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About this blog

My daily thoughts.

Entries in this blog

 

New Hairstyles - What do you think??

Two weeks from Saturday I'm getting my hair cut and I think I want to go with a whole new style. I have been growing it long for over a year now and I think I need something new for my new body. I have used a virtual hairstyler and I want to get your feedback. See the attached pictures and let me know what you think!!   The first long bob is the most "me". It is what I will probably get unless I'm convinced otherwise. :smile: I think the short flippy 'do makes me look a little too matronly (or soccor mom anyway). Plus, I think it might be too high maintanence. The one labeled "Choppy" is my favorite short cut and then one I think I might be able to be talked into. It seems super fun! The "short crazy" one will be the one my stylist wants to do!! I'm an accountant, I don't know if I could keep it that "messy". There is another long bob picture in there that is slightly different...again, because that is the kind of cut I usually go for.   Let me know what you think! I will try to keep a thick skin... :ohmy:   Now, onto other things. I was another full pound up on the scale today. That is a stumper. However, I don't "feel" like I'm gaining and Jax tells me I shouldn't be...so, I'm going to continue to be patient. Today is a running day (lunch workout, 2 miles with 2 sets of hils and speed drills) which always makes for a good weigh in the next morning. We will see if that remains true.   I'm not wearing anything new today, but I feel GREAT!! I have on an Old Navy wool grey skirt with black leggings and grey short boots. I have on a black T-shirt and a denim jacket on top. It feels very current without being TOO trendy. I would have preferred tights instead of leggings, but there is no way I would have been able to get tights on after working out at lunch!!   SIDE NOTE: I just had an awesome moment. I was in my colleague's office and I noticed a couple of our staff members looking in but didn't think much of it. As I walked out, one of them (a girl who has been GREAT support this year) said that she pulled the other guy out of his cubicle to look at me. She said that she turned the corner and saw me in the office and didn't know who I was. When she realized it, she had to get someone else to see.   ::Pause:: ::Blink, Blink::   SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!   ::Deep breath:: Now back to work! Happy day everyone!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Renewed vigor!

It is so very interesting how when I don't stay current on my blogs, I don't hold myself as accountable for my weightloss. Don't get me wrong, the Band keeps me from going nutso and losing all control. But I find if I'm not logging my goings on, I also don't police myself as much as I should.   I have found that this journey is FULL of recommittments and that's exactly what I'm doing today. I need to lose 6.6 lbs. to reach the 75 lbs. lost mark. I'm committing today to do that by the end of the month. It is not by any means an aggressive goal for me, but it is enough to make me work at it. I'm going to New Orleans the first weekend in October and I think it would be lovely to have reached my goal. It starts with a 2 mile run today at lunch!!   I'm getting a fill tomorrow, so that should help with the hunger. While it is nice to have some flexibility on what I can eat, it is harder to make good choices when you are hungry. DUH! I guess that just brings me right back to why I started this process!! Although my allergies are causing some acid reflux and I'm sure that tightening the Band will make it worse. I will ask the doc about that tomorrow.   Today is the day for picture updates. I have attached full body shots for today, one month ago, and the start. Also attached are head shots from today and the start. I'm really feeling good!! Tomorrow will be the super fun spandex pics. Ha!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

I did it!!

Today I RAN my first 5K. YAY!! My first goal was to finish...check! My second goal was to RUN the whole thing and not stop or walk...check! My third goal was to finish in 45 minutes...close. I saw the clock hit the 45 minute mark but I wasn't quite there. I'm pretty sure I finished before 46 minutes though. I will have to check the website tomorrow to be sure exactly.   My SIL was AMAZING! She is a runner and could've made it in half the time, but she was with me every step of the way. My nephew took off at the start and finished in 27 minutes. He is 10 yo and is SO AWESOME!   It was so discouraging at the beginning because it felt that the whole crowd flew past us and I felt like my chest was about to burst open. The first mile seemed hard for me but I figured out at the first mile marker that we did it in 12:54...considering I usually run a 14 minute mile, no wonder I was tired!!   The second mile started with a hill that was about 1/3 mile long. It was when I really wanted to walk. I kept thinking that I could walk faster than I was running. In fact, some walkers passed me at times. HA! But Gretchen kept encouraging me and even at one point jogged ahead and came back to report on where the hill ended. Once I got up that, I KNEW I HAD to finish the race running. The 2nd mile (with the hill and the fast first mile) was REALLY slow, but I made it. The 3rd mile is a blur. I only remember seeing each hill and saying "Oh my God, Gretchen" every single time. And every single time she would say "You can do it!" or "You are doing awesome!" or "You have a good pace, keep it up!" In fact, she carried water for me and would uncap it and give it to me whenever I wanted something.   I honestly keep getting tears in my eyes thinking about it. When we hit somewhere mid 3rd mile, I hit a brick wall. We were passing over a bridge and I remember thinking that I could die. My chest felt like it was going to explode, but I was SOOO close. When we saw the finish line I heard a girl's voice yell "Go Beth!" Later I realized that my SIL's sister was there. Then my brother was at the finish line to cheer me in and take my picture. I have NEVER in my life loved my brother more than in that moment.   When I crossed the finish line, I burst into tears. This was MY marathon. Four months ago, I couldn't run a mile. I am so blessed that all those who love me didn't tell me I couldn't do it. They just supported me along the way.   I did it!! And now I just want to do it again and better! Well...as soon as I can feel my legs again. :confused: You all are also part of my inspiration network and I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!   I'm finishing this day by taking my soon to be 7 yo niece to get a manicure, then to the mall and dinner. Can't think of a better way to spend the day!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Terrific for a Tuesday!

