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About this blog

My daily thoughts.

Entries in this blog

 

My Beautiful Cousin

I had an interesting and meaningful experience this morning. It is a little outside my normal blog feel, so I’m posting separately. But it meant a lot to me and I wanted to share.   As a child, I looked up to my older cousin Tammy. In a big family, she was the oldest girl and hung out with all the older boys. There were 13 of us cousins and growing up we spent a lot of time together on my grandparent’s farm. We were so blessed to have that time together. I remember idolizing Tammy when I was in elementary school…she was probably in high school around that time. I thought she was so beautiful. I caught the bouquet at her wedding to handsome Mike. She was radiant that day.   Several years later, Tammy was attacked at her job. I was somewhat young and wasn’t privy to the details, but I know it wasn’t good. From that point on, she was never able to pull out of the spiral that began. She was in unsuccessful therapy, on too many pills and lived with her enabling mother. She lost her husband, her job, her friends, and her happiness. She was terribly obese. At our family get-togethers, she would eat and eat and eat. It was devastating to watch. I understand now that Tammy always had an eating problem…just like everyone else in my family, including me. I honestly believe it is hereditary. We all have weight issues, although some have a better handle on it than others. She had just gotten to the point where she couldn’t or didn’t want (or didn’t have the energy) to control it. Several years ago, Tammy passed away in her sleep. I’m not sure if they every actually figured out the true cause. But in my heart, Tammy just gave up on life.   This morning, I was dreaming about Tammy. I was having a conversation with her and her two sisters (sisters that do not exist in reality and I’m not sure what/who they symbolize). I don’t really remember that conversation, but I do know that it was a positive and happy one. Still in the dream, I called my mom. I told her about the conversation and although she didn’t mention the sisters she did remind me that Tammy had died so it couldn’t have been her. I told her that I forgot Tammy had died, but I KNEW it was her. Of that I was sure. The conversation ended.   Still in the dream, I was standing at a bathroom mirror. I laid my hands flat on the counter and bowed my head. I said to Tammy that I know it was you and I know you are here with me now. I asked her to give me a sign that she was with me. I looked up into the mirror with my hands firmly on the counter. My reflection was there pointing straight at me. It startled me, but then my body became warm and I started to wake up. Before I completely let go, I told her that “I knew it.”   Whether I believe that Tammy’s spirit was truly with me or whether I believe it was simply a dream is irrelevant. I know that Tammy would be behind me and appreciate what I am doing to change my life. It also helps reaffirm what I am fighting for. Although I am not Tammy, I do think that we share many similarities. I could very easily follow her path. But I’m choosing something different. I’m forging my own way and I WILL be successful. I love you Tammy and I promise that you will always be in my heart.   Beth
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Everyone has bad days.

I've been working hard for the last year and especially the last six months to stop making things "all about me." Meaning, I would not analyze what so-and-so meant by saying "blah blah" because most likely, it had nothing to do with me. I used to be very defensive and analyzed EVERYTHING! I've been working to change that about myself. Mainly because I found that when I was sad or upset, I turned to food. If I could stop getting sad or upset about things...turning to food wouldn't be an issue.   Today I feel myself wallowing in that old pattern. Just now I started to write down the 2 or 3 things I'm obsessing over and they looked SO silly in writing that I deleted them.   I'm glad I have this forum to write out my thoughts so I can just let them go. Everyone has bad days, but I want to focus my life in a way that creates more good days than bad.   My life is blessed and so happy! Just because not everyone does exactly what I want to do when I want to do it...   Tonight is my first night back (in 4 weeks) with my personal trainer. I better get it all out by then or he will beat the whiny out of me!!   Have a good one!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Day #10 - Liquid Diet

I had an interesting coversation with a friend the other day. She was the first person other than my mom that I told about my decision to have LB and she is very supportive. I was reminiscing about days long ago when I was smaller and I said something about having no idea what I would look like at 180 because i have never weighed that as an adult. Her eyes got wide and she said that she didn't think I looked 180 now. Ha! I'm currently 280. I love my friend, but I'm quite sure I don't look 180. She said that she thinks her husband is lying to her about how much he weighs since it isn't as much as me. I told her that he probably wasn't as I weigh more than most men I know including my dad (who is NOT a small man.)   That got me to thinking about my body type. I have been so fortunate in my life to always look like I weigh much less than I do. My weight is very evenly distributed over my body and I've always (well, until very recently) had a shape. The last area to really gain is my midsection. As I've gained this year into weights I have never been before, I have developed fat areas that I've never had. I now have a large belly and the dreaded intertube.   I have lost about 10 pounds on my liquid diet and I can tell a difference in my midsection. Although this area is smaller, I think I can tell that it is never going to be the same. Although I feel sure it would have only gotten worse, I am a little sad that I didn't start this process earlier.   Oh well, what's done is done. I'm quite sure that once I get to 180, I won't be disappointed!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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November begins

