaue I was a disgusting fat pig.
Every time my mom tells me I look thin or that I have lost weight, I soar! When my mom mentions that I look like I have gained weight (or she asks if I have gained weight), I get physically sick to my stomach. It has always been that way, but I'm just now starting to tell her when that happens. She thinks I'm being silly, and objectively, I probably am.
I talk to my mom every morning during my commute. Every morning, I cheerfully tell her how much weight I have lost. I'm typically up a little on Mondays, but not much. Yesterday, I knew I was going to eat popcorn and I told my mom. She gets a little hitch in her voice when she says "okay" that makes me feel guilty. I was up today and I kid you not when I tell you I was in the shower this morning rehearsing what I was going to tell my mom. Sigh. I'm 36 and sometimes I'm 12.
According to rehearsals, I was supposed to cheerily say that I was up a pound that I felt confident would be gone tomorrow. Instead, I told her that I don't share gains with her, only losses. She started laughing and said that I must have gained a lot because I tell her when it is a pound. (I want to step in a second and say that I truly do not believe that she was laughing AT me or trying to be insenstive. My mom loves me ridiculously so and would never intentionally hurt me under any circumstance.) My face and body started to get hot and I could feel myself tense up. I told her that it hurt me that she was laughing at my weight gain. She tried to explain that she laughs at herself all the time. I was so wrapped up in my anger that I almost hung up with her. Crazy! But I was able to change the subject and we moved on.
When I got to work, my friend Liz approached me and said that she messed up. I had set up a birthday party for my friend Cori and had invited Liz, but not another work friend. Liz had mentioned the party to our other friend and other friend was hurt. To be truthful, it really wasn't something that was done intentionally. Neither Liz nor other friend has ever been invited to Cori's birthday party, but right at the time I was doing the invitation, I think Liz was on her mind so she said to invite her. It certainly wasn't an act of meaning to NOT invite other friend. In my mind, other friend is in a bad place right now and she is interpreting everyone's actions as something AGAINST her when in reality, that's not the case. I was actually that way last year, before I got my life on track. I realized that NOTHING anybody else said or did truly made a difference to me inside. If I loved myself, everything else would work itself out.
That brings me back to my mom. I am so unbelievably fortunate to have my mom. I can't even list off all of the wonderful things she has done and continues to do for me. Nothing she does or says is meant to hurt me. If fact, I have no doubt that my mom would lay down her life for me. I have 35 years of demons to work through. I feel like I have gotten through a lot in 6 months, but it is still going to take some time to get through the rest. Occassionally, my feelings are going to get hurt through no fault of anyone's. But as long as I realize that I control the situation and it is I who decides my emotions, I will be able to move forward.
I have have nightmares on occassion of a 5th grade me on a bus where kids are chanting BUFFALO BUTT! I have dreams all the time where people make comments that I'm fat. It is my achilles heel. But I'm doing something about it! At 60 pounds lost, which I should hit sometime this week, I will be halfway to my goal. Take that Amber Melvin from 4th grade! Take that mean, mean Debbie on the school bus!
But most of all, TAKE THAT BETH! I am my own worst enemy, but this time is different. This time there is no self sabotage. This time there is no letting myself get caught up in the enormity (pardon the pun) of it all. This time, I'm not just losing weight...this time, I'm changing my life.
Mom, I thank God for you and dad everyday. I love you.
Hi all! It has been a super busy day at work today. Busy is good though since I hate being bored. Plus, I'm so ready for the weekend! I slept quite well last night so I'm not so tired today.
Tonight I'm going to Master Bruce. I will have to be careful not to aggravate my back, but I'm sure we can still work out a good work out.
Tomorrow is a busy day. I'm Jazzercise class managing at 9 AM, then having lunch with my godson. I have to grocery shop in the afternoon, then church at 5 PM with a pool party after. Whew!
Sunday, though. Sunday, blessed Sunday, will be lovely. My friend & I are taking another friend's 14 year old daughter to see Eclipse, but that is all that is planned. Sweet!
Monday I should be nice and refreshed! Have a WONDERFUL weekend, my friends!
Hi everyone! I have to say that I'm a little tired today. I went out with a LB support group friend last night and didn't get home until 11:30. That is late for me!! We met for dinner then went to see the musical Dreamgirls. We had a GREAT time! I feel so blessed to have met her.
But I had a hard time getting to sleep and (pardon my TMI) I am feeling constipated the last couple of days. That is unusual for me so I'm getting a little annoyed with it.
I think part of my problem is my lack of exercise this week. It will be a full week for me today without ANY kind of organized exercise. I feel sure that once I get back to it, my energy will take off. I have Jazzercise tonight, so that will be fun. I am supposed to go see Master Bruce tomorrow night which is fine, I guess. I have really gotten to the point I dislike him and don't want to go anymore which is too bad. I only have 4 more prepaid sessions I need to use and then I can focus on trying something else. Any ideas? I am trying to think of something fun to do probably once a week that would be a little different (to supplement the Jazzercise and running.)
Mostly, I'm just looking forward to a weekend at home! I loved going to Louisiana and Kansas, but I'm ready for a break.
Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!! :thumbup:
Yesterday, late in the day, I realized that it was the 6 month "anniversary" of the start of my LAP-BAND®® journey. My pre-op diet started on that day with me weighing in at 285 pounds. Prior to 2009, I had never weighed more than 255-260, so I was in a horrible place for me. Six months is not a long time at all, but looking back, it feels so much longer ago!