You know it is going to be good day when someone tells you that you look good. It's even better really because my BFF Cori (who is not one to sugar coat or to give false praise) told me that my outfit makes me look skinny and another friend (who is a little quicker to compliment) told me that I look great. Woohoo!   I am a big fan of long shirts/short dresses with leggings. Today, I'm wearing a navy blue Simply Vera dress with a black ribbon belt. It's very simple, but I think it is pretty. I've paired it with black leggings and silver encrusted black sandals. I went ahead and took pics. I also added a pic from 7.12.10 in a similar outfit. I think it is fair to say that today's outfit is a little more body skimming than the last one, but I also think there is a difference in the body it is skimming. Ha! (FYI, we took several pictures today but the lighting kept making my boobs look deformed. This one kind of looks like I'm about to fall down, but my boobs looked normal so I went with it. :mad:) It's funny how eager I am to take pictures these days...   Jazzercise was great last night. I can really feel my body doing things I was just not able to do before. My lunges are lower for sure and using the 10 pound weights is getting a little easier. NOT EASY, mind you, but easier. I feel strong!   Today is a lunch work out. I'm going to try and run two miles. I'm slow...I will stick to 4mph which will take 30 minutes, but hopefully I can do that!   Tonight is my monthly girls' night Interesting Dinner. It is restaurant week, so we are going fancy! We are headed to a chop house, so I'm going to try steak for the first time post op. I like my steak medium rare, so if I take very small bites and chew, chew, chew, I should be okay. Wish me luck!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

How informed do I REALLY want to be?

I just read a whole bunch of posts from people who have had bad experiences with LB. There were studies sited and personal experiences shared. Sigh. Then there were people not being so nice to the posters. There are flat out denials, but then there is some compromise. Double sigh.   I do understand that this is not magic. I understand that it will be up to me to make good food choices, to chew well, to exercise, and do all of the other things I need to do. I understand that I will need to listen to my body and trust my intincts.   My biggest fear from what I was reading is that I will either feel no restriction or feel so restricted that I'm constantly throwing up. There were several people that had that experience and it scares me because the point of the LB is restriction, but too much is so unhealthy and counterproductive.   My second biggest fear is that my stomach will erode around the band or that I will develop scar tissue on my liver and not realize it until a lot of damage has been done.   I'm certainly not talking myself out of this, but it I can't say that it didn't dampen my spirits a bit this afternoon.   I guess everyone faces the same thing. I am definitely not turned off by how much work it will be, but it is disheartening to think that I will do this, work hard and still could end up in a worse place.   I prefer happy posts. :tongue2:

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Group!

I love my LapBand support group! We had our monthly meeting last night. I have made good friends with two of the ladies in the group. I email back and forth with one (Ann) most days. We are accountability partners and share tons of information and experiences. The other (Debi) and I text each other to share SVs and NSVs. We also do things together, like tomorrow night we are going to see Dreamgirls. These two friendships alone make Group worthwhile, but it is even much more than that. Hearing the questions and experiences of so many other people is invaluable to me. My friends and family are SOOO supportive, but no matter what happens, they can't understand it completely because they haven't done it. Our group has a lot of newly banded people, a few waiting to be banded and a few old timers. It is amazing to hear their words of wisdom!   Group night also means updated photos for me. I put all of the new ones in my albums, but this angle was particularly great for me. I have attached the "before" picture and then last night's "current" picture. What a difference!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Space & pics

What a wonderful weekend at the NASCAR races! We always have a good time, but this weekend seemed particularly fun.   I have noticed something interesting about thin people vs. fat people. Now don't get me wrong, this is going to be a generalization (and honestly, there is no good or bad) but just something I noticed. Overweight people (especially women) are typically very aware of the space around them and how they fit into that space, more so in my opinion than thinner people.   Example #1 - My BFF Cori is not only thin, she is petite. At 5'0" tall and small build, she doesn't often have to worry about much in the size department. There were four of us at lunch the other day sitting in a booth. Cori & I both scooted in to each end. I put my purse on the floor and my jacket on my lap to make sure that the other person in my seat (a super petite person) had plenty of room. I was sitting with my arm touching the wall so I was as far over as I could be. I noticed that Cori put her purse by her side against the wall of the booth and was seated more toward the middle. They seemed to have plenty of room, so it certainly isn't a big deal. But it did make me realize that I think about the space that I take up (even though it is WAY less now) more than smaller people.   Example #2 - I was at a company event and we were all in a big room standing in a circle. There were these desk tables around the room and I decided to sit on one. I precariously perched on it and settled in with as little weight movement as possible. A guy I work with who probably weighs 60 pounds less than me came over and jumped on it with the full force of his body. I cringed as I waited for the desk to settle. It didn't break and I was so relieved. It is funny because Chris didn't think anything about it, but if the desk would have fallen down, I would have been mortified. I would have felt that people would have been looking at me...not him. Again, he didn't do anything wrong at all. I just noticed that we approached doing the same thing very differently.   As a fat person(for I will always be that in my mind, I feel), I think I will always be more concious of my surroundings. I think sometimes that will be a very good thing and sometimes I think it will be a bad thing. It is just something that will make me a little different from someone who has never experienced literally not being able to fit in.   Now...picture time! Today I will post my spandex pics and tomorrow I will post my casuals. Changes are way more subtle now, but I can still see them.   I have attached my front pics from last month and this month. And I included side pics from the start, last month and this month. I think I'm actually feeling better about my arms. :-)