November is off with a bang! Last night was my standard Jazzercise and it felt good. We did a lot of jumping which my feet grumbled about, but I was able to do most all of it! We did a move called a reverse plank where you are sitting with your feet straight out and you lift your body off the floor using your arms. That wasn't so bad. But then we had to take turns raising each leg in the air...that was hard! And I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to do it 50 pounds ago, much less 75!   Last night I sadly watched the Texas Rangers finish their spectalcular season. They were SO fun to watch and they truly made a fan of me. Once the game was over, I switched to MNF to watch my beloved Colts. It was nice to have a win to offset some of the World Series sadness. :-) Thank goodness I'm not a Cowboys fan!!! HAHA!   This morning I got up extra early and went for a 1.75 mile run. It is still really hard, but I feel better when it is done. I got ready and went to vote.   Cori & I usually ride together on election days, but we have different schedules today so I headed to the polling place alone this morning. Once I got there to check in, my name wasn't on the list. As they were calling it in, Cori walked in and she wasn't on the list either. Luckily, Cori had her voting card and it turns out that our precinct moved. Excellent! So off to the next polling place. I did my civic duty and STILL made it to work early.   Happy Election Day! If nothing else, all the negative ads will be behind us for a few months.
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Productive weekend.

Weekends sure do seem to fly by, don't they? Friday was such a great day. Work was busy until around 3:00, then we all took out our new iPads and played. We showed each other which apps we had purchased and "ichatted". Ha! We are spoiled.   After work, I went home and freshened up, then Cori & I went to Ft. Worth. She had a gift card to PF Changs from her birthday. We did the meal for two which was a ridiculous amount of food for the two of us. I ate about 1/2 my hot and sour soup cup, 1 chicken lettuce wrap, then about 7 small pieces of chicken/shrimp from the two entrees. I did manage to have a few bites of dessert too. :scared2: Then we headed to the Bowling for Soup concert which was super fun. I LOVE them!!   We didn't get home until almost 2am, so I slept in instead of going to Jazzercise. In fact, except for a Tupperware party at 2pm and church at 6pm, I lazed around most of the day.   Sunday was a different story. While I didn't get up until 9:30, I was busy after that. I met some friends for breakfast. I LOVE EGGS! I went to the grocery store then came home and attacked both my laundry and the spare bedroom. I worked for about 4 hours around the house and really burned some calories! I completely finished my laundry and the spare room is about 90% ready for visitors.   I spent the evening catching up on the last season of WEEDS. That is such a crazy, but awesome show. Next thing I knew, it was time for bed and a new week!   Tomorrow is the end of the month and time for my monthly weigh in. Stay tuned. :sleep:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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I've got a date!

Surgery date, that is! I have my pre-op and dietician consult on Tuesday, January 12th. That is when I start my pre-op diet. {cringe}   The big day is Wednesday, January 27th. That is 68 days away! With Thanksgiving and Christmas in there, time is going to fly by.   I'm quite excited! Now that everything is scheduled, it is truly time to just wait. I feel so relaxed, confident and completely satisfied with my decision. I know I will get nervous a few times between now and then, but I am ready.   My parents and 3 friends know right now. A couple remain supportive but skeptical. That's okay, because I plan to "show", not "tell." My plan is to actively blog, attend my support groups and do exactly what my doctor tells me to do.   And so it begins...!!
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Think "I AM a RUNNER!"

Busy day ahead, so I don't have time for much. But I wanted to check in and ask for everyone to wish me luck on my 5K tomorrow! Although I have practiced a bit more, I'm still not ready to run 3.1 miles. Ha!   But it will be fun since I'm doing it with a dear friend. I picked up my packet yesterday, so I'm ready to go!!   I have a little bit of Halloween spirit today. I'm wearing a Rangers shirt (they are going to do SO much better at home) with some little devil horns (since I'm an ANGRY Ranger). I need to go by Target tonight because I need some Halloween socks and a long sleeved Tshirt to wear to the run. It's getting COLD in the mornings!!   Have a super weekend everyone!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Day #2 - Healing