Last night, I went back and read my old blog entries from the beginning. I laughed because sometimes I can be so darn silly. I cried because I remembered how isolated and unhappy I was.
My favorite blog entry to read was the one I posted on 12.10.09 titled "Ailment Buster!" I had made the decision to have the surgery, but was still wondering if it was the "right" thing to do. I listed out all my issues and how losing weight (which I felt I couldn't do without surgery) would help those issues.
Here I am, 6 months later and 58 pounds lighter with an update.
Sleep - I had gotten so big that my CPAP was no longer working effectively. My friend & I went on vacation together and she said that it slipped off and made noises all night. I was tired all the time and it was clear there was a problem. Now, my CPAP is working! I'm less tired and I have more energy. I just went on a weekend trip with my friend and she said that she didn't hear a peep all night!
Acid Reflux - I was on 2 Nexium per day pre-surgery. TWO! I haven't taken any since my surgery and I have had no issues. I never imagined that it would have that much of an effect from day one.
Blood pressure & cholesterol - My blood pressure has been in the LOW normal range since the surgery. No issues!! I haven't had my cholesterol checked yet, but I'm sure that it will be good too!
Skin - I am proud to say that I can now reach every area of my body in order to clean it well. Ha! Yay! I have had hardly any breakouts since the surgery which comes from eating better, I'm sure. Also, I don't have as much of an issue with flab rolls causing rashes. Now I'm just trying to work on my stretch marks!
Feet - Through most of 2009 and the start of 2010, my feet ached constantly. I had to wear tennis shoes or crocs all the time. I still have issues with plantars fasciitis, but my feet don't ache all the time. I can wear cute shoes to work! Also, I've started jogging and as long as I don't over do it, my feet are able to handle it!
Knees - I have noticed hardly ANY issues with my knees. Maybe a little when jogging or Jazzercising hard, but nothing much. And I think even that will fade with more weightloss.
Energy - while I don't always have optimal energy, I sure do beat the pants off where I was. I go, go, go all the time!
Anxiety - I have had almost no anxiety issues since the surgery. I believe that most of my anxiety stemmed from being uncomfortable with myself and insecure. The better I look and the better I feel, the less I worry about EVERYTHING.
Comfort - The difference is astounding. Last weekend I went on vacation and I spent very little time checking on whether I was the fattest girl around. It still happened sometimes, but it used to consume me. I think I am back to a "normal" comfort level for me. I am eager to see just how comfortable I can get!!
WOW! Six months. Almost no time in the grand scheme of things. Many times I have expressed my frustration or impatience to you all and then used your strength to psych myself back up. Now here I am, back to "normal". Such a relief. I am so happy!
By Fall, I expect to be at my lowest weight as an adult. Then I will be headed into uncharted territory. It is so exciting! It feels SO far away, but 6 months have passed so quickly that I know it will be here before I know it.
I have worked hard, but I haven't worked so hard that I can't maintain this pace. This life is doable. I'm doing it and I'm going to keep doing it!!
I ended that blog with a quote, "The more you love yourself, the easier you are to love by those who love you." As I have become more comfortable with myself, the less focus I put on what others do. It is absolutely freeing! I do LOVE myself and I'm loving me more and more each day. I can tell that it has an effect on my friendships and other relationships. The good ones are getting stronger and the not-so-good ones are showing themselves and fading away.
Halfway there everyone! Can't wait to check the status of everything next January!!
I love my LapBand support group! We had our monthly meeting last night. I have made good friends with two of the ladies in the group. I email back and forth with one (Ann) most days. We are accountability partners and share tons of information and experiences. The other (Debi) and I text each other to share SVs and NSVs. We also do things together, like tomorrow night we are going to see Dreamgirls. These two friendships alone make Group worthwhile, but it is even much more than that. Hearing the questions and experiences of so many other people is invaluable to me. My friends and family are SOOO supportive, but no matter what happens, they can't understand it completely because they haven't done it. Our group has a lot of newly banded people, a few waiting to be banded and a few old timers. It is amazing to hear their words of wisdom!
Group night also means updated photos for me. I put all of the new ones in my albums, but this angle was particularly great for me. I have attached the "before" picture and then last night's "current" picture. What a difference!!
Hi everyone!!
I'm back from my weekend volleyball extravaganza getaway in Wichita! After two weekends out of town, it will be nice to get back into a routine.
Friday, after a Starbucks stop, we made our way from DFW to Wichita. I have to say that Oklahoma has some beautiful views. Our hotel was in Old Town Wichita which is a fun area with bars, shops and restaurants. Very nice! After relaxing a bit and freshening up, we had dinner at a Latin American restaurant. I had paella which probably wasn't the best choice, but I love the stuff! I couldn't eat the shrimp, squid or clams (too fibrous) so I gave those to my friend Cori. I ate the chicken, veggies and some rice. Surprisingly I just haven't had much issue with rice lately after having horrible times with it in the past. Weird.
After dinner it was time to head over to Wichita State University (home of the Shockers!) for a fun night of volleyball. We were there to watch the mens USA Volleyball team play the Russian team. We beat them 3-0 in a surprisingly exciting blowout! WSU has a strong volleyball team and there were a lot of fans in attendance. After the game, the guys lined up to sign autographs. I used that time to get up close and take some photos. Those guys make me feel much like a midget, but darn it if they aren't cute!!