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Changing perspectives.

I chose not to post my "Casual" pictures yesterday. It was because I didn't think they were very flattering so I considered retaking them today. But then I thought more about it and realized that even though I don't think they are as flattering as some, I still don't dislike them!   For years, I have hated having my picture taken because of my weight. I would work at getting a good angle, hiding in the back, or just avoiding the camera. Now, I don't hide at all. Sometimes the shot isn't my favorite, but I'm not embarrassed by it. And that makes a HUGE difference.   I realized that is quite a big milestone. And now I'm PROUD to post my pictures. I have the full body shots from the beginning, last month and current and the head shots from last month and current.   I will NOT HIDE anymore!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Getting back on track after the blizzard.

It is nice to get back to normal after Thursday's record snowfall. We in the DFW area do not really know how to function with a foot of snow on the ground. I used to live in Indiana and I never let snow bother me. I have fully converted to Texan life it seems.   I have been logging my weight daily which turns out to be a very smart thing for me. I feel like I have not been losing anything...stuck on the same numbers for a while. I jump up and down by 1-3 pounds everyday, but it all evens out. It turns out that isn't true. First week preop diet - 7.3 lbs lost. Second week preop diet - 4.5 lbs lost. First week postop - 2.0 lbs lost. Second week postop - 5.4 lbs lost. Third week postop - 1.7 lbs lost. Woo hoo!   I realize that the "right" answer would be for me to stop weighing everyday. However, I 100% know that I cannot get myself to do that. And I can honestly say that up or down, it doesn't change what I do. I'm quite focused at this point. So, instead I'm logging my weight each day so I can see the weekly/monthly results and not focus so much on the daily fluctuations. I am much less frustrated now knowing that I lost 1.7 lbs this week!   Also, I am looking forward to going back to Jazzercise. I froze my account for a couple months so I didn't have to pay for time I couldn't go, but it unfreezes on 3/1 and I should have no trouble going back physically. March 1st is only two weeks from today! I will have to take it easy at first because I am WAY out of shape, but I know that it will jumpstart my weightloss and make me feel great!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Go, go, go!

Just got my flu shot, so I'm ready for Fall! :confused:   Last night I had a few moments of thought about my journery. I'm in my "small" range. I'm within 10-15 pounds of my lowest weights as an adult. I wondered briefly if this could be it for me. I mean, I look pretty great! I've gotten into almost every "skinny" piece of clothing I have. What can I really expect?   And then I started looking at some pictures. My SIL was finally able to send me pics from my 5K. As I was looking at them, I realized that if I can do THAT...I can do MORE! It might take 3 years, but who cares? I'm loving my life right now and I'm going at a pace that I can continue for as long as I need. Sometimes, I guess I just need to remind myself. :thumbup:   Speaking of my 5K pictures, I have attached a few. As I mentioned before, my SIL was absolutely awesome! I'm truly not sure I could have done it without her.   Today I'm committing to running 2 miles at lunch and Jazzercising for an hour tonight.   Fun NSV: I was able to wear a dress today that I have had for YEARS, but it hasn't fit. It looks really nice and I've gotten several compliments!!   Have a wonderful day!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

The scale isn't the only place I'm finding inspiration!

I lost 7 pounds last month, so in no way has my weight loss stalled. However, as you all have come to know, I'm a very impatient person. I want to see a little come off on the scale EVERYDAY! Obviously, that is unrealistic and I need to learn to appreciate life without one eye focused on the scale.   One way I'm doing that is through pictures. As horribly hard as it was for me to have pictures taken of myself at my biggest, I'm now very glad I did. The physical transformation I have gone through is instant inspiration to me when I have any low feelings at all.   Another way I focus OFF the scale is focusing on how my clothes fit. I'm wearing a size 16 NY&Co pair of pants today that I bought when my mom was in town. Less than three weeks ago, I could get them on, but they were too snug to wear. Today, they look perfect!   I remember the way I felt when I weighed 285 pounds. I still went places with my friends, but I felt withdrawn. I wanted to fade into the woodwork. I wanted to hide myself and my body. I was so hard on myself for every little thing because I felt insecure because of my fatness.   Now, I'm much more confident with my body. I practically flirted with a guy in the elevator this morning. Ha! I will catch a glace of myself in a mirror or window reflection and I can hardly believe it is me. I worked out twice yesterday and didn't feel like I was overworked. It's absolutely incredible.   As you also have been able to tell, I love having my picture taken now. I still have a long way to go, but I just feel so darn good! No need to put off living while I finish the job. :confused:   Tonight I'm going with one of by LAP-BAND® Support Group buddies to see Shrek. I have made friends with two girls from the group. I'm so grateful to have folks face to face that are going through what I am going through. Plus, they are super fun!!   Happy Wednesday!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Like Guns & Roses...I need a little Patience!