Hi everyone! I am officially a bandster. Woo hoo!!   Mom flew in the night before and we briefly chatted and got ready for bed. I was really tired, but once I was in bed I was quite anxious so I took my $13 Valium. Next thing I knew it was morning.   We had to be at the surgery center at 6:45 so we were up and at it bright and early. We happened to walk in with my surgeon so I felt that was a good sign somehow. I was slated to go second for the day and I filled out my paperwork. They took the first girl back and it seemed just a few minutes later that they called me back. The nurses were super sweet as they prepped me. I had to give a urine sample before I had the surgery but I had to wait until the first girl was out of the bathroom. That took about 20 minutes, I think. Poor girl could never go so they brought her out to give her fluids and bumped me up a spot. Woo hoo!   I talked to the surgeon a bit. He's a feisty one. But I like that. I remember meeting the anesthesiologist (CA-UTE!) but nothing much after that. Next thing I knew I was in recovery. The nurse said that I did so great during my preop diet that my liver looked fantastic and the normally 45 minutes surgery took only 20! That made it all worth it.   I felt like I had been hit by a truck, but I was also feeling optimistic. I had to sit in post op for about an hour and I started to feel a bit better. As I was about ready to go the girl that got bumped came out of surgery and she was not having an easy time of it. I felt bad for her but it made me realize how well I was doing.   That was it and I was ready to go home. Mom drove me and I realized it was only 9:15. Wow. I was home three hours from the time I left in the morning. Crazy!   The day was long. I wasn't sleepy at all so a nap was out of the question. My mom kept me company and we watched mindless TV all day. I would move back and forth from the TV to the couch throughout the day. One thing I noticed is that I could lay on my side almost immediately. That surprised me, I took pain medication every four hours regardless of how I felt. I think that helped a lot. I also took a lot of GasX. It didn't seem to do much until late in the evening when I started to feel things moving in my tummy. I have been farting like a trucker ever since.   My throat hurt worse than I expected it to, my incisions hurt less than I expected to and my gas hurt about like I expected.   My friends at work sent me flowers which was super sweet. And I had a lot of friends and family members sending me good thoughts and messages.   I went to bed around 10 PM. I was able to cuddle a body pillow and sleep on my side. I slept quite well until 4:30 when I got up and took more pain medication. I went back to sleep and woke up around 8:00 to a text from my friend. (Side note: she recently had a break in, but is trying to hook up with the police officer that came by and I have been giving her pointers. She had just taken some thank you cookies to the station and needed some support. :thumbup: )   I still have gas today, but it has subsided quite a bit. Insicions hurt but only a little bit. My throat is almost all better. There is just a small cut on the top of my mouth from the breathing tube that is driving me crazy.   I have been drinking water like crazy. Yesterday I had grape juice, a popsicle and a tiny bit of chicken broth. No issues whatsoever. Today I have had more juice and I'm having hot tea now. I also took my birth control pill and had no issue. For lunch I will have some more chicken broth and for dinner I might get crazy and have some beef broth.   All in all...not a bad experience. Yesterday I felt like I got hit by a Mack truck, but today just a VW bug. Ha!   Hope you are all doing well out there!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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One Month Out

I've been having trouble posting my blog entries and have lost about three. Supposedly things are fixed, so here I go! I am one month out. I have lost 22 lbs and 8.75 inches. YAY!! Most of that was during my pre-op diet, but I'm still down in total since the surgery. I understand this is bandster hell and I'm trying! I've found that I'm less obsessed which is good, but since I didn't lose anything last week...maybe it isn't too good. I analyzed what I ate last week and found that I'm spending too many calories on carbs and fat. So my goal for this week is to really focus on high protein and low carb meals. My scale goal is to get on a downward, losing trend. I'm trying not to be too selfish and impatient, but I just want to go in the right direction! Working out again feels really good. I think it will take about 6 weeks for me to get in the habit of going to class 3-4 times a week, but that is my goal. I used to do that without a problem, but it is amazing what you can get used to when you are being lazy! I know that without a doubt, the exercise makes me feel better and it will help me get off those pounds. I am definitely feeling more restriction since my first fill. I have had trouble when I eat too fast or take too big of bites, so that has helped me to slow down. I have also had some trouble with heated up chicken no matter the size of the bites, so that has helped me modify my meal plan. Right now I'm having a protein shake for breakfast, my "big" meal at lunch (today was some chicken on a baked potato), an afternoon snack of pita chips and laughing cow cheese, and dinner (grilled chicken salad with boiled egg.) My breakfast, snack & dinner don't see much diversity, so I really try to mix it up at lunch. For instance, yesterday I had grilled catfish with a small amount (2 T?) of broccoli rice casserole. I eat lunch out almost every day. If anyone has any meal ideas for restaurants, please send them my way!! Have a great week!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Back to the routine!