After dinner we strolled around Old Town. We had a glass of wine and some hummus at a wine bar. It had a nice laid back atmosphere, but was more of a date place. We ended up at a more "bar" bar and sat at the bar nursing a glass of wine. We ended up making friends with the bartenders who gifted us with a free shot. After that, it was time to hit the sack.
I woke up about 2 hours later with HORRIBLE stomach cramps. Guess 2 1/2 glasses of wine and a shot isn't really "in moderation". Good to know for future reference.
Saturday morning, I woke (surprisingly) feeling pretty good. We went to a place called Eggs Cetra for breakfast. I usually can't eat at breakfast, but after some coffee I was able to eat a little bacon and eggs. Yum!
We spent the day walking around Old Town and driving around Wichita. It is a really nice place to visit! If the volleyball game is there next year, we definitely plan to go back. We HAD to stop at place called Nifty Nuts to get some honey roasted cashews and some dark chocolate covered graham crackers. :rolleyes2:
That night there was another volleyball game. This time the team wasn't so fired up and we lost 1-3. With that the USA is out of World League play for the year. Bummer! I have attached a couple of pictures of the players that I find adorable. As much as I already love volleyball, it sure doesn't help to have some eye candy. Ha! Also, during the breaks, the bench players worked out. BEST TIME OUT ENTERTAINMENT EVER!!
After the game, we went for a late dinner. I had grilled snapper and it was a little overcooked, but the light sauce was DELICIOUS! Since we ate late, we walked around for a while to make sure my food made it's way where it should before I went to bed. There was a HUGE car show going on so it wasn't hard to waste time checking it out. There was one super pimped out red caddy with unbelievable chrome trim and a fur dashboard. Awesome!!
After that, bedtime. We are just not night owls. The next morning as I was packing up the car, I pulled a muscle in my back. It is certainly not the worst I have ever done, but it made the drive back to DFW quite unpleasant. I'm not sure about you all, but when I am in pain (any kind) my band tends to tighten up. So, I couldn't eat breakfast or lunch. I'm guessing Cori was as eager to get back as I was considering I was probably not very good company!!
Once I got back home, I was able to eat so that helped. Today my back is still sore, so I will have to take a few days off exercise. I was telling my mom this morning that I can completely tell the difference in my life because since I'm not "on a diet", when I get thrown a curveball, it is so easy to get back to things. I'm just much more flexible than I ever was before. I owe SO much of that to the band.
This morning, I was down 3.4 pounds! What?? I guess I did walk around a lot this weekend. That means I passed another 5 pound mini-goal and have lost over 55 pounds. YAY!
Tonight is Support Group and I ALWAYS look forward to that. Tonight is also picture time, so I should have that updated tomorrow.
Have a great day y'all!!
That pound I lost during vacation seemed to find me this morning. But I don't care, because I feel GREAT!!
I'm not too concerned because I ate fine yesterday and I ran at lunch. I'm sure it is just a body fluctuation that happens from time to time.
Yesterday, I went SHOPPING. I was SUPPOSED to be getting a pair of jeans since I'm down to only one pair that fits well and a pair of dress pants. ALL of my dress pants are too big. My company switched to jeans when we downsized, but we have to dress business casual when investors come calling. We have one coming in today and I wasn't sure what I was going to wear.
I started at Lane Bryant. My plan was to get a size 1 Blue pair of Right Size jeans. Imagine my surprise when the sales girl told me they have switched sizing yet again. Sigh. So I grabbed pairs of 14s & 16s and headed for the dressing room. I tried the 14s first and they were too tight. Not just jeans tight, but ill-fitting tight. In retrospect, I think they might have been petites. I tried on the 16s and they were loosey goosey. Ugh.
So, I moved on to Ross. I was picking up all sorts of dresses (not on the list) and a couple of shirts (not on the list) and a pair of jeans (yay!). I LOVED the dresses. I tried on 6 and ended up buying 4 (!) of them. I also bought the size 16W (woohoo) jeans. On impulse, I bought a shirt. It is sleeveless though so I fear it is one I will never wear.
Next I went to TJ Maxx. As soon as I walked in I realized that I had never been there before. Who knew? Anyway, their selection of Womens sizes left a bit to be desired, so I quickly moved on.
Dress Barn was on the way back to my car, so I stopped. I picked up a few pairs of jeans to try from the Womens side. I moved to the Misses side and on a mannequin was a dress I had tried on while shopping in Florida with my mom a couple of months ago. At that time, I tried on the XL and although it "fit" my body, the words "stuffed" and "sausage" came to mind. I picked that up to try on as well.
ALL of the jeans I selected were too big. WHAT?? YAY!! I went out and got a 14W and they looked great! I tried on the dress and although it is still too tight to wear, it actually fit! It was 50% off so I bought it as my inspiration. I will wear that dress when I go visit my brother's family in Louisville Labor Day weekend!!! I ended up with the jeans, the dress, a short sleeve jacket type cover-up thing, & two pairs of capri leggings. I'm on a big kick of wearing dresses (a little shorter than I might normally wear) with leggings.
The jacket I'm wearing in one picture is my "skinny" jacket I bought several years ago. It doesn't quite look super buttoned up yet, but it looks good over the dress.