I'm a self pay patient and I'm scheduled for 1/27. I love the doctor and the package of care that is included, so I was fine with the price. Expensive, but it is what I wanted.   I saw a commercial today and the advertised price for EXACTLY what I have scheduled had dropped $3k. Holy cow.   I made a call to the office and left a message with my contact to see if I can get the newly advertised price. Hopefully, they will just say yes and that will be the happy end of it.   But of course, I'm nervous that they won't.   Nothing I can do until they call me back.   For you GNR fans...   I sit here on the stairs 'Cause I'd rather be alone If I can't have you right now I'll wait, dear Sometimes I get so tense But I can't speed up the time But you know, love There's one more thing to consider

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

A pound up, but feeling GROOVY!

That pound I lost during vacation seemed to find me this morning. But I don't care, because I feel GREAT!!   I'm not too concerned because I ate fine yesterday and I ran at lunch. I'm sure it is just a body fluctuation that happens from time to time.   Yesterday, I went SHOPPING. I was SUPPOSED to be getting a pair of jeans since I'm down to only one pair that fits well and a pair of dress pants. ALL of my dress pants are too big. My company switched to jeans when we downsized, but we have to dress business casual when investors come calling. We have one coming in today and I wasn't sure what I was going to wear.   I started at Lane Bryant. My plan was to get a size 1 Blue pair of Right Size jeans. Imagine my surprise when the sales girl told me they have switched sizing yet again. Sigh. So I grabbed pairs of 14s & 16s and headed for the dressing room. I tried the 14s first and they were too tight. Not just jeans tight, but ill-fitting tight. In retrospect, I think they might have been petites. I tried on the 16s and they were loosey goosey. Ugh.   So, I moved on to Ross. I was picking up all sorts of dresses (not on the list) and a couple of shirts (not on the list) and a pair of jeans (yay!). I LOVED the dresses. I tried on 6 and ended up buying 4 (!) of them. I also bought the size 16W (woohoo) jeans. On impulse, I bought a shirt. It is sleeveless though so I fear it is one I will never wear.   Next I went to TJ Maxx. As soon as I walked in I realized that I had never been there before. Who knew? Anyway, their selection of Womens sizes left a bit to be desired, so I quickly moved on.   Dress Barn was on the way back to my car, so I stopped. I picked up a few pairs of jeans to try from the Womens side. I moved to the Misses side and on a mannequin was a dress I had tried on while shopping in Florida with my mom a couple of months ago. At that time, I tried on the XL and although it "fit" my body, the words "stuffed" and "sausage" came to mind. I picked that up to try on as well.   ALL of the jeans I selected were too big. WHAT?? YAY!! I went out and got a 14W and they looked great! I tried on the dress and although it is still too tight to wear, it actually fit! It was 50% off so I bought it as my inspiration. I will wear that dress when I go visit my brother's family in Louisville Labor Day weekend!!! I ended up with the jeans, the dress, a short sleeve jacket type cover-up thing, & two pairs of capri leggings. I'm on a big kick of wearing dresses (a little shorter than I might normally wear) with leggings.   The jacket I'm wearing in one picture is my "skinny" jacket I bought several years ago. It doesn't quite look super buttoned up yet, but it looks good over the dress.   I'm feeling like one hot mama today! Ha! I still have a LONG way to go, but it is so nice to feel good along the way.   I'm looking foward to my Volleyball road trip this weekend. Maybe I will find a cute Wichatan. :smile2: Have a great weekend everyone!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Anther 5K in the books!

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night since I was anxious about the run. When I did get up, I felt ready to go. Liz picked me up at 7:15am and we were off. It was a chilly morning, so I wore long pants and a sweatshirt over my Tshirt along with some gloves. When we got there, I didn't want to carry my sweatshirt around, so I shed it and just wore my Tshirt but I kept the gloves. Brrrr...   We got there about a half hour early so we tried to keep moving to keep warm. Finally it was time for the race to start. We lined up at the back and followed the herd. There was a lengthy and kind of steep hill to start. At about the half mile mark, I was wondering why in the heck I was doing this!! I muscled through it and around the mile mark, I was able to settle in a bit. The start of the 2nd mile was a shorter steep hill which I was able to take easily. Liz kept up conversation for both of us which helped keep me distracted. About halfway through the race, I ditched my Target $1 gloves.   Once we hit the two mile marker, I knew I was doing well. The third mile had one more medium hill and then it was time for the end which was down the hill that started the race. The last couple tenths I kicked to the absolute delight of Liz, ha! Liz timed us finishing at 45:14 and the official results showed 45:12. Since my last one was 48:03, I am very excited! My ultimately goal was 45:00, so I was REALLY close!!   After some coffee, we made our way home. I'm so happy and proud of what I am accomplishing. My next run is on 12/04, so just over a month.   Halloween is an evil holiday. People keep giving me candy and I just keep eating it. At least I'm logging it...   Have a wonderful weekend!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Six Month Update