I've missed you all! It seems like forever since I've posted. My parents always keep me so darn busy.   They flew in Thursday and since they hadn't seen me in person since Memorial Day, they were pleased to see much less of me when I picked them up at the airport. When we got home, my friend Marie dropped off my new headboards she made which are super cute! My master BR one is faux leather and the spare BR is denim. Since I never had headboards, it really helps finish off the room.   Friday we went Living Room furniture shopping. I bought a piece of furniture that is two black leather recliners connected by arm rest cup holder things. It is kind of like theater seating except there are only two and it is super comfortable! I think I mentioned that I was tight last week after my fill. Late in the week I think my allergies were working overtime and I started to develop a respirtory infection. By Friday, I could hardly drink water because the drainage was so bad. I spent Friday night sleeping in my brand new recliner. Nothing like breaking it in right off the bat!   Saturday morning bright and early, my dad went with me to the doc for a slight unfill. I only wanted him to take out the .1 cc that was put in last week, but he took out .5 cc instead. I did feel immediately better! Then my mom & I went clothes shopping. I bought tons of shoes and winter clothes. Several items are snug and I won't be able to wear them until later in the winter, but I find closet shopping to be so fun. :thumbup: Plus, I was only bargain shopping now. Only discount stores and preferrably on sale! That was the motto of the day. Today I'm wearing some new things. I have on old blue jeans (that really are getting quite baggy) and black tank top, then over it I'm wearing a new teal short sleeve sweater. I'm also wearing new super pointy yet small healed nude Nine West pumps. I love fun shoes! We met my BFF Cori for dinner at Fuzzy's Tacos on Saturday. I love me some Fuzzy's!!   Sunday brought some errands. I actually bought a bra at Victoria's Secret. OOOOoooohhhhh! Pretty. That and a motorcycle jacket I bought at Nordstrom Rack were the two splurges of the weekend. I'm satisfied with both!   Last night we wrapped up the weekend watching my Colts. Woo Hoo! They kicked some brother butt. :thumbup: I like Eli, but I like winning better. Ha!   Today I'm back at work and will take the parents to the airport at lunch. It was great to see them, but it is time to get back into the routine.   My unfill is going to make it a challenge to eat correctly, but I know I can do it. I'm not sure when I will be able to get in for another fill, so it is up to me to make it work for a while. I'm committed to 4 Jazzercise classes this week and 1 running session. So, THAT should help keep things along. My goal is to be 210 by my New Orleans trip (10/01), and I'm only 2.2 pounds away!!   Have a great Monday everybody!!
LoseIt!

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Getting back on track after the blizzard.

It is nice to get back to normal after Thursday's record snowfall. We in the DFW area do not really know how to function with a foot of snow on the ground. I used to live in Indiana and I never let snow bother me. I have fully converted to Texan life it seems.   I have been logging my weight daily which turns out to be a very smart thing for me. I feel like I have not been losing anything...stuck on the same numbers for a while. I jump up and down by 1-3 pounds everyday, but it all evens out. It turns out that isn't true. First week preop diet - 7.3 lbs lost. Second week preop diet - 4.5 lbs lost. First week postop - 2.0 lbs lost. Second week postop - 5.4 lbs lost. Third week postop - 1.7 lbs lost. Woo hoo!   I realize that the "right" answer would be for me to stop weighing everyday. However, I 100% know that I cannot get myself to do that. And I can honestly say that up or down, it doesn't change what I do. I'm quite focused at this point. So, instead I'm logging my weight each day so I can see the weekly/monthly results and not focus so much on the daily fluctuations. I am much less frustrated now knowing that I lost 1.7 lbs this week!   Also, I am looking forward to going back to Jazzercise. I froze my account for a couple months so I didn't have to pay for time I couldn't go, but it unfreezes on 3/1 and I should have no trouble going back physically. March 1st is only two weeks from today! I will have to take it easy at first because I am WAY out of shape, but I know that it will jumpstart my weightloss and make me feel great!
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Tuesday is better than Monday.