I'm feeling like one hot mama today! Ha! I still have a LONG way to go, but it is so nice to feel good along the way.
I'm looking foward to my Volleyball road trip this weekend. Maybe I will find a cute Wichatan. :smile2: Have a great weekend everyone!!
I missed you all while I was on vacation! I had a wonderful time.
We left at lunchtime on Thursday. The drive to my friend's small town Louisiana home is about 6 hours, so we made it in time for dinner. Her brother and his family met us at her parents' house and we all had some EXCELLENT smothered chicken. I was a little concerned about the rice since I have had some trouble with it, but with the Cajun gravy, it all went down fine.
Friday we went to New Orleans. I couldn't resist cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde, but I limited myself to one. I still don't understand why I can't eat bread, but the fried doughs, cakes and such all go down fine. Ha! We spent some time walking around the French Quarter. I was looking to buy a painting, but I didn't find anything that particularly caught my attention. We went to lunch at 1179 which is an Italian restaurant closer to the WWII museum. It was on the expensive side for lunch, but it was very good. After lunch we went to the WWII museum and I have to say that it exceeded every expectation. The movie is a MUST SEE. If you are ever in NOLA, you should visit and if you are a hard core war buff, you should make the trip. We left around 5 and made it back home in time for my friend's dad's Cajun Shrimp Stew. Oh my God. It was unbelievably delicious. If I haven't mentioned it yet, my friend's dad is an incredible Cajun cook. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to eat his food, but I could...just in moderation like a "normal" person.
Saturday we spent with my friend's brother's family. He has two little girls that are both adorable and exhausting! We went to a 4th of July celebration and watched fireworks. On Sunday, my friend's extended family gathered at her parents' house for a potluck lunch. Heavenly!! Her dad BBQ'd Boston butt (hee, I'm 12) and there was macaroni and cheese, eggplant/rice dressing, carrot casserole (which tasted like the best sweet potato casserole ever!) and baked beans. I had a little of everything and I was satisfied with one trip. I did have a couple pieces of PB fudge for dessert. :frown:
Monday was our annual casino trip. I was down almost $100 bucks in 3 hours!! Yikes!!! But I made an incredible comeback in the last 45 minutes and made it out only down $40. Whew!
We came back to town yesterday. We are working today and tomorrow, then leaving for Wichita Friday. We are going to see the Mens USA Volleyball team compete in World Cup pool play. We are big fans!
I'm happy to say that while I was on vacation, with NO exercise whatsoever, I'm down almost a pound. Woo hoo! I plan to jog during lunch today and go to Jazzercise tomorrow night. That's about all I'm going to get this week. But I figured it will at least keep me a little more prepared when I get back to normal next week.
A fun NSV: neither my friend nor I usually fit into "normal" size bracelets. They are usually too big for her and too small for me. She got one from her aunt for Christmas and she gave it to me because it was too big for her. It didn't fit me, but I held on to it. I'm wearing it today. YAY!!
I forgot to measure Wednesday night. That's not like me to forget a checkpoint.
Drum roll, please...
I lost 13 inches total this month! I measure each upper arm and wrist, neck, bust, waist, belly, hips, and each thigh and calf (13 spots in total). That is the 2nd most yet!! I lost 3.5 inches from my waist and 3.75 inches from my belly just this month. Other big losers were my hips (1.5") and my right thigh (??!!?) (1.25").
My biggest loser thusfar...I have lost 9.5 inches from my waist since mid-January. Whoa! Total inches lost from the beginning...53.25". Wow.
Just in the last week or so, I moved to my Lane Bryant size 1 jeans since the 2's were getting a little baggy. I'm not joking when I say that these are not going to make it very long. I have only 3 pairs of jeans that currently fit and no other pants. I think I will absolutely have to go shopping for real in 30-60 days. YAY!!
I told you all about the fabulous book I'm reading...The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. This chick is AWESOME!! I have some more "me" quotes for you:
Quote #1: "All this cold hard data is strangely comforting. If I don't like my weigh-in result, I can manipulate the data and spit out a statistic that will make me feel better."
Quote #2: "This whole love-hate relationship with my body is exhausting. How do you tame that negative voice? How do you learn to like yourself? I'd settle for mere tolerance, just enough to make me believe I'm worth all this effort. But I can't run away this time, I'll go back to the class next week. I'll keep on going and I'll get better at it. These days, I'm not the kind of girl who gives up.
Quote #3: "Some days I'm positive and proud to have come this far. But some days my confidence and resolve feel flimsier than those string bikinis, ready to come undone at the slightest hint of a breeze.
Did I mention that I LOVE this book??
Sorry for the horn tootin', but I was just so darn happy! I'm off to Louisiana, so I will talk to you all next Wednesday!!
It is hard to believe that another month has gone by. It is interesting because I struggled a bit this month and felt like I was at a plateau. However, I lost 7.4 lbs this month which is around (albeit the low side) of what I tend to lose monthly. So, no plateau. I was very happy that I hit the 50 pound mark this month!
I read a book last week called Thin is the New Happy. Although the author didn't have the exact same issues I do, reading about how someone overcame similar struggles is interesting to me. So I bought a few more books in the same genre. Now I'm reading The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. I haven't gotten that far, but so far, it is great!