Yesterday, late in the day, I realized that it was the 6 month "anniversary" of the start of my LAP-BAND®® journey. My pre-op diet started on that day with me weighing in at 285 pounds. Prior to 2009, I had never weighed more than 255-260, so I was in a horrible place for me. Six months is not a long time at all, but looking back, it feels so much longer ago!   Last night, I went back and read my old blog entries from the beginning. I laughed because sometimes I can be so darn silly. I cried because I remembered how isolated and unhappy I was.   My favorite blog entry to read was the one I posted on 12.10.09 titled "Ailment Buster!" I had made the decision to have the surgery, but was still wondering if it was the "right" thing to do. I listed out all my issues and how losing weight (which I felt I couldn't do without surgery) would help those issues.   Here I am, 6 months later and 58 pounds lighter with an update.   Sleep - I had gotten so big that my CPAP was no longer working effectively. My friend & I went on vacation together and she said that it slipped off and made noises all night. I was tired all the time and it was clear there was a problem. Now, my CPAP is working! I'm less tired and I have more energy. I just went on a weekend trip with my friend and she said that she didn't hear a peep all night!   Acid Reflux - I was on 2 Nexium per day pre-surgery. TWO! I haven't taken any since my surgery and I have had no issues. I never imagined that it would have that much of an effect from day one.   Blood pressure & cholesterol - My blood pressure has been in the LOW normal range since the surgery. No issues!! I haven't had my cholesterol checked yet, but I'm sure that it will be good too!   Skin - I am proud to say that I can now reach every area of my body in order to clean it well. Ha! Yay! I have had hardly any breakouts since the surgery which comes from eating better, I'm sure. Also, I don't have as much of an issue with flab rolls causing rashes. Now I'm just trying to work on my stretch marks!   Feet - Through most of 2009 and the start of 2010, my feet ached constantly. I had to wear tennis shoes or crocs all the time. I still have issues with plantars fasciitis, but my feet don't ache all the time. I can wear cute shoes to work! Also, I've started jogging and as long as I don't over do it, my feet are able to handle it!   Knees - I have noticed hardly ANY issues with my knees. Maybe a little when jogging or Jazzercising hard, but nothing much. And I think even that will fade with more weightloss.   Energy - while I don't always have optimal energy, I sure do beat the pants off where I was. I go, go, go all the time!   Anxiety - I have had almost no anxiety issues since the surgery. I believe that most of my anxiety stemmed from being uncomfortable with myself and insecure. The better I look and the better I feel, the less I worry about EVERYTHING.   Comfort - The difference is astounding. Last weekend I went on vacation and I spent very little time checking on whether I was the fattest girl around. It still happened sometimes, but it used to consume me. I think I am back to a "normal" comfort level for me. I am eager to see just how comfortable I can get!!   WOW! Six months. Almost no time in the grand scheme of things. Many times I have expressed my frustration or impatience to you all and then used your strength to psych myself back up. Now here I am, back to "normal". Such a relief. I am so happy!   By Fall, I expect to be at my lowest weight as an adult. Then I will be headed into uncharted territory. It is so exciting! It feels SO far away, but 6 months have passed so quickly that I know it will be here before I know it.   I have worked hard, but I haven't worked so hard that I can't maintain this pace. This life is doable. I'm doing it and I'm going to keep doing it!!   I ended that blog with a quote, "The more you love yourself, the easier you are to love by those who love you." As I have become more comfortable with myself, the less focus I put on what others do. It is absolutely freeing! I do LOVE myself and I'm loving me more and more each day. I can tell that it has an effect on my friendships and other relationships. The good ones are getting stronger and the not-so-good ones are showing themselves and fading away.   Halfway there everyone! Can't wait to check the status of everything next January!!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Who Knew I Was a Big Fat Liar?!?