Thank you all very, very much for your sweet comments about my hair. I'm officially on board with it (well, at least 80% and that's more than passing). I'm loving the fact that it only takes about 3 minutes to dry! The next test will be how it works out after my lunch runs. I'm not too worried about it though because my work folks have seen me about ever which way. :-)   So, I'm completely obsessed with the Rangers. I will admit that I'm a Bandwagon fan. I never got into baseball. But I LOVE watching the Rangers in the playoffs. First, the boys are super cute, so that never hurts. But I also love sports and competition and watching the Rangers and Yankees is just fun. Claw! (For those not in the know, the Rangers have the symbols of antlers and claw. Antlers represent speed and the claw is kind of a "high five".) So if you see a random CLAW in my posts over the coming days, that what it means. :-) Go Rangers!   Today is a bit of a tough day. One of my coworkers (from our East Coast office) is leaving my company. I have worked closely with him for over 10 years and he has played a big hand in shaping my career. We are friends as well as coworkers so I think we will keep in some kind of touch, but it won't be the same. Life moves on and everyone needs to do what is right for them, so I hold him no ill feelings and wish him the best. But I will miss him very much! At least he is going to be in town today (with another coworker from the East that I'm friends with as well), so I will get to say goodbye.   On another note, I measured the block around my apartment complex and it is 1.7 miles long. I want to start doing some running in the mornings, but I probably won't start until at least next week. Maybe 2 days a week?   Again, thank you all so much for your support and kind words. I love feedback! It makes such a difference knowing you are out there pulling for me. Know that I am here for you too!!   Beth
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Perky!

I talk to my mom during my daily commute to work. This morning she told me I was perky. Ha! I guess after two weeks, I'm finally getting back to myself.   I guess I was feeling a little psyched up today. Once I started eating solid food, I gained a couple of pounds. Today I had lost those plus another tenth. I feel like I'm getting started again!   Also, today is the first day I'm wearing jeans. I sit a lot and the waistband hits right at my incision. I have put off wearing them because I didn't want to irritate it. Today I put on a tank top to tuck in under my sweater and it seems to have made a nice protective barrier. Plus, the jeans fit well...almost loose! Since they were getting very snug before surgery, I'm feeling pretty good.   Today is also the first day I can have real (non-canned) chicken, fish, & vegetables. I'm going to Rockfish for lunch so YUM!   I don't eat my breakfast until 9:00 AM and we leave for lunch around 11:30 AM. So, lately I have been drinking half of my protein shake for breakfast and then drinking the rest around 3:30 when I'm starting to get a little hungry. It really seems to be working well and it is the same amount of calories, etc., they are just spread out!   My perky self better get back to work. Have a bandtastic day!
LoseIt!

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Ready for a fill.

I'm SO glad that I made the fill appointment. Yesterday, I really focused on what I was eating and my hunger. Morning was okay. I had my normal coffee then smoothie which generally gets me to lunchtime. I drink my coffee when I get to work and usually start my smoothie around 9:30. So, I'm not finished with it until 10:15 typically, and sometimes I'm not finished with it until 11:15 which is when we go to lunch.   Yesterday, I had lunch in and gave up working out as I mentioned in my blog. I had some soup (which isn't a good choice for staying power) along with a few tortilla chips and hummus. In retrospect, something solid would have helped keep the hunger at bay longer. In this case, I was hungry by 3:00. I had some greek yogurt and was fine until dinner.   By the time we got to the restaurant, I was starving. I did have a drink. It was called Between the Sheets. I asked the waiter (who I'm pretty sure was gay) how he liked Between the Sheets. Honest to goodness, I wasn't trying to be flirty, but it came out that way and my girlfriends thought it was hilarious. For the record, it was delicious! I was proud of myself because even though I'm able to eat bread, I passed on the deliciously-smelling rosemary bread that was delivered to our table. I ordered the tilapia dish which was grilled fish with the tastiest citrus caper sauce. It came with super thin cut fingerling potates and blanched arugula. I ate about half my fish and all of the potatoes. The problem came when my new waiter boyfriend gave me a complimentary red velvet cupcake. The place was known for their pastries, so who was I to say no?? I took my leftover fish (and the extra 2 cupcakes to my BFF who couldn't make it to dinner.) I stayed up to watch the disappointing Rangers game and by the time I went to bed, my stomach was growling. :-(   Jax tells me that between my calories consumed and calories burned (I didn't work out at all yesterday), I should have broke even. I was up 2 tenths on the scale this morning, so that make sense. I fluctuate 2-4 tenths with bloating, easy.   This is part of the process, I know. I will have to by hyper aware of what I'm eating. I will have to eat healthier because I'm requiring bigger portions to keep me full. That...and exercise...is what I will have to do until I can get some help with my fill. i will NOT let this set me back.   As frustrating as it is, I will probably not realistically reach Onederland by Thanksgiving. But that's okay. As long as I don't gain anything until my fill, I will consider it a success. After that, I will reevaluate. :-)   On a final note...I saw a friend last night that I hadn't seen in two months (actually, more like 10 weeks) because she was unable to make it to our last monthly dinner. She went on and on about how much weight I had lost and how good I looked. I've lost 12 pounds in that time which is more that I realized. I told my mom that I had only lost about 7 pounds since I had seen her. Ha! Anyway, 12 pounds is still less than 20% of my total weightloss. But I think those 12 pounds really made a substantial difference.   Okay, really the final note...today I'm wearing some skinny jeans. I've never worn skinny jeans before because they make my butt and thighs look to big. But I bought these and paired them with a black shirt and longish black and white cardigan. I have on tall black leather boots outside of the jeans. This is a real fashion risk for me, people! :-) I feel myself ready to make some bolder choices. Maybe it is the hair!   We are almost to the weekend, everybody! Hang on!!
LoseIt!