She isn't a LAP-BAND® patient. She is dieting...but some of the thoughts are the same. Plus, haven't we ALL been through times like this???
Quote #1: "...I worried that it just wouldn't work. I've been fat for so many years-what if my body isn't capable of shrinking? What if the blubber plain refuses to budge? What if my fat cells have mutated into a strain of super evil fat cells that laugh in the face of celery sticks and lean protein? What will I do then? Hack at my belly rolls with a chain saw?"
Quote #2: "I'm getting obsessed with points. It's not enough just to count my own, now I'm snooping at my colleagues' lunches and mentally calculating the damage. At the supermarket yesterday i was peeking in people's shopping trolleys and crunching their numbers."
Oh Lordy, I was SO that way. In fact, I still have thoughts about the first quote. I've only been below 200 lbs once in my adult life. Can I even weigh 185? Or 165 like my nutritionist thinks? Or , 145 like my surgeon predicts?? I can't imagine that, so it is hard to have the faith that it can happen.
One thing I do know is that I am starting to have a more normal (or healthy anyway) relationship with food. I went out to dinner with some friends and I had the Lobster Ravioli, in fact I split it with one of my friends. I would have NEVER ordered that because it is so rich and high in calories. All my life, I have either been on a diet or totally not dieting. But when I was off the wagon, I tended to hide my hoarding. If no one saw it, it didn't really happen, right? But now, when I'm out for something special, I order what I want. I just don't eat much. At my dinner, I had 2 1/2 raviolis and 1/2 bowl of soup. It was absolutely DELICIOUS! But the best part was that it was SATISFYING!!
Not sure if I will get another post done before I leave on vacation tomorrow. So, I hope you all have a WONDERFUL holiday!!
Today I'm laughing at myself a little. As many of you know I tend to have surges and slumps. I get into a zone and I do SO WELL, then one little thing happens and I'm in a slump. I tend to use my blog to psych myself up. Honestly, it works quite well most of the time. Getting feedback from you all out there usually gives me the edge I need to meet whatever goal I'm working on at the time.
Yesterday, was no different. Feeling slumpy, I blogged and set a goal for myself. It wasn't ridiculous, just working out really well the next three days. Last night I went to Jazzercise and 5 songs in, hurt the everloving crap out of my foot. I often get plantar faciitis and it has been flaring up a little over the last few weeks. I had been doing so well with my exercise that I just wanted to ignore it. I guess I can't ignore it anymore.
So, the new and improved, flexible me is setting a NEW goal for the week. (Look at me being all "adjusty" and "easy-going".)
One thing that I have realized is that I tend to rely on exercise to help me lose weight. Don't get me wrong, the Band is helping me eat LESS, but I don't often make the best choices in what I DO eat. I have chosen to look at it as eating like a normal person (whatever the heck that is.) But, now that I can't rely on exercise (at least for a week), I need to focus on my food.
My mom sounded a little skeptical when I was running this by her this morning during our daily talk. She has been by my side my entire life dieting and not dieting. She knows how much I HATE to diet. Well, I'm not going to DIET. I'm going to make better choices. Instead of eating chicken fingers for lunch, I will have a grilled chicken salad. Instead of eating calorie loaded ice cream and candy after dinner, I will allow myself one square of dark chocolate IF I NEED IT. I will cut the mid afternoon snack(s) I usually have after or before working out since I won't need them for the extra energy.
Since I started my EXERCISE JUMPSTART a few months ago, I have spent most of my energy focusing on exercise. Now for my foot's sake, I need to rest it. (Sidenote: it couldn't come at a better time. I'm giving up working out today and tomorrow, but Thursday I'm leaving for vacation and mostly likely wouldn't have worked out through Tuesday anyway. So, by giving up these two days, I get a week of rest for my foot.) By taking this time to focus on my food, I'm hoping to get myself into as much of a routine with my "diet" (meaning food intake, not DIET diet) as I am with my exercise. So, my goal is to lose a pound in one week with no exercise. Seeing as people lose WAY more than that with no exercise all the time, that should be a very reasonable expectation.
Wish me luck, y'all! I feel strongly that I can do this. BUT I feel much more out of control not being able to rely/depend on exercise to erase my bad food choices. [Deep breath.] Here I go!!
It has been an interesting week. One in which I have learned a bit about myself. Last Monday I began to get sick. I really pushed myself to get through it. I worked out on Monday and twice on Tuesday and ate well. I lost over a pound in those two days. By Tuesday night, I just couldn't deny that I was sick.
Wednesday I went to the doctor and took it easy. Thursday I worked out but didn't push too hard. I also did not make good eating choices. In those two days, I found my lost pound.
By the weekend, I felt myself making excuses. I've been sick, so I should take it easy. I've had a rough week, so a treat is in order. I haven't slept well, so I should sleep in instead of working out. On and on it went through the weekend. Monday (today) is my official weigh in day and I lost 8 tenths of a pound for the week. Don't get me wrong. I will take a loss regardless of the size. But in my heart, I know that I wasn't working at it. A pound when you are working hard is a huge victory...a pound when you are making bad choices is not. (for me.)
If I were the old, unbanded me, today would be the day I would quit. I mean I have lost 50 pounds. I fit GREAT in my clothes. I'm at a "normal" weight for myself as an adult. I can tell that if I were the old me, I would start my climb back into non-diet mode.