...or in this case a somewhat plump, (but soon to be svelte) and sassy liar. :thumbup: As I told you all yesterday, I have committed to 4 weeks of logging calories burned and calories consumed. My Body Bugg comes in the mail on Wednesday, but I didn't want to delay starting.   Yesterday was Day 1. About lunch time, it was quite clear to me that I was lying to myself about the calorie count for what I have been eating.   My current theory: it is my understanding that a pound equals 3500 calories, so to lose 2 pounds in a week, I would need to have a 7000 calorie deficit a week. That translates to 1000 calorie deficit per day. My metabolism test said that I burn 2200 calories per day and I'm estimating that I burn about 300 calories during my work outs. (I can't wait for Jax (my Body Bugg) to tell me for sure!) That means that I would need limit my calories (roughly speaking) to 1200 on non-work out days and 1500 on work out days.   Yesterday was a work out day, so I allowed myself 1500 calories. I planned it out at the beginning of the day because I have found that I'm not so good on the fly. You are SHOCKED, aren't you??   What I learned in one day (which I probably alreday knew but was subconsciously denying) was that I treat myself too much in the evening (especially when I have worked out) and I have too much of a tendency to pick high fat proteins over lean proteins. Since I am in a decent exercise routine, the next 4 weeks will be about making better food choices.   My goal is to lose 120 pounds. I feel that the first 60 pounds has been relatively easy since my hard work has been in exercise which I'm finding (gasp!) somewhat enjoyable. I say relatively easy, because it certainly wasn't EASY easy. But I haven't exactly been putting up every effort. Controlling my food intake (for me) is the hard part. I believe it is going to take a lot more of that to get through the next 60 pounds.   Thank goodness I have you all in my corner!! Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get myself up early to Yoga. It's only a 1/2 hour earlier than normal, but you would think it was the middle of the night! :smile2:

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

 

Day #14 - Liquid Diet

This is it. This is the last day! So close!! YAY!     In my mind the process is broken down into steps: Waiting period - done.
Pre op diet - almost done!
Surgery
Healing
Weightloss
10% of weight lost (28.5 lbs)
50 pounds lost
75 pounds lost
Hit 200 (85 pounds lost)
100 pounds lost
Nutritionist goal (120 pounds lost)
Surgeon goal (135 pounds lost)
Adjusted goal TBD
[*]Maintenance I have no idea how long this all will take, but I do better when I have smaller obtainable goals. Getting through surgery is a biggie for me and that itself will be be done (probably) by this time tomorrow. Whoa. Ahem...anyway...   The only thing on my mind is to get through the surgery safely then start on healing. I consider the healing process to be from tomorrow afternoon through my first fill which is scheduled for 2/19.   I will give you all an update as soon as I can!

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LoseIt!

 

Monday it is...

I don't like to dwell, so I'm dealing with the hair situation. I know it isn't a bad cut because some people REALLY seem to like it. But I've figured out that it just isn't me. I think it will take about 3 or 4 months to really get it grown out enough to get the cut I want. I think there are a lot of people that look super cute with short hair, I just don't think I'm one of them.   I went and bought a few little barrettes and headbands to jazz it up a little bit. It is what it is. From here on out, I will just work it the best way I know how. :thumbup: Like several of you said, it is just hair and it will grow back. No big life change.   So, other than the hair debacle. the weekend went well. Friday, I sat at home and watched the sad, sad Rangers game. Saturday, I sat at home and watched the super fun Rangers game! It was a nice treat to cheer me up. Then we went for tacos, which is another treat!   After church and breakfast yesterday, my BFF and I went to see a show. We have season tickets to a regional theater in Dallas. They are quite a liberal group and can get a bit risque, but they always put on an excellent show. And they are never boring!! Yesterday was no exception.   Last night I finished my weekend with the Colts game. Since that ended well, I would say I had a good weekend.   Hope your Monday is a good one!

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LoseIt!

 

What do you mean you FORGOT to eat?

I remember people saying that they "forgot to eat" or were just so busy that they "never managed to eat lunch." Huh? What? If I EVER skipped a meal, I certainly noticed and that rarely happened.   A. I spent 35 years hungry, I think. Well, when I wasn't stuffing myself, that is. I constantly was conscious of how much food I was eating compared to others. And it was ALWAYS more. Yet, I hardly ever seemed full.   B. I LOVE food. I love the way it tastes. I love textures and new combinations. I just love it. That won't change and I will always want what I want. I would hate it if I didn't like food.   C. These things are facts. They are just who I am and I won't be able to change that. At best, I will have to learn to work around it.   Approximately three months out from surgery, I realize how wrong I was.   A2. The band works. I have been diligent in getting monthly fills and if I'm not at my sweet spot, I am close. Sometimes I'm hungry, so I eat. Other times I'm not, so I don't. It is truly a bizarre feeling for someone whose main focus throughout life was the next meal.   B2. Tastes change. Some things that I used to love (eg. french fries) no longer appeal to me. Funny how they lose their flavor when chewed to a pulp. I thought I would HATE that, but I don't. They no longer taste good to me, so I no longer eat them. It's a "good for you" choice that I am making because of the band.   C2. Pffffft... So not true! This band has truly exceeded expectations. I feel sure that with time, things could change again. However, this is BY FAR the most effective tool I have ever used (diets, pills, programs, etc...) to eat better. I honestly never believed that I would have a day where I ate to live instead of lived to eat. However, yesterday was just that day.   I think I mentioned to you all yesterday that my grandmother passed away. Typically sadness and stress made me want to curl up in a ball on the sofa and eat. But with this band and my new committment to exercise, instead I worked out and ate nutrionally what I needed for the day (along with a little bit of ice cream...but that's okay!) Today I hit the 40 pound loss mark. YAY! I hope you all don't get sick of me telling you when I reach the MANY goals I set for myself. Reaching these little goals keep me motivated. 40 pounds lost, 80 to go. I'm a 1/3 done and it feels like I barely started.   Life is good!