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Day #14 - Liquid Diet

This is it. This is the last day! So close!! YAY!     In my mind the process is broken down into steps: Waiting period - done.
Pre op diet - almost done!
Surgery
Healing
Weightloss
10% of weight lost (28.5 lbs)
50 pounds lost
75 pounds lost
Hit 200 (85 pounds lost)
100 pounds lost
Nutritionist goal (120 pounds lost)
Surgeon goal (135 pounds lost)
Adjusted goal TBD
[*]Maintenance I have no idea how long this all will take, but I do better when I have smaller obtainable goals. Getting through surgery is a biggie for me and that itself will be be done (probably) by this time tomorrow. Whoa. Ahem...anyway...   The only thing on my mind is to get through the surgery safely then start on healing. I consider the healing process to be from tomorrow afternoon through my first fill which is scheduled for 2/19.   I will give you all an update as soon as I can!
LoseIt!

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Taking a break.

I'm not sure why I haven't blogged much this week. I don't feel bad or down, just not motivated to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard.)   Jax & I have reconciled, so that's good. I have taken a one week hiatus from exercise (which might be a very good reason I'm so blah right now.) I've decided to completely focus on food intake this week. I have done great! My goal is to keep it up next week when I layer in exercise, but to add a 150-200 calorie snack on big work out days (like Jazzercise.) I don't think I need additional calories for my small 20-30 minute lunch work outs.   Next week I will hit it hard, I actually start on Saturday with an hour of Jazzercise. I have more Jazz on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday & the following Saturday. That alone would be great! But I will also layer in at least one lunch work out on Tuesday and go from there.   Saturday I'm also getting my hair cut. I think I'm going to continue with the length. However, I'm thinking I might go shorter and sassier next time. But for right now, I like how my long hair is framing my thinning face. Plus, I wear it up most days because it is SO DARN HOT!!   I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday. This week has flown by! I hope you are all having a fabulous one!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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Day #9 - Liquid Diet

I defnintely got over my hump from yesterday, so YAY!! I'm so glad that I have stuck to it.   Since I have always been entertained by BG's poop stories, I have one of my own. Everything has been "regular" since starting my liquid diet. That is, until this morning. Whoa. Liquid in...liquid out. Blast off. Holy moly. Ahem. Anyway, I guess I have this to look forward to for the next few days. Fun times! Note to self: no quick toots in the file room! Not that I ever do that sort of thing. :thumbup:   I got my blood work today, so another things down. Just have to get my allergy shot today and go by the pharmacy for my post op meds.   Wow...it is really coming quickly! But I still have 5 more days of liquid, so it is okay that it is.   Have a super duper day!
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Missing blog entry...

I have been having trouble with my internet connection and accessing this site the last few days. I just noticed that my blog entry from yesterday didn't actually make it to posting. It was brilliant too, I tell you. Brilliant! :rolleyes2: Anyway, I lost another 1.5 lbs this week which was really good because I had GAINED 3 lbs early in the week preceding my fill. 3 lbs! That is nuts. I got my fill on Friday though and all is well. Being on liquid for two days really jumpstarts the weight loss. YAY! My first fill was great. My surgeon has all the newbies have the first fill together. It was a little mini support group and I got to hear a lot of different experiences. The fill itself did not hurt at all. Plus, I got a Scooby Doo bandaid. Excellent! Tonight is my first night back to Jazzercise. That should be interesting! I had excellent intentions of walking or working out on my Wii prior to getting back to Jazzercise. Didn't happen. Not even remotely. I just need structure to exercise. I hate that, but at least I have found something that works. I'm sure I will whine for the next few weeks, but in the end I will feel great! I want to lose this weight and I think for me, exercise along with the healthier diet is the key. I want this, so I am committing myself. I hope everyone is having a great week!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

3
 

Entereing Bandster Hell...