Fortunately for me, I'm no longer on a diet! I have changed my life. Therefore, it is much easier for me to say "ENOUGH!" It is much easier to stop this nonsense and get myself back on track. I couldn't help getting sick and causing a pause in my routine. But I CAN help how I react to it.
My goal is to eat "right" (and I know what that means for me) and work out three hours during the next three days. If I do that, I know myself well enough to know that will be enough to get me going in the right direction and the rest will come.
I'm leaving for vacation on Thursday and return on Tuesday. Then I leave again on Friday and return on Sunday. I actually do well on vacation so I'm not worried about that at all. My issues are squarely on me when I'm at home by myself. It is time to make myself busy again.
Thank you Band for helping me to be strong and take control of my life! I will always have hurdles, but you have helped me be able to jump them instead of letting them stop me!
Last I spoke to you all I was battling a sinus/ear infection. Tuesday night I decided to go to my session with Master Bruce (my trainer) anyway. That was probably a mistake. I felt better short term, but by the time I went to bed I had a full on fever. I went to the doctor Wednesday, was diagnosed with an infection and got some antibiotics. By bedtime I was starting to feel myself. Yesterday, I felt better but work was crazy since I had stayed home the day before. That's why I always hate to call in sick! :smile:
I was disappointed when I weighed this morning because I was up to the weight I started the week. I had lost some earlier in the week, but I was tight while I was sick. And the high calorie liquids I was drinking during the height of it didn't help. Oh well, my goal of losing 2.8 pounds this week isn't going to happen. But I will keep a bit of the goal and see if I can lose a little something...anything...just something lower than last week. I will be happy with that.
I'm not working out today and I'm going out to eat for two meals. I will have to be careful. For lunch we are having Mexican. I usually do okay there if I stay away from the tortilla chips. Goal step #1: no tortilla chips. If I eat the protein portion of my meal supplemented with some salsa, I will be good to go. I don't know where we are going tonight, but I'm sure I can steer it to something healthy...maybe in the seafood family.
After dinner tonight, we are going to Painting with a Twist. It is BYOB and they teach you to paint a picture. I'm not very artistic, so this should be interesting. I will post a picture of my picture next week. :tongue2:
Have a wonderful weekend!!
It seems like there is something EVERY SINGLE DAY that I could use to get me off track. In yesterday's blog I mentioned the stuck episode. Yuck! Now today I have a sinus/ear infection. Bleh! It isn't horrible, but it is starting to suck the lively out of me. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning so I figure if I can hang on until then I will be better or will get something to get me on the road to being better!
On the positive side of allergy issues...I'm not very hungry and the drainage makes me tight so I lost 8 tenths of a pound yesterday. Ha! It's probably water weight, but I will take it today!! :thumbup:
I hope you all have a wonderful day and I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow!
When I'm asked how often I get "stuck", I usually respond 1-2 times per week. When I eat, sometimes I can feel that things aren't going down correctly and I stop. Sometimes it is at the end of the meal and sometimes it is after only a few bites. Typically it passes quickly and I've never had a situation where it wasn't corrected before the next meal. It is uncomfortable and annoying, but not painful or concerning in any way.
Which brings me to Saturday... I woke up in the morning and went to Jazzercise. After class I went and got some coffee and a smoothie. As I drank both, I noticed that I seemed a little tighter than normal, but both went down fine.
For lunch, I drove through Raising Canes (I had never been there before) and got some chicken fingers. I actually have chicken fingers/nuggest/strips at least once a week. It is a standby that typically works for me. After just a few bites, I knew that I couldn't go any further. No worries. I threw the rest away and went about my day.
We went to see The A Team in the afternoon. I had thought I would get some popcorn, but I didn't feel exactly right after the botched chicken fingers so I abstained. Before the movie began I started to get HORRIBLE acid reflux. It wasn't painful per se, but it was intense! I started to panic just slightly and in my head went through the reasons I might have reflux. Of course the first thing I thought was that my band slipped. Yikes! For a few minutes I pondered what I would do if I had to redo the surgery and worst case scenarios. Heh. Then the reflux was right in the very back of my throat...almost immediately it moved down my throat and lower into my chest. It FINALLY occured to me that I had something REALLY stuck and it was trying to make its way out one way or another.
At that point I went to the restroom to see if I could help it. No dice. I sat through the rest of the movie (I actually enjoyed it!) as it moved up and down, up and down. After the movie, we went to dinner. I ordered some chili knowing I wouldn't eat any, but thinking I could take it home. On the way home, I stopped and got some OJ. I had heard that it helps. I drank some sips of it and waited but that didn't help. I chugged some and other than PBing that...nothing. So, I waited a little while longer and had some ice cream. (Man it sounds like I eat like crap, doesn't it?) The ice cream stayed down so that gave me some calm knowing that I could get down protein shakes and some nutrition.
I went to bed with some awful reflux. I don't have a recliner, so I just went to bed. It was very uncomfortable but I managed to get to sleep around 11 PM. I woke up about 12:30 with some pain in my shoulder that moved into my side. I had heard my Support Group leader talk about referred pain and assumed that's what it was. Around 3 AM I woke up to the most god-awful gurgling in my stomach. It took about an hour to calm down and I fell back to sleep.