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LoseIt!

 

Aren't Chinese people small? Or am I making that up?

Last night on my way home from Jazzercise, I decided that since I worked out twice (ran at lunch and did high impact Jazzercise at night) that I would stop and get myself something fun to eat. I told my mom that I was getting Chinese food and she said that I was going to weigh more the next day. I told her that I wasn't planning to eat A LOT, I just wanted something different. She told me that she thought that Chinese food made you weigh more the next day. Whatever. I ordered the Mandarin Chicken which is not fried, but I did have the sauce. I just ate the chicken, no side. I also drank about 2 glasses of Diet Cran Grape juice. This morning I am up 1.4 pounds!! Crazy. Considering I had over 1000 calorie deficit yesterday, I know it isn't real, so I'm ignoring it. But geeze!!   I was really proud of myself yesterday during my run. I ran almost the entire two miles at some sort of incline. I also got the incline up to a 4 in some places where as last week the inclines were lower and shorter duration. I "sprinted" the last few tenths of the 2nd mile. I discovered that when I really push myself faster, I lengthen my stride. So I think if I can work on that and get myself to naturally lengthen my stride while running, I can improve my speed with less effort than it would take to actually increase my pace. We will see how that works. I have 5 weeks to improve before my next 5K.   Today's new items: I'm wearing my new Victoria's Secret bra. It sure is comfortable! I'm wearing a tan, black & white animal print tank under a brown short-sleeved sweater that cinches with a button at the waist. I paired with my new Levis (size 16!!) and my new brown low-heeled brown loafers. I'm feeling sassy today!! New clothes from head to toe. :thumbup: I will try to post some pics of all the fun new shoes this weekend.   Today is a no exercise day. We are meeting some friends for lunch and tonight is the So You Think You Can Dance tour!! We will be there along with an audience full of 12 year old girls screaming our heads off!! Woooooooooooo!   Have a happy Wednesday!

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LoseIt!

 

Info or Advice?

Hi everyone! It is amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you are willing to accept it. One thing I have noticed during this "journey" is that people have no hesitation in giving out advice and indicating that they know better than I do. I have had that with diet, exercise, you name it.   But then I started to realize that I do it too! And I started to wonder how I am making people feel when I do that. I'm trying to make a consicous effort to only give advice when it has been requested (except of course when it comes to my parents...they get it automatically. :tt2:) It is a fine line between giving (or getting) information and giving (or getting) unsolicited advice. In my opinion, I LOVE information and want as much of it as I can get. But I can do without advice and the judgement that sometimes comes with it.   For instance, with my decision to start walking down the stairs at work...I appreciated getting the information that walking DOWN stairs can be hard on your knees and isn't typically a recommended form of exercise. With that information, I can pay close attention to my knees and any pain that might creep up. However, I didn't appreciate the advice that I should be walking UP the stairs and how I should go about doing that and then the judgement that followed when I decided to stick with my plan for the time being.   [Deep breath.] I just get frustrated, you know? Anyway, I hope it goes without saying that my blog is an unofficial solicitation for feedback, so advice out here NEVER goes unappreciated!! :smile: Maybe I'm being hypocritical, but I think it is different.   Speaking of Project Stairs, I have finished Day 4. My calves are still burning, but at least I was able to get out of bed this morning without feeling like I was going to collapse! They hurt, but now feel more like I had a crazy hard work out...not that someone beat my legs with a bat. Ha! One more day then they will get a two day break.   My friend bailed on water aerobics with me last night. She is a working mom of three, so I can hardly get upset with her! I went to Jazzercise instead. I will go again tonight. I love it, so it is always good!   Have a great day!

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LoseIt!

 

Day #10 - Liquid Diet

I had an interesting coversation with a friend the other day. She was the first person other than my mom that I told about my decision to have LB and she is very supportive. I was reminiscing about days long ago when I was smaller and I said something about having no idea what I would look like at 180 because i have never weighed that as an adult. Her eyes got wide and she said that she didn't think I looked 180 now. Ha! I'm currently 280. I love my friend, but I'm quite sure I don't look 180. She said that she thinks her husband is lying to her about how much he weighs since it isn't as much as me. I told her that he probably wasn't as I weigh more than most men I know including my dad (who is NOT a small man.)   That got me to thinking about my body type. I have been so fortunate in my life to always look like I weigh much less than I do. My weight is very evenly distributed over my body and I've always (well, until very recently) had a shape. The last area to really gain is my midsection. As I've gained this year into weights I have never been before, I have developed fat areas that I've never had. I now have a large belly and the dreaded intertube.   I have lost about 10 pounds on my liquid diet and I can tell a difference in my midsection. Although this area is smaller, I think I can tell that it is never going to be the same. Although I feel sure it would have only gotten worse, I am a little sad that I didn't start this process earlier.   Oh well, what's done is done. I'm quite sure that once I get to 180, I won't be disappointed!!