All of my pains from surgery are behind me and I'm feeling good. I've not had any trouble eating from the beginning although I didn't have an appetite until this weekend. I gained 2 lbs this weekend from the solid food, but I guess that is normal. I'm not aloud to eat a lot of types of protein yet so I'm getting too many carbs. Wednesday I can add chicken and fish to my diet so that is going to help tremendously!!   I also need to get moving. I know I can't Jazzercise yet, but I can walk and work on my Wii. I need to make a committment and do that this week.   I have a support group meeting tonight, my first since being banded. It will be nice to be able to share some of my experience and to better understand some of what others will be sharing.   I'm sure Bandster Hell will get worse before it gets better. My first fill is a week from Friday. I just have to set my mind to "dieting" for a couple of weeks. That will be easier once I can eat meat and vegetables.   I can do it! Have a great week everyone!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Constipation & Craters

Hi all! So, I've started my new "night blogging". I think I can see why I did it in the morning. By the time you get to the end of the day, you are just ready to wind down!! One thing I do have to figure out is how I can have time to write, but also to read. I LOVE reading and responding to your blogs, so I will work on how I can do both.   First, constipation. Holy moly, do I have it. I have been taking Benefiber twice a day, but it just isn't working for me. I bought Miralax today and I'm trying that tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to invest in some Activia. I will keep you posted. Ha!   Second, my PCP referred me to an ENT for my throat issue. I feel sure that I have mentioned the disgusting issue I have with food getting stuck in the back of my throat. Well, I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow. When I talked to them on the phone, they said that it sounded like I have craters. Ha! How hysterical is that? Craters. Heh. I can't wait to hear more about that. Hopefully they can fix it though. I'm starting to get an ear ache from it!   Today, one of my best employees resigned. Sigh. She is excellent and has so much potential. She is the person I had planned to groom to lead the group. I'm sad because we are losing someone special. But I wish nothing but the best for her. It is going to mean some craziness for us. I feel sure that I'm not going to get to replace her so things should get super fun!! Wish me luck!!   Hope you all had a good Monday!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

1
 

Back (again!) from vacation...

Hi everyone! It is a busy day getting back into the swing of things. I will have to post about my trip tomorrow.   In the meantime, I'm very proud to say that I lost a pound on this vacation that I found on the last vacation!! :cursing: So, only a pound to go until I'm back to my lowest again.   Also, I got a fill yesterday so that should help me control some of my hunger. I was holding my own, but it was tough.   It is time for progress pictures! I have attached my "Casual" pics from the beginning, last month and this month. I also attached "Head" pics from the beginning and this month.   I will post the super fun "Spandex" pics tomorrow.   I missed you and look forward to getting back into my routine!! :thumbup:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

4
 

15 weeks

Tomorrow will be 13 weeks post surgery. Wow...time certainly does fly. Yet, in some ways it feels that it was much longer ago. 15 weeks ago I started my pre op diet. For 15 weeks I have been making more healthy choices than unhealthy choices. I honestly can't remember a time when I was that dedicated to anything non-work related for that long.   Today the anticipation of weighing actually got me out of bed. It is kind of funny, but true. I lost 3.2 lbs. last week which is good, but being that it was a fill week, it wasn't outstanding. Plus, Saturday morning I was down a pound from that and subsequently gained it back over the weekend. Yesterday, I did eat 1800 calories which is high for me. My metobolic test showed that I should be able to eat 2200 calories per day with no exercise and maintain. So, although I ate 1800 calories, I worked out for 65 minutes (25 elliptical & 40 Jazzercise). SO...I just knew that pound was going to be gone. I kind of hoped that there would be more, but I'm not greedy, that one pound would be sufficient.   You all know what is coming here...a great big fat ZERO. That's right, nothing. Nada. Zip. ::deep breath:: My body does this and I know better. But darn it if it doesn't get me riled up. I know it's okay though. I know that I need to continue to follow the rules and it will work out.   All of this got me thinking...15 weeks. I've been doing this for 15 weeks. Yes, I have frustrating mornings like I had this morning, but I also know that it will work itself out. I am working hard by working out. I am working hard (for me) by not eating heavy foods and sweets ALL THE TIME. But I'm not working so hard that I can't continue. That's why I have been able to do this for 15 weeks.   Another reason I have been able to do this is that I can't not. There have been a few days in there where I just wanted a big fat cheeseburger...but I can't eat a big fat cheeseburger. It is just not possible. Flat out...my tastes are changing. I have found that I don't even like French fries anymore because I have to chew them so much they don't taste good anymore. It's been 15 weeks and I'm doing well. The band isn't making me exercise, but I am. The band isn't making me order the grilled chicken instead of the fried, but I am (most of the time.) And most importantly, the band doesn't comfort me in the way that food used to, but I'm not letting it get me down.   This is MY journey. MY life. MY band. I can't live exactly as anyone else and they can't live exactly like me. I'm owning this 15 weeks of positive life change. It is MINE!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

4
 

Starting out...