I woke up and my tummy hurt quite a bit. I didn't want to take a chance eating anything before church. I hadn't thought about communion, but I never seem to have an issue with it and this time was no different. After church we went to breakfast and I had an egg over medium. It went down fine. I realized that I was sore from the trauma, but I was FREE! :smile2:
I ate soft and soggy food throughout the day (i.e. the chili with no meat, then crockpot chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner.) I feel back to normal today!
I have to say that situation was most unenjoyable!! I don't think I did anything out of the ordinary, so my guess is that it will happen again someday. At least I know that it can happen and then get better.
On another note, for some reason, I want to set a weight goal for this month. I want to lose 2.8 pounds by the end of the month. It is absolutely doable, but a little more than I usually lose. I thought if I documented my goal, I might make some good choices that will help me hit it! I will keep you posted.
Have a GREAT week everyone!
I weigh every morning which some say is a no-no. It is a motivating tool with me. If I'm up, I commit to working harder. If I'm down, I get excited and I'm ready to do more. I guess I just need a lot of feedback.
In the past, that has only worked for a little while. Because although when I am up, I get motivated to work harder...that only works when you go down most of the time. That's why things are going so well now. I don't mind working out 4, 5 or even 6 hours a week because I'm seeing results. (Interesting side note: I always thought I worked out 4-6 hours a week, but when I started actually tracking it, I wasn't. I've found that writing it down makes me accountable and more likely to actually work out more.)
If I woke up most mornings weighing the same or more, I don't think I would have the motivation to continue. Although I'm up, down and all over the place each day, I am consistantly moving down the scale overall.
Which (finally) gets me to my point. Tuesday I had a 30 minute work out, but I totally splurged at dinner with friends...not horribly mind you, but definitely more than normal. Wednesday I was at the same weight as Tuesday. Makes sense. Wednesday I worked out for 90 minutes total in two sessions and ate well. On Thursday, I was down 8 tenths. YAY! But still makes some sense. Yesterday, I did a Jazzercise class, but during the day I ate a brownie, a serving of Chocolate PB Hagendaas ice cream, & two Ghiradelli chocolate/caramel squares. DUDE. That was ridiculous! Today I'm down 4 tenths. WHAT?? Now, I know enough not to take that at face value, but ha!! It is my goal today to eat well enough and work out hard so that 4 tenths doesn't pop up tomorrow!
The challenge is on! By the way, my size 2 Lane Bryant jeans are getting baggy in the booty. Should be into the size 1s soon! After that...regular store jeans! Woohoo!!
After I managed to extricate myself from my wallowing yesterday, I started thinking about how blessed I am to have the support system I have. I am one to push myself, but for me, support is critical.
First and foremost, my mom is my rock. She has been supportive (almost PUSHING me! ha!) from the very first moment. No hesitation whatsoever. We talk during my commute each morning and I'm estimating that on average 60% of our daily conversations are about my "journey". Today for instance, it was 95%. She and my dad are hands down my biggest fan/supporters and I love them dearly.
My best friend is not a nurturing type person (by her own admission) and listening to me talk about the surgery or my weightloss endeavors in general isn't her favorite thing. But she is always a trooper and I KNOW that she supports me in a happy life 100%. She is like a sister that doesn't fully understand my issues, but just wants whatever is best for me.
I have two exercise accountability partners. One is my godmother who works out with me on Tuesdays. We chat while we work out and use it as time to catch up. She was the first person other than my parents that I told of my LB plans. She has also been supportive from the first moment and likes to hear about the ins and outs that I learn along the way. I have another friend that I work out with on Wednesdays. She is a RUNNER...as in she ran the Boston marathon. With her, we put on our iPods and get to working out. Since we are at such different paces, it works out well. She is interested in all things healthy, so we often swap ideas about foods.
All three of these friends work with me. In addition to them, I have several other people that ask me about how things are going and never cease to give me compliments. In fact, one of our partners (who I barely know) gave me a gift card yesterday because he knew I hit the 50 pound mark. He had LB several years ago and although we have never discussed it directly, I can tell he is paying attention. He compliments me a lot and the support is just incredible.
Then I have LBT & my support group. I blog here several times a week and the feedback I get from you guys is so powerful! I can't believe how eager I am to check if anyone has responded to my blog, or a picture, or if they have posted a visitor message. I have befriended two ladies in my support group and we clicked right away. One carries on an email conversation with me everyday. We compare food choices and other things. The other texts me sporadically to ask me what's going on or to update me on something with her. It is amazing how close we have gotten in a short amount of time.
All of this and I didn't even get into my extended family (who I saw recently at my grandmother's funeral) or my close group of friends. ALL of them support me. i had one slight hiccup at the very beginning with one friend but we straightened it out quickly.
I write all of this to remind myself how lucky and blessed I am. I read stories on here how people are treated badly or have saboteurs in their lives. I know folks who have told nobody or only one person and don't have anyone to share their experiences with. I honestly can't imagine that. I competely respect everyone's choices on whether they tell, don't tell, or tell sparingly. Everyone is different and has different circumstances and needs. So, in my opinion, no one is WRONG in how they choose to handle it.
Today is a day that I see how wonderful life is! For those of you that are contemplating LB...I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that my life is SO different from six months ago in the best possible way!