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The next stage of the journey...

So now that I have lost my first 50 pounds, I feel like myself again. I have been overweight all my life and well over 200 pounds my entire adult life. At 235, I weigh about 20 pounds less than I did when I graduated from college. I would say that the bulk of my adult life was spent weighing 225-255 lbs. Sometimes I would get a little lower and sometimes I would get higher, but that was my "normal range".   So right now, I look and feel like "me." As I lose these next 50 pounds, I will be making the journey to my high school graduation weight. This is an exciting time because anything more than 10 pounds and I will be "skinny" me. I got down to 200 pounds twice in my adult life but didn't stay there long. It will be such a pleasure to get there this time knowing that I'm going to blow right on past it! It is hard to believe that I am 5 months into a new lifestyle and I'm going strong! I would have never lasted 5 months on a "diet".   I have attached a head shot and a full body shot from the very beginning (mid-January) and from today. I'm so pleased!   Today I restart my exercise focus. This week my plan is to see my personal trainer twice, Jazzercise twice and do the treadmill work at least twice.   I have a support group meeting tonight and they always get me fired up! I have a couple of friends that I met through Group and I always look forward to seeing them.   Have a good week all!

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LoseIt!

 

20 lbs & 2 NSVs!

It has been 10 days since my surgery and I'm really starting to get back in the swing of things. If you read my earlier blog, you know that I was having esophageal spasms that hurt tremendously. Well, as the swelling has gone down, the spasms have almost fully gone away. Yay! I hope that means that I won't have problems with fills, but I will definitely keep track of it. As of today, I am down 21.1 lbs. I include my pre-op diet pounds in my total because it is all part of the process. I am a little worried that I will gain some now that I am eating solid food, but alas, that is part of the process as well. I had TWO non-scale victories today. I am a HUGE Colts fan and my best friend is a HUGE Saints fan. She mentioned a couple weeks ago that she was planning to wear her cute little women's cut Saints jersey to work today. Well, my XXL men's Colts jersey hasn't fit for months. I tried it on last night and it doesn't look half bad! YAY! So, I can represent! That is NSV #1. NSV #2 - I haven't worn my rings in several months. I kept telling myself it was because I was "swollen". Heh. Anyway, they are a little snug, but I'm wearing my rings (that I wore everyday for about 10 years) again today. It is only the beginning and good things are just flying at me!! Hope you all are having a bandtastic week!

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LoseIt!

 

Final week of my self-imposed 8 week Jumpstart!

I have to say that the 8 week exercise program I committed to has been great. Althought, I hit a little snag last week. I had to cancel my Wednesday appointment with my trainer because I was feeling weak from my Tuesday fill. Then my trainer canceled our Friday appointment because of an issue on his side. Big bummer. The only organized exercise I got last week was 90 minues of walking. That doesn't come close to the 45 minutes per day I have been averaging. That's okay though. The way I see it, last week was a week that left me full of excuses and I still got in 3- 30 minute workouts. In the past, I would have done nothing AND I would have just stopped. Not this time!! Today I plan to Jazzzercise to start my week.   I had a couple of NSVs this weekend. First, a guy told me I was pretty. I'm not going to qualify that with anything. A guy told me I was pretty and I'm quite sure he meant it. Yay! Also, on the flight to our destination this weekend, I told my friend that the last time I was on a flight the seatbelt didn't fit. The belts on the plane we were on were kind of long so she was shocked, but I told her that not all seatbelts are the same. I had plenty of room. However, on the flight back, I quickly saw that this plane had short seatbelts like I had encountered before. This time it fit! There was a older gentleman across the aisle from me who was having touble. He and his wife couldn't figure out what was wrong with his seatbelt. I knew that they were short and probably just didn't fit. The flight attendant came by shortly with an extender. I heard him and his wife talking about how they couldn't believe it didn't fit and what they were going to do about it. I couldn't have been more sympathetic. It was nice to know that in the four months since my last plane ride, I had made a big (no pun intended) enough change to truly make a difference.   While I was writing this blog entry, something happened that makes me realize how much my life has changed. Today I was scheduled to meet a friend for lunch. She sent me an email and postponed. Shortly after, another friend that I work out with on Thursday's emailed me and told me that her boss had scheduled lunch with her during our next work out so she was planning to work out today. I brought work out clothes for Jazzercise after work, but usually if I work out at lunch & after work, I bring two sets of clothes (I sweat A LOT.) I decided that after last week, I need to make some extra effort. So, I'm going to work out at lunch AND Jazzercise today. I just have to find something to use for a towel. :biggrin: Don't get me wrong, I know this isn't anything earth shattering. But I'm just so proud of myself for being flexible instead of letting myself make excuses. That hasn't always been my M.O.   I have my eye on the prize. This weekend marks the end of the month and it would be SUPER if I could have a 10 pound loss this month. To do that, I need to lose 2 pounds this week. I will let you all know how it goes!!   I hope you all have a wonderful week!

LoseIt!

LoseIt!

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