October 30, 2009: I have been researching LB for a few months now. I have had the initial consultation and learned that my insurance will not cover. I am still moving forward and have my initial meeting with my doctor on 11/17. Since I am paying for the procedure myself, I will need to wait until 2010 to take advantage of my company's flex med program. That will at least help with some of the cost.   I am keeping my mind open in case something comes along that makes me realize that this is not for me. However, I believe that I have done enough research to know most of the costs and benefits.   I am 35 and single so the decision is my own. My parents know I'm thinking of it and support me completely. My friends, although skeptical, realize they have no idea what I'm going through and will stand by my decision.   I have noticed that people who are active in a lap band community seem to be successful overall, so I have determined that I should try.   I'm not a writer by nature, but I think logging my experience (if only for myself) can only help. I have a long way to go, so the next few months will only be prep.   My motto for now: Prayers and preparation! :crying:
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Final week of my self-imposed 8 week Jumpstart!

I have to say that the 8 week exercise program I committed to has been great. Althought, I hit a little snag last week. I had to cancel my Wednesday appointment with my trainer because I was feeling weak from my Tuesday fill. Then my trainer canceled our Friday appointment because of an issue on his side. Big bummer. The only organized exercise I got last week was 90 minues of walking. That doesn't come close to the 45 minutes per day I have been averaging. That's okay though. The way I see it, last week was a week that left me full of excuses and I still got in 3- 30 minute workouts. In the past, I would have done nothing AND I would have just stopped. Not this time!! Today I plan to Jazzzercise to start my week.   I had a couple of NSVs this weekend. First, a guy told me I was pretty. I'm not going to qualify that with anything. A guy told me I was pretty and I'm quite sure he meant it. Yay! Also, on the flight to our destination this weekend, I told my friend that the last time I was on a flight the seatbelt didn't fit. The belts on the plane we were on were kind of long so she was shocked, but I told her that not all seatbelts are the same. I had plenty of room. However, on the flight back, I quickly saw that this plane had short seatbelts like I had encountered before. This time it fit! There was a older gentleman across the aisle from me who was having touble. He and his wife couldn't figure out what was wrong with his seatbelt. I knew that they were short and probably just didn't fit. The flight attendant came by shortly with an extender. I heard him and his wife talking about how they couldn't believe it didn't fit and what they were going to do about it. I couldn't have been more sympathetic. It was nice to know that in the four months since my last plane ride, I had made a big (no pun intended) enough change to truly make a difference.   While I was writing this blog entry, something happened that makes me realize how much my life has changed. Today I was scheduled to meet a friend for lunch. She sent me an email and postponed. Shortly after, another friend that I work out with on Thursday's emailed me and told me that her boss had scheduled lunch with her during our next work out so she was planning to work out today. I brought work out clothes for Jazzercise after work, but usually if I work out at lunch & after work, I bring two sets of clothes (I sweat A LOT.) I decided that after last week, I need to make some extra effort. So, I'm going to work out at lunch AND Jazzercise today. I just have to find something to use for a towel. :biggrin: Don't get me wrong, I know this isn't anything earth shattering. But I'm just so proud of myself for being flexible instead of letting myself make excuses. That hasn't always been my M.O.   I have my eye on the prize. This weekend marks the end of the month and it would be SUPER if I could have a 10 pound loss this month. To do that, I need to lose 2 pounds this week. I will let you all know how it goes!!   I hope you all have a wonderful week!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

5
 

Monthly Update

Another month gone by! In some ways, it is hard to believe that it has been over 7 months since my surgery. In other ways, it just seems like it could've been a few weeks ago!   I was only slightly dissappointed when I realized that my loss for the month was 4.8 pounds. I mean pre-surgery, that would have been a really big deal! It is 60% of my monthly average. So the irritating portion of my brain says that isn't enough, but the other portion (the one that I CHOOSE to listen to) says that I should be proud of myself. I hit a plateau this month and instead of quitting in discouragement, I hit it head on. I learned a lot about myself and my body and I got myself back on track. THAT is the difference between me NOW and me BEFORE. I like it!!     That little lady is on the move! :tt2:   Today, I took my monthly measurements which I take in 13 places (neck, upper arms, wrists, bust, waist, belly, hips, thighs, calves). I am absolutely thrilled that I lost 11.25" this month. I have been tracking weight loss/measurements for eight months to include my preop diet. In those eight months, this is the 3rd most inches lost, but the LOWEST pounds lost. That just goes to show how important it is to measure!! It sent me from "not being disappointed" to being "absolutely thrilled." :thumbup: YAY!   I have to go sit through some boring CPE webinar. Boo! Talk to you all later!!
LoseIt!

LoseIt!

4

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