I've been working hard for the last year and especially the last six months to stop making things "all about me." Meaning, I would not analyze what so-and-so meant by saying "blah blah" because most likely, it had nothing to do with me. I used to be very defensive and analyzed EVERYTHING! I've been working to change that about myself. Mainly because I found that when I was sad or upset, I turned to food. If I could stop getting sad or upset about things...turning to food wouldn't be an issue.
Today I feel myself wallowing in that old pattern. Just now I started to write down the 2 or 3 things I'm obsessing over and they looked SO silly in writing that I deleted them.
I'm glad I have this forum to write out my thoughts so I can just let them go. Everyone has bad days, but I want to focus my life in a way that creates more good days than bad.
My life is blessed and so happy! Just because not everyone does exactly what I want to do when I want to do it...
Tonight is my first night back (in 4 weeks) with my personal trainer. I better get it all out by then or he will beat the whiny out of me!!
Have a good one!
For those of you that read my blogs, you know that when I started my exercise "jumpstart" a few months ago, I had to completely psych myself up for it. Every day I focused on the challenge I had made for myself and "winning".
I started exercising somewhat regularly about 6 or 7 years ago when I joined Jazzercise. I would go sporadically, sometimes 6 or 7 times a week and other times not at all. It was the first time I remotely enjoyed exercise since the days of intermural sports in school. Jazzercise helped me keep somewhat on track until I just lost it in January 2009. I still Jazzercised, but I was not watching my food intake at all. Well, I was watching, but I wasn't doing anything about it! I gained 30 pounds in 2009. By the time December 2009 came around, I weighed 285 pounds (from a "normal" or 225-255). My feet hurt so bad that I wore Crocs to work every day. My knees and other joints would hurt when I worked out. So, I didn't work out in December or January. I just couldn't. I had my surgery on 1/27 and by the end of February, I was ready to start moving.
Once I started exercising in earnest (Jazzercise, Personal Trainer, elliptical at lunch), I started feeling much better. As the weight came off, my feet didn't feel quite as bad and the other aches and pains started to subside. I noticed that about one month in, I stopped "making" myself go exercise. At that point, I wanted to go. There were a lot of times, that I could've talked myself out of it, but I KNEW that I would feel better when it was over.
About a month ago, I decided to start jogging. I thought it would be fun to make a goal of jogging a 5k. Let me make sure you understand...while I had started to feel better exercising, I hate to run. I HATE TO RUN! I don't understand the point of it, it is boring and I can't do it. A month ago, I said something to that effect to my sister-in-law and she responded in a way that said I was proving that I could do a lot of things I didn't like and that I thought I couldn't do. The challenge was on!
I started with a mile a month ago and yesterday I went 1.71 miles. It occurred to me last night on the way home from Support Group, that I am craving it. WHAT?? When the heck did that happen? I realized last night that I had no plans to work out today. I have two work outs scheduled on Wednesday, but not for today. I kind of panicked. Then I was confused. Ha!
I guess it is a new phase. I'm not sure how long it will last, but I'm grabbing on with both hands!
Funny hazard of working out: I was jogging on my home treadmill. I don't have a small MP3 player, just my bulky iPod Classic. When I'm running outside, I carry it in my hand, but when I'm on a treadmill, I put it in the cup holder or on the tray. I was going along and a song came on that I like. I threw my hands in the air (not sure if I was dancing or just excited...heh) and my iPod flew off the tray and down to my feet. I promptly stepped on it and jumped up because I didn't want to break it. I knew that was a bad idea as I started to come down on the (still moving) treadmill and flew off of it and into the desk set up behind it in my office. As I sat there, I thought that "death by treadmill" was just kind of sad and wondered how long it would take my friends to find me. Fortunately, I was totally fine but a little embarrassed. A few days later, I was jogging at the gym and had another iPod flying incident. This time I let it go and calmly got off the treadmill, picked up my iPod and got moving. The next day I smartly invested in a tiny iPod Shuffle. I guess I finally learn!! :tt1:
Have a great day everyone!
So now that I have lost my first 50 pounds, I feel like myself again. I have been overweight all my life and well over 200 pounds my entire adult life. At 235, I weigh about 20 pounds less than I did when I graduated from college. I would say that the bulk of my adult life was spent weighing 225-255 lbs. Sometimes I would get a little lower and sometimes I would get higher, but that was my "normal range".
So right now, I look and feel like "me." As I lose these next 50 pounds, I will be making the journey to my high school graduation weight. This is an exciting time because anything more than 10 pounds and I will be "skinny" me. I got down to 200 pounds twice in my adult life but didn't stay there long. It will be such a pleasure to get there this time knowing that I'm going to blow right on past it! It is hard to believe that I am 5 months into a new lifestyle and I'm going strong! I would have never lasted 5 months on a "diet".
I have attached a head shot and a full body shot from the very beginning (mid-January) and from today. I'm so pleased!
Today I restart my exercise focus. This week my plan is to see my personal trainer twice, Jazzercise twice and do the treadmill work at least twice.
I have a support group meeting tonight and they always get me fired up! I have a couple of friends that I met through Group and I always look forward to seeing them.
Have a good week all!
I don't usually post on the weekends, but I had to today. My scale read 234.2! That means I am down 50.8 pounds. YAY!!!
I am so very excited. 50 pounds in 150 days!! I realize that I have a way to go, but this is such a big goal. I just have to stop and take a moment.
Have a great weekend!
